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5 Hot tips every women must try! Men’s Sex Secret When you first start dating a guy, it makes sense that he would conceal stuff he’s not particularly proud of—his disorderly apartment, his hairy back, his mother’s daily phone calls. But by the time you’re a serious couple—maybe even living together—you probably assume you know your bedmate’s every last habit, flaw, and idiosyncrasy. Don’t be so sure. According to new research published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, one in 10 men are harboring a serious sexual secret. “There are two kinds of secrets guys keep,” says Les Parrott, author of Crazy Good Sex. “Things they wish their wives or girlfriends would understand but are scared they won’t, and things they’re just plain trying to get away with.” With that in mind, we polled hundreds of men to learn what they hide at each stage in a relationship and enlisted experts to offer their insights. We discovered there’s a decent chance your man is keeping at least one dirty secret. Read on to find out what, if anything, you should do about it. When You’re Dating… What he’s hiding: The number of women he’s had sex with Some men exaggerate to sound more sexually experienced; others lowball so you don’t dismiss them as players. “Men know that if they confess to a large number of partners, it sends the message that they’re unlikely to commit to one. That is, to you,” says David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and author of The Evolution of Desire. What you should do Take him at his word, but protect yourself. Be vigilant about using a condom every time you have sex—at least until you’ve both been tested for STDs and you feel secure that you’re in a committed relationship. If you do somehow discover that he’s deceived you about his sexual history, get it out in the open, but give him a chance to explain. “He could have fibbed out of embarrassment, insecurity, or sincere interest in you,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. What he’s hiding: He looks at porn—maybe a lot According to a study at Brigham Young University, 87 percent of men have looked at some form of porn in the past year, and one in five help themselves to X-rated fare daily. Men like to look at naked chicks—no surprise there—but what is shocking is how quickly they can become dependent on those erotic images. A powerful pleasure cocktail of endorphins and epinephrine (hormones responsible for arousal and alertness) are released while a man watches porn, Parrott says. And that feeling can become addictive. What you should do Occasional porn isn’t the problem; it only becomes a wrecking ball when it starts to intrude on your sex life together. “The two big questions are ‘Is it interfering with your life and relationship?’ and ‘Is he using it to avoid something?'” says sex therapist Sandor Gardos, Ph.D. If he actively hides his material and makes excuses to avoid having sex, be concerned. Broach the subject when you’re calm and rational. “Angry accusations never go over well,” Gardos says. Another tactic: Suggest watching together. “It becomes compulsive when he feels like he has to hide it,” he says. So if you’re willing to share it with him, you’ll take the compulsion out of the equation. Plus, experts say, viewing erotic images together can enhance your sex life. What he’s hiding: He compares you to his last girlfriend It’s true: Your guy whips out his ex ruler and measures everything about you: your looks, your bedroom abilities, how well you get along with his friends. But that’s not necessarily a bad thing. “It’s normal to make comparisons, and an ex is his most recent reference point,” says Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Tennessee State University. What you should do Nothing. He’ll inevitably come to the conclusion that you blow away anyone else he’s ever been with, and the silent comparathon raging in his mind will cease. When you should do something: if he frequently blurts out things like “My ex always…” or “My last girlfriend never…” It’s not necessarily a sign that he hasn’t gotten over her, but it can still be hurtful, Blazina says. When that happens, it’s fair to tell him, for example, that you don’t want him bringing up the details of their trip to Mexico. Chances are, he’s not even aware he’s been doing it and will be happy to stop. 21 Ways to Say “I Love You” (Without Saying a Word) You already know it’s important for you and your guy to tell each other “I love you” — as often as possible. But you shouldn’t depend on those three little words to let your one-and-only know what’s in your heart. In fact, nonverbal displays of affection are often a better way to get through to the man in your life. “Guys tend to be action-oriented, so they feel less comfortable using words to express emotions,” says REDBOOK Love Network expert and psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. “They’ve seen enough Tom Hanks movies to know they’re supposed to always say ‘I love you,’ but they’re not sure that words alone convey how they feel.” Ready to let what you do speak louder than what you say? We asked REDBOOK readers and the men in their lives to share some sweet ideas. Plus, we added in some expert tips on how to give your love a boost without uttering a word. “Sometimes I ‘write’ a love message on my husband’s breakfast toast. Using cookie cutters, especially my Valentine’s Day set of hearts, I press one lightly into a slice of bread, just hard enough to imprint it, then I toast it. It never fails to bring a smile to his face.” —Anita Crehan, Mason, NH ROMANCE, REVISITED “Every now and then I leave a card saying how much I love and appreciate him under his pillow for him to find before he goes to sleep.” —Cim Collins, Springfield, IL “My wife, Leigh Anne, sometimes has to travel for work, and when she gets home, I give her a small gift for every day she has been gone. I’ll set them on the kitchen table and wait for her to notice them — things like her favorite perfume, fresh flowers, or a cool piece of handmade jewelry. I love to spoil her!” —John Montgomery, Birmingham, AL “I place special little love notes, cartoons, jokes, or small articles — sometimes racy ones — in her underwear drawer. She never knows what to expect next. She gets a big kick out of them and knows it is my way of saying I love her.” —Joe Cirillo Jr., Englewood, FL “When I take a shower at night, I write messages on the fogged-up mirrors so they appear when he takes a shower in