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I’m going to be real right now. I feel really guilty. I feel guilty because I am so happy with mommy-hood right now. I see all of you in the trenches, and I was there a year ago. A year ago, we were in total survival mode. A year ago we were literally fearing for our lives. But we aren’t there now, and I don’t know how to feel about that. I feel guilty because I am so caught up in the glorious bliss of these little ones that I have been blessed with that I forget to pray for the one that just wouldn’t, couldn’t let me love him. I need to change that. I will always be his mom in spirit. I promised before my faith family that I would, so my prayers matter. I need to remember that. I feel guilty because I see all of you suffering through. Choosing to do the tough stuff, the right things, putting on your big girl (boy) panties (boxers?) in the midst of absolutely horrendous situations that most parents can’t imagine. I can imagine. I was there. But I’m not anymore. The worst I have to deal with are the erratic tantrums of an infantile recovering addict, and the age appropriate tantrums of an amazing, miracle of a 2 y/o. I feel bad about that. I think about all of you when I post FB updates about my babies sleeping through the night, when a year ago I slept with one ear open, bracing myself for the blaring alarm or the sound of a shattering window, and I know you are there. I thought about you today when my Busy Boy went pee on the potty for the first time, because I know that you are out there singing “The Pee Song” and listening to what your child was telling you through their actions. Is it weird to say I miss it? Yeah. It is. Is it the adrenaline that we were constantly functioning in that I was addicted to? Is it the pride of knowing that I did a damn good job with my boys that I miss? Or is it that I feel like I am losing connection with my amazing community of trauma mamas and papas? Now I know, dear friends, that we are not done with this journey yet. In fact, I know we are just at the very early stages of our new journey. We don’t know what special attention our precious littles will need as they grow. We don’t know what effects of trauma will be uncovered as they get older. Both were exposed to all kinds of crap in their birth mothers’ wombs, so who knows what that will bring, but I feel like I can be as prepared as any mama can be. I am not scared. I don’t feel lost or overwhelmed. That is because of you. So know, precious brothers and sisters, that you are on my heart daily. I have not forgotten that you are fighting the good fight, and I remember to shoot some serious arrow prayers in your direction. And I will pick your brains, seriously, a lot, because I know I can trust you, and you will never roll your eyes, or get scared off. We were mourning over babies lost, and babies never had, And then, in a dream, God told me your name. He told me to get ready for you. And then the phone rang, and there was a baby who was very sick who needed a mommy and daddy who knew how to take care of sick babies. And then we said yes, because God had already told us you were coming. And then you came. And you were so tiny, and I told Isa over the phone how tiny you were, and I sent him a picture, but he still didn’t understand. And you were so dirty, so I immediately washed you in a warm bath with lavender oil, and I held you in the palm of one hand, and I got some clean clothes out of the closet, but you were so tiny that I didn’t have anything small enough. And then Isa came home and marveled at how small you were, and how sick you looked. And then we heard you cry, and we saw the pain that you were in, and we promised to help you heal, and we swaddled you up and held you close. And I washed you again, because you still smelled like smoke. And that was the beginning. And then you got bigger, and stronger, and healthier, and smiley-er, and happier. And then you amazed everyone with your over-coming spirit. And then you confused your doctor, so we had to be patient. And then you started to do things early, not late. And then you became this beautiful, healthy, strong baby girl. And then you became ours in our hearts, and we started to believe it might be possible that you might stay. And then you became ours forever. Well, we are almost there, aren’t we, Bitty Girl? I was working on a really nice post to introduce you to my beautiful Busy Boy in a more in-depth way, but just as I was doing that, literally as I was typing it, we got a call at 11:30 PM to take an emergency placement of two girls, a 16 year-old, and her two year-old little sister. We said yes to a temporary placement. That was a month ago. The post is getting closer to completion, but just not “there” yet. Life with two two year-olds has been an adventure. The best parts of having two year-olds a month apart is that they entertain each other, enjoy each other’s company, entertain me with their antics, and are learning all kinds of fun things together. The worst parts of having two year-olds a month apart is that they teach each other not-so-fun habits, they enjoy screaming at each other, a lot, just for fun, and with the addition of our 8 month-old, it’s really hard to get any chores or shopping done effectively. The best parts of having a 16 year-old in the house are getting the chance to teach important life skills, encouraging her that she is a capable person who can make good choices, and my house getting really clean when she does not make such good choices. The worst part of having a 16 year-old who has not been taught many appropriate life skills in the house is that it sometimes makes it seems like we have 3 toddlers. I have felt very isolated this month. Between visits for the girls, therapies, and other appointments, I have not been able to spend much of any quality time with friends this month. We didn’t even get to do anything for our anniversary. The girls will only be here for another week, and then I am hoping things can settle down into a more practical schedule. Ugh! Bitty’s health has been a struggle. We are having medication issues, but thankfully we have a wonderful pediatrician who is working very hard to make sure Bitty grows into the healthiest girl she can be. Now that we’ve got some of the med stuff under control, Bitty decided it was time to START