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Mars vs. Venus? The difference in men's and women's attitudes toward sex are often taken for granted. Men want sex, women want commitment; men look for attractive mates and women go after social status. But not all psychologists are on board with these gender-essentialist statements. In a new review, University of Michigan psychologist Terri Conley and colleagues sift through psychology studies and find gender differences aren't always as black-and-white (or pink-and-blue) as they seem. Here are six gender differences that may not be innate after all. Men Think About Sex More Than Women Do The cliché that men think about sex every seven seconds is not true. And while it's true that men think about sex more often than women do, they also think about other bodily needs, such as food and sleep, more than women do. In a study published in 2011 in the Journal of Sex Research, psychologists asked research participants to record their thoughts throughout the day. They found that  men pondered sex 18 times a day  to a woman's 10 times a day, but men also thought about food and sleep proportionately more than women. That suggests sex doesn't hold as vaunted a position for men as you might expect. Men Want More Sex Partners Than Women If you ask a lot of men and women how many sex partners they'd want in a given period of time, the numbers provided by men average higher than the women's numbers. But it seems that a few randy fellows at the top are skewing the results as a whole. Calculating an average does not always give you the clearest view of the data. (If, for example, researchers asked 10 men how many sex partners they wanted in the next year and nine said "one," while one said "20," the average would be 2.9, and you might expect that any given man wants about three sex partners in a year.) If you look instead at the "typical" response to the question of how many partners people want, you find that the majority of both men and women offer the same answer: one. Again, survey responses may be more about what people believe they should say, rather than what they really want, Conley said. That issue may be exacerbated because most sexual preference studies are conducted using college students, she added, and the young men are eager to conform to expectations of masculinity. How about how many sexual partners men and women actually have? Studies generally find that  men report more partners  than women. But in 2003, researchers reported in the Journal of Sex Research that if you trick research participants into believing that they are hooked up to a lie-detector test, men report the same number of sexual partners as women. Men Want 'Sexy' & Women Want 'Status' An underpinning of evolutionary psychology is that men look for  sexy women  who are likely to provide them with attractive, healthy offspring, while women are more concerned than men about getting a high-status mate who can be a good provider. When psychologists ask research subjects (mostly college students) to imagine their ideal mate, that is indeed what they typically find. But when people in an actual speed-dating event rated the importance of attractiveness and status, these gender differences evaporated, according to a 2008 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. When the research participants met potential dates face to face, there was no difference in the way they rated their romantic interest based on those people's attractiveness and earnings. So it seems real-world attraction may go beyond simple stereotypes. [ 10 Things Every Woman Should Know About a Man's Brain ] "Thinking about 'ideal' elicits more stereotypical thoughts about women and men — and what women and men 'should' do," Conley wrote in an email to LiveScience. "When someone evaluates a real person, it is a little different." Women Have Far Fewer Orgasms Than Men Do Are women biologically doomed to a life of  less sexual pleasure  than men? Studies suggest that men do experience more orgasms than women, but Conley and her colleagues add a large caveat: The differences are largest in one-night stands and hookup relationships. Things look rosier for women in long-term relationships. In a study published in the book "Families as They Really Are," (W.W. Norton and Co., 2009), researchers asked more than 12,925 people about their sexual experiences. They found that women reached orgasm only about a third as much as men during first-time hookups, and only half as often as men during repeated hookups. But in committed relationships, women has orgasms 79 percent as often as men. [ Top 10 Aphrodisiacs ] The fact that the gap can shrink so much based on relationship type suggests that having a partner who cares about a woman's sexual satisfaction is more important than biology, Conley and her colleagues wrote. Men Like Casual Sex More Than Women Do For a 1989 study, researchers trained young men and women to approach opposite-sex individuals of a similar age and proposition them. In a striking contrast, 70 percent of the men approached by a woman seeking sex said, "Sure." Not a single woman agreed. The result could be taken to mean that women aren't interested in  casual sex . But there is evidence that cultural factors play a major role, Conley and her colleagues wrote. When women are asked to consider a hypothetical offer from someone more familiar or very attractive, they become much more receptive. Likewise, gender differences in one-night-stand interest evaporated when men and women were asked to consider sleeping with someone famous. Conley, in yet-unpublished research, said she has found that women being propositioned by a strange man simply expect him to be no good in bed. "Women accepted fewer casual-sex offers from men than vice versa," she wrote, "because male proposers were perceived to have relatively poorer sexual capabilities." Women Are Pickier Than Men Evolutionary theory holds that men want to spread their seed, while women are choosy about whom they mate with. But this may not be universal, according to Conley and her colleagues. A 2009 study published in Psychological Science found that  people are choosier  when they're approached by a potential partner, and less choosy when they're doing the approaching. The experiment, conducted in a real-life speed-dating environment, showed that when men rotated through women who stayed seated in the same spot, the women were more selective about whom they chose to date. When the women did the rotating, it was the guys who were pickier. Because guys are traditionally the ones who make the first move, women may simply get more of a chance to be choosy. Perhaps, Conley and her colleagues wrote, women's pickiness is tied more to dating rules than to innate desires. Conley said that these against-the-grain studies highlight the importance of following the data to their conclusion, even when that conclusion isn't what you'd expect. "Psychologists – including me – always have to be looking beyond their own biases. They need to avoid getting so attached to a particular theory or perspective that they go out of their way to protect the theory," Conley said. "Data should be the guide, and you have to look at data in every way you can think of to see if the story you are telling is really the best one."