the morning before he goes to work.” —Jackie Peirce, Oley, PA MAKE LIFE A LITTLE EASIER “My husband puts toothpaste on my toothbrush and leaves it lying on the sink for me every night before bed. He is the sweetest husband ever!” —Lisa Wilkes-North, Heath, TX “I scour the TV listings for his favorite movies or a sporting event that I know he’d love to watch. I TiVo it without telling him, then surprise him with it on Saturday morning. Bonus: While he’s on the couch, I’ve just bought myself some me-time. Manicure, pedicure, here I come!” —Cindy Panowicz, Grand Island, NE “Before my husband leaves for work, he sets the table for my breakfast. He lays out a bowl for cereal, a cup for orange juice, strawberries, a napkin, and a spoon. For a big, manly union guy, this is a really major step!” —Patricia Armstrong, Danvers, MA “I love that my husband gets up every morning when I do. His job doesn’t start till 9, so he could easily sleep later than me, but he doesn’t. While I get ready, he gets our three kids dressed and loads them into the van with their backpacks. To me, this is one of the best ways he can say he loves us all.” —Jeanette Dominguez, El Paso, TX SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION “We brag about each other when we’re out with our friends — even if it’s about something little, like, ‘Oh, Barry had the best idea the other day’ or ‘Barry fixed the whatsit that’s been leaking!'” —Jennifer Starr, Columbus, OH “For Christmas, I bought a dictionary and went through it, highlighting all the definitions that describe him or remind me of him.” —Jaynee Germond, Roseburg, OR “Every morning before I get up, he leaves two folded towels in the bathroom for me for when I take a shower — one big towel for my body and a smaller towel for my head.” —Amy Rossi-Espagnet, Atlanta • EXPERT CHALLENGE: SHOW HIM YOUR GRATITUDE WITH A BEAR HUG “The number one complaint I hear from guys is they feel like they don’t get rewarded for the things they do, only told what they didn’t do. Next time your man takes out the trash without being asked or starts the coffee pot for you in the morning, reward him with a 30-second full-body hug. Guys are so physical — it’s easy and teasy.” —Toni Coleman HIGH-SPEED SIGNS OF DEVOTION “I changed the banner on his cell phone to read ‘I Love You’ when he wasn’t looking!” —Becky White, Newton, AL “My husband and I send each other short e-mails to say what we are thinking about at that very moment. Once, he wrote me, ‘The new Brad Paisley song makes me think of you.’ Now every time I hear it on the radio, I’m reminded how much my husband loves me.” —Michelle Magnetti, Colorado Springs, CO “My husband gets up at 5:30 a.m., but he pulls his dresser drawers open the night before so the noise of them opening and closing won’t disturb me. Now, that’s love!” —Connie Maynord, Bastrop, TX SEND A SECRET MESSAGE • EXPERT CHALLENGE: POINT THE WAY “Here’s a suggestive sign he can’t miss: Leave a trail of Post-it notes in the hallway with arrows on them leading all the way to the bedroom.” —Joyce Morley-Ball, Atlanta psychotherapist and author of Seeds for the Harvest of a Lifetime. “Every time we kiss, we do it three times, which stands for ‘I love you.’ When my husband pulls out of the driveway in the morning, I stand at the door while he sets off the emergency light on his truck, also three times for ‘I love you.'” —Peggy Clayton, Dubuque, IA What Men Still Don’t Understand We got guys to reveal the intimate, embarrassing, surprising things they really want to know about how to make sex with you better, sweeter, hotter. Here, the good news you can both use. As far as sex goes, we men have only two questions. They sum up every curiosity we’ve ever had, every mystery we’ve yearned to unravel. Now? Why not now? Well, those are the only official questions. Unofficially, there are a few others we’d like to ask, some that pertain to certain puzzles that have nagged at us since time commenced. Just don’t expect to hear them aloud, because there’s little chance that we’ll ask you the sex questions that we really want answers to. You might freak out. Or dial 911. Or, worst of all, you might discover how clueless we are. So just what are men’s most burning bedroom riddles? Here — according to sex therapists and an unofficial poll of dozens of men who participated in this story only under a veil of secrecy — are the questions that are likely simmering in your guy’s head right now. Plus, you’ll find some tips on how you can help him learn the answers in the least humiliating way possible. “She loves foreplay. My repertoire is a little limited and, honestly, foreplay’s not my favorite part of sex. Any new tricks I can surprise her with?” If men tend to rush through foreplay, it’s because we — to put it mildly — don’t see it the same way you do. We’re ready for sex the moment we have an erection. Delaying intercourse when we have an erection and a willing woman nearby? That’s idiotic, according to our biological wiring. Look, we may have only so many potent hours in our lifetime. Asking us to waste even a precious few minutes on foreplay doesn’t jibe with our evolutionary programming. To us, foreplay has only one purpose: to get you craving penetration as quickly as possible, by warming you up and helping you lubricate. To make that happen, we may touch you the way we like to be touched sexually — i.e., we make a rush for the genitals. “Women usually enjoy the lightest, feathery, teasing touch in areas that men don’t necessarily think of as erotic, such as the face, hair, neck, and the sides of her body,” says sex therapist Aline P. Zoldbrod, Ph.D., author of Sex Talk: Uncensored Exercises for Exploring What Really Turns You On. “Because men often don’t like to be touched like this, they don’t think to touch their partners like this.” If you really want your guy to love foreplay and get creative with it, stop calling it “foreplay” and start calling it “building anticipation.” “Men want to be playful,” says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor at Brown University in Providence and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. As long as we know that sex is coming eventually, making a game out of getting there can create a mind-blowing urgency — one that will soon make sex without foreplay seem dull by comparison. Two ideas to build on: Set a timer, and tell him he’s not allowed to take off his pants for 15 minutes. “It’ll force him to become more creative,” says Haltzman, “and it has all the buildup.” Use sex