or doesn't he? no. what he wanted me for was a bearded lady in the floor of a-

AO1-R D-OW1 S-AH0-N-T HH-IY1 N-OW1 W-AH1-T HH-IY1 W-AA1-N T-AH0 D-M-IY1 F-AO1 R-W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-IH1-R D-AH0 D-L-EY1 D-IY0 IH0-N DH-AH0 F-L-AO1 R-AH1 V-AH0


tragic. yeah. so that came to an end.

T-R-AE1 JH-IH0 K-Y-AE1 S-OW1 DH-AE1-T K-EY1-M T-UW1 AE1 N-EH1-N-D


and basically she ended the conversation with, "you're basically a very intelligent young lady, though, aren't you?"

AH0-N-D B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 SH-IY1 EH1-N D-AH0-D DH-AH0 K-AA2-N V-ER0 S-EY1 SH-AH0 N-W-IH1 DH-Y-UH1-R B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 IH0-N T-EH1 L-AH0 JH-AH0-N T-Y-AH1 NG-L-EY1 D-IY0 DH-OW1 AA1 R-AH0-N T-Y-UW1


so i gave up movies.


when i got a call out the blue from a friend of mine who had disappeared and basically gone to work in the film industry.

W-EH1 N-AY1 G-AA1 T-AH0 K-AO1 L-AW1-T DH-AH0 B-L-UW1 F-R-AH1 M-AH0 F-R-EH1-N D-AH1 V-M-AY1-N HH-UW1 HH-AE1-D D-IH2 S-AH0 P-IH1-R D-AH0-N-D B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 G-AO1-N T-UW1 W-ER1 K-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-IH1-L M-IH1-N D-AH0-S T-R-IY0


and he called me up and said, "joanna." "oh, hi."

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 K-AO1-L D-M-IY1 AH1 P-AH0-N-D S-EH1-D JH-OW0 AE1 N-AH0 OW1 HH-AY1


"we've got gary oldman down. we've got tommy lee down."

W-IY1-V G-AA1-T G-EH1 R-IY0 OW1-L D-M-AH0-N D-AW1 N-W-IY1-V G-AA1-T T-AA1 M-IY0 L-IY1 D-AW1-N


yeah. "we're all making a film in london. and we wondered if you wanted to help out."

Y-AE1 W-ER0 AO1-L M-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 F-IH1-L M-IH0 N-L-AH1-N D-AH0 N-AH0-N D-W-IY1 W-AH1-N D-ER0 D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N T-AH0-D T-UW1 HH-EH1-L P-AW1-T


yeah. i mean, who gets the phone call asking if they-

Y-AE1 AY1 M-IY1-N HH-UW1 G-EH1-T-S DH-AH0 F-OW1-N K-AO1 L-AE1-S K-IH0 NG-IH1-F DH-EY1


... want to help out in a hollywood film?

W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 HH-EH1-L P-AW1 T-IH0 N-AH0 HH-AA1 L-IY0 W-UH2-D F-IH1-L-M


i think i'm beyonce. yeah. so i'm like, "yeah. yeah. what do you want me to do?" really casually, just chipping over. and he's like, "well-

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-M B-EY1 S-AH0 N-Y-AE1 S-OW1 IH1 M-L-AY1 K-Y-AE1 Y-AE1 W-AH1-T D-UW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N T-M-IY1 T-UW1 D-UW1 R-IH1 L-IY0 K-AE1 ZH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 JH-AH1-S-T CH-IH1 P-IH0 NG-OW1 V-ER0 AH0-N-D HH-IY1 Z-L-AY1 K-W-EH1-L


... actually the problem is is the other main part in this film is a ten-year-old child."

AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 DH-AH0 P-R-AA1 B-L-AH0 M-IH1 Z-IH1-Z DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 M-EY1-N P-AA1-R T-IH0-N DH-IH1-S F-IH1-L M-IH1 Z-AH0 T-EH2 N-IY0 R-OW1 G-AH0-L CH-AY1-L-D


now legally, they're not allowed on set at all all the time. so we wondered if you could just come down and when they're not allowed to be, so they can set the cameras to your heights and stuff like that.

N-AW1 L-IY1 G-AH0 L-IY0 TH-EH1-R N-AA1 T-AH0 L-AW1 D-AA1-N S-EH1 T-AE1 T-AO1 L-AO1-L DH-AH0 T-AY1-M S-OW1 W-IY1 W-AH1-N D-ER0 D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 K-UH1-D JH-AH1-S-T K-AH1-M D-AW1 N-AH0-N D-W-EH1-N TH-EH1-R N-AA1 T-AH0 L-AW1-D T-UW1 B-IY1 S-OW1 DH-EY1 K-AE1-N S-EH1-T DH-AH0 K-AE1 M-ER0 AH0-Z T-UW1 Y-AO1-R HH-AY1-T S-AH0-N-D-S T-AH1 F-L-AY1-K DH-AE1-T


so the first day i turned up on the site, i'm with kevin costner.

S-OW1 DH-AH0 F-ER1-S-T D-EY1 AY1 T-ER1-N D-AH1 P-AA1-N DH-AH0 S-AY1 T-IH1 M-W-IH1-DH K-EH1 V-IH0-N K-AA1-S T-N-ER0


i actually look him in the eye because he's kevin costner and you don't do that.

AY1 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 L-UH1-K HH-IH1 M-IH0-N DH-AH0 AY1 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z HH-IY1-Z K-EH1 V-IH0-N K-AA1-S T-N-ER0 AH0-N D-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T D-UW1 DH-AE1-T


so all i could hear through someone's head piece was the hollywood director, just shouting down the head-

S-OW1 AO1 L-AY1 K-UH1-D HH-IY1-R TH-R-UW1 S-AH1 M-OW2-N-Z HH-EH1-D P-IY1 S-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 HH-AA1 L-IY0 W-UH2-D D-ER0 EH1-K T-ER0 JH-AH1-S-T SH-AW1 T-IH0-NG D-AW1-N DH-AH0 HH-EH1-D


... piece, "i don't like her. i don't like her."

