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When One’s Home Is Happy, All Goes Well! Happiness Begins at Home Do you want to be successful? Then take good care of your family first. Those who have made their families harmonious are successful people. When people are asked what their family motto is, many people say, “When my home is happy, all goes well.” A family is the basis of society and the nation, and the starting point of one’s life. Therefore, it is a given that society can be strong and the nation stable when families are harmonious. Secret to a harmonious family Mr. Kim’s family always argues with each other; not even a day went by without arguments. One day, Mr. Kim tied his cow on a hill to feed him grass, but as the rein became loose, the cow ran around the whole field and ruined the crops. Mr. Kim managed to seize the cow, tied him in the stall, and yelled at his wife. “Did you feed fodder to the cow properly in the morning? Why did you make him hungry and go crazy?” When the husband scolded his wife, the wife took it out on her daughter-in-law, “What were you doing that you didn’t even see the cow going crazy while you were right by the well?” Then the daughter-in-law whose feelings got hurt blamed her husband, “Why did you leave the cow there until the rein became loose?” Then he complained to the father, “Father! If you had tied the cow tightly, none of this would have happened!” Like this, Mr. Kim’s family asked each other for responsibility and quarreled for quite a while. A few days later, the same thing happened to Mr. Lee’s family that is famous for being harmonious. When Mr. Lee’s family saw their cow whose rein became loose, they all ran out and seized the cow together. When Mr. Kim saw this, he thought, ‘There’ll be a big quarrel among them.’ But there was no quarrel at Mr. Lee’s house. Mr. Lee said, “I am sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have tied him more tightly,” but then his wife said, “No, no. It’s all my fault, because I didn’t feed him properly. That’s why the cow tried to make the rein loose,” but then the daughter-in-law said, “No, mother! It’s my fault because I didn’t notice that the cow was running around although I was right by the well,” but then the son said, “I forgot to move the cow when he was done eating the grass, so it’s my fault.” While everybody was blaming themselves, they all began to laugh. There is no family that has no problems. When there is a problem, if everybody says, “It is my fault,” it doesn’t become a quarrel. This is the secret to a harmonious family. When the family is harmonious When there is peace in your family, you can have will to do something, whether it is studying or working. In which situation do you think you can work more efficiently, when you leave home happy and go to work or when you leave home angry after having a big argument and go to work? In fact, a British professor, who studied the relationship between the conflicts with co-workers and the conflicts with family, announced the result of his research: People who have concerns about their family matters easily get irritated at work as they cannot focus on their work, and this causes a negative reaction of their co-workers, and when they go back home their