candies. Or whipped cream. Bait the areas of your body where you want more attention — all the places he misses when going in for the kill. React passionately, and you’ll soon make him a foreplay connoisseur — without uttering one (intelligible) word. “She can only climax when I give her oral sex. Is this normal?” It’s not that guys feel inadequate, mind you. It’s just that we like to see all of the effort and grit of intercourse culminate into something more than, well, you lovingly waiting to get yours. Our intentions are noble; it’s our understanding of anatomy and female arousal that’s lacking. “Men often think that intercourse triggers orgasm for women,” says Sallie Foley, a marital and sexual therapist at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor and author of Sex Matters for Women. “Actually, most women need direct stimulation of their clitoris in order to have an orgasm.” Few guys know that almost half of women don’t come during intercourse, so if you don’t, we may think we’re doing something wrong. The cure for this is a little knowledge. “When couples find out this is completely normal, it takes all the pressure off,” says Foley. Experiment with positions that may give your clitoris more sensation, and use a vibrator or your fingers (or have him caress you) during sex. “When I’m tired or just don’t have my A-game working, I don’t know if she wants me to keep going till she comes, or give up. Should I keep soldiering on or can I tell her I want to stop?” If you can’t imagine why he couldn’t just say, “I’ve had it — can we pick this up again tomorrow?” you’ve clearly never been a man. Quitting mid-game just because you’re losing is a real weanie move. So when you sense that he’s been pistoning on sheer willpower, cut him a face-saving break. Change the rhythm. Kiss your guy and say, “Let’s stop just a minute — I want to put on some music,” suggests Haltzman. Looking through CDs will break his “must please her” trance and mercifully let him collapse on the mattress. When you climb back into bed, stroke his chest or his back. He’ll already be asleep. “Our lovemaking’s become routine. How can I get her to consider something new without having her freak out?” He’s smart to be wondering about this, and it should be on your mind, too. “Routines are dangerous to sexual relationships because they can mean you’ve stopped paying attention,” says Russell J. Stambaugh, Ph.D., a sex therapist in Ann Arbor, MI. “Arousal and desire are all about attention.” We have countless common sexual fantasies, but those that involve you — our steady partner, and a woman who knows where we live — comprise a much shorter list. “The number one thing that guys want to try is anal sex,” says Haltzman. If you’re flatly not into it, tell him you’d like to have more sex in the doggie-style position, Haltzman suggests. A simulation is better than a total rejection. Among the other wishes men cite repeatedly: more oral sex, bondage or S&M play, having you dress provocatively for us and do a striptease, and threesomes. Some couples might discuss these ditties as casually as they would a grocery list. You and your guy aren’t among them? Then be compassionate if he suggests something that you’re not down with. Chiefly, restrain from laughing and saying, “When hell freezes!” “He’s putting himself on the line by asking this and probably feels pretty anxious,” says Haltzman. You want to convey that you take his sick, perverse needs seriously. The winning response: “Let’s think of something that can be just as exciting that I’m into, too.” And remember, we might crave the kinky stuff, but almost anything new — a different perfume, a tight-fitting tee — can add a jolt when we’re in a rut. We’re pretty easy to please. “What is the most expert way to hit her alleged G-spot?” The G-spot has been the best and worst thing ever to happen to men. It’s incredibly empowering to think there’s a magic button we can push to make you blow through the gates of ecstasy. And it’s infuriating and humiliating when we can’t find this damned button or make it work. A secret: As long as you come, we’re happy. It’s when you can’t come — or when we decide that we must do some experimenting, perhaps with your encouragement — that we begin looking for that mystical button-size zone on your upper vaginal wall. Every literate man in America over 25 has read the directions on G-spot stimulation at least 30 times: When you’re fully aroused, he’ll put his finger inside you, press up toward your navel, and lightly stroke you back and forth in a “come hither” fashion. And then you’ll explode like an H-bomb. Right? Not necessarily. Just as many women won’t orgasm from intercourse alone, many women don’t respond to G-spot stimulation, says Zoldbrod. If it does nothing for you, show us what does put you over the top. Rest assured, we’ll happily do whatever works. “She doesn’t want me to go down on her if she hasn’t showered immediately beforehand, even though I tell her that it’s not necessary. Why is she so self-conscious?” Guys are not bashful about receiving oral sex, so when a woman is reluctant to receive it, we can’t relate. We did learn during our dating days, however, that women fall into three camps regarding cunnilingus: They either love it, accept it but wish we’d stop, or close the gates of Oz and say, “No way, no how.” Occasionally even a fervent female fan will decline. “I didn’t know I’d be exposed tonight,” one lover shyly said to me, perhaps because it had been 72 hours since she waxed. To date, I have never said that while holding up my boxers. If you see your guy’s head traveling downward, consider any fears about your odors or tastes to be unfounded. Interestingly, your scents likely seem stronger and more unpleasant to you than they do to him, because you have a keener sense of smell (perhaps to prevent you from eating something poisonous while pregnant, scientists speculate). How much keener? A study of 50 subjects conducted by researchers at the State University of New York at Albany found that 19 out of 32 women could identify the scent of their own underarm odors (on gauze pads worn overnight, if you must know), while only one of 18 men could identify their own odor. And women rated their own scents and those of other females as more unpleasant than males did. So we detect aromas differently, which was probably apparent to you the first time you set foot in our apartment. So let him be spontaneous, won’t you? If no amount of logic will make you comfortable, then shower together