http___lingolero.com_kutak__1.xml
1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 1.9 1.10 1.11 2.1 2.2 2.3 2.4 2.5 2.6 2.7 2.8 2.9 2.10 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 3.8 3.9 3.10 3.11 3.12 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 5.1 6.1 6.2 6.3 6.4
The similarities between Santa and System Admins 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. Santa seldom answers your mail. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me." Santa doesn't care about your deadlines. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions. Santa laughs entirely too much. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your HOME. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence. Shouldn’t guests leave a banquet fed up? Isn’t it odd that to tell time, you look at the hands on the face on the wrist? Doesn’t it seem the opposite of ability should be nobility? In court, how come you can’t swear except under oath? Why does worthless mean the opposite of priceless? Why do we iron our clothes and paper our walls? Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? Isn’t anything underwater also over water? Aren’t half-baked ideas rare? How come someone can be canny and uncanny at the same time? Is it good if a vacuum really sucks? Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand? Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing? Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting? Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected? Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites? Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Why is bra singular and panties plural? Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? Why does St. Nicholas have a white beard? So he can hide at the North Pole! What do you call St. Nicholas when he has no money? Saint "Nickel"-less! Please read the following text: Black background, brown background, blue background. Black background, brown background, blue background. Black background, brown background, blue background. And this time do it properly :D
1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 1.8 1.9 1.10 2.1 2.2 2.3 3.1 3.2 3.3 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.7 3.8 3.9 3.10 3.11 3.12 3.13 3.14 3.15 3.16 3.17 3.18 3.19 3.20 3.21 3.22 3.23 3.24 3.25 3.26 3.27 3.28 3.29 3.30 4.1 4.2 4.3 4.4 4.5 4.6 4.7 4.8 4.9 4.10
The similarities between Santa and System Admins 1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny. 2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal. 3. Santa seldom answers your mail. 4. When you ask Santa where he gets all the stuff he's got, he says, "Elves make it for me." 5. Santa doesn't care about your deadlines. 6. Your parents ascribed supernatural powers to Santa, but did all the work themselves. 7. Nobody knows who Santa has to answer to for his actions. 8. Santa laughs entirely too much. 9. Santa thinks nothing of breaking into your HOME. 10. Only a lunatic says bad things about Santa in his presence. Ako ste se već susreli s frazom horse sense, onda znate da ona znači zdrav razum. Porijeklo fraze navodno dolazi od samih konja jer su iznimno inteligentne životinje, iako neki zagovaraju teoriju da se termin horse sense zapravo odnosi na znanje o konjima jer da biste se bavili konjima, uzgajali ih ili prodavali, morati štošta znati o njima. Primjer: The government had announced that they would cut the taxes, but everybody had too much horse sense not to believe them. Još su od davnina ljudi pokušavali imitirati zvukove iz prirode. Kada su izmislili pismo, pokušavali su te zvukove pretočiti u znakove. Imitiranje zvukova jezičnim sredstvima nazivamo onomatopejom. Onomatopeja dolazi od grčke riječi onoma (ime) i poiein (napraviti), a može oponašati životinjsko glasanje ili zvukove iz okoline. Pogotovo je popularna u stripovima. Možda najbolji primjer onomatopeje jest kucanje (glagol koji je također nastao posredstvom ove jezične figure) kuc kuc. Čim začujemo ove riječi, odmah pomislimo tko je na vratima. No, naravno, nije sve tako jednostavno. Jer čim prijeđete granicu i uđete u neku drugu državu te nekome pokušate ispričati jedan od kuc-kuc viceva, nitko vas neće razumjeti. To je zato što je onomatopeja također ograničena jezičnim sredstvima i ima onoliku slobodu oponašanja koliko joj određeni jezik dopusti. Zbog toga ćete u engleskom pričati knock knock jokes, u njemakom Klopf Klopf Witzen, u Francuskoj toc toc blagues, a u Španjolskoj chistes de toc toc. Ako imate dijete i psa i još k tome živite u Hrvatskoj, učit ćete ga da 'pas kaže vau vau'. Nijemac će svoje dijete učiti da pas kaže wau-wau, a Englez woof woof. Međutim, odete li u Francusku, na ulici će vam se pas 'obratiti' s ouah ouah, a u Španjolskoj s guau guau. Kada bi vaš pas znao čitati, vjerojatno ne bi imao pojma što su njegovi kolege sa stranom putovnicom htjeli reći. Ukoliko preferirate mačke, možete odahnuti jer bi se vaša mačka poprilično dobro snašla u bijelom svijetu. Tako bi se hrvatski mijau jako dobro sporazumio s njemačkim i španjolskim miau te francuskim miaou. Međutim, vaša bi mačka morala biti jako dobro jezično potkovana ako bi dobila pismo tete Mace iz Kanade jer bi je vjerojatno pozdravila s meow. Na ispaši bi već situacija bila poprilično zanimljiva. Hrvatske bi krave spisateljice pisale pjesmice počevši s mu, španjolske s muuu, njemačke s muh, francuske s meuh, a engleske s moo. Sreća da sve isto zvuče. Odemo li još korak dalje i sazovemo veliku konferenciju peradi, nastao bi pravi lom. Kokoši bi se vjerojatno raštrkale po dvorištu vičući svaka na svom jeziku; Hrvatice kokodak, Engleskinje cluck, Njemice gack, gack, ili gock, gock, kako koja, a Španjolke coc co co coc. Povremeno bi koja Francuskinja dobacila svoje cotcotcodet. Vrlo je moguće da bi za isto vrijeme pijetlovi obavljali svoju službenu korespondenciju pozdravljajući se svaki na svom jeziku; na hrvatskom kukuriku, na engleskom cockadoodle do doo, na njemačkom kikeriki, na francuskom cocorico te konačno, na španjolskom quiquiriquí. I onda još kažu da ne treba učiti jezike! Čitavu smo njihovu komunikaciju u našem ljudskom jeziku, ili bolje, u našim ljudskim jezicima, sveli na jednu jedinu riječ ili izraz. Onako kako smo najbolje mogli, znali, umjeli i onako kako nam je to naš jezik dopustio. Ipak, ako se akteri ove naše male priče nađu u inozemstvu, dovoljno će im biti da se pogledaju, ponjuše i samo jednom oglase kako bi se razumjeli. To se, nažalost, ne može reći za nas ljude jer nama nije dovoljno da nekoga vidimo ili čujemo i već na prvu znamo što misli. Shouldn’t guests leave a banquet fed up? Isn’t it odd that to tell time, you look at the hands on the face on the wrist? Doesn’t it seem the opposite of ability should be nobility? In court, how come you can’t swear except under oath? Why does worthless mean the opposite of priceless? Why do we iron our clothes and paper our walls? Why do caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing? Isn’t anything underwater also over water? Aren’t half-baked ideas rare? How come someone can be canny and uncanny at the same time?