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Понякога научаваш разликата, почти незабележимата разлика между държането за ръце и оковаването на душата. Научаваш, че любовта не е тенденция, а компанията не означава сигурност. Научаваш, че целувките не са договори, а подаръците не са обещания. Научаваш, че дори слънцето изгаря, ако прекалиш с него. Научаваш, че без значение на теб колко ти пука, на някои хора въобще не им пука. Научаваш, че някои неща не могат да бъдат променени, а опитите да се променят са болезнена грешка. Научаваш, че червените флагчета винаги отбелязват пътеката, която води към същия погрешен избор. Научаваш, че всеки може да те нарани, дори и да не го е желал. Научаваш, че можеш да нараниш някого, дори и да не си го желал. Научаваш, че усещането от това да простиш на някого е също толкова хубаво, колкото когато някой прости на теб. Научаваш, че хората са просто хора и приемаш себе си като един от тях. Научаваш, че без значение на колко парченца е било разбито сърцето ти и колко време ти е отнело да го излекуваш, някой или нещо вероятно ще го разбие отново. И тогава започваш да приемаш пораженията си с високо вдигната глава и с широко отворени очи, с гордостта на истински джентълмен, а не като претърпяло неуспех дете. Малко по-късно осъзнаваш, че е по-добре да направиш плановете за бъдещето си днес, защото утрешният ден е твърде несигурен за каквито и да било планове. И накрая решаваш да засадиш и отгледаш своя собствена градина, за да украсяваш с цветята й душата си, вместо да очакваш някой да ти носи цветя наготово. И чак тогава разбираш, че наистина можеш да устоиш на всичко, че наистина си силен, и че наистина имаш достоинство. И научаваш, и научаваш, и научаваш… с всяко следващо СБОГОМ научаваш, че…
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After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much so you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure you really are strong you really do have worth and you learn and you learn with every goodbye, you learn... Then After "after a while" you change and build your hopes again. And pray that maybe this time it will be different And you hold on to that hope because in the end that's all you really have.. AFTER "AFTER A WHILE" After 'after a while' You want to hold a hand not to chain a soul but to enjoy its company, and you want someone's lips to kiss, not because you are lonely but because you are happy, and you want to give presents and you want to make promises. After 'after a while' You begin to accept your defeats like an adult, but like a child, will want someone to listen and care, and you want someone who will build roads with you today so maybe you can pave the way for your future together. After 'after a while' You want someone's sunshine and warmth, but also accept the rain and the cold, and you want to give flowers picked from your own garden. And when your garden is picture perfect, you want it to be more than a picture even if it means having to be imperfect because you want someone in it to stay and to live. Then you'll see that there is such a thing as love... and that you were made to live in someone else's garden... and you'll know that there is more to life than yourself. AND NOW... You realize that no matter how tightly you hold, if you're meant to let go, you can And then you will understand that love gives you reasons to understand even the most complicated situations And you will grow older believing that just because you have convictions doesn't mean you're always right You will remember lips because of the smiles that made your day, the words that touched your soul, not only because of the sweet kisses And as you graciously accept defeat and absorb the meaning of lessons learned, You feel that you are finally being the person you never thought you'd be So, armed with courage, strength and confidence, you will face the world head on... With or without an army behind you Because you know your worth and that alone is an armor With more heartbreaks you will cry But after every heartache, you will rise Life is a garden ... it takes long to make it beautifulBut it's always worth the wait.. Yesterday perry told me how he keep posting unbelievably happy pictures on instagram, she asked me if i wanted to see. I said no, not because i'd get jealous but i realized that's what i had prayed for so hard once. I wanted him happy with or without me. I was a tiny fraction of his life easily forgotten. But i'll never forget him, i still have lots of angst but now that i'm older and wiser i guess it's safe to say that i'm no longer waiting for him to come back and save me. Maybe i'm my savior after all. He will marry, have kids. I may marry i might have kids, o i may not. I may never truly forget him, after all he was my one true love, or i might not even remember his name. After all this time, i'm stronger. And i'm proud of myself for loving truly.