CRAWLING! She is everywhere! This is a milestone that we never got to experience with Bright Eyes, because although she moved to her new home when she was about 9 months old, she didn’t start crawling till she was almost a year old. Bitty is actually the first child I’ve gotten to experience this milestone with, and that is so incredibly special to me. Although her motor development has always been ahead of the curve, Bitty has some continual special needs as a result of the substances she was exposed to in utero. One of these issues is that she is a very sensory-sensitive kid. She startles really easily, and gets over-stimulated without warning. She is also having trouble starting solid foods. She will not open her mouth to eat off of a spoon, and if I do manage to get some in there, she gags to the point of throwing up as soon as it hits the back of her throat. She will, however, eat a graham cracker, although most of it ends up on her face and chest. We have an OT coming out this week to help us address these issues, which are becoming even more of a concern now that she is so mobile. Formula alone is just not cutting it even more. As I briefly mentioned earlier, Hubby and I just passed our 11th anniversary. Crazy. Last year we didn’t get to celebrate because we were in the middle of our battle with Jeremiah. This year, there was too much going on with our current wards. My birthday is coming up this weekend, and I am hoping that Hubby and I will be able to etch some time out for each other. It really feels hard to breathe sometimes with all that is going on, and August is going to be NUTS! Lord Jesus, have mercy! Gabe came home to visit this weekend for the first time in over a year! It was wonderful! There was absolutley no awkwardness. I just really enjoyed spending time with my son. Plus, it was super cool to see him bond with Busy Boy and Bitty. I got some great pictures of my 19 year-old holding and playing with my littles. It warmed my heart so much. He is not always making the best choices, but our relationship has been restored, and that is more than I hoped for a year ago. Plus, it was really funny watching him watch me discipline the 16 year-old. He said that he almost wanted to go into the kitchen and tell her “It’s just not worth it!” Hehehe. Wonderful. Okay, I think that my brain cleared out some cobwebs now. As I said in the last post, we knew that God knew what He was doing, and that even if the sib placement didn’t work out, that He had a reason that He was preparing us. Finally, two weeks after we got the initial referral for the sibling group, our agency gave us a call to tell us that the variance for other family had been approved, so we would not be getting the 4-pack, but before she even took a breath she had something else to ask us. She asked me, because Hubby was at work, if we would consider taking a two year-old boy. She and his assigned worker spent the next few minutes on speaker phone with me telling me the little they knew about him. He had only been in care a few days, and was initially placed with a foster family who decided they couldn’t handle his tantrums. They told me that apparently he tantrums when he hears “No,” hits himself, and hits his head on the floor. All I was thinking at this point was, “Does this family not know ANYTHING about 2 year-olds?” Everything else about the boy was extremely positive, and the tantrums didn’t scare me a bit. I actually really enjoy the strong-willed-ness that comes with toddler-hood. I love how they are developing their sense of self, and literally learning how to be human. I love their creativity and ingenuity, and how they can help you think outside the box, because they do it so naturally. Anywho, I told them that they would most likely get a “Yes,” but I had to call Hubby first, so I called Hubby and gave him the lowdown, and he asked me to give him an hour to think and pray about it. When the hour was up I gave him a buzz, and he said “Yes.” It wasn’t even a tentative “Yes.” It was the kind of answer that comes from knowing true peace. That was Tuesday. He would be coming the next day. We had painting to do. As a not so fun sidebar, I got a really bad case of the stomach flu that previous weekend, so I was not good for anything other than lying on the couch sipping water. That put all of our well-intentioned preparation plans on hold, so when we got the call about the little boy we had no choice but to go into overdrive. Hubby came home from work and got right to painting. I finished up the last coat Wednesday morning, just hours before our new little guy would be arriving. There was such a lack of info on this little one that we really didn’t know what to expect. When our worker pulled into the driveway, I was definitely excited, but not nervous at all. It’s a weird feeling, waiting to see who this little person will be. I’ve never given birth, but I imagine that it’s similar, except we often have mere days or even hours notice to anticipate these new members to our family. This time was particularly strange because, unlike Bright Eyes or Bitty Babe, this boy was already 2 years-old. He had 2 years of history that we were not a part of. 2 full years of experiences that shaped his little personality and his perception of this world of which we would never know the full extent. That is something unique to the foster care and adoption experience that is hard to describe completely. Anywho, the caseworker took him out of his car seat and I got my first glimpse of our new addition. He was tiny for a 27 month-old. He wore a blue camouflage hat that covered his strawberry blond curls. His bright blue eyes sparkled as he pointed at me and smiled and said something in his own little language. He reached up for me and I scooped him up and brought him up the stairs, and together we held the door open for the two workers (his worker and a worker in training) as they brought in his stuff. It only took a few moments for me to think of the perfect nickname for this little dude. As he raced around our house, exploring every detail along the way, I dubbed him “Busy Boy.” The workers (his worker and a workers spent about half an hour with us, answering questions as best they could, and observing his comfort level. They were both impressed at how observant he was and how quickly he figured out the house. One thing that struck me