P-IY1 S-AY1 D-AA1-N T-L-AY1-K HH-ER0 AY1 D-AA1-N T-L-AY1-K HH-ER0


so let's put this tragedy into some sort of perspective for you. i'd failed at being a 10-year-old stand in in the movies. okay.

S-OW1 L-EH1-T-S P-UH1-T DH-IH1-S T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 IH0-N T-UW1 S-AH1-M S-AO1-R T-AH1-V P-ER0-S P-EH1-K T-IH0-V F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 IH1-D F-EY1-L D-AE1-T B-IY1 IH0 NG-AH0 T-EH2 N-IY0 R-OW1 G-AH0-L-S T-AE1-N D-IH0 N-IH0-N DH-AH0 M-UW1 V-IY0 Z-OW2 K-EY1


the next day, it got a whole lot better though. so i was introduced to my stand ins, which were my companions on the set.

DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T D-EY1 IH1-T G-AA1 T-AH0 HH-OW1-L L-AA1-T B-EH1 T-ER0 DH-OW1 S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH2-N T-R-AH0 D-UW1-S-T T-UW1 M-AY1-S T-AE1-N D-IH1-N Z-W-IH1 CH-W-ER0 M-AY1 K-AH0-M P-AE1 N-Y-AH0-N Z-AA1-N DH-AH0 S-EH1-T


it was the end of the filming of the big beeps with the choppers and everything.

IH1 T-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1-V DH-AH0 F-IH1-L M-IH0 NG-AH1-V DH-AH0 B-IH1-G B-IY1-P S-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 CH-AA1 P-ER0 Z-AH0-N D-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2-NG


his words, not mine. and a beautiful model. and basically just as a side note to this as well.

HH-IH1 Z-W-ER1-D Z-N-AA1 T-M-AY1 N-AH0-N D-AH0 B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L M-AA1 D-AH0 L-AH0-N-D B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 JH-AH1-S T-AE1 Z-AH0 S-AY1 D-N-OW1-T T-UW1 DH-IH1 S-AE1 Z-W-EH1-L


the hierarchy, and i didn't know this, the reason that i've been sat on a box, basically in richmond, is because-

DH-AH0 HH-AY1 ER0 AA2-R K-IY0 AH0-N D-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-N-OW1 DH-IH1-S DH-AH0 R-IY1 Z-AH0-N DH-AE1 T-AY1-V B-IH1-N S-AE1 T-AA1 N-AH0 B-AA1-K-S B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 IH0 N-R-IH1 CH-M-AH0-N D-IH1-Z B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


... the hierarchy to movies is there's only a couple of chairs.

DH-AH0 HH-AY1 ER0 AA2-R K-IY0 T-UW1 M-UW1 V-IY0 Z-IH1-Z DH-EH1-R Z-OW1 N-L-IY0 AH0 K-AH1 P-AH0 L-AH1-V CH-EH1-R-Z


so when i got on set on this airfield, straight away, smack banging kevin costner's chair.

S-OW1 W-EH1 N-AY1 G-AA1 T-AA1-N S-EH1 T-AA1-N DH-IH1 S-EH1-R F-IY2-L-D-S T-R-EY1 T-AH0 W-EY1 S-M-AE1-K B-AE1 NG-IH0-NG K-EH1 V-IH0-N K-AO1-S T-N-ER0-Z CH-EH1-R


now this did two things, basically. there's not really a lot-

N-AW1 DH-IH1-S D-IH1-D T-UW1 TH-IH1-NG-Z B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 DH-EH1-R Z-N-AA1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 AH0 L-AA1-T


... people could do about it because there was nothing, nowhere else for me to sit. throughout the course of the next three days...

P-IY1 P-AH0-L K-UH1-D D-UW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T B-IH0 K-AO1-Z DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-N-AH1 TH-IH0-NG N-OW1 W-EH2 R-EH1-L-S F-AO1-R M-IY1 T-UW1 S-IH1-T TH-R-UW0 AW1-T DH-AH0 K-AO1-R S-AH1-V DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T TH-R-IY1 D-EY1-Z


... things happen. i was having choppers landed in front of me.

TH-IH1-NG-Z HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG CH-AA1 P-ER0 Z-L-AE1-N D-AH0 D-IH0-N F-R-AH1-N T-AH1 V-M-IY1


more and more though, because i was sat on these chairs, the actual leading actors chairs.

M-AO1 R-AH0-N D-M-AO1-R DH-OW1 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 W-AA1-Z S-AE1 T-AA1-N DH-IY1-Z CH-EH1-R-Z DH-AH0 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0-L L-IY1 D-IH0 NG-AE1-K T-ER0-Z CH-EH1-R-Z


people started to believe that i was a lead in this production. it was fantastic.

P-IY1 P-AH0-L-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D T-UW1 B-IH0 L-IY1-V DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 L-EH1 D-IH0-N DH-IH1-S P-R-AH0 D-AH1-K SH-AH0 N-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z F-AE0-N T-AE1-S T-IH0-K


even kevin costner himself, by the end of it, actually believed that i was bigger than joan crawford. it was fantastic. it ended sadly with-

IY1 V-IH0-N K-EH1 V-IH0-N K-AA1-S T-N-ER0 HH-IH0-M S-EH1-L-F B-AY1 DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1 V-IH1 T-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 B-IH0 L-IY1-V-D DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z B-IH1 G-ER0 DH-AE1-N JH-OW1-N K-R-AO1 F-ER0 D-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z F-AE0-N T-AE1-S T-IH0 K-IH1 T-EH1-N D-AH0-D S-AE1 D-L-IY0 W-IH1-DH


... people getting my coffee straight away. people bringing me dinner on set.