first, says Zoldbrod. All you need to say: “Honey, I know you love how I taste, but this will let me have a great orgasm with no distractions.” “I love it when she initiates sex. How can I get her to do it more often?” Men have wanted this since the Neolithic period. But unfortunately, even after all these years, we still don’t always recognize it when it’s happening. “His idea of her initiating sex might mean her prancing into the room in a negligee, and her idea may be giving him an extra-long kiss when he comes home,” says Stambaugh. If he doesn’t take the bait, even because he’s had a stressful day at work, you may feel rejected and decide that you’ll leave the initiating to him. This miscommunication illustrates a common problem. Women expect men to intuit things from obvious hints — such as “those earrings would look great with my new dress” — and then become frustrated when guys miss the message. “With men, you need to be explicit,” says Haltzman. Look him in the eye (or send him a text message) and say, “Would you like to make love tonight?” Or be more playful and say, “How about a roll in the hay, soldier?” Either will thrill him. If you want to devise a subtler sign (such as, say, asking him to shave before bed), tell him what the code means the first time — and don’t flip out when he forgets it the fifth time. “I think I know when she’s had an orgasm, but there’s always the chance that she’s faking. How can I tell that she had a real one?” To us, making you orgasm is like seeing the golf ball fall into the cup. Until that happens, it ain’t over. We just keep on stroking and hope things don’t get too embarrassing. And hope we have the energy to do it 17 more times. The catch: The damned ball is invisible, and only you know if we nailed the cup. The gravest, most unsporting insult you can give a man is to let him win out of pity, and the fear that you’re doing just that — by faking your orgasm — may creep into his brain if he’s the paranoid sort. Or if you’ve given him reason to suspect you of faking in the past. Men’s magazines will tell us to look for orgasm clues like flushing and vaginal contractions, which strengthens the troubling notion that we need to be detectives. (And it becomes even more disheartening when we learn those can be faked, too.) You can kill all of this anxiety by uttering three words: “I didn’t come.” Say this, and then show us what to do to make it happen. Then we’ll know and trust that you’ll speak up when you don’t get yours. We’ll know you play fair. And we won’t worry about it again. Finally, educate us by saying another short sentence, if it’s true in your case. Tell your guy, “I don’t always need to come to have great sex with you.” “Highly sexually satisfied couples can take turns pleasing each other,” says Stambaugh. You both don’t always have to reach the peak to make the trip worthwhile, and couples learn that in time. A great script to use, says Haltzman: “It’s an incredibly powerful feeling for me to see you having fun in bed, and you trying to give me an orgasm is just going to get in the way of it.” Even if that’s a lie, it’s so sexy, we won’t care. “How can I make my erection last longer for her?” “Guys often joke that when they’re in their early 20s, their erections are so firm that they could hang a towel on them,” says Foley. (This frightens guests who enter the bathroom, however.) Of course, as a guy ages, what once held up a wet bath towel at 70 degrees may now only support a washcloth parallel to the ground. We don’t greet this change happily. “Men often buy into the male myth about how they should be performing,” says Zoldbrod. If your guy is distracted during sex by thinking about his erection, he’ll probably lose it. Learning that it’s normal for his erection to wax and wane while he’s making love can help a great deal. Sure, in his 20s, his erection stayed hard even when he wasn’t being fondled. But now, if he’s getting no touch, there’s a natural “relaxation” until he becomes aroused again. Men need to know that they can ask for stimulation to stay hard, Zoldbrod says. (For your part, remember to include his inner thigh and perineum — the sensitive region under his testicles — as well as the penis.) And if he’s unable to have an erection at all, consult a doctor. Many curable or treatable conditions could be to blame. If he’s overweight or has high blood pressure or diabetes, you may have found your culprit. “Sex once a week is plenty for her, but not for me. Can I do anything about it besides hinting and pleading?” We know that a dip in sex drive after marriage is normal in women. We heard the jokes at bachelor parties, and married life has confirmed the rumor. So has science; a British survey of more than 11,000 men and women ages 18 to 64 found that women had a decline in sexual desire after about three years of marriage, and in their 30s and 40s, many had sex drives that were lower than the men their ages had. Women with small children were more likely to report problems. What’s behind the dip? Researchers attribute it to women’s decreasing testosterone levels; men have 10 times as much of the sex hormone as women do, so to expect that we’d all have the same level of desire is ludicrous. Life pressures weigh women down, too. “Women in their mid- to late 30s tend to have way too much on their plates,” says Zoldbrod. Mix a demanding job with kids, and sleep becomes more indulgent than sex. We get that. And many of us have no problem with it. “My research has found that about 75 percent of men had stronger sex drives than their wives, but a significant percentage — more than a third — were comfortable with that,” says Haltzman. Those who were okay with it tended to be older (starting in their late 30s), and to feel satisfied in their marriages overall, he explains. “Studies show that in a good marriage, sex only accounts for about 20 percent of what people say makes it good,” Haltzman adds. So if the marriage is great, and you want sex once a week while we’d prefer it thrice, we probably don’t care — as long as we’re getting enough between-the-sheets time to feel like we have a loving partner. If your guy isn’t happy with the boot-knocking frequency — a hint would be that you’ve turned down his last three overtures — bring this up and negotiate. “Men’s sex drive is more than just a biological need, it’s a drive to connect emotionally,” explains Haltzman. And you, our beloved partner, are the one holding the key. बढ्दै छन् यौनरोगी समाज जति नै उदार बन्दै आए पनि यौन-समस्याका बारेमा भने हत्तपत्त मान्छेहरू खुल्दैनन् । नेपालमा २० देखि ३० प्रतिशत वयस्कहरूमा कुनै न कुनै प्रकारको यौन-समस्या रहेको अनुसन्धानहरूले देखाएका छन् । वीर अस्पतालका वरिष्ठ छालारोग विशेषज्ञ डा. भास्करमोहन कायस्थका अनुसार ६० वर्ष कटेका ४० प्रतिशत पुरुषमा यौन-दुर्बलता हुन्छ । उपचारका लागि अस्पताल धाउने पुरुषमध्ये धेरैमा यौन-उत्तेजना कमी हुने समस्या देखिन्छ । ँउनीहरूमा यौन-इच्छा त हुन्छ, तर उत्तेजना नै नहुने समस्या पाइएको छ,’ कायस्थले भने । त्यस्तै शिक्षण अस्पतालमा कार्यरत वरिष्ठ छाला तथा यौनरोग विशेषज्ञ तथा उपप्राध्यापक डा. रीता श्रेष्ठले पनि यौन-दुर्बलताको समस्या लिएर आउने बिरामीको संख्या बढ्दो रहेको बताइन् । डा. रीता भन्छिन्, ँअध्ययनहरूले यौनरोगी बढ्दै गएको देखाएका छन् ।’ उनका अनुसार उपचारका लागि अस्पताल धाउने यस्ता रोगीहरूको संख्या निकै बढेको छ । वृद्ध-वृद्धा मात्र होइन, यौन-दुर्बलताको समस्या भएका युवा पनि प्रशस्तै छन् । बढ्दो बेरोजगारी, पढाइको चिन्ता, बिग्रँदो आर्थिक अवस्था, प्रेममा असफलता, नैराश्यजस्ता समस्या भएका युवामा यौन-दुर्बलता बढी देखिएको चिकित्सकहरू दाबी गर्छन् । त्यस्तै, असुरक्षित यौन-सम्पर्क गर्ने युवामा पनि रोगको संक्रमण भयो कि भन्ने भयका कारण यौन-दुर्बलताको समस्या देखिने गरेको डा. कायस्थको अनुभव छ । ँकतिपयले त समस्या छैन भन्दा पनि पत्याउँदैनन् । रगतलगायत सबै परीक्षण गरेपछि मात्र ढुक्क हुन्छन्,’ डा. कायस्थ भन्छन् । वेश्यालयमा गएर यौनकर्मी महिलासँगको यौनक्रीडापछि यौनजन्य रोग लागेर सामान्य वा गम्भीर समस्यामा परेर आउने यौनरोगीमध्ये ३० वर्षभन्दा कम उमेर समूहका युवा पनि छन् । यौन-सम्पर्क र यौनसुख मानसिक सन्तुष्टिसँग जोडिएको विषय मानिन्छ । वीर अस्पतालको यौन तथा चर्मरोग विभागका वरिष्ठ यौनरोग विशेषज्ञ डा. केशरमान मल्लका अनुसार यौन-समस्या भएकाहरू आधा पनि चिकित्सकसम्म पुग्दैनन् । उनी भन्छन्, ँहामीकहाँ यौनरोग लागिहाले पनि हत्तपत्त चिकित्सककहाँ पुग्ने बिरामी निकै कम मात्र भेटिन्छन् । लज्जा वा सामाजिक अपहेलनाको डरले अधिकांश रोगीले रोग लुकाउने गरेका छन् ।’ मल्लका अनुसार धेरै यौन-उत्तेजना नहुने समस्या महिला र पुरुषमा समान रूपमा हुने भए पनि अस्पताल आउने महिलाको संख्या निकै कम रहेको पाइन्छ । उनी भन्छन्, ँयौन दुर्बलता पुरुषमा मात्र देखिने समस्या होइन, यो त महिलामा पनि भेटिन्छ । तर, सामाजिक कारण वा लाजले गर्दा महिलाहरू आफ्नो समस्या लुकाएरै गुम्सिरहेका हुन्छन् ।’ यौनरोगीहरू अन्तिम अवस्थामा मात्र डाक्टरकोमा पुग्छन्, सकेसम्म मेडिकलतिरबाट औषधि गरेर निको हुने प्रयास गर्छन् । यौनांगमा घाउ भएका, मुसा वा खटिरा आएका र पीप बगेका धेरै बिरामी पनि अस्पताल धाउने गरेका छन् । ँपिसाब पोल्ने, यौन-सम्पर्क गर्दा यौनांग पोल्ने, गोनोरिया, हर्पिजजस्ता रोग लागेका बिरामी बढी छन्,’ डा. श्रेष्ठ जानकारी दिन्छन्, ँपुरुषका तुलनामा महिलामा यौनरोगका लक्षण ढिलो देखापर्छन् ।’ Recent - How To Create A Bonsai Tree - लामा औँला भएकाहरु खतरनाक चालक - The Super-Slim New Laptop - Fish Robot to detect Pollution in the Ocean - तपाइँले थाहा नपाएका सिने-फ्याक्ट्स - संसारको सानो किताब - शान्ति सम्झौताको एक वर्ष – २३४ को हत्या - बाँझोपनको पनि उपचार हुन्छ - Tips Of The Married Life - गर्भावश्थामा अनुहारमा चायाँ आउनु एक प्रमुख समस्या - French tarragon - Coriander Links Archives - September 2009 (2) - December 2008 (1) Categories - Afghanistan - Animal - Better Life - Birthday SMS - Bonsai - Business Tips - Cave - Challange - China - Clinic - Corruption - crime - Currency - Economic - Education - Entertainment - Extra - Fantastic Fanta - Fertilizer - Financial Tips - Friendship SMS - Fun - Funny - Garden - Good Life - Good Morning SMS - Great Peopel - Great Wall - Happy Life - Health - Health Tips - Herbs - History - Homo-Sexual - Info - Interview - Interview Tips - IT - Kitchen Garden - Life - Life Style - Love - Marriage Life - Media - Meditation - New - New Generation - Niti Shastra - OJT - Out of Track - Pilgrim - Politics - Poll - Population - Profile - Recipe - Relationship - Science - Sex - Sex Life - Sex Query - SMS - Sport - superstation - Technology - Tips - Tour - Travel - Twins - Uncategorized - Video - Welfare - Who is Who - Wise Word - Wonder - World Heritage RSSEntries RSS Comments RSS
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5 Hot tips every women must try! 21 Ways to Say “I Love You” (Without Saying a Word) You already know it’s important for you and your guy to tell each other “I love you” — as often as possible. But you shouldn’t depend on those three little words to let your one-and-only know what’s in your heart. In fact, nonverbal displays of affection are often a better way to get through to the man in your life. “Guys tend to be action-oriented, so they feel less comfortable using words to express emotions,” says REDBOOK Love Network expert and psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. “They’ve seen enough Tom Hanks movies to know they’re supposed to always say ‘I love you,’ but they’re not sure that words alone convey how they feel.” Ready to let what you do speak louder than what you say? We asked REDBOOK readers and the men in their lives to share some sweet ideas. Plus, we added in some expert tips on how to give your love a boost without uttering a word. “Sometimes I ‘write’ a love message on my husband’s breakfast toast. Using cookie cutters, especially my Valentine’s Day set of hearts, I press one lightly into a slice of bread, just hard enough to imprint it, then I toast it. It never fails to bring a smile to his face.” —Anita Crehan, Mason, NH ROMANCE, REVISITED “Every now and then I leave a card saying how much I love and appreciate him under his pillow for him to find before he goes to sleep.” —Cim Collins, Springfield, IL “My wife, Leigh Anne, sometimes has to travel for work, and when she gets home, I give her a small gift for every day she has been gone. I’ll set them on the kitchen table and wait for her to notice them — things like her favorite perfume, fresh flowers, or a cool piece of handmade jewelry. I love to spoil her!” —John Montgomery, Birmingham, AL “I place special little love notes, cartoons, jokes, or small articles — sometimes racy ones — in her underwear drawer. She never knows what to expect next. She gets a big kick out of them and knows it is my way of saying I love her.” —Joe Cirillo Jr., Englewood, FL “When I take a shower at night, I write messages on the fogged-up mirrors so they appear when he takes a shower in the morning before he goes to work.” —Jackie Peirce, Oley, PA MAKE LIFE A LITTLE EASIER “My husband puts toothpaste on my toothbrush and leaves it lying on the sink for me every night before bed. He is the sweetest husband ever!” —Lisa Wilkes-North, Heath, TX “I scour the TV listings for his favorite movies or a sporting event that I know he’d love to watch. I TiVo it without telling him, then surprise him with it on Saturday morning. Bonus: While he’s on the couch, I’ve just bought myself some me-time. Manicure, pedicure, here