<p>If you are notified a distant relative of someone has just passed away, you don't need to say much, just a simple "這樣啊" (Oh, I see) and/or "那真不幸" (that's really unfortunate) to acknowledge you have just learned the bad news.</p>

<p>If you are notified a close relative of someone has just passed away, you should add an condolences, and the most common phrase for offering condolences is <strong>節哀順變</strong> or <strong>節哀</strong></p>

<ul>
<li><p>"這樣啊... 那真不幸，希望你能<a href="http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/dictionary/words/54388/" rel="nofollow noreferrer">節哀順變</a>" (Oh, I see... That's really unfortunate, hope you can restrain your grief and accept the change)</p></li>
<li><p>"這樣啊... 那真不幸，請<a href="http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/dictionary/words/49231/" rel="nofollow noreferrer">節哀</a> (Oh, I see... That's really unfortunate, please restrain your grief)</p></li>
</ul>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2017-09-16T03:43:05.383Z
2017-09-16T03:50:09.333Z
2017-09-16T03:50:09.333Z
Tang Ho
<p>Besides what Tang Ho has provided. In a real practice (informal circumstances), if one's close friend/relative passed away, you could say these sentences: "真的啊！/真的吗! 什么时候的事情啊？ 那现在怎么样了？ 太不幸了！有什么我可以帮忙的吗？" If you feel your friend really sad, you could say: "你也别太难过了！ 人死不能复生。" You could apply those sentences according to the situations. These are all colloquial sentences. </p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2017-09-16T08:00:47.640Z
*"人死不能复生"* - Are you sure this wouldn't be offensive?
Suragch
CC BY-SA 3.0
2017-09-16T09:44:44.350Z
"人死不能复生". It's often used. You would hear it from TV shows sometimes. It's not offensive.
dan
CC BY-SA 3.0
2017-09-16T04:41:56.937Z
2017-09-16T04:41:56.937Z
dan
<p>I never know what to say/write in Chinese when a friend tells me that one of their relatives or friends has passed away. I'm aware of the terms of politeness for referring to the death itself:</p>

<ul>
<li><a href="https://chinese.stackexchange.com/questions/17175/politeness-in-referring-to-a-recent-death">Politeness in referring to a recent death</a></li>
<li><a href="https://chinese.stackexchange.com/questions/21515/what-is-the-polite-way-to-say-a-grandparent-has-passed-away">What is the polite way to say a grandparent has passed away?</a></li>
</ul>

<p>But I don't know what to say to the person who has just told me that someone they know just died. It is hard enough in English to know what to say, but I might say something like "Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that." or "I'm sorry for your loss." What can I say in Chinese that will be comforting, culturally appropriate, and won't sound trite?</p>

<p>I'd like to know for both the situation of a very close friend/relative dying and also for a more distant friend/relative dying. I assume one might say different things depending on how close they were.</p>

<p>Recent example of a more distant relative passing away:</p>

<ul>
<li><strong>Friend:</strong> "我们去【某地方】参加我四舅的葬礼去了，明天晚上十点左右才回来。谅！" <em>(We had originally planned to meet the next day.)</em></li>
<li><strong>Me:</strong> ?</li>
</ul>

<word-choice>
What do I say when a friend tells me about the death of a loved one?
# What do I say when a friend tells me about the death of a loved one?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2017-09-16)

I never know what to say/write in Chinese when a friend tells me that one of their relatives or friends has passed away. I'm aware of the terms of politeness for referring to the death itself:

* [Politeness in referring to a recent death](https://chinese.stackexchange.com/questions/17175/politeness-in-referring-to-a-recent-death)
* [What is the polite way to say a grandparent has passed away?](https://chinese.stackexchange.com/questions/21515/what-is-the-polite-way-to-say-a-grandparent-has-passed-away)

But I don't know what to say to the person who has just told me that someone they know just died. It is hard enough in English to know what to say, but I might say something like "Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that." or "I'm sorry for your loss." What can I say in Chinese that will be comforting, culturally appropriate, and won't sound trite?

I'd like to know for both the situation of a very close friend/relative dying and also for a more distant friend/relative dying. I assume one might say different things depending on how close they were.

Recent example of a more distant relative passing away:

* **Friend:** "我们去【某地方】参加我四舅的葬礼去了，明天晚上十点左右才回来。谅！" *(We had originally planned to meet the next day.)*
* **Me:** ?

**Tags:** word-choice


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## 2 answers

### Answer by username_1 on 2017-09-16. Score: 1

If you are notified a distant relative of someone has just passed away, you don't need to say much, just a simple "這樣啊" (Oh, I see) and/or "那真不幸" (that's really unfortunate) to acknowledge you have just learned the bad news.

If you are notified a close relative of someone has just passed away, you should add an condolences, and the most common phrase for offering condolences is **節哀順變** or **節哀**

* "這樣啊... 那真不幸，希望你能[節哀順變](http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/dictionary/words/54388/)" (Oh, I see... That's really unfortunate, hope you can restrain your grief and accept the change)
* "這樣啊... 那真不幸，請[節哀](http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/dictionary/words/49231/) (Oh, I see... That's really unfortunate, please restrain your grief)


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### Answer by username_2 on 2017-09-16. Score: 0

Besides what username_1 Ho has provided. In a real practice (informal circumstances), if one's close friend/relative passed away, you could say these sentences: "真的啊！/真的吗! 什么时候的事情啊？ 那现在怎么样了？ 太不幸了！有什么我可以帮忙的吗？" If you feel your friend really sad, you could say: "你也别太难过了！ 人死不能复生。" You could apply those sentences according to the situations. These are all colloquial sentences.

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: *"人死不能复生"* - Are you sure this wouldn't be offensive?  
> **username_2**: "人死不能复生". It's often used. You would hear it from TV shows sometimes. It's not offensive.  

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