http___margaretcho.com_hr_2012_04_04_hobnob__1.xml
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Im in London and it’s cold, so very cold I don’t know how anyone can stand it. It’s the kind of chill that would break your ears off. I have gloves in my bag but I use my hands too much to put them on for any length of time so essentially they are useless. Other than the weather, I love London and I could have a ploughman’s lunch sandwich for every meal for the rest of my days if I had to. Also the cookie selection is off the chain, so to speak. They are called biscuits here, which isn’t the only thing that sets them apart. There’s a subtlety of flavor that I cannot get enough of, truly. It’s not just sweet. A depth exists within the sweet, which is at turns part salty, part grainy – a fullness of taste that doesn’t exist in the united states. They love a biscuit here, and I had been urged by an Englishman I know well to bring back packages of chocolate Hobnobs and custard creams. I wouldn’t normally, as I hate to bring anything back from anywhere for anyone, as I go everywhere all the time and if I did this, I would do nothing else, but he works on my very old (older than me, but not ridden as much) vintage motorcycle for free and even comes to my house to do it, so with much gratitude, I bought him a big selection – chocolate and dark chocolate and plain. Hopefully they will pass through customs unscathed. Hopefully they will last a night or three with me in a barren hotel room in Shepherd’s Bush uneaten. That’s the challenge, to not eat all of them in my room alone, nothing but me and the bed and the biscuits and the bitter cold outside, too frosty to consider anything but lying under the covers, maybe with the plain hobnobs for company. Perhaps he wouldn’t miss them. He did ask for chocolate after all. I had bought him a package of chocolate hobnobs last night, on arrival, at the teeming with customers Morrison’s across the street, which is the equivalent of Jon’s market in la – not Von’s – Jon’s – the off brand Von’s with all sorts of Korean ingredients and items of interest to the non-white shopper – but with the insufferable jetlag and the loneliness of the long distance traveler, they were gone by morning. I texted him in fury – how could he allow me to purchase him such a delectable treat knowing full well I’d never be able to resist them? I was surprised myself, my own greed and intense, insufferable hunger outweighing good sense and default fear and loathing of carbohydrates. He told me to be careful, that the biscuits were evil and I agree with him. They are evil because I already have decided between the last paragraph and this one to open the package of plain hobnobs. Ok I have stopped writing to eat two plain Hobnobs. That’s not bad is it? To give a gift to a talented mechanic of a package of cookies with 2 missing? It’s not my fault, it is the cookie’s – or biscuit’s doing. They’re oat based, which never digests well, and I will see fully formed oats later in my toilet future. I wonder if someone will be able to tell my fortune from these oats. I am sowing some wild oats over here. There’s another style of biscuit called ‘digestive’, which doesn’t sound good, but is so good. I think they should change the name, but then folks wouldn’t know what to ask for. They taste like those cookies you give infants when they are teething. I only know that because I used to be a Sunday school teacher/unpaid babysitter and ate quite a few sleeves of those when the infants in my care refused them. They are delicious dunked in tea, which I wouldn’t normally do, and which I am fairly opposed to because it breaks up the bind of flour and water and sugar if its not eaten within a fraction of a second, but for biscuits originating from this cold island on the other side of the atlantic, I am prepared to make a rare exception. If I lived in London I would eat only cheese and pickle sandwiches (ploughman’s lunch) and biscuits and that’s not good for anyone even said ploughman, but the food in Britain, despite what anyone will admit to, is really fucking delicious. I’d even go so far as to say it’s my favorite, and I am including the british style Indian and Chinese and indonesian cuisine that you can’t even really get in America. People eat good here, even if its humble scraps from Morrison’s or that weird Chinese take-away that looks less like a restaurant and more like a veterinarian’s office, with nothing but a receptionist at a big white desk/counter with no seats and no visible kitchen, just a menu and foil containers with white cardboard lids. Mmmmm. I am thinking I might eat all those Hobnobs. They’re plain, and he wanted chocolate.
