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7 Things Self-actualized People Don’t Do “Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them. Life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.” –Gabriel García Márquez The term “self-actualization” was originally coined by the theorist Kurt Goldstein for the motive of realizing one’s full potential, but was brought fully to light by Abram Maslow in his hierarchy of needs theory of human development. Essentially self-actualization is the prominent feeling of being fully alive and aware of what it means to be a meaning-bringing creature in an otherwise meaningless universe. It is the self-realization of one’s individuated maturity in balance with an interdependent spirit. Self-actualized people have a healthy perception of reality and practice healthy habits. Here are seven things self-actualized people don’t do in order to achieve their most authentic self. 1) They don’t fear change “Nature will not let us stay in any one place for too long. She will let us stay just long enough to gather the experience necessary to the unfolding and advancement of the soul. This is a wise provision, for should we stay there too long, we would become too set, too rigid, too inflexible. Nature demands change in order that we may advance.” –Ernest Holmes Self-actualized people realize that there is no permanence. Everything changes. And that’s the beauty of it. It’s because things change, because things begin, because things grow and blossom and wilt and die and grow again that there is such a thing as beauty to begin with. It is exactly because things end that things are so beautiful while they’re here. Everything is more precious to the self-actualized person precisely because everything is fleeting and transitory. They don’t fear change, they change fear. They are flexible and adept at adapting to the many vicissitudes of life. They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control “Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself.” –Deborah Reber Self-actualized people understand that not everything is under their control. And that’s okay. For the same reason that you put an oxygen mask on yourself before a child, you need to discover a Locus of Control before attempting to control the locusts, the “locusts” being a metaphor for “everything else.” Self-actualized people realize that they can’t control people. They can only teach people and hope those people learn. They can’t control fate. They do, however, understand that they have control over their attitude, and choose to place their energy into adapting their attitude to a situation rather than complaining about how things are not working out. They discover that by changing their attitude they are more likely to create a positive outcome. But even if they can’t, at least they have the satisfaction of having tried something positive. 3) They don’t feel unworthy “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” –Aristotle Self-actualized people never feel sorry for themselves. There’s no point. They realize that self-pity is poison. Worthiness is a matter of attitude, and they have the right attitude. They make being worthy a habit, and they practice it every single day. They don’t worry about how other people treat them. They are not concerned with circumstance. They are only concerned with how they manage their own worth in regard to others and to circumstance. They understand that nobody else gets to dictate their own worth. Worthiness is a choice, and they have simply chosen to be worthy. 4) They don’t fear taking risks “I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do.” – Leonardo da Vinci Self-actualized people understand that living a full life requires stepping outside of their comfort zone. There’s adventure on the other side of those walls we put up in order to maintain our comfort, and self-actualized people are determined to leap those walls in pursuit of higher fulfillment. They seek to test the limits of the human spirit. They are not reckless or foolish risk-takers, however. They are calculative and circumspect about their risk-taking. They have a proper orientation between fear and shame. They can extend the limits of what’s possible without fear, because they are proactive and courageous about transforming boundaries into horizons. 5) They don’t have a sense of entitlement “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” – Mark Twain Self-actualized people don’t feel the world owes them anything. What they get, they earn. If they should get something they didn’t earn, they are appreciative and never take it for granted. They don’t just assume that other people will take care of them. Rather, they take care of themselves and “let the chips fall where they may.” They don’t suffer from unhealthy expectations. They also don’t need immediate gratification, understanding that sometimes the best things in life take time to develop. They don’t resent the success of other people. Instead, they are happy for other people, and tend to learn from both the successes and the mistakes of others. 