<p>Rape and sexual assault definitely does not only affect the assaulted, but also the friends and family as they can feel helpless, not knowing what is best to do to help and support the assaulted.</p>
<p>As I mentioned in the comments, support groups such as</p>
<ul>
<li>RAINN (US)<br>
Call 800 656 4673 or 800 656 HOPE<br>
<a href="https://www.rainn.org" rel="noreferrer">https://www.rainn.org</a> and</li>
<li>Survivors Trust (UK)<br>
Call 0808 801 0331<br>
<a href="https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org" rel="noreferrer">https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org</a><br>
See also: <a href="https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/national-helplines" rel="noreferrer">https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/national-helplines</a> for other national helplines</li>
</ul>
<p>provide support to survivor's partners, friends and family too.</p>
<p>The following books are recommended by <a href="https://www.ercc.scot/reading/" rel="noreferrer">Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre</a></p>
<ul>
<li><p><strong>Allies in healing: when the person you love was sexually abused as a child, by Laura Davis<br>ISBN: 978-0060552992</strong><br><br>Laura Davis is also the author of the well known book for survivors called <em>The Courage to Heal Workbook</em> which is a companion to the main book <em>The Courage to Heal</em> she co-authored with Ellen Bass<br><br>
<em>Allies in Healing</em> is available through Amazon as a Kindle book for a much cheaper price than a printed copy if that suits you.</p>
</li>
<li><p><strong>Ghosts in the bedroom: A guide for partners of incest survivors, by Ken Graber<br>ISBN: 978-1558741164</strong><br><br>
Ken Graber draws from personal experience to show how partners can accept responsibility for their own issues, support the recovery of the incest or sexual abuse survivor, and work toward solving relationship problems together.</p>
</li>
</ul>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-06-29T08:58:03.993Z
2020-06-29T08:58:03.993Z
Chris Rogers
<p>This may be not the appropriate community, but I am looking for resources - books or articles - about how to improve the affective support towards an adult who suffered childhood sexual abuse.</p>
<p>I am starting a relationship with a person in her 30s who suffered constant sexual and physchological abuse as a child. She did not realize it until a few years ago, and she is going to therapy now. I am not trying to replace the professional help in any way, I just want to understand how to better support her when she talks about the things she had experienced, or when she feels guilty or unloved. I am doing my best to make her feel safe and loved, but sometimes I just don't know what to say.</p>
<p>I did some research, but found only books or articles for professional treatment, or guides on how to detect it. I understand the vastly difference between individual cases, but this is something so unrelated to my experience that any guidance will be very helpful.</p>
<p>Note: I am an academic researcher - on a completely different field -, so I might be able to cope with some technical terms or dense books.</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-06-27T05:27:18.397Z
The question would be better if you include the resources have you searched
Ooker
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-06-27T05:40:13.573Z
How would including the books and articles found improve the question @Ooker when the items found were different to what is searched for? 
Chris Rogers
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-06-27T06:16:21.977Z
@ChrisRogers not sure why you ask that. You know, for better context?
Ooker
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-06-27T08:49:09.777Z
@Ooker - You know my stance on prior research and when it is said *"I did some research, but found only books or articles for professional treatment, or guides on how to detect it."* how would adding links to these add context when it is not what the OP is asking for? There is prior research done and no satisfactory results came up. The fact that this is highlighted satisfies me. What more could you need?
Chris Rogers
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-06-27T10:55:39.373Z
@ChrisRogers I understand those are not what OP's asking. However, it may suggest some keywords that can guide us to look deeper. I understand that for those who are experts in this topic (like you), then such links are not necessary
Ooker
<ptsd><trauma><sexual-assault>
Resources for adults supporting a partner with childhood sexual trauma
pepejepep
# Resources for adults supporting a partner with childhood sexual trauma

(Asked by: username_0 on 2020-06-26)

This may be not the appropriate community, but I am looking for resources - books or articles - about how to improve the affective support towards an adult who suffered childhood sexual abuse.

I am starting a relationship with a person in her 30s who suffered constant sexual and physchological abuse as a child. She did not realize it until a few years ago, and she is going to therapy now. I am not trying to replace the professional help in any way, I just want to understand how to better support her when she talks about the things she had experienced, or when she feels guilty or unloved. I am doing my best to make her feel safe and loved, but sometimes I just don't know what to say.

I did some research, but found only books or articles for professional treatment, or guides on how to detect it. I understand the vastly difference between individual cases, but this is something so unrelated to my experience that any guidance will be very helpful.

Note: I am an academic researcher - on a completely different field -, so I might be able to cope with some technical terms or dense books.

**Tags:** ptsd, trauma, sexual-assault

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: The question would be better if you include the resources have you searched  
> **username_2**: How would including the books and articles found improve the question @username_1 when the items found were different to what is searched for?   
> **username_1**: @ChrisRogers not sure why you ask that. You know, for better context?  
> **username_2**: @username_1 - You know my stance on prior research and when it is said *"I did some research, but found only books or articles for professional treatment, or guides on how to detect it."* how would adding links to these add context when it is not what the OP is asking for? There is prior research done and no satisfactory results came up. The fact that this is highlighted satisfies me. What more could you need?  
> **username_1**: @ChrisRogers I understand those are not what OP's asking. However, it may suggest some keywords that can guide us to look deeper. I understand that for those who are experts in this topic (like you), then such links are not necessary  

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## 1 answers

### Answer by username_2 on 2020-06-29. Score: 5 | Accepted answer

Rape and sexual assault definitely does not only affect the assaulted, but also the friends and family as they can feel helpless, not knowing what is best to do to help and support the assaulted.

As I mentioned in the comments, support groups such as

* RAINN (US)  
  Call 800 656 4673 or 800 656 HOPE  
  <https://www.rainn.org> and
* Survivors Trust (UK)  
  Call 0808 801 0331  
  <https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org>  
  See also: <https://www.thesurvivorstrust.org/national-helplines> for other national helplines

provide support to survivor's partners, friends and family too.

The following books are recommended by [Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre](https://www.ercc.scot/reading/)

* **Allies in healing: when the person you love was sexually abused as a child, by Laura Davis  
  ISBN: 978-0060552992**  
    
  Laura Davis is also the author of the well known book for survivors called *The Courage to Heal Workbook* which is a companion to the main book *The Courage to Heal* she co-authored with Ellen Bass  
    
  *Allies in Healing* is available through Amazon as a Kindle book for a much cheaper price than a printed copy if that suits you.
* **Ghosts in the bedroom: A guide for partners of incest survivors, by Ken Graber  
  ISBN: 978-1558741164**  
    
  Ken Graber draws from personal experience to show how partners can accept responsibility for their own issues, support the recovery of the incest or sexual abuse survivor, and work toward solving relationship problems together.


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