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Yog vim li cas raug kev txiav txim thiab kev thuam tau lig “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” – Aristotle For anyone who has undertaken an inner transformation journey, grown or evolved they know all too well that personal transformation often goes hand-in-hand with criticism or judgment from the people in their lives. When people in our lives become accustomed to us being a certain way they may feel uncomfortable and even threatened by our new self. Since they are used to relating to us from the person we used to be, it can feel slightly unfamiliar for them to interact with the new person who has emerged. For the most part the self-explorer gets used to this. Since they are still becoming accustomed to navigating their way through life and relationships from a perspective that is not like the one they used to operate from, it begins to become a learning experience for everyone involved. Tab sis npog, no one is perfect. There’s always going to be that time where they find themselves defending their new beliefs and perhaps even trying to desperately convince others of their new discoveries about life. If you have found yourself letting another person’s questioning of your new transformation journey get the best of you, don’t worry, you are hardly alone. In order to not only survive the criticism by the people in our lives but also use it as a very important tool in our personal development journey, we must do probably the hardest thing to do when one feels attacked… say thank you. “If you are really aware every soul is a mirror and a teacher.” – Tsis paub hais tias It’s not going to be easy. Actually, it’s probably one of the toughest pills to swallow in this whole self-awareness process. But the fact of the matter is, if someone’s judgment of us has the power to bring about a strong emotional reaction such as anger or defensiveness there is a part of us that feels threatened by it. There’s a part of us that is still clinging to an idea about ourselves that it needs to defend its position against said judgment. Our ego feels that it has been challenged therefore it needs to bring out the guns and get prepared for war. What we are truly trying to hide from the other person and most likely ourselves as well, is that we fear that what they are saying may actually be true. maj mam xav. Suppose someone has criticized you for something you are completely confident about and know for a fact is not true about yourself, would you be mad? Tsis yog, because there is not one single ounce of you that is buying into its validity. Or suppose a small child challenges you to a fist fight. Is there any part of you that would consider for the tiniest second to fight back? Absolutely not. You wouldn’t because there is no part of you that would feel threatened by a child. When we look at things from this perspective we can see that anytime we find ourselves “fighting back”, or defending ourselves it can only be because either we fear that what another person is saying could actually be right, or our sense of self (ego) has been challenged. Now before we start to feel really ashamed of ourselves because let’s face it, each and every person who has undertaken this path has gone through this at one time or another, we must focus on how we can actually use this to our advantage. In a study in the Review of General Psychology, 2001, researchers find that perceived “bad” los sis “tsis zoo” events or emotions can actually be more beneficial to us because they not only are more motivating than perceived “good” emotions but also, people that are able to overcome such things evolve quicker and are easily able to adapt to change and new circumstances. Instead of looking at ourselves as a “victim” of another’s behavior, we can instead take their judgment of us from the perspective that it has happened FOR us. It is trying to show us where we may still need work. Piv txwv, let’s say our goal is to become more patient. Instead of expecting that we just are going to magically become patient, we are instead given opportunities to practice being patient. So every traffic jam, every conversation with our co-worker that just never seems to get to the point, are gifts given to us to help us achieve our goal. Finding the “lesson” inside all our interactions can become something that we embrace completely because we soon find that every fight or argument we find ourselves in is actually a chance for us to drop another limited belief about life or ourselves. Soon it becomes automatic, we find ourselves getting upset or threatened and our automatic reaction begins to turn our attention inward and identify where our ego is attached. We actually become…. gasp… thankful for criticism! “Love is the absence of judgment.” – Dalai Lama The final judgment to overcome is the judgment of the one who judges. For the person on the spirituality/ self-awareness journey we know this one all too well. We have become so enamored with the idea that we shouldn’t judge others, that we begin judging those who judge. Txawm li cas los, at some point this concept of judging a judgmental person is one that must be overcome as well. Unconditional love cannot exist side by side with judgment. The only thing to be done at this point is to love all of it. Love every judgment you receive from another because it is only meant to unveil another part of the illusory self/ego that you were clinging to. Love the judgment you made on the person who judged you because to love is to be aware of it. When we simply observe the judgment in our heads without identifying with it, we find that we no longer cling to our judgments nor to the judgments about us made by others. Just like our thoughts are not OUR thoughts, but just merely thoughts, so are theirs. Everything is calling us back to acceptance and love. It is only when we become completely grateful for all criticism that we are able to rise above them and an inner confidence begins to shine. We are confident and grateful because we realize that each situation in our life is only happening to teach us something about ourselves that will ultimately help us find unconditional love for ourselves which eventually spills over to others. Duab los Lub plawv Breaking free from judgment
