... and it's not like i haven't heard it before, it's just that this time it seems to hurt harder and sting faster because now, nicky-

AH0-N D-IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-L-AY1 K-AY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N-T HH-ER1 D-IH1-T B-IH0 F-AO1 R-IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T DH-AE1-T DH-IH1-S T-AY1 M-IH1-T S-IY1-M-Z T-UW1 HH-ER1-T HH-AA1-R D-ER0 AH0-N-D-S T-IH1-NG F-AE1-S T-ER0 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-N-AW1 N-IH1 K-IY0


...this isn't a real job. so i walk away.

DH-IH1 S-IH1 S-AH0-N T-AH0 R-IY1-L JH-AA1-B S-OW1 AY1 W-AO1 K-AH0 W-EY1


i swallow my reply, not thinking about the three hours-

AY1 S-W-AA1 L-OW0 M-AY1 R-IH0 P-L-AY1 N-AA1-T TH-IH1-NG K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 TH-R-IY1 AW1 ER0-Z


...friends canceled on. to finish work that couldn't wait. every funding application scrawled across and the-

F-R-EH1-N-D-Z K-AE1-N S-AH0-L D-AA1-N T-UW1 F-IH1 N-IH0 SH-W-ER1-K DH-AE1-T K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-W-EY1 T-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 F-AH1-N D-IH0 NG-AE2 P-L-AH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0-N-S K-R-AO1-L D-AH0 K-R-AO1 S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0


...unfortunately replies. the clock at midnight, when we've still not got something we can agree is right. all the bags under our eyes, when i say, let's just go through this one more time. all the days disappeared into nights trying to learn it line for line and all of that.

AH0-N F-AO1-R CH-AH0 N-AH0 T-L-IY0 R-IH0 P-L-AY1-Z DH-AH0 K-L-AA1 K-AE1 T-M-IH1 D-N-AY2 T-W-EH1 N-W-IY1-V-S T-IH1-L N-AA1-T G-AA1-T S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-W-IY1 K-AE1 N-AH0 G-R-IY1 IH1 Z-R-AY1 T-AO1-L DH-AH0 B-AE1-G Z-AH1-N D-ER0 AW1 ER0 AY1 Z-W-EH1 N-AY1 S-EY1 L-EH1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T G-OW1 TH-R-UW1 DH-IH1 S-W-AH1-N M-AO1-R T-AY1 M-AO1-L DH-AH0 D-EY1-Z D-IH2 S-AH0 P-IH1-R D-IH0-N T-UW1 N-AY1-T-S T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 L-ER1 N-IH1 T-L-AY1-N F-AO1-R L-AY1 N-AH0-N D-AO1 L-AH1-V DH-AE1-T


for [nikki morgan 00:00:12] to tell me the choices i have made will hold me back for the rest of my life.

F-AO1-R N-IH1 K-IY0 M-AO1-R G-AH0-N Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z Z-IH1 R-OW0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D T-W-EH1-L-V S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z T-UW1 T-EH1-L M-IY1 DH-AH0 CH-OY1 S-AH0 Z-AY1 HH-AE1 V-M-EY1 D-W-IH1-L HH-OW1-L D-M-IY1 B-AE1-K F-AO1-R DH-AH0 R-EH1-S T-AH1 V-M-AY1 L-AY1-F


promote science, please do, and maths and technology and engineering.

P-R-AH0 M-OW1-T S-AY1 AH0-N-S P-L-IY1-Z D-UW1 AH0-N D-M-AE1-TH S-AH0-N-D T-EH0 K-N-AA1 L-AH0 JH-IY0 AH0-N D-EH1-N JH-AH0 N-IH1 R-IH0-NG


they're important and have their own issues, but in the rare position that you hold where young people might actually listen to you, don't write off [inaudible 00:00:30] as something so crucial to our day-

TH-EH1 R-IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N T-AH0-N-D HH-AE1-V DH-EH1 R-OW1 N-IH1 SH-UW0-Z B-AH1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 R-EH1-R P-AH0 Z-IH1 SH-AH0-N DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 HH-OW1-L D-W-EH1 R-Y-AH1-NG P-IY1 P-AH0-L M-AY1 T-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 L-IH1 S-AH0-N T-UW1 Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-R-AY1 T-AO1 F-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z Z-IH1 R-OW0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-AE1-Z S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG S-OW1 K-R-UW1 SH-AH0-L T-UW1 AW1 ER0 D-EY1


...to day. don't insult the teachers alongside the facts and the figures, teacher's stories and the sounds and the pictures and the message. do something you-

T-UW1 D-EY1 D-AA1-N T-IH1-N S-AH2-L-T DH-AH0 T-IY1 CH-ER0 Z-AH0 L-AO1-NG S-AY1-D DH-AH0 F-AE1-K-T S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 F-IH1 G-Y-ER0-Z T-IY1 CH-ER0-Z-S T-AO1 R-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-AW1-N-D Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 P-IH1-K CH-ER0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 M-EH1 S-AH0-JH D-UW1 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-Y-UW1


... love and work hard at it, whatever it is. don't make some broad brush statement about arts and humanities limiting somebody's life choices.

L-AH1 V-AH0-N D-W-ER1-K HH-AA1-R D-AE1 T-IH1 T-W-AH2 T-EH1 V-ER0 IH1 T-IH1-Z D-AA1-N T-M-EY1-K S-AH1-M B-R-AO1-D B-R-AH1-SH-S T-EY1 T-M-AH0-N T-AH0 B-AW1 T-AA1-R-T S-AH0-N-D HH-Y-UW0 M-AE1 N-IH0 T-IY0 Z-L-IH1 M-AH0 T-IH0-NG S-AH1-M B-AA2 D-IY0 Z-L-AY1-F CH-OY1 S-AH0-Z


because you're the mother of the girl at my school who said, "don't go to university and study creative writing."

B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-Y-UH1-R DH-AH0 M-AH1 DH-ER0 AH1-V DH-AH0 G-ER1 L-AE1 T-M-AY1-S K-UW1-L HH-UW1 S-EH1-D D-AA1-N-T G-OW1 T-UW1 Y-UW2 N-AH0 V-ER1 S-AH0 T-IY0 AH0-N-D-S T-AH1 D-IY0 K-R-IY0 EY1 T-IH0 V-R-AY1 T-IH0-NG


"nobody makes a living from being a writer. you'll end up in some dead end job wishing you'd done maths." so she did maths, and she was good at it. and she became an accountant. and i saw her on a train last tuesday. and she says-

N-OW1 B-AA2 D-IY2 M-EY1-K S-AH0 L-IH1 V-IH0-NG F-R-AH1-M B-IY1 IH0 NG-AH0 R-AY1 T-ER0 Y-UW1 L-EH1-N D-AH1 P-IH0-N S-AH1-M D-EH1 D-EH1-N-D JH-AA1 B-W-IH1 SH-IH0 NG-Y-AH1-D D-AH1-N M-AE1-TH-S S-OW1 SH-IY1 D-IH1 D-M-AE1-TH S-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z G-UH1 D-AE1 T-IH1 T-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 B-IH0 K-EY1 M-AE1 N-AH0 K-AW1-N T-AH0-N T-AH0-N D-AY1 S-AO1 HH-ER0 AA1 N-AH0 T-R-EY1 N-L-AE1-S-T T-UW1-Z D-IY0 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 S-EH1-Z


... she earns 60 grand a year and wakes up most days fighting the urge to top herself.

SH-IY1 ER1-N-Z S-IH1-K-S T-IY0 G-R-AE1-N D-AH0 Y-IH1 R-AH0-N D-W-EY1-K S-AH1 P-M-OW1-S-T D-EY1-Z F-AY1 T-IH0-NG DH-AH0 ER1-JH T-UW1 T-AA1-P HH-ER0 S-EH1-L-F


she says, "well, it's a nice hobby, isn't it? but is that really how you want to spend your spare time, getting up at 05:00 just to write?" anyway-

SH-IY1 S-EH1 Z-W-EH1 L-IH1-T S-AH0 N-AY1-S HH-AA1 B-IY0 IH1 S-AH0-N T-IH1-T B-AH1 T-IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 HH-AW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1-S P-EH1-N D-Y-AO1-R-S P-EH1-R T-AY1-M G-EH1 T-IH0 NG-AH1 P-AE1-T F-AY1 V-AH0 K-L-AA1-K JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 R-AY1 T-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


... you make it sound like something dirty, to be done in garages and attic-

Y-UW1 M-EY1 K-IH1-T S-AW1-N D-L-AY1-K S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG D-ER1 T-IY0 T-UW1 B-IY1 D-AH1 N-IH0-N G-ER0 AA1 ZH-IH0 Z-AH0-N D-AE1 T-IH0-K


... rooms, the occasional run down, funding starved library, not something that-

R-UW1-M-Z DH-AH0 AH0 K-EY1 ZH-AH0 N-AH0-L R-AH1-N D-AW1-N F-AH1-N D-IH0-NG-S T-AA1-R-V D-L-AY1 B-R-EH2 R-IY0 N-AA1-T S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG DH-AE1-T


... through history. from the fingerprint molded shapes in the walls of caves to the plays that brought culture to the day-

TH-R-UW1 HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 F-IH1-NG G-ER0 P-R-IH2-N T-M-OW1-L D-AH0-D SH-EY1-P S-IH0-N DH-AH0 W-AO1-L Z-AH1-V K-EY1-V-Z T-UW1 DH-AH0 P-L-EY1-Z DH-AE1-T B-R-AO1-T K-AH1-L CH-ER0 T-UW1 DH-AH0 D-EY1


... to day peasant and drunkard in the theater pits. every fear and anger fueled war poet, from charge to the light brigade to seek

T-UW1 D-EY1 P-EH1 Z-AH0-N T-AH0-N-D D-R-AH1-NG K-ER0 D-IH0-N DH-AH0 TH-IY1 AH0 T-ER0 P-IH1-T S-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 F-IH1 R-AH0-N D-AE1-NG G-ER0 F-Y-UW1 AH0-L D-W-AO1-R P-OW1 AH0-T F-R-AH1-M CH-AA1-R-JH T-UW1 DH-AH0 L-AY1-T B-R-AH0 G-EY1-D T-UW1 S-IY1-K


[inaudible 00:01:37], how else would we have taught world war one in the days before youtube. the teenage girl terrified in a german attic room and every child who had empathy from a book that teaches strength and courage against the worst-

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-W-AH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 S-EH1 V-AH0-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z HH-AW1 EH1-L S-W-UH1 D-W-IY1 HH-AE1-V T-AO1 T-W-ER1-L D-W-AO1 R-W-AH1 N-IH0-N DH-AH0 D-EY1-Z B-IH0 F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 T-UW2-B DH-AH0 T-IY1 N-EY2-JH G-ER1-L T-EH1 R-AH0 F-AY2 D-IH0 N-AH0 JH-ER1 M-AH0 N-AE1 T-IH0 K-R-UW1 M-AH0-N D-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 CH-AY1-L-D HH-UW1 HH-AE1 D-EH1-M P-AH0 TH-IY0 F-R-AH1 M-AH0 B-UH1-K DH-AE1-T T-IY1 CH-AH0-Z-S T-R-EH1-NG-K TH-AH0-N-D K-ER1 AH0 JH-AH0 G-EH1-N-S-T DH-AH0 W-ER1-S-T


... of enemies. the poem that attacked a stuck up, out of touch politician, and the pints raised in recognition at the stories told by-

AH1 V-EH1 N-AH0 M-IY0-Z DH-AH0 P-OW1 AH0-M DH-AE1 T-AH0 T-AE1-K T-AH0-S T-AH1 K-AH1 P-AW1 T-AH1-V T-AH1-CH P-AA2 L-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 P-AY1-N-T S-R-EY1-Z D-IH0 N-R-EH2 K-AH0 G-N-IH1 SH-AH0 N-AE1-T DH-AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0-Z T-OW1-L-D B-AY1


... folk musicians. the boy wrapped up in autism who struggles to communicate through emotion-

F-OW1 K-M-Y-UW0 Z-IH1 SH-AH0-N-Z DH-AH0 B-OY1 R-AE1-P T-AH1 P-IH0 N-AO1 T-IH2 Z-AH0-M HH-UW1-S T-R-AH1 G-AH0-L-Z T-UW1 K-AH0 M-Y-UW1 N-AH0 K-EY2-T TH-R-UW1 IH0 M-OW1 SH-AH0-N


... but can tell you how he feels, the color and sound. or the refugee too scared-

B-AH1-T K-AE1-N T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 HH-AW1 HH-IY1 F-IY1-L-Z DH-AH0 K-AH1 L-ER0 AH0-N-D S-AW1-N D-AO1-R DH-AH0 R-EH1 F-Y-UW0 JH-IY0 T-UW1-S K-EH1-R-D


... to speak who finds words on the lips of hip hop artists, begins writing her own lyrics and discovers what her-

T-UW1-S P-IY1-K HH-UW1 F-AY1-N-D Z-W-ER1-D Z-AA1-N DH-AH0 L-IH1-P S-AH1-V HH-IH1-P HH-AA1 P-AA1-R T-AH0-S-T-S B-IH0 G-IH1-N Z-R-AY1 T-IH0-NG HH-ER0 OW1 N-L-IH1 R-IH0-K S-AH0-N-D D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0 Z-W-AH1-T HH-ER0


belittle this. by all means, stand at your lectern, and spout the opinions you think will when you votes like they-

B-IH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L DH-IH1-S B-AY1 AO1-L M-IY1-N-Z-S T-AE1-N D-AE1 T-Y-AO1-R L-EH1-K T-ER0 N-AH0-N-D-S P-AW1-T DH-AH0 AH0 P-IH1 N-Y-AH0-N Z-Y-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-W-IH1 L-W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 V-OW1-T S-L-AY1-K DH-EY1


... all do. but don't fear monger, and don't-

AO1-L D-UW1 B-AH1-T D-AA1-N-T F-IH1-R M-AH1-NG G-ER0 AH0-N-D D-AA1-N-T


... guilt trip. don't tell the 14 year old with a form to fill in that if you love what-

G-IH1-L-T T-R-IH1-P D-AA1-N-T T-EH1-L DH-AH0 F-AO1-R T-IY1 N-Y-IH1 R-OW1-L D-W-IH1 DH-AH0 F-AO1-R-M T-UW1 F-IH1 L-IH0-N DH-AE1 T-IH1 F-Y-UW1 L-AH1 V-W-AH1-T


... you do, there was ever any reason to stop.

Y-UW1 D-UW1 DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-EH1 V-ER0 EH1 N-IY0 R-IY1 Z-AH0-N T-UW1-S T-AA1-P


... more piece. i forgot that when dave asked me to do this gig, i promised to bring my whole-

M-AO1-R P-IY1 S-AY1 F-ER0 G-AA1-T DH-AE1 T-W-EH1-N D-EY1 V-AE1-S-K T-M-IY1 T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-IH1-S G-IH1 G-AY1 P-R-AA1 M-AH0-S-T T-UW1 B-R-IH1-NG M-AY1 HH-OW1-L


... band along. and i just remembered now. and luckily, scott, who is my guitarist, did have-

B-AE1-N D-AH0 L-AO1 NG-AH0-N D-AY1 JH-AH1-S T-R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 D-N-AW1 AH0-N D-L-AH1 K-AH0 L-IY0-S K-AA1-T HH-UW1 IH1 Z-M-AY1 G-IH2 T-AA1 R-AH0-S-T D-IH1-D HH-AE1-V


... his guitar. so we're going to do quite a sort of stripped back version of one of the pieces from-

HH-IH1-Z G-IH0 T-AA1-R S-OW1 W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 K-W-AY1 T-AH0 S-AO1-R T-AH1-V-S T-R-IH1-P-T B-AE1-K V-ER1 ZH-AH0 N-AH1 V-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 P-IY1 S-AH0-Z F-R-AH1-M


how much she hates sports. she just wants to play the violin and that's fine. because-

HH-AW1 M-AH1-CH SH-IY1 HH-EY1-T-S-S P-AO1-R-T-S SH-IY1 JH-AH1-S T-W-AA1-N-T-S T-UW1 P-L-EY1 DH-AH0 V-AY0 AH0 L-IH1 N-AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T-S F-AY1-N B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


"yeah," he says, "imagine it. the heat, the girls-"

Y-AE1 HH-IY1 S-EH1 Z-IH0 M-AE1 JH-AH0 N-IH1-T DH-AH0 HH-IY1-T DH-AH0 G-ER1-L-Z


they are whooping coughing, whistling, high-fiving, and this goes on for minutes.

DH-EY1 AA1 R-W-UW1 P-IH0-NG K-AA1 F-IH0 NG-W-IH1 S-L-IH0-NG HH-AY1 F-IH0 V-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D DH-IH1-S G-OW1 Z-AA1-N F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T-S


... card, and his female supervisor is laughing along, catching every word. and the boy, he has completely forgotten-

K-AA1-R D-AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z F-IY1 M-EY2-L S-UW1 P-ER0 V-AY2 Z-ER0 IH1 Z-L-AE1 F-IH0 NG-AH0 L-AO1-NG K-AE1 CH-IH0 NG-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 W-ER1 D-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 B-OY1 HH-IY1 HH-AE1-Z K-AH0-M P-L-IY1 T-L-IY0 F-ER0 G-AA1 T-AH0-N


... but there's nothing but silence in your mouth. and i want to shout, "i am sorry."

B-AH1-T DH-EH1-R Z-N-AH1 TH-IH0-NG B-AH1-T S-AY1 L-AH0-N S-IH0 N-Y-AO1-R M-AW1 DH-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 SH-AW1 T-AY1 AE1-M S-AA1 R-IY0


she has stopped and looked around and now she is looking down saying, "well, i-

SH-IY1 HH-AE1-Z-S T-AA1-P T-AH0-N D-L-UH1-K T-ER0 AW1-N D-AH0-N D-N-AW1 SH-IY1 IH1 Z-L-UH1 K-IH0-NG D-AW1-N S-EY1 IH0 NG-W-EH1 L-AY1


that was a great show. i also love it.

DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 G-R-EY1-T SH-OW1 AY1 AO1-L S-OW0 L-AH1 V-IH1-T


next one?yeah.my next pick, scottish harp player. again, another performer-

N-EH1-K-S T-W-AH1 N-IY0 AH0 M-IY0 N-EH1-K-S-T P-IH1-K-S K-AA1 T-IH0-SH HH-AA1-R-P P-L-EY1 ER0 AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0


been great. managed to get her twice at edinburgh. we didn't manage to get her this year. so my next pick, it's an act that we met in edinburgh this-

B-IH1-N G-R-EY1 T-M-AE1 N-AH0-JH-D T-UW1 G-EH1-T HH-ER0 T-W-AY1 S-AE1 T-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 W-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-M-AE1 N-AH0-JH T-UW1 G-EH1-T HH-ER0 DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1-R S-OW1 M-AY1 N-EH1-K-S-T P-IH1 K-IH1-T S-AE1 N-AE1-K-T DH-AE1 T-W-IY1 M-EH1 T-IH0 N-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 DH-IH1-S


later, you invited me for tea-

L-EY1 T-ER0 Y-UW1 IH0-N V-AY1 T-AH0 D-M-IY1 F-AO1-R T-IY1


... sat there quite politely with your extended family.

