<NME> README.md
<BEF> # volkswagen

Volkswagen detects when your tests are being run in a CI server, and
makes them pass.

[![Build status](https://travis-ci.org/auchenberg/volkswagen.svg?branch=master)](https://travis-ci.org/auchenberg/volkswagen)
[![js-standard-style](https://img.shields.io/badge/code%20style-standard-brightgreen.svg?style=flat)](https://github.com/feross/standard)
![Volkswagen status](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/volkswargen_ci.svg)

![](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/illustration.gif)

## Installation

```
npm install volkswagen
```

## Usage

Just require volkswagen somewhere in your code-base - maybe in your main
test file:

```js
require('volkswagen')
```

## Project status

CI servers detected:

- [Travis CI](http://travis-ci.org)
- [CircleCI](http://circleci.com)
- [GitLab CI](https://about.gitlab.com/gitlab-ci/)
- ...actually all CI servers that exposes a `CI` or `CONTINUOUS_INTEGRATION` environment variable

Test suites defeated:

- [GitLab CI](https://about.gitlab.com/gitlab-ci/)
- [Codeship](https://codeship.com)
- [Drone.io](https://drone.io)
- [Magnum CI](https://magnum-ci.com)
- [Semaphore CI](https://semaphoreci.com)
- [AppVeyor](http://www.appveyor.com)
- [Buildkite](https://buildkite.com)
- [TaskCluster](http://docs.taskcluster.net)
- [GoCD](https://www.go.cd/)
- [Bitbucket Pipelines](https://bitbucket.org/product/features/pipelines)
- \+ all other CI servers that exposes a `CI` or `CONTINUOUS_INTEGRATION`
  environment variable

Test suites defeated:

- [assert](https://nodejs.org/api/assert.html)
- [tap](https://github.com/isaacs/node-tap)
- [tape](https://github.com/substack/tape)
- [chai](http://chaijs.com/)
- \+ any test actually that set the exit code or throw an error

## License

MIT

## Credits
Heavily inspired by https://github.com/hmlb/phpunit-vw

<MSG> Spice up README.md
<DFF> @@ -5,10 +5,30 @@ makes them pass.
 
 [![Build status](https://travis-ci.org/auchenberg/volkswagen.svg?branch=master)](https://travis-ci.org/auchenberg/volkswagen)
 [![js-standard-style](https://img.shields.io/badge/code%20style-standard-brightgreen.svg?style=flat)](https://github.com/feross/standard)
-![Volkswagen status](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/volkswargen_ci.svg)
+[![Volkswagen status](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/volkswargen_ci.svg)](https://github.com/auchenberg/volkswagen)
 
 ![](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/illustration.gif)
 
+## Why?
+
+If you want your software to be adopted by Americans, good tests scores 
+from the CI server is very important. Volkswagen uses a defeat device to 
+detect when it's being tested in a CI server and will automatically 
+reduce errors to an acceptable level for the tests to pass. This will
+allow you to spend _less_ time worrying about testing and _more_
+enjoying the good life as a successful software developer.
+
+You can start already by adding our always-passing build badge to your
+README:
+
+[![Volkswagen status](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/volkswargen_ci.svg)](https://github.com/auchenberg/volkswagen)
+
+Markdown snippet:
+
+```md
+[![Volkswagen status](https://auchenberg.github.io/volkswagen/volkswargen_ci.svg)](https://github.com/auchenberg/volkswagen)
+```
+
 ## Installation
 
 ```
@@ -31,7 +51,8 @@ CI servers detected:
 - [Travis CI](http://travis-ci.org)
 - [CircleCI](http://circleci.com)
 - [GitLab CI](https://about.gitlab.com/gitlab-ci/)
-- ...actually all CI servers that exposes a `CI` or `CONTINUOUS_INTEGRATION` environment variable
+- ...actually all CI servers that exposes a `CI` or
+  `CONTINUOUS_INTEGRATION` environment variable
 
 Test suites defeated:
 

Spice up README.md