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My Happy Life with my Husband and 2 Kids Monday, October 15, 2012 Tuesday, September 18, 2012 What makes a Seafarer's Wife Sexy? pros and cons, but here's how others make it work to become sexy: Faith in God Have an Unwavering faith to the Almighty and grateful for life's trials and blessings. Character Life is not a bed of roses, to be able to make a complete turnaround of events demands theinner strength in you. Good Values It defines your being. Stand firm with your beliefs. Beautiful eyes The windows to your soul, catches everyone's heart. It is an outward expression of your hidden emotions. Keep an eye contact during every conversation. Reserve those bedroom look for your someone special. Captivating Smile It is magnetizes people. Keep them coming with every person you meet. Walk with Confidence A woman who carries herself well, unmindful of her physical flaws is appealing. Maintain a good posture, may it be a ''tsunami" walk or not. Intelligence We are all blessed with different forms of intelligence-whether it's the traditional, emotional, or simply being"street smarts." No one loves dumb women. Honesty It's sometimes easier to lie than it is to be honest about everything. Honesty is the key to lasting relationships. It's a very endearing trait. Ambition There are many forms of ambition — a doctor works hard, but so does a homemaker, that most Seafarer's wives are. Drive and hard work are admirable traits in a woman. Passion Passion goes with ambition, but it also adds to the X factor. As women, we should not let age, or family deter from pursuing to discover our innate talents, innovating, and using it to pay forward. The Ability to Say, "No" When an ex sends a friend request in any social-networking site, she should be able to decline it. She can say, "no" to bad influences. She does whatever she wants to do whenever she wants to do it, and it's her decision and no one else's. Being Mysterious Sometimes, it is best to leave something in you for them to discover. Stay with-in your budget Go for quality and not quantity. Always save something for the rainy day. Maintain an ideal weight Keeping fit and healthy makes one look gorgeous at all time. Let's face it, whether, we like itor not MEN are born admirers of physical beauty because that's what catches their fancy first. However, keeping their eyes on you, is a lifetime challenge to take.-:) How to Make a Seafarer's Marriage Fun heart power or body power. Find real happiness in relationships that are meaningful. Make every moment that you are together worthwhile. Wednesday, September 12, 2012 These are the wisdoms held deeply in the hearts of the seafarers wife As he reached the ship and stood upon her deck, he raises his voice and says: Though the sea bid me leave you, It is not without regret that I do so, yet I must go. For we are the keepers of the sea, ever seeking the lonelier way, I will begin nor end no day without thoughts of you, Brief will be my days among you, and briefer still my words I have spoken, though they be from my inner seafarers soul, I go with the wind but not into emptiness. "She listens with her heart as she stands among the crowds, watching the departing of his ship upon the sea, each one possesses the knowledge of the winds beneath his wings without complete understanding". She turns once more towards the sea, her soul crying out to him in its silent cry, singing, how often have you sailed away in my dreams, and now in my awakening, which is deeper than within my dreams How can she depart from her pain and aloneness without regret? She closes her eyes, and prays in the silences of her soul. How shall I depart in peace, without sorrow, not without a wound, in my spirit shall I leave this shore, sadness engulfs her, with the thoughts of her lover in her heart. Long are her days of pain, filled with the longing of his embrace, as long will be the nights of her aloneness: Not without thoughts, of what will not be, until his return, a heart made bittersweet, with hunger and thirst. For as the sea calls all things unto herself, so shall the sea quench her hunger and thirst. She does not walk in vain, she has said in truth, that truth shall reveal itself in a clearer voice, and in more words closer to her own thoughts, If a day is not fulfilled of her needs and her love, then let it be a promise till another day, for no sunrise will find her where sunset left her. She stands bare foot in the sands of the evening tide as the ocean spirit speaks to her, I know your joy and your pain, if this day is not a fulfillment of your needs, and your love, then let it be a promise till another day, when the tide brings back your lover, yet again from across the sea, to greet thee with his love. Another breath, another loving look cast toward the sea, she sets her brow, her pride rising to take its place, as she holds its treasure in her heart, for the sea knows her joy is her sorrow unmasked, with head held high, its pride seen by all, who behold her beauty and are mystified at her strength, that only the seafarer of her