S-AE1-T DH-EH1-R K-W-AY1-T P-AH0 L-AY1 T-L-IY0 W-IH1 DH-Y-AO1 R-IH0-K-S T-EH1-N D-AH0-D F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0


maybe i'll pick up some moomin fans. i salute you now as leader of the new religion.

M-EY1 B-IY0 IH1-L P-IH1 K-AH1-P S-AH1-M M-UW1 M-IH0-N F-AE1-N Z-AY1 S-AH0 L-UW1 T-Y-UW1 N-AW1 AE1 Z-L-IY1 D-ER0 AH1-V DH-AH0 N-UW1 R-IH0 L-IH1 JH-AH0-N


it turns out there aren't just some moomin fans, there are moomin fans-

IH1-T T-ER1-N Z-AW1-T DH-EH1 R-AA1 R-AH0-N-T JH-AH1-S-T S-AH1-M M-UW1 M-IH0-N F-AE1-N-Z DH-EH1 R-AA1-R M-UW1 M-IH0-N F-AE1-N-Z


... that turn up 20 minutes early and sit. and i got pulled up-

DH-AE1-T T-ER1 N-AH1-P T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-ER1 L-IY0 AH0-N-D S-IH1 T-AH0-N D-AY1 G-AA1-T P-UH1-L D-AH1-P


it's called the boy with the moomin tattoo. my tattoo is in fact of snufkin. and i had someone pull me up, go "that's not a moomin tattoo," and get really angry because-

IH1-T-S K-AO1-L-D DH-AH0 B-OY1 W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 M-UW1 M-IH0-N T-AE0 T-UW1 M-AY1 T-AE0 T-UW1 IH1 Z-IH0-N F-AE1-K T-AH1-V S-N-AH1-F K-IH0 N-AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1-D S-AH1 M-W-AH2-N P-UH1-L M-IY1 AH1-P G-OW1 TH-AE1-T S-N-AA1 T-AH0 M-UW1 M-IH0-N T-AE0 T-UW1 AH0-N-D G-EH1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 AE1-NG G-R-IY0 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


i had to go like, "i got it wrong and didn't come to see it." so, in the interest of this-

AY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 G-OW1 L-AY1 K-AY1 G-AA1 T-IH1 T-R-AO1 NG-AH0-N-D D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T K-AH1-M T-UW1 S-IY1 IH1-T S-OW1 IH0-N DH-AH0 IH1-N T-R-AH0-S T-AH1-V DH-IH1-S


i'm going to read to you from the sacred text itself, moominvalley in november.

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 R-EH1-D T-UW1 Y-UW1 F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 S-EY1 K-R-AH0-D T-EH1-K-S T-IH0-T S-EH1-L F-M-UW2 AH0 N-IH1 V-AH0 L-AH0 P-IY0 IH0-N N-OW0 V-EH1-M B-ER0


this is the most depressing thing you will ever read if you haven't ever been given to read as an eight year old. no, really. no, you don't know what's coming.

DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 M-OW1-S-T D-IH0 P-R-EH1 S-IH0-NG TH-IH1 NG-Y-UW1 W-IH1 L-EH1 V-ER0 R-EH1 D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N T-EH1 V-ER0 B-IH1-N G-IH1 V-AH0-N T-UW1 R-EH1 D-AE1 Z-AE1 N-EY1 T-Y-IH1 R-OW1-L D-N-OW1 R-IH1 L-IY0 N-OW1 Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 W-AH0-T-S K-AH1 M-IH0-NG


have people got tissues?no [inaudible 00:04:39]no, you're going to need them.

HH-AE1-V P-IY1 P-AH0-L G-AA1-T T-IY2 S-UW0 S-IY1 N-OW0 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 N-AY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-N-OW1 Y-UW1 AA1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 N-IY1-D DH-EH1-M


we've got tissues [inaudible 00:04:43].chapter one.

W-IY1-V G-AA1-T T-IH1 S-Y-UW2 Z-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R T-IY0 TH-R-IY1 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z CH-AE1-P T-ER0 W-AH1-N


this is also dedicated, by the way... in fact, i'm quite sad because at the end of this week-

DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AO1-L S-OW0 D-EH1 D-AH0 K-EY0 T-AH0-D B-AY1 DH-AH0 W-EY1 IH0-N F-AE1-K T-IH1-M K-W-AY1-T S-AE1-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1-V DH-IH1 S-W-IY1-K


... we're all going to have to pack up and go home, right? we're all going to have to leave. it's the last week.

W-ER0 AO1-L G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 P-AE1 K-AH1 P-AH0-N-D G-OW1 HH-OW1 M-R-AY1 T-W-ER0 AO1-L G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 L-IY1 V-IH1-T-S DH-AH0 L-AE1-S T-W-IY1-K


early one morning in moominvalley, snufkin woke up in his tent with the feeling that autumn had come and that it was time to break camp.

ER1 L-IY0 W-AH1-N M-AO1-R N-IH0 NG-IH0-N M-UW2 AH0 N-IH1 V-AH0 L-AH0 P-IY0 S-N-AH1-F K-IH0 N-W-OW1 K-AH1 P-IH0-N HH-IH1-Z T-EH1-N T-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 F-IY1 L-IH0-NG DH-AE1 T-AO1 T-AH0-M HH-AE1-D K-AH1 M-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z T-AY1-M T-UW1 B-R-EY1-K K-AE1-M-P


breaking camp in this way comes with a hop, skip and a jump. all of a sudden everything is different. and if you're going to move on, you're careful to make use of every single minute. you-

B-R-EY1 K-IH0-NG K-AE1-M P-IH0-N DH-IH1 S-W-EY1 K-AH1-M Z-W-IH1 DH-AH0 HH-AA1-P-S K-IH1 P-AH0-N D-AH0 JH-AH1-M P-AO1 L-AH1 V-AH0 S-AH1 D-AH0 N-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-IH1-Z D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-AH0-N D-IH1 F-Y-UH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 M-UW1 V-AA1 N-Y-UH1-R K-EH1-R F-AH0-L T-UW1 M-EY1 K-Y-UW1 S-AH1 V-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 S-IH1-NG G-AH0-L M-IH1 N-AH0 T-Y-UW1


your camping site is an empty rectangle of bleached grass. later in the morning, your friends wake up and say-

Y-AO1-R K-AE1-M P-IH0-NG S-AY1 T-IH1 Z-AE1 N-EH1-M-P T-IY0 R-EH1-K T-AE0-NG G-AH0 L-AH1-V B-L-IY1-CH-T G-R-AE1 S-L-EY1 T-ER0 IH0-N DH-AH0 M-AO1-R N-IH0 NG-Y-AO1-R F-R-EH1-N-D Z-W-EY1 K-AH1 P-AH0-N-D S-EY1


"he's gone away. autumn's coming."

HH-IY1-Z G-AO1 N-AH0 W-EY1 AO1 T-AH0-M-Z K-AH1 M-IH0-NG


snufkin padded along calmly. the forest closed round him and it began to rain.

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0-N P-AE1 D-AH0 D-AH0 L-AO1-NG K-AA1 M-L-IY0 DH-AH0 F-AO1 R-AH0-S-T K-L-OW1-Z D-R-AW1-N-D HH-IH1 M-AH0-N D-IH1-T B-IH0 G-AE1-N T-UW1 R-EY1-N


the rain fell on his green hat and on his raincoat, which was also green.

DH-AH0 R-EY1-N F-EH1 L-AA1-N HH-IH1-Z G-R-IY1-N HH-AE1 T-AH0-N D-AA1-N HH-IH1 Z-R-EY1-N K-OW2 T-W-IH1 CH-W-AA1 Z-AO1-L S-OW0 G-R-IY1-N


it pittered and pattered everywhere, and the forest wrapped him in a gentle and exquisite loneliness.

IH1-T P-IH1 T-ER0 D-AH0-N-D P-AE1 T-ER0 D-EH1 V-R-IY0 W-EH2 R-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 F-AO1 R-AH0-S T-R-AE1-P-T HH-IH1 M-IH0 N-AH0 JH-EH1-N T-AH0 L-AH0-N D-EH1-K-S K-W-AH0 Z-AH0 T-L-OW1 N-L-IY0 N-AH0-S


there were many valleys along the coast.

DH-EH1 R-W-ER0 M-EH1 N-IY0 V-AE1 L-IY0 Z-AH0 L-AO1-NG DH-AH0 K-OW1-S-T


the mountains roll down to the sea in long stately curves to promontories and bays which cut deep into the wild country.

DH-AH0 M-AW1-N T-AH0-N Z-R-OW1-L D-AW1-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 S-IY1 IH0 N-L-AO1-NG-S T-EY1 T-L-IY0 K-ER1-V-Z T-UW1 P-R-AH0 M-AA1-N T-AH0 W-EH2 R-IY0 AH0-N-D B-EY1 Z-W-IH1-CH K-AH1-T D-IY1 P-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 W-AY1-L-D K-AH1-N T-R-IY0


in one of these valleys, a fillyjonk lived all by herself.

IH0 N-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-IY1-Z V-AE1 L-IY0 Z-AH0 F-IH1 L-Y-AH0-NG K-AA0 N-L-AY1-V D-AO1-L B-AY1 HH-ER0 S-EH1-L-F


snufkin had met many fillyjonks in his time and knew that they had to do things in their own way and according to their own silly rules.

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0-N HH-AE1 D-M-EH1 T-M-EH1 N-IY0 F-IH1 L-Y-AH0 K-AA2-N Z-IH0-N HH-IH1-Z T-AY1 M-AH0-N D-N-UW1 DH-AE1-T DH-EY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 D-UW1 TH-IH1-NG Z-IH0-N DH-EH1 R-OW1 N-W-EY1 AH0-N D-AH0 K-AO1-R D-IH0-NG T-UW1 DH-EH1 R-OW1-N S-IH1 L-IY0 R-UW1-L-Z


but he was never so quiet as when he went past the house of a fillyjonk.

B-AH1-T HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-N-EH1 V-ER0 S-OW1 K-W-AY1 AH0 T-AE1 Z-W-EH1-N HH-IY1 W-EH1-N-T P-AE1-S-T DH-AH0 HH-AW1 S-AH1 V-AH0 F-IH1 L-Y-AH0-NG K-AA0-N


the fence had straight and pointed posts and the gate was locked. the garden was quite empty.

DH-AH0 F-EH1-N-S HH-AE1-D-S T-R-EY1 T-AH0-N-D P-OY1-N T-AH0-D P-OW1-S-T S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 G-EY1 T-W-AA1 Z-L-AA1-K-T DH-AH0 G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-W-AA1-Z K-W-AY1 T-EH1-M-P T-IY0


the clothesline had been taken in, and the woodpile had gone.

DH-AH0 K-L-OW1-TH S-L-AY2-N HH-AE1-D B-IH1-N T-EY1 K-AH0 N-IH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 W-UH1-D P-AY0-L HH-AE1-D G-AO1-N


there was no hammock and no garden furniture.

DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-N-OW1 HH-AE1 M-AH0 K-AH0-N D-N-OW1 G-AA1-R D-AH0-N F-ER1 N-IH0 CH-ER0


there was none of the charming disorder that generally surrounds a house in summer-

DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-N-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 CH-AA1-R M-IH0-NG D-IH0 S-AO1-R D-ER0 DH-AE1-T JH-EH1 N-ER0 AH0 L-IY0 S-ER0 AW1-N-D Z-AH0 HH-AW1 S-IH0-N S-AH1 M-ER0


no rake, no bucket, no left behind hat-

N-OW1 R-EY1 K-N-OW1 B-AH1 K-AH0 T-N-OW1 L-EH1-F-T B-IH0 HH-AY1-N-D HH-AE1-T


... none of the other homely things that lie around waiting for the next day and make the house look welcoming and lived in.

N-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 HH-OW1 M-L-IY0 TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1 T-L-AY1 ER0 AW1-N D-W-EY1 T-IH0-NG F-AO1-R DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T D-EY1 AH0-N D-M-EY1-K DH-AH0 HH-AW1 S-L-UH1 K-W-EH1-L K-AH0 M-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-L-AY1-V D-IH0-N


fillyjonk knew that autumn had arrived, and she shut herself up inside. her house looked completely closed and deserted-

F-IH1 L-Y-AH0-NG K-AA0-N N-UW1 DH-AE1 T-AO1 T-AH0-M HH-AE1 D-ER0 AY1-V D-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 SH-AH1-T HH-ER0 S-EH1-L F-AH1 P-IH0-N S-AY1-D HH-ER0 HH-AW1 S-L-UH1-K-T K-AH0-M P-L-IY1 T-L-IY0 K-L-OW1-Z D-AH0-N-D D-IH0 Z-ER1 T-IH0-D


... but she was there, deep, deep inside behind the high impenetrable walls and the dense fir trees that hid her windows.

B-AH1-T SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z DH-EH1-R D-IY1-P D-IY1 P-IH0-N S-AY1-D B-IH0 HH-AY1-N-D DH-AH0 HH-AY1 IH0-M P-EH1 N-AH0 T-R-AH0 B-AH0 L-W-AO1-L Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 D-EH1-N-S F-ER1 T-R-IY1-Z DH-AE1-T HH-IH1-D HH-ER0 W-IH1-N D-OW0-Z


the quiet transition from autumn to winter is not a bad time at all.

DH-AH0 K-W-AY1 AH0-T T-R-AE0-N Z-IH1 SH-AH0-N F-R-AH1 M-AO1 T-AH0-M T-UW1 W-IH1-N T-ER0 IH1 Z-N-AA1 T-AH0 B-AE1-D T-AY1 M-AE1 T-AO1-L


it's a time for protecting and securing things and for making sure you've got in as many supplies as you can.

IH1-T S-AH0 T-AY1-M F-AO1-R P-R-AH0 T-EH1-K T-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D S-IH0 K-Y-UH1 R-IH0-NG TH-IH1-NG Z-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R M-EY1 K-IH0-NG SH-UH1 R-Y-UW1-V G-AA1 T-IH0 N-AE1 Z-M-EH1 N-IY0 S-AH0 P-L-AY1 Z-AE1 Z-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N


then the cold and the storms and the darkness can do their worst. they can grope their way up the walls looking for a way in, but they won't find one.

DH-EH1-N DH-AH0 K-OW1-L D-AH0-N-D DH-AH0-S T-AO1-R-M Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 D-AA1-R K-N-AH0-S K-AE1-N D-UW1 DH-EH1 R-W-ER1-S-T DH-EY1 K-AE1-N G-R-OW1-P DH-EH1 R-W-EY1 AH1-P DH-AH0 W-AO1-L Z-L-UH1 K-IH0-NG F-AO1 R-AH0 W-EY1 IH0-N B-AH1-T DH-EY1 W-OW1-N-T F-AY1-N D-W-AH1-N


everything is shut and you sit inside laughing in your warmth and your solitude, for you have had foresight.

EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-IH1-Z SH-AH1 T-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 S-IH1 T-IH0-N S-AY1 D-L-AE1 F-IH0 NG-IH0 N-Y-AO1 R-W-AO1-R-M TH-AH0-N D-Y-AO1-R S-AA1 L-AH0 T-UW2-D F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 HH-AE1-V HH-AE1-D F-AO1-R S-AY2-T


there are those who stay at home and those who go away, and it has always been so.

DH-EH1 R-AA1-R DH-OW1-Z HH-UW1-S T-EY1 AE1-T HH-OW1 M-AH0-N-D DH-OW1-Z HH-UW1 G-OW1 AH0 W-EY1 AH0-N D-IH1-T HH-AE1 Z-AO1 L-W-EY2-Z B-IH1-N S-OW1


but he must choose while there is still time and never change his mind.

B-AH1-T HH-IY1 M-AH1-S-T CH-UW1 Z-W-AY1-L DH-EH1 R-IH1-Z-S T-IH1-L T-AY1 M-AH0-N D-N-EH1 V-ER0 CH-EY1-N-JH HH-IH1 Z-M-AY1-N-D


fillyjonk started to beat carpets at the back of her house. she put all she'd got into it with a measured frenzy and-

F-IH1 L-Y-AH0-NG K-AA0-N-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D T-UW1 B-IY1-T K-AA1-R P-AH0-T S-AE1-T DH-AH0 B-AE1 K-AH1-V HH-ER0 HH-AW1-S SH-IY1 P-UH1 T-AO1-L SH-EH1-D G-AA1 T-IH0-N T-UW1 IH1 T-W-IH1 DH-AH0 M-EH1 ZH-ER0-D F-R-EH1-N Z-IY0 AH0-N-D


... everybody could hear that she loved beating carpets.

EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0 K-UH1-D HH-IY1-R DH-AE1-T SH-IY1 L-AH1-V-D B-IY1 T-IH0-NG K-AA1-R P-AH0-T-S


snufkin walked on, lit his pipe and thought-

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0 N-W-AO1-K T-AA1 N-L-IH1-T HH-IH1-Z P-AY1 P-AH0-N-D TH-AO1-T


... "they're waking up in moominvalley." moominpappa is winding up the clock and tapping the barometer. moomin-

TH-EH1 R-W-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH1 P-IH0-N M-UW2 AH0 N-IH1 V-AH0 L-AH0 P-IY0 M-UW2 AH0-M P-IY1 N-AH0 P-AH0 N-IH1 Z-W-AY1-N D-IH0 NG-AH1-P DH-AH0 K-L-AA1 K-AH0-N-D T-AE1 P-IH0-NG DH-AH0 B-ER0 AA1 M-IH0 T-ER0 M-UW1 M-IH0-N


.. the stove. moomintroll goes out onto the veranda and sees that my camping site is deserted.

DH-AH0-S T-OW1 V-M-UW2 AH0-N T-R-IY0 M-OW1-N T-AH0-L G-OW1 Z-AW1 T-AA1-N T-UW0 DH-AH0 V-ER0 AE1-N D-AH0 AH0-N-D S-IY1-Z DH-AE1 T-M-AY1 K-AE1-M P-IH0-NG S-AY1 T-IH1-Z D-IH0 Z-ER1 T-IH0-D


he looks in the letterbox down at the bridge, and it's empty too.

HH-IY1 L-UH1-K S-IH0-N DH-AH0 L-EH1 T-ER0 B-R-AH0-K-S D-AW1 N-AE1-T DH-AH0 B-R-IH1 JH-AH0-N D-IH1-T S-EH1-M-P T-IY0 T-UW1


i forgot my goodbye letter, i didn't have time.

AY1 F-ER0 G-AA1 T-M-AY1 G-UH2-D B-AY1 L-EH1 T-ER0 AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V T-AY1-M


but all the letters i write are the same, "i'll be back in april, keep well."

