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Reaching the Heart of Unbelieving Relatives “GO HOME to your relatives, and report to them all the things Jehovah has done for you and the mercy he has shown you,” said Jesus Christ. At the time he was likely in Gadara, southeast of the Sea of Galilee, speaking to a man who wanted to become his follower. Jesus’ words show that he understood a basic human trait We often see that trait today too, though in some cultures it is more evident than in others. Hence, when an individual becomes a worshipper of the true God, Jehovah, he usually wants to share his new faith with his relatives. But how should he go about it? How can he reach the heart of relatives who have a different religion “WE HAVE FOUND THE MESSIAH” In the first century, Andrew was one of the first ones to identify Jesus as the Messiah. And whom did he immediately tell of his discovery? “He [Andrew] first found his own brother Simon and said to him: ‘We have found the Messiah’ (which means, when translated, ‘Christ’).” Andrew led Peter to Jesus, thereby giving Peter the chance to become one of Jesus’ disciples. About six years later when Peter was staying in Joppa, he was invited to travel northward to Caesarea to visit the house of Cornelius, an army officer. Whom did Peter find gathered in the house? “Cornelius, of course, was expecting [Peter and those traveling with him] and had called together his relatives and close friends.” Cornelius thus gave his relatives the chance to hear Peter speak and to make a decision based on what they heard. What can we learn from the way Andrew and Cornelius treated their relatives? Neither Andrew nor Cornelius left matters to chance. Andrew personally introduced Peter to Jesus, and Cornelius made arrangements for his relatives to hear what Peter had to say. But Andrew and Cornelius did not put their relatives under pressure or slyly try to maneuver them into becoming Christ’s followers. Do you see a lesson in that? We do well to act similarly. We may be able to share some thoughts with our relatives and create opportunities for them to come in contact with Bible truths and with fellow believers. Still, we respect their freedom of choice and avoid exerting unpleasant pressure on them. To illustrate how we can help our relatives, consider the example of Jürgen and Petra, a married couple in Germany. Petra studied the Bible with Jehovah’s Witnesses and in time got baptized. Her husband, Jürgen, was an officer in the army. At first, Jürgen was not happy with his wife’s decision. But in time, he realized that the Witnesses preach the truth from the Bible. He too dedicated his life to Jehovah, and today he is an elder in the local congregation. What advice does he now give about reaching the heart of a relative who has a different faith? Jürgen observes: “We should not try to force the issue and overwhelm our relatives with spiritual matters. That may simply reinforce their reluctance. In the long run, it may be better if we tactfully offer tidbits now and again. It is also useful to put our relatives in contact with brothers who are of the same age group and who have similar interests. Doing this can bridge the gap.” The apostle Peter and the relatives of Cornelius reacted quickly to the Bible’s message. Others in the first century who came in contact with the truth needed more time to make a decision. WHAT OF JESUS’ BROTHERS? Several of Jesus’ relatives expressed faith in him during his public ministry. For example, it seems possible that the apostles James and John were cousins of Jesus and that their mother, Salome, was his aunt. She may have been one of the “many other women, who were ministering to them [Jesus and the apostles] from their belongings.” Other members of Jesus’ family, however, did not exercise faith immediately. For instance, on one occasion over a year after Jesus’ baptism, crowds gathered in a house to hear him. “But when his relatives heard about it, they went out to seize him, for they were saying: ‘He has gone out of his mind.’” Some time later, when Jesus’ half brothers inquired about his travel plans, he did not answer them directly. Why? Because “his brothers were, in fact, not exercising faith in him.” What can we learn from the way Jesus treated his relatives? He did not take offense when some claimed that