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Posted by Hannah Rae on Dec 17, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house The Stubborn house has a new member. Thursday afternoon a worker from our agency called and said “I know you and [Hubby] wanted to take a break…” “But?” “But there’s a baby girl who needs a home. Would you be willing?” After a short discussion of the few details she knew, which wasn’t much, I told her the answer would most likely be “yes”, but I had to check with Hubby. So I did. The answer was yes. Baby A arrived at 2 o’clock Friday afternoon. She’s so tiny! She’s less than 3 weeks old, so much more “newborn” ish than Baby E was. She’s had a rough start as another victim of the ever popular “white r*sh” epidemic. She is so spastic and rigid that I couldn’t even straighten her arm to get her gown on. She’s not on phenob*rb like Baby E was, so I’m going to talk to our pediatrician about that when I take her in ASAP next week. It’s definitely a challenge with two infants who both need attention, often at the same times. Baby E heard me get up with Baby A at 5:30 this morning and decided that she wanted to join the party, so I sat her on the floor with a toy while I made two bottles (thankfully they use the same formula!), and then I held Baby A on my lap and had Baby E next to me lying on a pillow holding her bottle by herself. It’s so amazing to see the size and developmental differences between the two girls. Baby E is practically a toddler compared to the itsy bitsy Baby A. She is just so little. Anywho, my brain is sleep deprived and I am having trouble making sense, so since both babes are sleeping at the moment, I am going to head to bed. I will write more details very soon…maybe even tonight if someone gets rambunctious. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, Bitty Babe, Bright Eyes, foster care, the hard stuff, The SAHM Adventure Posted by Hannah Rae on Dec 12, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house It’s really started. Baby E is starting to transition to her new home. Her new family. I can type those things, but the words get stuck in my throat and I avoid them at all cost. I caught myself avoiding calling Miss C. Mom or Mama. I didn’t want to say it, because saying it would get me a little closer to the reality that I am never going to be that to this precious baby girl. Now, if you remember when we brought Baby E home we decided to refer to ourselves as Äiti and Isä, the Finnish words for Mom and Dad. This was mainly for Jeremiah’s benefit; later on we thought we were just being trendy and different, but we soon found out that it also was a way that we were attempting to protect our hearts. A disassociation barrier of sorts. I can still sort of pretend that I am just taking her to a babysitter. I might have to for a while, otherwise I just get too angry. Hubby will be going with me Wednesday when I go to pick her up. I hope this will help give him some peace. He’s really been struggling with this. The fact that she came home smelling like someone else’s house tonight just drove him nuts. No one is good enough for his little girl, and in his heart these people are taking her away from us. It’s so hard. I guess I feel that way too sometimes, but I can’t let myself go there. I have to fake being okay with this, otherwise I’m going to be more crushed than I already am. It’s hard because I really like this family. They are wonderful. They’re sweet, and gentle, and super helpful. They’re patient with us and they know how much we are hurting…well, as much as they could know. They love Jesus and will raise her up right. But they are not us. She is not the woman who rocked E for hours when E couldn’t stop screaming from the pain of the m*th withdrawals. He is not the man who stayed up till 3 AM because E decided she was hungry right before he was going to bed. She is not the woman who worked so meticulously on all the exercises the physical therapist prescribed, despite E’s fussing and crying because her legs and hips were just too tight. He is not the man who snuggled with E in his big chair reading books, because that would be “their thing”. They’re just not us. And we have to deal with the fact that although we are so blessed to know that we gave her a great start, and that she knows what love and security feels like because of us, she will not remember all those things above. She won’t remember my silly songs or Hubby’s silly voices. Unless we actively stay in her life, she won’t even remember our faces. That stabs me right in the mama heart. So this is my sacrifice? This is laying myself down? This is putting her above me? And I’m not even being asked to slit her throat. (That’s an Isaac reference BTW.) And now to quote Mother Therese…sort of… Lord, you told me you won’t give me more than I can handle, but right now I wish you didn’t trust me so much. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being Real, Being set apart, Bright Eyes, foster care, the hard stuff Posted by Hannah Rae on Dec 11, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house What is a woman supposed to do… When she is losing a baby birthed from her heart? When the feelings of inadequacy and emptiness that come with infertility have come back full force, and immeasurably stronger than before because now she knows what she’s missing? When she prayed harder than she’s ever prayed before and the answer is still “no”? When she is having a hard time trusting her Heavenly Father with her heart because it just hurts too much, and she is afraid? When going to church breaks her heart because of all the babies EVERYWHERE? When all she wants to be is someone’s Mommy? She waits. She waits to see what new adventure is around the corner. She waits and listens and holds onto hope as hard as she can, even when holding onto hope makes it so hard to breathe. And she worships. Especially when it’s hard, because that’s when it really matters. And she cries to her friends when she needs to, because some of them really get it, and the ones that don’t choose to love her all the same. