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The Soundbites that Got Us There: An Iraq War Catechism February 24, 2006 By Eric Mader (In memory of Flann O'Brien) Q: What kind of a loving people are we? A: A peace-loving people. Q: And who are you either with or against? A: Us. Q: And what is it that we did not start? A: This war. Q: And besides a time, this war will be ended in a what of our choosing? A: A place. Q: And what is it of September 11th that we must never forget? A: The lessons. Q: And to defend our country what sort of slip is it we will never ask for? A: A permission slip. Q: And what kind of structure or organization of evil are they clearly a part of? A: An axis. Q: And while the terrorists continue to develop chemical weapons, how is it that we are not going to sit by? A: Idly. Q: And after all, this was a man who did what to his own what? A: Gassed his own people. Q: And besides his own people, who else did he try to kill? A: My Dad. Q: And in addition to shock, what other word describes the force we will employ? A: Awe. Q: And after we have routed them, what kind of arms will they surely greet us with? A: Open ones. Q: And with what else will they welcome us? A: Flowers. Q: And what kind of walk will that be? A: A cake walk. Q: And after our troops have entered Baghdad, what kind of mission will it be? A: Mission accomplished. Q: And what kind of intelligence did Democrats and critics have in relation to that seen by the administration? A: The same intelligence. Q: And behind this insurgency we can identify residual what of Saddam's regime? A: Residual elements. Q: And what kind of enders are these? A: Dead-enders. Q: And besides these elements the insurgency's core is made up of what other elements? A: Foreign ones. Q: And what kind of message is it that we wouldn't want to send our troops? A: The wrong one. Q: So what must we do with the course? A: Stay it. Q: And we began this war in order to make Iraq into what kind of nation? A: A free and democratic one. Q: And we will not quit until we have achieved our what? A: Our goals. Q: And in addition to the hearts of the Iraqi people what else are we eventually going to win? A: The minds. Q: And when a wedding party gets bombed or children get crushed under falling rubble what kind of accident is that? A: A regrettable one. Q: And those deaths are caused by what kind of damage? A: Collateral damage. Q: And what sort of apples were responsible for the abuse of detainees in Abu Ghraib? A: A few bad ones. Q: And what continues to improve on the ground? A: Conditions. Q: And in how long a period was Rome not built? A: A day. Q: And though you can run, what is it you can't do? A: Hide. Email: inthemargins03@hotmail.com This page is at http://www.necessaryprose.com/
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Dosadna pitanja o trudnoći i odgovori koji će vas baš zabaviti Foto: 123rf DOSTA vam je dosadnih i uvijek istih odgovora na pitanja na koja ionako vjerojatno ne možete dobiti konkretan i univerzalno točan odgovor? Onda će vam se ovi sigurno svidjeti i uljepšati vam dan! P: Trebam li imati nakon 35. O: Ne, 35 djece je sasvim dovoljno. P: Trudna sam dva mjeseca. Kada će se beba pokrenuti? O: Uz malo sreće, odmah nakon što završi fakultet. P: Koja je najsigurnija metoda otkrivanja spola djeteta? O: Rođenje, sigurnije ne može. P: Što sam duže trudna, to su ljudi više ljubazni i nasmiješeni. Zašto? O: Vjerojatno se vesele što ste deblji od njih. Tekst se nastavlja ispod oglasa P: Liječnik mi je rekao da ću prilikom poroda snažnije osjećati pritisak nego bolove. Je li to istina? O: Možemo to i tako nazvati, ali je to vrlo slično tornado nazvati laganim strujanjem zraka. P: Kada je najbolje vrijeme za epiduralnu? O: Odmah nakon što saznate da ste trudni! P: Moram li biti uz suprugu na porodu? O: Ne. Znači li vam riječ "alimentacija" nešto? P: Što trebam izbjegavati kako bi se brzo oporavila nakon poroda? O: Trudnoću. P: Supruga je rodila prije mjesec dana. Kada će se oporaviti i kada će se hormoni smiriti? O: Kada djeca krenu na faks. Znate li nešto više o temi ili želite prijaviti grešku u tekstu? Pročitajte još Učitavanje komentara