he had lost his mind. Even after his execution and resurrection, Jesus gave additional encouragement to his relatives by appearing to his half brother James. This appearance seems to have helped convince not only James but also Jesus’ other half brothers that He truly was the Messiah. Thus, they were with the apostles and others in an upper room in Jerusalem and evidently received the holy spirit. In time, James and Jude, another of Jesus’ half brothers, went on to enjoy wonderful privileges. SOME NEED MUCH TIME As in the first century, some relatives today need considerable time before they get onto the way to life. Take, for example, Roswitha, who was an active Roman Catholic when her husband got baptized as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in 1978. Sincere in her beliefs, Roswitha at first opposed her husband. But over the years, her opposition eased and she came to see that the Witnesses are teaching the truth. In 2003 she herself got baptized. What contributed to the change? Rather than being offended at her initial opposition, her husband gave Roswitha opportunities to change her opinion. What advice does she give? “Much good can be achieved with patience, patience, and still more patience.” Monika got baptized in 1974, and her two sons became Witnesses about ten years later. Although Hans, her husband, never opposed their faith, it was not until 2006 that he was baptized. With the benefit of hindsight, what advice does the family have? “Stick loyally to Jehovah, and do not compromise on questions of faith.” Of course, it was important to assure Hans constantly of their continued love for him. And they never gave up hope that he would eventually accept their faith. REFRESHED BY THE WATER OF TRUTH Jesus once described the message of truth as being like water that imparts everlasting life. (John 4:13, 14) We want our relatives to be refreshed by drinking the cool, clear water of truth. Surely, we would not want them to choke because too much water was being forced on them too quickly. Whether they feel refreshed or choked may depend on how we explain our faith to them. The Bible says that “the heart of the righteous one meditates before answering” and that “the heart of the wise one gives his mouth insight and adds persuasiveness to his speech.” How can we apply this counsel? A wife may wish to explain her faith to her husband. If she “meditates before answering,” she will carefully choose her words and not speak hastily. She should not give the impression of feeling self-righteous or superior. Her well-thought-out speech can be refreshing and promote peace. When is her husband relaxed and easily approachable? What sort of topics does he enjoy talking or reading about? Is he interested in science, politics, or sports? How can she arouse his curiosity about the Bible while at the same time respect his feelings and opinions? Thinking along those lines will help her to speak and act with insight. Reaching the heart of family members who are not yet Witnesses is not simply a matter of explaining our faith in measured doses. What we say ought to be supported by a record of fine conduct. EXEMPLARY CONDUCT “Be consistent in applying Bible principles in everyday life. That is a very effective way of making the relative sit up and take notice, even though he may not admit as much,” explains Jürgen, mentioned above. Hans, who got baptized almost 30 years after his wife, agrees. “Exemplary Christian conduct is important, so that the relative sees the positive effect of the truth in our life.” Our relatives ought to be able to see that our faith makes us different from others in a positive way, not in a negative or distasteful way. The apostle Peter gave valuable counsel to wives whose husbands do not share their beliefs: “Be in subjection to your husbands, so that if any are not obedient to the word, they may be won without a word through the conduct of their wives, because of having been eyewitnesses of your chaste conduct together with deep respect. Do not let your adornment be external Peter wrote that a husband could be persuaded by the exemplary behavior of his wife. With that Scriptural guideline in mind, a sister named Christa has been trying to touch her husband’s heart by her conduct ever since her baptism in 1972. Although her husband at one time studied