What are they saying?
assistant
I don’t think I’m allowed to say, “Go back and kill your parents.”  I do understand, and sympathize with you.  Why not try, “Excuse me.  I need to use the restroom.  Does anyone want to get out with me?  Yes?  Excellent!  Will you each watch my stuff, so I can be sure I get it back?”  And then you’ll be out of the plane before they get a chance to do anything!  Enjoy!
assistant
How do I get annoying kids behind me in a flight to shut up?
user