B-AH1 T-AO1-L DH-AH0 L-EH1 T-ER0 Z-AY1 R-AY1 T-AA1-R DH-AH0 S-EY1 M-IH1-L B-IY1 B-AE1 K-IH0 N-EY1 P-R-AH0-L K-IY1 P-W-EH1-L


"i'm going away, but i'll be back in the spring. look after yourself."

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0 NG-AH0 W-EY1 B-AH1 T-IH1-L B-IY1 B-AE1 K-IH0-N DH-AH0-S P-R-IH1 NG-L-UH1 K-AE1-F T-ER0 Y-ER0 S-EH1-L-F


he knows anyway. and snufkin forgot all about moomintroll as easily as that.

HH-IY1 N-OW1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 AH0-N-D S-N-AH1-F K-IH0-N F-ER0 G-AA1 T-AO1 L-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-UW2 AH0-N T-R-IY0 M-OW1-N T-AH0 L-AE1 Z-IY1 Z-AH0 L-IY0 AE1-Z DH-AE1-T


at dusk, he came to the long bay that lies in perpetual shadow between the mountains. deep in the bay-

AE1-T D-AH1-S-K HH-IY1 K-EY1-M T-UW1 DH-AH0 L-AO1-NG B-EY1 DH-AE1 T-L-AY1 Z-IH0-N P-ER0 P-EH1 CH-UW0 AH0-L SH-AE1 D-OW2 B-IH0 T-W-IY1-N DH-AH0 M-AW1-N T-AH0-N-Z D-IY1 P-IH0-N DH-AH0 B-EY1


... some early lights were shining where a group of houses huddled together.

S-AH1 M-ER1 L-IY0 L-AY1-T S-W-ER0 SH-AY1 N-IH0 NG-W-EH1 R-AH0 G-R-UW1 P-AH1-V HH-AW1 S-AH0-Z HH-AH1 D-AH0-L-D T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0


it was here that the hemulen, mymble and gaffsie-

IH1 T-W-AA1-Z HH-IY1-R DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 HH-EH1 M-Y-AH0 L-AH0-N M-IH1-M B-AH0 L-AH0-N-D G-AE1-F S-IY0


snufkin crept past their backyards, keeping in the shadows, and he was as quiet as he could be because he didn't want to talk to a soul.

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0-N K-R-EH1-P-T P-AE1-S-T DH-EH1-R B-AE1 K-Y-AA2-R-D-Z K-IY1 P-IH0 NG-IH0-N DH-AH0 SH-AE1 D-OW2 Z-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1-Z K-W-AY1 AH0 T-AE1-Z HH-IY1 K-UH1-D B-IY1 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z HH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 T-AO1-K T-UW1 AH0 S-OW1-L


big houses and little houses all very close to each other.

B-IH1-G HH-AW1 S-AH0 Z-AH0-N D-L-IH1 T-AH0-L HH-AW1 S-AH0 Z-AO1-L V-EH1 R-IY0 K-L-OW1-S T-UW1 IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0


some were joined together and shared the same gutters and the same dustbins, looked in at each other's windows and smelt their food.

S-AH1 M-W-ER0 JH-OY1-N-D T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 AH0-N-D SH-EH1-R-D DH-AH0 S-EY1-M G-AH1 T-ER0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-EY1-M D-AH1-S-T B-AH0-N Z-L-UH1-K T-IH0 N-AE1 T-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0 Z-W-IH1-N D-OW0 Z-AH0-N-D S-M-EH1-L-T DH-EH1-R F-UW1-D


the chimneys and high tables and the drain pipes, and below, the well-worn paths, leading from door to door.

DH-AH0 CH-IH1-M N-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D HH-AY1 T-EY1 B-AH0-L Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 D-R-EY1-N P-AY1-P S-AH0-N-D B-IH0 L-OW1 DH-AH0 W-EH1 L-W-ER0-N P-AE1-DH Z-L-IY1 D-IH0-NG F-R-AH1-M D-AO1-R T-UW1 D-AO1-R


snufkin walked quickly and silently and thought, "oh, all you houses, how i hate you."

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0 N-W-AO1-K-T K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 AH0-N-D S-AY1 L-AH0-N T-L-IY0 AH0-N-D TH-AO1 T-OW1 AO1 L-Y-UW1 HH-AW1 S-AH0-Z HH-AW1 AY1 HH-EY1 T-Y-UW1


it was almost dark now.

IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AO1-L M-OW2-S-T D-AA1-R K-N-AW1


the hemulen's boat [inaudible 00:00:17] pulled up under the alders and there was a great tarpaulin covering it, a little higher up like the mast-

DH-AH0 HH-EH1 M-Y-AH0 L-AH0-N-Z B-OW1 T-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z Z-IH1 R-OW0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D S-EH1 V-AH0-N T-IY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z P-UH1-L D-AH1 P-AH1-N D-ER0 DH-AH0 AA1-L D-ER0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-AH0 G-R-EY1-T T-AA0-R P-OW1 L-IH0-N K-AH1 V-ER0 IH0 NG-IH1 T-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L HH-AY1 ER0 AH1 P-L-AY1-K DH-AH0 M-AE1-S-T


...they were blackened and cracked by the passing of many a summer, but they had never been used.

DH-EY1 W-ER0 B-L-AE1 K-AH0-N D-AH0-N-D K-R-AE1-K-T B-AY1 DH-AH0 P-AE1 S-IH0 NG-AH1 V-M-EH1 N-IY0 AH0 S-AH1 M-ER0 B-AH1-T DH-EY1 HH-AE1 D-N-EH1 V-ER0 B-IH1 N-Y-UW1-Z-D


snufkin shook himself, and walked on.

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0-N SH-UH1-K HH-IH0-M S-EH1-L F-AH0-N D-W-AO1-K T-AA1-N


but, toft curled up inside the hemulen's boat, heard his steps and held his breath.

B-AH1-T T-AA1-F-T K-ER1-L D-AH1 P-IH0-N S-AY1-D DH-AH0 HH-EH1 M-Y-AH0 L-AH0-N-Z B-OW1-T HH-ER1-D HH-IH1-Z-S T-EH1-P S-AH0-N-D HH-EH1-L-D HH-IH1-Z B-R-EH1-TH


the sound of snufkin's footsteps got farther and farther away and all was quiet again and only the rain fell on the tarpaulin.

DH-AH0 S-AW1-N D-AH1-V S-N-AH1-F K-IH0-N-Z F-UH1-T-S T-EH2-P-S G-AA1-T F-AA1-R DH-ER0 AH0-N-D F-AA1-R DH-ER0 AH0 W-EY1 AH0-N D-AO1 L-W-AA1-Z K-W-AY1 AH0 T-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N D-OW1 N-L-IY0 DH-AH0 R-EY1-N F-EH1 L-AA1-N DH-AH0 T-AA0-R P-OW1 L-IH0-N


the very last house stood all by itself under a dark green wall of fir trees, and here the wild country really began.

DH-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 L-AE1-S-T HH-AW1-S-S T-UH1 D-AO1-L B-AY1 IH0-T S-EH1-L F-AH1-N D-ER0 AH0 D-AA1-R-K G-R-IY1 N-W-AO1 L-AH1-V F-ER1 T-R-IY1 Z-AH0-N-D HH-IY1-R DH-AH0 W-AY1-L-D K-AH1-N T-R-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 B-IH0 G-AE1-N


snufkin walked faster and faster, straight into the forest.

S-N-AH1-F K-IH0 N-W-AO1-K-T F-AE1-S T-ER0 AH0-N-D F-AE1-S T-ER0-S T-R-EY1 T-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 F-AO1 R-AH0-S-T


then the door of the last house opened a chink and a very old voice cried.

DH-EH1-N DH-AH0 D-AO1 R-AH1-V DH-AH0 L-AE1-S-T HH-AW1 S-OW1 P-AH0-N D-AH0 CH-IH1-NG K-AH0-N D-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 OW1-L-D V-OY1-S K-R-AY1-D


the door shut again, and snufkin entered his forest.

DH-AH0 D-AO1-R SH-AH1 T-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N-D S-N-AH1-F K-IH0 N-EH1-N T-ER0-D HH-IH1-Z F-AO1 R-AH0-S-T


with a hundred miles of silence ahead of him.

W-IH1 DH-AH0 HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0 D-M-AY1-L Z-AH1-V S-AY1 L-AH0-N S-AH0 HH-EH1 D-AH1-V HH-IH1-M


...and yeah, we're going to take this year off.

AH0-N D-Y-AE1 W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 T-EY1-K DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1 R-AO1-F


well i'm taking a year off, but it's not exactly a year off because-

W-EH1 L-IH1-M T-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 Y-IH1 R-AO1-F B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 AH0 Y-IH1 R-AO1-F B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


...come back again after this year.

K-AH1-M B-AE1 K-AH0 G-EH1 N-AE1-F T-ER0 DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1-R


...there'll be so much [inaudible 00:01:34] the stuff going on. i'm sure we'll work on other projects in the future as well.

DH-EH1 R-AH0-L B-IY1 S-OW1 M-AH1 CH-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-W-AH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 F-AO1-R S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z DH-AH0-S T-AH1-F G-OW1 IH0 NG-AA1 N-AY1 AE1-M SH-UH1 R-W-EH1 L-W-ER1 K-AA1 N-AH1 DH-ER0 P-R-AA1 JH-EH0-K-T S-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0 AE1 Z-W-EH1-L


absolutely. thank you very much. i hope he enjoys it.

AE2-B S-AH0 L-UW1 T-L-IY0 TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 V-EH1 R-IY0 M-AH1 CH-AY1 HH-OW1-P HH-IY1 EH0-N JH-OY1 Z-IH1-T


this one is the one that it was supposed to be, which was favorite performers, but i found that impossible, so there's also a best of each season and the best of genres, but-there was never a-

DH-IH1 S-W-AH1 N-IH1-Z DH-AH0 W-AH1-N DH-AE1 T-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z S-AH0 P-OW1-Z-D T-UW1 B-IY1 W-IH1 CH-W-AA1-Z F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0-Z B-AH1 T-AY1 F-AW1-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH0-M P-AA1 S-AH0 B-AH0-L S-OW1 DH-EH1-R Z-AO1-L S-OW0 AH0 B-EH1-S T-AH1 V-IY1-CH S-IY1 Z-AH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 B-EH1-S T-AH1-V ZH-AA1 N-R-AH0-Z B-AH1-T HH-ER0 W-AA1 Z-N-EH1 V-ER0 AH0


[inaudible 00:01:57]. it was open-ended, whatever you wanted to do.well,so for today we're doing your favorite performers, which is a bold statement.

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-W-AH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 S-EH1 V-AH0-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 P-IY1-N D-AH0-N D-W-AH2 T-EH1 V-ER0 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N T-AH0-D T-UW1 D-OW0 EH1-L S-OW0 F-AO1-R T-AH0 D-EY1 W-ER0 D-UW1 IH0 NG-Y-AO1-R F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 Z-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AH0 B-OW1-L-D-S T-EY1 T-M-AH0-N-T


you should be more functional. you should be more like your brother. you should be less of a dreamer. you should be clean and move productive. so shutdown-

Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D B-IY1 M-AO1-R F-AH1-NG-K SH-AH0 N-AH0 L-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D B-IY1 M-AO1-R L-AY1 K-Y-AO1-R B-R-AH1 DH-ER0 Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D B-IY1 L-EH1 S-AH1 V-AH0 D-R-IY1 M-ER0 Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D B-IY1 K-L-IY1 N-AH0-N D-M-UW1-V P-R-AH0 D-AH1-K T-IH0-V S-OW1 SH-AH1-T D-AW2-N


...your pc-junk. pack up your dictionaries, close-

Y-AO1-R P-Y-AH1-NG-K P-AE1 K-AH1 P-Y-AO1-R D-IH1-K SH-AH0 N-EH2 R-IY0-Z K-L-OW1-S


...your books, unsquint your eyes and look. look out at the world. go on, brave the cold daylight-

Y-AO1-R B-UH1-K S-AH0-N-S K-W-IH1-N T-Y-AO1 R-AY1 Z-AH0-N D-L-UH1 K-L-UH1 K-AW1 T-AE1-T DH-AH0 W-ER1-L-D G-OW1 AA1-N B-R-EY1-V DH-AH0 K-OW1-L-D D-EY1 L-AY2-T


...of the outside without the cloak of illusion, without the joke of your delusion-

AH1-V DH-AH0 AW1-T S-AY1 D-W-IH0 TH-AW1-T DH-AH0 K-L-OW1 K-AH1 V-IH0 L-UW1 ZH-AH0 N-W-IH0 TH-AW1-T DH-AH0 JH-OW1 K-AH1 V-Y-AO1-R D-IH0 L-UW1 ZH-AH0-N


there were too many wrongs, to right. so, good night.

DH-EH1 R-W-ER0 T-UW1 M-EH1 N-IY0 R-AO1-NG-Z T-UW1 R-AY1-T S-OW1 G-UH1 D-N-AY1-T


one of the things that he's most amazing at, other than just being in a lovely, dynamic person, who's always around is-

W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1-T HH-IY1 Z-M-OW1-S T-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-AE1 T-AH1 DH-ER0 DH-AE1-N JH-AH1-S-T B-IY1 IH0 NG-IH0 N-AH0 L-AH1 V-L-IY0 D-AY0 N-AE1 M-IH0-K P-ER1 S-AH0-N HH-UW1 Z-AO1 L-W-EY2 Z-ER0 AW1-N D-IH1-Z


...he manages to bridge that gap so well between page and performance poetry.

HH-IY1 M-AE1 N-IH0 JH-IH0-Z T-UW1 B-R-IH1-JH DH-AE1-T G-AE1-P S-OW1 W-EH1-L B-IH0 T-W-IY1-N P-EY1 JH-AH0-N-D P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-AH0-N-S P-OW1 AH0 T-R-IY0


but he also does his own poetry and it is epically wonderful and amazing. and this year in edinburgh,

B-AH1-T HH-IY1 AO1-L S-OW0 D-AH1-Z HH-IH1 Z-OW1-N P-OW1 AH0 T-R-IY0 AH0-N D-IH1 T-IH1 Z-EH1 P-IH0 K-AH0 L-IY0 W-AH1-N D-ER0 F-AH0 L-AH0-N D-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1 R-IH0 N-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0


he did a lovely show about the moomins, but this is the wonderful, the exceptional,

HH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0 L-AH1 V-L-IY0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 M-UW1 M-IH0-N-Z B-AH1-T DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 W-AH1-N D-ER0 F-AH0-L DH-AH0 IH0-K S-EH1-P SH-AH0 N-AH0-L


this is a real victorian children's story from a real victorian children's book, called the anyhow stories by lucy clifford, a best seller back in 1885.

DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 R-IY1-L V-IH0-K T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-N CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N-Z-S T-AO1 R-IY0 F-R-AH1 M-AH0 R-IY1-L V-IH0-K T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-N CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N-Z B-UH1-K K-AO1-L-D DH-AH0 EH1 N-IY0 HH-AW2-S T-AO1 R-IY0-Z B-AY1 L-UW1 S-IY0 K-L-IH1 F-ER0 D-AH0 B-EH1-S-T S-EH1 L-ER0 B-AE1 K-IH0 N-EY0 T-IY1 N-EY1 T-IY0 F-AY1-V


if you write this to a child nowadays the social would be on their way. as i think you're going to see, it's not the whole thing. i'm just going to talk and-

IH1 F-Y-UW1 R-AY1-T DH-IH1-S T-UW1 AH0 CH-AY1-L D-N-AW1 AH0 D-EY2-Z DH-AH0 S-OW1 SH-AH0 L-W-UH1-D B-IY1 AA1-N DH-EH1 R-W-EY1 AE1 Z-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-Y-UH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-IY1 IH1-T S-N-AA1-T DH-AH0 HH-OW1-L TH-IH1 NG-IH1-M JH-AH1-S-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0-N-D


i'm going to give you the setup and we're going to cut to the chase at the end.

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-IH1 V-Y-UW1 DH-AH0 S-EH1 T-AH2 P-AH0-N D-W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 K-AH1-T T-UW1 DH-AH0 CH-EY1 S-AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1-N-D


this is absolutely real. and you can forget the fucking gruffalo.

DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AE2-B S-AH0 L-UW1 T-L-IY0 R-IY1 L-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N F-ER0 G-EH1-T DH-AH0 F-AH1 K-IH0-NG G-R-AH0 F-AA1 L-OW0


i was 14.


he was an angel.


he looked like an angel.

HH-IY1 L-UH1-K T-L-AY1 K-AE1 N-EY1-N JH-AH0-L


actually, he looked like angel, from buffy,

AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 HH-IY1 L-UH1-K T-L-AY1 K-EY1-N JH-AH0-L F-R-AH1-M B-AH1 F-IY0


the vampire slayer, played by a young gorgeous,

DH-AH0 V-AE1-M P-AY0-R S-L-EY1 ER0 P-L-EY1-D B-AY1 AH0 Y-AH1-NG G-AO1-R JH-AH0-S


david boreanaz, is as brooding as he was charismatic. as cheek-boney, as he was undead.

D-EY1 V-IH0-D B-AO0 R-IY1 N-AH0 Z-IH1 Z-AE1-Z B-R-UW1 D-IH0 NG-AE1-Z HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z K-EH0 R-IH0 Z-M-AE1 T-IH0 K-AE1-Z CH-IY1-K B-AH0 N-IY0 AE1-Z HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0-N D-IY1-D


i saw him across the room at a party, and as nickelbacks'-

AY1 S-AO1 HH-IH1 M-AH0 K-R-AO1-S DH-AH0 R-UW1 M-AE1 T-AH0 P-AA1-R T-IY0 AH0-N D-AE1 Z-N-IH1 K-AH0 B-L-AE2-K-S


...how you remind me, began to spill from the speakers, he turned his dark eyes towards me.

HH-AW1 Y-UW1 R-IY0 M-AY1-N D-M-IY1 B-IH0 G-AE1-N T-UW1-S P-IH1-L F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0-S P-IY1 K-ER0-Z HH-IY1 T-ER1-N-D HH-IH1-Z D-AA1-R K-AY1-Z T-AH0 W-AO1-R-D Z-M-IY1


...and he flicked the ash from a cigarette onto the carpet.

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 F-L-IH1-K-T DH-AH0 AE1-SH F-R-AH1 M-AH0 S-IH2 G-ER0 EH1 T-AA1-N T-UW0 DH-AH0 K-AA1-R P-AH0-T


i drank a vodka, neat, by which i mean, from a water bottle.

AY1 D-R-AE1-NG K-AH0 V-AA1-D K-AH0 N-IY1-T B-AY1 W-IH1 CH-AY1 M-IY1-N F-R-AH1 M-AH0 W-AO1 T-ER0 B-AA1 T-AH0-L


i stumbled towards him, cultish, in both the clumsy baby horse sense and the charles manson sense.

