http___forever-healthy.net_addiction-talking_.xml
http___forever-healthy.net_hr_addiction-talking__1.xml
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An Addiction To Talking? There is an old joke about people who talk a lot: “Do you know the 12-Step program for people who talk a lot? On and On Anon!” The joke recognizes that fact that incessant talking is a common addiction. Non-stop talking is about using others for attention and approval because of not giving oneself enough attention and approval. The talker is not actually offering anything to the listener. Instead, the talker, in going on and on with a monologue, is pulling energy from the listener. People who end up listening to a talker go on and on are often caretakers who are afraid to hurt the talker by disengaging or by telling the truth about their boredom. Talkers are often needy people who attempt to assuage their emptiness by trapping people into listening to them. For example, I’ve seen people telling a bank teller their life story, while the trapped teller doesn’t know how to disengage without being impolite. The problem is that one of the reasons these people are without friends is that no one wants to be with them. It’s draining to be at the other end of a needy person who uses talking as a way to fill up. If you are addicted to talking, perhaps you believe that you are being interesting when you go on and on about yourself. However, you might reconsider the truth of this belief if you find that many people avoid you. Most people will not tell you the truth – that they feel tired, drained and trapped in your presence, and bored by your talking. Not wanting to offend you, they just stay away rather speak their truth. They don’t answer the phone when they know it’s you, and they find any excuse to not spend time with you. It’s not that they don’t like you – it’s that they don’t want to be used by you to fill up your emptiness. Ending your addiction to talking Imagine that you have a child within you – your feeling self – who feels very alone. This child feels alone because you are not paying attention to him or her. Every time you trap someone into listening to you, it is as if you are handing this inner child away for adoption. You want someone else to attend to and approve of this child instead of you accepting this responsibility. The very fact of doing this is an inner abandonment and is creating the aloneness that is at the heart of all addictions. By expecting others to listen to you when you don’t listen to yourself, you are giving the child within a message that he or she is not important to you. When you do not take the time to attend to your own feelings and needs, you are creating inner neediness and emptiness. This inner emptiness is like a vacuum that attempts to suck caring from others. Yet no matter how often others do listen to you, it never really fills you. This is because only you can give your own inner child what he or she needs. If you were to take some time each day to have a dialogue, either out loud or in writing, with the part of you who so needs to be heard, you would discover that you can fill your own emptiness. In addition, if you practice imagining a loving spiritual presence holding you, loving you, listening to you and guiding you, you will no longer feel alone. As long as you believe that it is someone else’s job to fill you, you will not take the time to learn how to fill yourself. As long as you believe that it is okay to trap others and use them to fill yourself, you will continue your talking addiction. Only when you get that it is not loving to yourself or others to expect them to take care of your own inner child – your own feelings and needs – will you start to take on that responsibility. While you might not believe that you can fill yourself better than others can, you will not know until you try. My personal experience is that when my intention is to take loving care of myself and to fill myself with the Love that is God, I feel happy and peaceful. When you choose to take responsibility for meeting your own needs instead of abandoning yourself to others, you will never feel alone.
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Ovisnost razgovoru? Postoji stari vic o ljudima koji govore mnogo: "Znate li 12-korak program za ljude koji govore puno? Na i na Anon!"Vic priznaje da je činjenica da neprestano govori je zajedničko ovisnost. Non-stop govori se o korištenju drugima za pozornost i odobravanje jer ne daje SEBE dovoljno pažnje i odobrenje. Govornik nije zapravo nudi sve do slušatelja. Umjesto, govornik, U događa i sa monolog, vuče energiju od slušatelja. Ljudi koji završavaju slušate govornik ide na i na često odgajatelji koji su se bojali da se povrijediti govornik isključivanjem ili reći istinu o svojoj dosade. Talkers često potrebitima ljudi koji pokušavaju umanjiti svoju prazninu hvatanjem ljudi u slušanju njih. Na primjer, Vidio sam ljude koji govore o Teller banka svoju životnu priču, dok je zarobljen pripovjedač ne zna kako da se oslobodi bez nepristojno. Problem je u tome što je jedan od razloga zašto su ti ljudi bez prijatelja je da nitko ne želi biti s njima. To je iscrpljujuće biti na drugom kraju potrebitima osobi koja koristi razgovarate kao način da se popuni. Ako ste ovisni o razgovoru, Možda smatrate da ste se zanimljivo kad idete na i na o sebi. Međutim, možda razmotriti istinu o tom uvjerenju ako smatraju da mnogi ljudi bi se izbjeglo. Većina ljudi neće vam reći istinu - da se osjećaju umorno, iscrpljen i zarobljeni u nazočnosti, i dosadno vaš razgovor. Ne želeći uvrijediti, oni samo ostati daleko radije govoriti svoju istinu. Oni ne javiti na telefon kad znam da si ti, i smatraju bilo koji izgovor da se ne provode vrijeme s vama. To ne znači da oni ne sviđa - to je da oni ne žele da se koristi od strane vas da ispunite svoj prazninu. Raskid ovisnost govori Zamislite da imate dijete u vama - vaš osjećaj sebe – koji osjeća jako miru. To dijete osjeća samo zato što se ne obraća pažnju na njega ili nju. Svaki put kad je netko u zamku slušajući vas, to je kao da se predaje taj unutarnji dijete daleko za usvajanje. Želite netko da prisustvuju i odobravanje tog djeteta, umjesto da vas prihvaćanja tu odgovornost. Sama činjenica za to je unutarnja odustajanje i stvaranje samoće koji je u središtu svih ovisnosti. Do očekujući druge da slušaju vas kada ne slušaju sebe, dajete djetetu u poruci da on ili ona nije važna za vas. Kada ne uzeti vremena da prisustvuju na svoje osjećaje i potrebe, stvarate unutarnji neediness i prazninu. Ova unutarnja praznina je kao vakuum koji pokušava sisati brige s drugima. Ipak, bez obzira na to koliko se često drugi ne slušaju vas, to nikada nije stvarno vas ispunjava. To je zato što samo vi možete dati svoj unutarnji dijete što on ili ona treba. Ako ste bili uzeti malo vremena svaki dan da imaju dijalog, bilo naglas ili u pisanom obliku, s dijelom vas koji to treba da se čuje, što će otkriti da možete ispuniti svoju prazninu. Dodatno, Ako praksi zamišljanje ljubavi duhovnu prisutnost vas drži, ti ljubavi, slušajući vas i vođenje, više nećete osjećati sami. Sve dok vjerujete da je to netko drugi posao kako bi vas ispuniti, nećete uzeti vremena kako bi naučili kako da ispunite sebe. Dokle god vjeruje da je u redu da se trap drugima i koristiti ih ispuniti se, što će nastaviti govori ovisnosti. Tek kada se to nije ljubavi prema sebi ili drugima za očekivati da će voditi brigu o vlastitom unutarnjem djetetu - svoje vlastite osjećaje i potrebe – ćete početi da se na toj odgovornosti. Iako možda ne vjerujete da možete ispuniti sebe bolje nego što drugi mogu, nećete znati dok ne probati. Moje osobno iskustvo je da kad je moja namjera je da se s ljubavlju brine o sebi i za sebe ispuniti s ljubavlju koja je Bog, Osjećam se sretno i mirno. Kada se odlučite preuzeti odgovornost za ispunjavanje vlastite potrebe umjesto da se odustane drugima, nikada nećete osjećati sami.