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Zašto Presuda i kritika je zapravo koristan “Postoji samo jedan način da se izbjegne kritike: Imate ništa, kažu ništa, i biti ništa.” – Aristotel Za svakoga tko je poduzela unutarnji put transformacije, grown or evolved they know all too well that personal transformation often goes hand-in-hand with criticism or judgment from the people in their lives. Kad su ljudi u našim životima navikli da nam se na neki način oni mogu osjećati nelagodno, pa čak i prijeti našoj novoj sebe. Budući da se oni koriste za odnose s nama od osobe smo nekad, it can feel slightly unfamiliar for them to interact with the new person who has emerged. Za veći dio self-istraživač navikne na to. Budući da još uvijek postaju navikli na navigaciju svoj put kroz život i odnose iz perspektive koja nije kao onaj što se koristi za rad s, it begins to become a learning experience for everyone involved. Ali, nitko nije savršen. There’s always going to be that time where they find themselves defending their new beliefs and perhaps even trying to desperately convince others of their new discoveries about life. If you have found yourself letting another person’s questioning of your new transformation journey get the best of you, ne brinite, ti si jedva sami. Kako bi se ne samo preživjeti kritike od strane ljudi u našim životima, ali i koristiti ga kao vrlo važan alat u našem osobnom putu razvoja, moramo učiniti je vjerojatno najteže učiniti kada se osjeća napadnut… reći hvala. “Ako ste stvarno svjesni svaka duša je ogledalo i učitelj.” – Nepoznato To neće biti lako. Zapravo, to je vjerojatno jedan od najtežih pilula za progutati u cijeli proces samo-svijesti. No, činjenica je, Ako netko je presuda od nas ima moć da donese jake emocionalne reakcije poput ljutnje ili obrambeni stav je dio nas koji se osjeća ugroženo njega. There’s a part of us that is still clinging to an idea about ourselves that it needs to defend its position against said judgment. Our ego feels that it has been challenged therefore it needs to bring out the guns and get prepared for war. Ono što doista pokušavaju sakriti od druge osobe i vjerojatno sebe i, je da se boje da je ono što govore zapravo može biti istina. Razmislite o tome. Pretpostavimo da je netko vas je kritiziran zbog nečega što ste u potpunosti sigurni o tome i znam za činjenicu nije istina o sebi, bi li se ljutiti? Ne, because there is not one single ounce of you that is buying into its validity. Ili recimo malo dijete te izazove u prvoj borbi. Je li bilo koji dio vas koji će uzeti u obzir za najsitniji drugi da se bori natrag?Apsolutno ne. Ne bi, jer ne postoji dio tebe koji bi se osjećati ugroženo dijete. Kada gledamo na stvari iz ove perspektive možemo vidjeti da bilo kada smo se nalazimo “bore natrag”, ili se brane to može biti samo zato što ni bojimo se da je ono što druga osoba govori može zapravo biti u pravu, ili naš osjećaj sebe (ja) je izazvao. Sada prije nego što počnemo osjećati jako sramiti sebe, jer budimo realni, svaka osoba koja je poduzela ovaj put je prošao kroz to u jednom ili drugom trenutku, moramo se usredotočiti na to kako smo se zapravo može koristiti to u našu korist. In a study in the Review of General Psychology, 2001, Znanstvenici smatraju da je percipirana “loše” ili “negativan” događaji ili emocije zapravo može biti koristan za nas, jer oni ne samo da su više motivirajuće od percipiraju “dobro” emocije, ali i, people that are able to overcome such things evolve quicker and are easily able to adapt to change and new circumstances. Umjesto da gleda na sebe kao “žrtva” tuđeg ponašanja, umjesto toga možemo uzeti svoj sud o nama iz perspektive da se dogodilo za nas. Ona pokušava nam pokazati gdje smo ipak morati raditi. Na primjer, recimo naš cilj je da se više strpljivi. Umjesto očekujući da smo samo će magično postati strpljivi, mi umjesto da se daje mogućnost da prakticiraju strpljiv. Dakle, svaki zastoj u prometu, every conversation with our co-worker that just never seems to get to the point, are gifts given to us to help us achieve our goal. Pronalaženje “lekcija” u svim našim kontaktima može postati nešto što mi prihvaćamo u potpunosti, jer smo ubrzo uvidjeti da je svaki borba ili argument smo se našli u je zapravo prilika za nas da ispadne još ograničeno uvjerenje o životu i nama samima. Uskoro postaje automatska, nađemo dobivanje uzrujan ili prijeti i naša automatska reakcija počinje skrenuti pozornost prema unutra i utvrditi gdje je naš ego je u prilogu. Mi zapravo postaju…. zadihanost… zahvalan za kritiku! “Ljubav je odsustvo presude.” – Dalaj Lama Konačna presuda u prevladavanju je presuda jednog koji sudi. Za osobu na duhovnosti / putovanje samospoznajni znamo ovaj predobro. Postali smo toliko zaljubljen s idejom da se ne trebamo suditi drugima, da počnemo suditi onima koji sude. Me?utim, u nekom trenutku to koncept sudeći prosudbe osoba je ona koja mora biti prevladana i. Bezuvjetna ljubav ne može postojati rame uz rame s presudom. Jedino što se može učiniti u ovom trenutku jest da ljubav sve to. Ljubav svaku presudu koju primate od drugih, jer je to značilo samo predstaviti drugi dio iluzorne sebe / ega koji su držeći se. Ljubav presuda koju je napravio na osobu koja vam suditi jer voljeti znači biti svjestan. Kad mi jednostavno promatrati presudu u našim glavama, bez identifikacije s njom, nalazimo da mi više ne drže našim procjenama, niti se presuda o nama od strane drugih. Baš kao i naše misli nisu naše misli, ali samo samo misli, tako da su njihovi. Sve nas poziva natrag na prihvaćanje i ljubav. To je samo kad smo postali potpuno zahvalni za sve kritike koje smo u mogućnosti da se podigne iznad njih i unutarnje povjerenje počinje sjati. Uvjereni smo i zahvalni jer smo shvatili da je svaka situacija u našem životu događa se samo da nas nauče nešto o sebi što će u konačnici pomoći da pronađemo bezuvjetnu ljubav za sebe što na kraju prelijeva drugima. Izvor slike Heart Breaking free from judgment