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Getting Started Why does the Church teach that marriage is a sacrament? Because it is sacred. Marriage is to be a union of love, and the sacraments make Christ, the author of all love, present in our midst. For this reason, marriage between two baptized persons is a sacrament. Like the other sacraments, marriage is not just for the good of individuals or the couple but also for the community as a whole. The Old Testament prophets saw the marriage of a man and woman as a symbol of the covenant relationship between God and his people. The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment between God and his people. Paul's Letter to the Ephesians says that this union is a symbol of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Do Catholics ever validly enter into non-sacramental marriages? Yes. Marriages between Catholics and non-Christians, while they may still be valid in the eyes of the Church, are non-sacramental. They are still blessed by God, and with permission a priest or deacon may witness such marriages. What is the difference between a valid and an invalid Catholic marriage? Just as individual governments have certain requirements for civil marriage (e.g., a marriage license, blood tests), the Catholic Church also has requirements before Catholics can be considered validly married in the eyes of the Church. A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements: (1) the spouses are free to marry; (2) they freely exchange their consent; (3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another, and to be open to children; and (4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by Church authority. If a Catholic wants to marry a non-Catholic, how can he or she assure that the marriage is recognized by the Church? In addition to meeting the criteria for a valid Catholic marriage (see question #3), the Catholic must seek permission from the local bishop to marry a non-Catholic. If the person is a non-Catholic Christian, this permission is called "permission to enter into a mixed marriage." If the person is a non-Christian, the permission is called "dispensation from disparity of cult. " The priest or deacon helping to prepare the couple for marriage can assist with this permission process. Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church? Marriage is not just a private or family event but also a Church event. For this reason, the Church teaches that marriage should be celebrated in the midst of the community, like in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place. If a Catholic wishes to marry in a place outside a Catholic church, how can he or she be sure that the marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid? The local bishop can permit a wedding to take place in another church or in another suitable place for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church, and the father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances the bishop could permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church. The permission in these instances is called "dispensation from canonical form." As long as the couple follows proper protocol, including having a priest or deacon present to witness the wedding, the marriage would be recognized as valid by the Catholic Church. A priest or deacon would help the couple with the requirements. If two Catholics, or a Catholic and non-Catholic, are married invalidly in the eyes of the Church, what should they do? They should approach a priest or deacon to resolve the situation. When a Catholic marries a non-Catholic, must the couple promise to raise the children in the Catholic faith? The non-Catholic spouse does not have to promise to have the children raised Catholic. However, the Catholic spouse must promise to do all that he or she can do to have the children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith. Is it required that a wedding celebration have expensive flowers, clothes, and other accompaniments? The Rite of Marriage makes no reference to any of these cultural elements. The focus of the couple should be on the celebration of the sacrament. Many priests and deacons repeatedly emphasize that a couple does not have to postpone celebrating the Sacrament of Marriage because they can not afford such things. How much does it cost to get married in the Catholic Church? Individual parishes regulate the stipend, or offering to the church, that is customary on the occasion of a wedding. This might also include a fee for the organist and vocalist if this is included in the ceremony. In a situation of true financial difficulty, however, couples can come to an agreement with the pastor so that true financial hardship would never prevent a marriage from taking place. What is a Nuptial Mass and when can a couple have one? A Nuptial Mass is a Mass that includes the celebration of the Sacrament of Marriage. It has special readings and prayers suitable to the celebration of the sacrament. The Sacrament of Marriage between two baptized Catholics should normally be celebrated with a Nuptial Mass. If the situation warrants, and the local bishop gives permission, a Nuptial Mass may be celebrated for a marriage between a Catholic and a baptized person who is not a Catholic, except that Communion is not given to the non-Catholic spouse and non-Catholic guests. In such instances, it is better to use the appropriate ritual for marriage outside of Mass. The celebration of a marriage without a Nuptial Mass is always the case in a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptized person. What should a couple do when they decide that they want to marry in the Catholic Church? They should contact their parish as soon as possible and make an appointment to talk with the priest, deacon, or staff person responsible for preparing couples for marriage. This must be done at least six months prior to the proposed date of the wedding. It is important that it be done before any of the arrangements for the wedding are made, e.g. renting a hall, hiring a disc jockey, etc. The priest, deacon, or staff person will explain the process of marriage preparation and the various preparation programs that are available. Why does the Church require engaged couples to participate in a marriage preparation program? You can only love something that you know, and as your knowledge increases so can your love deepen. As part of its pastoral responsibility the Church requires every couple to participate in a marriage prep program in order that they will be properly ready to be married. Marriage preparation offers couples the opportunity to develop a better understanding of Christian marriage; to evaluate and deepen their readiness to live married life; and to gain insights into themselves as individuals and as a couple. It is especially effective in helping couples to deal with the challenges of the early years of marriage. What key issues are covered in marriage preparation? Marriage preparation programs help couples to understand both the practical and spiritual realities of married life. Typical topics include the meaning of marriage as a sacrament; faith, prayer and the Church; roles in marriage; communication and conflict resolution; children, parenthood, and Natural Family Planning; finances; and family of origin. Is there a cost for marriage preparation programs? Most programs charge a modest fee to cover the cost of materials. Programs that require an overnight stay include an additional cost for rooms and meals. Assistance is frequently available for couples who would otherwise be unable to participate.
