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#316 – Pillow Talk With Ash Williams/ On today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show we’re joined by Ash Williams. Ash is an Australian comedian, podcaster, host, actor and writer. We discuss: A round of apologies Champagne and a foot fetish Jumping the fence during Melbourne cup week Ash’s brand deals A Seth Godin impersonation Owing $2000 USD How to really use an asthma puffer Being on the cover of Fitness First Magazine Relationships, dating and the psychologist Ash on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashwilliams1/ Ash’s podcast, The Ash Williams Show: http://www.ashwilliams.com.au/podcasts Watch today’s episode of The Daily Talk Show podcast at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKAJVKhCsR4 Subscribe and listen to The Daily Talk Show podcast at https://bigmediacompany.com.au/thedailytalkshow/ Email us: hi@bigmediacompany.com.au Send us mail: PO BOX 400, Abbotsford VIC 3067 A conversation sometimes worth recording with mates Tommy Jackett & Josh Janssen. Each weekday, Tommy & Josh chat about life, creativity, business and relationships — big questions and banter. Regularly visited by guests and friends of the show! This is The Daily Talk Show. This podcast is produced by BIG MEDIA COMPANY. Find out more at https://bigmediacompany.com/ Episode Tags It's a daily Talk Show Episode 306 days a special guests in the studio. Ash Williams. Hey man, what's going on? We love you guys want to give a really long pause so that someone thought that he doesn't fucked up but no yep we are we are here we are at the studio at the deli talk show. Episode 316 I haven't missed one so I'm good. It's good to finally be here night. I just saw that you're in Melbourne. You don't actually you grew up here right? Yeah, Campbell. And so you now live in bondo but I saw that you were floating around I shot you a little India message. You want to come on the show? Yeah, bro. Well, I only kind of pop in it's like three days is my time to max I can handle my mom. No offense to mom. I know she listens to the show but big fan. Yeah, yeah. So I'm I'm riding my three days at the moment I'm at tomorrow. Yeah, good. Yeah, well, thank you for coming in. We actually have a few things that we need to first of all apologize for yesterday's show so you're kind of getting sucked into the vortex vortex me I'm not gonna miss vortex is number one Josh open the show. And you can apologize because I've got to do my one Oh, well I said it's a daily Talk Show Episode 315 and I'm gonna whip your ass which was in stone cold Cold Steve Austin reference but it's actually 316 not 315 other those are Willow Smith reference back and forth they did fall flat bad because there's a live audience so you wouldn't know but the biggest really relying on your co host to laugh Why can't it was so thrown off I first of all didn't get the reference and didn't get that he made a mistake until he told me often but I made something for even flatter than that. You start every show with apology so I'm just me apologies for ya know we just we just found out yesterday as well it's actually they do that at the start of like board meetings and stuff. Today Yeah, Ash can't be here. We're actually sitting up because after I apologize you gotta now apologize for something after this. I think I got an apology Okay, I just remembered I have an apology to make Okay, good. April Fool's yesterday I you know, when you see things in your periphery pursue what was in your peripheral vision you know, when you see things on the sort of outskirts of your mind in the periphery, exactly your career and when you might think when you're creating content as much as we do and that's not pumping advertise but it's like we're just trying to sort of find content constantly. Yeah, I saw something coming up in my Facebook and I screenshot it's yesterday. Yeah. And I thought yesterday that Guzman Gomez was doing a April Fool's where you can go went to order a burrito that is completely filled with guacamole so I thought this was Ed It was called the old block. The problem was that they there was Tommy did show us this this image where it was $1 but then in small riding it said it was how many serve yeah 24 serves at $2 each, which meant you could actually buy this thing for 48 bucks so we went with we traveled 20 minutes to goes Manny Gomez I walked up to the front counter we have cameras we had cameras going Mr. 97 there next to me Josh is on a long lens. I think I saw this on your Instagram Yeah you did you might have and I fact out because it wasn't goes Manny Gomez the ad was for Mad Max. I'd taken these days on a wild goose chase and we went to the wrong fast food chain so did you go to bed next no that's what everyone's asking but I just cut us off so that we've wasted two hours this is this is gonna be surely surely going to man makes it you're that far in as I swimming yet to save a kid in the deep ocean and you swim halfway well I sold it to Tommy is failing funny Mike oh well that was a failed that could be yeah that's more funny than actually going to Mad Max now well, life's content we look at like the power though. So Tommy, why wouldn't you go to Mad Max and pick the best content then you've got a win win. Yeah, look for an extra 45 minutes you could have got to go so my best content of the day safe to say I was pretty deflated so I was like oh, I'm fucking I'm embarrassed This was down if everyone fell from up I propose yesterday. I mean like I'm by the way Mac is did that to Mac decided with the old pickle, though? Yeah. And everyone's like I want the old pickle burger but it was a joke. People are turning up trying to buy it so that was a backfire and maggots so I think the negative side showing the old pickle burger and they've opened up their podcast that I was an apology doing so I should close your podcast. I'll get the apology in a sec. But I want to say I fell for a I should have known I forgot it was April one. There was a thing on radio info saying that Ryan Fitzgerald had replaced Eddie McGuire on Triple H i did say night takes you through a couple of buddies. April Fools man like I knew but an apology I have to make a my podcast the Astros game show is to a foot fan. And apparently all he wants me to do this video where I das my feet in Champaign. He's nine years old. So Josh is Josh and so I get this dm from him on Friday like you know thousands a day I'm saying you were really rude to me on the podcast and I can't believe you were so rude. And I said I'll apologize. So this is the apology through another podcast but I'll tell you that I'll tell you that on my show. Yeah that's nice and it can you just elaborate I did he Friday episode well cool man I and I heard about I heard you talking about a guy but I was a kind of lost because I hadn't heard the last it's it's like what the fuck is a foot? What is a foot fetish? Is that what's happening? Yeah, so this guy i think is the same foot dude the same. A year ago was a stained neon chest guy a guy he wanted me to stand on his chest for now and was going to pay me 1000 bucks to stand on yours to stand on his he couldn't breathe. Right and then it just never happened the money never pay my account. And then this just goes still on me about the foot piece. And now he wants the champagne and what do you reckon the champagne thing is about it's about New Year's because I've I said for New Years all put champagne fucking talking to him on nice day was it was a low point. And like, you know in the comments section on instead of us getting no traction and then like Josh you know, 12345 whatever his name is, Roger. Hey, man, when you had the fate I'm like, yeah, I'm on board today. Very good. And then I said how about this for New Year's Day? I will share my feet in champagne. And so I didn't even start as a request. Because I was lonely and and now he's not lonely, but he was gonna give you cash for this. Right? So he wants to pay for the champagne. Okay, and what's he getting out of it? And he's he's a foot finisher This is what he's like he's yeah yeah right yeah it's it's it's a rabbit hole rabbit holes it's you don't want to get into it man. It's always different people but the origin is the same guy it's this Josh guy. And he only what you said there was to Josh literally I was because I was listening last night in bed and I had kept whenever someone says your name and says yeah well no analysis of whites you immediately yeah it's just like Yeah, it's definitely it's got more cutthroat definitely absolutely absolutely does and I but what's weird about this Josh characters I said my if you want to transfer the money, here's my base been account number deposit, but he always wants to do this wireless money. Well, I've never heard of a best account come bank. Apparently you can like I've done it. But you see the person or something? I really I think so. Us I want to see your Monday. This is getting weird. You say man, because I must send like a security photo. Like if you sign for something from you know the signature No, I'm pretty sure it like I've done it before it just send you a notification on your phone. So if you're lucky card at home, you like boom, ATM card lyst cash idea. Boom put your fucking deal in and then they you know have to have your card they send you a text you put in the number and at the cafe, but this one was I made? I'm going to do it. Just to say if I get the money. And then that's it. We buy the champagne. Yeah, I'll do it. I'll do the video you buy on me. Sam kind of what I wanted to get a champagne sponsor on board. You gainful. I just can't be bothered. You know, putting the second quarter. Yeah, this would be a deal. That would be about 1000 to 5000 bucks if I was going to do it properly. Okay, and I'd have to pay me. Okay. You know, I think my wit has the cow. I don't have a contract for mo it. But I think they're there to hire high end. I think it'd be a $50 price point champion. Mom, they I mean, you can get 50 bucks from mom or mom. Yeah. And mama kind of cool. Like, they seem like they're spending dollars on the races. Yeah, I mean, you're not going to get ice of spades or any big, big players. You know what I'm gonna say this the moment The Birdcage with Marquis at the races is I never want be sitting there. I think the worst people in Australia hang out in there. Did you get invited last year? No, no, I wasn't invited. I wasn't invited by anyone. So if you are listening to this, I will attend your marquee and only your market. If you invite me this year, what do you reckons worth the market at the races or the Australian podcast awards? I think again, it's a tough one because I wasn't nominated for some award even though I forgot about it still acted as well. Yeah, I retracted application because we weren't nominated. And I wished everyone luck and also wasn't nominated. Because, you know, it's it's a bitter pill to swallow when you're, you're not recognized by your peers. You never met Really? And you don't care about but now now I think the market is still worse. Yeah, yeah, just just some shocking individuals. I was in there three years ago. And you know, when you look Granja, you're at, like, an event you think back? It doesn't get much worse than this. Yeah. And it's good. And then you're talking to some guy then you get like, spotted by someone and then Okay, was it which was his mom, mom turned up to Mom, I wasn't invited. I walked in. And then I saw like, you know, a couple of Bachelorette contestants the dude the dudes and then just some like try hard radio people I won't name names was new to me wouldn't you? know, I've gone this is how I got into the What was it? Yeah, man. I think it might have been the moment to No, no, what's the big know? I got into the image. Nick Brock's Oh, yeah, right. So I know brassy, and we were going to go together. And then I reckon he pulled the pin because he didn't want to go with me. But he actually gave me the two tickets to go Why wouldn't he wanted to go? He's probably just dancing. I'm fuckin when I say mates. It's loose it You seem at the gym friends of a friend who have gone out a couple of times. Did you ask for the tickets? How did they How did they not he actually said I can't go but I can give you the ticket. When did he say this? The morning of that two days before that's plenty time that's respectful so I took him I took him out took him out with me and if I can grab like in terms of the first time you would never go to the right I wouldn't go to the races I didn't see just going to the races unless you have a pass to get somewhere where this free shit. Yeah, is that the only Tommy but I used to go as a kid. I went to it like a private school and all the kids parents would have. What do you call it? car park? Right. Yeah, their finger food. So I was like, sorry, what's that? I went to Gleneagles yeah you memory Secondary College. I know you memory. Yeah. So actually Hallam where I went to for VC grant Daniel went to really really super chatty girl and boy Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna fucking texting or he's number after this. So he's playing the hell and high Yeah, how I'm saying your secondary. Okay, so people are loving Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's got definitely had kids parents had like, vs a Victorian rising cloud. Yeah. permits or whatever passes, they paid shitload of money for a car, car park. And so on the day of the Melbourne capital that racing Carnival, all these cars come in usually Mercedes Benz for drives, and they crack open the booth. They pull out all their shit. And they've got you know, finger food. us What do you call it? One of the killing the truck date parties or some shit. You know whether, you know what a man they back up if I can