Do you know the quickest way to alienate or mislead prospects and potential contacts?
You might be doing it every time you network.
How do you answer the questions, “What do you do?”
If you answer with a title, you are alienating or misleading.
A title in this situation is either a name for your position or a generalized scope of field.
“I’m a manager”
“I’m in sales”
“I’m in communications”
Say any of these and your inroads to beginning a relationship are pretty much over, conversation dead before it started.
You did not answer the question – what do you do?
You have randomly and generically assigned no meaning to your value whatsoever. People are looking for a way to escape your vicinity.
Titles are meaningless
More often than not, titles do not convey an accurate portrayal of your position and value. There are exceptions, of course. If you are a Pediatric Oncologist that pretty much sums it up. There are also those who are very elevated within their industry or career that they use a simple title to underplay themselves because their reputation precedes them.
But for the vast majority of us – titles stink. Not only do the not reflect who you are; they also allow the other party to assign your value based on their own personal experience.
Poor insurance agents, they have such a bad rap. People normally assimilate them with never ending phone calls, follow up emails and endless conversations about term life insurance – snore. I worked in the financial industry in brokerage, banking and insurance and have yet to meet an insurance agent who truly wants to talk my ear off about term life insurance. But the negative reputation precedes them.
There are a few out there that do fall into the stereotype, as well as unfortunate souls who have been party to their badgering and mind-numbing conversations.
If you are an insurance agent who happens to come across one of those unfortunate souls and you introduce yourself by your title, you have just allowed them in less than 2 seconds to immediately categorize you as the same as that other agent.
Do not think you are going to talk your way out of it to change their mind about you. They have already assigned a value to you and will not be listening to how you are not that person, they do not care.
In telling the other party that you are “in sales” they will most likely translate that into “I’m going to try to sell you something right now!” Why? Because there must be some unwritten law that, as consumers, we much be subjected to the pushy sales person at least once in our lifetime. It is never a pleasant experience and one we are not likely to forget. That is the impression that stays with us, despite hundreds of interactions with solution-based, customer centric sales professionals.
Manager – what does that mean? I have had managers who were awesome, mentoring leaders who cared about their team. I have also had managers that didn’t give diddly-squat about anyone but themselves. Which one are you? Giving me just the title allows me to assign that perception to you.
It is not what you are called, it is what you do
Instead of using a title, try introducing yourself as the value you provide to your clients or company.
A friend of mine attended a talk I gave about networking and elevator pitches, which is in line with what I am saying in this blog. He is an insurance rep. I know, stop cringing.
After the talk he took time to think about the value he provides to his client. He asked himself why do his clients work with him, what are their goals and what does he help them achieve. He then assigned a new way to introduce himself and tested it at his next networking event.
When asked what he did, he responded, “I am a retirement coach.” It is an anti-title because it is an unusual title that prompts a question.
The question is key. You want that type of response, it means they were listening and have opened the door for you to paint your picture the way you want and engage them. Just a word of caution: don’t get too cutesy, it will have the reverse effect. If you assign a title that is so outrageous or cutesy people will assign it no value and not care to ask what that means.
It is not a matter of time
I am not a big fan of the two minute rule. Coming up with two minutes to describe yourself equates to me two mind numbing minutes that I will never recover. Do you realize most people stop listening after about 15 seconds, if you are lucky?
I love going to networking events where everyone has a very lovely, down pat 2 minute speech and when it is my turn I use all of five seconds. The looks on the faces is awesome.
Short and sweet. If you blurt out everything in two minutes what have you possibly left for them to ask you? You have told them everything. They will probably smile and nod politely and might even add a non-committal remark like “that’s nice”. Conversation is one way and over.
Turn it around
Engage them, evoke a feeling, connect with a problem, use humor – be human! You want to build relationships and that means connecting on some level.
An excellent way to engage another person is to make it about them. Once you give your value – and they ask you a question – turn it on them. Use them as an example, ask them a question to frame your response in a way that is meaningful to them.
When asked to expand, someone in sales (ick – I know) may ask, “do you have enough clients?” Other options could be starting a question with: do you find, have you ever, what is X like (some component of their business), what is your biggest frustration with, don’t you hate when and so on.
I have two segments of clients that I work with: those looking to move in, on or up in their careers and those in some form of sales. I cannot assess which category a person is in by looking at them, or even hearing their title. Someone may be in sales and be secretly looking to change jobs, industries or careers.
After receiving a question to my introduction, I might say, “let me use you for an example; if you love your job but are still struggling with building a solid book of business this is how I would help.” Then end with “…and if you hate your job, I am there to help you find and get the one you love.”
I say might because I do not have a down-pat response. I have a good idea of what I want to say but never memorize it. I want it to be fresh, relevant and real to the person I am talking to, therefore I vary it every time.
Now in following these tips, you might just find that you are the center of attention in the conversation. That’s nice, but do not let it continue. Bring it back to them. Ask them questions about what they said, what they like about what they do, about their clients, markets, industry or company. Give them genuine attention.
One of my favorite quotes is by John Wooden, “Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.”
Your title is your reputation, your value is your character.
Lisa K. McDonald, CPRW
Brand Strategist & Career Coach
Certified Professional Resume Writer