conflicts with their spouses become worse. Home atmosphere has a big influence on people, especially on the kids and teenagers. According to the report of the Huffington Post, an American online news aggregator, the probability to be overweight or to have improper eating habits, or to eat unhealthy food, is lower for the kids and teenagers who eat with their families at least three times a week. Another research also shows that the mother’s sincere care makes the children’s immune system strong. It lowers the probability to get a disease as less protein that causes infection secretes. The children who grow up, seeing their mom and dad consider each other also have stronger mental stability. The children who have strong family bonds with their fathers are active and overcome their stress easily. It is very rare for a child in a happy family to become a troublemaker. Even if they do, they quickly turn their hearts. It’s because the children from happy families feel that they have a place to return to. The children from stable home atmosphere can study with a peaceful mind and their abilities of learning also increase. When the home fully functions as a comfortable nest, the children can have healthy lives both physically and mentally. The one who has succeeded in making a harmonious family is a successful person When people are asked what the most precious thing in the world is, most people say that it is the family. Most heads of the family, who are responsible for their families, say that it is for their families that they want to make a lot of money. However, there are people who only focus on their work, saying that it is for the happiness of their families; and there are people who say that they have no time for their families and that they will spend time with their children when they become successful. However, those people are overlooking one thing that they can never bring the time back once it passes. Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart who was one of the richest people in the world, said that he lived his life in vain. As he was always busy with his business, he didn’t have time to look after his family, and he couldn’t remember at least half of his grandchildren’s names. Can we say that he was a truly successful man? It is not easy to catch two hares—work and family—at the same time. If you refuse to join a gathering with your co-workers because your family is waiting for you, your co-workers won’t be happy about that, and it is not easy to ask your boss to let you leave every time your child is sick. This is reality. What is important is not to forget that the family comes before anything else. When you are in an unavoidable situation where you can’t take care of your family, you have to ask them to excuse you, and you have to express your love constantly. If your family is not happy, what good is your success in society? Even if you become successful and make a lot of money, you’ll feel empty if you don’t have your family with you who can smile with you and share heartwarming conversations with you. If you have a thought that it is okay that your family is sacrificed for the growth of your company and for your success, then change your thought. When you have your family members who welcome you when you come back from the tiring day at work, you are a happy and successful person. A survey asked 6,946 elementary school students in Korea what the most necessary thing for happiness is, and 43.6% of them chose “a harmonious family.” When the family is harmonious, happiness follows. Reminding ourselves of the meaning of the saying, “All goes well when one’s home is harmonious,” let us cherish and love our families all the more. Then all our wishes will come true.
