<blockquote>
<p>Spare the rod and spoil the child.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>不打不成器 is a good match for the original saying in English, but it is not as famous as the expressions below</p>
<p>Similar saying in Chinese:</p>
<p>玉不琢不成器 - jade not been carved cannot become a vessel</p>
<p>慈母多敗兒 - loving mothers often spoil their children</p>
<p>養不教父之過, 教不嚴師之惰 - raising a child but not educate him is a father's fault, educate but not strict enough is a sign of the teacher's laziness</p>
<blockquote>
<p>“打是疼”的‘疼’是“疼爱”吗？</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes, it is</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T02:20:46.580Z
I see that you are familiar with the 三字经
Wayne Cheah
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T00:57:18.363Z
2022-06-10T00:57:18.363Z
Tang Ho
<p>&quot;Spare the rod&quot; implies the use of physical punishment as a disciplinary action for kids, the Chinese equivalent is &quot;不打不成器&quot;. The next would be &quot;棒頭出孝子&quot;.</p>
<p>While &quot;打是疼，骂是爱。&quot; can be used to explain the intent/inner emotion of parents who took disciplinary actions against their kid, it is more proper to use it to describe the quarrel between lovers. The modern expression of it is &quot;打是<strong>情</strong>，骂是<strong>爱</strong>。&quot;</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T03:08:13.083Z
2022-06-10T03:08:13.083Z
r13
<p>Here is one that many children remember hearing from their parents/grandparents:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><strong>黄荆棍下出好人 /// 黄荆条子出好人</strong><br />
A good person is born from under the rod</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Although the rod here is slightly more specific on the material that is to be used.</p>
<p>The following two phrases can aslo be added to the front of for emphasis:</p>
<ul>
<li>不打不成才，[...]</li>
<li>不打不成人，[...]</li>
</ul>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T23:00:10.523Z
A medicinal plant misused as a violent educator??
Pedroski
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-12T07:31:00.693Z
This brought back a lot of memories. Though we say it a little differently, 黄荆条子出好人
lilysirius
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-12T11:03:52.850Z
@lilysirius That's right! Let me add that to the answer.
Mou某
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T06:09:30.273Z
2022-06-12T11:04:12.663Z
2022-06-12T11:04:12.663Z
Mou某
<p><code>“打 是 疼” 的 ‘疼’ 是“疼爱”吗？</code></p>
<p>Teng <strong>疼</strong> is heart-aching love.</p>
<p>琢, 教, 打 could be the tools in old Chinese culture but 打 is a criminal act in modern common law region.</p>
<p>Teng with 打 is true with the word 疼爱.</p>
<p>For example,</p>
<blockquote>
<p>「Some parents consider heart-aching love as granting every wish of the child … (还有的家长把疼爱孩子理解为有求必应…)」</p>
</blockquote>
<p>In this example, this heart-aching love could mean:
疼 and the caregiving behavior system (
疼 reflects the importance of filial bonds in the Chinese culture, in particular the parents’ emotional experience.)</p>
<p>Therefore, 疼爱 的 疼 has several meanings:</p>
<ol>
<li>associated with the caregivers (e.g. with the parents)</li>
<li>associated with the feelings of tenderness</li>
</ol>
<blockquote>
<p>「Loving him, mad at him, and yet heart-aching (teng) for him, Xiao Geng gazed attentively, with deep feelings (qing), at her husband who was waxing eloquent on the podium. (真是让人又爱他,又气他,又疼他,小耿深情地注视着在台上侃侃而谈的丈夫)」</p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote>
<p>摘錄自
<em>Understanding Emotion in Chinese Culture</em>
Louise Sundararajan</p>
</blockquote>
<ol start="3">
<li>Teng could go much <strong>deeper than the tender feelings</strong> triggered by signs of vulnerability.</li>
</ol>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T04:04:55.243Z
'Spare the rod and spoil the child' may be '疼爱', but physically harmful
envs_h_gang_5
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T23:01:22.603Z
The physical damage is slight, but the psychological damage can be enormous!
Pedroski
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T03:59:13.183Z
2022-06-10T05:22:07.733Z
2022-06-10T05:22:07.733Z
envs_h_gang_5
<p>The British, in their wisdom, had this attitude towards the education of children:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Spare the rod and spoil the child.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>省了棍子，害了孩子。or 不打不成器。</p>
<p>The Chinese, in a similar vein, also have: 打是疼，骂是爱。</p>
<p>“打是疼，骂是爱”的出处：《醒世姻缘传》 三回：“丫头回去一一学了。晁大笑了两 声。珍哥红着脸说道：‘打是疼，骂是挺，极 该笑! ”’张恨水《金粉世家》七回然有 句俗话，打是疼，骂是爱，可是你还補到咱 金家来，要执行权威，还似乎早了 点子 哩。”</p>
<p>What is the best translation for &quot;Spare the rod and spoil the child.&quot;</p>
<p>“打是疼”的‘疼’是“疼爱”吗？</p>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T02:49:27.237Z
I also heard 不打不成材
Xuehong Zhang
CC BY-SA 4.0
2022-06-10T22:55:49.620Z
All answers great, can't choose a best one!
Pedroski
<translation>
Translation of "Spare the rod and spoil the child."
# Translation of "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

