S2EP79. How to deal with the overwhelm of going back to the pre-covid life
Hey, you guys welcome back to the arts towards forcast I’m your host charraka and today you’re joining me in a Monday solo episode. So if you’re a new listener welcome to this side of the world where I am your host I’m an artist a designer podcaster. To be auto hopefully and most importantly, a appreciate I’m also the found of art 2 huds project and I really want to say a big thank you for joining us I hope you continue being in this journey with me. We have lots to share lots to learn and. Just want to say a big welcome and my dear if you’re a like regular listener. You absolutely are the reason why I’m sitting here right now I just want to say a bit. Thank you for your support. So so much you can’t I just can’t even tell you how much that means to me and. Just wanted to also talk about how we crossed our 10 k milestone right now which is quite quite exciting I really have been enjoying my time with all of you and it’s been such such a beautiful journey. And I’ve shared with you and I hope I can do this for forever I mean as long as I can but I just want to say? Thank you so much for your support just meet all it is possible. You spend hours in your of your precious time with me and I just I want to say a big big. Thank you from my heart. I hope we’ll continue in this journey together. Okay.
So just a quick update about what’s been happening here with me. So for the years so for me the years started well but in between I lost my sweat I don’t know I’ve been feeling du really overwhelmed with everything around me. I don’t know how suddenly that feeling came in if I was too burned out I don’t know I just I just know that this has happened and I’ve been dealing with it for about some time I can’t say it’s past, but it’s dead it’s dead and I have nothing else to. Yeah, the shift of even going back to the pre covid life. You know that’s been a already big contributing impact that it this over and if you ask me, you know i’ I’ve really been avoiding a lot of decisions I have to make now and honestly I don’t even know what I want to decide and what I want. And all of that has really weighed me down quite a bit I did took a pause I also didn’t show up for few solo episodes I’ve been taking a lot of things very slowly I believe me how slow I mean terribly slow and it’s been painful I mean then you love your work so much. Put so much effort and your heart and soil it it pains but I knew that in no in no way I could take this on with me I had to slow down I had to cut down and I’ve been doing that. Um, since I’ve also been traveling so much to Delhi and Argan you know. Been here a couple of days in the week and dead and you know it’s just been so hard for me I in I don’t know I mean I I am a person of stability I like to have structures and right now nothing in my life I feel has that. Yeah I mean it’s been a learning curve I’m getting like you know I hate living out the suitcases I hate packing I hate un packing especially soft qui you know, but that’s what life has taught me like even if I hated I need to do it with this know I need to do it so that’s what I’ve been doing. Okay. So um, also um, let me to tell you the weather in here like in in nagardali the northern bio of India is been has been like terrible yesterday we had like the hottest day equal in half a century is just insane. It was so hot the weather has like been so unkind right now and we have just stepped into the someones like it’s not even the peak of someone. So yeah I mean that’s that’s ah ah a weather like this is definitely not a.
Wonderful hat on um, most of all I’ve been like you know feeling this sinking feeling honestly also because my mom’s first that anniversary is approaching and also we will be celebrating I mean. Will be I don’t know what to say I mean her first birthday without her being here is coming on sixteenth of April then her first death annivers 3 is on fifth of may also all of this time then you know we we are living right now the same time exactly last year everything started around 8 of April and I just feel that heaven is in me with this dying and it feels like all of those feelings are coming back I feel that headiness and it’s just been quite overwhelming if I if if I be honest, like you know. Um, to the thought of you know how time like 1 year has known by but also like how every single second has felt so hard so slow and I just don’t know I’m this is such such a hard feeling to even. Plain but I know that this sadness has been in me for so long and now with all of those days coming back? Um I just feel that every day even more. So yeah and that’s that’s as honest I can get. What’s been happening with me. Not so great things. But I know um I know things will pass I know I have um I slowed down even before but I’m not I’m not giving up I know how to get you this I just. So this boxes soon because honestly, it’s it’s it’s a little hard to say but yes I I am really excited to hear from you guys I hope you guys I haven’t the good time and since my listeners are based. Um, all over the world I would love to know what’s happening at your and please tell me timeing your stories know what How’s the weather treating you do you have like a um rain or snow or something beautiful if that’s with you please please time me your stories because I’d love. Love to see that and I’m sorry to me and also I get to connect with you and you know that’s really important to me tell me how you’re dealing with you know, getting back to people with life I know that’s been something really on my mind been something. That’s takinging a lot of space in my life right now.