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घर खुशी हुँदा सबै ठीक हुन्छ ! खुशीको सुरुवात घरबाटै के तपाईं सफल हुन चाहनुहुन्छ ? त्यसोभए पहिला आफ्नो परिवारको राम्ररी हेरचाह गर्नुहोस् । आफ्नो परिवारलाई मिलापमा राख्नेहरू नै सफल मानिसहरू हुन् । मानिसहरूलाई तिनीहरूको परिवारको आदर्श वाक्य के हो भनेर सोध्दा प्रायःले “घर खुशी हुँदा सबै ठीक हुन्छ” भने । परिवार मिलापमा रह्यो भने सबै कुरा राम्रो हुनेछ भन्ने अर्थ हो । परिवारचाहिँ समाज र देशको आधार हो, जीवनको सुरुवाती बिन्दु हो । त्यसकारण परिवार मिलापमा रहेमा समाज बलियो र देश स्थिर हुन्छ भनिएको हो । मिलापी परिवारको रहस्य वीरको परिवारमा सधैँ झगडा हुन्छ, झगडा नगरेको त एक दिन पनि छैन । एकदिन वीरले गाईलाई पहाडमा चराउन कतै बाँधेछन्, तर दाम्लो खुकुलो भएकोले गाईले पूरै खेत दौडेर बालीनाली नाश गरेछ । तिनले गाईलाई समातेर गोठमा बाँधेपछि पत्नीलाई हकार्छन्, “हैन तिमीले बिहान गाईलाई राम्ररी घाँस दिइनौ ? किन त्यसलाई भोकै राखेर यसलाई बौलाउने गरायौ ?” पतिबाट गाली पाएकी पत्नीले त्यो रिस बुहारीमाथि पोख्छिन्,“तिमी इनार छेवैमा भएर पनि गाई बौलाएको नदेख्नेसम्म के गरिरहेकी थियौ ?” त्यसपछि चित्त दुखाउँदै बुहारीले आफ्ना पतिलाई “दाम्लो नै खुकुलो होउञ्जेल तपाईंले किन गाईलाई त्यहाँ छोड्नुभएको ?” भन्छिन् । तब तिनले बुबालाई “तपाईंले गाईलाई कसेर बाँध्नुभएको भए यो सब हुनेथिएन” भनेर गुनासो पोखेछन् । यसरी वीरको परिवारले एक-अर्कालाई त्यसको जिम्मेवार ठहराउँदै केही समयसम्म झगडा गरिरहे । केही दिनपछि मिलापी परिवारको रूपमा प्रख्यात रहेको विक्रमको परिवारमा पनि उस्तै घटना घट्यो । विक्रमको परिवारजनले दाम्लो खुकुलो भएको गाईलाई देख्नासाथ उनीहरू सबै जना दौडेर एकसाथ गई त्यसलाई पक्रे । त्यो देखेका वीरले, अब उनीहरूबीच पनि ठूलै झगडा हुनेभयो भनेर सोचेका थिए । तर विक्रमको घरमा झगडा नै भएन । उल्टै विक्रमले “माफ गर, सबै मेरो गल्ती हो । मैले त्यसलाई अलि कसेर बाँध्नुपर्थ्यो” भने । तब पत्नीले “होइन नि, मेरो गल्ती हो । किनकि मैले गाईलाई राम्ररी घाँस नदिएकीले त्यो दाम्लो खुकुलो पार्नतिर लाग्यो” भन्दै आफ्नो गल्ती स्वीकारिन् । तर बुहारीले भनिन्, “होइन, आमा ! गल्ती मेरो हो, किनकि इनारको छेउमै भएर पनि मैले गाई दौडेको याद गरिनँ ।” यता छोराले भने, “गाईले खाइसकेपछि मैले त्यसलाई डुलाउन बिर्सेछु, गल्ती मेरो हो ।” यसरी सबैले आफैलाई त्यसको जिम्मेवार ठान्दा उनीहरू सबैमाझ हाँसो छायो । यो संसारमा समस्या नभएको परिवार कहीँ छैन । समस्या हुँदा सबैले “मेरो गल्ती हो” भनेता कुनै झगडा नै हुँदैन । यो नै मिलापी परिवारको रहस्य हो । परिवार मिलापमा रहँदा यदि परिवारमा शान्ति छ भने पढाइ होस् अथवा काम, जे गर्दा पनि त्यसमा रुची लाग्छ । आनन्दसाथ घरबाट छुटेर काममा जाँदा कुशलतापूर्वक काम गर्न सकिन्छ कि अथवा घरपरिवारसँग ठूलो झगडा गरेर घरबाट रिसाउँदै निस्कँदा कुशलतापूर्वक काम गर्न सकिन्छ ? वास्तवमा सहकर्मीहरूसँगको झगडा र परिवारसँगको झगडाको बारेमा अध्ययन गरेका एक जना बेलायती प्राध्यापकले आफ्नो अनुसन्धानको परिणाम सुनाएका थिए । घरायसी मामिलाको बढी चिन्ता गर्ने मानिसहरू काममा सजिलै दिक्क मान्न पुग्छन् । कारण उनीहरू काममा ध्यान दिन सक्दैनन्, र त्यसले सहकर्मीहरूमा पनि नकारात्मक प्रभाव पर्छ, अनि