right away was how intelligent Busy Boy was. I showed him his room and told him “This is your room!” and that was that. His sense of humor caught me off guard. At one point, while the workers were still here, he found a small blanket, covered himself up, and pretended to snore. I cracked up! Anywho, I could talk about Busy Boy’s amazing personality all day, and I will definitely be expanding more about his first few days with us, but for now I will say that first impressions were better than I could have imagined. He is definitely strong-willed, and used to getting his way, but his “intense tantrums” were laughable, and he responded immediately to the structured environment we provided. We don’t know what the future holds for either of our little ones, but things are definitely heading toward the long term for both. This is an exciting time for Hubby and myself. We daily put our family in the Lord’s hands, and we are enjoying every moment that we are blessed with these precious little ones. The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions, hard choices, and great rewards. As I said in my last video blog, we were faced with the opportunity to take in a sibling group of 4 little ones. We went to meet them and fell in love. The DHS worker wanted us to take the two babies that night, sight unseen, but we did not feel comfortable with that arrangement. For one, we had to talk to Rachel about it. This is her house too, after all. So we told the worker that we needed a couple of days to think and pray about it, then we would make our decision. It would be a major life change, taking on four, especially four so young (6 months, 2, 4, and 6), but we had one question nagging at our hearts that just wouldn’t go away: If not us, then who? So we prayed about it for two days, and then we took the leap of faith and said “Yes!” We made the decision as a family; Rachel, Hubby, and myself all had to be in agreement, and we were. There were definite concerns, things that freaked us out completely, but in the end we knew that we had to be obedient and say what our hearts were crying, and they were crying for these kids. So after we said yes, we waited. We waited to hear what the next step was going to be and when the kids would be coming home. We were determined to be their last foster placement, so we wanted to be as prepared as possible. We immediately started preparing our home and I put out an SOS to everyone who might care to start gathering supplies. Oddly, there was little communication from the DHS of the county the kids currently resided in. It was days before we heard anything, and then what we heard was that the DHS worker wasn’t sure about the placement any more. She thought that we were “standoffish” at the meeting, which we found incredibly ironic, as would anyone who knows us at all. We were incredibly confused, especially after she initially tried to get us to take the kids immediately, without ever even meeting us. Anywho, our agency’s amazing foster care director was a great mediator and tried to get things figured out, but the DHS worker was being incredibly confusing on all sides. But we kept preparing. That next Monday I had to travel up their way to bring Bitty Babe to a doctor’s appointment, and their DHS worker thought it would be a good idea for us to meet the children again, for them to get to see us, and for us to get any questions answered, since we were told at this point that the move-in date would be that Friday. Rachel was going to be with me, so that would be a great opportunity for her to meet them. The meeting was really, really odd. We had a great time playing with the kids, but the DHS worker disappeared! When she did show back up, she wouldn’t answer any of my questions. She was being incredibly elusive, even with simple things like the kids’ clothing sizes and food preferences. I thought that maybe she just didn’t want to talk in front of the children, so I asked her if we could talk later that evening, and she said she would give me a call after she dropped the kids off. She didn’t call. She didn’t call the next day either, after I left her a message asking her to PLEASE give me a call back. She never called. What in the world was up? Finally I got a call from our agency saying that the DHS worker had been working with a different family trying to get them to take all four, but they had 4 already and so they were working on getting them a variance, since 8 is above the state’s licensing limit. We (our agency worker included) were dumbfounded! Suddenly, the tables had totally turned. The DHS worker went from handing over the babies sight unseen, to totally changing her tune and trying to keep the kids in her county. The part that frustrated me was the unprofessionalism of leading us on, allowing us to continue to prepare for these kids, even having us come out and spend more time with them, when all the while she had another plan. Also, the lack of communication was very irritating. Why didn’t she just tell us that they were exploring other options? Why didn’t she call me back when she said she would? COMMUNICATION, PEOPLE! Anywho, even after we were told about the new plan, we still had to wait to see if the variance would be approved for the other family. If it wasn’t approved, than we would be the only choice to keep the 4 together. So we waited. In the mean time, we knew that even if this placement didn’t work out, that the Lord had been preparing us for a reason. Whether it were just an exercise in obedience, or whether He had another child in mind that He wanted to open our hearts for, we knew that He had a plan that was bigger than any DHS worker. Finally, this past Tuesday our agency gave us a call to tell us that the variance for other family had been approved, so we would not be getting the 4-pack, but before she even took a breath she had something else to ask us…. Bitty Babe is doing well. She is growing like a weed and getting more and more interactive every day. She’s almost 13 weeks old and is doing everything a 3 month old should be. She giggles and coos, is grabbing toys, and even found her toes during a diaper change the other day. Her medication wean is going well, and after a short bout with a stomach bug last week, which led to the most severe withdrawal symptoms we’d seen yet, she is back on track for being completely med-free in