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When ‘Thinking Positive’ Doesn’t Seem to be Working “Life is not about being perfect, it’s about being real.” – Unknown Emotions are an inevitable part of the human experience. They can have us on top of the world or in the depths of despair, but if nothing else, they remind us that we are alive. Usually, “good” emotions are welcomed with open arms into our life experience, while perceived “bad” emotions are avoided at all costs. People use anything from drugs & alcohol to denial to avoidance to blame, all just to protect themselves from having to feel anything. Very often we are given the advice to just, “think positive”, “be happy” or “stay optimistic” when we are experiencing hard to deal with emotions. While this advice may sound wonderful in theory, (because, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to just be happy and upbeat ALL the time?) it may not always be the healthiest option. In order to successfully move through a tough emotion, the emotion itself must be not only acknowledged but actually FELT. How ironic. The one thing that people try to duck, dive and avoid at all costs (feeling the emotion) is the one thing that will set them free and resolve it. Denying the emotion is happening will keep it bubbling just under the surface, while observing it without judgement and feeling it to completion will actually make it subside. It sounds simple, “just FEEL the emotion and it will go away,” but it can be a little bit trickier than it sounds and it’s also important to look at the role of our emotions and how “bad” ones can actually help us to grow as a person. “Is suffering really necessary? Yes and no. If you had not suffered as you have there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility, no compassion. Suffering cracks open the shell of the ego and then comes a point where it has served its purpose. Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.” – Eckhart Tolle Many have people have spent decades not feeling ANYTHING, it is literally how they run their lives, so when a negative emotion pops up they immediately jump to their preferred line of defense (avoidance, blame, addiction etc…). When a person spends all of their time not feeling anything, they run the risk of overcompensating by excessive DOing. They jump from job to job, from one relationship to another, new hobby to new hobby, all to avoid the reality of ‘what is’, which is that there is an emotion that never got dealt with just under the surface. Over time they become human DOings instead of human BEings which means they are never quite comfortable to just BE. This causes them to become so disconnected with themselves that they stop knowing how they truly feel about things and instead focus on how they think they should feel and act, which prevents them from being honest with themselves. The most important thing to remember here is that emotions should not be avoided, nor should they be wallowed in. Emotions, when used properly can be wonderful guideposts for our lives. Even though it’s not healthy to see our emotions as the 100% absolute truth of a situation, we can use them as indicators as to when it’s time to move on from an unhealthy relationship, or a going nowhere job, or they might even signify a deeper rooted issue that is begging to be dealt with. As long as we don’t start identifying with the emotions themselves as our sense of self to the point that we are addicted and attached to them for our ego’s survival, we can use our emotions in a healthy manner. There are many methods to help us process emotions and move through them more quickly, which include: Meditation, yoga, hypnotherapy, counseling, energy work (chakra balancing/clearing, reiki, etc…), the tapping method, and so many more. “The ego says, ‘I shouldn’t have to suffer’ and that thought makes you suffer so much more. It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical. The truth is that you need to say ‘yes’ to suffering before you can transcend it” – Eckhart Tolle Feelings and emotions are a part of the human experience, and when used properly can become wonderful tools for us. To only focus on being positive and feeling good is to deny part of our life’s journey, which will consequently inhibit us from being able to feel true joy. The happiest and most peaceful of people are the ones who have made it through their tough times, by actually going through their suffering instead of denying it was happening in the first place. Once a person has gone through the rough patches & dealt with emotions to completion, they are able to come out happier and wiser. They literally come to the light at the end of their tunnel. The fear of feeling emotions starts to go away with practice. Soon, feeling an emotion, instead of avoiding it, becomes an automatic response. When we move through feelings more quickly we will always have continual growth which allows for true happiness, joy and inner peace. Image Source Feeling down Comments Really nice words. Well done, nikki while feeling these emotions, imo its important to try and think about what you would think about another person with the same problem. usually people tend to be way more critical with themselves than theyd be with others… be kind to yourself! I think the philosophy that will change the world will be a lot more powerful. Thank you for this insightful blog post! I went ahead and shared it on my blog, FYI. I really loved the article. Very well explained.