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, faith, infertility, the hard stuff Posted by Hannah Rae on Dec 10, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house , Memories I love the stories behind how traditions are formed. Growing up we had a lot of Christmas traditions, and as a kid I took them as a given. It wasn’t until later that I found out the simple reasons that formed those traditions. For example, we always open all of our presents on Christmas Eve, so obviously we weren’t a Santa Claus kind of family. It wasn’t that our parents didn’t allow us to believe in the magic of Santa, it just was not taught or emphasized. I asked my parents about this later and they said that they didn’t want to teach us that Santa was real, and then turn around and teach us that Jesus was real, because one really is, and really loves us, and really wants a relationship with us, and the other is a legend who has become a symbol of a lot of things, and some of those things are not worth teaching your children (i.e. commercialism, and being good to get stuff.) Christ was the center of our household growing up, especially at Christmas. Being a pastor’s kid meant late night services Christmas Eve, but that didn’t stop us from having our own little Christmas pageant before we opened our gifts. We’d get all dressed up and act out the story as Mom read from Luke and Dad videotaped. When we were very young David and Sarah played Mary and Joseph, I was usually the angel of the Lord (fitting, right?) , and Rachel was baby Jesus. One of my favorite Christmas memories is a video we have of Rachel at about 16 months old in a laundry basket manger. She would just not stay in! So Sarah kept pushing her down and Rachel kept standing right back up, smiling up a storm. When Rachel was too old to be baby Jesus any more, her role was changed to a shepherd and a cabbage patch kid replaced her as the Holy child. Christmas Eve dinner was fondue! I guess my parents got a few fondue pots as wedding presents or something, and it was a fun way to do dinner with four kids. We had a spread of all kinds of fruit to dip in chocolate, yummy bread to dip in hot cheese, and good ole’ red meat (venison or beef steak) to fry in oil. Yes, our parents apparently trusted us enough to allow us to fry our own meat, although I’m not sure when that started. Anywho, another reason we opened our presents Christmas Eve, I found out later, is because we would always head to our Grandma’s place in Duluth very early Christmas morning. Our parents would pack us up in our PJ’s and load us into the maroon minivan while it was still hours from daybreak. That way, we would sleep most of the 8 hour drive and wake up just before we arrived. Smart people, my parents. The experts say that smell is one of the most intense senses that trigger memories. I can attest to that because I can still distinctly remember how my grandma’s apartment building smelled. There was a gas fireplace in the lobby and the smell of Christmas-y potpourri from the holly wreaths and other decorations that residents hung on their doors. Grandma’s apartment had a very unique combination of scents as well, although the one that sticks out in my mind the most is the aroma of turkey loaf. You know, the Jennie-O frozen kind that cooks in its own gravy. Sometimes I cook that up just because I’m missing Grandma. Both of my parent’s families lived in Duluth, so although we stayed with our dad’s mom (grandpa died before I was born), we spent time with our mom’s dad and his wife as well. Our maternal grandma died before I was born, but grandpa had remarried to a wonderful woman who totally accepted us as her grand kids. After opening presents at Grandma’s and hanging out with our uncles, aunts, and cousins, we would head out to Grandpa’s to do the same. Grandpa was a very quiet, stoic man, but Grandma Marie was loud and boistorous. She had kids from her previous marriage, and they had kids, so we had a lot of step-cousins running around to play with. There would be a huge spread of snacky foods on the dining room table, and I remember loading up on broccoli and ham buns. Grandma Marie bought us the most interesting presents, most of which she bought on the home shopping network. One year I got a plastic doll that crawled. It broke the next day. My dad’s brother, Bill, said he could fix it because his brother, Richard, was a doctor. He couldn’t. Anywho, after opening presents the cousins would head downstairs to the basement where there would be a roaring fire in the fireplace. Rachel and I were talking about the basement not to long ago and she asked me if I remembered the mugs that Grandpa had on a shelf on the wall. Oh yes, I do. They were a series of mugs that had a nak*d woman (was it a mermaid?) climbing out of the mugs. It’s just one of those really odd things that sticks out in our minds. Hehe. We also remember our cousin (Donny? Scott?) that would always roast his socks in the fireplace. Odd. Those kinds of family memories make up a childhood and are something that I want to be able to share with my kids someday, and I hope that our boys have benefitted from the effort we put into making their Christmases special, and will remember them fondly. Do you have any quirky traditions? I’d love to hear about them. Leave me some comments, people! Over 300 of you are reading this blog daily, so now would be a great time to hear from you. Merry Christmas Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: faith, Family Traditions Posted by Hannah Rae on Dec 9, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house I love Christmas. It is truly my favorite time of year. I’m one of those annoying people who plays Christmas music all year round. I figure you can’t be accused of playing it to early if you never stopped. Spotify has become my new best friend this Christmas because I have made my ultimate Christmas playlist with almost 800 songs. Baby E and I listen to it every morning as I’m feeding her breakfast. I’ve got everything from John Denver to Veggie Tales on there. It’s pretty sweet. Anywho, since both boys are gone this year, and Baby E is too young to participate in a lot of activities, I’m missing a lot of our Christmas traditions