P-IY1 P-AH0-L G-EH1 T-IH0-NG M-AY1 K-AA1 F-IY0-S T-R-EY1 T-AH0 W-EY1 P-IY1 P-AH0-L B-R-IH1 NG-IH0-NG M-IY1 D-IH1 N-ER0 AA1-N S-EH1-T


obviously i never went to costume to changes into the clothes that a 10-year-old-

AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 AY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 K-AA0-S T-UW1-M T-UW1 CH-EY1-N JH-AH0 Z-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 K-L-OW1-DH-Z DH-AE1 T-AH0 T-EH2 N-IY0 R-OW1 G-AH0-L


... child should wear. so i was head-to-toe in gucci with massive shades, proper rocking it up at the side of the airfield.

CH-AY1-L-D SH-UH1 D-W-EH1-R S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z HH-EH1-D T-EY2 K-IH0-N G-UW1 CH-IY0 W-IH1 DH-M-AE1 S-IH0-V SH-EY1-D-Z P-R-AA1 P-ER0 R-AA1 K-IH0 NG-IH1 T-AH1 P-AE1-T DH-AH0 S-AY1 D-AH1-V DH-AH0 EH1-R F-IY2-L-D


i'm like, "no, it's all right. my mom told me i'm never allowed to speak to stranger."

IH1 M-L-AY1 K-N-OW1 IH1-T S-AO1-L R-AY1 T-M-AY1 M-AA1-M T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 IH1-M N-EH1 V-ER0 AH0 L-AW1-D T-UW1-S P-IY1-K T-UW1-S T-R-EY1-N JH-ER0


man. totally hit it off. get to my car, sit in the back for about 10 minutes.

M-AE1-N T-OW1 T-AH0 L-IY0 HH-IH1 T-IH1 T-AO1-F G-EH1-T T-UW1 M-AY1 K-AA1-R S-IH1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 B-AE1-K F-AO1 R-AH0 B-AW1-T T-EH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T-S


because i'm so important, i forgot i've got to drive myself.

B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1-M S-OW1 IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N T-AY1 F-ER0 G-AA1 T-AY1-V G-AA1-T T-UW1 D-R-AY1 V-M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F


so you're all asking, where's the tragedy in this-

S-OW1 Y-UH1 R-AO1 L-AE1-S K-IH0 NG-W-EH1-R-Z DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 IH0-N DH-IH1-S


... state? well, basically it really did end well. so but basically the film doesn't come out until next year and tragic point number one...

S-T-EY1 T-W-EH1-L B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 IH1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 D-IH1 D-EH1-N D-W-EH1-L S-OW1 B-AH1-T B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 DH-AH0 F-IH1-L-M D-OW1 S-AH0-N-T K-AH1 M-AW1 T-AH0-N T-IH1-L N-EH1-K-S T-Y-IH1 R-AH0-N-D T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K P-OY1-N T-N-AH1-M B-ER0 W-AH1-N


i'm not in it. tragic point number two...

IH1-M N-AA1 T-IH0 N-IH1-T T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K P-OY1-N T-N-AH1-M B-ER0 T-UW1


i probably ruined it and made it so awkward for any short person ever in this industry to ever be able to do that job again. and tragic point number three...

AY1 P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 R-UW1 AH0-N D-IH1 T-AH0-N D-M-EY1 D-IH1-T S-OW1 AA1 K-W-ER0-D F-AO1 R-EH1 N-IY0 SH-AO1-R-T P-ER1 S-AH0 N-EH1 V-ER0 IH0-N DH-IH1 S-IH1-N D-AH0-S T-R-IY0 T-UW1 EH1 V-ER0 B-IY1 EY1 B-AH0-L T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-AE1-T JH-AA1 B-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N-D T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K P-OY1-N T-N-AH1-M B-ER0 TH-R-IY1


just like everyone else. so that was my movie career done and dusted.

JH-AH1-S T-L-AY1 K-EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2 N-EH1-L-S S-OW1 DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-M-AY1 M-UW1 V-IY0 K-ER0 IH1-R D-AH1 N-AH0-N-D D-AH1-S T-IH0-D


so as you say, i am at chow-

S-OW1 AE1 Z-Y-UW1 S-EY1 AY1 AE1 M-AE1-T CH-AW1


... lima, joe coffee, doing curiously caffeinated. please do come down and thank you very much for listening.

L-AY1 M-AH0 JH-OW1 K-AA1 F-IY0 D-UW1 IH0-NG K-Y-UH1 R-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 K-AE1 F-IH0 N-EY2 T-AH0-D P-L-IY1-Z D-UW1 K-AH1-M D-AW1 N-AH0-N-D TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 V-EH1 R-IY0 M-AH1-CH F-AO1-R L-IH1 S-AH0 N-IH0-NG


end up in a fucking toilet.

EH1-N D-AH1 P-IH0 N-AH0 F-AH1 K-IH0-NG T-OY1 L-AH0-T


life got easier as i got older because i learned to speak english.

L-AY1-F G-AA1 T-IY1 Z-IY0 ER0 AE1 Z-AY1 G-AA1 T-OW1-L D-ER0 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 L-ER1 N-IH0-D T-UW1-S P-IY1 K-IH1-NG G-L-IH0-SH


my parents got enough money to afford me school dinners and most of all important...

M-AY1 P-EH1 R-AH0-N-T-S G-AA1 T-IH0 N-AH1 F-M-AH1 N-IY0 T-UW1 AH0 F-AO1-R D-M-IY1-S K-UW1-L D-IH1 N-ER0 Z-AH0-N D-M-OW1-S T-AH1 V-AO1 L-IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N-T


... i learned how to oppress every bit of human emotion like an english person.

