<p>Cantonese really has a nice distinction here, between "thanks for doing that", <code>唔該</code> (m4 goi1), and <code>多謝</code> (do1 ze6) for receiving something of great or tangible value.  You'd say <code>唔該</code> to a waiter and <code>多謝</code> to a co-worker who recommended you for a promotion.</p>

<p>In Mandarin, I've always erred towards too polite, saying <code>谢谢</code> or <code>多谢</code> for everyday interactions and <code>非常感谢</code> when I really meant it, or wanted to be really sarcastic :)  My observation has been that average Chinese people amongst themselves don't generally feel bad about not having a way to verbalize thanks in everyday situations - it's really not expected. I do think, however, that as a foreigner (as you probably are if you're learning Chinese as a second language) it's always better to be too polite.  Just my 2 <code>分</code>.</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-22T01:33:01.707Z
2011-12-22T01:33:01.707Z
2snacc
<p>I find that at least in Taiwan, people tend to go with the less formal and more fluent 谢啦.</p>

<p>A silent politeness favorite of mine is lightly tapping your fingers against the table, thus thanking someone for pouring tea (or similar) without interrupting the conversation.</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2014-01-09T12:35:20.027Z
@Cocowalla '谢啦' is quite common in mainland as well.
Bolu
CC BY-SA 3.0
2014-08-10T01:24:46.797Z
@Bolu Could you add what part of the mainland you know?
Colin McLarty
CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-22T09:20:18.673Z
Interesting, thanks. Is `谢啦` only used in Taiwan? (I  haven't heard it on the mainland)
Cocowalla
CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-22T21:41:12.787Z
Not sure, haven't heard it there either. But it's a big mainland ;)
Lars Andren
CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-21T19:36:19.663Z
2011-12-21T19:36:19.663Z
Lars Andren
<p>The only thing I can add to this is that with close friends you should be wary of using 谢谢 too much! My Chinese friend once told me that, because of our friendship, it should be obvious that we are thankful for the kind things that we each do for one another and that it can actually create the feeling of distance in a relationship rather than closeness. I have since found this to be good advice.</p>

<p>In terms of daily life each situation is unique and its learning to judge the situation, rather than learning a set of rules regarding politeness that would be the best way forward.</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2012-01-02T23:21:35.343Z
2012-01-02T23:21:35.343Z
chentudou
<p>This is a subjective question, to some people polite words <code>谢谢</code> or thanks do not mean much of a thing. (It is just 'niceties' making you appear to be 0.1% that much more polite to them)</p>

<p>So my verdict: It depends (does not matter whether it is English or Chinese, or whether young or old)</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-30T17:29:13.887Z
2011-12-30T17:29:13.887Z
prusswan
<p>We(I think) would like to say thanks to people who help us, however, we don't usually like to say thanks to people who serve us with a cup of tea. It is weird, yes compared to westerns. There maybe one reason for this (maybe significant): In China 'thanks' is a heavy word, we reluctant to say this all the time while a simple replay would mean a lightweight version of 'thanks', for example, say 'good' to the guy who bring a cup of tea to you. (pure personal opinion!)    </p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2012-01-02T18:53:47.627Z
2012-01-02T18:53:47.627Z
Rn2dy
<p>My friends use 谢谢 all the time, so even if someone pours them a drink for the 10th time they will still say 谢谢. One thing I noticed when I first started learning was that how I said it sounded too exaggerated, so it was coming across like I was trying to thank someone for saving my life when it was just supposed to be a simple thanks. So maybe try toning it down slightly.</p>

<p>麻烦你 is also quite similar to the English "sorry to trouble you". Don't use this when you haven't troubled someone. So, use it if you have to ask someone to unexpectedly baby sit your children, but not when you ask someone to pass the salt. However, this can be used with grumpy shop keepers (occasionally heard sarcastically) if they reluctantly have to get something off the top shelf or out of its packaging and you decide you don't want to buy it.</p>

<p>Please is hardly used as mentioned.</p>

<p>There are plenty of niceties that you may have not noticed yet that are practiced regularly and not done in the West. Such as standing up when someone new enters a room, regularly offering food or drink to guests, regular giving of gifts etc.</p>