this year. One tradition that has stayed is that Rachel and I do the majority of the Christmas decorating. The past few years Hubby’s dad has gone out to the homestead and finds a tree that he thinks is impressive enough to be honored with the corner position in our living room. He scopes them out all year. This year’s is a beauty. Hubby and Dad put on the lights and then Rachel and I put on the ornaments the next day with a VHS tape of Muppet Christmas Carol playing on the TV. One of my favorite things about decorating the tree this year was pulling out all of the beautiful ornaments that I bought after Christmas last year. I wait until end of January when all the Christmas stuff is 75% off and then get the really fancy, hand-blown glass ornaments. Another reason I love getting them after Christmas is that I get to experience the fun of re-discovering my treasures all over again the next Christmas. I catch myself saying things like “Oh! That’s so cute!” or “Oh yeah! I remember getting that!” as I un-package my green and red bins….which I also got on clearance after Christmas. One tradition I’m really missing this year is the nightly lighting of the Advent candles. We started this tradition the first Christmas the boys were with us as a way to introduce them to the wonder of the prophecies and fulfillment of Christ’s birth. We lit the candles every night after dinner and read scripture passages that corresponded. We quizzed the boys on the meaning of each candle as they took turns lighting and then blowing them out. It was a really special thing. I miss it. Only God knows what our next year will bring, so I know that by this time next year Christmas will have a whole new layer of meaning and tradition. One of my favorite Christmas stories is “All is Well” by Frank E. Peretti. I listen to it year round and actually performed it at competitions in high school. At the close of the story Peretti describes how God is the great story teller of our lives and how He loved us so much that he wrote Himself into our story as a baby in a manger. He came into this earth under extremely adverse circumstances and experienced the rejection and chaos this life has to give. He chose to do that. For me. So even though this year has had a lot of pain and hurt, I am choosing to hold onto joy. Joy that comes from deep inside because of what and whom we celebrate. Merry Christmas Blessings! Hannah ***BTW, no one paid me anything for my opinions. They’re just things I like.*** Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, Family Traditions, the hard stuff Posted by Hannah Rae on Dec 8, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house I’m sorry I’ve been quiet again. My heart is hurting and I want so badly to write about it, but I can’t. Everything is just to confidential and sensitive. Things are changing. Big time changing. Like…. I don’t know what God is doing, but I hope this season is coming to an end and the next is full of all kinds of joy….kind of changing. One thing that has my heart in a vice is that Baby E will be moving on after Christmas. We thought we might have the opportunity to make her ours forever, we fought for it, but it just wasn’t meant to be….apparently. The family she will be going to has her older two sisters as well, and they are an amazing family. They love Jesus, and they will raise her up in the right way. If I could pick a family to take care of my precious girl, they would be it….but they just aren’t us. Hubby is crushed. We both are. It comes in waves. Every time she smiles at us it makes it worse. It feels like our joy is leaving. Okay, Lord. I know. You want to be our joy. But this still hurts. Too much mourning in too little time. Too much loss. Too much change. So what’s next? The challenge for me is going to be to rest and wait and try not to jump into something to try to fill these holes I am feeling. The holes are in my identity. Who am I now? What am I here for? How do I wait effectively? How do I allow myself to be healed? How can Kaleb and I heal together? Lots of questions. No easy answers. So there you go. Be patient with me. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, Bright Eyes, foster care, prayer, the hard stuff Posted by Hannah Rae on Nov 28, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house It’s been tough. I failed at the thankfulness countdown. More trauma. The babe might be moved soon. Too soon. We are appealing the decision, but I have no confidence. Jeremiah’s situation is so up in the air. Where will he be? Who can help him? What role are we supposed to play? How much can our hearts handle? It’s been hard to be thankful because I’ve been so angry. Angry that we are having to go over yet another hurdle, and another. The past two years have been so hard and it’s just not letting up. We are asking a lot of questions that there just are not easy answers to. It’s hard to breathe. This weight that’s on my heart feels so overwhelming that it makes every breath a conscious effort. Every smile is a decision. My friend Eileen said it so well. “If it looks to you as if I don’t take something seriously enough because you cannot see the blood from my broken heart spilling out all over, ok, that’s good cause that would scare the kids. And maybe what you see is me standing on the rock of my faith – my incredible Father, Who is working things out in our lives. Or, maybe what you are seeing is some therapeutic dancing and singing because we are intentionally choosing not to live in the pain every. moment. You know they say you cannot judge a book by its cover… along those same lines – you cannot always see the brokenness of a life by looking at someones’ face. Imma gonna dance on – with you or without you, it’s ok, I have friends who get it.” But sometimes there are just too many unanswered “what if’s,” and sanity is just not possible. But I am choosing to be thankful. Choosing very carefully what attitudes I hold onto. The emotions and the feelings and the thoughts come like darts and hit at some very inconvenient and even inappropriate times, piercing me to the deepest parts of my…depths, but I choose what stays. Somehow, I’m going to have to choose to say “You give and take away, blessed be Your name.” Somehow. But be patient with me, and remind me gently, and if I yell at you and tell you to shut up, love me anyways, and then try again later. And keep praying for us, ‘cuz none of this makes any flippin’ sense. We need our suddenly. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Adoption, Being set apart, blogging, Bright Eyes, faith, foster care, marriage, parenting, prayer, RAD, the hard stuff Posted by Hannah Rae on Nov 20, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house I’m so thankful for: Silence. This is a new discovery for me. I had the opportunity to go on a silent retreat this weekend and was blown away by how God touched my heart. More on that later I hope. Chai tea and hot chocolate…together. I found some amazing chai tea that has some real kick to it, and when combined with my favorite hot cocoa. MmmMmmMmm goodness. My crock pot. What a versatile tool that thing is. Love it. My sauna. It helps make me clean. Really, really clean. And boy can you tell when you’ve been eating garlic. Hehehe. Superficial, but worth being thankful for all the same. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, blogging, faith Posted by Hannah Rae on Nov 16, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house Here’s some more blessings I am thankful for: Cloth diapers. I love our cloth diapers. We decided to use cloth long before we had a baby to diaper. When Baby E came into our lives, I almost forgot our choice until my sister-in-law reminded me, “Hey, weren’t you going to do cloth?” Oh, yeah. I was. Per her recommendation we decided on the Flip system by Cotton Babies. I like a lot of things about this system. It’s one of the least expensive and cost-efficient cloth-diapering systems I’ve found, and it’s very low maintenance. Hubby loves the money these modern beauties save us. We were gifted some disposables that we use when we are out and about, so we realize how many we go through in just one day. I love our flannel wipes just as much. They clean so well and prevent so much waste. See, we have to pay for every bag of trash we put out, so every bit counts. I’m so glad we made that choice. I am thankful for my sisters in Christ. I know I already said how thankful I am for our church family, but within that family are some very special women who chose to share life with me. They are honest, blunt, and loving. They are real and choose to be vulnerable. We laugh a lot. We cry a lot too. We are known to break out into spontaneous prayer for each other at a moment’s notice, and occasionally we break out into song too. I love these women, and I love their kids as well. I prayed for years for a community like them, and God brought them into my life at just the right time. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, faith Posted by Hannah Rae on Nov 14, 2011 in Life in the Stubborn house So, just in case you didn’t know, or are calendar challenged, like I am, the holiday of Thanks Giving is next Thursday. NEXT. WEEK. So that means that procrastinators, such as myself, need to get their butts in gear and start preparing their hearts, minds, and blogs for some major thankfullness. I’ve been inspired by bloggers, whose organizational skills I covet, and their beautiful posts expressing an area of thankfullness (why is that not a word?) for each day leading up to the 24th. Posts like this remind me how truly blessed, spoiled really, I am. So, I have some catching up to do. I am thankful for: - My relationship with my Heavenly Father. This might sound cliche, but this year especially I am so thankful for knowing my creator in a personal way and, more importantly, that He knows me. That He knows my needs in ways that only He can; that not even I know. That is good. - My husband. He is my best friend. He is so much more than that. He has truly become part of who I am, but that is what becoming one is supposed to be, right? More on him next week. - My sister, Rachel. She is my other best friend. I am so thankful for her support and her joy. - My sons. They are a learning experience that I never knew I needed. They’ve stretched me. They’ve brought me closer to my Heavenly Father. They made me a mom. - My critters. I am so glad that God made animals. I love my fuzzy friends. They were my first children, and I even got to name them. Hehehe. (Infertile women, unite!) - Baby E. She is my sunshine. I am thankful for every day with her. Enough said. - My family near and far. God gave me you for times like this. I love you. One of you needs to invent a teleporter, like, NOW! - My church family. I can’t even describe how much I love you. I recognize that very few are blessed with a community of believers like the one my beloved and I belong to. - My community of trauma mamas and papas. I can not imagine going through this journey of parenthood without your support, wisdom, friendship, and dark humor. - My home. It’s quirky, but I love it. My favorite part is our living room. It’s big enough to romp around in (think what you will), and has a beautiful sandstone wall and a fireplace. Oh, how I love our fireplace! If we are ever out of this trauma cycle and actually get to remodel, I want to put a stone hearth (is that what it is?) around it so that I can use it for cooking. Wouldn’t that be cool? I think so. - The Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I love this place. It’s something you just have to experience to understand. The lakes, the trees, the snow (yes, I love the snow!), the stars, the people, there’s just nothing like it. - Food. I am so thankful that we have access to so many choices and flavors and that I can create with, and enjoy, and nourish my family. Food is good. - Electricity. I often long for the simpler things, and I know I could do without this modern convenience, but I am definitely thankful for it. It allows me to listen to beautiful music and uplifting messages. It allows me to watch shows and movies that make me laugh and cry. It allows me to share life with friends and family far away. It allows me to share my mind and heart with you. It’s a good thing. - My health. This is an area I’ve struggled through my whole life, and it still is a struggle, but when I put things into perspective, my health issues are mainly annoyances. My body is strong and can fight things off in a reasonable amount of time. I have access to medicines and supplements and all kinds of nutrients, as well as the ability to research them. Plus, I know who my healer is, and that is good. Okay, that’s 14. Now, hopefully I will be able to remember to continue to post for the next 10 days. Blessings! Hannah Leave a comment | | Tags: Being set apart, blogging
