<p>It seems that the <a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/the-shorter-columbia-anthology-of-traditional-chinese-literature/9780231505628" rel="nofollow noreferrer">The Shorter Columbia Anthology of Traditional Chinese Literature</a> Edited by Victor H. Mair also contains the same joke.</p>
<p>It begins on Page 437:</p>
<p><a href="https://i.sstatic.net/6v5u9.png" rel="nofollow noreferrer"><img src="https://i.sstatic.net/6v5u9.png" alt="yes" /></a></p>
<p>and continue on page 438</p>
<p><a href="https://i.sstatic.net/wWIQT.png" rel="nofollow noreferrer"><img src="https://i.sstatic.net/wWIQT.png" alt="no" /></a></p>
<p>The original Chinese would need to be dug up to make any sense of this translation though.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Conversation Between a Senior Official and His Subordinate<br />
from Sequel to Ticklish Tales<br />
Man of the Way from Smallstone</p>
<p>A District duty officer who had obtained his position through purchase did not understand Mandarin.<sup>10</sup> After he took office, he paid a courtesy call upon a regional official who asked him, &quot;What are the <strong>customs</strong> like in your honorable district?&quot;<br />
&quot;People don't <strong>cuss</strong> much there are there aren't many <strong>toms</strong> either.&quot;<br />
&quot;How are the <strong>fingerlings</strong> this year?&quot;<br />
&quot;Finger rings cost two hundred and eighty cash.&quot;<br />
&quot;Are there many contributions of <strong>gentry grain</strong>?&quot;<br />
&quot;Your servants teeth <strong>gently gleam</strong>.&quot;<br />
&quot;How are the <strong>commoners</strong> getting on&quot;
&quot;We only have a couple of <strong>cum</strong>min bushes, but there are lots of cinna<strong>mon</strong> trees.&quot;
&quot;I was asking about the populace.&quot;<br />
&quot;We've got lots of <strong>poplars</strong>, but they don't produce much timber.&quot;<br />
&quot;I wasn't asking you about threes and such. What I am trying to find out about is the condition of the <strong>citizens</strong>.&quot;<br />
Standing up hurriedly, the duty officer replied, &quot;I regret to inform you, sir, that I have a face full of <strong>zits</strong> and an arse full of <strong>wens</strong>.&quot;</p>
<p><sup>10. Mandarin (&lt; Sanskrit mantrin [“counselor”]) quite literally means “language of the officials.” The Mandarin equivalent of this word is kuan-hua (official speech). Mandarin was the vernacular language employed by members of the Chinese bureaucracy who hailed from different parts of the country and, as such, spoke a variety of more or less mutually unintelligible native languages and topolects. Mandarin was based upon—but not entirely equivalent to—the language of the capital, being a somewhat refined version of the latter. This joke, which is challenging to render in English, reveals the difficulties inherent in forging a national bureaucracy from a multilingual constituency.</sup></p>
</blockquote>
<hr />
<p>Apparently the original story in《嘻談續錄》is called《堂屬問答》and goes like this:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>一捐班不懂官話，到任後，謁見各憲上司，問曰：「貴治風土何如？」答曰：「並無大風，更少塵土。」又問：「春花何如？」答曰：「今春棉花每斤二百八。」又問：「紳糧何如？」答曰：「卑職身量，足穿三尺六。」又問：「百姓何如？」答曰：「白杏只有兩棵，紅杏不少。」上憲曰：「我問的是黎庶。」答曰：「梨樹甚多，結果子甚小。」上憲曰：「我不是問什麼梨杏，我是問你的小民。」官忙站起來答曰：「卑職小名狗兒。」</p>
</blockquote>

CC BY-SA 4.0
2018-08-13T18:02:14.987Z
2018-08-13T18:44:04.940Z
2020-06-17T09:50:11.587Z
Mou某
<p><em>Chinese History: A New Manual, Fifth Edition</em> by Endymion Wilkinson has a little note that says:</p>

<blockquote>
  <p>For a longer joke about a junior official with poor <em>guanhua</em> skills, see <em>Xitan xulu</em> 嘻談續錄 (Ticklish tales, continued). <em>Xiaoshi daoren</em> 小石道人, comp. eighteenth century; Columbia anthology (§30.7) 667.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>§30.7 is a section entitled <strong>Guides &amp; Research Tools</strong>, where the only thing that seems to match the title is this entry:</p>

<blockquote>
  <ol start="8">
  <li>Mair, Victor H. ed. 1994. The Columbia anthology of traditional Chinese literature. ColUP. Four hundred translations by many hands. Canonical works of literature are well represented, but what makes this an unusually rich feast for browsing is that almost anything written in Chinese during the last 3,200 years is also sampled from divination records to philosophical texts to anonymous folk ballads and the marginal doodles of a copyist. </li>
  </ol>
</blockquote>