6) They don’t see setbacks as “setbacks” “Do not pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one.” – Bruce Lee Self-actualized people seek opportunity in every obstacle. Every failed attempt can be used as a stepping stone for the next attempt. And no matter how many attempts it takes, self-actualized people don’t quit. They don’t agonize over past mistakes. They don’t cling to the past. And they definitely don’t hold onto resentment. They are very present and centered, especially during setbacks. They understand that through mistakes they can become wise, but only if they learn from those mistakes. But they also don’t make the same mistake over and over again. They make new mistakes, understanding that trial and error is the mother of all invention. They intuitively understand the meaning of the Zen proverb: “The obstacle is the path.” 7) They don’t let negative thoughts control them “If you want to awaken all of humanity, then awaken all of yourself, if you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is negative in yourself. Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.” –Lao Tzu Self-actualized people never assume the worst. Instead, they hope for the best and prepare for the worst. They know that they can adapt and overcome anything that comes their way. They understand that negative thoughts can hijack their perspective if they allow them to, so they are ever-vigilant and cognizant of how their perception of reality is affecting reality. At the same time, they don’t resist the truth of reality. If a situation is negative, or it is creating a negative emotion, they embrace the moment and the emotion and then they transform that emotion into a positive one, thereby transforming the situation into a positive one. They are also adept at transforming the negative energy of past traumas into positive energy for the present moment. They have learned, as Sogyal Rinpoche teaches, “What we have to learn in both meditation and in life is to be free of attachment to the good experiences and free of aversion to the negative ones.” Image Source: Self-actualization Things Change Locus of Control Worthy Take Risks The Obstacle Yin Yang Comments This makes so much sense. I am left wondering… I have NONE of those qualities, or things to do or whatever they are called. Are they developed? Am I to like, start saying silly affirmations like I don’t fear change from now on? One of the best articles I’ve ever read! Thank you Good reminder of what “not to do ” Is all good , correction and all …we need it as well ! Thank you for taking the time ! awesome BEAUTIFUL article !! Sad some people are only trying to proof read it rather than understand its message …. Thank you so much for putting this up. Keep writing ….. Keep it coming !!! is pleasant to feel confirmed in personal philosophical endeavours through such clear argumentation. Ok then – back to the grindstone. It is very good to hear from you. You are right on track, I’m right behind you, (Too bad some people get hung on “Tupos” and miss the forest for the trees) Fractals, Quantic, Here now; The more I look the more there is….. It’s truly an adventure looking for the treasure of the Self. Keep searching, keep sharing, We’re around……. Saludos Amigo….. Thank you!! Thank you for sharing your wisdom. This was what I needed to read to help change my perspective. Been struggling with a lot of changes and anxiety. Reading articles like this is very beneficial. Please keep writing! Very good article thank you for sharing “…they are appreciative and never take it for granite.” this last word should be granted, not granite. good read, though! You are right, but “granite” implies something immovable, something impenetrable…. Flexible people seldom assume that to be the case. So “taking something for granite” can make sense, too! I guess I’ve got a way to go then. I’m definitely heading in the right direction I never take things for granite. I mistake things for limestone, but never for granite. Awesome read man! Is it written that way to make the reader feel a bit self-actualised(considering it’s good) or true aspect of such personality? I’m sorry but I must mention this: “…and never take it for granite” is incorrect. Granite is a rock. The phase is “for granted.” Acute sensitivity to proper spelling and use of grammar is as much a curse as it is a blessing lol I know it’s not my place (and I am certainly not meaning to come across as confrontational), but if I may, I’d like to point out how such a matter in one’s life (referring to said sensitivity and the associated sense of compelling that tends to go along with it) is actually an ideal place to put some of what Gary was talking about into practice. In either case, do what makes you happy Please update your Yin Yang Symbol. It’s wrong. The white side has a dot of negative and the black side has a dot of positive. it depends on how you see it. there is no right or wrong. read carl jung