about a month. That’s the goal, anyways. Anything could set that date back, but our hope is that she will be med-free before Hubby and I head to the Parenting in SPACE conference in April. That would be good. As far as her case…nothing. Not. Thing. And there’s not going to be any movement until the next court date, which isn’t until April. That’s hard. This limbo thing is hard. In the meantime, she continues to heal. I’m so glad to be a part of that. My heart really breaks for these little ones who are facing a very difficult start in life due to their mother’s selfish choices. I’ve been really tempted to get on my soap box lately about that particular issue. Who is protecting these babies from choices that will change their lives forever? You’re going to tell me that because they are still in their mother’s womb, that there’s nothing we can do? That they are still their mother’s body, and they can do what they want with their body? Oh, I see, you’d rather wait till they are born and going through horrible, severe withdrawal symptoms that a grown person shouldn’t be subjected to before you decide she is worth fighting for. And I wouldn’t be able to share very much about why it sucked, so it’s just not worth it. 2012 has started out with slightly less trauma, because we only had to say goodbye to Bright Eyes (Baby E’s new name, cuz’ the whole initial thing was getting too confusing.) But at least she is in a loving, Godly home, where she is with her two sisters, and close enough that we can visit her on a regular basis. That’s why it’s less trauma. Bitty Babe (Baby A’s new name) is doing extremely well, and now that I only have 1 babe to focus on, things have calmed down considerably. She is a sweet little thing, but is really struggling with her weaning process. She’s so much more rigid and spastic than Bright Eyes ever was. She is in pain the majority of the time, so if she’s awake, it’s rare that she’s not crying. I can’t wait till she is completely done with her wean so we can see what little girl will get to emerge. Bitty’s case is so up in the air at this point that we have no idea how long she will be with us. There is a lot of family involved, so it’s possible that someone could step up to take custody at any point, but that’s not the impression that I’m getting. Visits so far have not been consistent, so we’ll see how that develops. Hubby and I are a little more guarded with this placement because of the heartbreak that happened with Bright Eyes. We want to make sure we have all the information possible before we commit to any decision. For now, our job is to love Bitty as completely as we can so that we can give her the same opportunity to thrive as we did for Bright Eyes. Our baby girls have been amazing ambassadors for the need for foster parents. They both have attracted so much attention when we are out and it almost always results in at least one good conversation about the need for foster parents in our community. Unfortunately these conversations usually include the phrase/question that I have come to dread and despise. It comes out something like “Oh, I could never do that. How could you give them back?” Or “Doesn’t it just kill you when you have to give them back?” or, the worst of them all, “Oh, I couldn’t do that. I would just love them too much.” As if we don’t love them with all of our hearts. As if it is easy for us to send these babies on to whatever is in store for them. It’s called SACRIFICE, people! We love them completely so that we know that we didn’t hold anything back. We give them everything we have to give so that we never have to wonder “Did I do enough?” We give them the gift of a strong bond. The gift of knowing that they were loved and cherished. Not just safety, although that is critical, but nurturing. I’m not strong enough, but the love is not from me. I just pass it on. How could I knowingly chose to not do that? Okay. Venting over. Who knows what this next season will bring, but I definitely hoping for something better.
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Tá mé ag dul a bheith fíor anois. Is dóigh liom i ndáiríre ciontach. Is dóigh liom ciontach toisc Tá mé chomh sásta leis an cochall mam-ceart anois. Feicim ar fad agat sna trinsí, agus bhí mé ann ná bliain ó shin. A bliain ó shin, bhí muid i mód marthanais iomlán. A bliain ó shin bhí eagla againn literally le haghaidh ár saol. Ach nach bhfuil muid ann anois, agus níl a fhios agam conas a bhraitheann faoi sin. Is dóigh liom ciontach toisc mé gafa amhlaidh suas i bliss glorious na cinn beag go bhfuil mé ag bheannaigh le go dearmad mé guí ar an duine nach mbeadh ach, d'fhéadfadh lig grá dom dó. Is gá dom a athrú go. Beidh mé i gcónaí a mamaí i spiorad. Gheall mé os comhair mo theaghlach creideamh go Ba mhaith liom, mar sin ábhar mo ghuí. Is gá dom a mheabhrú go. Is dóigh liom ciontach mar a fheiceann mé gach ceann de tú ag fulaingt tríd. Roghnú a dhéanamh ar an stuif crua a dhéanamh, na rudaí ceart, a chur ar do chailín mór (buachaill) mionbhrístíní (dhornálaithe?) I measc na staideanna fíor horrendous nach féidir le tuismitheoirí an chuid is mó a shamhlú. Féidir liom a shamhlú. Bhí mé ann. Ach níl mé níos mó. Is iad na measa agam chun déileáil leis an tantrums erratic de addict infantile teacht chucu féin, agus an tantrums aois chuí ar miracle iontach, ar y 2 / ch. Is dóigh liom dona faoi sin. I mo thuairimse, faoi gach ceann de tú nuair a mé sa phost nuashonruithe FB faoi mo leanaí codlata tríd an oíche, nuair a bliain ó shin slept mé le ceann amháin cluaise oscailte, fial mé féin do an t-aláram blaring nó an fhuaim fuinneog shattering, agus tá a fhios agam go bhfuil tú ann . Shíl mé faoi tú inniu nuair a chuaigh mo Boy Busy Pee ar an potty don chéad uair, mar tá a fhios agam go bhfuil tú amach ann ag canadh "The Song Pee" agus ag éisteacht le cad a bhí do pháiste ag insint duit tríd a gcuid gníomhaíochtaí. An bhfuil sé aisteach a rá liom a chailleann sé? Yeah. Tá sé. An bhfuil sé an adrenaline a bhí ag feidhmiú muid de shíor sa mhéid gur addicted I a ghabhann leis? An bhfuil sé an bród a fhios agam go raibh mé post damnaigh maith le mo buachaillí a chailleann mé? Nó an bhfuil sé go dar liom mé a chailliúint maidir le mo phobal iontach mamas tráma agus Papas? Anois, tá a fhios agam, daor chairde, go nach bhfuil muid ag déanamh leis an turas go fóill. Go deimhin, tá a fhios agam