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YOUNG PEOPLE ASK Do Manners Really Matter? Download ‘People don’t open the door for me; why should I do it for them?’ ‘Aren’t there more important things to worry about than saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me”?’ ‘I don’t need to show manners to my siblings. We’re family.’ Do any of those statements sound like something you would say? If so, you could be missing out on the benefits of showing good manners! What you should know about manners Good manners can improve the following three areas of your life: Your reputation. How you treat people makes an impression, for good or for bad. If you are mannerly, people will likely view you as mature and responsible —and they’ll treat you accordingly! If you are rude, however, people will conclude that you are interested only in yourself, and you could end up being bypassed for employment and other opportunities. As the Bible says, “the cruel person brings disgrace on himself.” —Proverbs 11:17; footnote. Your social life. The Bible says: “Clothe yourselves with love, for it is a perfect bond of union.” (Colossians 3: 14) That is certainly true when it comes to friendship. People are drawn to those who are mannerly and who treat them well. After all, who would want to be in the company of someone who is rude or obnoxious? The way people treat you. “If you are always polite,” says a young woman named Jennifer, “over time, you may see improvement in the way even the most consistently rude people respond to you.” Of course, if you are rude, you may get the opposite response. The Bible says: “With the measure that you are measuring out, they will measure out to you.” —Matthew 7:2. The bottom line: Social interaction is a part of daily life. How you handle it can affect how people view you and treat you. Put simply, your manners really matter! How to improve Take a ‘manners inventory.’ Ask yourself such questions as: ‘Do I address adults respectfully? How often do I say “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me”? Am I distracted when talking with others —perhaps even reading and responding to text messages? Do I treat my parents and siblings with respect, or do I take liberties just because “they’re family”?’ The Bible says: “In showing honor to one another, take the lead.” —Romans 12:10. Set goals. Write down three areas in which you could improve. For example, 15-year-old Allison says that she needs “to be a good listener rather than a good talker.” David, 19, says he needs to work on not texting while with family or friends. “It’s disrespectful,” he says. “I’m basically telling them that I would rather talk to someone else than talk to them.” Edward, 17, says that he needs to stop interrupting others as they speak. And Jennifer, quoted earlier, has resolved to work on her manners with elderly ones. “I used to say a quick ‘hello’ and then find a reason to move on to my young friends,” she says. “But now I’ve really made an effort to get to know them. It has helped me to improve my manners a lot!” The Bible says: “Look out not only for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.” —Philippians 2:4. Monitor your progress. For a month, track your speech or conduct in the areas in which you want to improve. At the end of the month, ask yourself: ‘How has my being mannerly made me a better person? In what areas do I still need to improve?’ Set new goals accordingly. The Bible says: “Just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them.”
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MLADI PITAJU... Je li pristojnost bitna? “Ne otvaram vrata drugima jer ni meni to nitko ne radi.” “Kao da nema važnijih stvari od toga da kažem ‘molim’, ‘hvala’, ‘oprosti’!” “Samo mi nemojte reći da moram biti pristojan prema bratu i sestri. Pa mi smo obitelj!” Jesi li nekad rekao ili pomislio nešto slično? Pročitaj ovaj članak pa ćeš vidjeti koliko je bitno lijepo se ponašati prema drugima. Zašto je dobro lijepo se ponašati? Pristojnošću sam sebi uljepšavaš život. Na koji način? Stvaraš dobru sliku o sebi. Svojim ponašanjem ostavljaš ili dobar ili loš dojam na druge. Ako imaš lijepe manire, ljudi će te smatrati zrelom i odgovornom osobom, pa će se s tobom tako i ophoditi. S druge strane, ako se ponašaš nekulturno, zaključit će da misliš samo na sebe, pa bi te mogli zaobilaziti u širokom luku. Zbog takvog ponašanja možda ne dobiješ posao koji priželjkuješ, a mogu ti se zatvoriti i još neka vrata u životu. Biblija kaže: “Okrutan čovjek čini sebi štetu” (Mudre izreke 11:17, Đaković). Imaš bogatiji društveni život. U Bibliji piše: “Obucite se u ljubav, jer vas ona savršeno povezuje” (Kološanima 3:14). To je živa istina kad je riječ o prijateljstvu. Ljudima su simpatičnije osobe koje su pristojne i koje se lijepo ponašaju prema njima. Nitko se ne voli družiti s grubim i neodgojenim osobama. Potičeš ljude da budu bolji prema tebi. “Ako se uvijek trudiš biti pristojan, s vremenom će se i oni koji su stvarno grubi prema tebi ponašati ljepše”, rekla je djevojka imenom Jelena. Ali vrijedi i obratno — ako si grub prema drugima, vjerojatno će i oni biti takvi prema tebi. U Bibliji stoji: “Kakvom mjerom mjerite, takvom će vam se mjeriti” (Matej 7:2). Zaključak: Svaki dan dolaziš u kontakt s mnogim ljudima. O tvom ponašanju uvelike ovisi kakvo će mišljenje drugi imati o tebi i kako će se s tobom ophoditi. Dakle, pristojnost je itekako bitna! Kako možeš postati pristojniji? Napravi inventuru. Upitaj se: Jesam li pristojan prema starijima? Koliko često kažem “molim”, “hvala” i “oprosti”? Jesam li nezainteresiran za ono što mi netko govori? Pokazujem li to tako što čitam ili pišem SMS poruke dok razgovaram s njim? Jesam li uljudan prema roditeljima te bratu i sestri ili se izvlačim na onu poznatu: “Pa mi smo obitelj”? Biblija kaže: “Prednjačite u iskazivanju poštovanja jedni drugima!” (Rimljanima 12:10). Postavi si ciljeve. Zapiši na koja bi se tri područja želio popraviti. Naprimjer, 15-godišnja Allison rekla je da u svom životu uvodi novo pravilo: Manje pričaj, više slušaj! David, koji ima 19 godina, uhvatio se u jednoj lošoj navici. Dok je u društvu obitelji ili prijatelja, često piše poruke na mobitelu. “To je baš ružno”, rekao je. “Time kao da im kažem: ‘Niste mi baš zanimljivi, imam ja bolje društvo.’” Sedamnaestogodišnji Edi kazao je da treba prestati upadati drugima u riječ. A Jelena, koju smo ranije citirali, shvatila je da mora biti ljubaznija prema ostarjelima. Rekla je: “Prije sam ih znala samo na brzinu pozdraviti, a onda bih rekla da moram do svojih prijatelja. Sada se stvarno trudim upoznati ih. To mi pomaže da budem uljudnija.” Biblija kaže: “Ne gledajte samo na vlastitu korist nego i na korist drugih” (Filipljanima 2:4). Prati kako ti ide. Nakon što si odlučio u kojim se situacijama želiš ljepše ponašati, mjesec dana prati što govoriš i kako postupaš. Kad prođe mjesec dana, upitaj se: U kojoj mi je mjeri pristojno ponašanje pomoglo da postanem bolja osoba? Na kojim se područjima još trebam popraviti? Ovisno o svom odgovoru, postavi sebi nove ciljeve. Biblija kaže: “Kako želite da ljudi čine vama, tako činite i vi njima” (Luka 6:31).