Everyone loves their love story. We feel like it’s special and unique. I love ours.
As we come from two different countries, people regularly ask us how we met. So this is my short version.
We met on a week long student exchange, became a couple on day 3, had known each other for 2 months when Charlie changed his plans to work in Italy to follow me to my country so I could finish my studies, we got engaged after a year, got married after 2 and got pregnant with our first baby on our first wedding anniversary.
After my graduation we moved back to Ireland to work and to become the third generation in his family practice, had more children, a cat, a dog, a couple of rabbits and we stayed in love throughout all the ups and downs of growing up together to become more mature parents and owners.
I love the fact that we wouldn’t have met if things had always gone the way we wanted. I got my place at the exchange only because I failed my first exam to study architecture and had to take a year out to do other things and while I was at it I met a friend who got me involved in the exchange 2 years later and then she took the famous photo of our first kiss.
On the other hand, Charlie was there because he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do in life when he finished his high school and took a year out to travel and do some voluntary work and when he finally figured it out and got back home, there was only one university available to him. We met the day after he had submitted his final project.
We were both single at the time but I had just got out of a long term relationship a couple of months before that. It seemed like a crazy idea to start dating again with someone from so far away but I decided that even if it was going to be just a summer fling it was worth it. We walked into it with an open mind and took it a day at a time at first, then fell deeper and deeper in love and started to adjust our life plans to fit the other person into it.
I was surprised to see my parents reaction when I first brought Charlie home. They loved him instantly and he quickly became another family member. During the first year, we spent most of the time together although I was still studying and Charlie started working. By the time February came I knew I wanted to spend my life with him. It was a leap year and I briefly entertained a thought of suggesting marriage to him but I was afraid how he’d react. 6 months later he proposed anyway.
We had to be separated for the following 6 months and it broke my heart. I hated being so far away from him. I remember flying back home after a holiday together in Ireland and hating the plane which was bringing me further and further away. Days and weeks seemed to be taking forever before we could be reunited.
We spent Christmas together with family, celebrating our engagement and saying goodbyes before taking off to America for yet another 6 months. We came back just in time to finish the preparations for the wedding.
We drove to Italy for our honeymoon and although we spent most of the time driving, we enjoyed it immensely. We got to see a few towns and cities, and while we were in San Marino the planes crashed into the World Trade Centre. A new era started not only in our life but in the whole world too. I regretted I hadn’t got a chance to see New York before 9/11 especially since we hadn’t been too far from it.
After we were married we lived in my home place until I graduated and then moved to Ireland for better job prospects. I was already 5 months pregnant with our first child when we took all we had (which wasn’t much at that stage) and bought a one way ticket to our new home.
Over the next 5 years our family expanded. Life got busy and I had to put my career on hold. Children took over my attention, time and all my energy. I didn’t complain because we never lacked anything. We were all healthy and even though one salary wasn’t a lot for all of us plus the mortgage, we always had enough. And yet, there were times when I would feel heavy in my heart and say to myself -“There must be more to life then this”. I missed home, my people, I missed being busy with something other than cleaning the house, cooking and looking after the kids. I just felt I wasn’t myself, wasn’t reaching my potential. Looking back I know I must have been somewhat depressed, as there were physical symptoms as well, like pain and fatigue. But I didn’t look for help and rather blamed myself and tried to cope better. I was going up and down and never knew when I would arrive at the next bend.
We were a part of a lovely church and prayer helped and sustained me. When our youngest went to school I returned to work but it wasn’t easy either. I never felt part of the office and was so far behind everyone that every day seemed like my first day at work. I couldn’t work full time because of school holidays and various, unexpected children’s illnesses which resulted in never being able to progress too far. So I clocked in as many hours as I could and hoped that with time it would get easier.
In the end I was where I wanted to be – working with my husband in “our” office. Only it didn’t feel like ours and I often felt more like a nuisance because of my lack of experience than an actual help.
But at least I had our family, our love and our marriage and no one could take that from me.