<p>Another way to phrase these questions would be:</p>

<ul>
<li>Why do humans feel fear and anxiety?</li>
<li>Why are humans particularly sensitive to potential losses See: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_aversion" rel="nofollow noreferrer">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_aversion</a></li>
</ul>

<p>In the broadest terms, the answer is that we evolved to have these mental characteristics because they probably gave our ancestors a survival and/or reproductive edge over their contemporaries. In the past, humans needed to be socially accepted in a small tribe; exclusion meant actual death as it was too hard to survive alone. Hence, we evolved to be hyper-sensitive to signs of social exclusion.</p>

<p>Your final question might be:</p>

<ul>
<li>How come we can't control our feelings with our thoughts?</li>
</ul>

<p>See the first point above. It didn't help us survive to be calm and at peace.</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2019-05-13T13:29:13.263Z
2019-05-13T13:29:13.263Z
Cameron Brick
<p>On reading about Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
 I encounter</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>But, if you feel sad after a friend cancels your lunch plans and you
  begin to think there’s obviously something seriously wrong with you
  and no one likes you, this is problematic because this thought is
  extreme and not based on reality.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>This makes sense because concluding that none likes you from canceling lunch is overestimation.</p>

<p>But my question is different: how or why are we generating these unrealistic thoughts in the first place? Especially given that after some challenging these thoughts, we can correct them ourselves. So if we can correct them ourselves after challenging them, why do we generate these unrealistic thoughts in the first place, and not the correct ones?</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2019-05-13T05:11:13.150Z
Welcome to Psychology.SE. Someone who has self-esteem issues can develop altered thinking patterns which are hard to break alone
Chris Rogers
CC BY-SA 4.0
2019-05-13T15:54:56.080Z
Could you include a reference/link to where you read that statement on CBT?
Steven Jeuris
CC BY-SA 4.0
2019-06-14T13:23:23.250Z
I believe I may have found your quote which is [here](https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=CXm9BgAAQBAJ&pg=PT118) and is talking about REBT [which is different to CBT](https://psychology.stackexchange.com/a/17325).  Is that where you was reading your quote?
Chris Rogers
<psychology><thought><cbt>
CBT approach and why we generate unrealistic thoughts
george
# CBT approach and why we generate unrealistic thoughts

(Asked by: username_0 on 2019-05-12)

On reading about Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
I encounter

> But, if you feel sad after a friend cancels your lunch plans and you
> begin to think there’s obviously something seriously wrong with you
> and no one likes you, this is problematic because this thought is
> extreme and not based on reality.

This makes sense because concluding that none likes you from canceling lunch is overestimation.

But my question is different: how or why are we generating these unrealistic thoughts in the first place? Especially given that after some challenging these thoughts, we can correct them ourselves. So if we can correct them ourselves after challenging them, why do we generate these unrealistic thoughts in the first place, and not the correct ones?

**Tags:** psychology, thought, cbt

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: Welcome to Psychology.SE. Someone who has self-esteem issues can develop altered thinking patterns which are hard to break alone  
> **username_2**: Could you include a reference/link to where you read that statement on CBT?  
> **username_1**: I believe I may have found your quote which is [here](https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=CXm9BgAAQBAJ&pg=PT118) and is talking about REBT [which is different to CBT](https://psychology.stackexchange.com/a/17325).  Is that where you was reading your quote?  

---

## 1 answers

### Answer by username_3 on 2019-05-13. Score: 1

Another way to phrase these questions would be:

* Why do humans feel fear and anxiety?
* Why are humans particularly sensitive to potential losses See: <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loss_aversion>

In the broadest terms, the answer is that we evolved to have these mental characteristics because they probably gave our ancestors a survival and/or reproductive edge over their contemporaries. In the past, humans needed to be socially accepted in a small tribe; exclusion meant actual death as it was too hard to survive alone. Hence, we evolved to be hyper-sensitive to signs of social exclusion.

Your final question might be:

* How come we can't control our feelings with our thoughts?

See the first point above. It didn't help us survive to be calm and at peace.


---