use the gridiron? Yeah, and they do. Yeah, yeah. 40 You know what, Jr? Were like you'd watch like, I'd watch my brother play football. And my Nana would make a sponge. Oh, yeah. It's like you'd be able to open up the floor. It's like if rich pm did that. Yeah, but you don't do it for that. It's the chicks. Yeah, well, you go from like you 10. So you're about 15? Yeah. And also, you know, you don't need IDs. Yeah, he's everywhere. fucking face and cheeks from the hottest schools. And seriously, the nursery is the place to be from about age 15 to 35 I've only just stopped going because it was a tradition that we'd always jumped the fence. Yeah. To go to the nursery because we like the buzz of jumping the fence. We used to do the handing out of likes, I would have a pass I'd go in and then I'd give it to someone who's going at that would then swap it back in back then. Like technology wasn't as good so you could be swapping internet so we'd get everyone in to get fucking shit faced you but that's boring. You want to jump? Okay, just the jumping? What is it? It's a high fence man, you need to get pretty fucked up beforehand. So we were doing this week made at hungry Jacks in my sponsor straight. Get like, you know, Jumbo fainter, one liter vodka between two of us with Scala in the cab, and then we turn up fucking jacked. The last time we did this with like, 31 so not long ago. And you're actually a bit at Uber wasn't around. So we're in the cab. Getting close to being able to Yeah, what would have been ideal so then we get there and the older you get, the more fired up you have to get. And then we just we just like, we're like we're too old for this but we've got to do it and then the adrenaline of actually landing the jump and then running to security's Gonna chase you so you gotta split up. Okay. And how many of usually just two, we've done it with three before and one got caught. Okay, just got kicked out. Just head lock and boom, on the train back into space and then we can jump again. In one time there's a guy didn't want to jump. And someone made he's so jacking picture of the fence and said you jump in there, pal. He still didn't jump but but yeah, I remember one time I jumped and I had brand new shoes. And the the trading was just so new that I slipped my bowling shoes. And I've gone over I've ripped my brand new suit. All through the news. It's like 10 I am the elbows. my jacket is shredded blood everywhere. I didn't have time to stop because I was being chased. Tip login. Honestly, I was never faster than this day. I just felt so fast fight. I'm losing it. I'm losing the security guard at a rate of knots. Landing some car park and then I bumped into all these old school nights that I haven't seen in like 15 years and they're like Ash Ash Williams I'm like covered in blood. I'm like, do I just handicapped talk for a bit? And they're like, Yeah, sure. So and then I got booted five hours later realized my family and I was like dead celebrating just thing you know, gold medal around my neck just like yeah, this is how you do it. In five hours. It was still disheartening. I was really lucky enough for the Melbourne Cup. When does this actually happen? This is knowing cap wake so I think this was Darby day. This is that's the first day Yeah, yeah. We wearing a caliber suit was that when I wasn't in in tow with caliber then I think it was was a terrible suit. whatever it was. I think I bought it for 150 bucks man to man. Now I've never been there. Good establishment although I was thinking too great TV or there was man oh man hosted by Rob guest and the the women if they didn't want the guys would just push them in the pool. Now that's a dating show. Yeah. What he was that direction? 20 years ago. Okay. few guys drowned. Your you're quite good at getting brand deals on your podcast. He kind of Yeah, could be better. Could be better. Maybe the sale? Or the maybe the sizzle isn't as much steak as you're actually cooking. On I just lose inspiration for the deal. Like I will. I will reel them in. Yeah. It's like catching a fish. And they're hooked on the lower. And I'll kind of real I mean for a bit but I just can't be bothered really putting in the grunt work at the end to get them on the boat. It's like the foot man Josh like you. You sort of really mean Yeah, he's willing to give you the cash. And now you've sort of gone cold. But remember that cash is not going it's only going to the champagne. You're not gonna come away with any. I've got a brand new deal actually just happened an hour ago. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Lucy, kind of what I just said to him. It's a pillow company. I can't say too much. And I said, it's going to be Oh, I saw him. Money. It's quite ridiculous, say 1500 dollars. That's more than that. And I go, What do you want, man? Do you want joining us give me cash or what? And he goes, Yeah, I'll give you cash. And then a speech and the next time he goes, I want an invoice. I said, that's fair enough. I sent him an invoice on Monday. I just got a text from him before saying can you meet me in Sydney tomorrow? I want to pay you Am I thinking make Can you just transfer but with you're going to be delicate when you're talking about money. So I said, Sure. How did you want to pay? And he said, by check. So I'm going to pick up a check tomorrow. Well, I think it's a long drive. So if he if he pulls the rug me again, which he's done before, when he hasn't wanted to pile on fucking them all out. No, not laden with that check. Put the check in right. It will clear it all sort of show up straightaway. But then it takes a couple of days if the money is not actually there for them to access. So you just give it a week before you you know, no pay. No say yeah, so until you get that cash. Don't say anything. No, I want I want he knows that. I've said that. I've said I'm not gonna plug you Oh, I say now is pillows. And if you want them I gave you a little bit of sizzle on over in Melbourne a week ago and I pump these pillows I've been getting some branding good for the category helping the category at this point of pillows. Yeah. Again, I named the brand I really and and then I told him that and guess what time is 830 Friday morning and he went on he went on his computer to track you know, the the clicks as Google Analytics, Google Analytics Of course. And he's like, what Tell me give us an idea is not nothing. Nothing at all. It's actually going down. Material over the phone one so what I they they better than done the pillow? Really? Yeah. What makes them better? This is just practice not only doing No, no, it's the way they made because it's all gel and it's good for you Nick the unbelievable I think so the problem with foam sometimes is that they don't have the breathe ability of some other products so if they sort of working on that's not a good time from your from your local bloody burnings. It's like a specific phone. Yeah, we've just signed a lease to a new building you have for expanding the big media company. Daily talk show. And I guess having you on is is perfect to sort of understand how we could go about maybe landing a few the deals few deals specifically but before we get to that the deal not What's your deal with Nova? What's the actual and then What's your deal? Just in general? Yeah, exactly. Um, well, there's a lot of fucking questions here but what's my deal with Nova? Yeah, so they don't they have like, on your actual producer thing it says no, yea is fucking none of your business Josh and what was the other question? I want to know. So Nova have a relationship with I cast? I get Yeah, show. And so I used to work at NOVA was my last proper job 10 years ago. So I still just gotta walk in there and people still think I would like the same people. While right, it's such a tough night, you'll you'll never forget it. Right. All right. All right. I just I lean into her name so confidently, because I know it. Like, I haven't seen a fucking 10 Yes. And she's like, she's still here. Still waiting as it yet in one of the booths. Hey, Ben. And it sounds like people don't question you know, it's walking in and out. So I can record it Nova. When I'm in Melbourne. I can record at NOVA Sydney too, but I prefer northern Melbourne. Ok. z Christian, sort of? What was it? What was the actual deal with you? Do you team or something today help you with ads? I want to know, know the cancer. Be honest with you. Is it? Is it because he did quite a big sizzle. I remember you were talking on your podcast probably three months back four months back you saying? I got something I can announce pretty soon. And that was it. But that was already preordained was done. The contract was signed. Basically they saw that my ad so I now have bookend ads. Yeah. And one in the middle. Yeah. Okay. So I've played a lot of ads, basically. And they only a bit of cash Really? Because I didn't know it because you mentioned you said that the couple of ad revenue strain Okay, you listen to the part two I forget that I say this. I just was sort of hard hitting Yeah, well that's why I'm now doing the the deal with the pillow company. Yeah, because the so called radio today was to write an article is no Van Nuys dying athletes fucking doesn't know they're not paying. They have a I'm trying to do that thing where you say yes. And you're watching on YouTube is no, no, no, there's never been better promoting they're not paying me. You know what? We want you to get paid. So what is the arrangement? They meant to pay you every three months? It's actually a cost. It's not No, no. No, they don't really separate business and they have a relationship. We're just sorting out the, the listens of how many people have listened to the ads are really it's been a while I'm like, Ellen's take, you know, what's the what is the actual are they doing like dynamic ad insertion where it changes like Do you know what the advertisers are going to be now? Okay. Yeah, like you know, they said to me, you know, obviously a little podcast is a sensitive Yeah, and the you know, moral and I want for example, no bedding or cigarettes, so whatever. People still promoting it's on a label. Yeah, I just said to him just fucking everything is nothing on one per month. Right? Just get it on the air. That's probably a point of difference for you then in summer there's probably a bunch of podcasts who are saying night no thing and you're doing a lot of erectile dysfunction playing like I hear a lot of hundreds Okay, voice but my mate Scott McGregor I which ironically, I was meant to be that guy i was i was gonna be the the Scott McGregor character on the hundreds to three years ago up to the point where I was I was the day before and I'm like I said to my manager, I said Am I doing the Honda commercial tomorrow? And she said yeah, I said you better double check that because I'm getting any fucking wrenches and then she said she going back said no, no don't know. So I could have been doing my own hundred in my commercial. Yeah, have you ever done a car deal because there's always always say like the radio people with bows on their car and I got this from that and I've tried that. You might just have to go further out Byron cook I would think he goes to packing packing him to get his car but he gets a whereabouts which one it I'm trying to think what it is it's a remote they a lot of people from radio FM I've been a remote master messages saying like that love the radio telling you just go for it. If you go further out, you might be able to get a better what are they getting? What do they say so ever is given bar and cookie car. Stop it. What's it account? What are you looking for an account? Would you drive from Sydney to Melbourne? You know, I've done deals I've gone to I used to drive to Mercedes Benz in Barrick once a week I was dealing with this guy. And I put together a presentation, you know, deck. Yeah, something was a PowerPoint thing. It was a picture of me basically. And then I just said it was a great idea. It was basically it was called dry drive to work in a Merc and I drive people to work for free in a Merc it's great. Yeah, we thanks to Mercedes Benz Barrick and and then I just filmed this three days ago and they love it they love it up a lot. This is brilliant. I should I fucking know Yeah, where the case what a few GoPros for now. No, but GoPros just like fucking I wrote a blog on it. And then and then. And then I went after the third time. Good another brother to cost a fortune. But I know I don't do it the whole time. I was like, in my brain. Yeah, it's like it's worth it. It's gonna be worth it wasn't worth it. I didn't move them back. And then not the guy called me and said email me because you were expecting a car on the way back Yeah, yeah. I was actually going to pick up the case. Yeah, and then he said I'm restructuring it's always a restructuring. We're here like, so good. So anyway, that was it and then remove Mazda a drone that guys okay, yeah, I did a very similar thing with Ringwood Mazda, he was drive to work in a Mazda. So now he's told I'm sorry. Lyft. Friday. I know give people free lifts around Melbourne. On a Friday. Yeah, for free. Yeah, can you believe it? And then I did it for two months and then they sent me the car back because of Japanese financial year. Apparently Japanese financial year of stupid the email finishes in like September or something. And I was talking about this on a podcast. I was doing men. And then everyone was emailing me back saying there's no such thing as Japanese financial year. So it was desert desert. Mr. Nice seven. Can you look up Japanese Riley financial year is the start of the year. So they Africans run off that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm talking about notice. That we all but also as the water I invited the boss of