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Old Jokes Funny Jokes Archaeological find in IsraelHot 3 months ago A team of archaeologists was excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave. Written across the wall of the cave were the following symbols, in this order of appearance: A woman, a donkey, a shovel, a fish, and a Star of David. They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols. They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree was the meaning of the markings. The President of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said: "This looks like a woman. We can judge that this race was family- oriented and held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey, so, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing looks like a more...357 THE LITTLE OLD LADY AND THE BETHot 3 months ago A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because,' It's a lot of money!' After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into thepresident's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied,' $165,000!' and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her,' Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. Where did you get this money?' The old lady replied,' I make bets.' The president then asked,' Bets? What kind of bets?' The old woman said,' Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.' 'Ha!' laughed the president,' That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!' The old lady challenged,' So, would you like more...337 Regular naps prevent old ageHot 3 months ago Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.285 Dr's ExamHot 2 months ago An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old lady, entered the doctor's office. "We have come for an examination," said the young girl. "Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off." "No, not me," said the girl. "it's my old aunt here." "Very well," said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."152 An old sailor goes to a brothel... Hot 2 months ago An old sailor goes to a brothel, where he chooses his girl and begins." How am I doing?" He asks." Three knots," she replies." Three knots? What's that mean?" "You're not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your money back."100 - Add a Useful Link External Links - Old Age Jokes16019old age jokes,eldery humor,retirementahajokes.com/old_age_jokes.html - Over the Hill, Getting Old, Senior Citizen Humor - Old age jokes cartoons …1416P&M Homecare senior citizen humor, jokes and cartoonspmcaregivers.com/Humor.htm - Old Age Jokes - Jokes-Funnies.com15224All types of jokes about old age and getting older. - Jokes-Funnies.comunwind.com/…/oldage.shtml Show More Recent Activity
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Jednog lijepog dana u Kanadsku se nacionalnu banku, noseci torbu prepunu novca, uputila jedna mala postarija gospodja. U banci je inzistirala na tome, kako mora razgovarati s predsjednikom banke da bi otvorila svoj stedni racun, jer, po njenim rijecima, "to je puno novaca!". Nakon niza zavrzlama, banka joj je konacno dozvolila prijem u uredu predsjednika banke (klijent je uvijek u pravu!). Predsjednik banke upita gospodju, koliko novca zapravo zeli poloziti. Ona je odgovorila "165,000 USD" i sasula gotovinu iz svoje torbe na njegov stol. Predsjednika je naravno zanimalo, odakle joj toliko gotovine, te je priupita: "Vrlo sam iznenadjen, sto nosite toliko gotovine sa sobom. Gdje ste zaradili sav taj novac?". Gospodja odgovori: "Na okladama." "Na okladama? Kakve su to oklade??" upita predsjednik. Gospodja odgovori: "Pa, na primjer, kladim se na 25,000 USD, da su Vasa jaja cetverouglasta." Ha, ha, ha" nasmijao se predsjednik, "To je glupa oklada. Nikad ne mozete dobiti takvu okladu!" Gospodja ce na to: "Znaci, Vi biste prihvatili moju okladu?" "Naravno", rece predsjednik, "Kladio bih se s Vama, da moja jaja nisu cetverouglasta!" Mala gospodja tada rece: "Dobro, ali buduci da se radi ovelikom iznosu novca, smijem li sutra u 10:00 prije podne dovesti svog advokata kao svjedoka?" "Naravno!" odgovorio je predsjednik sigurno. Te je noci predsjednik bio vrlo nervozan, proveo je mnogo vremena pred zrcalom provjeravajuci svoja jaja, okrecuci se stalno s lijeva na desno i natrag. Provjeravao ih je sve dok nije bio potpuno siguran, da nema nacina okrstiti njegova jaja cetvrtastima i da ce sasvim sigurno dobiti okladu. Sljedeceg jutra, tocno u 10:00 prije podne, u uredu predsjednika Kanadske nacionalne banke pojavila se mala postarija gospodja sa svojim advokatom i ponovila svoju okladu: "25,000 USD da Predsjednik ima cetvrtasta jaja!". Predsjednik se ponovo slozio s okladom, a postarija gospodja je zatrazila da spusti hlace, kako bi svi mogli vidjeti. Predsjednik je jadikovao. Mala postarija gospodja je pristupila sasvim blizu njegovih jaja i priupitala ga, moze li ih opipati. "No, u redu", rece predsjednik, "25,000 USD je mnogo novaca, pa tako pretpostavljam, da hocete biti apsolutno sigurni." U tom je trenutku primijetio, kako je njen advokat poceo u tisini lupati glavom o zid. Predsjednik stoga priupita postariju gospodju: "Koji se vrag dogadja s Vasim advokatom?" Ona odgovori: "Nista, osim sto sam se s njim kladila za 100.000 USD, da cu danas, tocno u10:00 prijepodne, imati u svojim rukama jaja predsjednika Kanadske nacionalne banke".