Are you even going back to pe live I know that’s like this is not and a straight answer because we’re all in very different situations I know and know things look differently for all of us. But I would love to know how things are for you. What’s happening. Um, what are your thoughts on you know how this this going back to the life. We came from what bits you’re liking. Is it all so well men you honestly because for me, it’s a definite. Yes, yeah. You know I also really love my little cocoon I built for myself in the past two years during this covid phase maybe role connected like virtually but not physically and I kind of really like that hundred percent being honest, you know and. Feel like now things have shaken and I remember telling this to my my boy that um, I’m really scared of like once things open up because you know before that it was not only mean my own cooonon. We all had made this cocoon for ourselves this. If that we felt safe where we were working from living some like mentally physically poor actually and we were all satisfied in a way because we were not a part of of rat race I feel like um now with the things resuming as much as i. Like my own cooon I also know a lot things are moving and I need to now really ask myself is how do I want to know and do I still want to like do I care if I stay in my cooonon and think keep moving do I feed behind. You know, a lot of these feelings can have be 100 % honest this is what I feel I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. But that’s what I’ve been feeling but honestly for me what I have really come to know is that I do want to continue have like have this cooon for myself. But. Probably for me I feel. It’s important to keep going in and out that’s a tricky balance Stephen how you know how fiile I am and with these things because I kept really really severed with things and I just I feel like I need to get better at this. And you know I need to ask myself some really difficult questions because that’s how I will know what I really want and then rebuild accordingly to that. But I’ve known that I’m going to carry forward this cooon that I’ve built with within these two years for myself that I feel very safe that’s brought so many good things from me.
In spite of the bad things that have been happening. So yeah, I’m also glad that I have my podcast I have you guys to share my journey with my thoughts with even like the weird ones the hard ones I truly believe that if I am open to sharing I should be. Only sharing the good path only to be honest for me even for my own sanity I need to be honest on sharing and you know sharing just you know, just not the bright and beautifulry but also the eggs in the flow like you know the imperfections the things in between and. That’s what I’ve always always tried to do and you know as we’re all dealing in making these new adjustments to you know the so-called going back to and another normal life I don’t even know what that means but I can feel that shift I know that shift shift is happening. And here I thought I will share a few of my own thoughts with you before I go so hear me out but I have to say I hope it helps you if nothing I just want to say this for anyone who’s also struggling like I am and I hope you resonate with my thoughts Athan. But if you don’t feel free to tell me about them e always? Okay so my first first thought is you know it’s easy to get loss in the lives people want us to live and I think that’s been something that really like I felt like when things were opening up. We had to go back to those like. Those things that we were doing before especially for my own context like I may have not liked all the things that I would I was doing but I was doing and I feel like that also came from the expectation of I had to be a part of social certain things because of social pressure of what people expected out of me and you know all of those things. But. Now I have like made this like rule that I need to keep asking myself what truly matters to me and you can keep asking yourself the same question. What is that pure only matters to you? What is the vision you have for your life. What is that lifts you up. These questions really have given me like a vision of what I really found special in the past few months I I really have to take a few decisions I’m been asking myself this question over and over again. What is that I want what is that? um my my life needs to look like for me for me to be excited. And what is my big goal. What is my long term and then I’ve used these feelings as a guide to help me navigate these Muddy waters. It’s never a straight answer. But then I you know if I get like a what I really do is then I don’t get an answer I stretch where I am now.
