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This morning, on my morning run with a friend who is faster than me, I was doing fine until I tried to clear some congestion from my throat. Instead, I gagged myself and ended up puking and dry heaving for several minutes, as He slipped completely out of site ahead of me. I thought to myself, “well that ends my run” — even though I was only halfway into a 1.8 mile run and was at the absolute furthest point possible from getting back home. As I continued wrenching for about 4 minutes, I wondered how long it would take me to get home in this condition, and realized there was no easy way to just call someone to come get me. Then I remembered a rally cry from Billy Bob on the movie Varsity Blues who cried out, “Puke and rally!” Now that might seem like an interesting rally cry reference for a Christian message, because for Billy Bob that was a cry for him as he ran back into the party for more alcohol abuse. But I remembered it because in my younger days, puking was more often the result of alcohol abuse and partying than it was from sickness or pushing myself near the limits of exercise, etc. In this case, I just wanted to make it home, so I started talking steps, then before I knee it, I was back to a fast walking pace, and when I got to that first downhill, I was running again. You see, I didn’t give up. I couldn’t give up. What was my option? To lay down and die in the mix of mud and my own puke? I say this to encourage you today. No matter where you are. No matter what you have gotten yourself into. No matter how far away from home you feel you’ve gone. No matter how far away you feel like you are from God and how hard you think it might be to get back. Puke up that mess that is in your life that isn’t glorifying God. Give it up, it is killing you. Turn back to God. Stay walking home. Just take that first step of submitting yourself to Him. Accept Him not just as a promised Savior, but as a living Lord of your life, and He will come and strengthen you like a good friend and will bring you home. “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels when even one sinner repents.” To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’ “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began. “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’ “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’ “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”
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„Ovaj tvoj brat bijaše mrtav i oživje.„ U ono vrijeme: Okupljahu se oko njega svi carinici i grešnici da ga slušaju. Stoga farizeji i pismoznanci mrmljahu: »Ovaj prima grešnike, i blaguje s njima.« Nato im Isus kaza ovu prispodobu: »Čovjek neki imao dva sina. Mlađi reče ocu: ’Oče, daj mi dio dobara koji mi pripada.’ I razdijeli im imanje. Nakon nekoliko dana mlađi sin pokupi sve, otputova u daleku zemlju i ondje potrati svoja dobra živeći razvratno. Kad sve potroši, nasta ljuta glad u onoj zemlji te on poče oskudijevati. Ode i pribi se kod jednoga žitelja u onoj zemlji. On ga posla na svoja polja pasti svinje. Želio se nasititi rogačima što su ih jele svinje, ali mu ih nitko nije davao. Došavši k sebi, reče: ’Koliki najamnici oca moga imaju kruha napretek, a ja ovdje umirem od gladi! Ustat ću, poći svomu ocu i reći mu: ’Oče, sagriješih protiv Neba i pred tobom! Nisam više dostojan zvati se sinom tvojim. Primi me kao jednog od svojih najamnika.’ Usta i pođe svom ocu. Dok je još bio daleko, njegov ga otac ugleda, ganu se, potrča, pade mu oko vrata i izljubi ga. A sin će mu: ’Oče! Sagriješih protiv Neba i pred tobom! Nisam više dostojan zvati se sinom tvojim.’ A otac reče slugama: ’Brzo iznesite haljinu najljepšu i obucite ga! Stavite mu prsten na ruku i obuću na noge! Tele ugojeno dovedite i zakoljite, pa da se pogostimo i proveselimo jer sin mi ovaj bijaše mrtav i oživje, izgubljen bijaše i nađe se!’ I stadoše se veseliti. A stariji mu sin bijaše u polju. Kad se na povratku približio kući, začu svirku i igru pa dozva jednoga slugu da se raspita što je to. A ovaj će mu: ’Došao tvoj brat pa otac tvoj zakla tele ugojeno što sina zdrava dočeka.’ A on se rasrdi i ne htjede ući. Otac tada iziđe i stane ga nagovarati. A on će ocu: ’Evo toliko ti godina služim i nikada ne prestupih tvoju zapovijed, a nikad mi ni jareta nisi dao da se s prijateljima proveselim. A kada dođe ovaj sin tvoj koji s bludnicama proždrije tvoje imanje, ti mu zakla ugojeno tele.’ Nato će mu otac: ’Sinko, ti si uvijek sa mnom i sve moje – tvoje je. No trebalo se veseliti i radovati jer ovaj brat tvoj bijaše mrtav i oživje, izgubljen i nađe se!’