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Im u Londonu i to je hladno, tako jako hladno Ne znam kako netko može to podnijeti. To je neka vrsta hladnoće koji će razbiti vaše uši. Imam rukavice u torbu, ali sam koristiti moje ruke previše da ih stavite na za bilo koju duljinu vremena, tako da su u biti beskorisni. Osim vremena, volim London i ja mogao imati orač je ručak sendvič za svaki obrok za ostatak mojih dana, ako sam morao. Također, izbor Cookie je pustio s lanca, da se tako izrazim. Oni su pozvani kekse ovdje, što nije jedina stvar koja ih razlikuje. Postoji Suptilnost okus koji ne mogu dobiti dovoljno, doista. To nije samo slatka. Dubina postoji unutar slatko, koja je na pretvara dio slano, dio zrnato - punina okusa koji ne postoji u Sjedinjenim Američkim Državama. Vole keks ovdje, a ja sam bio pozvao od strane Engleza Dobro znam da se vrati paketa čokolade Hobnobs i krema kreme. Ne bi normalno, mrzim donijeti ništa vratiti s bilo kojeg mjesta za svakoga, kao što sam ići posvuda cijelo vrijeme i ako sam to učinio, ja bih učiniti ništa drugo, ali on radi na moj vrlo stara (starija od mene, ali Ne voziti koliko) vintage motocikala za besplatno, pa čak i dolazi u moju kuću to učiniti, tako da s puno zahvalnosti, kupio sam mu veliki izbor - čokolada i tamna čokolada i običan. Nadam se da će proći kroz carinu neozlijeđen. Nadam se da će trajati noć ili tri sa mnom u sobi nerotkinja u Shepherd je Bush nepojedene hotela. To je izazov, da ne jedu sve od njih u svojoj sobi na miru, ništa osim mene i krevet i keksa i gorke vani hladno, previše hladan razmotriti sve samo ne leži ispod pokrivača, možda s običnim hobnobs za tvrtku. Možda ne bi ih propustiti. On nije tražio čokolade nakon svega. Imao sam ga kupio paket čokolade hobnobs sinoć, po dolasku, na prepunim kupci Morrison je s druge strane ulice, što je ekvivalent od Jon tržištu u LA-u - ne von-a - Jon - off brand Von-a sa svim vrstama korejskih sastojaka i predmeti od interesa za ne-bijele shopper - ali s nepodnošljive jetlag i usamljenosti na međugradske putnik, oni su otišli do jutra. Ja ga texted u bijesu - kako je mogao dopustiti da mu kupiti takav sladak poslastica dobro znajući da nikada ne bih bio u mogućnosti da im odolio? Bio sam iznenađen, svoju pohlepu i intenzivan, nepodnošljiv glad snažnijima dobar osjećaj i zadanu Strah i prezir ugljikohidrata. Rekao mi je da bude oprezan, da su keksi su zlo i slažem se s njim. Oni su zlo, jer sam već odlučio između zadnjeg stava i ovaj jedan se otvorili paket običan hobnobs. U redu sam prestao pisati pojesti dvije obične Hobnobs. To nije loše? Dati dar za talentiranog mehaničara paketa kolačića sa 2 nedostaje? To nije moja krivica, to je Cookie-a - ili pecivo djelo. Oni su zob, na temelju kojih nikad ne probavlja dobro, i ja ću vidjeti potpunosti formirana zob kasnije u mom WC budućnosti. Pitam se da li će netko biti u mogućnosti reći svoje bogatstvo od tih zobi. Ja sam sjetve neke divlje zobi ovamo. Tu je još jedan stil biskvita zove 'probavni', što ne zvuči dobro, ali je tako dobro. Mislim da bi trebao promijeniti ime, ali onda ljudi ne bi znali što tražiti. Oni okus poput onih kolačića koji dajete djecu kada su dobivanje zuba. Ja samo znam da je jer sam nekad bio učitelj vjeronauka / neplaćenog dadilju i jeli dosta rukave onih kada su djeca u mojoj skrbi ih je odbio. Oni su ukusni dunked u čaj, što ne bih normalno raditi, i koji sam prilično suprotno jer razbija vezanje od brašna i vode i šećera, ako je ne pojede u djeliću sekunde, ali za kekse podrijetlom iz ovako hladno otok s druge strane Atlantika, spreman sam napraviti rijetku iznimku. Ako sam živio u Londonu bih jesti samo sir i Pickle sendviče (orač je ručak) i kekse, a to nije dobro za svakoga, čak je rekao orač, ali hrana u Velikoj Britaniji, unatoč tome što svatko će priznati da, stvarno jebeno ukusna. Ja bih čak idu tako daleko da kažu da je moj favorit, a ja sam uključujući britanskom stilu indijske i kineske i indonezijske kuhinje koje možete čak i stvarno ne mogu dobiti u Americi. Ljudi jedu dobro ovdje, čak i ako je svojih skromnih bilješke iz Morrison-a ili tog čudnog kineski take-away koja izgleda manje kao restoran i više kao veterinar uredu, sa ništa ali recepcionar na veliki bijeli stol / pult bez mjesta i bez vidljivih kuhinja, samo meni i folije spremnici s bijelim kartonskim poklopcima. Mmmmm. Mislim da bi mogao jesti sve one Hobnobs. Oni su obični, a on je htio čokoladu.