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Bhí mé ag obair ar an bpost í gur deas tú a thabhairt isteach le mo Boy Busy álainn ar bhealach níos doimhne, ach díreach mar a bhí mé ag déanamh go, literally mar a bhí clóscríobh mé é, fuair muid le glao ag 11:30 a ghlacadh socrúchán éigeandála beirt chailíní, le 16 bliain d'aois, agus a beirt bliain d'aois deirfiúr beag. Dúirt muid tá a socrúchán sealadach. Go raibh mí ó shin. Tá an post ag fáil níos gaire a thabhairt chun críche, ach amháin nach "ann" go fóill. Tá Life with dhá dhá bhliain d'aois ar eachtra. Na codanna is fearr a bhfuil dhá bhliain d'aois in aghaidh na míosa ar leith go bhfuil siad siamsaíocht a chur ar a chéile, gach ceann eile cuideachta taitneamh a bhaint as, dom siamsaíocht a chur lena n-antics, agus ag foghlaim gach cineál rudaí spraoi le chéile. Na codanna is measa a bhfuil dhá bhliain d'aois in aghaidh na míosa ar leith é a mhúineadh siad a chéile ní-sin-spraoi nósanna, mbaineann siad taitneamh as screadaíl ar a chéile, go leor, ach le haghaidh spraoi, agus leis an Chomh maith lenár 8 mí d'aois, tá sé i ndáiríre deacair a fháil ar aon chores nó siopadóireacht a dhéanamh go héifeachtach. Na codanna is fearr ar a bhfuil 16 bliain d'aois sa teach ag fáil an deis a mhúineadh scileanna saoil tábhachtach, a spreagadh di go bhfuil sí ina duine ann ar féidir leo a roghanna a dhéanamh go maith, agus mo theach ag dul i ndáiríre glan nuair nach bhfuil sí a dhéanamh go maith den sórt sin roghanna. Tá an chuid is measa ar a bhfuil 16 bliain d'aois nach raibh múineadh scileanna saoil go leor cuí sa teach a dhéanann sé uaireanta is cosúil sé cosúil ní mór dúinn 3 leanaí óga. Bhraith mé an-scoite amach an mhí seo. Idir cuairteanna do na cailíní, teiripí, agus ceapacháin eile, ní raibh mé in ann a chaitheamh i bhfad ar aon am cáilíochta le cairde an mhí seo. Ní raibh muid a fháil fiú aon ní a dhéanamh ar ár chomóradh. Beidh na cailíní ach anseo le haghaidh eile na seachtaine, agus ansin tá mé ag súil gur féidir rudaí a réiteach síos i sceideal níos praiticiúla. Ugh! Tá sláinte Bitty s streachailt. Táimid ag a bhfuil saincheisteanna cógas, ach buíochas le Dia ní mór dúinn a pediatrician iontach atá ag obair an-deacair a dhéanamh cinnte go Bitty fhásann isteach an cailín healthiest is féidir léi a bheith. Anois go atá againn fuair roinnt de na rudaí Med faoi smacht, chinn Bitty bhí sé in am chun TÚS crawling! Tá sí i ngach áit! Is cloch mhíle riamh go bhfuair muid chun taithí le Súile Bright, mar gheall ar cé go bhog sí ar a baile nua nuair a bhí sí thart ar 9 mí d'aois, ní raibh sí tús crawling till a bhí sí beagnach bliain d'aois. Bitty i ndáiríre an chéad leanbh mé gotten chun taithí cloch mhíle seo leis, agus go bhfuil speisialta sin incredibly dom. Cé go bhfuil a fhorbairt mótair i gcónaí chun tosaigh ar an gcuar, tá Bitty roinnt riachtanais speisialta leanúnach mar thoradh ar na substaintí a bhí faoi lé sí i Utero. Ceann de na ceisteanna is go bhfuil sí ina kid an-céadfach-íogair. Startles sí i ndáiríre go héasca, agus faigheann ró-spreagadh gan rabhadh. Tá sí freisin go dtrioblóid ag tosú le bianna soladach. Ní bheidh sí ar oscailt a béal a ithe amach ar spúnóg, agus más rud é is féidir liom a bhainistiú a roinnt i ann, gags sí a fháil go dtí an pointe caitheamh suas chomh luath agus a bhuaileann sé an cúl a scornach. Beidh sí, áfach, a ithe scáinteoir Graham, cé go gcríochnaíonn an chuid is mó de sé suas ar a aghaidh agus cófra. Táimid tar éis an OT ag teacht amach an tseachtain seo chun cuidiú linn aghaidh a thabhairt ar na saincheisteanna seo, atá ag éirí níos níos mó de imní anois go bhfuil sí chomh soghluaiste. Foirmle ina n-aonar nach bhfuil a ghearradh ach é níos mó. Mar a luaigh mé ar feadh tamaill níos luaithe, Hubby agus a rith mé díreach tar éis bliain ar an 11ú. Crazy. An bhliain seo caite nach raibh againn a fháil chun ceiliúradh a dhéanamh toisc go raibh muid i lár ár n-cath le Jeremiah. I mbliana, ní raibh an iomarca ag dul ar aghaidh leis an ár bardaí atá ann faoi láthair. Is é mo lá breithe ag teacht suas an deireadh seachtaine seo, agus tá mé ag súil go Hubby agus beidh mé in ann a etch am éigin amach do gach ceann eile. Mhothaíonn sé gur deacair a breathe uaireanta le gach a bhfuil ar siúl, agus i mí Lúnasa ag dul a bheith NUTS! A Thiarna Íosa, déan trócaire! Gabe tháinig abhaile chun cuairt a thabhairt an deireadh seachtaine seo don chéad uair i níos mó ná bliain! Bhí sé iontach! Ní raibh absolutley aon awkwardness. Mé díreach tar éis taitneamh as am a chaitheamh le mo mhac. Plus, bhí sé Super cool a fheiceáil banna Boy Busy agus Bitty. Fuair mé roinnt pictiúir mór de mo 19 bliain d'aois a shealbhú agus ag súgradh le mo littles. Téite sé mo chroí sin i bhfad. Níl sé i gcónaí ag déanamh na roghanna is fearr, ach tá ár gcaidreamh a athchóiriú, agus go bhfuil níos mó ná súil agam ar feadh bliana ó shin. Plus, bhí sé i ndáiríre greannmhar ag breathnú air féachaint orm smacht na 16 bliana d'aois. Dúirt sé go raibh sé beagnach chun dul isteach sa chistin agus a "Tá sé ní hamháin fiú é!" Hehehe insint. Wonderful. Maith go leor, is dóigh liom go glanta mo inchinn amach roinnt cobwebs anois. Agus ní ba mhaith liom a bheith in ann a roinnt go mór faoi cén fáth sucked sé, mar sin tá sé ní hamháin fiú é. 2012 Tá tús curtha amach le tráma beagán níos lú, mar gheall go raibh muid ach amháin maidir le beannacht a rá le Súile geal (ainm nua Babaí E, bhí an cuz 'rud ar fad tosaigh ag éirí ró-mearbhaill.) Ach ar a laghad go bhfuil sí i dteach, grámhar Godly, i gcás ina Tá sí lena beirt deirfiúracha, agus gar go leor gur féidir linn cuairt a thabhairt uirthi