<p>I would say polite things are done as often as the West, just done in a different way.</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-21T20:27:41.737Z
Personally I find that younger Chinese are more likely to use 谢谢 to thank someone than older people are. Perhaps origin (i.e. more developed areas vs less developed ones) also plays a factor.
Bjorn
CC BY-SA 3.0
2017-10-30T06:13:25.917Z
Also, what about using "一下" ?
DuckMaestro
CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-19T19:19:34.077Z
2011-12-19T19:19:34.077Z
going
<p>I've noticed in China that people don't tend to use as many 'polite' words as we do in western languages, like 'please' or 'thank you'. I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about this; I find that such niceties are often overused in English, to the point where they become insincere.</p>

<p>In English I would automatically say 'thanks' whenever someone does something for me. In China I found I got some quizzical looks doing this with <code>谢谢</code> (xiè xie).</p>

<p>Perhaps another example is in restaurants where I've heard people screaming <code>服务员!</code> (fú wù yuán) across the room, whereas westerners would raise a hand, or try to make eye contact, or say 'excuse me'.</p>

<p>So my question is, in China, how polite is too polite? When is it appropriate to use things like <code>谢谢</code> or <code>麻烦你</code> (má fan nǐ), and when should I restrain the impulse to avoid sounding weird?</p>

CC BY-SA 3.0
2014-08-10T01:21:59.020Z
@Phil 别客气 or 不谢 are also polite responses to a "thank you" when you really were right to say thank you.
Colin McLarty
CC BY-SA 3.0
2011-12-20T11:10:50.620Z
Most of the time a nod would do it.
Kabie
CC BY-SA 3.0
2012-01-14T11:51:23.967Z
I was about to ask this, only related to 谢谢, but I see you did first :D +1
Alenanno
CC BY-SA 3.0
2012-05-16T00:34:33.213Z
My teacher says 谢谢 a lot, sometimes several times in a row when she is thanking or praising a student. (She does the same with 好.) With regards to yelling across the restaurant: I wouldn't say that chinese are less polite to waiters. They just don't consider that to be impolite. Likewise, there are some things Chinese consider to be polite that Westerners are ambivalent about (such as not properly pouring tea for somebody else).
Mark E. Haase
CC BY-SA 3.0
2013-08-16T07:46:44.303Z
My Chinese friends made up an English word- "no q" to mean "don't say thank you". They would say it whenever I said thanks.
Phil
<word-choice><culture><mainland-china><politeness>
How polite is too polite?
# How polite is too polite?

(Asked by: username_0 on 2011-12-19)

I've noticed in China that people don't tend to use as many 'polite' words as we do in western languages, like 'please' or 'thank you'. I want to make it clear that I'm not complaining about this; I find that such niceties are often overused in English, to the point where they become insincere.

In English I would automatically say 'thanks' whenever someone does something for me. In China I found I got some quizzical looks doing this with `谢谢` (xiè xie).

Perhaps another example is in restaurants where I've heard people screaming `服务员!` (fú wù yuán) across the room, whereas westerners would raise a hand, or try to make eye contact, or say 'excuse me'.

So my question is, in China, how polite is too polite? When is it appropriate to use things like `谢谢` or `麻烦你` (má fan nǐ), and when should I restrain the impulse to avoid sounding weird?

**Tags:** word-choice, culture, mainland-china, politeness

> **Comments:**
> **username_2**: Most of the time a nod would do it.  
> **username_3**: I was about to ask this, only related to 谢谢, but I see you did first :D +1  
> **username_4**: My teacher says 谢谢 a lot, sometimes several times in a row when she is thanking or praising a student. (She does the same with 好.) With regards to yelling across the restaurant: I wouldn't say that chinese are less polite to waiters. They just don't consider that to be impolite. Likewise, there are some things Chinese consider to be polite that Westerners are ambivalent about (such as not properly pouring tea for somebody else).  
> **username_5**: My Chinese friends made up an English word- "no q" to mean "don't say thank you". They would say it whenever I said thanks.  
> **username_1**: @username_5 别客气 or 不谢 are also polite responses to a "thank you" when you really were right to say thank you.  

