http___www.worldmomsblog.com_2014_04_04_how-many-moms-to-raise-child__lang_ga_1.xml
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Euge, Lorem ipsum dolor sit ... ut, Arbitratus sum quatuor,. Primus, Est robot mom. In eo quod sursum est auto gubernatorem XXV horas a die,, munia, ut pre-programmed facere: ipsum dolor, RUCTO eum, change his diaper, rock him to sleep for an hour. She repeats these tasks in a different order all day long. Robot mom yawns all the time, does not shower every day, only wears PJs and looks like a zombie. Her conversations are very predictable, usually about substances coming out of the baby’s body. Robot mom runs on batteries. They are rechargeable with anxiety. That’s why she does not fall asleep standing up; she is too busy worrying about the color of baby’s poop, or projectile vomiting. Yet again, it always comes down to something smelly firing out of that tiny little bundle. After about six months, anxiety does not recharge the batteries anymore. More, the baby is exhausted as well from all the throwing up, pooping and screaming, so he starts to sleep a little. It’s time for mom number two to kick in: insecure mom. Insecure mom deals with babies that sleep-ish up to eight year olds. She has no clue what she is doing, and is constantly reminded by her friends and family members. “You shouldn’t give him carrots at his age”, “Does she still wear diapers?", “He is a bit small”, “How many? Only two teeth are out? That’s strange”, “Your daughter looks funny with so little hair”, “What do you mean he does not know how to read?!!” And so on. Insecure mom is at her best with her first child. By the time her second child comes along, she has learned to tell everybody to bugger off. She has realized that past the age of five, kids do go to the toilet, so who cares whether it happens at two, three or four? She has accepted that she cannot stretch her child to grow bigger, that there are no medicines to grow teeth, and that nobody wants to do hair implants on toddlers so yeah, quicquid… Insecure mom feels guilty about everything. Guilty for the things she does wrong, like losing the plot occasionally, using TV to get a few minutes of peace, being caught saying “What the f@*&!” by her four year old, who then seems to only remember THAT word (never happened to me!!!) Guilty for the things she does right, like punishing the kids for being rude, using a firm tone when they spit their food back in their plate, and generally for being firm but fair. And guilty for anything in between. After a few years of not trusting herself, insecure mom realizes that her kids are growing up to be fine, well adjusted and happy children. So she turns into cool mom! Cool mom is going to enjoy a few years of honeymoon. The kids are big enough to understand rules and respect. They can express themselves clearly, so unless they run to you screaming, there is really no need to panic. If you don’t hear them, they are likely being mischievous, but they have learned the difference between stuff that they cannot do that are a big NO-NO (like drawing on the walls with markers) and the stuff they cannot do but, “Meh!" (like playing video games with the volume off so you won’t know). They give you priceless, magical moments where they tell you about their friends, their views on life. Nothing is more enjoyable than this complicity between you and them. They think you totally rock, although please don’t try to hug them in front of others! Lorem ipsum! Because this mom does not stay for long. Postquam, the kids become teenagers. Everything you thought you knew about them is just gone. Woosh!!! You have to start from scratch. The only part you don’t have to repeat is potty training. Aliter, you will have to deal with tantrums and other toddler-like behaviors: not sharing their phone with their siblings, et noluit comedere, slamming doors, boyfriend / girlfriend issues (I am not sure about teenagers, but toddlers have a lot of boyfriend / Lorem ipsum drama geruntur,!). Nisi, aut eos non potes turris e speculis ut eos, cum te, et discerno macri vox est. Dico, Fiat faciem eam, statura sunt pes tu ... Sic tamen ut cop-mom: leges statuunt, haereat ad regulas. Et propter hoc ascendit! Vel maybe remota mom: moventur in desertam haberet insulam, cum etiam homines sint, dum filios alienos. Non est mihi sensus, Sed tantum iter ingressum phase tribus mea mater,. Ut tempus per quattuor vultus parum FORMIDULOSUS. Sed sicut in robot, sollicita et frigus moms, omnes nos curo, cum illuc. Eo die ad finem, ut pro viribus. Optimus ille est, et nos possumus! Sicut tu vis, eleifend sollicitudin,, vel ad Milestones, Suspendisse in itinere,? Quid factum est, mihi similis vel diversa? Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, ut primo Mundus Moms Blog per Novum Nadege. Ipsa New Jersey in perpetuum vivit in Gallia natus sed eius familia. Qui scribit cotidie blog Nadege eget lacinia reqnum ridet. Non potest esse in Twitter, Facebook et ipsum www.nadegenicoll.com Quisque sentit, ut Novum Jake, auctoris filii.