ar bhonn rialta. Sin an fáth tá sé tráma lú. Bitty Babe (ainm nua Babaí A san áireamh) ag déanamh go han-mhaith, agus anois go bhfuil mé ach 1 leanbh chun díriú ar, tá rudaí calmed síos go mór. Tá sí ina rud milis beag, ach tá ag streachailt i ndáiríre lena bpróiseas bhaint den chíoch. Tá sí i bhfad níos mó docht agus spastic ná Súile Bright riamh. Tá sí i bpian an chuid is mó den am, mar sin má tá sí awake, tá sé annamh go nach bhfuil sí ag gol. Ní féidir liom fanacht go dtí go bhfuil sí déanta go hiomlán lena wean ionas gur féidir linn a fheiceáil cad a bheidh cailín beag a fháil chun cinn. Is cás Bitty ionas suas san aer ag an bpointe seo nach bhfuil aon smaoineamh cá fhad a bheidh sí le linn. Tá a lán de na teaghlaigh i gceist, mar sin tá sé indéanta go bhféadfadh duine éigin céim suas faoi choimeád a ghlacadh ag aon phointe, ach ní go bhfuil an tuiscint go bhfuil mé ag fáil. Cuairteanna go dtí seo níor bheith comhsheasmhach, mar sin beidh orainn a fheiceáil conas a fhorbraíonn go. Tá Hubby agus mé beagán níos mó cosanta leis an socrúchán mar gheall ar an briseadh croí a tharla le Súile geal. Is mian linn a dhéanamh cinnte go bhfuil muid an fhaisnéis go léir is féidir sula geallaimid aon chinneadh. Chun anois, is é ár post chun grá Bitty chomh hiomlán agus is féidir linn ionas gur féidir linn a thabhairt di an deis chéanna a rathú mar a rinne muid le haghaidh Súile geal. Ár cailíní leanbh bhí ambasadóirí iontach an ngá atá le tuismitheoirí altrama. Bheirt acu a bheith idir lámha aird an oiread sin nuair a bhíonn muid amach agus torthaí sé beagnach i gcónaí i amháin ar a laghad comhrá maith mar gheall ar an ngá atá le tuismitheoirí altrama inár bpobal. Ar an drochuair, tá na comhráite de ghnáth ar an frása / ceist go bhfuil mé teacht ar dread agus ghrain. Tagann sé amach rud éigin cosúil le "Ó, ní raibh mé in ann é sin a dhéanamh. Conas is féidir leat a thabhairt dóibh ar ais? "Nó" Ní gcuireann sé tú a mharú ach nuair a bhfuil tú a thabhairt dóibh ar ais? "Nó, an ceann is measa ar fad," Oh, ní raibh mé in ann é sin a dhéanamh. Ba mhaith liom grá ach iad iomarca. " Mar más rud é nach bhfuil muid grá dóibh le gach ceann dár gcroíthe. Mar más rud é go bhfuil sé éasca dúinn a sheoladh ar na leanaí ar aghaidh go dtí cuma cad é i ndán dóibh. Sé ar a dtugtar íobairt, daoine! Is breá linn dóibh go hiomlán ionas go mbeidh a fhios againn nach raibh muid a shealbhú rud ar bith ar ais. Tugaimid dóibh gach a bhfuil againn a thabhairt ionas riamh go mór dúinn a Wonder "An bhfaca a dhéanfaidh mé go leor?" Táimid a thabhairt dóibh an bronntanas le bannaí láidir. An bronntanas a fhios agam go raibh grá acu agus chothaímid. Ní sábháilteachta ach, cé go bhfuil go criticiúil, ach a chothú. Níl mé láidir go leor, ach nach bhfuil an grá uaim. Mé pas ach é a chur ar. Conas is féidir roghnaigh mé feasach go dtí méid nach é sin a dhéanamh? Maith go leor. Scaoilte os a chionn. Cé a fhios cad a bheidh an séasúr seo chugainn a thabhairt, ach súil agam cinnte as rud éigin níos fearr. Má léann tú mo bhlag trí léitheoir, le do thoil an deis a thapú chun cliceáil ar an nasc post agus mo shuíomh iarbhír cuairt a thabhairt. An maith leat an méid a fheiceann tú? Mo Hubby milis agus thar a bheith cumasach agus tá mé ag obair go dian le haghaidh na seachtaine faoi athdhearadh ar mo bhlag, agus ag déanamh sé rud éigin go bhfuil i bhfad níos mó "Me". Breathnaigh thart. Tá gach cineál na GEMS i bhfolach. Tá gach ceann de na grafaicí, ach amháin an snowman ... toisc go bhfuair Hubby impatient .... mo doodles, arna tharraingt le sharpies. Má tá tú ag seiceáil amach an "Scéal Leabhar" a bhrú, beidh tú a fheiceáil mé Chuir níos mó roinnt de mo gearrscéalta, le níos mó le teacht níos déanaí. Is é an "About Me" alt fós á dtógáil, ach tá mé ag psyched Super faoina cuma nua. Is breá liom go bhfuil mo bhlag anois machnamh fiú níos mó de mo phearsantacht, agus anois asraon mór do mo chruthaitheacht Doodle freisin! Mar a chur linn gnéithe níos mó, beidh mé a bheith cinnte chun ligean a fhios agat, má tá tú ceaptha a bheith in iúl i ar an spraoi, ach tá roinnt rudaí go mbainfidh tú díreach chun a fháil amach do díbh féin. Táimid ag a bhfuil achomharc ar an gcinneadh, ach tá mé aon muinín. Is staid Jeremiah ionas suas san aer. Cá sé? Cé is féidir cabhrú leis? Cén ról atá ceaptha againn a imirt? Cé mhéad is féidir ár gcroí a láimhseáil? Baineann sé le bheith deacair a bheith buíoch mar tá mé a bheith chomh feargach. Angry go bhfuil muid ag dul thar eile fós hurdle, agus eile. Le dhá bhliain anuas bhí chomh crua agus é a ligean ar cíos gan ach suas. Táimid ag iarraidh a lán de na ceisteanna go bhfuil nach bhfuil ach éasca le freagraí. Tá sé deacair a breathe. Measann an meáchan go bhfuil ar mo chroí go mór go ndéanann sé gach anáil iarracht chomhfhiosach. Tá gach aoibh gháire ar chinneadh. Mo chara Eileen Dúirt sé chomh maith. "Má tá sé a thabhairt duit mar mura bhfuil mé in ann rud éigin dáiríre go leor toisc nach féidir leat a fheiceáil na fola ó mo chroí briste spilling amach ar fud, ceart go leor, go bhfuil cúis mhaith a bheadh scare na páistí. Agus b'fhéidir go bhfuil an méid a fheiceann tú mise I mo sheasamh ar an gcarraig mo chreideamh - Athair Is dochreidte, Cé atá rudaí a oibriú amach inár saol. Nó, b'fhéidir cad tá tú ag feiceáil go bhfuil roinnt damhsa agus amhránaíocht teiripeacha mar go bhfuil muid ag roghnú d'aon ghnó nach chun cónaí sa pian gach. faoi láthair. Tá a fhios agat a deir siad nach féidir leat breitheamh ar leabhar a chlúdach ... feadh na línte céanna - ní féidir leat a fheiceáil i gcónaí ar an brokenness ar an saol trí bhreathnú ar aghaidh someones '. IMMA gonna damhsa ar - a bhfuil tú nó gan tú, tá sé ceart go leor, tá mé cairde a fháil ". Ach uaireanta nach bhfuil ach an iomarca unanswered "cad má tá," agus sanity é ní hamháin is féidir. Ach tá mé ag roghnú a bheith buíoch. Roghnú go cúramach cad dearcadh a shealbhú mé isteach. Na mothúcháin agus na mothúcháin agus na smaointe a thagann mhaith dairteanna agus bhuail ag roinnt uaireanta an-deacair agus fiú míchuí, pholladh dom ar na codanna is doimhne de mo ... doimhneacht, ach roghnaigh mé cad a fhanann. Ar bhealach, tá mé ag dul go bhfuil a roghnú a rá "Tá tú