go bhfuil againn ach ag na céimeanna an-luath ar ár dturas nua. Níl a fhios againn cad a aird ar leith go mbeidh ár littles lómhar de dhíth mar a fhásann siad. Níl a fhios againn cad a bheidh iarmhairtí tráma a nochtadh mar a théann siad in aois. Bhí faoi lé an dá do gach cineál de cacamas i lena máithreacha breithe 'wombs, mar sin a fhios cad a thabharfaidh, ach is dóigh liom mar is féidir liom a bheith chomh ullmhaithe mar is féidir aon mama a bheith. Níl mé scanraithe. Ní féidir liom a bhraitheann caillte nó faoi léigear. Is é sin mar gheall ar tú. Mar sin, tá a fhios, deartháireacha agus deirfiúracha lómhara, go bhfuil tú ar mo chroí go laethúil. Nach bhfuil mé dearmad a dhéanamh go bhfuil tú ag troid leis an gcomhrac maith, agus is cuimhin liom a shoot roinnt paidreacha arrow tromchúiseach i do threo. Agus beidh mé Pioc do brains, dáiríre, go leor, mar tá a fhios agam gur féidir liom muinín agat, agus ní bheidh rolla do shúile duit, nó a fháil scanraithe as. Bhí muid ag caoineadh níos mó ná leanaí caillte, agus leanaí riamh go raibh, Agus ansin, i mbrionglóid, a dúirt Dia liom d'ainm. Dúirt sé liom a fháil réidh ar do shon. Agus ansin ghlaoigh an teileafón, agus bhí leanbh a bhí an-tinn ar theastaigh a mam agus daidí a bhí a fhios conas aire a thabhairt leanaí breoite. Agus ansin dúirt muid yes, toisc go raibh Dia inis dúinn cheana féin go raibh tú ag teacht. Agus ansin tháinig tú. Agus bhí tú beag bídeach sin, agus dúirt mé Isa ar an nguthán cé chomh beag bídeach a bhí tú, agus chuir mé pictiúr, ach tá sé fós ní raibh a thuiscint. Agus 's tú go salach, mar sin ní mé láithreach tú i ndabhach te leis an ola lavender, agus bhí mé tú i pailme ar lámh amháin, agus fuair mé roinnt éadaí glan amach as an closet, ach bhí tú beag bídeach sin go bhfuil mé didn' T bhfuil rud ar bith beag go leor. Agus ansin tháinig Isa bhaile agus iontas cé chomh beag a bhí tú, agus conas a d'fhéach tú tinn. Agus ansin chuala muid caoin tú, agus chonaic muid an pian go raibh tú i, agus geallta againn chun cabhrú leat a leigheas, agus swaddled muid tú suas agus tú i seilbh a dhúnadh. Agus ní mé leat arís, toisc go smelled tú fós mhaith deataigh. Agus go raibh an tús. Agus ansin fuair tú níos mó, agus níos láidre, agus níos sláintiúla, agus smiley-ER, agus níos sona. Agus ansin amazed tú do gach duine le spiorad do ró-romhainn. Agus ansin tú mearbhall do dhochtúir, agus mar sin bhí againn a bheith foighneach. Agus ansin thosaigh tú chun rudaí a dhéanamh nach luath, déanach. Agus ansin bhí tú é seo, álainn sláintiúil, cailín leanbh láidir. Agus ansin tháinig tú linne in ár gcroí, agus thosaigh muid chun a chreidiúint d'fhéadfadh go mbeadh sé indéanta go mb'fhéidir go mbeadh tú ag fanacht. Agus ansin tháinig tú linne go deo. Bhuel, tá muid beagnach ann, nach bhfuil muid, Cailín Bitty? Bhí mé ag obair ar an bpost í gur deas tú a thabhairt isteach le mo Boy Busy álainn ar bhealach níos doimhne, ach díreach mar a bhí mé ag déanamh go, literally mar a bhí clóscríobh mé é, fuair muid le glao ag 11:30 a ghlacadh socrúchán éigeandála beirt chailíní, le 16 bliain d'aois, agus a beirt bliain d'aois deirfiúr beag. Dúirt muid tá a socrúchán sealadach. Go raibh mí ó shin. Tá an post ag fáil níos gaire a thabhairt chun críche, ach amháin nach "ann" go fóill. Tá Life with dhá dhá bhliain d'aois ar eachtra. Na codanna is fearr a bhfuil dhá bhliain d'aois in aghaidh na míosa ar leith go bhfuil siad siamsaíocht a chur ar a chéile, gach ceann eile cuideachta taitneamh a bhaint as, dom siamsaíocht a chur lena n-antics, agus ag foghlaim gach cineál rudaí spraoi le chéile. Na codanna is measa a bhfuil dhá bhliain d'aois in aghaidh na míosa ar leith é a mhúineadh siad a chéile ní-sin-spraoi nósanna, mbaineann siad taitneamh as screadaíl ar a chéile, go leor, ach le haghaidh spraoi, agus leis an Chomh maith lenár 8 mí d'aois, tá sé i ndáiríre deacair a fháil ar aon chores nó siopadóireacht a dhéanamh go héifeachtach. Na codanna is fearr ar a bhfuil 16 bliain d'aois sa teach ag fáil an deis a mhúineadh scileanna saoil tábhachtach, a spreagadh di go bhfuil sí ina duine ann ar féidir leo a roghanna a dhéanamh go maith, agus mo theach ag dul i ndáiríre glan nuair nach bhfuil sí a dhéanamh go maith den sórt sin roghanna. Tá an chuid is measa ar a bhfuil 16 bliain d'aois nach raibh múineadh scileanna saoil go leor cuí sa teach a dhéanann sé uaireanta is cosúil sé cosúil ní mór dúinn 3 leanaí óga. Bhraith mé an-scoite amach an mhí seo. Idir cuairteanna do na cailíní, teiripí, agus ceapacháin eile, ní raibh mé in ann a chaitheamh i bhfad ar aon am cáilíochta le cairde an mhí seo. Ní raibh muid a fháil fiú aon ní a dhéanamh ar ár chomóradh. Beidh na cailíní ach anseo le haghaidh eile na seachtaine, agus ansin tá mé ag súil gur féidir rudaí a réiteach síos i sceideal níos praiticiúla. Ugh! Tá sláinte Bitty s streachailt. Táimid ag a bhfuil saincheisteanna cógas, ach buíochas le Dia ní mór dúinn a pediatrician iontach atá ag obair an-deacair a dhéanamh cinnte go Bitty fhásann isteach an cailín healthiest is féidir léi a bheith. Anois go atá againn fuair roinnt de na rudaí Med faoi smacht, chinn Bitty bhí sé in am chun TÚS crawling! Tá sí i ngach áit! Is cloch mhíle riamh go bhfuair muid chun taithí le Súile Bright, mar gheall ar cé go bhog sí ar a baile nua nuair a bhí sí thart ar 9 mí d'aois, ní raibh sí tús crawling till a bhí sí beagnach bliain d'aois. Bitty i ndáiríre an chéad leanbh mé gotten chun taithí cloch mhíle seo leis, agus go bhfuil speisialta sin incredibly dom. Cé go bhfuil a fhorbairt mótair i gcónaí chun tosaigh ar an gcuar, tá Bitty roinnt riachtanais speisialta leanúnach mar thoradh ar na substaintí a bhí faoi lé sí i Utero. Ceann de na ceisteanna is go bhfuil sí ina kid an-céadfach-íogair. Startles sí i ndáiríre go héasca, agus faigheann ró-spreagadh gan rabhadh. Tá sí freisin go dtrioblóid ag tosú le bianna soladach. Ní bheidh sí ar oscailt a béal a ithe amach ar spúnóg, agus más rud é is féidir liom a bhainistiú a roinnt i ann, gags sí a fháil go dtí an pointe caitheamh suas chomh luath agus a bhuaileann sé an cúl a scornach. Beidh sí, áfach, a ithe scáinteoir Graham, cé go gcríochnaíonn an chuid is mó de sé suas ar a aghaidh agus cófra. Táimid tar éis an OT ag teacht amach an tseachtain seo chun cuidiú linn aghaidh a thabhairt ar na saincheisteanna seo, atá ag éirí níos níos mó de imní anois go bhfuil sí chomh soghluaiste. Foirmle