« Poziv na oproštenje i pomirenje. Redovito volimo ovu prispodobu nazivati “O izgubljenom sinu”. Međutim, ovoje daleko više prispodoba o milosrdnom ocu. Otac je pravi subjekt ove Isusove priče. Otac je najaktivniji. Otac preuzima inicijativu u sva tri dijela ove prispodobe. Otac je tu neprestano budan i spreman praštati i ljubiti. Vjerujem da se i sami volimo negdje pronaći čitajući ili slušajući ovu prispodobu. Najčešće pomislimo da se prepoznajemo u mlađem sinu. On je tip slaba, grešna čovjeka, koji je sposoban učiniti i velike grijehe, koji može duboko raniti drugoga. Takav je svaki grešnik. Zato je cijela ova prispodoba poziv na obraćenje, na povratak Ocu, na ispovijed i pomirenje. Međutim, okolnosti ove prispodobe su rječite: Isus blaguje s carinicima i grešnicima. Farizejima i pismoznancima to ne ide u glavu. Mrmljali su na Isusa: Kako smije to činiti! Isus očito želi u ovoj prispodobi ocrtati ova dva tipa ljudi: sjedne strane carinike i grešnike – to je mlađi sin; s druge strane farizeje i pismoznance – to je stariji sin. Mlađi je sin sposoban za velika nedjela, ali također i za povratak, obraćenje, prihvaća i prepoznaje ljubav što je otac ima za njega. Stariji je sin pravedan, vrši sve što zakon propisuje, ne želi ničim povrijediti uredne odnose u kući. Međutim, on ne pozna ljubav. On ne shvaća životnu istinu. On misli da može zaslužiti očevu ljubav, da kod oca zarađuje određena životna prava. Odatle u njemu pobuna na rasipnu milosrdnu ljubav njegova oca prema rasipnom bratu. Zapravo u njegovim očima nije toliko njegov brat rasipan, koliko otac koji se razbacuje znakovima ljubavi prema ovom propalici. To je ono farizejsko u nama svima. Bog je Otac. A mi bismo uvijek iznova htjeli nekako zadužiti Oca, htjeli bismo zaslužiti nebo, htjeli bismo zaraditi ono što se ne da ničim isplatiti. Tu je riječ o ljubavi i zakonu. Dakako da ova prispodoba ne želi nikoga ohrabriti na rasipan i grešan život. Naprotiv, u razgovoru sa starijim sinom očito izlazi ono što mi tako teško shvaćamo: da ono iskustvo sto ga je mlađi sin imao nije bio život. To je smrt. To ne ulazi u životni staž. Njegov povratak Ocu je istinski novi početak, on je ustao na novi život. Stariji sin misli da je njegov brat proživio svoje dane. Misli da se naužio života; da ima nešto od života. Gotovo da se možemo prepoznati kad počnemo zaviđati grešnicima: kao da nas kršćane Božji zakon sputava i da mi zapravo često nemamo od života ono što bismo mogli imati kad ne bi bilo tog Božjeg zakona. Smatramo životom ono što život nije. “Ovaj brat tvoj bijaše mrtav i oživje!” tvrdi otac nagovarajući starijeg sina da se i on počne radovati ovom događaju. Ovu je prispodobu Isus izrekao i nama. Ona je za sva vremena. Nema nikoga na svijetu, pa ne znam koliko i kako sagriješio, a da ne bi imao moguć pristup Ocu. Bog je dobar. On je davatelj života. Iskreno pokajanje, čežnja za životom, prihvaćanje njegova zagrljaja – to je dovoljno da se uđe u iskustvo novog, čistog, Božjeg života. Jedina pretpostavka u svemu tome jest: istinsko prepoznavanje svoga stanja. Mlađi je sin, kako kaže danas evanđelje, “konačno došao k sebi”, shvatio je što se dogodilo, vidio je istinu svojih odnosa: prema Bogu, prema ocu, prema sebi. I odlučio se vratiti. Bilo bi divno kad bismo sebe vidjeli u Božjoj ljubavi i u jednostavnosti svojeg vjerničkog života. Možda nisi imao dramatsko iskustvo rasipnog sina, možda se nikad nisi udaljio od Boga nekim teškim prestupkom zakona, možda je tvoj život protekao u relativnoj vjernosti i nastojanju oko dobra. Raduj se i shvati: to je tajna onoga što Otac govori starijem sinu, ne očekuj plače za to, jer onda ostaješ lišen iskustva ljubavi. U iskrenom i ustrajnom nastojanju oko dobra “sve moje tvoje je”, govori Otac. “Imaš pravo na moju ljubav.” Kako bi bilo divno kad bismo svaki dan svog života prepoznali kao dar ljubavi. Nije potrebno otići od Oca da se na povratku konačno osjeti i vidi: Otac neizrecivo ljubi. Jer Otac ljubi neprestano, svakog dana, u svakodnevici života. I bila je gozba. Na gozbu su pozvani i mlađi i stariji sin. Pozvani su kao braća. “Treba se radovati jer ovaj brat tvoj bijaše mrtav – i oživje!” Gozba – to je, u svjetlu evanđelja, euharistija. To je ovo što sad činimo. To je objava neizrecive ljubavi u kojem nam se ne nudi za hranu ni ugojeno tele, ni jare da se s prijateljima proveselimo. Ovdje nam se objavljuje ljubav, skrivena u tajni kruha, u tajni Isusa koji je svojom žrtvom na križu potvrdio da nam njegov i nas nebeski Otac svoju ljubav nikad neće uskratiti.