Ringwood Mazda to one of my stand up shows. And I had this bit where it's like a five to seven minutes story. One of my favorite stories of how I crash a car. And then I chased this woman true story around the streets of Melbourne. Because the police weren't going to back me up because I'm on the phone to the cops. I'm saying like, these chicks couldn't run. She's She's fucking, she's not stopping and the cops like, we'll just keep falling it. So then I just kept following and I tell the story. And it's like, and then I basically fuck up this car. fuck it up. And then because you want to chase Yeah, yeah. And like, you know, I embellish a bit, but it doesn't paint me as a good draw, I'm sure or trustworthy. And I forgot the Dan was in the audience from Mazda. And I saw him after the show walking out and I was fucking out there. I was in the fucking audience. And I still have the keys to the reward Mazda at this stage. That's why I invited him gesture. Three free tickets for me is fucking mistress. And so then I'm like, really trying to save the date at the front of my desk. Dad by that story, my absolute bullshit. Submit again. Yeah, you gotta make it. He's like, no, no good. Literally the next day was two days later, I got the Japanese financial email. Yeah. Any word on the Japanese financial? Right. Yeah, it's from April to March, April to March, April, March, April to March. The whole year? It's 12 months. I'm sorry. That doesn't make sense. Happy Japanese financial year. My gosh. Did we miss you? He was well done was that's either an April Fool's joke. And Darren was getting you on an April Fool's piece of gear back then. It don't make sense though. Because you tough one you would have been doing was it Melbourne International encore show? Which sounds egotistical but the demand i thought was there. And the venue was butterfly club in the city. Oh, yeah. Great place. I did it in August, August eight. But no, it was it was it was good picture that does. But what am I doing at the moment with cars? What are you drawn? In the car? BMW X five. It's good. Yeah. But it's not getting a parking ticket as we spoke because one direction or do they start to lay them I've seen them lied. And thought that only do one but it's it has been there for a while now. On my permit only ran out March 31. So if I was doing lighted, I'm pretty stiff. Well, I reckon they would walk past and just look over and see that at the end and go. It's just that x five. That's true. With the permit, you would think that you're just like, You're not even bothering going up. Because I've got this I've got the same crew going around Banda. They're pretty good. But then they stopped knowing the track and also, fuck it. That's true. So TJ, you're just mentioning to ash, the space? Yeah. And deals. Well, I what I'm taking is what I'm wrapped up instead of your stories and stuff. Take whatever. Yeah, be desperate. Do you know you've got a good have standards? Well, I read a read a inspired quote on instacart this morning and was something that said direction is more important than pace. Okay, so So pick your target. audience. Yeah. Mercedes Benz Barrick. Yeah, and and, and persist. persist, persist, until I say no. And then. Like, I think you've got to have an angle. You gotta have an angle. You guys had Seth Godin on your podcast? Yeah. That's a big fucking scope. Yeah, it was good. already spoke yesterday morning. The whole thing I couldn't read it. It was the shortest book by a mile. But it was still too long. You could go for fucking 20 pages. It's like, yeah, it's about a two hour audio book. Yeah. Nice. easy one. Yeah. Was it like meeting Seth gun? He's everything you think he'll be? Yeah. Like he's what you hear. It's a bizarre thing. Because what you hear if you watch him speak online, or the way you read his work, is how he talks to any questions. So we asked Yes. How would you go about finding sponsorship to help our new space thrive? You just have some fucking as well. Yeah, man. Could you could you I read somewhere today that you know, inspired quite eye on me let me do a funny This is not my area with my site. Here we go. Yeah. No, I'm I'm not aware of exactly what you saying. Tom. But you strike an interesting point. I'm, I'm I'm loving the podcast at the moment. Yeah, that's it for me both. I think it's good. Seth is a lot more articulate. Be honest. He would call me Tom though. He also say Tom, but the but the other thing too, is I don't think he would reference anything that he anything that you've read, he's written probably got that, but he doesn't. I don't get the vibe that Seth Godin is reading other people's shit at Tony's Yeah, all these these two quotes. parroting other people. When you speak to him? It's like, Fuck, he's the dude that came up with that. What market is talking about? He's the guy that said it? Or have thought of it? Yeah. How long ago was it that you were in LA? By the way? I'm offended that you thought that Seth Godin was more articulate the mind person Josh I thought it was very articulate in being Seth Godin then I can fucking thing that. To be honest. It was no it was it was a good first. He said what you said. But what he said La La? Yeah. When was it? What you did you? Were you in LA? Yeah. doesn't follow your body move back deliberately. I came back from a maid's wedding with the vision of always moving back going back to Li until I was only ever coming back for 10 days. And then I just, you know, it is not just I'm gonna have money for return fails like 500 bucks short for a one way ticket back. Then I was like, still get that five in a box and also not spend any money. Yeah. And then I just spent more money. And I was like, I need Yeah. Anyway, I couldn't catch on my style. So what happened was, did you have a room over there was this stuff? Did you have a lie? Or if you live question, do you know this answer? I owe a woman $2,000. So I'm prepared to bump into her. If I go back. I'm actually going back to LA in three months. For a date with this chick you've lined up. That's why Yeah, I've met her on Insta. She said if you're ever in the area, like this is what we said to Seth Godin. He said, yeah, we basically just said, Are we going to be in America? We went planning living in New York. Yes. And he said, yeah. He initially said I'll let's do it remote and and I said, I'll let it be actually better to do it in person. We're going to be in New York. I said, we're going to be around October and let us know the day. And then we booked the flight after he confirmed. So then he got back to you with the date and then I said okay, Tommy. So we arrived two days beforehand. Yeah. fucking sick, man. Yeah. And how did you reach him? Just hanging out? He's very good. It's quite a he's about 70%. Good. Somebody blogs. Blog fucking this morning. I was like my you've lost a pound the side. Shit. made no sense. You know what, though? When you do as many as he does, I know. I get it. You got me some? I get it. No, I said that I was in the back of the Uber. And I think I just like, let out a motion sick when you're reading and now he's on fun. Yeah, baby over here. Same with my wife. They can't be on remain on the phone. That's how you get sick. I thought you was like when you're reading a book. A lot of people get sick when they're reading books in cars. What's the difference between the book and find to question actually? It's Yeah, there's definitely the answer. Just quickly, we have What is it? What is the answer? Do you think? I think it's probably something to do with you're used to the iPhone. The bright light? Maybe there is a movie? I don't know. Yeah. So what you can't read? That's, well, yeah, I can't read for long periods of time, which is good at means that I sort of control my phone usage. So I want that when i when i only when I'm in a car. Yeah. Do you think potentially with the Seth Godin thing? When you feel negatively towards the article? Do you ever have a first self reflection of maybe I'm upset today or I'm not. So now, but he's he's got enough in the tank for me to go. Yeah. God knows what he's talking about. Over wrong. But yeah, yeah, I, I've I didn't realize I was doing it. I've stolen a Seth Godin quote, and I was using it as my own Make some noise. No, no, no, that's not Seth Godin. It's like a ruckus is that noise is your version don't go out and go wide everywhere. I got a job to go out. And until so go out and make a ruckus. Some applause. There is Yeah, we can give you that. Place. Applause. We got a lot of applause. Yeah. Okay, so you don't you know, you'll find that but with this two grand that you owe this lady and ally. So long story, but yeah. Really? Yeah. And then she was also my pseudo manager. Okay. What is dangerous? Was it like, MTG deal sort of things. He kind of just took me under her wing. And she's like, yeah, you're going to be a star. I know. This is like, I want to want to do this. And then I bought this commercial. It's weird in America, because you've got to pay union fees on some jobs. And I remember looking at I booked this job, I was gonna play some warlord fucking dude. And the money was, whatever, three grand, but it was fucking three grand to pay the union face really. So I said it was actually more I was gonna I was going to make a loss. And I just said, Elizabeth, I'm not doing it. And she said, I didn't have three grand. And I said I'm not doing it. She said no, I'm paying for it. I'm paying for it. And then I said, Judge Judy, otherwise it goes that well you know i want to pay it back and then I said I'll pay you back and then within two weeks I came back to Australia but literally and she's like emailing me saying when are you back? You want me to Graham like hang on let me get a fucking chance to pay the to read and then another two weeks later the abusive email started Kevin like fucking really hurtful. Did it make you feel a bit sick in the in the stomach getting mad? Oh, no. was just like yeah, I'm not all friends. And I'm going to give you the two grand I'm not gonna fucking run and I did but I'm coming back. I'm gonna give you the two grand and then it got really full on like the last day mount was like season to season you know what now you're not getting the two grand you overstepped the line of moral Elevation for you? Yeah, you fuckin I would win this quote guys. Really? Can't remember the name I think it was so you'll never see that again. very hurtful. Archive. Were you staying in her place when you're in LA? Now we were we were having sex. We just passed a bit. You can stay at the hotel you can you not like an option. I was staying at a pipeline place I can lie that stage but now you're just kissing I guess I wanted more. I wanted more. Give it a won't give it to you until you give me the money. Yeah, no, I'm but this is the thing. When I go back to LA I'm gonna have to give her the two grand I think so. I've got to have that ready. And that's to grant us so that's about three grand. Yeah. Is there an apology maybe to Elizabeth or Yeah, if we're just down the barrel if you like. Yeah. We can. Elizabeth if you're watching. Start making. Yeah. This is like on the load. He's one of my favorite ever TV moments when griddle Klain interviews the Asian boy from Hemingway and makes him look down the barrel inside that he loves his girlfriend. Give it a YouTube it's great to watch. Elizabeth if you're watching this is not a Taliban video or anything. You may remember me as the guy who owes you two grand us I am that man. And I'm here to tell you that Misha I would have loved more to happen between us I hope you're well the two grand that are you is coming and I'm also coming to tell what daddy going now I don't know have you been to LA send me back I'm worried about the trick is what's the what's the visa stuff? I I this is not really visa stuff but I left America with 71 bucks overdraft from Bank of America so I don't know what that means. compound interest I don't know you know man like I know Trump's doing a lot of fucking stuff at the moment but like I don't know there's gonna be like you know God's waiting for me when I arrived and would you not bring him in though he now I was just fucking like million bucks I don't know. I don't think that would give me anxiety you know what you can actually do because you your Esther would have run out? No, but you're you would be on some sort of working visa that's running so if he can apply for an SSE if it actually goes through well the Esther would probably say on it. Have you worked? Have you have you had a blah blah what we want one of the one I want one video is the one the exceptional? exceptional talent. exceptional talent. Do you remember what you had to? I've had friends Radio Network comedian. Yeah, it was a newspaper clippings. It was my whole life was I was compiling my this is your life. Mike Monroe. And I was the executive producer of my own show. And it was a big biggest get you got in regards to written stories about you probably pay the Hell yeah. Yeah. He wrote a story about you. Yeah, for four letter everything was letterhead references getting venture references. Yeah. letterhead. Yeah, yeah, there was no like, would you say stories? Because I know that some people are like I actually need to show you need to show that you're going to get an audience on media. Yeah, luckily I had some media in the paper I just positive. Yeah, really positive lilium Frank Lillian Frank did plenty articles about me. Tons actually. It was just a little Frank articles and then and then they got the reference reference Marwan an old radio boss who just gave me two warnings in a week before he can't even told about that. I'm serious he had a volatile one it's it's it's something that wouldn't play well today. Okay. Yeah. If you think in some in fact when you can't say it and you