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7 Stvari self-aktualizirao ljudi ne rade "Ljudi se ne rađaju jednom zauvijek na dan njihove majke rađaju njih. Život ih obvezuje iznova i iznova roditi sebe. "-Gabriel García Márquez Izraz "samoaktualizacija" izvorno je skovao teoretičar Kurt Goldstein za motiv ostvarivanja nečije puni potencijal, , ali je doveo u potpunosti na vidjelo Abram Maslow u njegovoj hijerarhiji teorije potreba ljudskog razvoja. U suštini samoaktualizacija je istaknuti osjećaj potpunosti živ i svjestan što to znači biti značenje-dovođenja stvorenje u inače besmislenom svemiru. To je samoostvarenje nečijeg Individualizacije zrelosti u ravnoteži s nezavisna duha. Self-aktualizirao ljudi imaju zdravu percepciju stvarnosti i praksi zdrave navike. Ovdje su sedam stvari self-aktualizirao ljudi ne rade kako bi ostvarili svoj najizvorniji sebe. Oni se ne boje promjena "Priroda neće dopustiti da ostane na jednom mjestu za predugačak. Ona će nam ostati dovoljno dugo da se okupe iskustvo potrebno za razvijanje i napredak duše. To je mudra odredba, jer smo trebali ostati tamo predugo, mi bi postali previše postavili, prekruta, previše nefleksibilan. Priroda zahtijeva promjene kako bismo mogli unaprijed. "-Ernest Holmes Self-aktualizirao ljudi shvatiti da ne postoji stalnost. Sve se mijenja. I to je ljepota. To je zato što se stvari mijenjaju, jer stvari početi, jer stvari rastu i cvjetaju i uvenuti i umrijeti i ponovno rasti da ne postoji takva stvar kao što je ljepota za početak. To je točno, jer se stvari na kraju da su stvari tako lijepo dok su ovdje. Sve je više dragocjena self-aktualizirao osobi upravo zato je sve što je kratkotrajno i prolazno. Oni se ne boje promjena, oni promijeniti strah. Oni su fleksibilni i vješt u prilagodbi na mnoge događaje života. Oni ne trošiti energiju na stvari koje ne mogu kontrolirati "Najam ići ne znači da se ne brinu o nekome više. To je samo shvatio da je jedina osoba koju stvarno imaju kontrolu nad je sami. "-Deborah Reber Self-aktualizirao ljudi shvatiti da nije sve pod njihovom kontrolom. I to je u redu. Iz istog razloga koji ste stavili masku s kisikom na sebe prije nego dijete, morate otkriti mjesto kontrole prije pokušaja kontrolirati skakavce, su "skakavci" biti metafora za "sve ostalo." self-aktualizirao ljudi shvate da se ne mogu kontrolirati ljude. Oni mogu samo naučiti ljude i nadam se ti ljudi saznali. Oni ne mogu kontrolirati sudbinu. Oni su to učinili, međutim, Razumijem da oni imaju kontrolu nad svojim odnosom, i odlučite staviti svoju energiju u prilagodbi njihov odnos prema situaciji nego žaleći se kako se stvari ne rade:. Oni su otkrili da je promjenom svoj stav oni su više vjerojatno da će stvoriti pozitivan ishod. No, čak i ako oni ne mogu, barem oni imati zadovoljstvo nakon što je pokušao nešto pozitivno. Oni ne osjećaju nedostojnim "Mi smo ono što smo u više navrata učiniti. Nadmoćnost, zatim, nije čin, nego navika. "-Aristotel Self-aktualizirao ljudi nikad ne žalim za sebe. Nema smisla. Oni su shvatili da je samosažaljenje je otrov. Dostojnosti je stvar stava, i oni imaju pravo stav. Oni bi se dostojno navika, i oni prakticiraju ga svaki dan. Ne brinite o tome kako ih drugi ljudi tretiraju. Oni se ne bave okolnost. Oni se samo bave kako upravljati vlastitim vrijednost u odnosu na druge i da se okolnosti. Oni razumiju da nitko drugi ne dobiva diktirati vlastite vrijednosti. Dostojnosti je izbor, i oni imaju samo izabrao da bude dostojan. Oni se ne boje riskirati "Ja sam bio impresioniran s hitnosti radi. Znajući nije dovoljno; moramo primijeniti. Biti spremni nije dovoljno; mi moramo učiniti. "- Leonardo da Vinci Self-aktualizirao ljudi razumiju da živi punim životom zahtijeva koračni izvan njihove zone udobnosti. Tu je avantura na drugoj strani tih zidova smo podigli kako bi zadržali naš komfor, i samo-aktualizirano ljudi odlučni skok tih zidova u potrazi za višim ispunjenja. Oni traže da se testiraju granice ljudskog duha. Oni nisu bezobzirni ili lud rizik-uzimalac, međutim. Oni su kalkulativnih i razborita o svom preuzimanja rizika. Oni imaju pravilnu orijentaciju između straha i srama. Oni mogu proširiti granice onoga što je moguće bez straha, jer su proaktivni i hrabri pretvarajući granice u horizonata. Oni nemaju osjećaj za pravo "Nemoj ići okolo govoreći svijet vam duguje za život. Svijet vam duguje ništa. Bilo je ovdje prvi put. "- Mark Twain Self-aktualizirao ljudi ne osjećaju svijet im duguje ništa. Ono što su dobili, oni zarade. Ako oni bi trebali dobiti nešto što nisi zaradio, oni su zahvalan i nikada ga uzimaju zdravo za gotovo. Oni ne samo pretpostavljati da drugi ljudi će se brinuti o njima. Radije, oni se brinu za sebe i "neka bude što bude." Oni ne pate od nezdravih očekivanja. Oni također ne trebaju hitnu zadovoljenje, shvaćanje da je ponekad najbolje stvari u životu treba vremena