thabhairt agus a ghlacadh ar shiúl, a bheith bheannaigh d'ainm." Ar bhealach. A bheith Ach othar liom, agus mé i gcuimhne go réidh, agus má yell ag tú agus tú ag insint go stoptar suas, grá anyways liom, agus ansin déan iarracht arís ar ball. Agus a choinneáil ag guí dúinn, 'a dhéanann cuz aon cheann de seo ar aon Flippin' ciall. Tost. Is é seo fionnachtain nua dom. Bhí mé an deis chun dul ar Retreat adh an deireadh seachtaine seo agus bhí blown away ag cé dteagmháil léi Dia mo chroí. Níos mó ar sin ina dhiaidh sin tá súil agam. Chai tae agus seacláide te ... le chéile. Fuair mé roinnt iontach chai tae go bhfuil roinnt ciceáil fíor dó, agus nuair a chomhcheangal le mo cócó te is fearr leat. Feabhas MmmMmmMmm. Mo POT crock. Cad uirlis versatile go bhfuil rud. Love it. Mo sabhna. Cabhraíonn sé a dhéanamh dom glan. Really, glan i ndáiríre. Agus is féidir buachaill leat a insint nuair a tá tú ag ithe gairleog. Hehehe. Superficial, ach is fiú a bheith buíoch do gach duine mar an gcéanna. Mar sin, ach i gcás nach raibh a fhios agat, nó féilire dúshlán, mar tá mé, an saoire na Go raibh maith agat a thabhairt go bhfuil Déardaoin seo chugainn. Next. SEACHTAIN. Mar sin, ciallaíonn sé sin go mór procrastinators, ar nós mé féin, a fháil ar a gcuid bunanna i bhfearas agus tús a ullmhú a hearts, aigne, agus a blogs do roinnt thankfullness móra. Tá mé ag spreagadh ag blagairí, a bhfuil eagrúcháin scileanna covet mé, agus a n-post álainn in iúl réimse de thankfullness (cén fáth nach bhfuil an focal?) Do gach lá roimh an 24ú lá. Poist mar seo i gcuimhne dom conas a bheannaigh go fírinneach, spoilt i ndáiríre, tá mé. Mar sin, tá mé ag teacht ar roinnt suas le déanamh. Tá mé buíoch do: Mo ghaol le mo Athair ar Neamh. D'fhéadfadh sé seo fuaime cliche, ach i mbliana go háirithe Tá mé chomh buíoch as a fhios agam mo cruthaitheoir ar bhealach pearsanta agus, níos tábhachtaí fós, go bhfuil a fhios sé dom. Go bhfuil a fhios aige mo riachtanais ar bhealaí nach raibh ach is féidir sé; go fiú a fhios agam. Is é sin go maith. Mo fear céile. Tá sé mo chara is fearr. Tá sé i bhfad níos mó ná sin. Tá sé ag éirí fíor-chuid de atá mé, ach go bhfuil an méid atá ar cheann ag éirí ceaptha a bheith, ceart? Níos mó air an tseachtain seo chugainn. Mo dheirfiúr, Rachel. Tá sí mo chara is fearr eile. Tá mé chomh buíoch as a dtacaíocht agus a áthas. Mo mhac. Tá siad taithí foghlama riamh go raibh a fhios agam gá mé. Tá siad sínte dom. Tá siad a thabhairt dom níos cóngaraí do mo Athair ar Neamh. Rinne siad dom mamaí. Mo critters. Tá mé chomh sásta go ndearna Dia ainmhithe. Is breá liom mo chairde doiléir. Bhí siad mo leanaí ar dtús, agus fuair mé fiú iad a ainmniú. Hehehe. (Mná neamhthorthúil, aontú!) Is leanbh E. sí mo gréine. Tá mé buíoch as gach lá léi. Go leor sin. Mo theaghlach ngar is i gcéin. Thug Dia dom tú amanna mar seo. Is breá liom tú. Ceann de tú riachtanais a chumadh teleporter, cosúil le, ANOIS! Mo theaghlach séipéal. Ní féidir liom cur síos a dhéanamh fiú cé mhéad grá agam duit. Aithním gur beag a bheannaigh le pobal na gcreidmheach cosúil leis an ceann mo beloved agus a bhaineann liom. Mo phobal na mamas tráma agus Papas. Ní féidir liom a shamhlú ag dul tríd an turas de tuismitheoireacht gan do chuid tacaíochta, eagna, cairdeas, agus greann dorcha. Mo bhaile. Tá sé neamhghnách, ach is breá liom é. Is é mo chuid is fearr leat ár n-seomra suí. Tá sé mór go leor chun romp timpeall i (smaoineamh cad a bheidh leat), agus tá balla cloch ghainimh álainn agus teallach. Oh, conas a Is breá liom ár teallach! Má táimid riamh amach as an timthriall tráma agus ar ndóigh, a fháil chun remodel, ba mhaith liom a chur tinteán cloiche (is é sin cad é?) Timpeall air ionas gur féidir liom é a úsáid le haghaidh cócaireachta. Ní bheadh a bheith go cool? I mo thuairimse, mar sin. Leithinis Uachtarach Michigan. Is breá liom an áit seo. Tá sé rud éigin tá tú díreach chun taithí a fháil ar a thuiscint. Na lochanna, na crainn, an sneachta (yes, is breá liom an sneachta!), Na réaltaí, na daoine, níl ach aon rud cosúil é. Bia. Tá mé buíoch ionas go mór dúinn teacht ar roghanna an oiread sin agus blasanna agus gur féidir liom a chruthú le, agus taitneamh a bhaint as, agus mo theaghlach cothaigh. Bia Tá go maith. Leictreachais. Fada liom go minic le haghaidh na rudaí simplí, agus tá a fhios agam go raibh mé a dhéanamh gan an áise nua-aimseartha, ach tá mé cinnte buíoch as é. Ceadaíonn sé dom a bheith ag éisteacht le ceol álainn agus teachtaireachtaí uplifting. Ceadaíonn sé dom chun féachaint ar seónna agus scannáin a dhéanamh dom gáire agus caoin. Ceadaíonn sé dom an saol a roinnt le cairde agus teaghlaigh i bhfad ar shiúl. Ceadaíonn sé dom a roinnt mo intinn a chroí agus a bhfuil tú. Is rud maith é. Mo shláinte. Is réimse é seo mé ag streachailt trí mo shaol ar fad, agus tá sé fós ina streachailt, ach nuair a chuir mé rudaí i bpeirspictíocht, tá mo saincheisteanna sláinte den chuid is mó annoyances. Is é mo chorp láidir agus is féidir rudaí a troid as i méid réasúnta ama. Tá rochtain agam cógais agus forlíontaí agus gach cineál cothaithigh i láthair, chomh maith leis an gcumas chun taighde a dhéanamh orthu. Plus, tá a fhios agam a bhfuil mo healer, agus go bhfuil go maith. Maith go leor, tá go 14. Anois, tá súil againn go mbeidh mé in ann cuimhneamh ar leanúint go dtí an iar do na 10 lá ina dhiaidh sin. Gcéad dul síos, bhí mé ag dul a scríobh an post seo amazingly mionsonraithe faoi conas mé fada le haghaidh na rudaí simplí, agus amanna níos simplí, agus cé mhéad áthas a fháil mé amach as an chrua, obair lá go lá mama,; ach ansin an post amazingly mionsonraithe iompú isteach i bpost amazingly fada. Hehehe. Mar sin, briseadh mé go. Ansin bhí mé ag dul a phost faoi conas excited mé go lá atá inniu ann Oíche Shamhna; ní mar is maith liom Oíche Shamhna, mar gheall mé i ndáiríre, nach bhfuil i ndáiríre, ach toisc go ciallaíonn sé go amárach a fháil againn chun tús a chur ag fáil réidh le haghaidh dhá laethanta saoire uamhnach, is é sin Go raibh maith agat a thabhairt agus an Nollaig, ach ós rud é mé cheana féin de chineál ar scríobh faoi mo mhothúcháin Oíche Shamhna anseo, agus beidh mé cinnte a bheith ag scríobh go leor faoi Go raibh maith agat a