ina n-aonar nach bhfuil a ghearradh ach é níos mó. Mar a luaigh mé ar feadh tamaill níos luaithe, Hubby agus a rith mé díreach tar éis bliain ar an 11ú. Crazy. An bhliain seo caite nach raibh againn a fháil chun ceiliúradh a dhéanamh toisc go raibh muid i lár ár n-cath le Jeremiah. I mbliana, ní raibh an iomarca ag dul ar aghaidh leis an ár bardaí atá ann faoi láthair. Is é mo lá breithe ag teacht suas an deireadh seachtaine seo, agus tá mé ag súil go Hubby agus beidh mé in ann a etch am éigin amach do gach ceann eile. Mhothaíonn sé gur deacair a breathe uaireanta le gach a bhfuil ar siúl, agus i mí Lúnasa ag dul a bheith NUTS! A Thiarna Íosa, déan trócaire! Gabe tháinig abhaile chun cuairt a thabhairt an deireadh seachtaine seo don chéad uair i níos mó ná bliain! Bhí sé iontach! Ní raibh absolutley aon awkwardness. Mé díreach tar éis taitneamh as am a chaitheamh le mo mhac. Plus, bhí sé Super cool a fheiceáil banna Boy Busy agus Bitty. Fuair mé roinnt pictiúir mór de mo 19 bliain d'aois a shealbhú agus ag súgradh le mo littles. Téite sé mo chroí sin i bhfad. Níl sé i gcónaí ag déanamh na roghanna is fearr, ach tá ár gcaidreamh a athchóiriú, agus go bhfuil níos mó ná súil agam ar feadh bliana ó shin. Plus, bhí sé i ndáiríre greannmhar ag breathnú air féachaint orm smacht na 16 bliana d'aois. Dúirt sé go raibh sé beagnach chun dul isteach sa chistin agus a "Tá sé ní hamháin fiú é!" Hehehe insint. Wonderful. Maith go leor, is dóigh liom go glanta mo inchinn amach roinnt cobwebs anois. Mar a dúirt mé sa phost seo caite, bhí a fhios againn go raibh a fhios Dia cad a bhí á dhéanamh aige, agus go fiú más rud é nach raibh an socrúchán SIB ag obair amach, go raibh sé ina chúis go raibh ullmhú sé dúinn. Mar fhocal scoir, dhá sheachtain tar éis fuair muid an atreorú tosaigh don ghrúpa sibling, thug ár gníomhaireachta dúinn glaoch a insint dúinn go raibh an athraitheas don teaghlach eile ceadaithe, mar sin ní ba mhaith linn a bheith ag fáil an 4-phacáiste, ach roimh thóg sí fiú anáil go raibh sí rud éigin eile a iarraidh orainn. D'iarr sí liom, toisc go raibh Hubby ag an obair, más rud é ba mhaith linn a mheas ag cur dhá bhliain d'aois buachaill. Sí féin agus a oibrí sannta chaith an nóiméad amach romhainn ar an teileafón cainteoir liom ag insint dom an beag a fhios acu mar gheall air. Bhí sé ach amháin faoi chúram ar feadh cúpla lá, agus cuireadh i dtús báire le teaghlach altrama a chinn nach raibh siad láimhseáil a tantrums. Dúirt siad liom go cosúil tantrums sé nuair a cloiseann sé "Níl," amas féin, agus amas a cheann ar an urlár. Gach Bhí mé ag smaoineamh ag an bpointe seo bhí, "An bhfuil nach bhfuil an teaghlach a fhios rud ar bith thart ar 2 bliain d'aois?" Gach rud eile mar gheall ar an buachaill a bhí thar a bheith dearfach, agus ní raibh an tantrums scanradh le beagán dom. I ndáiríre taitneamh a bhaint as i ndáiríre an láidir-willed-gnó a thagann le cochall tachrán-. Is breá liom conas atá siad ag forbairt ar a bhféiniúlacht féin, agus literally ag foghlaim conas a bheith an duine. Is breá liom a gcuid cruthaitheachta agus intleacht, agus conas is féidir leo cabhrú cheapann tú taobh amuigh den bhosca, mar a dhéanann siad é sin go nádúrtha. Anywho, Dúirt mé leo go mbeadh siad is dócha a fháil "Tá," ach bhí orm a ghlaoch Hubby ar dtús, mar sin d'iarr mé Hubby agus thug an lowdown, agus d'iarr sé orm a thabhairt dó ar uair an chloig chun smaoineamh agus pray faoi. Nuair a bhí an uair an chloig ar bun thug mé dó Buzz, agus dúirt sé "Is ea." Ní raibh sé fiú trialach "Is ea." Bhí sé an cineál freagra a thagann as a fhios agam síocháin fíor. Ba é sin Máirt. Bheadh sé a bheith ag teacht ar an lá dár gcionn. Bhí muid ag péinteáil a dhéanamh. Mar sidebar nach spraoi sin, fuair mé cás go dona ar an fliú boilg an deireadh seachtaine sin roimhe seo, mar sin ní raibh mé go maith do rud ar bith eile seachas ina luí ar an tolg sipping uisce. Go léir a chur ar ár gcuid pleananna a ullmhú le dea-rún ar a shealbhú, mar sin nuair a fuair muid an glaoch mar gheall ar an buachaill beag a bhí againn aon rogha ach chun dul isteach overdrive. Hubby tháinig abhaile ón obair agus fuair ceart chun péintéireacht. Chríochnaigh mé suas an cóta deiridh Dé Céadaoin ar maidin, ach uair an chloig roimh bheadh ár Guy beag nua a bheith ag teacht. Bhí a leithéid de easpa eolais ar an gceann seo beag go bhfuil muid i ndáiríre ní raibh a fhios agat cad a bheith ag súil. Nuair a tharraing ár n-oibrí isteach an cabhsa, bhí mé ar bís cinnte, ach ní neirbhíseach ar chor ar bith. Tá sé mothú aisteach, ag fanacht a fheiceáil cé a bheidh an duine beag a bheith. Riamh mé a thabhairt breithe, ach samhlaím go bhfuil sé den chineál céanna, ach amháin ní mór dúinn go minic ach ní bhíonn ach lá nó fiú uair an chloig fógra a réamh-mheas ar na baill nua ar ár teaghlaigh. An uair seo thar a bheith aisteach mar, murab ionann agus Súile Bright nó Bitty Babe, bhí an buachaill cheana 2 bhliain d'aois. Bhí sé 2 bliain de stair nach raibh muid mar chuid de. 2 bhliain iomlán de thaithí a mhúnlaigh a phearsantacht beag agus a dearcadh ar an saol a riamh go mbeadh a fhios againn an méid iomlán. Is é sin an rud éigin ar leith le cúram altrama agus taithí a ghlacadh atá deacair cur síos a dhéanamh go hiomlán. Anywho, ghlac an chásoibrí air as a suíochán cairr agus fuair mé mo chéad spléachadh ar ár theannta sin nua. Bhí sé beag bídeach ar feadh 27 mhí d'aois. Chaith sé hata duaithníocht gorm go bhfuil clúdaithe a gcuacha fionn sútha talún. A shúile gorm geal sparkled mar a dúirt sé ag dom agus aoibh agus dúirt sé rud éigin ina dteanga beag féin. Shroich sé suas chun dom agus scooped mé suas agus thug sé suas an staighre, agus le chéile ar siúl againn ar an doras ar oscailt le haghaidh an dá oibrithe (a oibrí agus oibrí in oiliúint) mar a thug siad ina stuif. Thóg sé ach cúpla nóiméad le haghaidh dom smaoineamh ar an leasainm idéalach chun an gaige beag. Mar a raced sé timpeall ár dteach, ag fiosrú gach mion ar an mbealach, fuair teideal mé "Boy Busy." Na hoibrithe (a oibrí agus a n-oibrithe caitheadh thart ar leath uair an chloig le linn, ag freagairt ceisteanna mar is fearr a d'fhéadfadh siad, agus breathnú ar a leibhéal chompord . Bhí siad araon tógtha ar conas observant a bhí sé agus conas go tapa figured sé amach an teach. Rud amháin a bhuail mé ar an bpointe boise a bhí conas a bhí Boy Busy Chliste. Thaispeáin mé dó a sheomra agus dúradh