(Asked by: username_0 on 2022-06-09)

The British, in their wisdom, had this attitude towards the education of children:

> Spare the rod and spoil the child.

省了棍子，害了孩子。or 不打不成器。

The Chinese, in a similar vein, also have: 打是疼，骂是爱。

“打是疼，骂是爱”的出处：《醒世姻缘传》 三回：“丫头回去一一学了。晁大笑了两 声。珍哥红着脸说道：‘打是疼，骂是挺，极 该笑! ”’张恨水《金粉世家》七回然有 句俗话，打是疼，骂是爱，可是你还補到咱 金家来，要执行权威，还似乎早了 点子 哩。”

What is the best translation for "Spare the rod and spoil the child."

“打是疼”的‘疼’是“疼爱”吗？

**Tags:** translation

> **Comments:**
> **username_1**: I also heard 不打不成材  
> **username_0**: All answers great, can't choose a best one!  

---

## 4 answers

### Answer by username_2 on 2022-06-10. Score: 7

> Spare the rod and spoil the child.

不打不成器 is a good match for the original saying in English, but it is not as famous as the expressions below

Similar saying in Chinese:

玉不琢不成器 - jade not been carved cannot become a vessel

慈母多敗兒 - loving mothers often spoil their children

養不教父之過, 教不嚴師之惰 - raising a child but not educate him is a father's fault, educate but not strict enough is a sign of the teacher's laziness

> “打是疼”的‘疼’是“疼爱”吗？

Yes, it is

> **Comments:**
> **username_3**: I see that you are familiar with the 三字经  

---

### Answer by username_4 on 2022-06-10. Score: 4

"Spare the rod" implies the use of physical punishment as a disciplinary action for kids, the Chinese equivalent is "不打不成器". The next would be "棒頭出孝子".

While "打是疼，骂是爱。" can be used to explain the intent/inner emotion of parents who took disciplinary actions against their kid, it is more proper to use it to describe the quarrel between lovers. The modern expression of it is "打是**情**，骂是**爱**。"


---

### Answer by username_5 on 2022-06-10. Score: 3

Here is one that many children remember hearing from their parents/grandparents:

> **黄荆棍下出好人 /// 黄荆条子出好人**  
> A good person is born from under the rod

Although the rod here is slightly more specific on the material that is to be used.

The following two phrases can aslo be added to the front of for emphasis:

* 不打不成才，[...]
* 不打不成人，[...]

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: A medicinal plant misused as a violent educator??  
> **username_6**: This brought back a lot of memories. Though we say it a little differently, 黄荆条子出好人  
> **username_5**: @username_6 That's right! Let me add that to the answer.  

---

### Answer by username_7 on 2022-06-10. Score: 1

`“打 是 疼” 的 ‘疼’ 是“疼爱”吗？`

Teng **疼** is heart-aching love.

琢, 教, 打 could be the tools in old Chinese culture but 打 is a criminal act in modern common law region.

Teng with 打 is true with the word 疼爱.

For example,

> 「Some parents consider heart-aching love as granting every wish of the child … (还有的家长把疼爱孩子理解为有求必应…)」

In this example, this heart-aching love could mean:
疼 and the caregiving behavior system (
疼 reflects the importance of filial bonds in the Chinese culture, in particular the parents’ emotional experience.)

Therefore, 疼爱 的 疼 has several meanings:

1. associated with the caregivers (e.g. with the parents)
2. associated with the feelings of tenderness

> 「Loving him, mad at him, and yet heart-aching (teng) for him, Xiao Geng gazed attentively, with deep feelings (qing), at her husband who was waxing eloquent on the podium. (真是让人又爱他,又气他,又疼他,小耿深情地注视着在台上侃侃而谈的丈夫)」

> 摘錄自
> *Understanding Emotion in Chinese Culture*
> Louise Sundararajan

3. Teng could go much **deeper than the tender feelings** triggered by signs of vulnerability.

> **Comments:**
> **username_7**: 'Spare the rod and spoil the child' may be '疼爱', but physically harmful  
> **username_0**: The physical damage is slight, but the psychological damage can be enormous!  

---

