Through this blog and my dear friend Kelli, the whole congregation knew who I was. Word had been spread by caring hearts and we were immediately welcomed. Multiple people approached me and asked "Are you Leila's mommy?", followed by great big hugs and thanks for sharing our journey. I knew Leila's story had touched lives, but what I didn't realize was the abounding love that people who have never even met us have for her. One person in particular was more excited to see me than anyone; Pastor Brian, a man with an infectious smile, a wonderful sense of humor, no shoes and true faith in Christ.
The subject of his sermon today was Walking with God. The message being spoken was about how God is not looking for you to sacrifice for him, to be a selfless servant. All God wants is a relationship with you. For you to have faith in Him and trust your life to Him. Through the horrible realities of our situation, it has been a goal of mine to allow my faith to evolve. In the past, I have felt silly speaking out loud to something that is not there, even in private. Prayer didn't make much sense to me. During reflection time, Brian asked if we could pray together. We sat while the choir sang and with one hand on my belly and the other holding mine tight, he spoke loudly to God. He asked Him to hold Leila in his arms, to prove the doctors wrong and be well, to walk with me as I carry her and bring us peace. Tears poured from everyone around us and I truly felt the presence of Lord through him. To witness his raw belief in the power of prayer was pretty amazing, and I felt very lucky to be the subject of his requests. To me, this was proof enough that although I cannot seem Him, God is there for me and His love is delivered through those around us that believe.
Today, I pray for the families that are walking this same road now, those who have walked it in the past, and those who will sadly be faced with walking it in the future. I pray for those who are keeping us in their hearts and thoughts. I pray for myself, that my relationship with Christ continues to develop and to let Him act through me. Most of all, I pray for my little girl. I pray that she may keep teaching me these daily lessons and continue to show me the realities of faith and unconditional love.