wanting soul understands. These are the wisdoms held deeply in the heart of the seafarers wife. and this is my feelings when my husband is onboard...i really love him and miss him so much... Tuesday, September 11, 2012 Heavy school bags putting children at risk of back pain They warned the heavy bags put pressure on discs between the vertebrae which can lead to long-term back pain in small, developing bodies. Children can also suffer muscular pain, headaches, tingling and numbness in the arms and legs and even mobility problems. Liar, liar! Top 10 lies moms tell Missing candy Absolutely not! Your dad and I would never have stayed up late last night eating all the rest of your delicious Easter candy. How to cut your child's sugar intake "The ice cream shop just isn't open." Strange hours Gee, sweetie. I really wish we could get ice cream, too. But the ice cream shop just isn't open on Tuesdays. School rules I'm sorry, but you can't wear your favorite SpongeBob shirt today. The school called, and they made a new rule that you can no longer wear shirts with stains and holes in them. Phony phone calls Sorry, sweetheart. That kid that really grates on my nerves can't possibly join us at the zoo today. Yes, I totally called his mom. Annoying toys that go MIA I can't possibly imagine what happened to that toy that kept me up all night honking, whistling and singing nursery rhymes at a decibel so high only dogs can hear. Who knows? Maybe you lost it in the park. Sleeping cartoon character Bummer. You can't watch cartoons because Handy Manny and Thomas the Train are too tired to be on TV right now and are taking a nap. Magic is real Your friend is wrong. The tooth fairy is real. How do I know? I'm sure I saw him last week hiding something under your pillow. Cheapo tooth fairies And speaking of tooth fairies… Did you know the tooth fairy only has so much money for each household? That's why he can't afford to give you $5 like your friend Joey. He only gets that much because he's an only child. Dirty laundry Oh, no, honey. Your favorite blue dress you asked me to wash special for today is completely clean. It just looks wrinkled because I didn't fold it. Dead pets Don't cry. Mr. Fishy went to be with all the other fishies in the sky. What? No, I would never flush Mr. Fishy down the toilet. That was just a… um… yellow leaf I found on the floor. 5 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Their Kids Tiger moms and French parents get the results they want largely because of what they say. But besides using words to get kids to do what they want, how moms and dads communicate with their kids directly impacts the parent-child relationship long term. And it's the simple statements parents make, usually in a moment of frustration with their young children, which can cause the most damage later on. "Words hurt and they can't be taken back, so be careful" says Debbie Pincus, a therapist, parenting coach and author of "The Calm Parent: AM & PM." Team Mom on Shine asked Pincus and other parenting experts about the most common phrases that moms and dads say to young kids in the midst of parental panic. Don't feel bad if you've said them most parents have! "We're human. Our lives are crazy and sometimes we don't give ourselves time to pause and think," she says. "We don't want to be so careful that we're not authentic. We're real. Be passionate with your kids, be real, say what's on your mind. Say it passionately. Just be conscious and responsible, no matter who we talk to." Pincus adds that calm is contagious and better things come out of our mouths when we stop ourselves from reacting in the moment. The bottom line is that as parents, we're teaching our kids how we want them to behave in similar situations; modeling the desired behavior is key. Check out what Pincus and others had to say about five things parents shouldn't say to kids and how to turn a moment of frustration into a positive life lesson. "I don't care." Little kids love to share details...of their playground conversations with friends, of the cloud formation they think looks like a sea serpent, of why they squeezed an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub. And sometimes? Parents just don't want to hear the specifics. But beware of saying "I don't care!" because you're cutting off communication with your child and saying that something important to him or her isn't so important to you. "Most parents have a difficult time once children reach the adolescent stages and complain that their teens are not communicative with them. Well, the question must be asked then, 'How has the parent-child communication been nurtured throughout the child's life?'" says Melinda Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker with ESCAPE Family Resource Center in Houston. "The process of parent-child communication must evolve positively over the years. There's an unspoken trust that occurs when communication is nurtured." Try this: Garcia recommends that parents let the child know an issue can be discussed later, perhaps at a better time when the parent is more focused. She