AY1-S T-AH1-M B-AH0-L-D T-AH0 W-AO1-R-D-Z HH-IH1-M K-AH1-L T-IH0 SH-IH0-N B-OW1-TH DH-AH0 K-L-AH1-M Z-IY0 B-EY1 B-IY0 HH-AO1-R-S S-EH1-N S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 CH-AA1-R-L Z-M-AE1-N S-AH0-N S-EH1-N-S


i sat down next to him on the expensive leather sofa of our wealthy friends' on interested stepmother. uninterested stepmothers were very much in vogue with my friends.

AY1 S-AE1-T D-AW1-N N-EH1-K-S-T T-UW1 HH-IH1 M-AA1-N DH-AH0 IH0-K-S P-EH1-N S-IH0 V-L-EH1 DH-ER0 S-OW1 F-AH0 AH1 V-AW1 ER0 W-EH1-L TH-IY0 F-R-EH1-N-D Z-AA1 N-IH1-N T-R-AH0-S T-AH0-D-S T-EH1 P-M-AH2 DH-ER0 AH0 N-IH1-N T-R-AH0-S T-AH0-D-S T-EH1 P-M-AH0 DH-ER0 Z-W-ER0 V-EH1 R-IY0 M-AH1 CH-IH0-N V-OW1 G-W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-R-EH1-N-D-Z


they had unlocked medicine cabinets and other places to be.

DH-EY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 N-L-AA1-K T-M-EH1 D-AH0 S-AH0-N K-AE1 B-AH0 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N D-AH1 DH-ER0 P-L-EY1 S-AH0-Z T-UW1 B-IY1


...finished that sentence, and he never did. he just bent down and picked up his leather backpack.

F-IH1 N-IH0-SH-T DH-AE1-T S-EH1-N T-AH0-N S-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 D-IH1-D HH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T B-EH1-N-T D-AW1 N-AH0-N-D P-IH1-K T-AH1-P HH-IH1 Z-L-EH1 DH-ER0 B-AE1-K P-AE2-K


he kissed me on both cheeks. then held my face in his hands and said,

HH-IY1 K-IH1-S T-M-IY1 AA1-N B-OW1-TH CH-IY1-K-S DH-EH1-N HH-EH1-L D-M-AY1 F-EY1 S-IH0-N HH-IH1-Z HH-AE1-N-D Z-AH0-N-D S-EH1-D


you look the same, bella.

Y-UW1 L-UH1-K DH-AH0 S-EY1-M B-EH1 L-AH0


so do you ange- justin.

S-OW1 D-UW1 Y-UW1 EY1-N-JH JH-AH1-S T-AH0-N


i didn't see justin again for five years.

AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T S-IY1 JH-AH1-S T-AH0 N-AH0 G-EH1-N F-AO1-R F-AY1 V-Y-IH1-R-Z


when i was 24,

W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 F-AO1-R


and he was an angel.

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1 N-EY1-N JH-AH0-L


well, he looked like an angel.

W-EH1-L HH-IY1 L-UH1-K T-L-AY1 K-AE1 N-EY1-N JH-AH0-L


bender then dropped him off at a crime scene and asked him to quit.

B-EH1-N D-ER0 DH-EH1-N D-R-AA1-P-T HH-IH1 M-AO1 F-AE1 T-AH0 K-R-AY1-M S-IY1 N-AH0-N D-AE1-S-K-T HH-IH1-M T-UW1 K-W-IH1-T


...saw him across a crowded beer garden on a sunny afternoon. and as gotye's somebody that i used to know, began to spill from the speakers,

S-AO1 HH-IH1 M-AH0 K-R-AO1 S-AH0 K-R-AW1 D-AH0-D B-IH1-R G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-AA1 N-AH0 S-AH1 N-IY0 AE2-F T-ER0 N-UW1 N-AH0-N D-AE1-Z G-OW1 T-Y-IH0-Z S-AH1-M B-AA2 D-IY0 DH-AE1 T-AY1 Y-UW1-Z-D T-UW1 N-OW1 B-IH0 G-AE1-N T-UW1-S P-IH1-L F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0-S P-IY1 K-ER0-Z


even i couldn't fight significance in that, he turned his dark eyes towards me and,

IY1 V-IH0 N-AY1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N-T F-AY1-T S-AH0 G-N-IH1 F-IH0 K-AH0-N S-IH0-N DH-AE1-T HH-IY1 T-ER1-N-D HH-IH1-Z D-AA1-R K-AY1-Z T-AH0 W-AO1-R-D Z-M-IY1 AH0-N-D


smiled, jumped up, ran over to my table and threw his arms around me. oh my god-

S-M-AY1-L-D JH-AH1-M-P T-AH1 P-R-AE1 N-OW1 V-ER0 T-UW1 M-AY1 T-EY1 B-AH0 L-AH0-N-D TH-R-UW1 HH-IH1 Z-AA1-R-M Z-ER0 AW1-N D-M-IY1 OW1 M-AY1 G-AA1-D


a beautiful surprise.

AH0 B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L S-ER0 P-R-AY1-Z


i was a beautiful surprise to this familiar stranger. and i hugged him back hard.

AY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L S-ER0 P-R-AY1-Z T-UW1 DH-IH1-S F-AH0 M-IH1 L-Y-ER0-S T-R-EY1-N JH-ER0 AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AH1-G-D HH-IH1-M B-AE1-K HH-AA1-R-D


he sat down and we caught up.

HH-IY1 S-AE1-T D-AW1 N-AH0-N D-W-IY1 K-AA1 T-AH1-P


he drank a cider, pear.

HH-IY1 D-R-AE1-NG K-AH0 S-AY1 D-ER0 P-EH1-R


i drank a cider, girly, by which i mean [inaudible 00:06:19].

AY1 D-R-AE1-NG K-AH0 S-AY1 D-ER0 G-ER1 L-IY0 B-AY1 W-IH1 CH-AY1 M-IY1 N-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-IH1-K S-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N D-N-AY1-N T-IY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


he told me he was a writer now, was actually doing his masters in literature.

HH-IY1 T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 R-AY1 T-ER0 N-AW1 W-AA1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 D-UW1 IH0-NG HH-IH1 Z-M-AE1-S T-ER0 Z-IH0 N-L-IH1 T-ER0 AH0 CH-ER0


i told him i was a comedian, and he said that made sense, because i'd always made him laugh, which i didn't remember.

AY1 T-OW1-L-D HH-IH1 M-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0 N-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 S-EH1-D DH-AE1 T-M-EY1-D S-EH1-N-S B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1 D-AO1 L-W-EY2 Z-M-EY1-D HH-IH1 M-L-AE1 F-W-IH1 CH-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0


after a couple of hours,

AE1-F T-ER0 AH0 K-AH1 P-AH0 L-AH1 V-AW1 ER0-Z


...the sun was starting to go down. and he told me that he lived nearby.

DH-AH0 S-AH1 N-W-AA1-Z-S T-AA1-R T-IH0-NG T-UW1 G-OW1 D-AW1 N-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 DH-AE1-T HH-IY1 L-AY1-V D-N-IH1-R B-AY1


i was sweaty and moderate drunk. and i just texted my best friend from the bathroom saying, oh my god,

AY1 W-AA1-Z S-W-EH1 T-IY0 AH0-N D-M-AA1 D-ER0 AH0-T D-R-AH1-NG K-AH0-N D-AY1 JH-AH1-S-T T-EH1-K-S T-IH0 D-M-AY1 B-EH1-S-T F-R-EH1-N-D F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 B-AE1 TH-R-UW2-M S-EY1 IH0 NG-OW1 M-AY1 G-AA1-D


...i lost my virginity to 10 years ago, almost to the day. and she'd responded, [inaudible 00:06:54], your life is not a richard curtis movie. get out.

AY1 L-AO1-S T-M-AY1 V-ER0 JH-IH1 N-IH0 T-IY0 T-UW1 T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 AO1-L M-OW2-S-T T-UW1 DH-AH0 D-EY1 AH0-N-D SH-EH1 D-R-IH0-S P-AA1-N D-IH0 D-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-IH1-K S-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 F-AO1-R S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-Y-AO1-R L-AY1 F-IH1 Z-N-AA1 T-AH0 R-IH1 CH-ER0-D K-ER1 T-AH0 S-M-UW1 V-IY0 G-EH1 T-AW1-T


so i turned my phone off because she clearly wasn't thinking straight.

S-OW1 AY1 T-ER1-N D-M-AY1 F-OW1 N-AO1-F B-IH0 K-AO1-Z SH-IY1 K-L-IH1-R L-IY0 W-AO1-S-T TH-IH1-NG K-IH0-NG-S T-R-EY1-T


and so we left, walked the melting sydney streets together, close enough that the tips of the hairs on my left arm brushed the tips of their hairs on his right.

AH0-N-D S-OW1 W-IY1 L-EH1-F T-W-AO1-K-T DH-AH0 M-EH1-L T-IH0-NG S-IH1 D-N-IY0-S T-R-IY1-T-S T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 K-L-OW1 S-IH0 N-AH1-F DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 T-IH1-P S-AH1-V DH-AH0 HH-EH1-R Z-AA1-N M-AY1 L-EH1-F T-AA1-R-M B-R-AH1-SH-T DH-AH0 T-IH1-P S-AH1-V DH-EH1-R HH-EH1-R Z-AA1-N HH-IH1 Z-R-AY1-T


we talked about music and cliff faces and why everyone was eating frozen yogurt now when ice cream already exists, and this was love.

W-IY1 T-AO1-K T-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-Y-UW1 Z-IH0 K-AH0-N-D K-L-IH1-F F-EY1 S-AH0 Z-AH0-N D-W-AY1 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2 N-W-AA1 Z-IY1 T-IH0-NG F-R-OW1 Z-AH0 N-Y-OW1 G-ER0 T-N-AW1 W-EH1 N-AY1-S K-R-IY1 M-AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 IH0-G Z-IH1-S-T S-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-W-AA1 Z-L-AH1-V


we sat down.


...in his backyard, and he lit a cigarette.

IH0-N HH-IH1-Z B-AE1 K-Y-AA2-R D-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 L-IH1 T-AH0 S-IH2 G-ER0 EH1-T


his first of the day. i watched him ash carefully into the mangled clay ashtray that his six year old niece had made him. she was perfect,

HH-IH1-Z F-ER1-S T-AH1-V DH-AH0 D-EY1 AY1 W-AA1-CH-T HH-IH1 M-AE1-SH K-EH1-R F-AH0 L-IY0 IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 M-AE1-NG G-AH0-L-D K-L-EY1 AE1-SH T-R-EY2 DH-AE1-T HH-IH1-Z S-IH1-K S-Y-IH1 R-OW1-L D-N-IY1-S HH-AE1 D-M-EY1-D HH-IH1-M SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z P-ER1 F-IH2-K-T


...apparently. and his sister was just in love. she traded in the underused flat for a nice house in the country with her husband and little girl. and he said, she'd never been happier.

AH0 P-EH1 R-AH0-N T-L-IY0 AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z S-IH1-S T-ER0 W-AA1-Z JH-AH1-S T-IH0 N-L-AH1-V SH-IY1 T-R-EY1 D-IH0 D-IH0-N DH-AH0 AH2-N D-ER0 Y-UW1-Z-D F-L-AE1-T F-AO1 R-AH0 N-AY1-S HH-AW1 S-IH0-N DH-AH0 K-AH1-N T-R-IY0 W-IH1-DH HH-ER0 HH-AH1-Z B-AH0-N D-AH0-N D-L-IH1 T-AH0-L G-ER1 L-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 S-EH1-D SH-EH1 D-N-EH1 V-ER0 B-IH1-N HH-AE1 P-IY0 ER0


he chatted away about his nieces' swimming lessons, and her little braids, and i let his words run together as i watched the smoke drift from his lips.

HH-IY1 CH-AE1 T-AH0 D-AH0 W-EY1 AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IH1 Z-N-IY1 S-IH0-Z S-W-IH1 M-IH0 NG-L-EH1 S-AH0-N Z-AH0-N-D HH-ER0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-R-EY1-D Z-AH0-N D-AY1 L-EH1-T HH-IH1 Z-W-ER1-D Z-R-AH1-N T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 AE1 Z-AY1 W-AA1-CH-T DH-AH0 S-M-OW1-K D-R-IH1-F-T F-R-AH1-M HH-IH1 Z-L-IH1-P-S


i am so sorry.


well, that penetrated.

W-EH1-L DH-AE1-T P-EH1 N-AH0 T-R-EY2 T-AH0-D


i don't know if this is a good time to bring this up or when a good time really would be. but look,

AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 IH1-F DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 G-UH1-D T-AY1-M T-UW1 B-R-IH1-NG DH-IH1 S-AH1 P-AO1 R-W-EH1 N-AH0 G-UH1-D T-AY1 M-R-IH1 L-IY0 W-UH1-D B-IY1 B-AH1 T-L-UH1-K


it's just, that night when we were kids-

IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T DH-AE1 T-N-AY1 T-W-EH1 N-W-IY1 W-ER0 K-IH1-D-Z


i wish i said it earlier. remember that time i run into you,

AY1 W-IH1 SH-AY1 S-EH1 D-IH1 T-ER1 L-IY0 ER0 R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 DH-AE1-T T-AY1 M-AY1 R-AH1 N-IH0-N T-UW1 Y-UW1


...you seemed so happy. you had your degree and your boyfriend, your whole life together. what would an apology for me even mean?

Y-UW1 S-IY1-M-D S-OW1 HH-AE1 P-IY0 Y-UW1 HH-AE1 D-Y-AO1-R D-IH0 G-R-IY1 AH0-N D-Y-AO1-R B-OY1 F-R-EH2-N D-Y-AO1-R HH-OW1-L L-AY1-F T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 W-AH1 T-W-UH1 D-AE1 N-AH0 P-AA1 L-AH0 JH-IY0 F-AO1-R M-IY1 IY1 V-IH0-N M-IY1-N


and i asked if i could kiss him.

AH0-N D-AY1 AE1-S-K T-IH1 F-AY1 K-UH1-D K-IH1-S HH-IH1-M


and he asked if i remembered how.

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 AE1-S-K T-IH1 F-AY1 R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0-D HH-AW1


and i did.


...with 10 years of separate, but parallel development.

W-IH1-DH T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R Z-AH1-V S-EH1 P-ER0 IH0-T B-AH1-T P-EH1 R-AH0 L-EH2-L D-IH0 V-EH1 L-AH0 P-M-AH0-N-T


it tasted like a memory. and it tasted like hope.

IH1-T T-EY1-S T-AH0 D-L-AY1 K-AH0 M-EH1 M-ER0 IY0 AH0-N D-IH1-T T-EY1-S T-AH0 D-L-AY1-K HH-OW1-P


it felt like my teenage years, it felt like right now,

IH1-T F-EH1-L T-L-AY1 K-M-AY1 T-IY1 N-EY2 JH-Y-IH1-R Z-IH1-T F-EH1-L T-L-AY1 K-R-AY1 T-N-AW1


every mistake i'd made in the last five years,

EH1 V-ER0 IY0 M-IH0-S T-EY1 K-IH1 D-M-EY1 D-IH0-N DH-AH0 L-AE1-S-T F-AY1 V-Y-IH1-R-Z


because they brought me back here again and again and again. and now for the last time,

B-IH0 K-AO1-Z DH-EY1 B-R-AO1 T-M-IY1 B-AE1-K HH-IY1 R-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N D-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N D-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N D-N-AW1 F-AO1-R DH-AH0 L-AE1-S-T T-AY1-M


my 14-year old self had seen where i belonged and-

M-AY1 F-AO0-R T-IY1 N-Y-IH0 R-OW1-L-D S-EH1-L-F HH-AE1-D S-IY1 N-W-EH1 R-AY1 B-IH0 L-AO1-NG D-AH0-N-D


...she'd planted a flag there. basecamp.

SH-EH1-D P-L-AE1-N T-AH0 D-AH0 F-L-AE1-G DH-EH1-R B-EY1-S K-AE2-M-P


and i'd finally found it again.

AH0-N D-IH1-D F-AY1 N-AH0 L-IY0 F-AW1-N D-IH1 T-AH0 G-EH1-N


i could light a tiny fire,

AY1 K-UH1 D-L-AY1 T-AH0 T-AY1 N-IY0 F-AY1 ER0


build little house, maybe learn to knit.

B-IH1-L D-L-IH1 T-AH0-L HH-AW1 S-M-EY1 B-IY0 L-ER1-N T-UW1 N-IH1-T


we went to bed.


and afterwards, i lay with my head on his chest for half an hour, listening to his raspy breath.

AH0-N D-AE1-F T-ER0 W-ER0-D Z-AY1 L-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 HH-EH1 D-AA1-N HH-IH1-Z CH-EH1-S-T F-AO1-R HH-AE1 F-AE1 N-AW1 ER0 L-IH1 S-AH0 N-IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-IH1 Z-R-AE1-S P-IY0 B-R-EH1-TH


you look perfect, bella.

Y-UW1 L-UH1-K P-ER1 F-IH2-K-T B-EH1 L-AH0


i'm so glad we finally did this.

IH1-M S-OW1 G-L-AE1 D-W-IY1 F-AY1 N-AH0 L-IY0 D-IH1-D DH-IH1-S


... technically did this again.

T-EH1 K-N-IH0 K-AH0 L-IY0 D-IH1-D DH-IH1 S-AH0 G-EH1-N


it was my turn to be confused. yeah. i know, i mean-

IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-M-AY1 T-ER1-N T-UW1 B-IY1 K-AH0-N F-Y-UW1-Z D-Y-AE1 AY1 N-OW1 AY1 M-IY1-N


... did this again. you're glad we did this again.

D-IH1-D DH-IH1 S-AH0 G-EH1 N-Y-UH1-R G-L-AE1 D-W-IY1 D-IH1-D DH-IH1 S-AH0 G-EH1-N


he looked even more confused, and started to shift away from me. no-

HH-IY1 L-UH1-K T-IY1 V-IH0-N M-AO1-R K-AH0-N F-Y-UW1-Z D-AH0-N-D-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D T-UW1 SH-IH1-F T-AH0 W-EY1 F-R-AH1-M M-IY1 N-OW1


... i don't want to be crude, but i'm glad we finally-

AY1 D-AA1-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 B-IY1 K-R-UW1-D B-AH1 T-IH1-M G-L-AE1 D-W-IY1 F-AY1 N-AH0 L-IY0


... had sex. i shifted away too. our hips disconnected, and the sheet fell away. ah, not to be a stickler, justin, but we've already had sex.

HH-AE1-D S-EH1-K S-AY1 SH-IH1-F T-AH0 D-AH0 W-EY1 T-UW1 AW1 ER0 HH-IH1-P-S D-IH2-S K-AH0 N-EH1-K T-IH0 D-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 SH-IY1-T F-EH1 L-AH0 W-EY1 AA1 N-AA1-T T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0-S T-IH1 K-AH0 L-ER0 JH-AH1-S T-AH0-N B-AH1 T-W-IY1 V-AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 HH-AE1-D S-EH1-K-S


no, braddy. we-


... we haven't. yes, we have.