said it doesn't say this I'm taking myself home Have you ever said that to you What did actually sound the reference here we are just you know she's exceptional had is paid tonight paid how many hours paid on a few shows he was some stand up shows. And I did he showed it to date on BBC and I did one of these trop fest films as well. So Peter was very good. helped me a lot with stand up to standing up with the the two grand that you are Elizabeth and a few other little mistakes, a couple of warnings you've had. Do you feel like you've grown up a little bit? Do you look back now? And think I wouldn't do that nowadays. Or actually, this bit isn't funny. I'm probably just a bit of an asshole. But you've had a bit of an awesome night. In life. You do your best at that point in time. And my intention is always good. I'm not someone who's gonna go out and fucking murder someone. Yeah. I've always said that. And and Elizabeth is getting their money. Yeah, it's fucking off today. But you know, I'm a good person. Yeah. And it's not for the comments. This wasn't a deposition, but it was more an opportunity. It was mainly an opportunity for me to, for you to say are Yeah, even though I had those two warnings, I've changed or whatever. To be honest. My life is getting more crazy. Why? I just even the stories I've just been telling you. They're like, I haven't thought about them in years. Yeah. So you know, it's good to remember things and you go Oh, that's wrong. I did that. That's pretty crazy. And then you have another thought and you're like, that's another story. Yeah, I was a stripper in another law for you. Yeah. When I was 19, I had a business and I traveled around New Zealand doing stage shows the stripper. It feels like an out of body. Like it feels like another. That's not me. Like I feel like fuck, I don't even like getting my top off. You know? Like, it's not in the office. Fine. I just gotta change my T shirt into the show t shirt. T shirt t shirt away white and Josh wears black and so I can't do it. I was in gray as I got it. I don't even like it can't be fact like I've got no interest in getting my top of stripping. Give it up. I've never gave up I gave up but so I look back in that time my life and go Yeah, it was me. But it was a fucking different version of me. So now I'm a new version. Well, you're dead now. I'm a dad your business when you move into new premises with Josh yet? Husband? You know, Mr. 97. That you fucking I'm another father. Yeah, I'll be writing everything down and Mr. 97 of everything they say to you and Dude, you fucking burn these breaks. I'm not joking. When I last night, I was at the I went to the chemist. I bought an asthma pump. I didn't even have one in the house. I don't even use it that much. But I like it's almost a mind thing. It's like, if I know something bad went down. I can get it. And so when so what sorry for asthma. For me, for me. It's a steroid. I remember when I was a kid. I was worried about man boobs when I was a kid. I had asthma I don't have it anymore. It's a contentious issue. Yeah, I'm be sad. Yeah. So you know. And so you know. You feel anxious if you don't have one. puffiness wonder Fenton would do a brand new. This is it. We are getting on board. Yeah, absolutely. This is your best idea. Yeah Josh what I thought last night is like, there's moments in life where I've been I'm tempted to lie to make my life easier. And one of those is I literally conjured up the story before I went up to the prescriptions counter, we get it from behind the counter, medic. I am an asthmatic, but the conversation I hate having with the pharmaceutical person, the pharmacist is the one around instructions of how to use this fucking thing. I know I've had asthma since I was two in how to use it. Yeah, fuck it. And so and that is it for you. Do you know how to use it don't use it like this. I had this story was like I'm getting it from my son who's got asthma. And I was just like, why did you sign that one? I didn't say it but I had the story. So I was ready to lie to avoid this. This awkward annoying interaction that you have to have this time I feel like they would ask more questions. Yeah, maybe I didn't I didn't I didn't have to lie. I didn't do it. But I was thinking about lying those moments and that's one of them for me where it's like what some way I can get out of having to answer questions because it's like yeah and again me yeah well you just as the the truthful why that's that was definitely the quickest why I didn't have to he actually didn't ask me any questions. He said all he said was would you like the home brand or whatever it is the the no name brand. So my son Yeah, have you ever lied? Honestly, yeah, I lie is white lies I call it I lied to my brother's a medical doctor get scripts off him you know I just remember you're talking about the pop up the villain. Yeah, I just remember that. This is a fun trick to play. If you're at home or even if you're at work you get the baseline yeah and and no would have allowed us to do this as kids and and you stick it up your ass and then you and then you give it a path. What does it do? It is a freezing and you go Holy shit. And then does it actually did that? Yeah, my brother is a doctor. I think people did it with warts and stuff. I think I remember people like still that they can you see that scar? That's from me being a gronk. spraying and asthma to my head. really stupid move. And I had a scar that was like quite bad for a while. It's not actually apparently he's touching his fucking skill. You can see this guy and she's a little bit scary is this guy. You want me over? This guy can't stand people. I gotta leave my sky. The only way. There's not really annoys me. The podcast? Yes, William show? Do you think that it will? Do you want it to be your full time stick to your full time thing? Or do you see it as a side thing to stand up and other budget, it's a bit of both. It's just something that I started because I had to do something. And I was doing a few other podcasts. And then we weren't recording as regularly as I would have liked. And then I thought fuck it, all you do is get some stories. And now just use it as a testing ground for, you know, material that may one day parlay into stand up. And so that's what I'm doing at the moment. I didn't really have a show ready for this year. So I want to have a head start on the show for next year. I'm just just gonna sit down if I can stitch it out. But that's what's great for me with my podcasts. I just kind of, you know, you guys together, which is lovely. But I kind of on my own. Most of the times I steal into a mic and it was burn through 20 minutes, 30 minutes and then do it again. So twice a week. Tony and I are both narcissists. And we struggled to work with others. Yeah. Is that something that like this? The Daily talk show has been great, because we do it as a duo in some regards, but been a learning working together. Working together with people versus working on your own? What's your preference? They're both good fun. I'd say it's easier to do if you're working together. It's like working out of the gym you're going to do if you if you imagine it every morning you're going to work out whereas on your own you can like do it later. You know? So it's just about having the deadlines and that's why may going from I was doing like one podcast every 10 days to them set during two week. It stretch me a lot but once you get used to it, yeah, it's better for you. You feel that muscle. On your Instagram was the thing that you took from Seth Godin, I loved in your in your bio. It says I've given myself a podcast, or you did. Is that Seth Godin? No, no. Cell phones, it seems inspired by him because it's all about just choosing yourself. Don't wait. with Seth Godin, like then didn't know him. By the way I can I can record longer. I'm enjoying okay. My tennis can can white. Yeah. Playing with giants. Good tennis. thinks he's better than what he is. He's gonna win. What's the what they should win? He's representing Australia at the moment in the under 40. Kobe play doubles one day with the guy because I just don't like I man, just like it's fun for me. My doubles. Bigger be the team sport thing. It's just like, what are you good at? Seriously? Well, I think you're trying to translate this for me anything filming stuff filming stuff? I think like what something you're better at walking? Yes, yes, absolutely. You know, if I could, I had a challenge. I had a challenge. A year ago to walk actually a year and a half ago to walk a million steps in a month. What is that? How many cars that's 30 kilometers a day. So we flicks singles he only did three only three days because my calf muscle got so tight that my foot became a bit faster. Look at that walkie you're thinking just off the top of the head the number kilometer How? It was like, you know, just to walk fast. Who can walk the longest in 24 hours? What could you do? Without trading? There's not gonna walk Oh, yeah, but this fucking the walking rice is all the people. Like, it wouldn't be fucking Nigeria disqualified from the gold medal. Well, that's the thing. I remember your name if you didn't change. But not it's not sort of the traditional walking to that it. Yeah. The it's not the you know how they do the whole ankle is rules. It's not that just sort of a standard show show show. I give it a crack. What's your longest walk in the last six months that you've done? Because I moved from Southern Cross Station in Victoria. To Glen ferry road. Hawthorne with a backpack full of microphones was quite heavy. It's nothing. It's nothing now i think i did i think i don't think it's nothing. I think 1040 kilometers maybe? Yeah, I didn't London like when I was over there. I walked everywhere. Now. You know, you're probably coat just like there's something wrong with people who can walk that far. No, I came. I came from a golfing background. I've sort of got a golf as walk. Okay, so yeah, it's a fast paced. swimmers is something wrong with swimmers too? I wanted like, ostracize every sport. Yeah. But is a bit weird. Is tennis always been like a thing that you've done? Since? You know, I was close to him Pro. Really? Yeah. Right. The fitness first thing you said I'll give it to a fuckin by the way misquoted 10 times. I've read the email. Hey, you fucking interviewed. You say he's I don't think anyone will say this. Elizabeth. Elizabeth. Good. I get an email saying I hope you don't mind. I've made up some quotes, some quotes. One, lucky I made up some quotes that you'd say that? He does that he paraphrase. So then I said, No. Don't do that. I will make up my own quotes. And I will send back the edited copy. And it goes great, received all good. And then I it comes out and all of his quotes are in the tea and I am attached. To my quotes, he said, my cards were better. They're not real. You're quite like that. make no sense. So what we're talking what we're talking about is at Fitness first big chain here to actually global chat. It's my gym actually. Membership. Membership. It's my gym. Yes, yeah. And so that's where I go to. Yep, I frequent. And I frequently see your your fucking scan, as I walk in on the section that you are on the front counter. Guys, every time I walk in Instagram or something, I'm getting no traction of it. I did think if you didn't get a free lifetime membership, you're nothing I'm paying you back, you will know I'm paying to be a member of fitness first, I should actually ask them because there's a special section of the gym where I go, which is only two VIP days. And when I say VIP is it's like Todd Sampson of sending their team robots in Sydney, in Sydney. And there was one other guy. And once I got in there once my scanner worked, and I was like my fucking scanner works. And then I went back to the next and it didn't work back. And then I bought anyway what was in there? It sounds like that. TV is basically like a brothel. Yeah. With the with women. Yeah. And would you say? Just dudes loving it. Now Janssen doing I saw Todd Samson. He's a limit. He didn't look like you wanted to talk to be fairly. Pretty standoffish, fully erect. So what did you get out of it? I've had you some cat. No money. that's fucking fine. Really? Are they came to you? Come on, dude. I'm fired up after this. End on the phone. I'm going to call call them. What's the contact? Is that like a comms department is that I'm going to talk to the head of fitness first. You know, it's funny, though. years ago, I don't know if I've ever spoken about this. I used to work we're going to really quickly talk about Nando's and your deals too, though bit like I used to work in fitness first in Perth is over there. Actually, that was my first foray into show business. I was at gesturing wider. And then before I was Jason white, I was working in fitness first, as a membership consultant where you sell the gym memberships. It's a hard task. It's bullshit. But your first month, there's no quotas, so you don't need to sell anything. And everything you sell, you get to Cape, so it's a retainer plus sales. So I my plan was to work there for five to six weeks until they find out that I've been lying to all the customers. So online, come in, come in. And then I'm like, yeah, this is this is the solarium and this is door and I get a little bit this locked at the moment someone's using me like, why is a free solarium? I said, Yeah, he's coming in as familiar with tokens. And then I'm like, Mike, I made up all this other stuff, too. I was like, yeah, so sorry. Do you see this content as well? I know when I was 21 So at that point, it's literally just watching survival. And then and then I get calls going it's like fucking you know there except reception for he's asking about the tokens like tell him I'm not a control within a walked