stresses, however, that parents must follow through. "Don't let the day end without addressing your child's need to share with you." "Act your age!" Your daughter is seven years old but you think she's acting like she's three...and you tell her so. Pincus says this common reaction is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "It's just not working out for the parent," she says. "It makes us feel better in the moment." The result? Kids hear their parents criticizing them at a time when they, as children, are having trouble and perhaps need some help gaining control. Try this: Says Pincus, "When you are stirred up, just take that pause. Come up with an effective response instead of a reaction. Most of what we do is a knee-jerk reaction. That pause helps to get that adrenaline down so you can get the thinking part of your brain working instead of the emotional part of the brain." "Say you're sorry!" Your preschooler takes a toy from another child and makes him or her cry. You instantly tell your child to say sorry for his or her actions. You're trying to teach your child to be compassionate, which is a laudable goal. But "forcing a child to apologize does not teach a child social skills," says Bill Corbett, a parent educator, author, and producer/host of the parenting TV show "Creating Cooperative Kids." Young children don't automatically understand why they have to apologize. Corbett says that if parent forces a child to say they are sorry, "it could delay the child's natural acceptance" of apologizing. Try this: Apologize to the child for your kid as a way to model the behavior you're trying to encourage. And make sure that when you're in situations where an apology is warranted, you deliver it just as easily. "Don't you get it?" You've taught your kid how to catch a baseball five times over. Or how to add and subtract fractions. But when your child shows signs that it's not clicking for him or her, you hastily ask, "Don't you get it?" Learning specialist and author Jill Lauren tells Team Mom on Shine that this comment is degrading. "If the child 'got it,' which he desperately wants to do in order to please his parent, it would be clear. Implicit in a 'don't you get it' comment are the judgments of 'Why don't you get it?' followed by 'What's wrong with you for not getting it?' While a parent may not mean to send those messages, that is the message the child receives." Try this: Take a break. If you're stuck on how to teach your child something, step away. Return to the "lesson" when you're ready to try again, perhaps after researching alternative approaches to teaching whatever it is your child is trying to learn. "I'm going to leave without you!" Your kid refuses to leave the toy store or a park and you are going to be late for an appointment. So you issue an ultimatum sure to freak your child out: "I'm going to leave without you!" For young kids, fear of parental abandonment is very real. But what happens when your threat doesn't work? "The biggest problem is that we want our kids to believe what we say. For a whole host of reasons, we need our kids to believe us. If you want them to believe what we say is true, we cannot say something that is patently false," says Deborah Gilboa, a family doctor, parenting speaker, and mom of four boys. The result is that the child quickly learns that mom or dad makes empty threats. "Parents say it because they don't know what else to do...it's a bad idea," says Dr. Gilboa: "You need to strive not to make empty threats. If you plant a flag, you have to defend it...say what you mean and follow through." Try this: Don't tell your kids you're going to leave without them. Instead, plan ahead. Chances are high that you've seen your child behave this way before. You know what will trigger a tantrum. What will you say if your child throws a fit or refuses to leave? "It's okay to identify unacceptable behavior," says Dr. Gilboa. "You can tell them it's not acceptable but you have to motivate them with a consequence that you can carry out."
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Riječi koje boleStvari koje ni u ludilu ne biste trebali govoriti djeci Nije nikakva tajna da bi roditelji trebali posvetiti više pozornosti komunikaciji s djecom, jer nije važno samo ono što kažemo djeci, nego i sam način na koji to izgovorimo.Način na koji roditelji komuniciraju sa svojom djecom ostavlja trajne posljedice na ovoj relaciji, dok najveću štetu rade one stvari koje roditelji u ljutnji kažu svojoj djeci. Iako se u velikoj većini slučajeva nešto kasnije pokaju zbog teških riječi izrečenih u trenucima ljutnje, to je već ostavilo ožiljak na djeci kojima su takve riječi bile upućene. 'Riječi bole i ne možete ih povući, pa budite oprezni kako ih koristite', kaže terapeutkinja Debbie Pincus, koja je ovim putem navela najčešće izraze koje roditelji koriste u ljutnji, kao i objašnjenje zbog kojih bi to pod hitno trebali prestati raditi. Baš me briga Mala djeca obožavaju dijeliti detalje s igrališta i vrijeme koje su proveli s prijateljima, o formaciji oblaka koju su vidjeli na nebu ili o trenutku kada su slučajno istisnuli cijelu pastu za zube u kupku. S druge strane, roditelji ponekad ne žele čuti baš svaki detalj. No, to nije dopuštenje da svom djetetu govorite – baš me briga! Na taj način nepovratno prekidate komunikaciju s djetetom i dajete mu do znanja da ne marite za nešto što je njemu važno. 