AY1 L-ER1 N-IH0-D HH-AW1 T-UW1 AH0 P-R-EH1 S-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 B-IH1 T-AH1-V HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0 N-IH0 M-OW1 SH-AH0 N-L-AY1 K-AE1 N-IH1-NG G-L-IH0-SH P-ER1 S-AH0-N


now growing up in a chinese family...

N-AW1 G-R-OW1 IH0 NG-AH1 P-IH0 N-AH0 CH-AY0 N-IY1-Z F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0


there are three [inaudible 00:06:29] choices. doctor, lawyer, accountant.

DH-EH1 R-AA1-R TH-R-IY1 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-IH1-K S-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 N-AY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z CH-OY1 S-AH0-Z D-AA1-K T-ER0 L-AO1 Y-ER0 AH0 K-AW1-N T-AH0-N-T


so as i graduated my law degree and handed over my 2:1 and my student loan...

S-OW1 AE1 Z-AY1 G-R-AE1 JH-UW0 EY2 T-IH0 D-M-AY1 L-AO1 D-IH0 G-R-IY1 AH0-N-D HH-AE1-N D-AH0 D-OW1 V-ER0 M-AY1 T-UW1 T-UW1 W-AH1 N-AH0-N D-M-AY1-S T-UW1 D-AH0-N T-L-OW1-N


my dad was horrified. he told me that the entertainment industry was full of drug addicts and homosexuals. now i've been an actress for eight years and i can honestly say he-

M-AY1 D-AE1 D-W-AA1-Z HH-AO1 R-AH0 F-AY2-D HH-IY1 T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 EH2-N T-ER0 T-EY1-N M-AH0-N T-IH1-N D-AH0-S T-R-IY0 W-AA1-Z F-UH1 L-AH1-V D-R-AH1 G-AE1 D-IH2-K-T S-AH0-N-D HH-OW2 M-OW0 S-EH1-K SH-AH0 W-AH0-L Z-N-AW1 AY1-V B-IH1 N-AE1 N-AE1-K T-R-AH0-S F-AO1 R-EY1 T-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0-N D-AY1 K-AE1 N-AA1 N-AH0-S T-L-IY0 S-EY1 HH-IY1


... wanted me to be a doctor, a real one please, not just filming.

W-AA1-N T-AH0 D-M-IY1 T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0 D-AA1-K T-ER0 AH0 R-IY1 L-W-AH1-N P-L-IY1 Z-N-AA1-T JH-AH1-S-T F-IH1-L M-IH0-NG


i went to see a doctor and they quite quickly said i had quite a bad case of clinical depression as they prescribed me 12 months worth of antidepressants and referred me to a therapist.

AY1 W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 S-IY1 AH0 D-AA1-K T-ER0 AH0-N-D DH-EY1 K-W-AY1-T K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 S-EH1 D-AY1 HH-AE1-D K-W-AY1 T-AH0 B-AE1-D K-EY1 S-AH1-V K-L-IH1 N-AH0 K-AH0-L D-IH0 P-R-EH1 SH-AH0 N-AE1-Z DH-EY1 P-R-IY0-S K-R-AY1-B D-M-IY1 T-W-EH1-L V-M-AH1-N-TH S-W-ER1 TH-AH1 V-AE2-N T-AY2 D-IH0 P-R-EH1 S-AH0-N-T S-AH0-N D-R-AH0 F-ER1 D-M-IY1 T-UW1 AH0 TH-EH1 R-AH0 P-AH0-S-T


now i personally think in this country we're very quick to take drugs.

N-AW1 AY1 P-ER1 S-AH0 N-AH0 L-IY0 TH-IH1-NG K-IH0-N DH-IH1-S K-AH1-N T-R-IY0 W-ER0 V-EH1 R-IY0 K-W-IH1-K T-UW1 T-EY1-K D-R-AH1-G-Z


so i went for the therapy instead because after all i'm an actress.

S-OW1 AY1 W-EH1-N-T F-AO1-R DH-AH0 TH-EH1 R-AH0 P-IY0 IH0-N-S T-EH1-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AE1-F T-ER0 AO1 L-IH1 M-AE1 N-AE1-K T-R-AH0-S


she's told me very quickly in our first session.

SH-EH1-S T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 V-EH1 R-IY0 K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 IH0 N-AW1 ER0 F-ER1-S-T S-EH1 SH-AH0-N


you lost your entire world when you left china.

Y-UW1 L-AO1-S T-Y-AO1 R-IH0-N T-AY1 ER0 W-ER1-L D-W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 L-EH1-F-T CH-AY1 N-AH0


it's no wonder you'd withdrawn to acting.

IH1-T S-N-OW1 W-AH1-N D-ER0 Y-AH1 D-W-IH0-TH D-R-AO1-N T-UW1 AE1-K T-IH0-NG


you've been performing your whole life. and before i could even say, "nice shot."

Y-UW1-V B-IH1-N P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-IH0 NG-Y-AO1-R HH-OW1-L L-AY1 F-AH0-N-D B-IH0 F-AO1 R-AY1 K-UH1 D-IY1 V-IH0-N S-EY1 N-AY1-S SH-AA1-T


what do i know? i was transported back in time, like a flashback from my movie.

W-AH1-T D-UW1 AY1 N-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z T-R-AE0-N-S P-AO1-R T-AH0-D B-AE1 K-IH0-N T-AY1 M-L-AY1 K-AH0 F-L-AE1-SH B-AE2-K F-R-AH1-M M-AY1 M-UW1 V-IY0


and it was 1991 pancake day and the smell of pancakes and butter and lemon and sugar in the air. and all the kids buzz around all the cooking, like frantic little bees. and i was really excited.

AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-N-AY1-N T-IY1-N N-AY1-N T-IY0 W-AH1-N P-AE1-N K-EY2-K D-EY1 AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-M-EH1 L-AH1-V P-AE1-N K-EY2-K S-AH0-N-D B-AH1 T-ER0 AH0-N D-L-EH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-N-D SH-UH1 G-ER0 IH0-N DH-AH0 EH1 R-AH0-N D-AO1-L DH-AH0 K-IH1-D-Z B-AH1 Z-ER0 AW1-N D-AO1-L DH-AH0 K-UH1 K-IH0 NG-L-AY1-K F-R-AE1-N T-IH0 K-L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IY1 Z-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 IH0-K S-AY1 T-AH0-D


this new experience. and suddenly i was paralyzed. i couldn't move.

DH-IH1 S-N-UW1 IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-AH0-N-D S-AH1 D-AH0 N-L-IY0 AY1 W-AA1-Z P-EH1 R-AH0 L-AY2-Z D-AY1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-M-UW1-V


and i looked around just to check. has anyone else been hit by this airborne zombie virus? was it just me? oh, it's just me.

AH0-N D-AY1 L-UH1-K T-ER0 AW1-N-D JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 CH-EH1-K HH-AE1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2 N-EH1-L-S B-IH1-N HH-IH1-T B-AY1 DH-IH1 S-EH1-R B-AO2-R-N Z-AA1-M B-IY0 V-AY1 R-AH0 S-W-AA1 Z-IH1-T JH-AH1-S T-M-IY1 OW1 IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-M-IY1


i was so tired. my body was shutting down.

AY1 W-AA1-Z S-OW1 T-AY1 ER0 D-M-AY1 B-AA1 D-IY0 W-AA1-Z SH-AH1 T-IH0-NG D-AW1-N


we didn't have direct flights to england or maybe it was the fact in china, kids that age still had naps.

W-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V D-ER0 EH1-K-T F-L-AY1-T-S T-UW1 IH1-NG G-L-AH0-N D-AO1-R M-EY1 B-IY0 IH1 T-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 F-AE1-K T-IH0-N CH-AY1 N-AH0 K-IH1-D-Z DH-AE1 T-EY1-JH-S T-IH1-L HH-AE1 D-N-AE1-P-S


what i should've done was to go up to a teacher and say, "oh, miss audrey, i don't feel very well. can i please lie down?"

W-AH1 T-AY1 SH-UH1 D-AH0-V D-AH1 N-W-AA1-Z T-UW1 G-OW1 AH1-P T-UW1 AH0 T-IY1 CH-ER0 AH0-N-D S-EY1 OW1 M-IH1 S-AO1 D-R-IY0 AY1 D-AA1-N-T F-IY1-L V-EH1 R-IY0 W-EH1-L K-AE1 N-AY1 P-L-IY1 Z-L-AY1 D-AW1-N


but instead, five-year-old me looked around, assessed the situation, married it with all the evidence i'd already gathered and said, "no."

B-AH1 T-IH0-N-S T-EH1-D F-IY0 V-IY0 AA1-R L-IY0 D-M-IY1 L-UH1-K T-ER0 AW1-N D-AH0 S-EH1-S-T DH-AH0 S-IH2 CH-UW0 EY1 SH-AH0-N M-EH1 R-IY0 D-IH1 T-W-IH1 DH-AO1-L DH-AH0 EH1 V-AH0 D-AH0-N S-IH1 D-AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 G-AE1 DH-ER0 D-AH0-N-D S-EH1 D-N-OW1


don't you dare fall asleep. don't you dare. stay awake.

D-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 D-EH1-R F-AO1 L-AH0 S-L-IY1-P D-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 D-EH1-R-S T-EY1 AH0 W-EY1-K


i'd realized in that moment, my survival skill, my survival depended on overriding. well-

IH1 D-R-IY1 L-AY2-Z D-IH0-N DH-AE1 T-M-OW1 M-AH0-N T-M-AY1 S-ER0 V-AY1 V-AH0-L-S K-IH1-L M-AY1 S-ER0 V-AY1 V-AH0-L D-IH0 P-EH1-N D-AH0 D-AA1 N-OW1 V-ER0 R-AY2 D-IH0 NG-W-EH1-L


i arrived in england on the 31st of january, 1991 and shrove tuesday that year was the 12th of february.

AY1 ER0 AY1-V D-IH0 N-IH1-NG G-L-AH0-N D-AA1-N DH-AH0 TH-ER1 D-IY0 F-ER1-S T-AH1-V JH-AE1 N-Y-UW0 EH2 R-IY0 N-AY1-N T-IY1-N N-AY1-N T-IY0 W-AH1 N-AH0-N-D SH-R-OW1-V T-UW1-Z D-IY0 DH-AE1 T-Y-IH1 R-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 T-W-EH1-L-F TH-AH1-V F-EH1 B-Y-AH0 W-EH2 R-IY0


it took less than two weeks for my five-year-old self to make a decision that would change the cognitive development of me as an adult.

IH1-T T-UH1 K-L-EH1-S DH-AE1-N T-UW1 W-IY1-K-S F-AO1-R M-AY1 F-IY0 V-IY0 AA1-R L-IY0-D S-EH1-L-F T-UW1 M-EY1 K-AH0 D-IH0 S-IH1 ZH-AH0-N DH-AE1 T-W-UH1-D CH-EY1-N-JH DH-AH0 K-AA1 G-N-IH0 T-IH0-V D-IH0 V-EH1 L-AH0 P-M-AH0-N T-AH1 V-M-IY1 AE1 Z-AE1 N-AH0 D-AH1-L-T


love yourself, probably wouldn't fit in on nhs pamphlet.

L-AH1 V-Y-ER0 S-EH1-L-F P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 W-UH1 D-L-AH0-N-T F-IH1 T-IH0 N-AA1-N N-IY1-Z P-AE1-M F-L-AH0-T


but i do think it's your body's way of going, "you held onto that shit for way too long. you need to let go."