---

## 6 answers

### Answer by username_12 on 2011-12-19. Score: 19 | Accepted answer

My friends use 谢谢 all the time, so even if someone pours them a drink for the 10th time they will still say 谢谢. One thing I noticed when I first started learning was that how I said it sounded too exaggerated, so it was coming across like I was trying to thank someone for saving my life when it was just supposed to be a simple thanks. So maybe try toning it down slightly.

麻烦你 is also quite similar to the English "sorry to trouble you". Don't use this when you haven't troubled someone. So, use it if you have to ask someone to unexpectedly baby sit your children, but not when you ask someone to pass the salt. However, this can be used with grumpy shop keepers (occasionally heard sarcastically) if they reluctantly have to get something off the top shelf or out of its packaging and you decide you don't want to buy it.

Please is hardly used as mentioned.

There are plenty of niceties that you may have not noticed yet that are practiced regularly and not done in the West. Such as standing up when someone new enters a room, regularly offering food or drink to guests, regular giving of gifts etc.

I would say polite things are done as often as the West, just done in a different way.

> **Comments:**
> **username_13**: Personally I find that younger Chinese are more likely to use 谢谢 to thank someone than older people are. Perhaps origin (i.e. more developed areas vs less developed ones) also plays a factor.  
> **username_14**: Also, what about using "一下" ?  

---

### Answer by username_6 on 2011-12-22. Score: 10

Cantonese really has a nice distinction here, between "thanks for doing that", `唔該` (m4 goi1), and `多謝` (do1 ze6) for receiving something of great or tangible value. You'd say `唔該` to a waiter and `多謝` to a co-worker who recommended you for a promotion.

In Mandarin, I've always erred towards too polite, saying `谢谢` or `多谢` for everyday interactions and `非常感谢` when I really meant it, or wanted to be really sarcastic :) My observation has been that average Chinese people amongst themselves don't generally feel bad about not having a way to verbalize thanks in everyday situations - it's really not expected. I do think, however, that as a foreigner (as you probably are if you're learning Chinese as a second language) it's always better to be too polite. Just my 2 `分`.


---

### Answer by username_7 on 2011-12-21. Score: 5

I find that at least in Taiwan, people tend to go with the less formal and more fluent 谢啦.

A silent politeness favorite of mine is lightly tapping your fingers against the table, thus thanking someone for pouring tea (or similar) without interrupting the conversation.

> **Comments:**
> **username_0**: Interesting, thanks. Is `谢啦` only used in Taiwan? (I  haven't heard it on the mainland)  
> **username_7**: Not sure, haven't heard it there either. But it's a big mainland ;)  
> **username_8**: @username_0 '谢啦' is quite common in mainland as well.  
> **username_1**: @username_8 Could you add what part of the mainland you know?  

---

### Answer by username_9 on 2012-01-02. Score: 4

The only thing I can add to this is that with close friends you should be wary of using 谢谢 too much! My Chinese friend once told me that, because of our friendship, it should be obvious that we are thankful for the kind things that we each do for one another and that it can actually create the feeling of distance in a relationship rather than closeness. I have since found this to be good advice.

In terms of daily life each situation is unique and its learning to judge the situation, rather than learning a set of rules regarding politeness that would be the best way forward.


---

### Answer by username_10 on 2011-12-30. Score: 3

This is a subjective question, to some people polite words `谢谢` or thanks do not mean much of a thing. (It is just 'niceties' making you appear to be 0.1% that much more polite to them)

So my verdict: It depends (does not matter whether it is English or Chinese, or whether young or old)


---

### Answer by username_11 on 2012-01-02. Score: 1

We(I think) would like to say thanks to people who help us, however, we don't usually like to say thanks to people who serve us with a cup of tea. It is weird, yes compared to westerns. There maybe one reason for this (maybe significant): In China 'thanks' is a heavy word, we reluctant to say this all the time while a simple replay would mean a lightweight version of 'thanks', for example, say 'good' to the guy who bring a cup of tea to you. (pure personal opinion!)


---