with the Witnesses, he has not yet made the truth his own. He has attended some Christian meetings and gets on well with those in the congregation. They, in turn, respect his right to choose. How does Christa try to reach his heart? “I am determined to stick to the way Jehovah wants me to go. At the same time, I try to win my husband ‘without a word’ through my good behavior. When Bible principles are not at stake, I do all I can to comply with his wishes. And, of course, I respect his free will and leave the matter in Jehovah’s hands.” Christa’s course illustrates the value of being flexible. She keeps an upbuilding routine in spiritual matters, including regular meeting attendance and a meaningful share in the Christian ministry. Yet, she shows understanding, realizing that her mate has a rightful claim to her love, time, and attention. Being flexible and understanding is wise for any of us who are dealing with unbelieving relatives. “There is an appointed time for everything,” explains the Bible. This includes time spent with family members, especially mates, who do not share our faith. Time spent together promotes communication. Experience shows that good communication decreases the risk of their feeling lonely, left out, or jealous. NEVER GIVE UP HOPE “It is important to show that we love the family member and that we pray for him,” observes Holger, whose father got baptized 20 years after other members of the family. Christa adds that she ‘will never give up hope that her husband will take a stand for Jehovah after all and accept the truth.’ Our attitude toward our relatives who do not share our faith should always be positive, marked by hope. Our goal is to keep relationships intact, to offer our relatives a chance to recognize the truth, and to touch their heart with the Bible’s message. And in all things we should behave “with a mild temper and deep respect.”
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Biblijskom porukom doprimo do srca članova obitelji i rođaka “POĐI kući svojim rođacima i javi im sve što ti je Jehova učinio i kako ti se smilovao!” rekao je Isus Krist jednom čovjeku koji je želio postati njegov sljedbenik. Tom je prilikom vjerojatno bio u Gadari, koja se nalazila jugoistočno od Galilejskog mora. Njegove riječi pokazuju da je bio svjestan da ljudi imaju urođenu želju razgovarati s članovima obitelji o onome što ih zanima i što smatraju važnim (Mar. 5:19). I danas često možemo zapaziti tu ljudsku sklonost, premda to ovisi i o sredini u kojoj netko živi. Stoga osoba koja počne služiti pravom Bogu, Jehovi, obično želi rođacima govoriti o svojim novim vjerskim uvjerenjima. No na koji bi način to trebala činiti? Kako može doprijeti do srca članova obitelji koji su pripadnici druge religije ili možda uopće ne vjeruju u Boga? U Bibliji možemo pronaći korisne i praktične savjete u vezi s time. “NAŠLI SMO MESIJU!” Andrija je bio jedna od prvih osoba u 1. stoljeću koje su prepoznale da je Isus obećani Mesija. Kome je to odmah ispričao? “Najprije [je] našao brata svojega Šimuna i rekao mu: ‘Našli smo Mesiju!’ (“Mesija” je na grčkom “Krist”.)” Potom je Šimuna, odnosno Petra, odveo k Isusu i tako mu omogućio da postane njegov učenik (Ivan 1:35-42). Otprilike šest godina kasnije, dok je bio u Jopi, Petar je dobio nalog da pođe na sjever u Cezareju i posjeti dom rimskog stotnika Kornelija. Koga je Petar ondje zatekao? “Kornelije ih je očekivao [Petra i njegove suputnike], pa je sazvao svoje rođake i prisne prijatelje.” Tako je svojim rođacima pružio priliku da čuju Petra i donesu odluku na temelju onog što su čuli (Djela 10:22-33). Što možemo naučiti iz onoga što su Andrija i Kornelije učinili za članove svoje obitelji i rođake? Ni Andrija ni Kornelije nisu prepustili stvari slučaju. Andrija je osobno upoznao Petra s Isusom, a Kornelije je okupio svoje rođake kako bi mogli čuti Petra. Ipak, ni jedan ni drugi nisu vršili pritisak na svoje rođake niti su pokušavali lukavo manipulirati njima kako bi postali Kristovi sljedbenici. Koju pouku možeš izvući iz toga? Dobro je da i mi postupamo na sličan način. Članovima obitelji možemo prenijeti neke misli iz Biblije i stvarati prilike u kojima mogu saznati biblijske istine i upoznati našu braću. Pa ipak, mi poštujemo njihovu slobodu izbora i ne želimo ih dovesti u neugodnu situaciju tako da na njih vršimo pritisak. Da