leis "Is é seo do sheomra!" Agus go raibh sin. Tá a chiall de greann ghabháil dom as garda. Ag pointe amháin, fad is a bhí na hoibrithe fós anseo, fuair sé brat beag, clúdaithe féin suas, agus lig a snore. Scáinte mé suas! Anywho, raibh mé in ann labhairt faoi Boy Busy pearsantacht iontach an lá ar fad, agus beidh mé cinnte a bheith ag leathnú níos mó mar gheall ar a cúpla lá den chéad uair le linn, ach do anois beidh mé a rá go bhfuil an chéad imprisean níos fearr ná raibh mé in ann a shamhlú. Tá sé cinnte láidir-willed, agus a úsáidtear chun dul a bhealach, ach a "tantrums dian" a bhí laughable, agus d'fhreagair sé láithreach leis an timpeallacht struchtúrtha ar fáil againn. Níl a fhios againn cad atá i ndán do cheachtar de na cinn beag, ach tá rudaí gceannteideal cinnte i dtreo an téarma fada le haghaidh an dá rud. Is é seo an am spreagúil do Hubby agus mé féin. Chuir muid laethúil ár teaghlaigh i lámha an Tiarna, agus táimid ag baint suilt as gach nóiméad go bhfuilimid bheannaigh leis na seoide beag. Breis faoi taitneamh a bhaint as mam-cochall níos déanaí. An dá anuas sheachtain a bheith ina sciobtha de mhothúcháin, roghanna crua, agus luach saothair mór. Mar a dúirt mé i mo bhlag físeán seo caite, bhí muid aghaidh leis an deis a ghlacadh i ngrúpa sibling de 4 cinn beag. Chuaigh muid chun freastal orthu agus thit i ngrá. An t-oibrí DHS ag iarraidh orainn a ghlacadh ar an dá leanaí an oíche, radharc unseen, ach ní raibh muid compordach leis an socrú sin. I gcás amháin, bhí againn chun labhairt le Rachel mar gheall air. Is é seo a teach freisin, tar éis gach. Mar sin, dúradh linn an t-oibrí go raibh gá againn le cúpla lá chun smaoineamh agus pray faoi, ansin ba mhaith linn a dhéanamh ar ár gcinneadh. Bheadh sé a bheith ina athrú ar an saol mór, ag cur ar cheithre, go háirithe ceithre sin óg (6 mhí, 2, 4, agus 6), ach bhí muid ar cheann nagging ceist ag ár gcroí nach mbeadh dul díreach amach: Más rud é nach linn, a? Mar sin, guí orainn faoi ar feadh dhá lá, agus ansin thóg muid an léim an chreidimh agus dúirt "Tá!" Rinne muid an cinneadh mar theaghlach; Rachel, Hubby, agus bhí mé féin go léir a bheith i gcomhaontú, agus bhí muid. Bhí imní cinnte, rudaí a freaked muid amach go hiomlán, ach sa deireadh bhí a fhios againn go raibh muid a bheith obedient agus a rá cad a bhí ár gcroí ag caoineadh, agus bhí siad ag caoineadh do na páistí. Mar sin, tar éis a dúirt muid yes, tar éis fanacht againn. Fhan muid a chloisteáil cad a bhí an chéad chéim eile ag dul a bheith agus nuair a bheadh na páistí ag teacht abhaile. A cinneadh i againn a bheith a socrúchán altrama seo caite, mar sin bhíomar ag iarraidh a bheith chomh hullmhaithe agus is féidir. Thosaigh muid láithreach a ullmhú ár n-bhaile agus chuir mé amach SOS le gach duine a d'fhéadfadh a thugann aire a thosú soláthairtí a bhailiú. Oddly, ní raibh cumarsáid beag ó DHS an chontae na páistí cónaí faoi láthair isteach Bhí sé lá roimh chuala muid rud ar bith, agus ansin cad a chuala muid go raibh nach raibh an t-oibrí DHS cinnte faoi na socrúchán ar bith níos mó. Shíl sí go raibh muid "standoffish" ag an gcruinniú, a fuair muid thar a bheith scéal é, bheadh duine ar bith a bhfuil aithne aige orainn ar chor ar bith. Bhí muid ar dhaoine eatarthu thar a bheith, go háirithe tar éis a rinne sí ar dtús chun a fháil ar ár gcumas a chur ar an páistí láithreach, gan riamh freastal ar fiú dúinn. Anywho, bhí ár gníomhaireachta stiúrthóir cúram altrama iontach idirghabhálaí mór agus iarracht a fháil ar rudaí figured amach, ach an t-oibrí DHS a bhí á thar a bheith mearbhall ar gach taobh. Ach choinnigh muid ag ullmhú. Sin Dé Luain seo chugainn bhí orm taisteal suas ar a mbealach chun Bitty Babe a thabhairt chuig an dochtúir le ceapachán, agus a n-DHS oibrí shíl mé go mbeadh sé ag smaoineamh maith dúinn chun freastal ar na páistí arís, chun iad a fháil chun sinn a fheiceáil, agus le linn a a fháil fhreagairt ceist ar bith, ós rud é dúradh linn ag an bpointe seo go mbeadh an t-aistriú i an dáta a bheith go Dé hAoine. Rachel a bhí ag dul a bheith liom, mar sin bheadh a bheith go deis iontach do di a freagairt dóibh. An cruinniú a bhí i ndáiríre, i ndáiríre corr. Bhí am iontach ag imirt leis na páistí, ach an t-oibrí DHS imithe! Nuair nár léirigh sí ar ais ar bun, ní bheadh sí freagra ar aon cheann de mo chuid ceisteanna. Bhí sí á incredibly elusive, fiú le rudaí simplí mar mhéideanna éadaí na páistí 'agus roghanna bia. Shíl mé go b'fhéidir sí nach raibh ach ag iarraidh a labhairt os comhair na leanaí, mar sin d'iarr mé uirthi más rud é go raibh muid ábalta labhairt níos déanaí an tráthnóna sin, agus dúirt sí go mbeadh sí a thabhairt dom glao tar éis thit sí na páistí amach. Ní raibh sí ag glaoch. Ní raibh sí ag glaoch ar an lá dár gcionn ach an oiread, tar éis d'fhág mé léi teachtaireacht ag iarraidh í a THOIL a thabhairt dom glao ar ais. Sí riamh ar a dtugtar. Cad ar fud an domhain a bhí suas? Ar deireadh, fuair mé glao ó ár gníomhaireachta rá go raibh an t-oibrí DHS ag obair le teaghlaigh éagsúla ag iarraidh a fháil dóibh gach ceithre, ach bhí siad 4 cheana féin, agus mar sin go raibh siad ag obair ar fáil dóibh Athraitheas, ó 8 os cionn an teorainn ceadúnaithe stáit. Táimid (ár oibrí gníomhaireachta san áireamh) a bhí dumbfounded! Go tobann, bhí na táblaí iompú go hiomlán. An t-oibrí DHS chuaigh ó handing thar an radharc leanaí unseen, go hiomlán ag athrú a tune agus ag iarraidh a choinneáil ar na páistí ina chontae. Ba é an chuid a frustrated dom an unprofessionalism le rá linn ar, a ligeann dúinn leanúint ar aghaidh ag ullmhú do na páistí, fiú tar éis dúinn teacht amach agus níos mó ama a chaitheamh leo, nuair a go léir agus go raibh sí plean eile. Chomh maith leis sin, bhí an easpa cumarsáide an-irritating. Cén fáth nach raibh sí ach a insint dúinn go raibh iniúchadh siad roghanna eile? Cén fáth nach raibh sí ag glaoch orm ar ais nuair a dúirt sí go mbeadh sí? CUMARSÁID, DAOINE! Anywho, fiú tar éis dúradh linn mar gheall ar an phlean nua, bhí muid fós ag fanacht a fheiceáil má bheadh an athraitheas a bheith ceadaithe le haghaidh an teaghlaigh eile. Más rud é nach raibh sé ceadaithe, ná mar ba mhaith linn a bheith ar an rogha amháin a choinneáil ar an 4 le chéile. Mar sin, tar éis fanacht againn. Idir an dá linn, bhí a fhios againn go fiú más rud é nach raibh an socrúchán ag obair amach, go raibh an Tiarna a ullmhú linn le haghaidh ar chúis. Cibé an raibh