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Bhuel, ligean ar a fheiceáil ... go dtí seo, Mé chomhaireamh ceithre. Chéad, tá robot mam. Tá sí ar píolótach uathoibríoch toisc go bhfuil sí suas fiche dó uair an chloig in aghaidh an lae, ag déanamh tascanna réamh-cláraithe, mar shampla: leanbh beatha, burp dó, athrú a diaper, carraig air a chodladh ar feadh uair an chloig. Repeats sí na cúraimí in ord difriúil gach lá ar fad. Yawns robot mam go léir an t-am, Ní cithfholcadh gach lá, ach wears pjs agus tá sé cosúil le zombie. Tá a cuid comhráite an-intuartha, de ghnáth faoi substaintí ag teacht amach as an leanbh chorp. Ritheann robot mam ar cadhnraí. Tá siad rechargeable leis an imní. Sin an fáth nach bhfuil sí ag titim ina chodladh seasamh suas; Tá sí ró-ghnóthach a bheith buartha faoi an dath bhabaí lem, nó urlacan projectile. Ach arís, Tagann sé i gcónaí síos go dtí rud éigin smelly lámhaigh amach as an bundle beag bídeach. Tar éis thart ar shé mhí, Ní imní recharge na cadhnraí níos mó. Níos mó, Is é an leanbh ídithe chomh maith ó na caitheamh suas, pooping agus screadaíl, mar sin a thosaíonn sé a chodladh beagán. Tá sé am chun dhá uimhir mam chun tús i: mam neamhchinnte. Déileálann mam neamhchinnte le leanaí go codlata-ish suas le ocht mbliana d'aois. Tá sí aon leid cad atá á dhéanamh aici, agus tá sé i gcuimhne i gcónaí ag a cairde agus baill teaghlaigh. "Níor chóir duit a thabhairt dó cairéid ag a aois", "An bhfuil a chaitheamh sí fós diapers?", "Tá sé le beagán beag", "Cé mhéad? Níl ach dhá fiacla amach? Sin aisteach ", "Breathnaíonn Do iníon greannmhar le gruaig sin beag", "Cad a dhéanann tú chiallaíonn nach bhfuil sé a fhios conas a léamh?!!"Agus mar sin de. Is é mam neamhchinnte ar a is fearr lena chéad leanbh. Faoin am a thagann an dara leanbh chomh maith, Tá d'fhoghlaim sí a insint do gach duine a bugger amach. Tá sí ag realized go anuas cúig bliana d'aois, páistí ná téigh go dtí an leithreas, mar sin a cares cé acu a tharlaíonn sé ag dhá, trí nó ceithre? Tá sí ag glacadh leis nach féidir léi stráice a leanbh ag fás níos mó, nach bhfuil aon leigheasanna chun fiacla ag fás, agus ba mhaith le duine ar bith a dhéanamh implants gruaige ar leanaí óga mar sin yera yeah, cibé… Mothaíonn mam neamhshláin ciontach faoi gach rud. Ciontach do na rudaí a dhéanann sí mícheart, mar a chailliúint an plota ó am go chéile, úsáid a bhaint as an teilifís a fháil cúpla nóiméad na síochána, a bheith gafa ag rá "Cad é an f @ *&!"Ag a ceithre bliana d'aois, atá cosúil ansin cuimhneamh ach GO focal (riamh a tharla dom!!!) Ciontach do na rudaí a dhéanann sí ceart, cosúil phionósú na páistí as a bheith drochbhéasach, ag baint úsáide as ton daingean nuair a spit siad a gcuid bia ar ais i n-pláta, agus go ginearálta a bheith seasmhach agus cóir. Agus ciontach as aon rud idir eatarthu. Tar éis cúpla bliain de gan trusting féin, Tuigeann mam neamhchinnte go bhfuil a cuid páistí ag fás suas le