I come!” —Cindy Panowicz, Grand Island, NE “Before my husband leaves for work, he sets the table for my breakfast. He lays out a bowl for cereal, a cup for orange juice, strawberries, a napkin, and a spoon. For a big, manly union guy, this is a really major step!” —Patricia Armstrong, Danvers, MA “I love that my husband gets up every morning when I do. His job doesn’t start till 9, so he could easily sleep later than me, but he doesn’t. While I get ready, he gets our three kids dressed and loads them into the van with their backpacks. To me, this is one of the best ways he can say he loves us all.” —Jeanette Dominguez, El Paso, TX SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION “We brag about each other when we’re out with our friends — even if it’s about something little, like, ‘Oh, Barry had the best idea the other day’ or ‘Barry fixed the whatsit that’s been leaking!'” —Jennifer Starr, Columbus, OH “For Christmas, I bought a dictionary and went through it, highlighting all the definitions that describe him or remind me of him.” —Jaynee Germond, Roseburg, OR “Every morning before I get up, he leaves two folded towels in the bathroom for me for when I take a shower — one big towel for my body and a smaller towel for my head.” —Amy Rossi-Espagnet, Atlanta • EXPERT CHALLENGE: SHOW HIM YOUR GRATITUDE WITH A BEAR HUG “The number one complaint I hear from guys is they feel like they don’t get rewarded for the things they do, only told what they didn’t do. Next time your man takes out the trash without being asked or starts the coffee pot for you in the morning, reward him with a 30-second full-body hug. Guys are so physical — it’s easy and teasy.” —Toni Coleman HIGH-SPEED SIGNS OF DEVOTION “I changed the banner on his cell phone to read ‘I Love You’ when he wasn’t looking!” —Becky White, Newton, AL “My husband and I send each other short e-mails to say what we are thinking about at that very moment. Once, he wrote me, ‘The new Brad Paisley song makes me think of you.’ Now every time I hear it on the radio, I’m reminded how much my husband loves me.” —Michelle Magnetti, Colorado Springs, CO “My husband gets up at 5:30 a.m., but he pulls his dresser drawers open the night before so the noise of them opening and closing won’t disturb me. Now, that’s love!” —Connie Maynord, Bastrop, TX SEND A SECRET MESSAGE • EXPERT CHALLENGE: POINT THE WAY “Here’s a suggestive sign he can’t miss: Leave a trail of Post-it notes in the hallway with arrows on them leading all the way to the bedroom.” —Joyce Morley-Ball, Atlanta psychotherapist and author of Seeds for the Harvest of a Lifetime. “Every time we kiss, we do it three times, which stands for ‘I love you.’ When my husband pulls out of the driveway in the morning, I stand at the door while he sets off the emergency light on his truck, also three times for ‘I love you.'” —Peggy Clayton, Dubuque, IA बढ्दै छन् यौनरोगी समाज जति नै उदार बन्दै आए पनि यौन-समस्याका बारेमा भने हत्तपत्त मान्छेहरू खुल्दैनन् । नेपालमा २० देखि ३० प्रतिशत वयस्कहरूमा कुनै न कुनै प्रकारको यौन-समस्या रहेको अनुसन्धानहरूले देखाएका छन् । वीर अस्पतालका वरिष्ठ छालारोग विशेषज्ञ डा. भास्करमोहन कायस्थका अनुसार ६० वर्ष कटेका ४० प्रतिशत पुरुषमा यौन-दुर्बलता हुन्छ । उपचारका लागि अस्पताल धाउने पुरुषमध्ये धेरैमा यौन-उत्तेजना कमी हुने समस्या देखिन्छ । ँउनीहरूमा यौन-इच्छा त हुन्छ, तर उत्तेजना नै नहुने समस्या पाइएको छ,’ कायस्थले भने । त्यस्तै शिक्षण अस्पतालमा कार्यरत वरिष्ठ छाला तथा यौनरोग विशेषज्ञ तथा उपप्राध्यापक डा. रीता श्रेष्ठले पनि यौन-दुर्बलताको समस्या लिएर आउने बिरामीको संख्या बढ्दो रहेको बताइन् । डा. रीता भन्छिन्, ँअध्ययनहरूले यौनरोगी बढ्दै गएको देखाएका छन् ।’ उनका अनुसार उपचारका लागि अस्पताल धाउने यस्ता रोगीहरूको संख्या निकै बढेको छ । वृद्ध-वृद्धा मात्र होइन, यौन-दुर्बलताको समस्या भएका युवा पनि प्रशस्तै छन् । बढ्दो बेरोजगारी, पढाइको चिन्ता, बिग्रँदो आर्थिक अवस्था, प्रेममा असफलता, नैराश्यजस्ता समस्या भएका युवामा यौन-दुर्बलता बढी देखिएको चिकित्सकहरू दाबी गर्छन् । त्यस्तै, असुरक्षित यौन-सम्पर्क गर्ने युवामा पनि रोगको संक्रमण भयो कि भन्ने भयका कारण यौन-दुर्बलताको समस्या देखिने गरेको डा. कायस्थको अनुभव छ । ँकतिपयले त समस्या छैन भन्दा पनि पत्याउँदैनन् । रगतलगायत सबै परीक्षण गरेपछि मात्र ढुक्क हुन्छन्,’ डा. कायस्थ भन्छन् । वेश्यालयमा गएर यौनकर्मी महिलासँगको यौनक्रीडापछि यौनजन्य रोग लागेर सामान्य वा गम्भीर समस्यामा परेर आउने यौनरोगीमध्ये ३० वर्षभन्दा कम उमेर समूहका युवा पनि छन् । यौन-सम्पर्क र यौनसुख मानसिक सन्तुष्टिसँग जोडिएको विषय मानिन्छ । वीर अस्पतालको यौन तथा चर्मरोग विभागका वरिष्ठ यौनरोग विशेषज्ञ डा. केशरमान मल्लका अनुसार यौन-समस्या भएकाहरू आधा पनि चिकित्सकसम्म पुग्दैनन् । उनी भन्छन्, ँहामीकहाँ यौनरोग लागिहाले पनि हत्तपत्त चिकित्सककहाँ पुग्ने बिरामी निकै कम मात्र भेटिन्छन् । लज्जा वा सामाजिक अपहेलनाको डरले अधिकांश रोगीले रोग लुकाउने गरेका छन् ।’ डा. मल्लका अनुसार धेरै यौन-उत्तेजना नहुने समस्या महिला र पुरुषमा समान रूपमा हुने भए पनि अस्पताल आउने महिलाको संख्या निकै कम रहेको पाइन्छ । उनी भन्छन्, ँयौन दुर्बलता पुरुषमा मात्र देखिने समस्या होइन, यो त महिलामा पनि भेटिन्छ । तर, सामाजिक कारण वा लाजले गर्दा महिलाहरू आफ्नो समस्या लुकाएरै गुम्सिरहेका हुन्छन् ।’ यौनरोगीहरू अन्तिम अवस्थामा मात्र डाक्टरकोमा पुग्छन्, सकेसम्म मेडिकलतिरबाट औषधि गरेर निको हुने प्रयास गर्छन् । यौनांगमा घाउ भएका, मुसा वा खटिरा आएका र पीप बगेका धेरै बिरामी पनि अस्पताल धाउने गरेका छन् । ँपिसाब पोल्ने, यौन-सम्पर्क गर्दा यौनांग पोल्ने, गोनोरिया, हर्पिजजस्ता रोग लागेका बिरामी बढी छन्,’ डा. श्रेष्ठ जानकारी दिन्छन्, ँपुरुषका तुलनामा महिलामा यौनरोगका लक्षण ढिलो देखापर्छन् ।’ New Techniques To Refresh Your Sex Life he nice, slow lovemaking where all you do is focus on your sensations is the new mantra to renew your sex life as you rediscover each other. Sensate-focused sex exercises involve a series of behavioral practices, which offer variety and increased personal awareness through basic touch. Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated. Particularly for couples in sex therapy, the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction. The benefits of sensate focus include, discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover’s body, as well as your own. Apart from these, going for such exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement. With such non-demands and pleasuring exercises, couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another, touching and feeling each other’s bodies. These highly structured touch activities are about enjoying physical contact to the fullest without trying to arouse each other and should not be mistaken as a form of foreplay, because it is the main experience in itself. Done in several stages over time, they are tailor-made to a couple’s specific issues when working with a sex therapist, reports Fox News. Couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play. This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses. The rules for sensate focus sex are: Breasts and genitals are off limits for the first few sessions. Verbal feedback is limited unless you’re uncomfortable or in pain. Do not try to elicit sexual response (but don’t sweat it if it happens). After each session, be sure to process the experience. When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles. If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several “dates,” and finally get on with the sessions. Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives. The details of sensate focus sex make part of the book ‘ Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots , by Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, who is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. महिलाहरुमा पिसाब चुहिने समस्या प्रा. डा. अर्जुनदेव भट्ट (वरिष्ठ कन्सल्टेन्ट युरोलोजिस्ट) पिसाब चुहिने समस्या धेरै महिलामा हुन्छ । विभिन्न तथ्यांकअनुसार २० वर्षनाघेका महिलामध्ये करिब २५ प्रतिशतलाई यो समस्या देखा पर्छ । नेपाली महिलामा यो समस्या कुन स्थितिमा छ, त्यसको यकिन आंकडा छैन । तर यो समस्याले धेरै महिलाहरु ग्रस्त छन् र उनीहरुले उचित निदान र उपचारको कमीले गर्दा ठूलो सामाजिक एवम् शारीरिक कष्ट भोग्नुपरेको पाइएको छ । खास गरेर महिलामा हुने पिसाब चुहिने समस्यालाई महिला आफैंले र समाजले पनि खुलारुपबाट प्रकाशमा ल्याउन नहुने विषय सम्भिmनाले पनि यो समस्या झन् जटिल हुन पुगेको छ । पिसाब चुहिनाको कारण सधैँ एउटै हुँदैन र सबै प्रकारको पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थालाई एकै तरिकाले उपचार गर्न मिल्दैन । त्यसैले यो रोगको उपचार गर्न र्सवप्रथम यसको निदान हुनर्ुपर्छ । पिसाब चुहिने रोगको ठीक निदान गर्न पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थाबारे राम्रो विश्लेषण हुनर्ुपर्छ । सामान्यतया पिसाब नफेरेको अवस्थामा मूत्रथैलीबाट पिसाब निष्कासन नली वा मूत्रथैलीमा भएको प्वालबाट बाहिरियो भने त्यसलाई पिसाब चुहिने रोग भनिन्छ । पिसाब किन चुहिन सक्छ ? मूत्रथैली एउटा ज्यादै भरपर्दो मांसपेशीले बनेको अंग हो । यसले पिसाब सञ्चय गर्ने र आवश्यकताअनुसार निष्कासन गर्ने गर्छ । जब पिसाब सञ्चय गर्ने कार्यमा मूत्रथैलीको वा त्यहाँ भएका स्नायुहरुको त्रुटिले वा मूत्र निष्कासन नलीको खराबीले पिसाब बाहिरिन पुग्छ, त्यस बेला पिसाब चुहिन्छ । मूत्रथैलीमा प्वाल परेमा पनि पिसाब चुहिन सक्छ । पिसाब विभिन्न अवस्थामा चुहिन सक्छ । चापसँग सम्बन्धित पिसाब चुहिने अवस्था धेरै महिलाहरु खोक्दा, हाच्छ्यूँ गर्दा, केही भारी कुरा उठाउँदा, टुक्रुक्क बस्दा वा यौनसम्बन्ध गर्दा एक्कासि पिसाब चुहिएको अनुभव गर्छन् । जब महिलाको मूत्रथैलीको फेद तथा तल्लो पेटको समतल भाग बढी हल्लिन्छ, त्यस बेला यो समस्या देखा पर्छ । मूत्र निष्कासन नलीको मांसपेशी त्रुटिपूर्ण् भएको अवस्थामा पनि यो समस्या हुन्छ । खोक्दा, हाच्छ्यूँ गर्दा, भारी उठाउँदा वा यौनसम्बन्ध राख्दा एक्कासि पेटभित्र र मूत्रनलीभित्र चापमा वृद्धि हुन्छ । त्यसैले अस्थिर मांसपेशी भएको मूत्रथैली वा मूत्र निष्कासन नली हल्लिएर मूत्रद्वारको मुख खोलिदिन्छ र पिसाब चुहिन पुग्छ । करिब ५० प्रतिशत महिलामा पिसाब चुहिनाको कारण चापसँग सम्बन्धित नै हुन्छ । चापसँग सम्बन्धित पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थामा महिलाको मूत्रथैली पिसाबबाट पूरा भरिन पाउँदैन । पिसाबको थैलीमा थोरै पिसाब जम्मा हुनासाथ पिसाब फेर्ने इच्छा हुन्छ । यस्तो अवस्थामा महिलालाई एकदमै छिटो-छिटो पिसाब फेरिराख्ने बानी पर्न सक्छ । पिसाब चुहिएला भन्ने डरले पनि महिलालाई छिट्टै पिसाब फर्ेर्ने बानी भएको हुन सक्छ । यस किसिमको बानीले पछि गएर पिसाबथैलीमा थोरै मात्र पिसाब हुँदा पनि त्यसलाई ननिखारी नहुने इच्छा जागेर आउनेे बानी पर्छ । यस्तो अवस्थालाई पिसाब फर्ेर्ने झुट्टा प्रबल इच्छा संलक्षण (Pseudo- Urgency Syndrome ) भनिन्छ । महिलामा चापसँग सम्बन्धित पिसाब चुहिने रोग लामो समयमा जटिल अवस्थामा प्रवेश गर्ने गर्छ । कुनै व्यक्तिमा कारणवश छिट्टै्र पनि विभिन्न जटिल अवस्थामा प्रवेश गर्ने गर्दछ । पिसाब फेन प्रबल इच्छा पिसाब फर्ेर्ने इच्छा भएपछि एक्कासि पिसाब रोक्नै नसक्ने भएर जब पिसाब चुहिन थाल्छ, यो अवस्थालाई पिसाब फेन प्रबल इच्छा सम्बन्धित मूत्र चुहावटको नाम दिइएको छ । सामान्यतया पिसाबले ज्यादै च्यापे पनि कहिलेकाहीँ पिसाब रोकेर केही समयपछि अनुकूल अवस्थामा पिसाब गरिन्छ । तर जब पिसाब फेन प्रबल इच्छासँग सम्बन्धित मूत्र चुहावट रोग हुन्छ, त्यस अवस्थामा पिसाब थाम्न जति प्रयत्न गरे पनि सम्भव हँुदैन । पिसाबको चुहावट एकदमै नियन्त्रणबाहिर पुग्छ । यस प्रकारको मूत्र चुहावटको समस्यामा पिसाब फर्ेर्ने प्रबल इच्छा यति छिटो पराकाष्ठामा पुग्छ कि च्यापेर बस्न सक्ने प्रश्नै उठ्दैन । पिसाब रोक्न नसक्ने महिलाहरुमध्ये प्रायः १० देखि ३० प्रतिशतमा यो अवस्था देखा पर्छ । पिसाबथैली अति क्रियाशील (Over Active ) हुनु पनि यो अवस्थाको एउटा कारण हो । यस अवस्थामा सम्पूर्ण पिसाब छ्वाल्लै चुहिने वा दुइ सामान्य पिसाब फेराइको बीचमा पटक-पटक गरेर केही मात्र पिसाब चुहिएर जाने हुन सक्छ । बढी उमेर भएका महिलामा पिसाब थैली अति क्रियाशील हुने समस्या बढी हुन्छ । व्यग्र र आतड्ढति मानसिकता हुने महिलाहरुमा पिसाब फेन प्रबल इच्छा सम्बन्धित मूत्र चुहावट देखिने सम्भावना झनै बढी हुन्छ । त्यसैले मानसिक रोग विषेशज्ञसँग पनि परामर्श गर्नुुपर्ने अवस्था आउन सक्छ । मस्तिष्कको रसायन बनावट र त्यसको मात्राले पनि पिसाब थैलीमा मूत्र संकलनमा बाधा पुर्याउन सक्ने भएकाले यसतर्फपनि उपचारका क्रममा ध्यान पुर्याउन जरुरी हुन्छ । मिश्रति पिसाब चुहिने रोग (Mixed Urinary Incontinence ) यो अवस्थामा महिलाको चापसँग सम्बन्धित र प्रबल इच्छासँग सम्बन्धित पिसाब चुहिने रोगको मिश्रति गुण र लक्षणहरु देखा पर्छन् । पिसाब चुहिने रोग भएका ३० देखि ४० प्रतिशत महिलामा मिश्रति पिसाब चुहिने कारण देखा पर्छ । त्यसैले यस्ता बिरामीहरु पिसाब चुहिँदा चापसँग सम्बन्धित र पिसाब फर्ेर्ने प्रबल इच्छासँग सम्बन्धित दुवै कुरासँग आफ्नो अवस्था भर परेको महसुस गर्छन् । तर सामान्य अवस्थामा पिसाब चुहिएकै भरमा कुन कारणले त्यसो हुन्छ, ठम्याउन गाह्रो पर्छ । पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थाको वास्तविक कारणबारे ठीकसँग जानकारी पाउन ँयुरोडाइनामिक्स’ को अध्ययन गर्नुपर्ने हुन्छ । त्यति हुँदाहुँदै पनि यो अवस्था केसँग बढी गाँसिएको छ, त्यसको ठोकुवा गर्न नसकिने हुन सक्छ । महिलामा देखिएको पिसाब चुहिने रोग मिश्रति कारणले हो भने यो अरु दुइ कारणले भन्दा बढी कडा हुन्छ । त्यसैले उनीहरु यो समस्याले अति दिक्क हुन्छन् र आफ्नो जीवनलाई गुणात्मक दृष्टिले उल्लेखनीय किसिमले कम स्तरको महसुस गर्छन् । तर यति हुँदाहुँदै पनि उपचारको हिसाबले यस्ता महिलाले कम वा बढी उपलब्धि पाउन सक्छन् भन्ने छैन । त्यसैले सबै उपचारका विधिहरुबाट उनीहरु पनि उत्तिकै फाइदा पाउन सक्छन् भनेर उपचार अपनाउनुपर्ने हुन सक्छ । महिलामा पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थाको जानकारी नै किन राख्नुपर्यो ? पिसाब चुहिने रोग धेरै महिलामा पाइने भएकाले यो समस्यालाई बेवास्ता गर्दा लाखौं नेपाली महिलाको स्वास्थ्य र सामाजिक स्थिति कमजोर हुन सक्छ । कति प्रतिशत नेपाली महिलाले पिसाब चुहिने रोगको पीडा भोगिरहेका छन् भन्ने तथ्यांक नभए पनि अन्तर्राष्ट्रिय