घर फर्कंदाखेरि पत्नीसँगको उनीहरूको झगडाले झन् खराब रूप लिन्छ । घरको वातावरणले मानिसमा, विशेष गरी बच्चा र युवाहरूमा ठूलो प्रभाव पार्छ । एक अमेरिकी अनलाइन समाचार स्रोत हफिङटन पोस्टको रिपोर्टअनुसार हप्तामा ३ पटक आफ्नो परिवारसँग खाना खाने बच्चा तथा किशोर-किशोरीमा तौल वृद्धि हुने सम्भावनाको साथै असन्तुलित खाना खाने बानी अथवा अस्वस्थ खाना खाने बानीको सम्भावना कम हुने गरेको पाइयो । अर्को अनुसन्धानले पनि आमाको साँचो स्याहारले बच्चाहरूमा प्रतिरक्षा प्रणाली प्रबल हुने गरेको कुरा देखायो । प्रोटिनको कमीले संक्रमण स्राव हुने हुँदा प्रबल प्रतिरक्षा प्रणालीका कारण रोग लाग्ने सम्भावना कम हुन्छ । आफ्ना बुबा र आमालाई हेर्दै हुर्केका बच्चाहरूले आफूमा पनि बलियो मानसिक स्थिरता छ भन्ठान्छन् । बुबासँग बलियो पारिवारिक सम्बन्ध भएका बच्चाहरू फूर्तिला र तनावलाई सजिलै जित्ने हुन्छन् । खुशी परिवारमा बच्चा उपद्रवी हुने सम्भावना न्यून हुन्छ । केही गरी उपद्रव गरिहाले भने पनि तिनीहरूले तुरुन्त मन फर्काउँछन्, किनभने खुशी परिवारका बच्चाहरूले आफू फर्किनुपर्ने ठाउँ छ भनेर महसुस गर्छन् । स्थिर घरेलु वातावरणमा हुर्केका बच्चाहरू शान्त मनले पढाइ गर्न सक्छन्, तिनीहरूमा सिक्ने क्षमताको पनि विकास हुन्छ । यसरी घर आरामदायक गुँडको रूपमा सञ्चालन हुँदा बच्चाहरूले शारीरिक र आत्मिक दुवै रूपमा स्वस्थ जीवन पाउन सक्छन् । मिलापी परिवार बनाउन सफल हुने मानिस नै सफल मानिस हो । संसारमा सबैभन्दा अमूल्य कुरा के हो भनेर सोध्दा प्रायः मानिसहरूले परिवार हो भन्छन् । परिवारको जिम्मेवार भएका अधिकांश परिवार प्रमुखहरू भन्छन्, कि तिनीहरूले धेरै कमाउन चाहेको चाहिँ परिवारकै लागि हो । तर परिवारकै खुशीको लागि हो भन्दै काममा मात्र बढी ध्यान दिनेहरू पनि हुन्छन् । परिवारको लागि समय छैन, पछि सफलता हासिल गरेपछि बल्ल आफ्ना बच्चाहरूसँग समय बिताउनेछु भन्नेहरू पनि हुन्छन् । त्यसो भन्ने मानिसहरूले बितेको समयलाई कहिल्यै फर्काउन सकिँदैन भन्ने कुरालाई बेवास्ता गरिरहेका छन् । संसारका सर्वाधिक धनीहरूको सूचीमा पर्ने, वाल्मार्टका संस्थापक साम वाल्टनले आफूले जीवन व्यर्थैमा खेर फालेको कुरा बताएका थिए । तिनी सधैँ काममा व्यस्त भएकाले परिवारलाई हेर्ने समय थिएन, यहाँसम्म कि तिनलाई तिनका आधा जति नाति-नातिनाहरूको नाउँसमेत याद छैन । के साँच्चै तिनलाई सफल मानिस भन्न मिल्छ त ? एकै समयमा दुई वटा खरायोलाई पक्रनु सजिलो छैन । काम र परिवार पनि यस्तै नै हो । परिवारले पर्खिरहेको छ भन्दै सहकर्मीहरूसँगको जमघटमा सहभागी भइएन भने सहकर्मीहरू दुःखित हुनेछन् । अनि बच्चा बिरामी हुँदैपिच्छे हाकिमलाई छुट्टी माग्न पनि अप्ठ्यारो कुरा हो । यो नै तीतो यथार्थता हो । अरूभन्दा परिवार पहिला आउँछ भन्ने कुरालाई नबिर्सनुचाहिँ महत्त्वपूर्ण हो । आफ्नो परिवारलाई समय दिन नसकिने, इन्कार गर्न नमिल्ने जटिल अवस्था आइपरेमा परिवारजनसित माफी माग्दै निरन्तर प्रेम व्यक्त गर्नुपर्छ । यदि तपाईंको परिवार खुशी छैन भने समाजमा तपाईंको सफलताको के लाभ रह्यो र ? समाजमा सफल मानिस भएर मनग्गे धन कमाए तापनि यदि सँगै हाँस्ने र हृदयविदारक कुराकानी बाँड्न सकिने परिवार साथमा छैन भने शून्य लाग्नेछ । आफ्नो कम्पनीको वृद्धि वा सफलताको निम्ति बरु परिवारलाई त्याग्नु ठीक छ भन्ने सोचाइ छ भने त्यो सोचाइ परिवर्तन गर्नुहोस् । कामबाट थकित भएर घर फर्कंदा, आफूलाई स्वागत गर्ने परिवार छ भने तपाईं खुशी र सफल व्यक्ति हुनुहुन्छ । एउटा सर्वेक्षणले कोरियाको कुनै प्राथमिक तहका ६,९४६ जना विद्यार्थीहरूलाई खुशीको निम्ति सबैभन्दा आवश्यक पर्ने कुरा के हो भनेर सोध्दा तिनीहरूमध्ये ४३.६%ले ‘मिलापी परिवार’लाई छाने । परिवारमा मिलाप छ भने खुशी आफै आउँछ । “घर मिलापी हुँदा सबै कुरा ठीक हुन्छ” भन्ने भनाइको अर्थलाई मनन गर्दै हामीहरू आफ्नो परिवारलाई अझ प्रेम र खुशी दिऔं । तब हाम्रा सम्पूर्ण चाहनाहरू पूरा हुनेछ ।