thabhairt agus an Nollaig, chinn mé nach raibh mé ag mórán a rá i ndáiríre faoi sin faoi réir ceart anois. Agus ansin bhí mé ag dul a scríobh faoi conas annoying go bhfuil sé go nach bhfuil daoine, go háirithe daoine óga, i gcultúr an lae inniu a fhios ag na rialacha bunúsacha de ghramadach, agus claonadh a scríobh i smaointe discombobulated a seal i ndáiríre fada reáchtáil-abairtí ar, ach atá ag iarraidh a léamh faoi sin? Bhuail mé le mo chara Lindsay ag an Tuismitheoireachta i gcomhdháil ar ais SPÁS i mí Aibreáin, 'ya a fhios, ceart roimh gach rud a phléasc. Chliceáil againn láithreach. I mo thuairimse, ár gcomhrá chéad faoi conas boladh ár gcuid páistí tráma .... mhaith, dona. Tá muid an dá geeks drámaíocht, agus muid araon breá le gáire, fiú nuair a tá sé deacair ... go háirithe nuair atá sé deacair. Tá súil agam léi. Tá sí ag éirí eile meantóir mam iontach gur mian liom raibh mé in ann a dhéanamh timpeall i mo phóca ar ais. Is féidir liom i ndáiríre muinín aici, ach dangit ('cuz Níl mé go maith ag eascainí) ar mhaith liom riamh a smack di uaireanta toisc go bhfuil sí chomh maith an-dúshlánach ag mo chroí nuair b'fhearr liom gan dul in áit "ann". Sí Scríobh an lá atá inniu ann. Ní féidir liom é a fháil. Níl go tóin poill isteach Cinnte, tá mé ag foghlaim go leor faoi féin, agus mé in iúl Dia a bhaint as an tráma a root amach agus roinnt ceisteanna tábhachtacha in áit i mo chroí, mar sin sa mhéid is go bhfuil mé buíoch, ach níl mé buíoch as an truama féin, tá mé buíoch as an méid atá Dia a úsáidtear é a dhéanamh, ach B'fhearr liom gur roghnaigh sé ar bhealach difriúil. "Is é SEO cén fáth a choinneáil orainn ag dul.SEO é an fáth nach bhfuil ár bpáistí ár n-ualach is mó.SEO é an fáth nach bhfuil na páistí ghortú ruin ár saol ... ach bless sé le neamh s beannacht is saibhre má táimid a cheadú ach sinn féin a fháil síos agus a fháil salach agus stop troid an bronntanas lómhara, le bronntanas níos priceless go rubies, a tharlaíonn go díreach a bheith fillte i sracadh suas, peed ar, spit ar, pacáiste d'aois moldy. " Níl mé ann go fóill. Is dóigh liom fós mar go bhfuil leanbh amháin go háirithe, a nach bhfuil ualach, nó in áit, dó, ach cad tá an tráma iompú isteach dó. Níl a fhios agam i ndáiríre conas a rá go bhfuil, agus a admháil a dhéanann sé bhraitheann orm mar sin icky. Is dóigh liom fós mar a tháinig an kid i ndáiríre gar do ruining mo shaol, agus ní féidir liom gur mhaith leat a bhí bheannaigh mé le beannacht is saibhre ar neamh ar tríd. Níl mé ann go fóill. Beidh mé riamh? Níl a fhios agam. Really, i ndáiríre nach bhfuil a fhios. (Féach, tá a fhios agat Tá mé toin nuair a théann mo gramadach amach an fhuinneog.) Ach é sin an fáth timpeall mé féin le daoine a "a fháil" cad é an turas cosúil le, cad tá mé ag dul tríd, a bhfuil ár teaghlaigh ag dul tríd, agus cad mo chuid páistí ag dul tríd. Is féidir liom muinín leo a thaispeáint dom cad FÉIDIR saol a bheith, agus nach mbeidh sé i gcónaí conas a fheictear domsa é sa lá atá inniu. Agus roinnt laethanta, tá súil agam gur féidir liom a bheith go dóibh, cé go bhfuil mé ag mothú cinnte cosúil leis an leanbh sa ghrúpa is mó den am. Ach tá mé ag foghlaim. Beannachtaí! Hannah ps Babaí E Bhí a ceapachán 6 mhí lá atá inniu ann agus rockin 'uile an dochtúra ionchais. Bheadh aon duine a fhios go raibh an Wonder beag den sórt sin tús garbh. Moladh Íosa! Anois, tá mé curtha in iúl go d'fhéadfadh sé seo a bheith ina chuimhne bréagach mar gheall ar an bhfíric go bhfuil mé le feiceáil ar an físeán a breithe agus curtha in iúl mar gheall air sin is minic, ach ní féidir liom a chreidiúint seo. Cinnte, bhí mé díreach barely dhá bhliain d'aois, ach tá mé i gcónaí go raibh cuimhne maith, go háirithe le haghaidh fuaimeanna agus smells. Is cuimhin liom go soiléir ar ár babysitter shealbhú dom agus a bheith trína chéile nach gcuirfeadh sí liom síos. Is cuimhin liom na ballaí agus fuinneoga. An raibh a fhuinneog ag amharc isteach sa seomra breithe? B'fhéidir. Is cuimhin liom ar mian leo suí le mo mam ar a leaba, agus is cuimhin liom mo dhaid ag rá "Tá sé cailín eile!" Bhreith Rachel a bhí speisialta le haghaidh roinnt cúiseanna. Bhí sí ar an chéad leanbh a rugadh ag an ospidéal ar leith a bheith aici i láthair teaghlach ar fad ag a breithe. Bhí siad tógtha díreach a n-ionad breithe nua teaghlaigh, agus Rachel a bhí an bhreith an chéad a fháil ar an "teaghlach ar fad" taithí. Bhí sé seo le déileáil go mór go leor chun a dhéanamh airteagal leathanach sa nuachtán áitiúil, a choinnigh mo dhaid réir dealraimh níos mó ná 20 cóipeanna, a fuair mé amach nuair dul trí bhosca a keepsakes. An chúis dara breithe Rachel a bhí tábhachtach agus a bhí go raibh cinneadh déanta mo thuismitheoirí go mbeadh sí an ceann deireanach ar ár ál. Bhí mo thuismitheoirí gur mór i pleanála clainne nádúrtha. Go deimhin, bhí gach duine againn an-beacht spaced ag baint úsáide as an Ole 'modh chairt teocht. Gáire mé ag an mar tá sé rud eile eolaíochta, agus sin go díreach conas a bheadh mo dhaid bhfuil sé, cé go raibh mo mam ar ndóigh i gcomhaontú. Anywho, tar éis ceathrar páistí álainn, spaced 2-3 bliana seachas sin, chinn siad go raibh ár clan iomlán, agus mo dhaid sceidealta é féin le haghaidh a vasectomy. Nó b'fhéidir rinne mo mam dó. Níl mé cinnte ar an amháin. Mo dheirfiúr níos sine, Sarah, dúradh liom uair amháin go cuimhin sí an lá a bhí sé an nós imeachta mar gheall nach raibh sí cead chun suí ar a lap. Feicfidh mé a ghlacadh lena focal ar an duine, mar nach raibh mion a dhéanamh ar a bhealach isteach i mo chuimhne. Mar sin, ar an lá sin Lúnasa te i 1986, mo, mischievous notorious, hilarious, milis, íogair, comhpháirtíochta-i-coireachta cruthaitheacha isteach mo sféar. Ar feadh na mblianta bhí muid iomaitheoirí, a bhfuil scéal le haghaidh am eile, ach anois tá mé bheannaigh gach lá í, agus fiú sí go hiomlán a bheith ar mo chuimhne ar dtús. LOVE TÚ, RACHEL! Beannachtaí! Hannah *** Tabhair faoi deara: Ba é seo iarracht 2036.5 a fháil mé féin amach as mo tráma-cruthaíodh scríbhneora bloc. Fuair mé mé féin mar acmhainn nua a thabhairt dom smaointe, agus mar sin, arís, tá mo sprioc a scríobh gach lá. Fiú má tá sé ach abairt, níl mé ag iarraidh an am seo traumatic i mo shaol chun tosta dom.