W-IY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N T-Y-EH1 S-W-IY1 HH-AE1-V


remember, i was 14. i came over. braddy-

R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 AY1 W-AA1-Z F-AO1-R T-IY1 N-AY1 K-EY1 M-OW1 V-ER0 B-R-AE1 D-IY0


... we didn't have sex that night.

W-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V S-EH1-K-S DH-AE1 T-N-AY1-T


justin, i think i'd remember. i lost my virginity to you 10 years ago, almost to the day.

JH-AH1-S T-AH0 N-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1 D-R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 AY1 L-AO1-S T-M-AY1 V-ER0 JH-IH1 N-IH0 T-IY0 T-UW1 Y-UW1 T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 AO1-L M-OW2-S-T T-UW1 DH-AH0 D-EY1


no, braddy. you didn't.

N-OW1 B-R-AE1 D-IY0 Y-UW1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T


you came over that night, and-

Y-UW1 K-EY1 M-OW1 V-ER0 DH-AE1 T-N-AY1 T-AH0-N-D


... but i didn't. we did-

B-AH1 T-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-IY1 D-IH1-D


... i couldn't get it in. i grabbed the pillow to shield myself.

AY1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N-T G-EH1 T-IH1 T-IH0 N-AY1 G-R-AE1-B-D DH-AH0 P-IH1 L-OW0 T-UW1 SH-IY1-L D-M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F


yes, you could. you-


... no, braddy. i didn't.


i've been telling this story for 10 years, and it wasn't even true?

AY1-V B-IH1-N T-EH1 L-IH0-NG DH-IH1-S-S T-AO1 R-IY0 F-AO1-R T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AO1-S T-IY1 V-IH0-N T-R-UW1


that means the guy i lost my virginity to was the next one.

DH-AE1 T-M-IY1-N-Z DH-AH0 G-AY1 AY1 L-AO1-S T-M-AY1 V-ER0 JH-IH1 N-IH0 T-IY0 T-UW1 W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S T-W-AH1-N


what the fuck was his name? i want to say-

W-AH1-T DH-AH0 F-AH1 K-W-AA1-Z HH-IH1 Z-N-EY1 M-AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 S-EY1


... tom. god. he was insignificant.

T-AA1-M G-AA1-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-IH2-N S-IH0 G-N-Y-IH1 F-IH0 K-AH0-N-T


this guy, the one beside me, or at least his past selves, which i had apparently invented, was the significant one.

DH-IH1-S G-AY1 DH-AH0 W-AH1-N B-IH0 S-AY1 D-M-IY1 AO1 R-AE1 T-L-IY1-S-T HH-IH1-Z P-AE1-S-T S-EH1-L-V Z-W-IH1 CH-AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 P-EH1 R-AH0-N T-L-IY0 IH0-N V-EH1-N T-AH0 D-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 S-AH0 G-N-IH1 F-IH0 K-AH0-N T-W-AH1-N


the one that got away. not the one who couldn't get it in.

DH-AH0 W-AH1-N DH-AE1-T G-AA1 T-AH0 W-EY1 N-AA1-T DH-AH0 W-AH1-N HH-UW1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N-T G-EH1 T-IH1 T-IH0-N


i know this is quick, but i really feel like we might have something here, you know?

AY1 N-OW1 DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z K-W-IH1-K B-AH1 T-AY1 R-IH1 L-IY0 F-IY1-L L-AY1 K-W-IY1 M-AY1-T HH-AE1-V S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG HH-IY1 R-Y-UW1 N-OW1


hey, in another sense, this has been 10 years coming, right?

HH-EY1 IH0 N-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 S-EH1-N-S DH-IH1-S HH-AE1-Z B-IH1-N T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R-Z K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-R-AY1-T


no, it was 10 years coming with some other guy. some beautiful, diffident, undead guy, who didn't give a fuck.

N-OW1 IH1 T-W-AA1-Z T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R-Z K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-W-IH1-DH S-AH1 M-AH1 DH-ER0 G-AY1 S-AH1-M B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L D-IH1 F-AH0 D-AH0-N T-AH0-N D-IY1-D G-AY1 HH-UW1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T G-IH1 V-AH0 F-AH1-K


this was all wrong. this was broken.

DH-IH1 S-W-AA1 Z-AO1-L R-AO1-NG DH-IH1 S-W-AA1-Z B-R-OW1 K-AH0-N


but i smiled and said, "yeah-"

B-AH1 T-AY1 S-M-AY1-L D-AH0-N-D S-EH1 D-Y-AE1


"... you might be right. let's go to sleep, hey."

Y-UW1 M-AY1-T B-IY1 R-AY1 T-L-EH1-T-S G-OW1 T-UW1 S-L-IY1-P HH-EY1


i waited until he was snoring, and i slid out of bed.

AY1 W-EY1 T-AH0 D-AH0-N T-IH1-L HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z S-N-AO1 R-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-AY1 S-L-IH1 D-AW1 T-AH1-V B-EH1-D


as i waited to hail a cab, one thought emerged inside to bang itself against the front of my head.

AE1 Z-AY1 W-EY1 T-AH0-D T-UW1 HH-EY1 L-AH0 K-AE1 B-W-AH1-N TH-AO1 T-IH0 M-ER1-JH D-IH0-N S-AY1-D T-UW1 B-AE1 NG-IH0-T S-EH1-L F-AH0 G-EH1-N-S-T DH-AH0 F-R-AH1-N T-AH1 V-M-AY1 HH-EH1-D


well, i have got to leave-

W-EH1 L-AY1 HH-AE1-V G-AA1-T T-UW1 L-IY1-V


... [inaudible 00:04:06]. and i did. one month-

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D S-IH1-K-S S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-AH0-N D-AY1 D-IH1 D-W-AH1-N M-AH1-N-TH


... london. and i haven't seen justin since.

L-AH1-N D-AH0 N-AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N-T S-IY1-N JH-AH1-S T-AH0-N S-IH1-N-S


many of these performers, i think, we saw his show more than once. and he was in a very difficult slot, but i don't know. he-

M-EH1 N-IY0 AH1-V DH-IY1-Z P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 Z-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-W-IY1 S-AO1 HH-IH1-Z SH-OW1 M-AO1-R DH-AE1 N-W-AH1-N S-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0 N-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 D-IH1 F-AH0 K-AH0-L-T S-L-AA1-T B-AH1 T-AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 HH-IY1


... member of stand up tragedy. evan, the award is a t-shirt.

M-EH1-M B-ER0 AH1-V-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 EH1 V-AH0-N DH-AH0 AH0 W-AO1-R D-IH1 Z-AH0 SH-ER1-T


it's a t-shirt. it's a t-shirt. but it's also our love and devotion. so, one of my favorite sons, tim ross-

IH1-T S-AH0 SH-ER1 T-IH1-T S-AH0 SH-ER1-T B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-AO1-L S-OW0 AW1 ER0 L-AH1 V-AH0-N-D D-IH0 V-OW1 SH-AH0-N S-OW1 W-AH1 N-AH1 V-M-AY1 F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T S-AH1-N-Z T-IH1 M-R-AA1-S


well, it's quite... earlier on, it had that lovely, horrific, tragic, greeny blue-

W-EH1 L-IH1-T-S K-W-AY1 T-ER1 L-IY0 ER0 AA1 N-IH1-T HH-AE1-D DH-AE1 T-L-AH1 V-L-IY0 HH-AO0 R-IH1 F-IH0-K T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K G-R-IY1 N-IY0 B-L-UW1


... undersea feeling. now it's this warm kind of inside pumpkin-

AH2-N D-ER0 S-IY1 F-IY1 L-IH0-NG N-AW1 IH1-T-S DH-IH1 S-W-AO1-R-M K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-IH0-N S-AY1-D P-AH1-M-P K-IH0-N


... to me, because this is one of my favorite nights of the year. this is the night where you get to sleep for an-

T-UW1 M-IY1 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-W-AH1 N-AH1 V-M-AY1 F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0 T-N-AY1-T S-AH1-V DH-AH0 Y-IH1-R DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 N-AY1 T-W-EH1 R-Y-UW1 G-EH1-T T-UW1 S-L-IY1-P F-AO1 R-AE1-N


well, one of your favorite sons, tim ralph, there.

W-EH1 L-W-AH1 N-AH1 V-Y-AO1-R F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T S-AH1-N-Z T-IH1 M-R-AE1-L-F DH-EH1-R


... james also your son?i don't know. if james is anything, he's definitely, i don't know, is he like the godfather? he's more like the godfather of stand up tragedy.he's like-

JH-EY1-M Z-AO1-L S-OW0 Y-AO1-R S-OW1 N-IY0 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 IH1-F JH-EY1-M Z-IH1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2-NG HH-IY1-Z D-EH1 F-AH0 N-AH0 T-L-IY0 AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 IH1-Z HH-IY1 L-AY1-K DH-AH0 G-AA1-D F-AA2 DH-ER0 HH-IY1 Z-M-AO1-R L-AY1-K DH-AH0 G-AA1-D F-AA2 DH-ER0 AH1-V-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-AY2 Z-L-AY1-K


... an uncle that takes you to magical places. i don't know if that is comfortable-

AE1 N-AH1-NG K-AH0-L DH-AE1-T T-EY1-K S-Y-UW1 T-UW1 M-AE1 JH-IH0 K-AH0-L P-L-EY1 S-AH0 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 IH1-F DH-AE1 T-IH1-Z K-AH1-M F-ER0 T-AH0 B-AH0-L


... it's a very strange thing that gives people a lot of joy.gives-

IH1-T S-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0-S T-R-EY1-N-JH TH-IH1-NG DH-AE1-T G-IH1-V-Z P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V JH-OY1 G-IH0-V-Z


... people a lot of joy, which is actually one way to describe this performer.yeah.she's unusual, but she gives you so much-

P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V JH-OY1 W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 W-AH1 N-W-EY1 T-UW1 D-IH0-S K-R-AY1-B DH-IH1-S P-ER0 F-ER0 M-EY1 SH-AH0 P-AH0 S-AH0 N-Y-UW1 ZH-AH0 W-AH0-L B-AH1-T SH-IY1 G-IH1-V Z-Y-UW1 S-OW1 M-AH1-CH


... joy. and she hosted stand up tragedy one night, this year. but for this-

JH-OY1 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 HH-OW1-S T-IH0-D-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 W-AH1-N N-AY1-T DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1-R B-AH1-T F-AO1-R DH-IH1-S


... for us. it was for tragic heroes.

F-AO1 R-AH1 S-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z F-AO1-R T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K HH-IH1 R-OW0-Z


and it breaks my heart. i don't want-

AH0-N D-IH1-T B-R-EY1-K S-M-AY1 HH-AA1-R T-AY1 D-AA1-N T-W-AA1-N-T


[inaudible 00:05:55].

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z F-AY1 V-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 F-AY1-V S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


quickly that, isn't it? [inaudible 00:06:01] happy men, don't we? because that's also-

K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 DH-AE1 T-IH1 S-AH0-N T-IH1 T-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-IH1-K S-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N D-W-AH1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D HH-AE1 P-IY0 M-EH1-N D-AA1-N T-W-IY1 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z TH-AE1-T S-AO1-L S-OW0


... who goes there?


you flash ahead of me, like a flare.

Y-UW1 F-L-AE1 SH-AH0 HH-EH1 D-AH1 V-M-IY1 L-AY1 K-AH0 F-L-EH1-R


so who goes there? who's that up ahead?

S-OW1 HH-UW1 G-OW1-Z DH-EH1-R HH-UW1-Z DH-AE1 T-AH1 P-AH0 HH-EH1-D


where's the fun that you found? that mischief you-

W-EH1-R-Z DH-AH0 F-AH1-N DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 F-AW1-N-D DH-AE1 T-M-IH1-S CH-AH0 F-Y-UW1


... chased. patted down, underground, wiggle out with your hand on.

CH-EY1-S-T P-AE1 T-AH0-D D-AW1 N-AH1-N D-ER0 G-R-AW2-N D-W-IH1 G-AH0 L-AW1 T-W-IH1 DH-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N D-AA1-N


who's that up ahead, with his feet in the clouds and his face in the air?

HH-UW1-Z DH-AE1 T-AH1 P-AH0 HH-EH1 D-W-IH1-DH HH-IH1-Z F-IY1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 K-L-AW1-D Z-AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z F-EY1 S-IH0-N DH-AH0 EH1-R


and picked up your life in both hands.

AH0-N-D P-IH1-K T-AH1 P-Y-AO1-R L-AY1 F-IH0-N B-OW1-TH HH-AE1-N-D-Z


... an amazing performer, who you don't get to see as much.no.

AE1 N-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 HH-UW1 Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T G-EH1-T T-UW1 S-IY1 AE1 Z-M-AH1 K-N-OW0


but when he performs, he is excellent.i think-

B-AH1 T-W-EH1-N HH-IY1 P-ER0 F-AO1-R-M-Z HH-IY1 IH1 Z-EH0-K S-EH0 L-EH1-N T-IY0 TH-IH1-NG-K


... i think you can hear him perform at tragedy fails better. one of our other mashups.

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N HH-IY1-R HH-IH1-M P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-AE1-T T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 F-EY1-L-Z B-EH1 T-ER0 W-AH1 N-AH1 V-AW1 ER0 AH1 DH-ER0 M-AE1 SH-UW0-P-S


this may be the last time stand up tragedy's hearing me-

DH-IH1 S-M-EY1 B-IY1 DH-AH0 L-AE1-S-T T-AY1-M-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0-Z HH-IY1 R-IH0-NG M-IY1


... unless some tragedy befalls us.and you know-knock wood.

AH0 N-L-EH1-S S-AH1-M T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 B-IH0 F-AO1-L Z-Y-UW1 AE1-N D-Y-UW1 N-AA1 K-N-AA2 K-W-UH1-D


you're saying-... keeping all the whole... making sure that-all of the-

Y-UH1-R S-EY1 IH0-NG K-IY1 P-IH0 NG-AO1-L DH-AH0 HH-OW1-L M-EY1 K-IH0-NG SH-UH1-R T-AE1 T-AH0 L-AH1-V DH-AH0


... and how can people find you, liz, and stuff like that, if they would like to pressurize you still to start a show.

AH0-N-D HH-AW1 K-AE1-N P-IY1 P-AH0-L F-AY1-N D-Y-UW1 L-IH1 Z-AH0-N-D-S T-AH1 F-L-AY1-K DH-AE1 T-IH1-F DH-EY1 W-UH1 D-L-AY1-K T-UW1 P-R-EH1 SH-ER0 AY2 Z-Y-UW1-S T-IH1-L T-UW1-S T-AA1-R T-AH0 SH-OW1


so in the future times-

S-OW1 IH0-N DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0 T-AY1-M-Z


... whilst i am beginning to focus more in on my academic career-

W-AY1-L-S T-AY1 AE1-M B-IH0 G-IH1 N-IH0-NG T-UW1 F-OW1 K-AH0 S-M-AO1 R-IH0 N-AA1-N M-AY1 AE2 K-AH0 D-EH1 M-IH0-K K-ER0 IH1-R


... i am going to be more on the social medias.

AY1 AE1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 M-AO1 R-AA1-N DH-AH0 S-OW1 SH-AH0-L M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-S


currently, that may come in the future, but i will... i am on twitter, and i will be being more active. and if you want to hear some of my thoughts about policy. but also, i'm quite interested in the arts, and i will be-

K-ER1 AH0-N T-L-IY0 DH-AE1 T-M-EY1 K-AH1 M-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0 B-AH1 T-AY1 W-IH1 L-AY1 AE1 M-AA1-N T-W-IH1 T-ER0 AH0-N D-AY1 W-IH1-L B-IY1 B-IY1 IH0-NG M-AO1 R-AE1-K T-IH0 V-AH0-N D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 HH-IY1-R S-AH1 M-AH1 V-M-AY1 TH-AO1-T S-AH0 B-AW1-T P-AA1 L-AH0 S-IY0 B-AH1 T-AO1-L S-OW0 IH1-M K-W-AY1 T-IH1-N T-R-AH0-S T-AH0 D-IH0-N DH-AH0 AA1-R-T S-AH0-N D-AY1 W-IH1-L B-IY1


... keeping engaging with that, and keeping my eye on what dave's doing, and pushing you towards that. so, if you want to follow me on twitter-

K-IY1 P-IH0 NG-EH0-N G-EY1 JH-IH0 NG-W-IH1-DH DH-AE1 T-AH0-N-D K-IY1 P-IH0-NG M-AY1 AY1 AA1 N-W-AH1-T D-EY1-V-Z D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0-N-D P-UH1 SH-IH0 NG-Y-UW1 T-AH0 W-AO1-R-D-Z DH-AE1-T S-OW1 IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 F-AA1 L-OW0 M-IY1 AA1-N T-W-IH1 T-ER0


... gray. and i'm also on linkedin, which i'm told is not cool.

G-R-EY1 AH0-N D-IH1 M-AO1-L S-OW0 AA1 N-L-IH1-NG K-IH0 D-IH0 N-W-IH1 CH-IH1-M T-OW1-L D-IH1 Z-N-AA1-T K-UW1-L


it ain't cool.it is cool. you can also find me on linkedin, if you want to know more about me. and academically, it's cool.

IH1 T-EY1-N-T K-UW1 L-IH0 T-IH1-Z K-UW1 L-Y-UW1 K-AE1 N-AO1-L S-OW0 F-AY1-N D-M-IY1 AA1 N-L-IH1-NG K-IH0 D-IH0 N-IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 N-OW1 M-AO1 R-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-IY1 AH0-N D-AE2 K-AH0 D-EH1 M-IH0 K-L-IY0 IH1-T-S K-UW1-L


... of your specials with stand up tragedy. you will always be special to stand up tragedy.

AH1 V-Y-AO1-R-S P-EH1 SH-AH0-L Z-W-IH1-DH-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 Y-UW1 W-IH1 L-AO1 L-W-EY2-Z B-IY1-S P-EH1 SH-AH0-L T-UW1-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0


... as well as in autumn. but i wouldn't want to see autumn go away. i would be sad about that. so-

AE1 Z-W-EH1 L-AE1 Z-IH0 N-AO1 T-AH0-M B-AH1 T-AY1 W-UH1 D-L-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 S-IY1 AO1 T-AH0-M G-OW1 AH0 W-EY1 AY1 W-UH1-D B-IY1 S-AE1 D-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1-T S-OW1


... right. so we're going to have three more performers doing some tragedy around the concept of tragic fall.

R-AY1-T S-OW1 W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1-V TH-R-IY1 M-AO1-R P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0-Z D-UW1 IH0-NG S-AH1-M T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 ER0 AW1-N-D DH-AH0 K-AA1-N S-EH0-P T-AH1-V T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K F-AO1-L


the first one of them, you can find him @jamesharrisnow on twitter. put your hands together everyone, for-

DH-AH0 F-ER1-S T-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-EH1 M-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N F-AY1-N-D HH-IH1-M JH-AE2 M-AH0-S B-ER0 W-IY1 S-OW0 AA1-N T-W-IH1 T-ER0 P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N F-AO1-R


okay. language learning in this country is, it seems dead.