into fitness. You know what, you know, you're going to get fired this you have a feeling that I've been very close. There's just no like, you know, it's like yeah, this was no warnings. This was just a straight firing and everything that there are lots of do that. And I walked into this fucking dude's office, Andrew, he's shit. I hope this all made I'm just quoting exactly from the fucking spewing during the delivery of the magazine. This is like the perfect storm. Like he's like, cinny's if I can find in the showers if I'm in the shower, and so what happened a shower together, and then we're not not in the same jail. And and then he walks in he has and he told you, I said what the tokens and he's like, yeah, the tokens. Yes. Yeah. People aren't happy. I said. Yeah, yeah. And I just was so sick of working there. And you guys yeah, you're fired. I said fucking No worries. secular student worker. Do one more wicked get any? Yeah, it's at that point, you don't go back. guess. I saw a surrender. Bet to easier at the photoshoot. This is another fitness first and he kept looking at me. And I know who you are. Yeah. And I was like, he definitely knew who I was. And I don't think he knew that I knew who he was. And I knew. And very good with names. I feel like that's what he views. Yeah, I've just always been good at names. kind of had a calm going when I was 16. With a made at school. Ali, who could name everyone in the school, and name which has direction, right? It's pretty solid. And to this day, not yet your school has not their home address. And yeah, so to this day, people just obviously like someone who went to school with and they'll be like, you know, dominate men dancer and I'll get Bellamy Could you do five first five names with their houses now, just as a bit of a? I mean, I don't really want to. Is it one of the things that you see that could be impressive. I could just say anything. Yeah, I would actually still be my next question. was one of my it's funny. You see, I'm surprised we bumped into someone yesterday. I haven't seen them in years. And I just saw their face and the name came to me. I'd forgotten who they were from, since I last, you know, but it's like one of those things. Do you have that till you see the person you like, boom? Yeah, just sometimes it won't come to you. But just release it and it will come to you? Yeah. Marie Kondo of Don't panic. Don't I never say Marie Kondo. Really? What's your room? Like? What's your state like a you would clean? It's messy, messy, messy. But like, yesterday, I couldn't remember my ex girlfriends phone number. So what is it again? And again, it was it's always good to know and and I don't take any my phone because like, if you're drawing it's too easy to text. So I've got to have the cognizance to know it. And so she from Mountain gauge for know, I can then go down in town. intan and then I will you awake happiness. I can't remember the number. It was I just relax, buddy. Just relax. It'll come to you. When my Mokoena and then sure enough Nazi get the full number and she goes john, I'm not a sponsor. I don't want to stop plugging them too because they are dogs and they don't get back tomorrow. I do want to sponsor and share that too. I should know that deals not done all the time on the show again no pain I say is the the mantra we have here and you guys is working with Nando's well they one of our clients that we have our production company through big media company that we work closely with him so we have video content for them. The big shift is going to be when we say hi just you know sponsor us to do stuff on the show. Be like hey, I'm enjoying my Perry Perry chips. You should and they pay us five grand. It seems like a good deal for them. Yeah, you know you want a free tip. You should be using this back shit as sponsorship. Last Campese 10 grand you George Knapp? Absolutely. I shouldn't say I didn't know what the last cam was. All right. finished with top five tips for us to get some sponsorship for our new headquarters. Names and houses was not doing the houses will do one James Ralph Clive a solid yeah 97 confirm that place. Imagine if James Ralph is watching. From what ash says Do we go down with us for producing the show? Do we know? I think Okay, today. the Nando's thing I want an introduction to Nando's because I eat the when I'm in Melbourne on a day every night. Like every night so much so that the guy at Nando's Bourke Street I call up and he goes, yes ash. He says Victor, Victor, he goes yes ash. It's Victor. I know chicken supreme rapping you want the feds a salad with extra tenderloins and I'm like, this is pathetic. That you know my name and you actually call them directly and then go pick it up? Yep. Okay. Yeah, but I just that just shows you how much I go there. Well, you said that your body if your rig for the fitness first shoot that was built by Nando's so bananas. Yeah, should have fuckin plugged him. But it wouldn't have put your quote in there anyway. What sort of nice thing do you like? I like to question I like mild or hot. What's the deal? Why do you just go hot spots? Yeah. It makes me feel like I'm just uh, I'm hot every time there's no time that I ever go. I just want to like I just want to take the fucking power out of the chicken. I've bought a bit of a hot day. So yeah, Nando's off. air conditioning. conditioning excellent sometimes I just don't have the energy to deal with the chili you've read a bad Seth garden blog yet? You just made him today man. You forgotten your friends number you're at Nando's you're a bit shady. Yeah, yeah, no, I just I just tested myself to save I still remember a number and I do recall it we can we can but imagine if you could pull we can thoughts from people and you just go in that band like yeah, she's on the line. Hello it's me but you should definitely paint and that invention is quite good. Yeah, be pretty good. So the five tips yes five tips securing some brand deals for our expansion know your brand first right? k no w yep yes no apostrophe your brand doesn't really Mike's no apostrophe no I was just know your brand we showed you know it was in Chi no no no no no brand no yeah yeah. Yeah, so know your brand sharp Josh What did I say? Okay, just clarify guy okay, I'm going to spell that oh my words k know why. Number one Godin just released a blog about how he's a some mob not doing Val's in the fucking WordPress. So Seth Godin, his whole blog was missing bowels interest was you know, trust Matt. And then in the blog, it said, read bellows blog without bounds. And then he finished with no thanks or something that was like, so you liked that as a blog post the worst? I guess. He's a bit of a geek. He likes it. Yeah. So second tip. Who do you want to work with? rhetorical question. Yeah. Ask yourself each day know your brand. name brand. Who do you want to work with? Yeah. came up with an angle. Right Angle. Everything made the angle? Is it? Good? No, not fucking Sure. is the angle in the name? Like Mercedes Benz? Neither the name is just sprinkle to the cake. You need to have a good cake. icing to the cake? Yeah. Was that number for this for you need icing? And the No, that's not for fucking for for. There's only four seats, by the way. last tip to find the right person to contact. Okay. And who is that usually? Do you research? Number Five? It's very, very good. I've asked, I've asked many people who have had on the show, I've got a lot of pushback to go into a psychologist. And so I've been asking people whether they've had experience with therapists, psychologists and what it's been like, have you been one to go to a therapist? No, but I'm not against it. It's very fun question. To close with. Yeah, that's how we like to close. Yeah. Have you ever thought about maybe you're in the same camp? Is it like what are they going to offer? Like what is the what's the value prop versus rate listening to an audio book on how to win friends and influence people? night? I think I think everyone's different. I think if you can get more in touch with with who you are, then then It's good, isn't it? Yeah. And I think you can tap into some material as well. If you if you're in the right headspace, then you're going to get more material. So So yeah. I don't think there's I think it's good to outside of doing it for content, which is what I do for content now. Outside of what? I do a show mine. So when you say material, you meaning content or material on yourself? No, I'm saying content. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So you know, it's like anything. It's like, when you realize your flaws and you sort of flaunt them because it's you embrace if you ever embrace who you are your downfalls if I can. We do? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's good. I mean, everyone's different. I'm very often but like, so like, yeah, and whatever you can do to be more open, I think, is there risking being too open? Have you ever said you what you say about the guy who was so open the two warnings that neither? Either that was good, fun. moments where you like, I wish I wish I didn't say that? Or it seems like you just sort of are you learning I just learned you of course you say things that you sometimes shouldn't say that you learn, you know, we all make mistakes. You know, I'm really Sandy very mature as we are in this podcast, but that Yeah, just fucking ever swing. I mean, at the end of fact, case, doesn't really matter. As long as you're not really hurting anyone. And I go back to murdering people and you know, doing that and you you're not offending too many people. You're gonna offend someone. Yeah. I think that's a comedian. Comedians, that's there's a high chance you will offend people. Yeah, I like it when people get a reaction of something. Yeah, but yeah, the last thing I want to be is middle of the road where I'm not offending anyone. Yeah, yeah. Make sense? Well, Ash Williams, he's not murdering anyone. You know, you're seeing a psychologist at the moment. No, I haven't but my girlfriend and Tommy all these people are saying I should give it a crack relationship counseling. No, just personal side because I use Bry. My girlfriend her psychologist as sort of a proxy I said, What did? What did? Ruthie psychologist say about me doing that shows that God, she thought was fine. Okay, good. Is it kinda guy? Free sociology? Yeah, I was like it i get i say the narcissism in because I'll colbrie after and I said, like, did you did you mention the podcast? You mentioned this year? Can you over some questions? Can you ask this is worth listened to the podcast? embrace it. No, she hasn't listened to the podcast at the end of the day to remember to psychologists or just people yeah, as well. And I think that's a slight? You? Well, yeah. And I feel like there is that people pleasing where I just want them to listen into my podcast. Yeah, I think you've I think people, not all of them. But you think they've got all the answers. They're just doing their best. And they've got their own issues as well. You know, I know, I know, a psychologist, friend of a friend and she goes, she hasn't troubles. Really. It's the fact that but it doesn't. It's like the fat personal trainer. There is something I can offer. Somebody like yelled at a pink t ones because he said, Do you want ABS or not? And I said you don't fucking have ads. That's my response. It's a good response was annoying because it but it was a contract deal. He said of that. Well, he was fine with it. We actually had a contract deal going where I did film. This was 10 years ago, and I'll do filming for him in exchange for PT. But then it just turned into me doing filming because I didn't do the PT, so it didn't really work out. Right. Right. He got a lot of great videos now. It seems like a bit of deal for him. Yeah. Yeah. As the master of the deal. Yeah. You want? Yeah. Well, and just in closing my ex girlfriend whom? This remember. I remember. She wanted me to go to relationship counseling with Uh huh. And, you know, we've only been together for a month. And she's like, I think we should go to a counselor. That's pretty amazing. Period. So we just gotta fuckin pretty cool. And then we did when I've been with my wife relationship. Cat. Yeah. We were dating that we weren't married yet. But it was nice. It absolutely. Is this something to learn from? I think that's the thing. You can't have some formed opinion or answers. And you don't know the answers. They don't know the answers, but it's a conversation that could lead to some answers. Also, when you try to understand when we're emotional, were irrational. And when you're in a relationship, all it is is emotions. Yeah. So if you can defuse yourself from the emotion, and that's why talking to someone like that can be good, because then you finally understand you want for you, girlfriend. You gotta fuck that's why you do that. That's why you're upset because I said that, ah, thought okay. And you don't know what you don't know Josh and I know you think you know, a lot. And so when you when you try, you think you know what they're going to say on the answers. There's a whole bunch of stuff that you may walk away from a guy. Like I didn't know that. And now I realized, I think that'd be a part of it, though, that I would be especially in like the couple's situation where I would not treat it like a debate, not that sort of antagonistic. But I'll definitely be trying to sway like to be liked. I feel like there is an inclination where I'm like, I, I want to frame this in a way. Yeah, by being overly self aware. So I'm like, I know, I'm going to tell you everything bad about me. And then I'm going to set like, there's a high chance if you're, if you're in a relationship, and you both fucked up, you got issues, whatever it is, if you both worked on