bismo vidjeli kako možemo pomoći članovima svoje obitelji, razmotrimo primjer Jürgena i Petre, bračnog para iz Njemačke. Petra je proučavala Bibliju s Jehovinim svjedocima i s vremenom se krstila. Njen muž Jürgen bio je časnik u vojsci i u početku mu nije bilo drago što je njegova žena postala Jehovin svjedok. No nakon nekog vremena shvatio je da Jehovini svjedoci propovijedaju istinu iz Biblije. I on je predao svoj život Jehovi te danas služi kao starješina u jednoj skupštini u Njemačkoj. Što Jürgen savjetuje u vezi s time kako doprijeti do srca članova obitelji i rođaka koji ne dijele naša vjerska uvjerenja? Jürgen kaže: “Ne smijemo članovima obitelji nametati razgovore o Bogu i stalno im pričati o duhovnim stvarima. Zbog toga će nas možda još manje htjeti slušati. Dugoročno gledano, puno je bolje s vremena na vrijeme taktično im davati ‘male zalogaje’ duhovne hrane. Isto tako, dobro je da članove obitelji upoznamo s braćom koja su istih godina i koju zanimaju slične stvari. Tako im možemo pomoći da se približe istini.” Apostol Petar i Kornelijevi rođaci brzo su prihvatili biblijsku poruku. No nekim drugima u 1. stoljeću koji su čuli za istinu trebalo je više vremena da to učine. KAKO SU REAGIRALA ISUSOVA BRAĆA? Tijekom Isusove službe na Zemlji nekoliko njegovih rođaka povjerovalo je u njega. Naprimjer, izgleda da su apostoli Jakov i Ivan bili Isusovi bratići, a njihova majka Saloma njegova tetka. Vjerojatno je i ona bila među mnogim ženama koje su Isusu i apostolima “služile svojom imovinom” (Luka 8:1-3). Međutim, drugi članovi Isusove obitelji nisu odmah povjerovali u njega. Naprimjer, nešto više od godinu dana nakon Isusovog krštenja mnoštvo ljudi okupilo se u jednoj kući kako bi ga slušali. “Kad su njegovi rođaci čuli za to, došli su da ga odvedu, jer su govorili: ‘Sišao je s uma.’” Neko vrijeme nakon toga njegova polubraća htjela su saznati kamo namjerava otputovati, no on im nije izravno odgovorio. Zašto je Isus tako postupio? Zato što “braća njegova nisu vjerovala u njega” (Mar. 3:21; Ivan 7:5). Što možemo naučiti iz toga kako se Isus ophodio sa svojom braćom i rođacima? On se nije uvrijedio kad su neki od njih govorili da je sišao s uma. Nakon što je bio pogubljen i potom uskrsnuo, Isus je čak dodatno ohrabrio članove svoje obitelji tako što se ukazao svom polubratu Jakovu. Taj je događaj, po svemu sudeći, pomogao ne samo Jakovu već i drugoj Isusovoj polubraći da se uvjere u to da je on doista bio Mesija. Stoga su bili s apostolima i drugom braćom u gornjoj sobi u Jeruzalemu kad je na njih bio izliven sveti duh. S vremenom su Jakov i Juda, druga dva Isusova polubrata, dobila mogućnost da na istaknut način služe Jehovi (Djela 1:12-14; 2:1-4; 1. NEKIMA JE POTREBNO VIŠE VREMENA I danas, kao i u 1. stoljeću, nekim članovima obitelji treba više vremena da dođu na put koji vodi u život. Naprimjer, Roswitha je bila revna katolkinja kad se 1978. njen muž krstio i postao Jehovin svjedok. Budući da se iskreno držala svojih vjerskih uvjerenja, isprva se protivila svome mužu. No tijekom godina sve mu se manje protivila i shvatila je da Jehovini svjedoci naučavaju istinu. Godine 2003. i ona se krstila. Što joj je pomoglo da promijeni mišljenje? Njen muž nije se uvrijedio zato što mu se ona u početku protivila, već joj je dao priliku da promijeni svoj stav. Što ona savjetuje? “Treba imati puno strpljenja, jako puno strpljenja. To može donijeti dobre rezultate.” Monika se krstila 1974, a deset godina kasnije i njena dva sina postala su Jehovini svjedoci. Iako se njen muž Hans nikad nije protivio njihovim vjerovanjima, krstio se tek 2006. Što savjetuje ova obitelj s obzirom na svoje iskustvo? “Vjerno služi Jehovi i nemoj pogaziti svoja uvjerenja.” Naravno, bilo je jako važno da svi članovi obitelji neprestano pokazuju Hansu da ga vole. Osim toga, nikad se nisu prestali nadati da će on na koncu prihvatiti istinu. OSVJEŽIMO ČLANOVE OBITELJI VODOM ISTINE Isus je jednom prilikom istinu iz Božje Riječi usporedio s vodom koja donosi vječni život (Ivan 4:13, 14). Mi želimo da se naši rođaci osvježe kad piju tu hladnu, čistu vodu istine. Sigurno ne želimo da se uguše jer ih prisiljavamo da prebrzo popiju ogromnu količinu vode. Hoćemo li ih vodom istine osvježiti ili ugušiti ovisi o tome kako im objašnjavamo svoja vjerovanja. Biblija kaže da “pravednikovo srce promišlja što će odgovoriti” te