'Većina roditelja suočava se s teškim razdobljem kada njihova djeca dosegnu tinejdžersku dob i tada se ponajviše tuže na to da tinejdžeri ne žele komunicirati s njima. U tom slučaju roditelji se moraju zapitati kakva je bila njihova komunikacija dok je dijete odrastalo. Proces komunikacije između roditelja i djeteta mora se razvijati dugi niz godina u dobrom smjeru i tada između njih postoji određena doza povjerenja na temelju koje tinejdžeri i dalje imaju potrebu povjeriti se svojim roditeljima', tvrdi socijalna radnica Melinda Garcia. Isprobajte ovo: Garcia preporučuje da roditelji djetetu daju do znanja da će o određenim stvarima ili problemima popričati malo kasnije u za to prigodnijem vremenu, kada roditelj bude imao više koncentracije. No, svakako se držite tog dogovora i ne dopustite da prođe cijeli dan bez da ste s djetetom popričali o onome što ga muči. Ponašaš se kao da su ti tri godine! Vaša kći ima sedam godina, ali vi smatrate da se ponaša kao da su joj samo tri godine... i to ste joj dali do znanja. Pincus tvrdi da se ovo ne događa toliko zbog djetetovog ponašanja, koliko zbog roditeljske ambicije da kontroliraju svoje dijete i, naposljetku, iskažu vlastite frustracije. Izgovaranje ove rečenice možda će učiniti da se tog trenutka osjećate malo bolje, ali krajnji rezultat će biti takav da će dijete uvidjeti da ga kritizirate u vrijeme kada ima problema i možda treba pomoć pri stjecanju kontrole. Isprobajte ovo: Kada ste frustrirani, samo uzmite pauzu. U međuvremenu se dosjetite efektnog odgovora umjesto reakcije. Većina onog što radimo zapravo su nesvjesne reakcije, a ova će vam pauza pomoći da spustite adrenalin u svom tijelu kako biste uključili dio mozga koji razmišlja umjesto emocionalnog dijela mozga. Reci da ti je žao! Vaš je predškolarac uzeo igračku drugom djetetu koje se zbog toga rasplakao, a vi reagirate tako da tjerate svoje dijete da se ispriča za svoje akcije. Iako na ovaj način pokušavate naučiti dijete da bude suosjećajno, što je pohvalan cilj, to radite na potpuno pogrešan način kojim ga ne učite socijalnim vještinama, tvrdi autor i učitelj Bill Corbett. Mala djeca nisu još sposobna automatski razumjeti za što se točno moraju ispričati, a ako ga prisiljavate da se ispriča za nešto što još nije procesuirao i shvatio u čemu je pogriješio, to će samo odgoditi djetetov prirodni nagon da se ispriča. Isprobajte ovo: U ime svog djeteta ispričajte se uplakanom djetetu i na taj mu način pokažite model ponašanja koji nastojite potaknuti. Kako ne shvaćaš!? Već ste pet puta učili dijete kako da uhvati loptu, ali kada vaše dijete 'žica' da mu pokažete još jednom, vi mu ljutito odbrusite: 'Zar ne shvaćaš?!' Ovakav je komentar iznimno degradirajući, sudeći po izjavama specijalistice i autorice Jill Lauren. 'Ako je dijete shvatilo što mu govorite, što se očajnički trudi napraviti kako bi zadovoljio svoje roditelje, to bi itekako bilo jasno. Postavljanjem ovakvog pitanja zapravo ga pitate – zašto to ne shvaćaš?! Nakon čega slijedi – što nije u redu s tobom da ne shvaćaš?! Iako roditelj možda nema namjeru odaslati takve poruke, one su ono što dijete prima', tvrdi Lauren. Isprobajte ovo: Uzmite pauzu. Ako ste zapeli na učenje vašeg djeteta jedne te iste stvari, uzmite predah i radite nešto drugo. Ovoj 'lekciji' se vratite kasnije, kada osjetite da ste spremni ponovno probati, možda nakon malog istraživanja alternativnih pristupa u podučavanju onog što vaše dijete pokušava naučiti. Otići ću bez tebe! Vaše dijete odbija napustiti trgovinu dječjim igračkama, a vi ćete zakasniti na važan sastanak pa izgovarate ultimatum koji će zasigurno nasmrt preplašiti vaše dijete: 'Otići ću bez tebe!' Za malu djecu strah od roditeljskog odbacivanja vrlo je stvaran, no što se dogodi kada vaša prijetnja ne uspije? 'Najveći je problem u tome što želimo da naša djeca vjeruju u ono što im govorimo. Zbog pregršt razloga potrebno nam je da nam djeca vjeruju. Ako zbilja želite da vam dijete vjeruje, nemojte mu govoriti nešto što je djelomično neistinito', savjetuje obiteljska liječnica i terapeutkinja Deborah Gilboa. Rezultat ovih vaših riječi je taj što će dijete naučiti da njegovi mama ili tata izgovaraju lažne prijetnje. 'Roditelji ovo govore jer nemaju pojma što više napraviti, ali ovo je u svakom slučaju iznimno loša ideja. Nikako ne biste trebali prosipati lažne prijetnje. Ako razvijete zastavu, tada je morate i braniti. Govorite ono što mislite i držite se obećanja', kaže Gilboa. Isprobajte ovo: Nemojte reći djetetu da ćete otići bez njega. Umjesto toga, unaprijed planirajte. Velike su šanse da ste već prije svjedočili identičnom ponašanju svog djeteta, pa znate što će pokrenuti njegov napadaj bijesa. Kažite im kako njihovo ponašanje nije prihvatljivo, ali ih istovremeno nečim motivirajte da vam vjeruju i da vas poslušaju kada im kažete da je vrijeme da se krene.