OW2 K-EY1 L-AE1-NG G-W-AH0 JH-L-ER1 N-IH0 NG-IH0-N DH-IH1-S K-AH1-N T-R-IY0 IH1 Z-IH1-T S-IY1-M-Z D-EH1-D


it means, to understand everything is to forgive everything.

IH1 T-M-IY1-N-Z T-UW1 AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N D-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-IH1-Z T-UW1 F-ER0 G-IH1 V-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2-NG


about 12 years ago, i was working for social services in nottingham. and i have to be honest-

AH0 B-AW1-T T-W-EH1-L V-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 AY1 W-AA1 Z-W-ER1 K-IH0-NG F-AO1-R S-OW1 SH-AH0-L S-ER1 V-AH0 S-AH0 Z-IH0-N N-AA1 T-IH0-NG HH-AE2 M-AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 B-IY1 AA1 N-AH0-S-T


... a lot of my wages were taken up by the bus ride to work.

AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1 V-M-AY1 W-EY1 JH-AH0 Z-W-ER0 T-EY1 K-AH0 N-AH1-P B-AY1 DH-AH0 B-AH1 S-R-AY1-D T-UW1 W-ER1-K


i couldn't drive. and after i had rearranged their entire filing cabinet system, which hadn't been done since the 1980s-

AY1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N-T D-R-AY1 V-AH0-N D-AE1-F T-ER0 AY1 HH-AE1 D-R-IY2 ER0 EY1-N-JH-D DH-EH1 R-IH0-N T-AY1 ER0 F-AY1 L-IH0-NG K-AE1 B-AH0 N-AH0-T S-IH1-S T-AH0 M-W-IH1-CH HH-AE1 D-AH0-N-T B-IH1-N D-AH1-N S-IH1-N-S DH-AH0 N-AY1-N T-IY1 N-EY1 T-IY0-Z


... there wasn't really much for me to do, except sit at my desk and pretend-

DH-EH1 R-W-AO1-S T-R-IH1 L-IY0 M-AH1-CH F-AO1-R M-IY1 T-UW1 D-UW1 IH0-K S-EH1-P-T S-IH1 T-AE1 T-M-AY1 D-EH1-S K-AH0-N-D P-R-IY0 T-EH1-N-D


and it struck me, as i heard the woodpecker, that a few months earlier-

AH0-N D-IH1-T-S T-R-AH1 K-M-IY1 AE1 Z-AY1 HH-ER1-D DH-AH0 W-UH1-D P-EH2 K-ER0 DH-AE1 T-AH0 F-Y-UW1 M-AH1-N-TH S-ER1 L-IY0 ER0


... i had been a high flying graduate in an elite university.

AY1 HH-AE1-D B-IH1 N-AH0 HH-AY1 F-L-AY1 IH0-NG G-R-AE1 JH-AH0 W-AH0 T-IH0 N-AE1 N-IH0 L-IY1 T-Y-UW2 N-AH0 V-ER1 S-AH0 T-IY0


i had performed with great distinction in my exams.

AY1 HH-AE1-D P-ER0 F-AO1-R-M D-W-IH1-DH G-R-EY1-T D-IH0-S T-IH1-NG-K SH-AH0 N-IH0-N M-AY1 IH0-G Z-AE1-M-Z


i was the president of the university sketch society-

AY1 W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 P-R-EH1 Z-AH0 D-EH2-N T-AH1-V DH-AH0 Y-UW2 N-AH0 V-ER1 S-AH0 T-IY0-S K-EH1-CH S-AH0 S-AY1 AH0 T-IY0


... and i had a beautiful girlfriend.

AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L G-ER1-L F-R-EH2-N-D


i had dropped out of my university due to academic difficulties.

AY1 HH-AE1-D D-R-AA1-P T-AW1 T-AH1 V-M-AY1 Y-UW2 N-AH0 V-ER1 S-AH0 T-IY0 D-UW1 T-UW1 AE2 K-AH0 D-EH1 M-IH0-K D-IH1 F-AH0 K-AH0-L T-IY0-Z


my sketch review show had been marked by several hundred people walking out.

M-AY1-S K-EH1 CH-R-IY2 V-Y-UW1 SH-OW1 HH-AE1-D B-IH1-N M-AA1-R-K-T B-AY1 S-EH1 V-R-AH0-L HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0-D P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AW1-T


you hear something you said in the past, and you literally cannot believe that you said it.

Y-UW1 HH-IY1-R S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-Y-UW1 S-EH1 D-IH0-N DH-AH0 P-AE1-S T-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 L-IH1 T-ER0 AH0 L-IY0 K-AE1 N-AA0-T B-IH0 L-IY1-V DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 S-EH1 D-IH1-T


you cannot believe that you were ever so innocent as to be able to say something like that.

Y-UW1 K-AE1 N-AA0-T B-IH0 L-IY1-V DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 W-ER0 EH1 V-ER0 S-OW1 IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N T-AE1-Z T-UW1 B-IY1 EY1 B-AH0-L T-UW1 S-EY1 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-L-AY1-K DH-AE1-T


because since then, i have both left and been left in a great many relationships.

B-IH0 K-AO1-Z S-IH1-N-S DH-EH1 N-AY1 HH-AE1-V B-OW1 TH-L-EH1-F T-AH0-N-D B-IH1 N-L-EH1-F T-IH0 N-AH0 G-R-EY1 T-M-EH1 N-IY0 R-IY0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-IH2-P-S


in fact, i worked out recently that it is now exactly 50/50.

IH0-N F-AE1-K T-AY1 W-ER1-K T-AW1 T-R-IY1 S-AH0-N T-L-IY0 DH-AE1 T-IH1 T-IH1 Z-N-AW1 IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 F-IH1-F T-IY0 F-IH1-F T-IH0 SH-AH0-Z


so you could say, folks, that the next one is the tiebreaker.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-UH1-D S-EY1 F-OW1-K-S DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S T-W-AH1 N-IH1-Z DH-AH0 T-IY1 B-R-IY0 K-ER0


i actually find the idea that you couldn't survive a relationship-

AY1 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 F-AY1-N-D DH-AH0 AY0 D-IY1 AH0 DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N-T S-ER0 V-AY1 V-AH0 R-IY0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-IH2-P


... that you couldn't live without someone, rather charming.

DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-L-AY1 V-W-IH0 TH-AW1-T S-AH1 M-W-AH2 N-R-AE1 DH-ER0 CH-AA1-R M-IH0-NG


i imagine sort of going to see my friend in the pub, like-

AY1 IH0 M-AE1 JH-AH0-N S-AO1-R T-AH1-V G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-IY1 M-AY1 F-R-EH1-N D-IH0-N DH-AH0 P-AH1 B-L-AY1-K


"hey steve, how are ya? where's dave?" and he's like, "oh yeah-"

HH-EY1-S T-IY1-V HH-AW1 AA1 R-Y-AA1 W-EH1-R-Z D-EY1 V-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 Z-L-AY1 K-OW1 Y-AE1


"dave died. yeah. mandy left him."

D-EY1-V D-AY1 D-Y-AE1 M-AE1-N D-IY0 L-EH1-F-T HH-IH1-M


"she walked out the door, he died instantly."

SH-IY1 W-AO1-K T-AW1-T DH-AH0 D-AO1-R HH-IY1 D-AY1 D-IH1-N-S T-AH0-N T-L-IY0


"complete heart failure, that's how it happened."

K-AH0-M P-L-IY1-T HH-AA1-R-T F-EY1 L-Y-ER0 TH-AE1-T-S HH-AW1 IH1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D


"he just couldn't live without her." reminds me of a line of the poet w.h. auden, which is, "millions have lived without love. not one without water."

HH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-L-AY1 V-W-IH0 TH-AW1-T HH-ER0 R-IY0 M-AY1-N-D Z-M-IY1 AH1 V-AH0 L-AY1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 P-OW1 AH0 T-W-AH1 AO1 D-AH0 N-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-M-IH1 L-Y-AH0-N-Z HH-AE1 V-L-AY1-V D-W-IH0 TH-AW1 T-L-AH1 V-N-AA1 T-W-AH1 N-W-IH0 TH-AW1 T-W-AO1 T-ER0


what i'm talking about here is a loss of innocence, a loss of innocence-

W-AH1 T-IH1-M T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IY1 R-IH1 Z-AH0 L-AO1 S-AH1 V-IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N S-AH0 L-AO1 S-AH1 V-IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N-S


this is, the loss of innocence is of course called the fall. it goes right the way back to the garden of eden, and the fall, as i'm sure you all know, was a decision of adam and eve to eat-

DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 L-AO1 S-AH1 V-IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N S-IH1 Z-AH1-V K-AO1-R-S K-AO1-L-D DH-AH0 F-AO1 L-IH1-T G-OW1 Z-R-AY1-T DH-AH0 W-EY1 B-AE1-K T-UW1 DH-AH0 G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-AH1 V-IY1 D-AH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 F-AO1 L-AE1 Z-IH1-M SH-UH1 R-Y-UW1 AO1-L N-OW1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 D-IH0 S-IH1 ZH-AH0 N-AH1 V-AE1 D-AH0 M-AH0-N D-IY1-V T-UW1 IY1-T


... the apple. now, first of all, i have some objections.

DH-AH0 AE1 P-AH0-L N-AW1 F-ER1-S T-AH1 V-AO1 L-AY1 HH-AE1-V S-AH1 M-AH0-B JH-EH1-K SH-AH0-N-Z


if god had not wanted them to eat-

IH1-F G-AA1-D HH-AE1 D-N-AA1 T-W-AA1-N T-AH0-D DH-EH1-M T-UW1 IY1-T


i mean, the apple is no use to god.

AY1 M-IY1-N DH-AH0 AE1 P-AH0 L-IH1 Z-N-OW1 Y-UW1-S T-UW1 G-AA1-D


the apple of knowledge, god already knows everything anyway.

DH-AH0 AE1 P-AH0 L-AH1 V-N-AA1 L-AH0-JH G-AA1 D-AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 N-OW1 Z-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


if god eats the apple of knowledge, he's just hungry, whereas adam and eve-

IH1-F G-AA1 D-IY1-T-S DH-AH0 AE1 P-AH0 L-AH1 V-N-AA1 L-AH0-JH HH-IY1-Z JH-AH1-S-T HH-AH1-NG G-R-IY0 W-EH0 R-AE1 Z-AE1 D-AH0 M-AH0-N D-IY1-V


... it is of course in their nature to eat the apple because they're human and they're curious. if they weren't-

IH1 T-IH1 Z-AH1-V K-AO1-R S-IH0-N DH-EH1-R N-EY1 CH-ER0 T-UW1 IY1-T DH-AH0 AE1 P-AH0-L B-IH0 K-AO1-Z TH-EH1-R HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0 N-AH0-N-D TH-EH1-R K-Y-UH1 R-IY0 AH0 S-IH1-F DH-EY1 W-EH1 R-AH0-N-T


so i think that growing up is inevitably-

S-OW1 AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K DH-AE1-T G-R-OW1 IH0 NG-AH1 P-IH1 Z-IH0 N-EH1 V-AH0 T-AH0 B-L-IY0


... a fall. growing up is inevitably a loss of innocence.

AH0 F-AO1-L G-R-OW1 IH0 NG-AH1 P-IH1 Z-IH0 N-EH1 V-AH0 T-AH0 B-L-IY0 AH0 L-AO1 S-AH1 V-IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N-S


and there are people who refuse this. there are people who refuse this loss of innocence.

AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-AA1-R P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-UW1 R-IH0 F-Y-UW1-Z DH-IH1-S DH-EH1 R-AA1-R P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-UW1 R-IH0 F-Y-UW1-Z DH-IH1 S-L-AO1 S-AH1 V-IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N-S


i'm thinking about people like the 18th century-

AY1 AE1-M TH-IH1-NG K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T P-IY1 P-AH0-L L-AY1-K DH-AH0 EY0 T-IY1-N-TH S-EH1-N CH-ER0 IY0


he was so upset when he was exposed as a literary fraud.

HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z S-OW1 AH1-P S-EH2 T-W-EH1-N HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0-K-S P-OW1-Z D-AE1 Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-ER0 EH2 R-IY0 F-R-AO1-D


he drank arsenic at the age of 17.

HH-IY1 D-R-AE1-NG K-AA1-R S-AH0 N-IH0 K-AE1-T DH-AH0 EY1 JH-AH1-V S-EH1 V-AH0-N T-IY1-N


exactly. or the writer, john kennedy toole, right? he was so upset that someone had refused for publication-

IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 AO1-R DH-AH0 R-AY1 T-ER0 JH-AA1-N K-EH1 N-AH0 D-IY0 T-UW1-L R-AY1-T HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z S-OW1 AH1-P S-EH2-T DH-AE1-T S-AH1 M-W-AH2-N HH-AE1 D-R-AH0 F-Y-UW1-Z-D F-AO1-R P-AH2 B-L-IH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0-N


... his novel, a confederacy of dunces that he committed suicide at the age of 31.

HH-IH1 Z-N-AA1 V-AH0 L-AH0 K-AH0-N F-EH1 D-ER0 AH0 S-IY0 AH1-V D-AH1-N S-IH0-Z DH-AE1-T HH-IY1 K-AH0 M-IH1 T-AH0-D S-UW1 AH0 S-AY2 D-AE1-T DH-AH0 EY1 JH-AH1-V TH-ER1 D-IY0 W-AH1-N


... a very different individual, because he would have gone on and he would have compromised. so what i'm saying is this loss of innocence is part of survival, and-

AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-IH2-N D-AH0 V-IH1 JH-AH0 W-AH0-L B-IH0 K-AO1-Z HH-IY1 W-UH1-D HH-AE1-V G-AO1 N-AA1 N-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-UH1-D HH-AE1-V K-AA1-M P-R-AH0 M-AY2-Z-D S-OW1 W-AH1 T-IH1-M S-EY1 IH0 NG-IH1-Z DH-IH1 S-L-AO1 S-AH1 V-IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N S-IH1-Z P-AA1-R T-AH1-V S-ER0 V-AY1 V-AH0 L-AH0-N-D


let's say you have a chat with me after the show.

L-EH1-T-S S-EY1 Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 CH-AE1 T-W-IH1 DH-M-IY1 AE1-F T-ER0 DH-AH0 SH-OW1


i think you might find that i'm, and i would like to, obviously. i will be hanging around.

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-Y-UW1 M-AY1-T F-AY1-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1 M-AH0-N D-AY1 W-UH1 D-L-AY1-K T-UW1 AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 AY1 W-IH1-L B-IY1 HH-AE1 NG-IH0 NG-ER0 AW1-N-D


i think you might find that i'm quite a cynical individual and it's true.

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-Y-UW1 M-AY1-T F-AY1-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1-M K-W-AY1 T-AH0 S-IH1 N-IH0 K-AH0 L-IH2-N D-AH0 V-IH1 JH-AH0 W-AH0 L-AH0-N D-IH1-T-S T-R-UW1


i am rather cynical. i don't believe in much. i don't believe in jeremy corbyn.

AY1 AE1 M-R-AE1 DH-ER0 S-IH1 N-IH0 K-AH0 L-AY1 D-AA1-N-T B-IH0 L-IY1 V-IH0-N M-AH1 CH-AY1 D-AA1-N-T B-IH0 L-IY1 V-IH0-N JH-EH1 R-AH0 M-IY0 K-AO1-R B-IH0-N


i don't believe in marriage and children.

AY1 D-AA1-N-T B-IH0 L-IY1 V-IH0-N M-EH1 R-IH0 JH-AH0-N-D CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N


i don't even particularly believe in what i'm saying now.

AY1 D-AA1-N T-IY1 V-IH0-N P-AA2-R T-IH1 K-Y-AH0 L-ER0 L-IY0 B-IH0 L-IY1 V-IH0 N-W-AH1 T-IH1-M S-EY1 IH0-NG N-AW1


i don't have many great beliefs, okay? but what i'm saying is, if you understood what had preceded this, if you had understood everything that had happened to me-

AY1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1 V-M-EH1 N-IY0 G-R-EY1-T B-IH0 L-IY1-F S-OW2 K-EY1 B-AH1 T-W-AH1 T-IH1-M S-EY1 IH0 NG-IH1 Z-IH1 F-Y-UW1 AH2-N D-ER0-S T-UH1 D-W-AH1-T HH-AE1-D P-R-IH0 S-IY1 D-IH0-D DH-IH1 S-IH1 F-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 D-AH2-N D-ER0-S T-UH1 D-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2-NG DH-AE1-T HH-AE1-D HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D T-UW1 M-IY1


... you would understand why i am like i am. and there is no alternative to be me being like i am or not being here at all.

Y-UW1 W-UH1 D-AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N D-W-AY1 AY1 AE1 M-L-AY1 K-AY1 AE1 M-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-IH1 Z-N-OW1 AO0-L T-ER1 N-AH0 T-IH0-V T-UW1 B-IY1 M-IY1 B-IY1 IH0 NG-L-AY1 K-AY1 AE1 M-AO1-R N-AA1-T B-IY1 IH0-NG HH-IY1 R-AE1 T-AO1-L


that's the only other option. to exist, to survive, is to fall.

TH-AE1-T-S DH-AH0 OW1 N-L-IY0 AH1 DH-ER0 AA1-P SH-AH0-N T-UW1 IH0-G Z-IH1-S-T T-UW1 S-ER0 V-AY1 V-IH1-Z T-UW1 F-AO1-L


i wrote a poem a few years ago, which expresses this, and i do actually believe this is quite a good poem.

AY1 R-OW1 T-AH0 P-OW1 AH0 M-AH0 F-Y-UW1 Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 W-IH1 CH-IH0-K-S P-R-EH1 S-AH0-Z DH-IH1 S-AH0-N D-AY1 D-UW1 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 B-IH0 L-IY1-V DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z K-W-AY1 T-AH0 G-UH1-D P-OW1 AH0-M


so i'm going to say that poem now. the poem is called the wilderness. the wilderness.

S-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-EY1 DH-AE1-T P-OW1 AH0-M N-AW1 DH-AH0 P-OW1 AH0 M-IH1-Z K-AO1-L-D DH-AH0 W-IH1-L D-ER0 N-AH0-S DH-AH0 W-IH1-L D-ER0 N-AH0-S


you helped me through the death of friends. because of you-

Y-UW1 HH-EH1-L-P T-M-IY1 TH-R-UW1 DH-AH0 D-EH1 TH-AH1-V F-R-EH1-N-D-Z B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AH1 V-Y-UW1


... the wilderness and thoughts of love.

DH-AH0 W-IH1-L D-ER0 N-AH0 S-AH0-N-D TH-AO1-T S-AH1 V-L-AH1-V


so, i'm happy to say that 12 years later i am in a much better situation.

