October 24, 2013 / Was I Rejected? 6 Signs
Getting outright rejected is rare: Here are 6 signs you were probably rejected.
Unfortunately, being rejected is a part of life. It also doesn’t feel great. However, that is a necessary evil which I wrote about here. With that said, in dating, a lot of interactions are likely to land in a so called "grey area" where you may simply not know if you got rejected or not. How can you tell?
The general rejection rule
The general rule when it comes to rejection is: If you think you may have been rejected, you probably were rejected. This is the sad reality of dating. Rejecting someone directly is a rather awkward thing to do which is why most rejections are subtle or more of a failure to return contact than a flat out rejection. Since you naturally do not want to get rejected, it is quite easy to mistake the signs of rejection for something else. It is natural to try to come up with the alternative explanation that more closely aligns with the outcome you desire. However, the reality is, that’s not usually the case when it comes to dating.
6 Signs You Have Been Rejected
1. She doesn’t return your calls or texts
If you texted her or called her, she got it. She didn’t "accidentally delete it", or somehow forget about it. She got your text, and chose not to respond. If a woman wants to hang out, generally speaking, she will respond to any contact you make. If she doesn’t respond, she is likely not interested. Note, give her time. Just because she doesn’t respond to a text within 5 minutes or even a couple hours doesn’t mean anything yet. But if it’s been a day or so, don’t get your hopes up.
2. She cancels plans and doesn’t offer up an alternative
A very common approach women use to slowly disengage is to cancel plans and then not offer up another time or ask for a raincheck etc.. In general, in these situations it is worth proposing another time and place, but again, don’t get your hopes up because often times this is a rejection.
3. She cancels twice in a row
Even if she offers up an alternative time, canceling twice in a row is usually a bad sign for your prospects with this particular woman. I can’t emphasize enough that women feel very uncomfortable to directly say they are not interested in you, so they will go out of their way to avoid that and try indirect ways of getting you to "give up".
4. Saying they will contact you but not contacting
Just because a woman says she will contact you doesn’t mean she will do so. If she doesn’t, you can be pretty certain you have been rejected. As usual, it doesn’t really hurt to make contact again, but if a woman is interested and said she would contact you, she usually does.
5. She says she will be busy for a long period of time
One other tactic that women like to use to reject you is setting up a long time gap. You ask a girl out and she says: "Sure, only thing is I am really busy the next couple weeks." If you get that answer, it’s more or less a no. There are some exceptions, but in general, assume that a "I’m only free in a few weeks" means "I’m not interested"
6. She proposes a meeting as friends
This last one is tricky because there are many situations where: "but just as friends" can quickly be turned into something romantic. The most common situation where "but just as friends" can turn into more is on a first date or if it is a woman you have already slept with. However, in other scenarios, this is almost always a rejection. There isn’t always huge downside to go on the "as friends date" anyway, but the odds of anything romantic if it isn’t the first date or a woman you have already slept with is very slim.
The 6 reasons above are the most common ways I have seen men get rejected. There are many more subtle ways women try to get you to "give up" without outright rejecting you. Often times, it doesn’t hurt to try, but don’t get your hopes up and remember the general: "If you think you may have been rejected, you probably were rejected".
Don’t want her to reject you? Improve your game: read our 3 C’s of Pickup series.