yourselves, yeah, it sort of sorta will help. It will assist the relationship in some ways. So I don't think you know, you start with one on one counseling. Yeah. But it's a process. It's a process what it's like a, you forget what you you learn the day before. The day thing, I'm sure you and your wife told me you have a great day and you understand. And then the next day or a week later, you're like, if you forget just life gets in the way and stuff. But that's why I think it's a process to you. You've always got to be kind of having your foot on the pedal a bit and making progress and then moving forward together. Don't be idle. Do you feel like you're self aware? Yeah, I do. I do. But being in relationships is tough. Just like a time you have to consider it. Someone else. It's hard going from a long stint of being single to being in relationship. Yeah, going from being a just a boyfriend, girlfriend to a marriage. there's a there's a different feel. There's a different level of commitment that I maybe I put it on myself, but there definitely is that you're working through things in different stages. And even when you work with somebody, there's level of working, there's a level of working out working out how you both work together a work alone while you do that. Yeah. Yeah, I love it. Do you have any dating advice? I very quickly did not Mr. 97. Specifically. So he was on a podcast. We got sort you told him a room? Yeah, a date with the date. So our friend shameless, they've got a big following. And so they did a video doing a call that Mr. 97 had never been on a date up until this year. He went on his first date, based on are doing Yeah, like to say, and so where were we at? With you day training. So you've been on how many days? Two? Okay, two. Yeah. With centric? Two different ago. And if you kissed any of them know, how old are you? 910 that's normal. That's normal. But have you ever kissed a girl before? Dude, I'm shocked by this year. moment family or something like that. Seriously? come from like a sheltered upbringing. The fuck? You definitely don't have older siblings. Now. I got one older sibling. Yeah. Sister brother. Older brother. What's the story? Yeah, two relationships. Two girlfriends. Interesting. You see why older than you? Now when you these are fucking idiot. So maybe two years old? He needs to be at least two years old. With a one fucking ton of pre paving the path for you. Right? Yeah. So there's no rush? Yeah, I'm kind of in your position. I'm 37 and you've never kissed I've kissed a girl I'm still single Elizabeth I kissed Absolutely. So go down this river. But when living together we weren't living together or having she's great, right? Yes. And I do want to say that Yeah. And just very quickly on that 2000 us when you were there Yeah, the stranger was probably strong so yeah, shit. This is 2014 guys so it was because I was saying it's the longer you wait the worse the dollars can Yeah, no, that's really good. Like three grand Okay, back to so you don't feel like you have to rush Yeah, just relax. And then just when you make the right girl you good you know man is there's no rush. How do you know when you found the right girl? You'll listen so you'll feel it but you should go married at first sight that would be great. Who hasn't had sex go ahead and kiss the cheek and say what it had it what's the advice for the guy that I think kiss chicken terms of that you can go to learn it yourself. It's like anything start riding a bike you just gotta learn yourself and find what you like and what you don't like. And again you always Where does he find a bike though? That's the question is the wrong analogies yellow the bikes are kept but just just fucking you gotta go to the tennis but very quickly. The Bachelor what was that deal gone wrong? I wasn't much to it. They were came to make me the Bachelor. And then that was Kane again and flew to Sydney did some screen tests and I thought I was gonna be the bachelor and then just fine went dead. That's it. Who got it at that Tony betcha. TJ Wait let to say Tommy. Daniela gonna Oh, you said this was the Tim. Tim robots. I reckon now everyone's gonna make it was almost thought, everyone. That's why it's like, yeah. Yeah, but my mate Tommy was a Tony Robinson. Yeah, he was almost first season before they brought it back to life. He almost got he even is a bit like a bit of a same look as Tim robots. Absolutely. Who's the guy you saw in the VIP section? Yeah, Tom Davidson is very, very handsome. He's a handsome factor. Is he still single? Not sure. Nice. He is a public knowledge. He's moving on. Now. I don't think so. I don't know. What do you mean? Is he moving or not? He might be he's a public knowledge that he's moving. All right. Okay. So you're all my gay? No, no. I mean, I kind of wish I was. I mean, you worked in it. You had it all in the palm of your hand. Be my I've always said I would be so fucking famous. If I was gay. Crazy. Joe. Chris. You wouldn't have been on I'm a celeb debate on Joe. Chris. You would never Korea. And have you ever thought you were going to be here? On this podcast? I worked in a gay bar as a G string wider. Yeah. Did a lot of little things. Yes. Justin vida. Is there a moment where you going? I might be gay. No, no, all the closest I've ever come to feeling guy was when I was like 10 years old. I was 10. So my my naked. And it was it's pretty domestic. And then I think I get a bit of a checksum in the bedroom. Really? Me and like, you know, there wasn't that much publicity about being gay back then. But I was really chasing and I was fucking pretty keen to catch him. And he's like, and then in my head. I was just weird, though. I'm what really wanted to Jason. I was revved up to like, hormonally. Yeah. Wanted to definitely touch is do something. Yeah. And then it which I started for a bit, and then he's like, taught him and then yeah, that was kind of him for a bit. And I was like, I was thinking I'll probably go Yeah, then. Then fees later. It's kind of forget about the chasing? When I was when I was 14. I it's it's been a bit of a it's been a story on the show. We've sort of created a bit of a story arc around it. But when I was 14, my sex ed teacher who was an older lady said she wanted to give us the full scope of sex education, which included telling us about men having a G spot in their ass. And I actually went home into the shower and put a squeegee in my ass and find that the G spot they were the wrong tool to use. What would you suggest? Oh, boy, I was 14. Yeah, it's cool. Did you get it? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna shower gel. I'll do it. I mean, everyone's done that. I haven't done it with a fucking squeegee. But yeah, he's fucking sticky fingers up occasionally. Check it out. And have you used any item outside your own fingers? Okay. I'm not big on that. Like you know some girls I haven't done it yet. It's not definitely do it goes and just sometimes do it goes on. And the you know, most likely not don't do it. We used to play a game in the bath actually made my brother and it was a very young Let me just preface this story. Probably. I think he was whatever three and didn't know he was like he was sick. So it says I can six and we can get each other's fingers up. The other person's on the first Yeah, yeah, I won that game. Really? No, no, no, I got you got your finger. He's asked and I gave my brother I said night go to and then he's a medical doctor. And then on honest I just couldn't believe this is really guy. Yeah, it's just not you know. You lie. There's a hall of finger you can very good night. My dad. My brother told this story at my wedding. Here we go. Oh, yes. All right. Do you remember waking up with a vicious, stuffy and it was cold stuffy back then an erection? You just wake up as a kid. I mean, still happens now. But back then it was like worse. Just wake up. And I couldn't get it down. And my brother tells the story of seeing dad and may ass in the backyard. And he's got the hose and he's watering. He's hosing down my dad because you're panicked. you're stressed. I was stressed I had a rip a boner and held on three for that. I've got a two year old kid. He's getting hard on it. He's the most bizarre thing on earth. Yeah, right. And so it starts young for boys. It's a jacket right though? I feel like you quite obsessed with bodies' in regards to say that, every game you do you you sort of think I'm a I'm a man child. So I'm still a kid and I have a baby. It's fucking crazy. And so when I'm doing a changes nappy feels like he's dick your dick. And he not like so you You're too and you know that this thing down there? Does something. And so he's tickling. It seems so hard. I came into the shower. I came into the fucking shower. He had my electric toothbrush holding it only dig so he's learning he's learning that vibration makes it feel all right. I don't have to know everybody so I'm just no i trying like no you don't know why. God I see I nobody Okay, nobody buddy maybe there's a jacket thing it definitely has any final rod kids are not back to 97 any other advice for him in regards to dating get out there do that if this date to went really well? Should he just push you that date now she go on a second date both dates have he's gone to the houses of the people and he's cooked for the you've done what this isn't fucking query for a straight guy or restores surprise shift to fucking women's houses that he mentioned that it's easier than going to cafes because cafes what was the reasoning? You have to talk the whole time? Yeah where it's like cooking and go to the cinema it's all normal stuff so it's not that hard. So I see you doing something? Yeah, so you should wait yeah, we've been doing something shops for the grocery thing guys. So you shop together Yeah, it is a resource. It's your resource TV show job to women in supermarkets and go what's in your basket and let you go carrot eggplant and bit of tomatoes but I come back to your place and up up with a basket the guy that doesn't go on in in the you it's okay to do that okay. Anyway resource was there he's pulling the eraser says look Yeah, yeah. Okay to use that strategy then you can go for a walk together that's always good go for a drive together if you drove doesn't drive you doesn't die bus is always go to the airport and back around trade playing watching is actually quite nice. You don't you don't catch it. You're a loser if you're getting the sky by Uber to the sort of the spa or dangerously walk along the highway? Yeah, I've had federal police stop me filming near the airport. Really? Soon Yeah, you don't call yourself Mr. 97 to the girls are you sound like buddy Franklin or something is like it's a tough reference but you had a good year if you notice a triple figure Hey, I don't know what you may as well well is there some research on yeah you know it's it's we're safe talking about it cuz he got triple figures in a few things but he just could like just get like this there's no right or wrong way. Yeah, just get out there. Meet people you developing as a person just mentioned that he said lovely. And have fun. You know, you don't need to be packing them and don't feel the pressure to have sex and all that stuff. So just just get to know them and then yeah, man, that's a lotta Right. Yeah. So daily talk show. Ash Williams. The ash Williams show you're doing it twice a week twice awake. Fired up. Via Yeah, download it free. It's free. So and you've got updates on Mike from maps to do on the minds block me on social media. Any other teams? You can we don't normally do teasers but he's was that all you got? That's all I got. Nick from married first. I wants TO COME ON MY pod. That's about it. No one's gonna care about these people. Scott paper today? Yeah, today we work with Scott. Yeah, did today Paki once yet? But he didn't think that he blocked me. So then he knew didn't know where to go. I didn't know. You didn't think you know when you I know his wife. Right? So I called his wife and said Listen, I want to do a thing with my comedy show. But he's blocked me on Twitter. Can you tell him to unblock me and Please apologize? And she said Oh That's strange. I don't think you would have blocked her she calls me back down Skype can't remember blocking you Yeah, and he's he wants to work he wants to do so that was the end of that. Did you get your mate Ben involved as well? Actually Dame came on on board a different way and told pay because he didn't really come on board and then 24 and cold baby and I believe in New Bedford and then I never met Ben for them we can be your community you know your line into paper if you need Are you good? Yeah yeah. Loves done the pillows. I was done those bothered someone who spoke to the self and expensive pillow because at last a tweet he's got like two pages and he's done the pillows and his book it's I mean, what's your what's your brand of choice? Well decided spinal is spinal is it a.com dot A you use the code it's ash What is it? I w it's gonna be but you hope it's live when this goes live otherwise not actually just don't don't we'll catch up today one more thing sorry we got Jules land who it's like a anomalies I'm really like Yeah, he's gonna catch phrase. What was really the catchphrase? It was just a phrase that he said a lot on getaway and so we got him to do it which we will load into the soundboard here. So we need yours which is the fired up so we need to just record a nice clear, succinct file. We looked at the mic said please don't touch the no one touch anything. I'm just realizing really, really quickly. What do you want? The father the ash Williams. Just want I'm fired up? Yes. Very good. Amazing. Australians enjoy tennis. My talk show. Hi the daily talk show.com if you want to send us an email Elizabeth, please email us and we'll get in contact. Sharon. Beautiful. Okay, great. Instagram Elizabeth 2000. Say you guys catch a