da “srce mudroga razboritima čini usta njegova i uvjerljivost pridodaje usnama njegovim”. Kako možemo primijeniti taj savjet? Pretpostavimo da žena svome mužu želi govoriti o svojim vjerovanjima. Ako “promišlja što će odgovoriti”, tada će dobro razmisliti što da kaže i neće govoriti brzopleto. Ne bi smjela ostaviti dojam da sebe smatra pametnijom ili boljom od muža. Njene promišljene riječi djelovat će osvježavajuće i doprinijeti mirnoj atmosferi. Kada je njen muž opušten i spreman za razgovor? O kojim temama voli razgovarati ili čitati? Zanima li ga znanost, politika ili sport? Kako ga može zainteresirati za Bibliju i istovremeno pokazati da poštuje njegove osjećaje i stavove? Bude li žena razmišljala o tim pitanjima, to će joj pomoći da njene riječi i postupci budu razboriti. Da bismo doprli do srca članova obitelji koji još nisu Jehovini svjedoci, nije dovoljno da im samo malo-pomalo govorimo o svojim vjerovanjima. Ono što govorimo trebamo potkrijepiti i svojim djelima. UZORNO SE VLADAJMO Jürgen, kojeg smo ranije spomenuli, kaže: “Dosljedno primjenjuj biblijska načela u svakodnevnom životu. To je vrlo učinkovit način da člana obitelji potakneš da pažljivo sasluša ono što mu želiš reći, iako se možda s tim neće složiti.” Hans, koji se krstio gotovo 30 godina nakon svoje žene, slaže se s tim. On je rekao: “Uzorno kršćansko vladanje jako je važno, jer obitelj tako može vidjeti da istina dobro utječe na naš život.” Članovi naše obitelji i rođaci trebaju vidjeti da smo zbog svoje vjere drugačiji od drugih ljudi, ali da je naše ponašanje sada bolje, a ne gore. Apostol Petar dao je vrijedan savjet ženama čiji muževi ne dijele njihova vjerska uvjerenja: “Budite podložne svojim muževima, da biste one koji nisu poslušni riječi Božjoj pridobile bez riječi svojim vladanjem, kad vide vaše čisto vladanje i duboko poštovanje. I neka vaš ukras ne bude izvanjski — pletenje kose i ukrašavanje zlatom ili odijevanje haljina — nego neka to bude tajni čovjek srca odjeven u neraspadljivo ruho mirnog i blagog duha, koji je dragocjen u Božjim očima” (1. Petar je napisao da žena svojim uzornim vladanjem može potaknuti svog muža da prihvati istinu. Imajući u vidu taj biblijski savjet, naša sestra koja se zove Christa pokušava uzornim vladanjem doprijeti do srca svog muža još otkad se krstila 1972. Premda je njen muž neko vrijeme proučavao Bibliju s Jehovinim svjedocima, još uvijek nije prihvatio istinu. Povremeno dolazi na sastanke i dobro se slaže s braćom u skupštini. Braća pak poštuju njegovu slobodu izbora. Kako Christa nastoji doprijeti do njegovog srca? “Čvrsto sam odlučila biti poslušna Jehovi i ostati na putu istine. Istodobno nastojim pridobiti svog muža ‘bez riječi’ svojim dobrim vladanjem. Činim sve što mogu kako bih ispunila želje svog muža sve dok time ne kršim biblijska načela. Naravno, poštujem i njegovu slobodnu volju i prepuštam stvari Jehovi u ruke.” Christin primjer pokazuje koliko je važno biti prilagodljiv. Ona savjesno izvršava svoje kršćanske aktivnosti, u što spada redovito posjećivanje sastanaka i revno sudjelovanje u službi propovijedanja. No ona je i razumna jer shvaća da je dužna pokazivati ljubav svome mužu te mu posvetiti svoje vrijeme i pažnju. Svatko od nas tko ima rođake koji ne dijele naša vjerska uvjerenja trebao bi biti prilagodljiv i razuman. U Bibliji stoji: “Sve ima svoje vrijeme.” To znači da moramo provoditi vrijeme s članovima obitelji koji ne služe Jehovi, a posebno s bračnim partnerom. Tako ćemo imati dobru komunikaciju s njima. Iskustvo pokazuje da postoji manja vjerojatnost da će se članovi obitelji osjećati usamljeno, zapostavljeno ili ljubomorno ako iskreno i otvoreno razgovaramo s njima (Prop. 3:1). NIKAD NE GUBI NADU “Važno je pokazati članu obitelji da ga volimo i moliti se za njega”, kaže Holger, čiji se otac krstio 20 godina nakon ostalih članova obitelji. Christa kaže kako “nikad ne gubi nadu da će njen muž na koncu prihvatiti istinu i postati Jehovin sluga”. Uvijek bismo trebali imati pozitivan stav prema članovima svoje obitelji koji ne dijele naša uvjerenja i gajiti nadu da će oni jednog dana upoznati istinu. Naš je cilj ostati u dobrim odnosima s članovima svoje obitelji, pružiti im priliku da upoznaju istinu i doprijeti do njihovog srca kako bi prihvatili biblijska učenja. Osim toga, uvijek trebamo postupati “blago i s dubokim poštovanjem” (1.