And when I start feeling uneasy in my current situation I know that’s it’s time for me to experiment and do something new and different and if I have a clear vision then that’s a good sign I need to take that loop of faith and I’ve been really doing this for honestly and I know it’s not so easy. But I also truly believe in my heart that um, we all all deserve to build a life that we that really lifts us. Ah and I know that it takes courage and I know we all caught this with an us and you know we’ll do this even as it’s hard even if takes some time we will okay. Another thing that I’ve been really thinking about a lot um with this shift happening is about connections and not only connections to um, other people but also to the connection to our own selves. Um, in the past two years a lot of us have. Able to build a very strong connection with our own self I know I have been and also we build connections that that felt very similar like something that we always wanted because we were no longer dependent on people just around us. We would open. We were all virtual. And you know, um, this is something that I’ve been thinking a lot about because I know I wouldn’t have gone through this without a lot of these people that I call my friends now I I wouldn’t have gone through this time if I wouldn’t have friended so well to my own self and. Know that I want and I’m going to track my hundred percent to you know nurture these relationships with people that I love now and with my own self because you know I just hate running on that hamster wheel where we forget. Things around us and we lose the point of a lot of things and I want to make sure that I keep that focus on these these relationships and my own relationship with mass out that is very very important and just before I go now something. I can do leave like really and really, um.
Okay, something that is really hard for me is the idea of taking forward of what’s really worked for me in the past two years okay so before I go. There’s one last thought I want to share which is about you know it’s important for us. Going forward but also important for us to keep picking forward. What has worked now I’ve been thinking about everything that I really liked about in these past two years and what is that I want to keep continue doing and. What are the things that either I have you know I’ve had with enough of and I know I need to move forward and or something I need to change the point being. It’s a tricky balance between being open to experiences and knowing what works for you and I feel like it’s important to. Continue challenging our comfort zones in a healthy way. Not just shake yourself up. But you know, ask yourself if this is something that you really like really want to us something that we’re trying to keep yourself small or you’re stagnant. And because it’s just so much comforting for you that you’re don’t want to go out of that one. This is also a tricky one but I also feel it’s such an essential one because um, this is the one that really helps you draw. Where you know what early works for you. But also you’re open to experimentation open to new ideas. New possibilities. It’s a big fun. So these are my thoughts that’s all from me for this episode but you’ll also hear from me this Thursday which is an amazing episode with. Amazing illustrator print designer apartment designer from indian and Allaba we have such a fun conversation with her. Um, she released shared some great insights about how artists designers are interested in. Licensing and how they can create their own prints and you know just deep dive into the world of just creating art and working with brands and collaborations. She was such such a treat to talk to and um. Stay tuned for this episode. It’s going to come on this Thursday and I also want to take this moment to also share about our solo shoot open call. This is an international open call for all women artists. We’re calling painters collage makerslink makes like.
Anyone who has a strong body of work who wants to wants to you know, host virtual shoulder so wants to host a solo virtual show and then this is for you I mean we’re looking for people who have a good solid body of work. Can make a strong cohesive so they show and the deadline for submission is twenty fifth of April which is very very soon if this is you I highly suggest you take a look and submit to the application. There is a submission fee. And if that’s okay with you I recommend you taking a look on our website on Ww but http://aswatsproject.com/submit you find all the details there and yes I really hope you enjoyed this episode I hope you resonated with my thoughts in that meanwhile I will come back. Very soon in that process. Don’t forget to share your thoughts with me if you like this episode if you like the podcast I really do press you to just you know leave so review anywhere you listen to this podcast because it surely really helps. Wrote this to reach more people and you know also it feels it feels real I know a lot of things we do digitally um, unless we don’t hear back from you. It doesn’t we don’t know what? what? What we’re doing what the difference is making so please leave us with you I will. Grateful. We’ll give you shoutouts with share. We’ll connect and we’ll bond and I hope I you back soon again in the meantime have a have a great day have a great week and I’ll see you soon again. Yeah bye.