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Iva Hlavač iz generacije osamdesetih - novo je ime na sceni hrvatske proze. Rođena 1986. u Osijeku, živi u Valpovu, dosad je objavila knjigu priča "I obični ljudi imaju snove" (MH, Osijek, 2009.) koja je uglavnom promakla zagrebačkoj kritici. Zastupljena je u antologiji nove proze "Bez vrata, bez kucanja". Pročitajte tri priče iz njene neobjavljene zbirke "Grad od papira". Dobre su. ALBERTOVO IŠČEKIVANJE Iskašljao sam veliki komad žute sluzi koji sam izbacio iz sebe ravno na zelene pločice, kraj WC školjke. Danas bi netko trebao doći počistiti, danas je ponedjeljak. Netko uvijek dođe. Izašao sam na hodnik zapaliti. Pokušao sam skuhati kavu, ali taj aparat tamo uopće nije radio. Samo je kašljucnuo i potpuno se ugasio. Više ništa ovdje nije radilo, neće više ničega ovdje ni biti. Došli su mi to reći prošli tjedan. Poslali su mi jadnika, koji je valjda izvukao najkraću slamku, da mi priopći kako će morati srušiti kino. - Žao mi je Alberte, ali tako mora biti, kino je dalo sve od sebe. - tapšao me po ramenu i gledao kroz mene. Bio je to mlad čovjek koji je tek počeo raditi u gradskom poglavarstvu. Znao sam ga još kad je kao mali dolazio ovdje. Bio je debeo i stalno je žderao one gumene bombone što smo ih tu prodavali. Ljuljao se na stolici i gurao male debele ručice u vrećicu s bombonima. Sada je stajao ispred mene i tapšao me po ramenu i nije me uopće gledao i mislio je da sam star k'o biblija, da sam dementni starac koji ne razumije kako stvari idu. Samo, ja sam razumio kako stvari idu, a on je samo mislio da razumije. Mislio je kako je čitav život ispred njega. Čitav taj svijet čeka na njega da ga on pojebe. Čitav taj svijet kojeg on drži za jaja. A eto, nasuprot njega, ludi starac s cigaretom koja će mu dokrajčiti i ono malo života što mu je ostalo. Tako je to i bilo, samo što nije znao da će i on na kraju tako završiti, da će ga ljudi tapšati po ramenu i zahvaljivati svemogućembogu što nisu kao on. Stajat će s njim pet minuta i popričati o vremenu ili tako nečemu, iz sažaljenja, da budu zadovoljni sami sa sobom, da mogu reći da su ONI učinili nešto dobro za tog jadnika. I tako sam ja šetao hodnikom gore-dolje i čekao osam sati kada je film trebao početi, da prodam karte u zadnjem tjednu opstojnosti kina, u zadnjem ponedjeljku. Šetao i čekao, kao što cijeli život čekam. Stojim i čekam, sjedim i čekam, pušim, pijem, obilazim, gledam, sanjam, ležim, promatram žene, golubove, grad, jedem tvrdi kruh, čitam, plaćam, zaboravim pa se sjetim i opet čekam. Čekam ono nešto što svi čekaju, a to nešto ne dođe. Nikada. Ja znam, ja sam proveo čitav život u iščekivanju. I ostao sam. Kao govno, malo smeđe govno u WC školjci koje pluta dok netko ne pusti vodu. I nema ga više. Došlo je svega četvero ljudi. Dvoje klinaca, neki pijanac kojeg sam propustio bez da mi je platio jer mi je bilo svejedno, i cura koja je stalno dolazila. Film je počeo i uvodna špica je tekla kroz prazan prostor i sve je to bilo tako isto i nije donijelo ništa novo. Otišao sam kupiti štrudlu s višnjama u pekaru malo dalje od kina. Zagrizao sam dva puta i smotao je u papir. U trgovini sam kupio vrećicu kave i duhan. - Oooo, gospodine Alberte, kako smo danas? - pitala me mršava žena debelih usnica iza pulta. Nisam ništa rekao. Nije mi se dalo ništa govoriti. Zašto bih joj išta odgovorio kad vidi da nisam dobro, kad je to sasvim jasno i nema se tu što za reći. Starci kao ja mogu si dopustiti takvo ponašanje, nitko ih neće kriviti ili smatrati bezobraznim. Starci kao ja mogu se izvući na gluhoću ili staračku poludjelost. Uzeo sam duhan i kavu i vratio se natrag. Stavio sam instant kavu u plastičnu čašu i sipao vruću vodu unutra. Promješao sam sve to prstom i smotao duhan, pa sjeo na stolicu ispred staklenog izloga kina. I bio je tu ispred mene, sav taj grad, sa svim tim ljudima koji idu na jednu i na drugu stranu, s jednog na drugi kraj, sve te ulice i trgovine i terase kafića. Nije mi mahao, gledao me s prezirom dok sam otpuhivao dim na njega. Nikada nisam bio negdje dalje, cjeli sam život bio tu i toliko sam ga poznavao da mi je postao potpuno nepoznat. Film je završio i ljudi su izašli na stražnji izlaz. Trebalo je krenuti, ali nisam htio krenuti. Htio sam popiti nešto. Ispreturao sam cijelo kino i naposljetku našao polupraznu bocu viskija u ladici ispod aparata za kavu. Bilo je u redu. Smotao sam još nekoliko cigareta i pio i pušio. Pogasio sam sva svjetla i gledao van, pa hodao između stolica u dvorani, dirao veliko platno, sjedio malo na stolici u prvom, pa u zadnjem redu. Viski je iščeznuo. Još mi se pilo pa sam otišao po još jednu bocu u trgovinu. Žena iza pulta je ovaj put šutila. - Jesi TI dobro? - unio sam joj se u lice. Bio sam pijan. Pokupio sam bocu i izašao van. Sudarao sam se s ljudima. Sudarao sam se s gradom. Napokon sam se dokopao stepenica kina i polako se uspeo s tom bocom pod rukom. Zamijetio sam svjetlo iz toaleta kako teče hodnikom kina. Pomislio sam da sam ga zaboravio ugasiti, ali bio sam gotovo siguran da nisam. Polako, na prstima, pritisnut o zid (još uvijek držeći bocu) šuljao sam se prema svjetlosti. Nisam znao što je, moglo je biti svašta, a ja sam bio pijan i naoružan bocom viskija. I mršav i jadan i bez sreće, tako da je moglo biti bilo što. Polako sam nagnuo glavu, a tamo to ogromno dupe, ispod cvjetaste haljine, miče se lijevo-desno. Ogromna žena, na sve četiri u wc-u riba pod velikom četkom. Sjetio sam se onda da je to žena koja dolazi čistiti ponedjeljkom. Nikada je nisam vidio jer sam uvijek odlazio odmah nakon završetka filma. I evo je, to je ona. Ogromna žena s haljinom koja riba govna i moju žutu sluz s pločica. Još sam malo gledao u tišini, a onda se nakašljao. Trgnula se i bacila četku na mene. Na vrijeme sam se izmaknuo. - Ja sam Albert, tu radim. – rekoh. - Tko ste vi? - Albert, nemojte brinuti, stvarno sam tu zaposlen. Prodajem karte. - Aha, tako. - rekla je i opet mi okrenula dupe. - Dajte, odmorite malo. - rekao sam. - Ne hvala, moram ovo dovršit. - K'o ga jebe, ionako će srušit ovo mjesto za tjedan dana ili tako nešto. Okrenula se i pogledala me. - Evo, imam i viski, ako biste mi se htjeli pridružit. Ne volim pit sam. Neko me vrijeme samo gledala tim ogromnim očima, a onda je pogledala viski, pa se ustala i obrisala ruke o haljinu. Mogao sam je vidjeti cijelu. Njezino ogromno tijelo i sise i nabrekle noge i raščupanu kosu. Prošla je pored mene i sjela na stolicu. Uzeo sam dvije plastične čaše, pa sam i ja sjeo. Natočio sam nam viski i zapalio cigaretu. Ona je svoju kutiju izvadila iz sisa. Fino su se ugnjezdile tamo. - Auuu, što je jako. - Dajte, razblažit ću vam s vodom. - Ne pričaj gluposti, Alberte. I tako smo ta žena i ja sjedili i pričali i pili viski, a WC je bio pun govana i takav će i ostati dok ga ne sravnaju sa zemljom. Rekao sam da mi se stvarno sviđa. Rekla je da ne pričam svašta. Rekla je da sam puno popio. Možda i jesam, ali nisam vidio razliku. Hoću reći, mislim da bi mi se svidjela i da sam bio trijezan. Ustao sam i onda sam joj uvalio jezik u ta njena debela usta i nikada se nisam osjećao bolje. Ustala je i ljutito me gledala. Izgledala je kao da će se rasprsnuti od bijesa. Poljubio sam ju još jednom i ona je onda poljubila i mene. Zadigao sam joj haljinu i vidio te ogromne gaće i preplavila me takva sreća da gotovo da sam zaplakao. Bila je tako topla i meka i mogao sam nestati u njoj. Pomislio sam, dok sam uranjao glavu u njezine gaćice, da je nitko nikada nije vidio kako riba WC kina osim mene i bilo je nečega u tome. U tome je bilo sadržano ono nešto. Ili nije, ako baš hoćete. Svejedno, ja sam se osjećao dobro. NITKO, TAMO VANI, NIJE ZNAO ŠTO SE DOGAĐA Ovaj grad je pun drkadžija ako mene pitate. Najveći od njih je moj šef. Drkadžija prve klase. Stane iza mene, a njegova ruka nađe se ispred mene i onda slaže sve te konzerve graha i konzerve ribica i vrećice tijesta. Kao da ja ne znam kako se što slaže. Kao da imam gubitak pamćenja, pa se ne mogu sjetiti gdje što ide. To si ti samo umišljaš. Šuti. Treba ti taj posao. Nama treba. Što ti misliš, da ćemo moć živjet samo od moje plaće? Da ću ja rintat, a ti sjedit i pit kavice sa svojim prijateljicama kokoškama samo zato što si umislila da te on hoće pojebat. A i što sad, muškarcima se diže i na gluplje stvari. To je mišljenje mog muža. Tako on vidi cijelu tu stvar. Šef je došao popodne, baš kad mi je počela smjena. Iskesio je svoje zube prema meni i buljooke oči prema mojim sisama i tako stajao neko vrijeme dok sam ja radila. Bila je gužva i on se znojio dok je čekao da se sve raščisti. Njegovi pazusi postali su dvije ogromne mrlje. Mogla sam ga osjetit, taj njegov pogled, kao da tisuće ljigavih zmija plaze po meni. Nije mogao više čekat, pa je samo nešto potpisao i otišao. Ali nisam ja jedina prema kojoj se tako ponaša. Sve njegove zaposlenice moraju ga trpit, valjda misli kako je ovo njegov privatni bordel ili tako nešto. Jedino koga ne gnjavi jest Milka, žena u pedesetim, s debelim okvirima naočala koje vise na plavom lančiću i kose obojane u žuto. Rekao mi je jednom da smrdi na ljekove i kašu i da je dosadno zabadalo. Ponekad joj zavidim. Kad se gužva raščistila izašla sam ispred trgovine zapalit. Tamo je već bila Marijana. Sjedila je na stepenicama butika i pušila. Uglavnom je ispred jer gotovo nitko ne dolazi tamo kupovat. - Ćao, Tamara. - Hej. - Kako si? - A evo dobro. Ide. - Ma slušaj ovo. Moj Igor je dobio besplatno putovanje. U Grčku. Zamisli? Probudim se ujutro, sjebana jer moram na posao i on mi javi, evo maloprije. Puf, dobili besplatno putovanje i smještaj.- približila mi se. - Lijepo – rekoh – Stvarno lijepo. - Klince ćemo ostavit kod moje mame i u petak smo već tamo. Avionom. Nikada nisam putovala avionom. Jesi ti kad letila? - Ne, nikad. - Zamisli, avionom. O bože. - podigla je glavu gore. - Da, stvarno, to je lijepo. - Što ponijeti. Hoću se moći kupati. Ma sigurno će bit i bazen tamo. - Da, sasvim sigurno. - Kako se zove to mjesto, božemoj. Neko turističko mjesto, Peniscola, mislim da se tako zove. Pješčana plaža i to sve. Joj, oprosti, ja sam se tu raspričala. Ima šta novo kod tebe? - Ma neka, i ja bih bila sretna da se mogu barem malo maknut. - Pa je, u pravu si. Kako tvoj Kruno? - Dobro. Ima puno posla. Radi. - Mog Igora će promaknut. Oduševljeni su njime, naprosto su oduševljeni. - Lijepo. - I ja kažem. - Čuj, moram se vratiti unutra. Šef bi mogao naići. - Joj da, ona budala. Ajde, ajde, ja ću ostat još malo. Ušla sam unutra i sjela na stolicu iza pulta. Tko još dobiva besplatno putovanje u Grčku. Tko, pobogu, iz ovog grada može dobit besplatno putovanje ili bilo što drugo. Vidjela sam ju kroz prozor. Palila je drugu cigaretu i gledala gore. Kladila bih se da je sve to izmislila. U trgovinu je ušao Albert. On radi u kinu i stalno kupuje duhan. Pitala sam kako je, no nije mi odgovorio. Nije ništa rekao. Misli da se može ponašati kako hoće jer sam mlađa od njega. Kažem vam, ovaj grad je pun drkadžija. Bilo je oko osam i trebalo se još dva sata smiješiti i posluživati, otvarati i zatvarati kasu. Još dva sata, onda sutra opet tako i preksutra i još tjedan dana, mjesec dana, godinama. Tko zna koliko još. Kod kuće su me čekala djeca i muž. Gladni. Morat ću uzeti tijesto i umak ili jaja i mlijeko. Ne znam više. I njemu ću uzet pivo jer će mu ponestat kao i uvijek. Morat ću pomoći djeci sa zadaćom. Samo da nije matematika, matematika mi je slaba strana. Koliko Ivo ima krušaka u košari ako... Isusebože, kakve kruške, kakav Ivo. Matematika i stvarni život ne idu jedno uz drugo. On će bit pripit i odmah će zaspat. Ja ću ležati pored njega i osjetiti miris piva i znoja. Prije nije bilo tako. Prije sam osjećala samo njega, toplog i umiljatog. Počela sam brojati novce iz kase. Nije bilo puno prometa, ali bilo je tu dosta novca. Spremila sam ih natrag. Daj se sredi Tamara, što ti je to u glavi. mislila sam. Gledala sam okolo. Unutra je još bilo nekoliko kupaca, nisam ih niti zamijetila. Žene i djeca ili muškarci, ne znam. Albert je ponovno došao, bazdio je na viski i izderao mi se u facu. Ne znam što je rekao. Nije me, doduše, ni bilo briga. Mutilo mi se. Mehanički sam uzimala novce i vraćala im ostatak i trpala sve to u vrećice. Previše vrećica. Pet do deset. Treba napravit obračun. Šef neće doći, ima puno posla. Brojim novce (Tamara, ni ne pomišljaj na to). Kao da se magla spustila na moje oči i navala adrenalina odjednom me ošinula dok sam trpala novčanice u torbu. Zavrtilo mi se u glavi i smijala sam se. Glasno sam se smijala i nitko, tamo vani, nije znao što se događa. Uzela sam tri šteke cigareta i pet litara vina. Izišla sam van i ušla u auto. Dala sam gas i upalila radio. Boce su zveketale, a novčanice šuškale. Zapalila sam i otvorila prozor, a vjetar je ulazio poput najjače oluje i dirao mi kosu i obraze. A ja sam otpuhivala dim i načela vino. Okus vina, skupog vina. Jebeš Grčku i avion. Bio je mrak, vino se cijedilo niz moj vrat i stigla sam do kraja grada. Vidjela sam tu tablu prekriženu crvenom crtom. Misli su počele nadolaziti kao dosadni roj komaraca. Djeca su čekala. Gladna. Pas je cvilio kraj vrata, sudoper je čekao pun suđa. Muž je čekao. On ne zna što bi bez mene. Ne zna ni jaja napraviti, ne zna matematiku. Ne zna se snać s tim svim zadacima. Stala sam uz rub ceste i zapalila. Jaja su gotova u pet minuta, a matematika i nije toliko strašna. Sve te brojke, sve te kruške, imaju neko svoje mjesto. IMAM OSJEĆAJ DA JE OVO TA VEČER - 'Ajde, nisi se valjda usr'o? - Daj odjebi, čekaj da popušim. - Pola deset je, zatvorit će. - Dobro, dobro evo. - ugasio sam pljugu i krenuo prema toj trgovini. Trebalo je uzeti bocu, po mogućnosti bocu vina ili možda limenke piva, ali moglo je to biti i nešto drugo. Naravno da nismo imali love. „Novce treba zaslužiti“ rekao bi moj tata i podigao novine visoko u zrak. Da, baš. Šta on ima od toga. Radi osam