B-AH1 T-AY1 D-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-T S-Y-AO1-R B-AA1 D-IY0 Z-W-EY1 AH1-V G-OW1 IH0 NG-Y-UW1 HH-EH1-L D-AA1-N T-UW0 DH-AE1-T SH-IH1-T F-AO1 R-W-EY1 T-UW1 L-AO1 NG-Y-UW1 N-IY1-D T-UW1 L-EH1-T G-OW1


i had no iphone. i didn't have a book. so i didn't have friends. i had no choice, but to take myself-

AY1 HH-AE1 D-N-OW1 IH1 F-OW0 N-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1 V-AH0 B-UH1-K S-OW1 AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V F-R-EH1-N-D Z-AY1 HH-AE1 D-N-OW1 CH-OY1-S B-AH1-T T-UW1 T-EY1 K-M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F


... on this fantastic adventures with something that we all have but that we don't get to use enough, our imagination.

AA1-N DH-IH1-S F-AE0-N T-AE1-S T-IH0 K-AE0-D V-EH1-N CH-ER0 Z-W-IH1-DH S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG DH-AE1 T-W-IY1 AO1-L HH-AE1-V B-AH1-T DH-AE1 T-W-IY1 D-AA1-N-T G-EH1-T T-UW1 Y-UW1 Z-IH0 N-AH1 F-AW1 ER0 IH0 M-AE2 JH-AH0 N-EY1 SH-AH0-N


all those times i never felt like i fitted in. i had to quickly decipher what i thought that person wanted from me, build a character and present her quickly to the world.

AO1-L DH-OW1-Z T-AY1-M Z-AY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 F-EH1-L T-L-AY1 K-AY1 F-IH1 T-AH0 D-IH0 N-AY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 D-IH0 S-AY1 F-ER0 W-AH1 T-AY1 TH-AO1-T DH-AE1-T P-ER1 S-AH0 N-W-AA1-N T-AH0-D F-R-AH1-M M-IY1 B-IH1-L D-AH0 K-EH1 R-IH0-K T-ER0 AH0-N-D P-R-EH1 Z-AH0-N-T HH-ER0 K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 T-UW1 DH-AH0 W-ER1-L-D


and all those times i sat in front of food, i couldn't eat.

AH0-N D-AO1-L DH-OW1-Z T-AY1-M Z-AY1 S-AE1 T-IH0-N F-R-AH1-N T-AH1-V F-UW1 D-AY1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-IY1-T


starving, just wanting to eat has helped me develop a really useful eating disorder that makes me look fantastic on screen.

S-T-AA1-R V-IH0-NG JH-AH1-S T-W-AA1-N T-IH0-NG T-UW1 IY1-T HH-AE1-Z HH-EH1-L-P T-M-IY1 D-IH0 V-EH1 L-AH0 P-AH0 R-IH1 L-IY0 Y-UW1-S F-AH0 L-IY1 T-IH0-NG D-IH0 S-AO1-R D-ER0 DH-AE1 T-M-EY1-K S-M-IY1 L-UH1-K F-AE0-N T-AE1-S T-IH0 K-AA1-N-S K-R-IY1-N


we are the product of our experiences and the sooner-

W-IY1 AA1-R DH-AH0 P-R-AA1 D-AH0-K T-AH1 V-AW1 ER0 IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-IH0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-UW1 N-ER0


... we stop running away from them, the freer that we are. i'll leave you with the words of a hero of mine, mr. kurt cobain, "they laugh at me because i'm different."

W-IY1-S T-AA1 P-R-AH1 N-IH0 NG-AH0 W-EY1 F-R-AH1-M DH-EH1-M DH-AH0 F-R-IY1 ER0 DH-AE1 T-W-IY1 AA1 R-IH1-L L-IY1 V-Y-UW1 W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 W-ER1-D Z-AH1 V-AH0 HH-IH1 R-OW0 AH1 V-M-AY1-N M-IH1-S T-ER0 K-ER1-T K-OW1 B-EY2-N DH-EY1 L-AE1 F-AE1 T-M-IY1 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1-M D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T


i laugh at them because they're the same. thank you so much for listening.

AY1 L-AE1 F-AE1-T DH-EH1-M B-IH0 K-AO1-Z TH-EH1-R DH-AH0 S-EY1-M TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 S-OW1 M-AH1-CH F-AO1-R L-IH1 S-AH0 N-IH0-NG


our next performers are rare in edinburgh, they're not doing a show.

AW1 ER0 N-EH1-K-S-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 Z-AA1-R R-EH1 R-IH0 N-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 TH-EH1-R N-AA1-T D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1


there are two of them though, so i'm happy to set up the mics. i text having the night off-

DH-EH1 R-AA1-R T-UW1 AH1-V DH-EH1-M DH-OW1 S-OW1 IH1-M HH-AE1 P-IY0 T-UW1 S-EH1 T-AH1-P DH-AH0 M-IH1-K S-AY1 T-EH1-K-S-T HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG DH-AH0 N-AY1 T-AO1-F


okay. so our next performers, you can find them on twitter at leo and liam one, put your hands together everyone for leo and liam.

OW2 K-EY1 S-OW1 AW1 ER0 N-EH1-K-S-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 Z-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N F-AY1-N-D DH-EH1 M-AA1-N T-W-IH1 T-ER0 AE1 T-L-IY1 OW0 AH0-N D-L-IY1 AH0 M-W-AH1-N P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N F-AO1-R L-IY1 OW0 AH0-N D-L-IY1 AH0-M


hello. thank you for coming mate. i'd better tell you now, alan has quit, alan has quit.alan's gone.