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Stereotipi o muško-ženskoj seksualnosti napokon srušeni Uvriježeno mišljenje je da muškarci i žene imaju apsolutno drugačije, gotovo obrnuto proporcionalne, poglede na seks, no ustvari smo sličniji nego što mislite Apsolutni bestseller "Muškarci su s Marsa žene su s Venere" svoju popularnost može zahvaliti mitu da postoje nesagledive razlike između dva spola. Vrlo često se muški i ženski stav spram seksa uzima zdravo za gotovo. Uvriježeno je mišljenje da muškarci žele samo seks dok žene žude za privrženosti, muškarci traže atraktivne partnerice dok pripadnice ljepšeg spola koriste svoje atribute da si osiguraju viši socijalni status. Iako će neki od vas možda reći kako je to apsolutna istina, znanstvenici sa michiganskog sveučilišta kažu da takvi stereotipi ne drže vodu. Njihovo istraživanje, pod vodstvom psihologinje Terry Conley, tvrdi kako razlike između spolova nisu uvijek crno-bijele nego da postoje sive zone koje bacaju sjenku sumnje na dosadašnja uvjerenja, piše Live Science. Muškarci misle na seks više nego žene Uvjerenje da muškarci misle na seks svakih 7 sekundi je totalni i neistiniti klišej. Da je tako Bill Gates bi umjesto Microsofta osnovao Pornosoft, a Mark Zuckerberg bi umjesto Facebooka izmislio Sexbook. Istraživanje provedeno 2011. godine pokazalo je kako muškarci tokom dana pomisle na seks 18 puta, dok ženama spolni odnos padne na pamet deset puta. No, istraživanje je također pokazalo kako muškarci češće od pripadnica ljepšeg spola pomišljaju i na ostale fizičke potrebe, poput hrane i spavanja. Muškarci žele više seksualnih partnera nego žene Mnoga istraživanja su provedena na ovu temu, a dosadašnji rezultati neosporno idu u prilog da muškarci žele više seksualnih partnera nego što to žele žene. No, kako tvrdi dr. Conley ova istraživanja za rezultate uzimaju prosjek, a ne želje pojedinaca koji čine većinu. Primjerice, ako u istraživanju prisustvuje 10 muškaraca i devetero njih kaže kako u jednoj godini žele samo jednu partnericu, a samo jedan nadobudni pastuh kaže kako želi 20 prosječni rezultat bi bio 2,9, što bi vas moglo dovesti da zaključite kako ispitanici žele 3 partnera godišnje. Iako mnoga istraživanja pokazuju kako muškarci žele više različitih partnerica nego žene, istraživanje provedeno 2003. godine pokazalo je da i muškarci i žene žele isti broj partnera. Pitate se kako su znanstvenici došli do tog rezultata? Jednostavno, rekli su ispitanicima da su prikopčani na detektor laži, i gle čuda odjednom su svi Don Juani postali vrlo skromni i zaželjeli su si isto partnera kao i žene, a to je samo jedan. Muškarci žele seksy, žene žele status Znanstvenici vjeruju da u ovom primjeru veliku ulogu igra evolucija, pa stoga muškarci traže atraktivne žene koje bi im podarile lijepo i zdravo potomstvo, dok žene traže status odnosno muškarca koji će se skrbiti o njima i njihovom potomstvu te pružit zaštitu. Ako psiholozi pitaju aktere istraživanja o idealnom partneru, to će biti najčešći odgovor. No, istraživanje provedeno 2008. godine za vrijeme tzv. brzinskog spoja (speed-dating) u kojemu akteri nemaju vremena procijeniti socijalni status potencijalnih partnera pokazalo je da muškarci i žene ne prave razliku između privlačnosti i bogatstva. "S druge strane, jedno je zamišljati idealnog partnera, a druga je stvar procijeniti stvarnu osobu", rekla je dr. Conley. Muškarci doživljavaju orgazam češće nego žene Da li su žene stvarno osuđene na propast i život bez vrhunca spolnog odnosa? Ako je vjerovati stručnjacima nisu, odnosno sve ovisi o tipu seksa, odnosno da li je prakticiran iz ljubavi ili je samo fizičko zadovoljavanje potreba s nekom osobom koju smo pokupili u disku. Istraživanje provedeno 2009. godine na uzorku od 12,925 ljudi pokazalo je da žene u stabilnoj i predanoj vezi doživljavaju orgazam u 79 posto slučajeva često kao i muškarci. Što ukazuje da predanost partnera prilikom seksa igra veću ulogu nego fizionomija tijela. Žene manje vole usputni seks nego muškarci Istraživanje provedeno 1989. godine pokazalo je da kada se muškarcima ponudi seks s nepoznatom ženom on to objeručke prihvaćaju dok žene, sve do jedne, kategorički odbijaju spavati s neznancem. No, kada se žene tražilo da zamisle hipotetsku situaciju u kojoj im neka njima poznata i atraktivna osoba ili neka poznata zvijezda predloži seks defanzivni gard naspram usputnog spolnog odnosa je nestao. Znanstvenici smatraju da žene zaziru od usputnog seksa, ne zato što su sramežljive ili da im se to gadi, nego zato što jednostavno smatraju da nepoznati muškarac nije dovoljno dobar u krevetu.