sati i dođe doma nadrkan k'o govno, sjedi i bulji u TV. To je kao život. Ma daj, trebao bi on prvo naučit kako se živi, a on nema pojma. Ušao sam u trgovinu i osjetio kako su mi dlanovi mokri. Gledao sam lijevo desno, kao da prelazim ulicu, ali takvom brzinom da mi se zavrtilo. Prodavačica je stajala iza svog pulta i posluživala nekakvog starca koji je izgledao pijano. Bio je nagnut prema njoj i izderao joj se ravno u lice. Trebalo je iskoristit gužvu. Krenuo sam do police s alkoholom. Zgrabio sam prvo što mi se našlo pod rukom i strpao u ruksak. Gledao sam ravno, prema izlazu. Ako me nije skužila do sada niti neće. Samo naprijed. I našao sam se vani. Slobodan, lagan i sve je bilo super. Crni me čekao iza ćoška i cupkao s jedne na drugu nogu. - Jesi? - pitao je, a ja sam kimnuo kao da sam neki maher za te stvari, a zapravo mi je bilo prvi put. Lagano me lupio po leđima, pa smo krenuli prema parku. Park je bio blizu. Tamo smo inače išli pit. Tamo su svi išli pit, uglavnom vikendom, a sada je bio ponedjeljak i sve je bilo prazno. Neki su samo šetali pse koji su glupavo trčali okolo i lizali svoje guzice i lovili ptice kao da ih mogu uloviti, a ove bi ih uvijek zajebale. Sjeli smo na klupu i izvadio sam bocu iz torbe. Bila je to votka, nisam ni skužio tamo u trgovini što zapravo uzimam. Votka je dobra, a mi nismo izbirljivi. Crni je prvi potegnuo, pa se stresao i pružio je meni. - Dobra je. - rekao je i zapalio. - Aha. - Slušaj, večeras bi mogli nešto napravit. - Šta? - Bilo šta. Dosadno je. Ne da mi se opet napit i otić spavat. - U tome i je stvar, ovdje je mrtvilo, nema se što radit. Osim toga, ponedjeljak je. - Jebeš ponedjeljak. Meni ništa ne znači to što je ponedjeljak. - Dobro, 'ajde reci onda šta ćemo. - Ma ne znam, ono, imam osjećaj da je ovo TA večer. Kužiš? Evo naprimjer, tu je blizu, u onom selu nekakva zabava. Čuo sam od bratića. Bude cuge, kolača i tih sranja i cura i nekakva živa glazba. Prošle godine bilo je tamo nekakvo natjecanje, jahali su krmaču. Sjedneš na neku tamo debelu krmaču i ona trči k'o luda i ti moraš ostati na njoj što duže. Na krmači. - smijao se i votka mu je izletila iz usta i nosa. - Krmača. Čuj, nije mi to nešto. - Ma dobro, nije stvar u krmači. - Dobro, ali nemamo auto. Jebiga. Šutili smo i pili. Votka je izgubila onaj svoj oštri okus i pio sam je kao vodu. Okruživao nas je mrak i tišina. Mogao sam vidjeti svjetla auta kako brzo prolaze, tamo dalje, na cesti. Išli su nekuda. Znali su da negdje moraju biti. Kod kuće na večeri ili u krevetu ili sa svojim ženama na kauču. Možda i nisu znali kuda idu, ali nekuda su išli. Moj tata je sad vjerovatno zavaljen na stolici i čita novine, a mama mu nosi palačinke s orasima. I šute. On ne voli da ga se ometa u čitanju. Više ga zanima što se dogodilo u tamo nekoj Njemačkoj s gospodinom N.N. nego što se događa u njegovoj vlastitoj kući. A mama, ona je hodajući duh ili tako nešto. Samo pravi doručak, ručak, večeru i u pauzama sjedi pred TV-om i pilji u ekran kao da je hipnotizirana. Ima raščupanu kosu i uvijek me pita: Sine jesi dobro, sine jesi jeo, sine, tata se brine hoćeš li naći posao, a ja ju pitam kako je ona, a ona je uvijek kaže da je dobro. Pogledao sam Crnog, naginjao je votku. Nisam baš mogao vidjeti kakav je izraz lica imao, ali nije bilo dobro jer je šutio. On rijetko kad šuti. Baš zbog toga volim pit s njim. Znamo se malo više od godinu dana i kada sam ga upoznao nisam znao kud bi sa sobom. Nije ni on znao. I tako smo počeli ništa ne raditi zajedno. Ja sam šutio, on je pričao. Nisam morao odgovarati na glupa pitanja ili slušat nekakva pametovanja. Bio je dobar za te stvari. - Gle, skoro smo popili. Daj nazovi neku svoju prijateljicu. Umirem ovdje. Daj nazovi Mirjanu. Idemo se malo zabaviti. - Crni me drukao. - Daj šta ti je, neće htjet doć. - Hoćeš reć da ne želi imat posla s nama. Sa mnom? To hoćeš reć? - Ma nije u tom stvar.. - Idem pišat'. Kad se vratim dovršit ćemo ovo, pa idemo nekud. Smislit ću. - Okej. Otišao je tamo iza nekog drveta, ja sam zapalio. Začuo sam nekakvo šuškanje i ispred mene se stvorio neki tip. Nisam ga mogao baš vidjeti, ali čuo sam da mumlja nešto. Uspravio sam se i pogledao bolje. Bio je to Toni, ludi Toni. Tako su ga zvali. Često se motao po parku i pričao sam sa sobom. Taman su se upalile lampe u parku i mogao sam ga jasno vidjeti. Buljio je u mene i cerio se luđački. Bio je zapravo bezopasan, samo je, eto, bio malo skrenuo. Ljudi su pričali da je to zbog toga što ga je njegov stari mlatio i ostala sranja. Mama ga je napustila kad je imao dvije godine. Otišla je s nekim tipom na motoru valjda. Tako su barem pričali. Njegov stari je onda popizdio i počeo ovog mlatit. Onda je umro od previše alkohola ili tako nešto. I sad Toni po cijele dane hoda parkom i ceri se. - Bok. - podigao je ruku u zrak. - Bok. - Može cigaretu? Pružio sam mu cigaretu, a on se i dalje cerio i onda me potapšao po glavi. Crni se ispišao i vraćao prema nama. - Šta hoće ovaj? - pitao me. - Dao sam mu cigaretu. - Ma nemoj, on bi pušio. Koji kurac te tapša po glavi. - Daj pusti. - Koji kurac ga tapšaš? - pogledao ga je. - Pogledaj koja debilčina. Debilčina i pederčina. - Došao je po cigaretu samo. - Po cigaretu ha? Mislim da je on došao po nešto drugo. Mislim da se Toniju sviđaju dečki. Jel tako Toni? - gledao je u njega, a ovaj se cerio i gledao u mene. - Daj Crni, idemo. - Pusti. Čekaj. Toni, jel ti se sviđa moj prijatelj? - stavio mi je ruku na rame i gledao ga. Toni je kimnuo i prtljao po džepovima. Crni mu se približio. - Znači ti si jedna velika pederčina. Jel' tako Toni? Toni je kimao glavom. Crni ga je malo odgurnuo. - Šta radiš? - pitao sam - Ti se ne mješaj. Opet je pitao Tonija jel voli dečke, a ovaj se cerio. Crni ga je spizdio desnom šakom u facu. Ustao sam s klupe i uhvatio ga za ramena. Odgurnuo me. Nikada ga nisam vidio takvog. Opet sam ga uhvatio, a onda je i mene udario po faci i ja sam oteturao natrag. Počela mi je teć krv iz nosa. Morao sam se sabrat. Magla mi se spustila pred oči. Vidio sam samo kako Crni udara Tonija nogom, a onda i Tonijevo lice koje se više nije cerilo. Izgledao je zbunjen. Zbunjen i tužan i kao da ne kuži što se zapravo događa. Poput psa koji ne razumije što je skrivio. - Prestani, ubit ćeš ga! PRESTANI! - vikao sam nakon što sam došao k sebi. Nisam znao što da radim. A onda se on najednom okrenuo i uzeo mi bocu votke i rekao da idemo. Kao da se ništa nije dogodilo. Nisam htio ići s njim, a on me uhvatio za ruku i počeo vući sa sobom. Nisam se opirao. Vukao me kao nekakvu krpenu lutku. Usput sam povraćao, a on me vukao i dalje. Stalno je govorio da je on to zaslužio. „Takvim pederčinama i debilima nije mjesto tu. Takvima je mjesto u zatvoru.“ Tako nešto je govorio. Govorio i vukao me, a ja sam mrmljao zašto je to napravio, da trebamo zvati hitnu, da je Toni samo malo lud, da nije nikome ništa učinio. Došli smo do mosta i spustili se dolje, ispod. On je pio votku, a ja sam samo tamo sjedio i držao glavu između koljena. Bilo mi je mučno. Opet sam povraćao. On je pričao, a ja ga nisam čuo. Zujalo mi je u ušima i nisam imao pojma tko je taj tip tu. Nisam ga zapravo niti poznavao. Samo smo pili zajedno, samo smo ubijali vrijeme. Nije ni on mene znao. Ni ja nisam znao sebe. Znao sam samo da je ova noć promijenila sve. Nitko od nas više neće biti isti. Ni Toni. Bit će još sjebaniji. Trebalo se vratiti tamo, pozvati hitnu, policiju, a auti su na cesti, tamo na cesti, prolazili i znali su da nekuda idu. Znali su da moraju biti negdje. Ja više ništa nisam znao. Philippe Lançon (1963.) novinar je, pisac i književni kritičar. Piše za francuske novine Libération i satirički časopis Charlie Hebdo. Preživio je napad na redakciju časopisa te 2018. objavio knjigu Zakrpan za koju je dobio niz nagrada, među kojima se ističu Nagrada za najbolju knjigu časopisa Lire 2018., Nagrada Femina, Nagrada Roger-Caillois, posebno priznanje žirija Nagrade Renaudot. Knjiga je prevedena na brojne jezike te od čitatelja i kritike hvaljena kao univerzalno remek-djelo, knjiga koja se svojom humanošću opire svakom nasilju i barbarizmu. Sándor Jászberényi (1980.) mađarski je novinar i pisac. Objavio je knjige Vrag je crni pas: priče s Bliskog istoka i šire (New Europe Books, 2014.) i Najljepša noć duše, koja je 2017. dobila mađarsku književnu nagradu Libri. Kao ratni dopisnik za mađarske medije, New York Times, Egypt Independent izvještavao je o Arapskom proljeću, sukobima u Gazi, Darfurskoj krizi itd. Živi između Budimpešte i Kaira. Sheila Heti (1976.) jedna je od najistaknutijih kanadskih autorica svoje generacije. Studirala je dramsko pisanje, povijest umjetnosti i filozofiju. Piše romane, kratke priče, dramske tekstove i knjige za djecu. U brojnim utjecajnim medijima objavljuje književne kritike i intervjue s piscima i umjetnicima. Bestseleri How Should a Person Be? i Women in Clothes priskrbili su joj status književne zvijezde. New York Times uvrstio ju je na popis najutjecajnijih svjetskih književnica koje će odrediti način pisanja i čitanja knjiga u 21. stoljeću, a roman Majčinstvo našao se na njihovoj ljestvici najboljih knjiga 2018. godine. Hvalospjevima su se pridružili i časopisi New Yorker, Times Literary Supplement, Chicago Tribune, Vulture, Financial Times i mnogih drugi koji su je proglasili knjigom godine. Majčinstvo je tako ubrzo nakon objavljivanja postao kultni roman. Sheila Heti živi u Torontu, a njezina su djela prevedena na više od dvadeset jezika. Selma Asotić je pjesnikinja. Završila je magistarski studij iz poezije na sveučilištu Boston University 2019. godine. Dobitnica je stipendije Robert Pinsky Global Fellowship i druge nagrade na književnom natječaju Brett Elizabeth Jenkins Poetry Prize. Nominirana je za nagradu Puschcart za pjesmu ''Nana'', a 2021. uvrštena je među polufinaliste/kinje nagrade 92Y Discovery Poetry Prize. Pjesme i eseje na engleskom i bhsc jeziku objavljivala je u domaćim i međunarodnim književnim časopisima. Ines Kosturin (1990., Zagreb) rodom je iz Petrinje, gdje pohađa osnovnu i srednju školu (smjer opća gimnazija). Nakon toga u istom gradu upisuje Učiteljski fakultet, gdje je i diplomirala 2015. godine te stekla zvanje magistre primarnog obrazovanja. Pisanjem se bavi od mladosti, a 2014. izdaje svoju prvu samostalnu zbirku poezije, ''Papirno more''. Krajem 2020. izdaje drugu samostalnu zbirku poezije, ''Herbarij''. Pjesme objavljuje kako u domaćim, tako i u internacionalnim (regionalno i šire) zbornicima i časopisima. Na međunarodnom natječaju Concorso internazionale di poesia e teatro Castello di Duino 2018. osvaja treću nagradu. Poeziju uglavnom piše na hrvatskom i engleskom jeziku. Luka Ivković (1999., Šibenik) je student agroekologije na Agronomskom fakultetu u Zagrebu. Do sada je objavljivao u časopisu Kvaka, Kritična masa, Strane, ušao u širi izbor za Prozak 2018., uvršten u zbornik Rukopisi 43. Bojana Guberac (1991., Vukovar) odrasla je na Sušaku u Rijeci, a trenutno živi u Zagrebu. U svijet novinarstva ulazi kao kolumnistica za Kvarner News, a radijske korake započinje na Radio Sovi. Radila je kao novinarka na Radio Rijeci, u Novom listu, na Kanalu Ri te Ri portalu. Trenutno radi kao slobodna novinarka te piše za portale Lupiga, CroL te Žene i mediji. Piše pjesme od osnovne škole, ali o poeziji ozbiljnije promišlja od 2014. godine kada je pohađala radionice poezije CeKaPe-a s Julijanom Plenčom i Andreom Žicom Paskučijem pod mentorstvom pjesnikinje Kristine Posilović. 2015. godine imala je prvu samostalnu izložbu poezije o kojoj Posilović piše: ''Primarni zadatak vizualne poezije jest da poeziju učini vidljivom, tj. da probudi kod primatelja svijest o jeziku kao materiji koja se može oblikovati. Stoga Guberac pred primatelje postavlja zahtjevan zadatak, a taj je da pokušaju pjesmu obuhvatiti sa svih strana u prostoru, da ju pokušaju doživjeti kao objekt. Mada pjesnički tekst u ovom slučaju primamo vizualno, materijal te poezije je dalje jezik.'' Njezine pjesme objavljivane su u časopisima, a ove godine njezina je poezija predstavljena na Vrisku – riječkom festivalu autora i sajmu knjiga. Iva Sopka (1987., Vrbas) objavila je više kratkih priča od kojih su najznačajnije objavljene u izboru za književnu nagradu Večernjeg lista “Ranko Marinković” 2011. godine, Zarezovog i Algoritmovog književnog natječaja Prozak 2015. godine, nagrade “Sedmica & Kritična Masa” 2016., 2017. i 2019. godine, natječaja za kratku priču Gradske knjižnice Samobor 2016. godine te natječaja za kratku priču 2016. godine Broda knjižare – broda kulture. Osvojila je drugo mjesto na KSET-ovom natječaju za kratku priču 2015. godine, a kratka priča joj je odabrana među najboljima povodom Mjeseca hrvatske knjige u izboru za književni natječaj KRONOmetaFORA 2019. godine. Kao dopisni član je pohađala radionicu kritičkog čitanja i kreativnog pisanja "Pisaće mašine" pod vodstvom Mime Juračak i Natalije Miletić. Dobitnica je posebnog priznanja 2019. godine žirija nagrade "Sedmica & Kritična masa" za 3. uvrštenje u uži izbor. Ivana Caktaš (1994., Split) diplomirala je hrvatski jezik i književnost 2018. godine s temom „Semantika čudovišnog tijela u spekulativnoj fikciji“. Tijekom studiranja je volontirala u Književnoj udruzi Ludens, gdje je sudjelovala u različitim jezikoslovnim i književnim događajima. Odradila je stručno osposobljavanje u osnovnoj školi i trenutno povremeno radi kao zamjena. U Splitu pohađa Školu za crtanje i slikanje pod vodstvom akademskih slikara Marina Baučića i Ivana Svaguše. U slobodno vrijeme piše, crta, slika i volontira. Marija Skočibušić rođena je 2003. godine u Karlovcu gdje trenutno i pohađa gimnaziju. Sudjeluje na srednjoškolskim literarnim natječajima, a njezina poezija uvrštena je u zbornike Poezitiva i Rukopisi 42. Također je objavljena u časopisima Poezija i Libartes, na internetskom portalu Strane te blogu Pjesnikinja petkom. Sudjelovala je na književnoj tribini Učitavanje u Booksi, a svoju je poeziju čitala na osmom izdanju festivala Stih u regiji.