sé ach a fheidhmiú i obedience, nó cibé an raibh sé leanbh eile i gcuimhne go bhfuil Theastaigh sé a oscailt ár gcroí ar, bhí a fhios againn go raibh sé plean a bhí níos mó ná aon oibrí DHS. Ar deireadh, thug an am atá caite Dé Máirt ár gníomhaireachta dúinn glaoch a insint dúinn go raibh an athraitheas don teaghlach eile ceadaithe, mar sin ní ba mhaith linn a bheith ag fáil an 4-phacáiste, ach roimh thóg sí fiú anáil raibh sí rud éigin eile a iarraidh orainn ... . Things a bheith mhothúchánach le déanaí a rá a laghad. Cheap mé go raibh sé in am a roinnt mo chroí le leat arís. I leithscéal as an fad ... Go leor de na drámaíochta sosanna. Beannachtaí! Hannah BTW, tá mé cinnte atá tú faoi deara go bhfuil mé fós mo Nollag téama suas. Hubby bhí dÚsachtach gnóthach, a chur mar sin tá sé thar a bheith mildly, agus mar sin mé ag súil a fháil ar an téama earrach suas roimh Go raibh maith agat a thabhairt! Bitty Babe Tá ag éirí go maith. Tá sí ag fás cosúil le fiailí agus fáil níos mó agus níos idirghníomhaí gach lá. Tá sí beagnach 13 seachtaine d'aois agus tá sé ag déanamh gach rud ba chóir na míosa 3 d'aois be.She giggles agus COOS, tá bréagáin grabbing, agus fiú fuair a bharraicíní le linn diaper athrú ar an lá eile. Bhí a cógais wean ag dul go maith, agus tar éis a bout gearr le bug boilg tseachtain seo caite, a ba chúis le hairíonna a tharraingt siar is déine mhaith le feiceáil againn go fóill, tá sí ar ais ar an rian a bheith go hiomlán Med-saor in aisce i thart ar mhí. Sin an sprioc, mar sin féin. D'fhéadfadh rud ar bith a leagtar an dáta sin ar ais, ach tá súil againn go mbeidh sí Med-saor in aisce roimh Hubby agus ceann mé go dtí an Tuismitheoireachta i SPÁS comhdháil i mí Aibreáin. Bheadh sé sin go maith. Chomh fada agus mar a bheidh ... rud ar bith. Níl. Rud. Agus nach bhfuil ann dul chun bheith aon ghluaiseacht go dtí an dáta cúirte eile, nach bhfuil go dtí mí Aibreáin. Sin crua. Is é seo an rud neamhchinnteacht crua. Idir an dá linn, leanann sí a leigheas. Tá mé chomh sásta a bheith mar chuid de sin. Mo chroí briseadh i ndáiríre do na cinn beag atá os comhair tús an-deacair i saol mar gheall ar a máthar roghanna selfish. Tá mé ag thiocfaidh cathú i ndáiríre a fháil ar mo bhosca gallúnach le déanaí faoi sin shaincheist ar leith. Cé atá ag cosaint na leanaí ó roghanna a athróidh a saol go deo? Tá tú ag dul a insint dom go toisc go bhfuil siad fós ina broinn na máthar, go bhfuil aon rud is féidir linn a dhéanamh? Go bhfuil siad fós a máthair chorp, agus is féidir leo a dhéanamh cad ba mhaith leo a bhfuil a n-chomhlacht? Ó, féach mé, gur mhaith leat fanacht in áit go dtí a bheirtear iad agus ag dul trí, comharthaí a tharraingt siar Uafásach dian nár chóir duine fásta a chur faoi réir roimh chinneadh tú go bhfuil sí ag troid fiú do. Nope. Ní ciall a bhaint as. Maith go leor, am soapbox go leor. Is breá liom ach na leanaí. Beidh mé ag troid dóibh oiread agus is féidir liom. Agus ní ba mhaith liom a bheith in ann a roinnt go mór faoi cén fáth sucked sé, mar sin tá sé ní hamháin fiú é. 2012 Tá tús curtha amach le tráma beagán níos lú, mar gheall go raibh muid ach amháin maidir le beannacht a rá le Súile geal (ainm nua Babaí E, bhí an cuz 'rud ar fad tosaigh ag éirí ró-mearbhaill.) Ach ar a laghad go bhfuil sí i dteach, grámhar Godly, i gcás ina Tá sí lena beirt deirfiúracha, agus gar go leor gur féidir linn cuairt a thabhairt uirthi ar bhonn rialta. Sin an fáth tá sé tráma lú. Bitty Babe (ainm nua Babaí A san áireamh) ag déanamh go han-mhaith, agus anois go bhfuil mé ach 1 leanbh chun díriú ar, tá rudaí calmed síos go mór. Tá sí ina rud milis beag, ach tá ag streachailt i ndáiríre lena bpróiseas bhaint den chíoch. Tá sí i bhfad níos mó docht agus spastic ná Súile Bright riamh. Tá sí i bpian an chuid is mó den am, mar sin má tá sí awake, tá sé annamh go nach bhfuil sí ag gol. Ní féidir liom fanacht go dtí go bhfuil sí déanta go hiomlán lena wean ionas gur féidir linn a fheiceáil cad a bheidh cailín beag a fháil chun cinn. Is cás Bitty ionas suas san aer ag an bpointe seo nach bhfuil aon smaoineamh cá fhad a bheidh sí le linn. Tá a lán de na teaghlaigh i gceist, mar sin tá sé indéanta go bhféadfadh duine éigin céim suas faoi choimeád a ghlacadh ag aon phointe, ach ní go bhfuil an tuiscint go bhfuil mé ag fáil. Cuairteanna go dtí seo níor bheith comhsheasmhach, mar sin beidh orainn a fheiceáil conas a fhorbraíonn go. Tá Hubby agus mé beagán níos mó cosanta leis an socrúchán mar gheall ar an briseadh croí a tharla le Súile geal. Is mian linn a dhéanamh cinnte go bhfuil muid an fhaisnéis go léir is féidir sula geallaimid aon chinneadh. Chun anois, is é ár post chun grá Bitty chomh hiomlán agus is féidir linn ionas gur féidir linn a thabhairt di an deis chéanna a rathú mar a rinne muid le haghaidh Súile geal. Ár cailíní leanbh bhí ambasadóirí iontach an ngá atá le tuismitheoirí altrama. Bheirt acu a bheith idir lámha aird an oiread sin nuair a bhíonn muid amach agus torthaí sé beagnach i gcónaí i amháin ar a laghad comhrá maith mar gheall ar an ngá atá le tuismitheoirí altrama inár bpobal. Ar an drochuair, tá na comhráite de ghnáth ar an frása / ceist go bhfuil mé teacht ar dread agus ghrain. Tagann sé amach rud éigin cosúil le "Ó, ní raibh mé in ann é sin a dhéanamh. Conas is féidir leat a thabhairt dóibh ar ais? "Nó" Ní gcuireann sé tú a mharú ach nuair a bhfuil tú a thabhairt dóibh ar ais? "Nó, an ceann is measa ar fad," Oh, ní raibh mé in ann é sin a dhéanamh. Ba mhaith liom grá ach iad iomarca. " Mar más rud é nach bhfuil muid grá dóibh le gach ceann dár gcroíthe. Mar más rud é go bhfuil sé éasca dúinn a sheoladh ar na leanaí ar aghaidh go dtí cuma cad é i ndán dóibh. Sé ar a dtugtar íobairt, daoine! Is breá linn dóibh go hiomlán ionas go mbeidh a fhios againn nach raibh muid a shealbhú rud ar bith ar ais. Tugaimid dóibh gach a bhfuil againn a thabhairt ionas riamh go mór dúinn a Wonder "An bhfaca a dhéanfaidh mé go leor?" Táimid a thabhairt dóibh an bronntanas le bannaí láidir. An bronntanas a fhios agam go raibh grá acu agus chothaímid. Ní sábháilteachta ach, cé go bhfuil go criticiúil, ach a chothú. Níl mé láidir go leor, ach nach bhfuil an grá uaim. Mé pas ach é a chur ar. Conas is féidir roghnaigh mé feasach go dtí méid nach é sin a dhéanamh? Maith go leor. Scaoilte os a chionn. Cé a fhios cad a bheidh an séasúr seo chugainn a thabhairt, ach súil agam cinnte as rud éigin níos fearr.