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Sakrament ženidbe Brak se zasniva ženidbenim savezom ili neopozivom obostranom privolom kojom se supruzi jedno drugome slobodno i uzajamno predaju i primaju. A to jedinstveno sjedinjenje muškarca i žene kao i dobro djece iziskuje potpunu vjernost bračnih drugova i nerazrješivo jedinstvo veze. Sama ustanova ženidbe i bračna ljubav usmjerene su po svojoj prirodnoj svojstvenosti k rađanju i odgoju djece, i u njima nalaze svoju krunu. Sakramentom ženidbe kršćanski supruzi označuju otajstvo jedinstva i plodne ljubavi između Krista i Crkve i u njemu imaju udjela. Katolici koji još nisu primili sakrament potvrde neka ga prime prije sklapanja braka. Prije sklapanja ženidbe mora biti sigurno da se ništa ne protivi njezinu valjanom i dopuštenom sklapanju. Neka se ženidba slavi u župi jednoga ili drugoga vjenčanika. Ženidba je naravna ustanova koju sačinjavaju muškarac i žene, duševno, osjećajno i fizički tijesno povezani u doživotnu zajednicu. Ona se sastoji u međusobnom darivanju i primanju dviju osoba različita spola te u zajedničkom životu, stanovanju i pomaganju, zatim u rađanju i odgojoju djece. Ženidbeni ugovor dvoje kršćanskih vjernika nije samo pravni čin nego i sakrament. Kršćansko vjenčanje nije samo pravni čin i službeni ugovor nego i duhovni savez između Boga i ljudi te supružnika međusobno. Prema katoličkoj tradiciji djelitelji sakramenta ženidbe su mladenci. Svećenik ili đakon je kvalificirani svjedok, čija se nazočnost traži za valjanost braka. On je jamac njegove sakramentalnosti i valjanosti. Da bi katolička ženidba bila valjana kao sakrament, treba ispuniti tri bitna uvjeta: - da ženidbu sklapaju za to sposobne osobe; - da oboje vjernika daje slobodan međusobni pristanak na brak; - da svoju privolu izraze na zakonit način (forma canonica). Od 1. srpnja 1999. katolici nisu više dužni sklapati ženidbu pred državnim službenikom. Dovoljno je da to učine samo u crkvenom obliku, to jest pred crkvenim službenikom i pred dvama svjedocima. Time oni postaju pred Bogom i Crkvom pravi muž i žena, a na civilnom području uživaju ista prava kao i oni koji su skopili samo civilnu ženidbu. Priređeno prema: Sveti zbor obreda, Rimski obrednik. Red slavljenja ženidbe, Kršćanska sadašnjost, Zagreb, 1997.; Don A. Čondić, Pastoral sakramenata (skripta). Prvo svojstvo kršćanske ženidbe je jedinstvenost ili jednost, tj. jedan muž i jedna žena i nitko treći ili drugačije. Tko je ustanovio ženidbu? Ženidbu je ustanovio Bog u raju zemaljskom da bude životna zajednica muža i žene (Adam i Eva). On poziva muža i ženu na intimno jedinstvo u ljubavi i na suradnju u stvaranju novoga života. Tko je ženidbu uzvisio na sakrament? Isus Krist je uzvisio ženidbu na sakrament da bi posvetio zajednički život muža i žene. Zato je ženidba sveta, jedinstvena i nerazrješiva. Koja se životna dob traži za ženidbu i treba li slavlje ženidbe biti javno? Za valjano sklapanje ženidbe, crkveni zakon traži da je muškarac navršio 16 god. života i za ženu da je navršila 14 god. života. Naša biskupska konferencija traži i za muškarca i za ženu navršenih 18 god. života (kao građanski zakon), a za slavlje ženidbe ispod te dobi treba tražiti pisani pristanak roditelja i dozvolu mjesnog biskupa. Što se tiče liturgijskog slavlja treba reći: budući da ženidba uvodi supružnike u javni život Crkve, dolično je da njeno slavlje bude javno, unutar euharistijskog slavlja, u prisutnosti svjedoka i zajednice vjernika. Preporuča se da ženidba bude u župi zaručnice. Ako se želi obaviti vjenčanje negdje drugdje, u drugoj župi koja nije župa zaručnika ili zaručnice, tada je potrebno ovlaštenje nadležnog župnika, dakle župnika zaručnika ili zaručnice. Je li dopušteno rastavljenima ponovno sklopiti brak? Nova ženidba rastavljenih, dok živi zakoniti bračni drug, protivi se planu i zakonu Božjemu naočavanom od Krista. Oni koji su ponovno sklopili građanski brak, a još su u sakramentalnoj ženidbenoj vezi, ne smiju pristupiti svetoj pričesti niti se ispovijedati. Neka žive svoje kršćanstvo uz molitvu i duhovnu pričest, i odgajaju svoju djecu u katoličkoj vjeri. Kada je moguće crkveno rastaviti brak? Valjano sklopljenu ženidbu nitko ne može rastaviti. Ali, ako jedan brak nije valjano sklopljen, bilo zbog pomanjkanja ženidbene privole, bilo zbog pomanjkanja bitne forme sklapanja braka, bilo zbog neke druge zapreke, i ukoliko stvarno postoji takav razlog i dokaže se na crkvenom sudu, tada crkveni ženidbeni sud, nakon temeljita ispitivanja, donosi rješenje o nevaljanosti braka te su tada dotične osobe slobodne za sklapanje novoga braka. To su rijetki slučajevi. Češće se događa tzv. "rastava od stola i postelje" tamo gdje je zajedništvo supružnika postalo nemogućim (zbog fizičkih napada, neuredna života prouzročena alkoholom, drogom...). Tada se dopuštenjem Crkve može provesti rastava od stola i postelje, tj. više ne moraju zajednički živjeti, ali nemaju mogućnost ostvariti novu kršćansku ženidbu i mogu pristupati sakramentima. O čvrstim bračnim zajednicama ovisi sreća pojedinca i stabilnost cijeloga društva. Bračno zajedništvo za kršćane jest put posvećenja. Prema: Žarko Vladislav Ošap, Rastimo u vjeri, nadi i ljubavi, Drvar, 2009.