HH-AH0 L-OW1 TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 F-AO1-R K-AH1 M-IH0-NG M-EY1 T-IH1-D B-EH1 T-ER0 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 N-AW1 AE1 L-AH0-N HH-AE1-Z K-W-IH1 T-AE1 L-AH0-N HH-AE1-Z K-W-IH1 T-AH0 L-AH0-N-Z G-AO1-N


alan's gone. there's just the two of us left now. there is just the two of us left on the board. so what i thought i'd do, just as a last little thing.

AH0 L-AE1-N-Z G-AO1-N DH-EH1-R-Z JH-AH1-S-T DH-AH0 T-UW1 AH1 V-AH1 S-L-EH1-F T-N-AW1 DH-EH1 R-IH1-Z JH-AH1-S-T DH-AH0 T-UW1 AH1 V-AH1 S-L-EH1-F T-AA1-N DH-AH0 B-AO1-R-D S-OW1 W-AH1 T-AY1 TH-AO1 T-IH1-D D-UW1 JH-AH1-S T-AE1 Z-AH0 L-AE1-S T-L-IH1 T-AH0-L TH-IH1-NG


the bailiffs going to be coming in about 10 minutes, we've got about 10 minutes left-.

DH-AH0 B-EY1 L-AH0-F-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-IH0 N-AH0 B-AW1-T T-EH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-W-IY1-V G-AA1 T-AH0 B-AW1-T T-EH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-L-EH1-F-T


i thought the last thing we do is we'd have a last little board meeting.

AY1 TH-AO1-T DH-AH0 L-AE1-S-T TH-IH1 NG-W-IY1 D-UW1 IH1 Z-W-EH1-D HH-AE1 V-AH0 L-AE1-S T-L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-AO1-R D-M-IY1 T-IH0-NG


just like we used to.i just don't understand anything about how it's happened.

JH-AH1-S T-L-AY1 K-W-IY1 Y-UW1-S-T T-OY1 JH-AH1-S-T D-AA1-N T-AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N D-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-AW1 IH1-T-S HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D


that's what's the worst thing about it because we had everything.that's part of the reason why i've done the meeting.

TH-AE1-T S-W-AH0-T-S DH-AH0 W-ER1-S-T TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-W-IY1 HH-AE1 D-IY2 V-ER0 IH1 TH-AH0 T-AH0-NG-Z P-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-AH0 R-IY1 Z-AH0 N-W-AY1 AY1-V D-AH1-N DH-AH0 M-IY1 T-IH0-NG


just double check for us, when was the last fruit or vegetable discovered in the wild.

JH-AH1-S-T D-AH1 B-AH0-L CH-EH1-K F-AO1 R-AH1 S-W-EH1 N-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 L-AE1-S-T F-R-UW1 T-AO1-R V-EH1-JH T-AH0 B-AH0-L D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0 D-IH0-N DH-AH0 W-AY1-L-D


yeah. okay, good. so the next-

Y-AE1 OW2 K-EY1 G-UH1-D S-OW1 DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T


really, it's the copycat companies.

R-IH1 L-IY0 IH1-T-S DH-AH0 K-AA1 P-IY0 K-AE2-T K-AH1-M P-AH0 N-IY0-Z


i thought it's important to talk about and i've brought a few that brought a few of the cards here.absolute bastards.

AY1 TH-AO1 T-IH1-T S-IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N-T T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1 T-AH0-N D-AY1-V B-R-AO1 T-AH0 F-Y-UW1 DH-AE1-T B-R-AO1 T-AH0 F-Y-UW1 AH1-V DH-AH0 K-AA1-R-D-Z HH-IH0 R-EH1 B-AH0-S T-OW2-L-T B-AE1-S T-ER0-D-Z


we done that in 2004, hadn't we.sending you a big birthday [inaudible 00:01:35].

W-IY1 D-AH1-N DH-AE1 T-IH0-N T-UW1 TH-AW1 Z-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R HH-AE1 D-AH0-N T-W-EH1 S-IH0-N D-IH0 NG-Y-UW1 AH0 B-IH1-G B-ER1-TH D-EY2 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-W-AH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 F-AY1-V S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


yeah. i mean, there's no heart in that, is there, the eyes aren't even that googly.

Y-AE1 AY1 M-IY1-N DH-EH1-R Z-N-OW1 HH-AA1-R T-IH0-N DH-AE1 T-IH1-Z DH-EH1-R DH-AH0 AY1 Z-AA1 R-AH0-N T-IY1 V-IH0-N DH-AE1-T G-UW1 G-L-IY0


all that we put into this, because i don't know if people can see that-

AO1-L DH-AE1 T-W-IY1 P-UH1 T-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-IH1-S B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 IH1-F P-IY1 P-AH0-L K-AE1-N S-IY1 DH-AE1-T


but on the letter from the fennel it says mr-

B-AH1 T-AA1-N DH-AH0 L-EH1 T-ER0 F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 F-EH1 N-AH0 L-IH1-T S-EH1 Z-M-IH1-S T-ER0


yeah, and with these ones, they've just drawn the arms and legs on haven't they. where as we did proper plasticine ones.plasticine ones.

Y-AE1 AH0-N D-W-IH1-DH DH-IY1 Z-W-AH1-N-Z DH-EY1-V JH-AH1-S-T D-R-AO1-N DH-AH0 AA1-R-M Z-AH0-N D-L-EH1-G Z-AA1-N HH-AE1 V-AH0-N-T DH-EY1 W-EH1 R-AE1 Z-W-IY1 D-IH1-D P-R-AA1 P-ER0 P-L-AE1-S T-IH0 S-IY2 N-W-AA2-N S-AH0 P-L-AE1-S T-IH0 V-N-IY0 W-AH1-N-Z


and they're same money were getting for each card when we're putting loads more work into it.