तथ्यांकअनुसार विभिन्न देशमा झन्डै २५ देखि ५० प्रतिशतसम्म महिलामा पिसाब चुहिने समस्या हुने गरेको पाइन्छ । खास गरेर बढी उमेर भएका महिलाहरुमा यो समस्याको अनुपात धरै देखिन्छ । पिसाब चुहिने समस्यालाई बढाउने कारणमा कडा कसरत वा गाह्रो काम पनि हुन सक्छ । महिलाहरु कडा कसरत गर्दा वा दैनिक गाह्रो काम गर्दा पनि एक्कासि पिसाब चुहिएको महसुस गर्न सक्छन् । यस प्रकारको मूत्र चुहावट महिलाले कति बच्चा पाएकी छिन्, त्यसमा पनि भर पर्छ । बढी बच्चा पाउनेहरुमध्ये धेरैलाई यो समस्या भएको पाइन्छ । पिसाब चुहिनुमा महिनावारी सुक्नु पनि एउटा कारण हो । तर नारी हर्मोनको प्रयोगबाट पिसाब चुहिनुमा कमी भएको भने पुष्टि हुन सकेको छैन । पिसाब चुहिनुमा ठूलो असर पार्ने अरु कारणमध्ये महिलाको शरीरको तौल हो । शरीरको उचाइसँग मेल खाने तौल भएका महिलाहरुमा पिसाब चुहिने रोग कम हुन्छ । तर शरीरको तौल बढी भएकाहरुमा पेटभित्रको चाप बढी हुने भएकाले उनीहरु पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थाबाट बढी ग्रस्त हुन्छन् । शरीरको तौल जस्तो भए पनि शल्यक्रियाबाट पाठेघर निकालेका महिलाहरु पिसाब चुहिने समस्याबाट बढी ग्रस्त हुन्छन् । अझै पनि कतिपयले खासगरी बच्चा पाएपछि पिसाब चुहिनु सामान्य कुरा हो भनेर लिने गरेको पाइन्छ । यो समस्याले गर्दा आफूलाई घरभित्रै सीमित राख्ने र शंकोचका कारण नातेदारलाई भेट्नसमेत जान मन नगर्नेहरु पनि छन् । यो समस्यालाई उपचारबाट पूरै निको पार्न सकिन्छ भन्ने उनीहरु सोच्न पनि सक्दैनन् । पिसाब चुहिने समस्याको उपचार समान्यतया पिसाब चुहिने समस्याको समाधान हुन्छ । जटिल किसिमको समस्यामा पूर्ण उपचार हुन नसके पनि धेरै हदसम्म उपचार गर्न सकिन्छ । यो रोगको उपचार गर्दा रोगको कारण के हो, सोहीअनुसार उपचार विधि अपनाउनुपर्ने हुन्छ । चाप सम्बन्धित पिसाब चुहिने अवस्थाको उपचार प्रायः शल्यक्रियाबाट गरिन्छ । यो उपचारको मुख्य उद्देश्य पिसाब थैलीको घाँटीलाई उपयुक्त ठाउँमा राख्नु र क्रियाशील मूत्र निष्कासन नलीको लम्बाइ बढाउनु हो । शल्य विधि प्रायः सफल हुन्छ र बिरामीले तुरुन्त उपलब्धि अनुभव गर्न सक्छ । यो उपचारले पिसाब चुहिनेमा रोक लगाउनुको साथै महिलालाई योनि, पिसाब थैली, मूत्र निष्कासन नली र मलद्वारमाथिको मोटो आन्द्रा झरेको अवस्थाले ल्याएको असुविधाबाट पनि मुक्त गर्दछ । शारीरिक तौल बढी हुने महिलाहरुले जीवनशैलीमा सुधार ल्याउनु तथा तौल घटाउन अनिवार्य हुन्छ । पिसाब फेर्न प्रबल इच्छा सम्बन्धित मूत्र चुहावटको उपचारमा मुख्य भूमिका औषधोपचारको रहन्छ । पिसाब थैलीको मांसपेशी आकुपञ्चनरोधक औषधि (Antispasmodic), एसिटिलकोलिनबाट सक्रिय हुने वस्तु प्रतिकूल औषधि र (Anticholinergic) तीन चक्रीय आणविक संरचना भएको उदास पार्ने वस्तुविरुद्धको औषधि (Tricyclic antide- Prsssants )हरुको प्रयोगबाट धेरै महिलाहरु लाभान्वित हुन सक्छन् । वैकल्पिक चिकित्सा- आयर्ुर्वेद, योग इत्यादि पनि प्रयोग हुन सक्छ । मिश्रति पिसाब चुहिने रोगको उपचार पनि प्रायः मिश्रति नै हुन्छ । त्यसैले शल्यक्रियासँगै औषधि उपचारको प्रयोग आवश्यकता पर्ने गर्दछ । सामान्यतया मिश्रति कारणबाट पिसाब चुहिने बढी कडा रुपमा प्रस्तुत हुने गर्छ र उपचार पनि लामो हुन सक्छ । तर उपचारबाट शतप्रतिशत फाइदा नभए पनि जति प्रतिशत उपलब्धि भयो त्यसैलाई सकारात्मक दृष्टिले हर्ेन र ध्ैय लिन तयार हुनर्ुपर्छ । त्यसपछि फेरि अरु विधि र वैकल्पिक चिकित्साको खोज गररे बढी फाइदा पाउने प्रयत्न गर्नुपर्छ । Source: internet यौन गोप्यताको विषय होइन गाँस, बास, कपास, शिक्षा र स्वास्थ्य जस्तै यौन पनि मानिसको आधारभूत आवश्यकता हो । यौन बिना मानिस बाच्नै सक्दैन भन्ने त होइन तर यौन बिना मानिसको वंशज विकास भने हुन सक्दैन । मानिसको स्वास्थ, तन्दरुस्ती र तनाव रहित व्यवहार पनि यौनसँगै जोडिने विषयहरु हुन् । यौनप्रतिको उचित दृष्टिकोण, धारणा, बिश्लेषण र व्यवहारले मात्र समग्र विकास र सन्तुलनको निमित्त भूमिका खेल्ने भएकाले यसको चर्चा र बहस आजको वदलिदो समाज, राष्ट्र र विश्वको लागि आवश्यक छ । यौन गोप्यताको विषय होईन तर खुलेर बहस हुन सक्ने वातावरण हाम्रो जस्तो मुलुकमा अझै पनि बन्न सकेको छैन । यौनसम्बन्धि बहस र चर्चालाई छाडापनको रुपमा लिने हाम्रो समाजीक संस्कारले यौनको सहि विचार र व्यवहारको प्रयोगलाई संकुचित पार्ने काम गरेको छ । अझै पनि हाम्रा अविभावकहरु यौनको विषयमा हुने कुराकानी र चर्चालाई अश्लीलताको एक पाटोको रुपमा लिन्छन् । यौनप्रति आसक्त रहने आफ्नो व्यवहारको ठिक उल्टो आफ्ना सन्तानलाई यौनको विषयमा बसह गरेको नरुचाउने आम अविभावकहरुको चरित्रकै कारण पनि यौनको विषयमा जिज्ञासु रहेका कोशोर किशोरीहरु यौनको सहि विचार र व्यवहारको बारेमा बुझ्न असमर्थ हुन्छन्, जसको परिमाण स्वरुप उनीहरु असुरक्षित यौन व्यवहारतिर पनि उन्मुख हुन सक्छन् । त्यसैगरि यौनलाई नितान्न निजी र गोप्य मान्ने आम धारणाले गर्दा पनि यौन अपराध र यौन संक्रमणहरु बढीरहेका हुन् । विशेषगरि किशोरावस्थामा यौनको बारेमा बढी जान्ने, बुझ्ने र अनुभव बटुल्ने चाहना र इच्छाहरु हुन्छन् । यसैको कारण पनि विपरित लिङ्गीप्रतिको आकर्षण यो अवस्थामा अरु अवस्थामा भन्दा बढी हुने गरेको हो तर अपरिपक्वता र यौनको विषयमा रहेको आम धारणाको कारण सानै उमेरमा अथवा विवाह अगावै किशोर किशोरीहरुले यौनसर्म्पर्क राख्ने गरेको विभिन्न र्सर्वेक्षणहरुले देखाएका छन् र यस्ता यौन व्यवहारहरु भविष्यको योजना र यौनप्रतिको खास दृष्टिकोणबिना असुरक्षित तवरले प्राय हुने गरेका छन् । यसले देखाउछ की किशोर किशोरीहरु एचआईभी संक्रमणको उच्च जोखिममा छन् । अहिले विश्वमा चुनौतीको बिषय बनेको एचआईभी र एड्स यौनप्रतिको यस्तै संकुचित धारणाको परिणाम हो । हुन त यौनसर्म्पर्कबाट मात्रै एचआईभी संक्रमण हुने होइन तर पनि हालसालैको एचआईभी संक्रमणको तथ्याङ्क हेर्दा यौन सर्म्पर्कबाट संक्रमित हुनेको संख्या पनि अग्रस्थानमा छ । त्यसैले यौनको विषयमा खुलेआम बहस हुन नसक्ने हाम्रो जस्तो मूलुकको लागि यो झनै जोखिमको विषय हो । त्यसैले हामीले यौनको विषयमा बहस र चर्चा थाल्नु आवश्यक छ । सुरक्षित यौन व्यवहार के हो ? किन सानै उमेरमा यौनसर्म्पर्क राख्नु हुदैन ? यौनजन्य संक्रमण र एचआईभी संक्रमण के हो ? भन्ने बारेमा सबै प्रष्ट हुन आवश्यक छ र आम रुपमा यौनप्रति हेर्ने नकारात्मक दृष्टिकोणको पनि अन्त्य आवश्यक छ । जतिवेलै यौनप्रति आसक्त रहने तर अरुले यौनको विषयमा बहस गर्दा छाडाव्यवहार ठान्ने सामाजका नाटकीय पात्रहरुहरुलाई पनि यौनको विषयमा बुझाएरसँगै लगिए यौनकै आधारमा हुने अपराधिक घटनाहरु पनि नियन्त्रणमा आउन सक्छन् । सामान्यत, एक जनासँग मात्र यौनसर्म्पर्क राख्ने वा कण्डमको नियमित र उचित प्रयोग गरि यौनसम्पर्क राख्नुलाई सुरक्षित यौन सम्पर्क भनिन्छ तर यसमा उमेर र आपसी सहमतिलाई पनि ध्यान दिन आवश्यक छ । सानै उमेरमा गरिने यौन सम्पर्क स्वास्थ्य र शारीरिक तथा जनेन्द्रियहरुको विकासको लागि बाधाजनक मानिन्छ भने एक जनासँगै जवरजस्ती गरिने यौन सर्म्पर्कलाई करणी वा बलत्कारको रुपमा लिइन्छ । त्यसकारण सुरक्षित यौन व्यवहार भनेको उचित उमेर (सामान्यता २० बर्ष भन्दापछिको उमेर)र आपसी सहमतिमा एक जनासँग मात्रै वा कण्डमको नियमित र उचित प्रयोग गरि गरिने यौन सर्म्पर्कलाई मान्न सकिन्छ । यौनजन्य संक्रमण भनेको महिला तथा पुरुषका यौनअङ्गहरुमा हुने विभिन्न किसिमका संक्रमणहरु हुन्, जुन असुरक्षित यौनसर्म्पर्कको माध्यमबाट एकव्यक्तिबाट अर्को व्यक्तिमा र्सर्ने गर्दछ । एचआईभी संक्रमण भनेको मानिसको रोगप्रतिरोध क्षमता कमजोर पार्ने भाइरसको संक्रमण हो, जो यौनसर्म्पर्कको साथै, असुरक्षित रगतबाट र्सन सक्छ । Recent - How To Create A Bonsai Tree - लामा औँला भएकाहरु खतरनाक चालक - The Super-Slim New Laptop - Fish Robot to detect Pollution in the Ocean - तपाइँले थाहा नपाएका 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