bheith fíneáil, leanaí go maith agus sona choigeartú. Mar sin, casadh sí isteach mam fionnuar! Tá Cool mam ag dul chun taitneamh a bhaint le cúpla bliain de mhí na meala. Is iad na páistí mór go leor chun rialacha agus meas a thuiscint. Is féidir leo iad féin a chur in iúl go soiléir, amhlaidh mura ritheann siad a screadaíl tú, níl i ndáiríre níl aon ghá le scaoll. Mura bhfuil tú ag éisteacht leo, siad gur dócha mischievous, ach tá siad d'fhoghlaim an difríocht idir rudaí nach féidir leo a dhéanamh go bhfuil mór NÍL NÍL- (cosúil tarraingt ar na ballaí le marcóirí) agus an stuif nach féidir leo a dhéanamh ach, "Meh!" (cosúil le imirt cluichí físeáin leis an toirt amach mar sin ní bheidh a fhios agat). Tugann siad duit priceless, chuimhneacháin draíochta nuair a insíonn siad duit faoina gcairde, a dtuairimí ar an saol. Ní dhéanfaidh aon ní Tá níos taitneamhaí ná an complicity idir tú féin agus iad. Cheapann siad tú carraig go hiomlán, cé thoil nach iarracht a barróg orthu i os comhair daoine eile! Bain sult as! Toisc nach bhfuil an mam fanacht ar feadh i bhfad. Tar éis sin, bheith ar na páistí déagóirí. Tá gach rud a cheap tú a fhios agat mar gheall orthu díreach imithe. Woosh!!! Tá tú chun tús a chur as an nua. Tá an chuid ach ní gá duit a athdhéanamh oiliúint potty. Eile ná go, Beidh tú ag déileáil le tantrums agus tachrán-mhaith iompraíochtaí eile: Ní roinnt a gcuid fón lena siblíní, diúltú a ithe, doirse slamming, buachaill / saincheisteanna chailín (Níl mé cinnte faoi dhéagóirí, ach tá mamailínigh a lán de bhuachaill / drámaíocht chailín ag dul ar!). Ach amháin, Ní féidir leat iad a chur i am amach nó túr os a gcionn le do ghuth grumpy agus do chuardach-mhaith-a-chiallaíonn sé-. Ciallaíonn mé, ligean ar aghaidh é, go bhfuil siad níos airde scór ná go bhfuil tú ... Mar sin, caithfidh tú a bheith cop-mam: na dlíthe a leagan síos, cloí leis na rialacha. Agus glaoch ar ais ar bun! Nó b'fhéidir mam iargúlta: bogadh chuig oileán tréigthe le do leanaí eachtrannach go dtí go mbíonn siad daoine arís. Tá mé aon clue, Tá mé ag dul isteach ach céim trí cinn de mo thuras mháithreachais. Sin an fáth a Breathnaíonn chéim ceithre beag scary. Ach cosúil le robot, moms imníoch agus cool, beidh muid a bhainistiú go léir nuair a fhaigheann muid ann. Mar gheall ar an deireadh an lae, déanfaimid iarracht ár gcuid is fearr. Agus sin an chuid is fearr is féidir linn a dhéanamh! An mbraitheann tú mar tá tú chun cinn, nó garspriocanna bainte amach, i do thuras tuismitheoireachta? Conas a bhí sé cosúil nó difriúil le mianach? Is é seo an bpost bunaidh a Moms Domhanda Blag ag Nadege Nicoll. Sí was born in France but now lives permanently in New Jersey with her family. Nadege scríobhann chomh maith le blag laethúil do moms a bhfuil gá acu a aoibh gháire ar an saol laethúil. Féidir léi a fháil ar Twitter, Facebook agus ar a láithreán gréasáin www.nadegenicoll.com Drawing credits to Jake Nicoll, the author’s son.