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Kada razmišljanja Pozitivne’ Ne izgleda da rade "Život se ne radi o savršenstva, to je o tome Real. "- Unknown Emocije su neizbježan dio ljudskog iskustva. Oni nas mogu imati na vrhu svijeta, ili u dubinama očaja, ali ako ništa drugo, oni nas podsjećaju da smo živi. Obično, "Dobar" emocije su dobrodošli otvorenih ruku u našu životno iskustvo, dok doživljava "loših" emocije su izbjeći po svaku cijenu. Ljudi koristiti ništa od droge & alkohola demanti izbjegavanje kriv, sve samo kako bi se zaštitili od potrebe da osjeća ništa. Često smo se daje savjete samo, "Mislim pozitivno", "Biti sretan" ili "ostati optimističan", kada smo naišli teško da se bave emocijama. Dok je ovaj savjet može zvučati divno u teoriji, (jer, budimo iskreni, koji ne želi samo biti sretan i optimista sve vrijeme?) to ne mora uvijek biti najzdravija opcija. Da bi se uspješno kretanje kroz teška emocija, sama emocija mora biti ne samo priznati, ali zapravo FELT. Kako ironično. Jedina stvar koju ljudi pokušavaju da duck, roni i izbjeći po svaku cijenu (osjećaj emocija) je jedna stvar koja će ih osloboditi i riješiti. Negiranje emocije se dešava će zadržati kulja neposredno ispod površine, poštujući bez presude i osjećaj da do završetka će zapravo čine ga jenjava. Zvuči jednostavno, "Osjećam se emocije i to će nestati,"Ali može biti malo teže provesti nego što zvuči i to je također važno da pogledate naše emocije ulogu i kako" loše "one zapravo mogu nam pomoći da raste kao osoba. "Pati stvarno neophodno? Da i ne. Ako nije pretrpjela imate ne bi bilo dubine da vas kao ljudsko biće, no poniznosti, no samilosti. Patnja pukotine otvoriti školjku ego, a onda dolazi do tačke kada je služio svojoj svrsi. Patnja je potrebno dok ne shvatite da je nepotrebno. "- Eckhart Tolle Mnogi su ljudi proveli desetljeća ne osjeća ANYTHING, to je doslovno kako oni vode svoje živote, tako da kada negativan emocije iskoči odmah skočiti na svoje preferirani linija odbrane (izbjegavanje, krivica, ovisnosti itd…). Kada osoba provodi sve svoje vrijeme ne osjeća ništa, oni pokrenuti rizik od overcompensating pretjeranom Doing. Oni skaču sa posla na posao, iz jedne veze u drugu, novi hobi za novi hobi, sve da se izbjegne stvarnost 'ono što je', a to je da postoji emocija koja nikad nije bavio samo ispod površine. Vremenom su postali ljudi djela umjesto ljudskih bića što znači da su nikada nije ugodno samo BE. To im uzrokuje da postanu toliko nepovezanih sa sobom da se ne zaustave znajući kako se zaista misle o stvarima i umjesto toga se fokusiraju na to kako oni misle da treba da se osećaju i čin, što ih sprečava od toga da bude iskren prema sebi. Najvažnija stvar za zapamtiti ovdje je da ne treba izbjegavati emocije, niti bi im se valjali u. Emocije, Kada se pravilno koristi može biti divan putokazi za naše živote. Iako to nije zdravo vidjeti naše emocije kao 100% apsolutna istina o situaciji, ih možete koristiti kao indikatori o tome kada je vrijeme da krenemo dalje od nezdravih odnosa, ili nikuda posao, ili možda čak i znače dublje ukorijenjena pitanje koje se moli da se bavio. Sve dok ne počnemo identifikacije s emocijama sebe kao naš osjećaj sebe do te mjere da smo ovisni i povezani da ih za opstanak naše ego-a, možemo koristiti naše emocije na zdrav način. Postoji mnogo načina da nam pomogne da obrađuju emocije i brže kretati kroz njih, koji uključuju: Meditacija, joga, hipnoterapije, savjetovanje, energetski rad (čakra balansiranje / kliringa, Reiki, itd…), lupkanja metoda, i tako mnogo više. "Kaže Ego, "Ne bi trebalo da pati i da misli čini pate mnogo više. To je iskrivljavanje istine, koji je uvijek paradoksalna. Istina je da morate reći 'da' patnje prije nego što možete transcendira ga "- Eckhart Tolle Osjećaji i emocije su sastavni dio ljudskog iskustva, a kada se pravilno koristi može postati prekrasan alat za nas. Da biste se fokusirati samo na samo pozitivan i dobar osjećaj je negirati dio našeg života putovanju, što će nam samim tim inhibiraju od mogućnosti da osjećaju istina radost. Najsrećniji i najmirnijih ljudi su oni koji su je probio njihovu teška vremena, by zapravo prolazi kroz njihove patnje, umjesto poricanja se to dešavalo na prvom mjestu. Kada je osoba prošla kroz grube zakrpe & bavio emocije do završetka, su u stanju da izađe sretniji i mudriji. Oni doslovno dolaze na svjetlo na kraju svog tunela. Strah od osjećaj emocija počinje da ode s praksom. Uskoro, osjećaj emocija, umjesto izbjegavanja ga, postaje automatski odgovor. Kada smo se brže kretati kroz osjećaje uvijek ćemo imati kontinuirani rast koji omogućuje pravu sreću, radost i unutarnji mir. Image Source Feeling down Komentari Really nice words. Well done, nikki while feeling these emotions, imo its important to try and think about what you would think about another person with the same problem. usually people tend to be way more critical with themselves than theyd be with others… be kind to yourself! I think the philosophy that will change the world will be a lot more powerful. Thank you for this insightful blog post! I went ahead and shared it on my blog, FYI. I really loved the article. Very well explained.