<p>I have known a few abuse victims (mental abuse more than physical abuse). One common trait among all of these people are they would go to any length to make peace. Usually their abusers use this weakness to get their things done. For instance, one of the abusers I know would call up everyone if the victim does not pick up the call or would create extreme public nuisance. The victim would than quickly pick up his/her call or would try to do anything to bring back peace, usually at the expense of his/her dignity.
I have asked these victims and they have usually responded that they like peace.
Is there any psychological/ neuroscience phenomena that exclaims this behaviour?</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-08-07T09:12:27.273Z
Abuse in this form (sexual or domestic) is all about power. Those with some kind of power (perceived or real) are the ones who abuse. While abusing, the abuser tends to try and maintain that power with whatever means possible and the victim feels powerless until they are shown a real plausible way of gaining some power back from their abusers. It is perceived by some that police cannot or will not always help.
Chris Rogers
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-08-07T09:24:44.280Z
But why keep quiet. Why be sacred of the nuisance that you comply. I mean if someone does this thing to mean. I will create double the nuisance and scare the person away. But I just find these people do anything just to avoid this nuisance.
Echo
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-08-07T09:53:14.597Z
Because they feel they don't have the power to change the situation. With mental domestic abuse, [coercive control](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/) is often used. Until the victim can see a real plausible way of getting out of the situation, they try to limit the effects of the abuse by complying. Sometimes it causes more problems than perceived which adds to the effects the abuse has.
Chris Rogers
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-08-07T10:36:20.147Z
Why don't you make this an answer ? Also how to I break it? I tell them stuff like you are already living in hell. what more do you have to lose by fighting back. If he/she creates a ruckus, humiliate you publically - fight back? You have nothing to lose. They are not even willing to go to therapy. what do I do ? They will never call the police. It is not physical abuse. It is insidious mental abuse - controlling where they go, whom they meet, throwing a tantrum on happy occasions. There have never been a happy occasion in their life without the abuser crying or starting a fight. What do I do?
Echo
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-08-07T10:37:04.677Z
Also the abusers I know are both male and female. One is a mother and the other two husbands.
Echo
CC BY-SA 4.0
2020-08-08T01:14:39.737Z
Have you considered the order of cause and effect?  For example, people who are naturally agreeable, avoid confrontation, and submissive in nature, may be more likely to fall victim to abusers.  Conversely, people like you, who retaliate or avoid prospecting abusers, would be less likely to become victims.
Arnon Weinberg
<social-psychology>
Why does a lot of victims of abuse tend to avoid confrontation?
Echo
# Why does a lot of victims of abuse tend to avoid confrontation?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2020-08-07)

I have known a few abuse victims (mental abuse more than physical abuse). One common trait among all of these people are they would go to any length to make peace. Usually their abusers use this weakness to get their things done. For instance, one of the abusers I know would call up everyone if the victim does not pick up the call or would create extreme public nuisance. The victim would than quickly pick up his/her call or would try to do anything to bring back peace, usually at the expense of his/her dignity.
I have asked these victims and they have usually responded that they like peace.
Is there any psychological/ neuroscience phenomena that exclaims this behaviour?

**Tags:** social-psychology

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: Abuse in this form (sexual or domestic) is all about power. Those with some kind of power (perceived or real) are the ones who abuse. While abusing, the abuser tends to try and maintain that power with whatever means possible and the victim feels powerless until they are shown a real plausible way of gaining some power back from their abusers. It is perceived by some that police cannot or will not always help.  
> **username_0**: But why keep quiet. Why be sacred of the nuisance that you comply. I mean if someone does this thing to mean. I will create double the nuisance and scare the person away. But I just find these people do anything just to avoid this nuisance.  
> **username_1**: Because they feel they don't have the power to change the situation. With mental domestic abuse, [coercive control](https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/coercive-control/) is often used. Until the victim can see a real plausible way of getting out of the situation, they try to limit the effects of the abuse by complying. Sometimes it causes more problems than perceived which adds to the effects the abuse has.  
> **username_0**: Why don't you make this an answer ? Also how to I break it? I tell them stuff like you are already living in hell. what more do you have to lose by fighting back. If he/she creates a ruckus, humiliate you publically - fight back? You have nothing to lose. They are not even willing to go to therapy. what do I do ? They will never call the police. It is not physical abuse. It is insidious mental abuse - controlling where they go, whom they meet, throwing a tantrum on happy occasions. There have never been a happy occasion in their life without the abuser crying or starting a fight. What do I do?  
> **username_0**: Also the abusers I know are both male and female. One is a mother and the other two husbands.  
> **username_2**: Have you considered the order of cause and effect?  For example, people who are naturally agreeable, avoid confrontation, and submissive in nature, may be more likely to fall victim to abusers.  Conversely, people like you, who retaliate or avoid prospecting abusers, would be less likely to become victims.  

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## 0 answers