<p>Which seems to be this book:</p>

<p><a href="https://cup.columbia.edu/book/the-columbia-anthology-of-traditional-chinese-literature/9780231074292" rel="nofollow noreferrer">The Columbia Anthology of Traditional Chinese Literature Edited by Victor H. Mair </a></p>

<p>Google Books doesn't seem to have a scanned version and I can't find any other digital version online at the moment.</p>

<p>There seems to be a chapter of Jokes that being on page 658 and run to page 670.</p>

<p>Does anyone know the joke that is listed on page 667 of the book?</p>

<resources>
What's the joke about Guanhua in Ticklish Tales Contiuned by Xiaoshi Daoren?
# What's the joke about Guanhua in Ticklish Tales Contiuned by Xiaoshi Daoren?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2018-08-13)

*Chinese History: A New Manual, Fifth Edition* by Endymion Wilkinson has a little note that says:

> For a longer joke about a junior official with poor *guanhua* skills, see *Xitan xulu* 嘻談續錄 (Ticklish tales, continued). *Xiaoshi daoren* 小石道人, comp. eighteenth century; Columbia anthology (§30.7) 667.

§30.7 is a section entitled **Guides & Research Tools**, where the only thing that seems to match the title is this entry:

> 8. Mair, Victor H. ed. 1994. The Columbia anthology of traditional Chinese literature. ColUP. Four hundred translations by many hands. Canonical works of literature are well represented, but what makes this an unusually rich feast for browsing is that almost anything written in Chinese during the last 3,200 years is also sampled from divination records to philosophical texts to anonymous folk ballads and the marginal doodles of a copyist.

Which seems to be this book:

[The Columbia Anthology of Traditional Chinese Literature Edited by Victor H. Mair](https://cup.columbia.edu/book/the-columbia-anthology-of-traditional-chinese-literature/9780231074292)

Google Books doesn't seem to have a scanned version and I can't find any other digital version online at the moment.

There seems to be a chapter of Jokes that being on page 658 and run to page 670.

Does anyone know the joke that is listed on page 667 of the book?

**Tags:** resources


---

## 1 answers

### Answer by username_0 on 2018-08-13. Score: 2 | Accepted answer

It seems that the [The Shorter Columbia Anthology of Traditional Chinese Literature](https://cup.columbia.edu/book/the-shorter-columbia-anthology-of-traditional-chinese-literature/9780231505628) Edited by Victor H. Mair also contains the same joke.

It begins on Page 437:

[![yes](https://i.sstatic.net/6v5u9.png)](https://i.sstatic.net/6v5u9.png)

and continue on page 438

[![no](https://i.sstatic.net/wWIQT.png)](https://i.sstatic.net/wWIQT.png)

The original Chinese would need to be dug up to make any sense of this translation though.

> Conversation Between a Senior Official and His Subordinate  
> from Sequel to Ticklish Tales  
> Man of the Way from Smallstone
>
> A District duty officer who had obtained his position through purchase did not understand Mandarin.10 After he took office, he paid a courtesy call upon a regional official who asked him, "What are the **customs** like in your honorable district?"  
> "People don't **cuss** much there are there aren't many **toms** either."  
> "How are the **fingerlings** this year?"  
> "Finger rings cost two hundred and eighty cash."  
> "Are there many contributions of **gentry grain**?"  
> "Your servants teeth **gently gleam**."  
> "How are the **commoners** getting on"
> "We only have a couple of **cum**min bushes, but there are lots of cinna**mon** trees."
> "I was asking about the populace."  
> "We've got lots of **poplars**, but they don't produce much timber."  
> "I wasn't asking you about threes and such. What I am trying to find out about is the condition of the **citizens**."  
> Standing up hurriedly, the duty officer replied, "I regret to inform you, sir, that I have a face full of **zits** and an arse full of **wens**."
>
> 10. Mandarin (< Sanskrit mantrin [“counselor”]) quite literally means “language of the officials.” The Mandarin equivalent of this word is kuan-hua (official speech). Mandarin was the vernacular language employed by members of the Chinese bureaucracy who hailed from different parts of the country and, as such, spoke a variety of more or less mutually unintelligible native languages and topolects. Mandarin was based upon—but not entirely equivalent to—the language of the capital, being a somewhat refined version of the latter. This joke, which is challenging to render in English, reveals the difficulties inherent in forging a national bureaucracy from a multilingual constituency.

---

Apparently the original story in《嘻談續錄》is called《堂屬問答》and goes like this:

> 一捐班不懂官話，到任後，謁見各憲上司，問曰：「貴治風土何如？」答曰：「並無大風，更少塵土。」又問：「春花何如？」答曰：「今春棉花每斤二百八。」又問：「紳糧何如？」答曰：「卑職身量，足穿三尺六。」又問：「百姓何如？」答曰：「白杏只有兩棵，紅杏不少。」上憲曰：「我問的是黎庶。」答曰：「梨樹甚多，結果子甚小。」上憲曰：「我不是問什麼梨杏，我是問你的小民。」官忙站起來答曰：「卑職小名狗兒。」


---