da se razvije. Oni ne zamjeraju uspjeh drugih ljudi. Umjesto toga, oni su sretni zbog drugih ljudi, i imaju tendenciju da uče iz oba uspjeha i pogrešaka drugih. Oni ne vide prepreke kao "neuspjesima" "Nemoj molim za jednostavan život, moliti za snagu da izdrže bio težak. "- Bruce Lee Self-aktualiziran ljudi traže priliku u svakoj prepreci. Svaki neuspjeli pokušaj može se koristiti kao stepenica za sljedeći pokušaj. I bez obzira koliko pokušaja je potrebno, self-aktualizirao ljudi ne prestaju. Oni ne mučiti preko greške prošlosti. Oni se ne drže u prošlost. A oni definitivno ne zadržati ljutnja. Oni su vrlo prisutni i usmjeren, pogotovo u zastojima. Oni razumiju da je kroz greške mogu biti mudar, ali samo ako su naučili iz tih pogrešaka. No, oni također ne napraviti istu pogrešku iznova i iznova. Oni čine nove pogreške, razumijevanje tog pokušaja i pogrešaka je majka svih izuma. Oni intuitivno razumiju značenje Zen poslovica: "Prepreka je put." Ne dopustite da negativne misli ih kontrolirati "Ako želite da se probudi cijelo čovječanstvo, onda probuditi sve od sebe, ako želite eliminirati patnje u svijetu, zatim eliminirati sve što je negativno u sebi. Uistinu, najveći dar morate dati je da svoj self-transformacije. "-Lao Tzu Self-aktualizirao ljudi nikada pretpostaviti najgore. Umjesto toga, nadaju se najboljem i pripremiti za najgore. Oni znaju da se mogu prilagoditi i prevladati sve što dolazi svoj put. Oni razumiju da su negativne misli mogu oteti njihove perspektive, ako ih pustite da se, tako da su uvijek budni i svjesni kako je njihova percepcija stvarnosti utječe na stvarnost. Istovremeno, ne suprotstavljaju istini stvarnosti. Ako situacija je negativna, ili to stvara negativnu emociju, oni zagrljaju trenutak i emociju i tada transformira tu emociju u pozitivno, time pretvarajući situaciju u pozitivno. Oni su također vješt u pretvarajući negativnu energiju prošlih trauma u pozitivnu energiju za sadašnji trenutak. Oni su naučili, kao Sogyal Rinpoche uči, "Ono što moramo naučiti kako u meditaciji, au životu je biti slobodan od vezanosti za dobrih iskustava i bez averzije na one negativne." Izvor slike: Samoostvarenja Stvari se mijenjaju Lokusa kontrole Dostojan Riskirati Prepreka Yin Yang Komentari This makes so much sense. I am left wondering… I have NONE of those qualities, or things to do or whatever they are called. Are they developed? Am I to like, start saying silly affirmations like I don’t fear change from now on? One of the best articles I’ve ever read! Hvala Good reminder of what “not to do ” Is all good , correction and all …we need it as well ! Thank you for taking the time ! awesome BEAUTIFUL article !! Sad some people are only trying to proof read it rather than understand its message …. Thank you so much for putting this up. Keep writing ….. Keep it coming !!! To. is pleasant to feel confirmed in personal philosophical endeavours through such clear argumentation. Ok then – back to the grindstone. To je jako lijepo čuti od vas. U pravu si na dobrom putu, Ja sam odmah iza tebe, (Šteta što neki ljudi se objesio na “Tupos” i propustiti šumu od drveća) Fraktali, Quantic, Evo sada; Više gledam više ne postoji…..To je uistinu pustolovina u potrazi za blagom o Jastvu. Držite pretraživanje, držati dijeljenje, Mi smo oko…….Pozdrav prijatelju….. Hvala!! Hvala za dijeljenje svoju mudrost. To je ono što mi je potrebno za čitanje kako bi se promijeniti moje perspektive. Bori s puno promjena i tjeskobe. Čitajući članke kao što je to vrlo koristan. Molimo držati pisanje! Vrlo dobar članak hvala za dijeljenje “…oni su zahvalan i nikada ga se za granit.” ova posljednja riječ treba dodijeliti, Ne granit. dobro štivo, iako! Vi ste u pravu, ali “granite” implies something immovable, something impenetrable…. Flexible people seldom assume that to be the case. Tako “taking something for granite” can make sense, previše! Valjda imam način da ide onda. Ja sam definitivno ide u pravom smjeru Nikad se stvari za granit. I pogrešno stvari za krečnjaka, ali nikada za granit. Strašan čitanje čovjek! Je li to napisano na taj način kako bi čitatelj osjeća malo self-aktualizira(s obzirom da je dobro) ili istina aspekt takve osobnosti? Žao mi je, ali moram spomenuti i to: “…i nikad ga se za granit” je netočno. Granit je stijena. Faza “zdravo za gotovo.” Acute sensitivity to proper spelling and use of grammar is as much a curse as it is a blessing lol I know it’s not my place (and I am certainly not meaning to come across as confrontational), but if I may, I’d like to point out how such a matter in one’s life (referring to said sensitivity and the associated sense of compelling that tends to go along with it) is actually an ideal place to put some of what Gary was talking about into practice. In either case, do what makes you happy Obnovite svoje Yin Yang Simbol. To je u redu. Bijela strana ima točku od negativnih i crna strana ima točku pozitivnih. it depends on how you see it. there is no right or wrong. read carl jung