<p>It is not uncommon to see couples where the two spouses are twenty to thirty years apart in age, that is, one third to one half of a lifetime apart. In such cases, it is much more common for the man, rather than the woman, to be the older. Such people include the current, and some past <a href="https://history.stackexchange.com/questions/59164/why-wasnt-grover-cleveland-chided-more-gratingly-for-marrying-his-21-y-o-wife/59168#59168">Presidents of the United States</a> (and their first ladies).</p>

<p>Is there a psychological/neurological basis for this phenomenon? For instance, there appears to be a trait called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy" rel="nofollow noreferrer">"hypergamy"</a>, whereby women prefer richer, more "established" men, to a degree that the man is much older. The converse is that men prefer women who are younger, more attractive, and by implication, more fecund. All other things being equal, of course. Are men and women, in fact, believed by experts to be "hard-wired" in the foregoing, or comparable, ways?</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-05-15T00:03:17.293Z
No hard-wiring, but a result by the culture and the biology. The cultures again a result of gender roles etc. being a result of biological factors. There's nothing more to it. I think you will find the depths of the idea about the "tabula rasa" interesting.
agiopnl
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-05-15T06:45:02.393Z
I may be wrong, but hypergamy seems to me to be an old tradition in the west no longer traditionally followed, but is still prevalent in the middle-east and some parts of Asia and is a cultural thing.
Chris Rogers
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2020-05-15T10:37:22.370Z
What share of couples do you have in mind by "It is not uncommon"? Most couples around me are: same educational level, approx. age, same vital phase (work, study, divorced), same socio-economical level, common language. The only strong bias is height. almost 100% of women prefer men as tall or taller.
Quora Feans
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2020-05-15T13:09:14.523Z
@ChrisRogers: Hypergamy still exists today in the U.S. But you're right, insofar it is no longer an "age" thing, but women's "marrying up" seems to take other forms such as chasing richer or better connected (but similar aged) men.
Tom Au
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-05-15T13:13:09.757Z
@QuoraFeans: Look no further than the current 70-something POTUS and his 50 year old wife. Although you are right that this seems today to be a "celebrity" (e.g Hollywood) phenomenon, and no longer a "mainstream" thing. That might be an argument in favor of "nurture" and against "nature."
Tom Au
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-05-15T19:40:52.043Z
@TomAu: yes, there are cases. I wouldn't say this is a common case. And notice that on average, Trump was 14 years older as his wives.
Quora Feans
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-10-02T10:07:07.347Z
more scientific approach for discussed above hypergamy factor could be found at [Bergstrom, T., Schoeni, R.F. Income prospects and age-at-marriage. J Popul Econ 9, 115–130 (1996).](https://doi.org/10.1007/PL00003834)
aytvill
<gender>
What's the rationale behind marriages where the man is much older?
Tom Au
# What's the rationale behind marriages where the man is much older?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2020-05-14)

It is not uncommon to see couples where the two spouses are twenty to thirty years apart in age, that is, one third to one half of a lifetime apart. In such cases, it is much more common for the man, rather than the woman, to be the older. Such people include the current, and some past [Presidents of the United States](https://history.stackexchange.com/questions/59164/why-wasnt-grover-cleveland-chided-more-gratingly-for-marrying-his-21-y-o-wife/59168#59168) (and their first ladies).

Is there a psychological/neurological basis for this phenomenon? For instance, there appears to be a trait called ["hypergamy"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypergamy), whereby women prefer richer, more "established" men, to a degree that the man is much older. The converse is that men prefer women who are younger, more attractive, and by implication, more fecund. All other things being equal, of course. Are men and women, in fact, believed by experts to be "hard-wired" in the foregoing, or comparable, ways?

**Tags:** gender

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: No hard-wiring, but a result by the culture and the biology. The cultures again a result of gender roles etc. being a result of biological factors. There's nothing more to it. I think you will find the depths of the idea about the "tabula rasa" interesting.  
> **username_2**: I may be wrong, but hypergamy seems to me to be an old tradition in the west no longer traditionally followed, but is still prevalent in the middle-east and some parts of Asia and is a cultural thing.  
> **username_3**: What share of couples do you have in mind by "It is not uncommon"? Most couples around me are: same educational level, approx. age, same vital phase (work, study, divorced), same socio-economical level, common language. The only strong bias is height. almost 100% of women prefer men as tall or taller.  
> **username_0**: @ChrisRogers: Hypergamy still exists today in the U.S. But you're right, insofar it is no longer an "age" thing, but women's "marrying up" seems to take other forms such as chasing richer or better connected (but similar aged) men.  
> **username_0**: @QuoraFeans: Look no further than the current 70-something POTUS and his 50 year old wife. Although you are right that this seems today to be a "celebrity" (e.g Hollywood) phenomenon, and no longer a "mainstream" thing. That might be an argument in favor of "nurture" and against "nature."  
> **username_3**: @TomAu: yes, there are cases. I wouldn't say this is a common case. And notice that on average, Trump was 14 years older as his wives.  
> **username_4**: more scientific approach for discussed above hypergamy factor could be found at [Bergstrom, T., Schoeni, R.F. Income prospects and age-at-marriage. J Popul Econ 9, 115–130 (1996).](https://doi.org/10.1007/PL00003834)  

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## 0 answers