S-OW1 AY1 AE1-M HH-AE1 P-IY0 T-UW1 S-EY1 DH-AE1-T T-W-EH1-L V-Y-IH1-R Z-L-EY1 T-ER0 AY1 AE1 M-IH0 N-AH0 M-AH1-CH B-EH1 T-ER0 S-IH2 CH-UW0 EY1 SH-AH0-N


... i've been working on for many years. by finished, i mean it has to be massively written still, but-

AY1-V B-IH1 N-W-ER1 K-IH0 NG-AA1-N F-AO1-R M-EH1 N-IY0 Y-IH1-R-Z B-AY1 F-IH1 N-IH0-SH T-AY1 M-IY1 N-IH1-T HH-AE1-Z T-UW1 B-IY1 M-AE1 S-IH0 V-L-IY0 R-IH1 T-AH0-N-S T-IH1-L B-AH1-T


... it's a relative situation, and i'm genuinely glad to have carried on, but i've never recovered-

IH1-T S-AH0 R-EH1 L-AH0 T-IH0-V S-IH2 CH-UW0 EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N D-IH1-M JH-EH1 N-Y-AH0 W-AH0 N-L-IY0 G-L-AE1-D T-UW1 HH-AE1-V K-AE1 R-IY0 D-AA1-N B-AH1 T-AY1 V-N-EH1 V-ER0 R-AH0 K-AH1 V-ER0-D


...the innocence, which i lost at that time. that has never come back to me because i could always see in my head-

DH-AH0 IH1 N-AH0 S-AH0-N S-W-IH1 CH-AY1 L-AO1-S T-AE1-T DH-AE1-T T-AY1-M DH-AE1-T HH-AE1 Z-N-EH1 V-ER0 K-AH1-M B-AE1-K T-UW1 M-IY1 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 K-UH1 D-AO1 L-W-EY2-Z S-IY1 IH0-N M-AY1 HH-EH1-D


... the image of that person working for social services-

DH-AH0 IH1 M-AH0 JH-AH1-V DH-AE1-T P-ER1 S-AH0 N-W-ER1 K-IH0-NG F-AO1-R S-OW1 SH-AH0-L S-ER1 V-AH0 S-AH0-Z


... looking out on the garden at the woodpecker, going-

L-UH1 K-IH0 NG-AW1 T-AA1-N DH-AH0 G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-AE1-T DH-AH0 W-UH1-D P-EH2 K-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG


... the coming of wisdom with time,

DH-AH0 K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-AH1 V-W-IH1-Z D-AH0 M-W-IH1-DH T-AY1-M


though leaves are many. the root is one.

DH-OW1 L-IY1-V Z-AA1-R M-EH1 N-IY0 DH-AH0 R-UW1 T-IH1 Z-W-AH1-N


he is obviously, he's a writer, he's also a comedian, he does lots of things, you should check out what he does. right. okay. so our next performer of tr-

HH-IY1 IH1 Z-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 HH-IY1 Z-AH0 R-AY1 T-ER0 HH-IY1 Z-AO1-L S-OW0 AH0 K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-N HH-IY1 D-AH1 Z-L-AA1-T S-AH1-V TH-IH1-NG Z-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D CH-EH1 K-AW1 T-W-AH1-T HH-IY1 D-AH1 Z-R-AY1 T-OW2 K-EY1 S-OW1 AW1 ER0 N-EH1-K-S-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 AH1-V T-ER1


sometimes you just have to have these awkward moments on stages with loads of people looking at you.

S-AH0-M T-AY1-M Z-Y-UW1 JH-AH1-S-T HH-AE1-V T-UW1 HH-AE1-V DH-IY1 Z-AA1 K-W-ER0 D-M-OW1 M-AH0-N-T S-AA1-N-S T-EY1 JH-AH0 Z-W-IH1 DH-L-OW1-D Z-AH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0-L L-UH1 K-IH0 NG-AE1 T-Y-UW1


... isn't going to fall off... you know?

IH1 S-AH0-N-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 F-AO1 L-AO1 F-Y-UW1 N-OW1


... thanks. ah, thanks for that great sales pitch. can i just, i just want to thank you for that because... whatever. how are you doing?

TH-AE1-NG-K S-AA1 TH-AE1-NG-K-S F-AO1-R DH-AE1-T G-R-EY1-T S-EY1-L-Z P-IH1-CH K-AE1 N-AY1 JH-AH1-S T-AY1 JH-AH1-S T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 F-AO1-R DH-AE1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-W-AH2 T-EH1 V-ER0 HH-AW1 AA1 R-Y-UW1 D-UW1 IH0-NG


... stable ground of absolute zero where we can-

S-T-EY1 B-AH0-L G-R-AW1-N D-AH1 V-AE1-B S-AH0 L-UW2-T Z-IH1 R-OW0 W-EH1 R-W-IY1 K-AE1-N


... and find the beauty. the problem with me right now with this gig is i'm really happy. i'm really-

AH0-N-D F-AY1-N-D DH-AH0 B-Y-UW1 T-IY0 DH-AH0 P-R-AA1 B-L-AH0 M-W-IH1 DH-M-IY1 R-AY1 T-N-AW1 W-IH1-DH DH-IH1-S G-IH1 G-IH1 Z-IH1 M-R-IH1 L-IY0 HH-AE1 P-IY0 IH1 M-R-IH1 L-IY0


... in happy. that's very emotionally needy, but i am very happy, okay?

IH0-N HH-AE1 P-IY0 TH-AE1-T-S V-EH1 R-IY0 IH0 M-OW1 SH-N-AH0 L-IY0 N-IY1 D-IY0 B-AH1 T-AY1 AE1-M V-EH1 R-IY0 HH-AE1 P-IY0 OW2 K-EY1


one of those great dutch bonding experiences that you have with the elderly relative about class a drugs.

W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-OW1-Z G-R-EY1-T D-AH1-CH B-AA1-N D-IH0 NG-IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-IH0-Z DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 EH1-L D-ER0 L-IY0 R-EH1 L-AH0 T-IH0 V-AH0 B-AW1-T K-L-AE1 S-AH0 D-R-AH1-G-Z


if you don't know what that is, i'll sort of [inaudible 00:06:36] that for you too. this happened-

IH1 F-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 W-AH1-T DH-AE1 T-IH1 Z-IH1-L S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-IH1-K S-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 S-IH1-K-S S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z DH-AE1-T F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 T-UW1 DH-IH1-S HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D


... about five years ago, i was living in brighton then, and two things happened at the same time. one-

AH0 B-AW1-T F-AY1 V-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 AY1 W-AA1 Z-L-IH1 V-IH0 NG-IH0-N B-R-AY1 T-AH0-N DH-EH1 N-AH0-N-D T-UW1 TH-IH1-NG-Z HH-AE1 P-AH0-N D-AE1-T DH-AH0 S-EY1-M T-AY1 M-W-AH1-N


the first snowflake of the year came tumbling down.

DH-AH0 F-ER1-S-T S-N-OW1 F-L-EY2 K-AH1-V DH-AH0 Y-IH1-R K-EY1-M T-AH1-M B-AH0 L-IH0-NG D-AW1-N


... and i saw a pound coin on the floor.

AH0-N D-AY1 S-AO1 AH0 P-AW1-N-D K-OY1 N-AA1-N DH-AH0 F-L-AO1-R


and i picked it up.


i hope you like it. i hope you jump down and your head just blows off and hits a horse in the face and then six elderly japanese touri-

AY1 HH-OW1 P-Y-UW1 L-AY1 K-IH1 T-AY1 HH-OW1 P-Y-UW1 JH-AH1-M-P D-AW1 N-AH0-N D-Y-AO1-R HH-EH1-D JH-AH1-S-T B-L-OW1 Z-AO1 F-AH0-N-D HH-IH1-T S-AH0 HH-AO1-R S-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-EY1 S-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N S-IH1-K S-EH1-L D-ER0 L-IY0 JH-AE2 P-AH0 N-IY1-Z T-UH1 R-IY0


no, actually you've been very, very nice. you're busy going... a man over there.

N-OW1 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 Y-UW1-V B-IH1-N V-EH1 R-IY0 V-EH1 R-IY0 N-AY1 S-Y-UH1-R B-IH1 Z-IY0 G-OW1 IH0 NG-AH0 M-AE1 N-OW1 V-ER0 DH-EH1-R


... is literally sleeping on his girlfriend's shoulder. hello, sir. good morning.

IH1 Z-L-IH1 T-ER0 AH0 L-IY0 S-L-IY1 P-IH0 NG-AA1-N HH-IH1-Z G-ER1-L F-R-EH2-N-D-Z SH-OW1-L D-ER0 HH-AH0 L-OW1 S-ER1 G-UH1 D-M-AO1-R N-IH0-NG


think about that. it's not japan in 1998. come on.

TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1 T-IH1-T S-N-AA1-T JH-AH0 P-AE1 N-IH0-N N-AY1-N T-IY1-N N-AY1-N T-IY0 EY1-T K-AH1 M-AA1-N


i am going to tell you a story now, and it is a story-

AY1 AE1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0 N-AW1 AH0-N D-IH1 T-IH1 Z-AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0


... in through the window, turning the edges of everything gray with a reminder that-

IH0-N TH-R-UW1 DH-AH0 W-IH1-N D-OW0 T-ER1 N-IH0-NG DH-AH0 EH1 JH-AH0 Z-AH1 V-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2-NG G-R-EY1 W-IH1 DH-AH0 R-IY0 M-AY1-N D-ER0 DH-AE1-T


oh, look, it's daytime outside and other people are starting their lives and you guys are-

OW1 L-UH1 K-IH1-T-S D-EY1 T-AY2 M-AW1-T S-AY1 D-AH0-N D-AH1 DH-ER0 P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AA1-R-S T-AA1-R T-IH0-NG DH-EH1-R L-IH1-V Z-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-AA1-R


i felt worn out, and i was getting ready to admit social defeat when my old friend looked at me, yawned and said-

AY1 F-EH1-L T-W-AO1-R N-AW1 T-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1-Z G-EH1 T-IH0 NG-R-EH1 D-IY0 T-UW1 AH0 D-M-IH1-T S-OW1 SH-AH0-L D-IH0 F-IY1 T-W-EH1-N M-AY1 OW1-L-D F-R-EH1-N D-L-UH1-K T-AE1 T-M-IY1 Y-AO1-N D-AH0-N-D S-EH1-D


"so, are you ready to take me home yet?"

S-OW1 AA1 R-Y-UW1 R-EH1 D-IY0 T-UW1 T-EY1 K-M-IY1 HH-OW1 M-Y-EH1-T


at 6:00 am, i pretty much always am. so he left first to avoid arousing suspicion, and that is-

AE1-T S-IH1-K S-AE1 M-AY1 P-R-IH1 T-IY0 M-AH1 CH-AO1 L-W-EY2 Z-AE1-M S-OW1 HH-IY1 L-EH1-F-T F-ER1-S-T T-UW1 AH0 V-OY1 D-ER0 AW1 Z-IH0-NG S-AH0-S P-IH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1-Z


leo. the older gentleman hosting the party.

L-IY1 OW0 DH-AH0 OW1-L D-ER0 JH-EH1-N T-AH0-L M-AH0-N HH-OW1-S T-IH0-NG DH-AH0 P-AA1-R T-IY0


he was generous. he was a good man and his children, just like the much younger women who frequently followed him into bathrooms would want-

HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z JH-EH1 N-ER0 AH0-S HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 G-UH1 D-M-AE1 N-AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N JH-AH1-S T-L-AY1-K DH-AH0 M-AH1 CH-Y-AH1-NG G-ER0 W-IH1 M-AH0-N HH-UW1 F-R-IY1 K-W-AH0-N T-L-IY0 F-AA1 L-OW0-D HH-IH1 M-IH0-N T-UW1 B-AE1 TH-R-UW2-M Z-W-UH1 D-W-AA1-N-T


... started to kick in at this point, so there was rapid nudity and mouth stuff done through dangerously grinding teeth. and then i climbed on top-

S-T-AA1-R T-AH0-D T-UW1 K-IH1 K-IH0 N-AE1-T DH-IH1-S P-OY1-N-T S-OW1 DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-R-AE1 P-AH0 D-N-UW1 D-IH0 T-IY0 AH0-N D-M-AW1-DH-S T-AH1-F D-AH1-N TH-R-UW1 D-EY1-N JH-ER0 AH0 S-L-IY0 G-R-AY1-N D-IH0-NG T-IY1 TH-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-AY1 K-L-AY1-M D-AA1-N T-AA1-P


... of him and i pressed my face into his neck. when i pulled away, i saw blood. lots of-

AH1-V HH-IH1 M-AH0-N D-AY1 P-R-EH1-S T-M-AY1 F-EY1 S-IH0-N T-UW1 HH-IH1 Z-N-EH1 K-W-EH1 N-AY1 P-UH1-L D-AH0 W-EY1 AY1 S-AO1 B-L-AH1 D-L-AA1-T S-AH1-V


... up in his eyes, focused just long enough for him to see that i was telling the truth-

AH1 P-IH0-N HH-IH1 Z-AY1-Z F-OW1 K-AH0-S-T JH-AH1-S T-L-AO1 NG-IH0 N-AH1-F F-AO1-R HH-IH1-M T-UW1 S-IY1 DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z T-EH1 L-IH0-NG DH-AH0 T-R-UW1-TH


yeah. sorry. my bad. so i might just go to the bathroom and-

Y-AE1 S-AA1 R-IY0 M-AY1 B-AE1-D S-OW1 AY1 M-AY1-T JH-AH1-S-T G-OW1 T-UW1 DH-AH0 B-AE1 TH-R-UW2 M-AH0-N-D


... clean this off, and i grabbed some makeup wipes sitting by the bed. you-

K-L-IY1-N DH-IH1 S-AO1 F-AH0-N D-AY1 G-R-AE1-B-D S-AH1-M M-EY1 K-AH2 P-W-AY1-P-S S-IH1 T-IH0-NG B-AY1 DH-AH0 B-EH1 D-Y-UW1


...can wipe your neck.


i stood up and looked down at my old friend's naked body, which was hairier than i'd expected it to be, and now speckled with blood from my drug-damaged nose.

AY1-S T-UH1 D-AH1 P-AH0-N D-L-UH1-K-T D-AW1 N-AE1 T-M-AY1 OW1-L-D F-R-EH1-N-D Z-N-EY1 K-AH0-D B-AA1 D-IY0 W-IH1 CH-W-AA1-Z HH-EH1 R-IY0 ER0 DH-AE1 N-IH1 D-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K T-AH0 D-IH1-T T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0-N D-N-AW1-S P-EH1 K-AH0-L D-W-IH1-DH B-L-AH1-D F-R-AH1-M M-AY1 D-R-AH1-G D-AH0 M-AE2-JH D-N-OW1-Z


... and i started to laugh maniacally. blood, still pour-

AH0-N D-AY1-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D T-UW1 L-AE1 F-M-AE1 N-IY0 AH0 K-EY2 L-IY0 B-L-AH1-D-S T-IH1-L P-AO1-R


... crazy. like, maybe you've just killed someone.

K-R-EY1 Z-IY0 L-AY1 K-M-EY1 B-IY0 Y-UW1-V JH-AH1-S-T K-IH1-L-D S-AH1 M-W-AH2-N


like you've killed them and then eaten their face, and i don't really know why you'd get naked to kill someone and eat their face.

L-AY1 K-Y-UW1-V K-IH1-L-D DH-EH1 M-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IY1 T-AH0-N DH-EH1-R F-EY1 S-AH0-N D-AY1 D-AA1-N T-R-IH1 L-IY0 N-OW1 W-AY1 Y-AH1-D G-EH1 T-N-EY1 K-AH0-D T-UW1 K-IH1-L S-AH1 M-W-AH2 N-AH0-N D-IY1-T DH-EH1-R F-EY1-S


you do seem happy that they're dead.

Y-UW1 D-UW1 S-IY1-M HH-AE1 P-IY0 DH-AE1-T TH-EH1-R D-EH1-D


oh god. is this something you do? do you kill people and then-

OW1 G-AA1 D-IH1-Z DH-IH1-S S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-Y-UW1 D-UW1 D-UW1 Y-UW1 K-IH1-L P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N


... eat their face after sex? are you going to do it to me?

IY1-T DH-EH1-R F-EY1 S-AE1-F T-ER0 S-EH1-K S-AA1 R-Y-UW1 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 IH1-T T-UW1 M-IY1


if you are, could i cum first? that was a joke.

IH1 F-Y-UW1 AA1-R K-UH1 D-AY1 K-AH1-M F-ER1-S-T DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 JH-OW1-K


it's just, you're still bleeding quite a lot. and at that-

IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-Y-UH1-R-S T-IH1-L B-L-IY1 D-IH0-NG K-W-AY1 T-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH0-N D-AE1-T DH-AE1-T


i picked it up. i'm not really sure why. it wasn't exactly the right moment for interaction with the outside world. and i-

AY1 P-IH1-K T-IH1 T-AH1 P-IH1-M N-AA1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 SH-UH1 R-W-AY1 IH1 T-W-AO1-S T-IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 DH-AH0 R-AY1 T-M-OW1 M-AH0-N-T F-AO1 R-IH2-N T-ER0 AE1-K SH-AH0 N-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 AW1-T S-AY1 D-W-ER1-L D-AH0-N D-AY1


i just loved having him around. he knew i was going to liverpool and he-

AY1 JH-AH1-S T-L-AH1-V-D HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG HH-IH1 M-ER0 AW1-N-D HH-IY1 N-UW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 L-IH1 V-ER0 P-UW2 L-AH0-N-D HH-IY1


blinks, near blinks. it is the cutest w-.

B-L-IH1-NG-K S-N-IH1-R B-L-IH1-NG-K S-IH1 T-IH1-Z DH-AH0 K-Y-UW1 T-IH0-S-T D-AH1 B-AH0 L-Y-UW0


and i could end the story there and you'd be like, yeah, fair play. that does sound like a bad relationship.

AH0-N D-AY1 K-UH1 D-EH1-N-D DH-AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0 DH-EH1 R-AH0-N D-Y-AH1-D B-IY1 L-AY1 K-Y-AE1 F-EH1-R P-L-EY1 DH-AE1-T D-AH1-Z S-AW1-N D-L-AY1 K-AH0 B-AE1 D-R-IY0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-IH2-P


because here's the thing about liverpool. i'm sure it has some good qualities.

B-IH0 K-AO1-Z HH-IH1-R-Z DH-AH0 TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-L-IH1 V-ER0 P-UW2 L-IH1-M SH-UH1 R-IH1-T HH-AE1-Z S-AH1-M G-UH1-D K-W-AA1 L-AH0 T-IY0-Z


but it is not romantic. it's not sexy.

B-AH1 T-IH1 T-IH1 Z-N-AA1 T-R-OW0 M-AE1-N T-IH0 K-IH1-T S-N-AA1-T S-EH1-K S-IY0


no one's ever gone. oh, i quite fancy a weekend away with my lover but, i think i'll skip the beautiful-

N-OW1 W-AH1-N Z-EH1 V-ER0 G-AO1 N-OW1 AY1 K-W-AY1-T F-AE1-N S-IY0 AH0 W-IY1 K-EH2-N D-AH0 W-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 L-AH1 V-ER0 B-AH1 T-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-L-S K-IH1-P DH-AH0 B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L


history and i'm sorry, but i'm just not that kind of masochist.

HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 AH0-N D-IH1-M S-AA1 R-IY0 B-AH1 T-IH1-M JH-AH1-S T-N-AA1-T DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-M-AE1 S-AH0 K-IH0-S-T


or ultimately a person that i needed in my life.

AO1 R-AH1-L T-AH0 M-AH0 T-L-IY0 AH0 P-ER1 S-AH0-N DH-AE1 T-AY1 N-IY1 D-AH0 D-IH0-N M-AY1 L-AY1-F


and i would like to go back to liverpool when i'm not trying to have a relationship there because i'm sure i'm being unfair to the place, but liverpool felt built for bad relationships.

AH0-N D-AY1 W-UH1 D-L-AY1-K T-UW1 G-OW1 B-AE1-K T-UW1 L-IH1 V-ER0 P-UW2 L-W-EH1 N-IH1-M N-AA1-T T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 R-IY0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-IH2-P DH-EH1-R B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1-M SH-UH1 R-IH1-M B-IY1 IH0 NG-AH0-N F-EH1-R T-UW1 DH-AH0 P-L-EY1-S B-AH1 T-L-IH1 V-ER0 P-UW2-L F-EH1-L-T B-IH1-L-T F-AO1-R B-AE1 D-R-IY0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-IH2-P-S


i hardly saw anyone holding hands or kissing in the street.

AY1 HH-AA1-R D-L-IY0 S-AO1 EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2-N HH-OW1-L D-IH0-NG HH-AE1-N-D Z-AO1-R K-IH1 S-IH0 NG-IH0-N DH-AH0-S T-R-IY1-T


but i did see four fights break out on a single wednesday night and i was in a vegan cafe.

B-AH1 T-AY1 D-IH1-D S-IY1 F-AO1-R F-AY1-T-S B-R-EY1 K-AW1 T-AA1 N-AH0 S-IH1-NG G-AH0 L-W-EH1-N-Z D-IY0 N-AY1 T-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0 N-AH0 V-EH1 G-AH0-N K-AH0 F-EY1


i mean, you might miss cheese, but does it make you that angry? liverpool felt like a place-

AY1 M-IY1 N-Y-UW1 M-AY1 T-M-IH1-S CH-IY1-Z B-AH1-T D-AH1 Z-IH1 T-M-EY1 K-Y-UW1 DH-AE1 T-AE1-NG G-R-IY0 L-IH1 V-ER0 P-UW2-L F-EH1-L T-L-AY1 K-AH0 P-L-EY1-S


this new boy of mine, he was a poet. and i'm sorry because i know we all got together a few years ago and agreed to stop banging poets.

DH-IH1 S-N-UW1 B-OY1 AH1 V-M-AY1-N HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 P-OW1 AH0 T-AH0-N D-IH1-M S-AA1 R-IY0 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 N-OW1 W-IY1 AO1-L G-AA1-T T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 AH0 F-Y-UW1 Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 AH0-N D-AH0 G-R-IY1-D T-UW1-S T-AA1-P B-AE1 NG-IH0-NG P-OW1 AH0-T-S


but see the way i knew he was a poet was less by the words he produced and more by how he produced them. exclusively on a typewriter.

B-AH1-T S-IY1 DH-AH0 W-EY1 AY1 N-UW1 HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 P-OW1 AH0 T-W-AA1 Z-L-EH1-S B-AY1 DH-AH0 W-ER1-D-Z HH-IY1 P-R-AH0 D-UW1-S T-AH0-N D-M-AO1-R B-AY1 HH-AW1 HH-IY1 P-R-AH0 D-UW1-S-T DH-EH1 M-IH0-K-S K-L-UW1 S-IH0 V-L-IY0 AA1 N-AH0 T-AY1 P-R-AY2 T-ER0


mr. steven gerrard that hung above his bed because oh yes, he was a lad poet, which is a breed i could have gone to my grave-

M-IH1-S T-ER0-S T-IY1 V-AH0-N ZH-ER0 AA1-R-D DH-AE1-T HH-AH1 NG-AH0 B-AH1-V HH-IH1-Z B-EH1-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-OW1 Y-EH1-S HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 L-AE1-D P-OW1 AH0 T-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AH0 B-R-IY1 D-AY1 K-UH1-D HH-AE1-V G-AO1-N T-UW1 M-AY1 G-R-EY1-V


you want the-


and said, "hey, hey you".


"that you have very hairy arms?"

DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 HH-AE1-V V-EH1 R-IY0 HH-EH1 R-IY0 AA1-R-M-Z


"paul, did you know that your mrs-"

P-AO1-L D-IH1 D-Y-UW1 N-OW1 DH-AE1 T-Y-AO1-R M-IH1 S-IH0-Z


"has very hairy arms?"

HH-AE1-Z V-EH1 R-IY0 HH-EH1 R-IY0 AA1-R-M-Z


"yeah", he responded.


"but i'm mostly okay with it."

B-AH1 T-IH1-M M-OW1-S T-L-IY0 OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-IH1-T


we finally left that kitchen at 9:00 am and headed back to his house in silence.

W-IY1 F-AY1 N-AH0 L-IY0 L-EH1-F-T DH-AE1-T K-IH1 CH-AH0 N-AE1 T-N-AY1 N-AE1 M-AH0-N-D HH-EH1 D-AH0-D B-AE1-K T-UW1 HH-IH1-Z HH-AW1 S-IH0-N S-AY1 L-AH0-N-S


i went into the bathroom, telling him i needed to wash off my face-

AY1 W-EH1-N T-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 B-AE1 TH-R-UW2-M T-EH1 L-IH0-NG HH-IH1 M-AY1 N-IY1 D-AH0-D T-UW1 W-AA1 SH-AO1 F-M-AY1 F-EY1-S


but what i was actually washing off was the whole freezing night and the many painful months and the terrible, ugly feelings that i was having.

B-AH1 T-W-AH1 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 W-AA1 SH-IH0 NG-AO1 F-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 HH-OW1-L F-R-IY1 Z-IH0-NG N-AY1 T-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 M-EH1 N-IY0 P-EY1-N F-AH0-L M-AH1-N-TH S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 T-EH1 R-AH0 B-AH0 L-AH1 G-L-IY0 F-IY1 L-IH0-NG-Z DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG


i looked at myself in his mirror, my reflection surrounded by liverpool fc towels.

AY1 L-UH1-K T-AE1 T-M-AY2 S-EH1-L F-IH0-N HH-IH1 Z-M-IH1 R-ER0 M-AY1 R-AH0 F-L-EH1-K SH-AH0-N S-ER0 AW1-N D-AH0-D B-AY1 L-IH1 V-ER0 P-UW2-L F-EY1-S T-AW1 AH0-L-Z


and the various lynx body sprays of his flatmates.

AH0-N-D DH-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 AH0 S-L-IH1-NG-K-S B-AA1 D-IY0-S P-R-EY1 Z-AH1-V HH-IH1-Z F-L-AE1 T-M-EY2-T-S


and i told myself-


the first time i kissed my husband-

DH-AH0 F-ER1-S-T T-AY1 M-AY1 K-IH1-S T-M-AY1 HH-AH1-Z B-AH0-N-D


it was spring.


becky's in the audience for me, i'm not going to know this.

B-EH1 K-IY0 Z-IH0-N DH-AH0 AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N-S F-AO1-R M-IY1 IH1-M N-AA1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 N-OW1 DH-IH1-S


so, i love it so much that i've written it a song. so i'm going to sing you the song.

S-OW1 AY1 L-AH1 V-IH1-T S-OW1 M-AH1-CH DH-AE1 T-AY1 V-R-IH1 T-AH0 N-IH1 T-AH0 S-AO1-NG S-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-IH1 NG-Y-UW1 DH-AH0 S-AO1-NG


everybody put your hands together for [inaudible 00:03:57]

EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0 P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 F-AO1 R-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z TH-R-IY1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 S-EH1 V-AH0-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


okay. and i am a children's author.

OW2 K-EY1 AH0-N D-AY1 AE1 M-AH0 CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N Z-AO1 TH-ER0


i write children's fiction under the pseudonym, mr.-

AY1 R-AY1-T CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N-Z F-IH1-K SH-AH0 N-AH1-N D-ER0 DH-AH0 S-UW1 D-AH0 N-IH2-M M-IH1-S T-ER0


children man, which is not a weird name. you're wrong about that.

CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N M-AE1 N-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-N-AA1 T-AH0 W-IH1-R D-N-EY1 M-Y-UH1-R R-AO1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1-T


now my partner and i, eight months ago, had a little baby girl. and...thank you.

N-AW1 M-AY1 P-AA1-R T-N-ER0 AH0-N D-AY1 EY1 T-M-AH1-N-TH S-AH0 G-OW1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-EY1 B-IY0 G-ER1 L-AE1-N-D TH-AE2-NG K-Y-UW1


thank you guys. and this is a little story-

TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L-S T-AO1 R-IY0


first of all, about that. and then i'll move on to the tragic change.

F-ER1-S T-AH1 V-AO1 L-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1 T-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IH1-L M-UW1 V-AA1-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K CH-EY1-N-JH


it's not foreboding. it's just a little poem about raising a child.

IH1-T S-N-AA1-T F-AO0-R B-OW1 D-IH0 NG-IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L P-OW1 AH0 M-AH0 B-AW1 T-R-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-AH0 CH-AY1-L-D


raising a child is like riding a bicycle, hard, when you d-

R-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-AH0 CH-AY1-L D-IH1 Z-L-AY1 K-R-AY1 D-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AY1 S-IH0 K-AH0-L HH-AA1-R D-W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 D-IY1


raising a child is like finding a penny-

R-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-AH0 CH-AY1-L D-IH1 Z-L-AY1-K F-AY1-N D-IH0 NG-AH0 P-EH1 N-IY0


i'm happy most of the time. so for this next bit though-

IH1-M HH-AE1 P-IY0 M-OW1-S T-AH1-V DH-AH0 T-AY1-M S-OW1 F-AO1-R DH-IH1 S-N-EH1-K-S-T B-IH1-T DH-OW1


i want to talk about sort of a period of my life, which was really quite hard.

AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-AH0 P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0 D-AH1 V-M-AY1 L-AY1 F-W-IH1 CH-W-AA1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 K-W-AY1-T HH-AA1-R-D


now a lot of people think that my stories lack harder, but they are mostly comedic.

N-AW1 AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0-L TH-IH1-NG-K DH-AE1 T-M-AY1-S T-AO1 R-IY0 Z-L-AE1-K HH-AA1-R D-ER0 B-AH1-T DH-EY1 AA1-R M-OW1-S T-L-IY0 K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IH0-K


but one story, which i'm sort of most proud of, i wrote as part of a best man speech.

B-AH1 T-W-AH1-N-S T-AO1 R-IY0 W-IH1 CH-IH1-M S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-M-OW1-S-T P-R-AW1 D-AH1 V-AY1 R-OW1 T-AE1-Z P-AA1-R T-AH1 V-AH0 B-EH1-S T-M-AE1-N-S P-IY1-CH


for the wedding of two of my best friends, joe crawford and rebecca hills.

F-AO1-R DH-AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0 NG-AH1-V T-UW1 AH1 V-M-AY1 B-EH1-S-T F-R-EH1-N-D-Z JH-OW1 K-R-AO1 F-ER0 D-AH0-N D-R-AH0 B-EH1 K-AH0 HH-IH1-L-Z


so you guys would love rebecca. she fixes computers, but she should be a singer.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-W-UH1 D-L-AH1 V-R-AH0 B-EH1 K-AH0 SH-IY1 F-IH1-K S-IH0-Z K-AH0-M P-Y-UW1 T-ER0-Z B-AH1-T SH-IY1 SH-UH1-D B-IY1 AH0 S-IH1 NG-ER0


so they asked me to do this speech as being a best man.

S-OW1 DH-EY1 AE1-S-K T-M-IY1 T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-IH1-S-S P-IY1 CH-AE1-Z B-IY1 IH0 NG-AH0 B-EH1-S T-M-AE1-N


originally, joe did want his older brother, peter to be his best man, but i convinced him.

ER0 IH1 JH-AH0 N-AH0 L-IY0 JH-OW1 D-IH1 D-W-AA1-N-T HH-IH1 Z-OW1-L D-ER0 B-R-AH1 DH-ER0 P-IY1 T-ER0 T-UW1 B-IY1 HH-IH1-Z B-EH1-S T-M-AE1-N B-AH1 T-AY1 K-AH0-N V-IH1-N-S-T HH-IH1-M


peter's a dental hygienist. it would be a waste of a speech.

P-IY1 T-ER0 Z-AH0 D-EH1-N T-AH0-L HH-AY2 G-IY1 N-IH0-S T-IH1 T-W-UH1-D B-IY1 AH0 W-EY1-S T-AH1 V-AH0-S P-IY1-CH


also peter has one leg slightly shorter than the other.

AO1-L S-OW0 P-IY1 T-ER0 HH-AE1 Z-W-AH1 N-L-EH1-G S-L-AY1 T-L-IY0 SH-AO1-R T-ER0 DH-AE1-N DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0


which shouldn't matter.


so in order to kind of get across the heart of this best man speech-

S-OW1 IH0 N-AO1-R D-ER0 T-UW1 K-AY1-N D-AH1-V G-EH1 T-AH0 K-R-AO1-S DH-AH0 HH-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-IH1-S B-EH1-S T-M-AE1-N-S P-IY1-CH


i'm going to need some help to recreate the atmosphere of this wedding. so first of all-

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 N-IY1-D S-AH1-M HH-EH1-L-P T-UW1 R-EH1 K-R-IY0 EY2-T DH-AH0 AE1 T-M-AH0-S F-IH2 R-AH1-V DH-IH1 S-W-EH1 D-IH0-NG S-OW1 F-ER1-S T-AH1 V-AO1-L


i'm going to need a bride and i'm going to need a groom. never choose anyone who volunteers.

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 N-IY1 D-AH0 B-R-AY1 D-AH0-N D-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 N-IY1 D-AH0 G-R-UW1-M N-EH1 V-ER0 CH-UW1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2-N HH-UW1 V-AA2 L-AH0-N T-IH1-R-Z


and i need a groom, as well.

AH0-N D-AY1 N-IY1 D-AH0 G-R-UW1 M-AE1 Z-W-EH1-L


sir, could i ask you please? not on stage. if you could stand there for me, that'd be marvelous. and you could just stand next to your blushing bride.

S-ER1 K-UH1 D-AY1 AE1-S K-Y-UW1 P-L-IY1 Z-N-AA1 T-AA1-N-S T-EY1 JH-IH1 F-Y-UW1 K-UH1-D-S T-AE1-N-D DH-EH1-R F-AO1-R M-IY1 TH-AE1 T-AH0-D B-IY1 M-AA1-R V-AH0 L-AH0 S-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 K-UH1-D JH-AH1-S-T-S T-AE1-N D-N-EH1-K-S-T T-UW1 Y-AO1-R B-L-AH1 SH-IH0-NG B-R-AY1-D


i always find it's good when doing this to split up couples because that's what happens in real life. right.

AY1 AO1 L-W-EY2-Z F-AY1-N D-IH1-T-S G-UH1 D-W-EH1-N D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1-S T-UW1-S P-L-IH1 T-AH1-P K-AH1 P-AH0-L-Z B-IH0 K-AO1-Z TH-AE1-T S-W-AH1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N Z-IH0 N-R-IY1-L L-AY1 F-R-AY1-T


thank you guys. if you could look at me though, that'd be lovely. excellent. cool. so we're going to have you guys on the groom side.

TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-IH1 F-Y-UW1 K-UH1 D-L-UH1 K-AE1 T-M-IY1 DH-OW1 TH-AE1 T-AH0-D B-IY1 L-AH1 V-L-IY0 EH1-K S-AH0 L-AH0-N-T K-UW1-L S-OW1 W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-AA1-N DH-AH0 G-R-UW1-M S-AY1-D


you guys on the bride side. back row-

Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-AA1-N DH-AH0 B-R-AY1-D S-AY1-D B-AE1 K-R-OW1


drunk. cool. now all i'm going to do is i'm going to go away.

D-R-AH1-NG-K K-UW1-L N-AW1 AO1 L-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 IH1 Z-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-OW1 AH0 W-EY1


get ready. and then i want you guys to talk amongst yourselves.

G-EH1 T-R-EH1 D-IY0 AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 G-AY1-Z T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0 M-AH1-NG-S T-Y-UH0-R S-EH1-L-V-Z


basically just recreate the atmosphere of a wedding.

B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 JH-AH1-S T-R-EH1 K-R-IY0 EY2-T DH-AH0 AE1 T-M-AH0-S F-IH2 R-AH1 V-AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0-NG


i'll come out and who's got a glass in their hand, bride-

IH1-L K-AH1 M-AW1 T-AH0-N-D HH-UW1-Z G-AA1 T-AH0 G-L-AE1 S-IH0-N DH-EH1-R HH-AE1-N-D B-R-AY1-D


can i borrow you? when you see my thumbs up, can you ting the glass and say "pray silent for the best man". and then i'll just perform my thing and then i'll go. awesome.

K-AE1 N-AY1 B-AA1 R-OW2 Y-UW1 W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 S-IY1 M-AY1 TH-AH1-M Z-AH1-P K-AE1 N-Y-UW1 T-IH1-NG DH-AH0 G-L-AE1 S-AH0-N-D S-EY1 P-R-EY1 S-AY1 L-AH0-N-T F-AO1-R DH-AH0 B-EH1-S T-M-AE1 N-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IH1-L JH-AH1-S-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R-M M-AY1 TH-IH1 NG-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IH1-L G-OW1 AA1 S-AH0-M


so the lunch of the day was pork shanks. just something to talk about.

S-OW1 DH-AH0 L-AH1-N CH-AH1-V DH-AH0 D-EY1 W-AA1-Z P-AO1-R-K SH-AE1-NG-K-S JH-AH1-S-T S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T


no it was obvious, there's a fucking line.

N-OW1 IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0-S DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 F-AH1 K-IH0 NG-L-AY1-N


ladies and gentlemen, i consider it the greatest honor-

L-EY1 D-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D JH-EH1-N T-AH0-L M-IH0 N-AY1 K-AH0-N S-IH1 D-ER0 IH1-T DH-AH0 G-R-EY1 T-AH0-S T-AA1 N-ER0


to stand before you here today. assembled friends, rebecca and joe's-

T-UW1-S T-AE1-N-D B-IH0 F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 HH-IY1-R T-AH0 D-EY1 AH0 S-EH1-M B-AH0-L-D F-R-EH1-N-D Z-R-AH0 B-EH1 K-AH0 AH0-N-D JH-OW1-Z


family. oh, got the leaning tower of peter in today.

F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0 OW1 G-AA1-T DH-AH0 L-IY1 N-IH0-NG T-AW1 ER0 AH1-V P-IY1 T-ER0 IH0-N T-AH0 D-EY1