AH0-N-D TH-EH1-R S-EY1-M M-AH1 N-IY0 W-ER0 G-EH1 T-IH0-NG F-AO1 R-IY1-CH K-AA1-R D-W-EH1 N-W-ER0 P-AH1 T-IH0 NG-L-OW1-D Z-M-AO1 R-W-ER1 K-IH0-N T-UW1 IH1-T


so yeah, we're really pushing for time now. so i thought we'd try and end on a high, we try and go out doing what we do best.

S-OW1 Y-AE1 W-ER0 R-IH1 L-IY0 P-UH1 SH-IH0-NG F-AO1-R T-AY1-M N-AW1 S-OW1 AY1 TH-AO1 T-W-EH1-D T-R-AY1 AH0-N D-EH1-N D-AA1 N-AH0 HH-AY1 W-IY1 T-R-AY1 AH0-N-D G-OW1 AW1-T D-UW1 IH0 NG-W-AH1 T-W-IY1 D-UW1 B-EH1-S-T


exactly, yeah. so i thought maybe something along the lines of like-

IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 Y-AE1 S-OW1 AY1 TH-AO1 T-M-EY1 B-IY0 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-AH0 L-AO1-NG DH-AH0 L-AY1-N Z-AH1 V-L-AY1-K


"thank you for staying with us in our rough patch and ignoring the advice of the financial ombudsman," something like that.

TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 F-AO1-R-S T-EY1 IH0 NG-W-IH1 DH-AH1 S-IH0 N-AW1 ER0 R-AH1-F P-AE1 CH-AH0-N D-IH0 G-N-AO1 R-IH0-NG DH-AH0 AE0-D V-AY1 S-AH1-V DH-AH0 F-AH0 N-AE1-N SH-AH0 L-AA1-M B-AH0-D Z-M-AH0-N S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-L-AY1-K DH-AE1-T


cause he made that report, didn't he, that was a bit damning.

K-AA1-Z HH-IY1 M-EY1-D DH-AE1 T-R-IY0 P-AO1-R-T D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-IY1 DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-IH1-T D-AE1 M-IH0-NG


i'm going to pack these computers up, so they don't-sorry, what was the sentence again? what was the sentence?

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 P-AE1-K DH-IY1-Z K-AH0-M P-Y-UW1 T-ER0 Z-AH1-P S-OW1 DH-EY1 D-AO1-N-T S-ER0 IY0 W-AH1 T-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 S-EH1-N T-AH0-N S-AH0 G-EH1 N-W-AH1 T-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 S-EH1-N T-AH0-N-S


"thank you for sticking with us during our rough patch, and ignoring the advice of the financial ombudsman."

TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 F-AO1-R-S T-IH1 K-IH0 NG-W-IH1 DH-AH1-S D-UH1 R-IH0 NG-AW1 ER0 R-AH1-F P-AE1 CH-AH0-N D-IH0 G-N-AO1 R-IH0-NG DH-AH0 AE0-D V-AY1 S-AH1-V DH-AH0 F-AH0 N-AE1-N SH-AH0 L-AA1-M B-AH0-D Z-M-AH0-N


well you stick with that, i'll get these computers in the van.

W-EH1 L-Y-UW1-S T-IH1 K-W-IH1-DH DH-AE1 T-IH1-L G-EH1-T DH-IY1-Z K-AH0-M P-Y-UW1 T-ER0 Z-IH0-N DH-AH0 V-AE1-N


dian, how's it coming along with the copper wiring?

D-AY1 AH0-N HH-AW1 Z-IH1-T K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-AH0 L-AO1 NG-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 K-AA1 P-ER0 W-AY1 R-IH0-NG


yep, okay. wrap it up my love. okay, cheers.

Y-EH1 P-OW2 K-EY1 R-AE1 P-IH1 T-AH1 P-M-AY1 L-AH1 V-OW2 K-EY1 CH-IH1-R-Z


okay. so our next performer, he's also not doing a show at the fringe.

OW2 K-EY1 S-OW1 AW1 ER0 N-EH1-K-S-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 HH-IY1 Z-AO1-L S-OW0 N-AA1-T D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 AE1-T DH-AH0 F-R-IH1-N-JH


so yeah, but he does do a show in luton, called utter luton, which you should totally check out if you're ever in luton, and if you're not in luton-

S-OW1 Y-AE1 B-AH1-T HH-IY1 D-AH1-Z D-UW1 AH0 SH-OW1 IH0 N-L-UW1 T-AH0-N K-AO1-L D-AH1 T-ER0 L-UW1 T-AH0 N-W-IH1 CH-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D T-OW1 T-AH0 L-IY0 CH-EH1 K-AW1 T-IH1 F-Y-UH1 R-EH1 V-ER0 IH0 N-L-UW1 T-AH0 N-AH0-N D-IH1 F-Y-UH1-R N-AA1 T-IH0 N-L-UW1 T-AH0-N


i also has a book that he can sell to you at the end, if you want to buy that book from him.

AY1 AO1-L S-OW0 HH-AE1 Z-AH0 B-UH1-K DH-AE1-T HH-IY1 K-AE1-N S-EH1-L T-UW1 Y-UW1 AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1-N D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 B-AY1 DH-AE1-T B-UH1-K F-R-AH1-M HH-IH1-M


ah, he has got with him. so yeah, you should see him for that.

AA1 HH-IY1 HH-AE1-Z G-AA1 T-W-IH1-DH HH-IH1-M S-OW1 Y-AE1 Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D S-IY1 HH-IH1-M F-AO1-R DH-AE1-T


put your hands together everyone. oh, i should say he, when i say his name-.

P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2 N-OW1 AY1 SH-UH1-D S-EY1 HH-IY1 W-EH1 N-AY1 S-EY1 HH-IH1 Z-N-EY1-M


you might think he's going to be a comedian, but he isn't that comedian-

Y-UW1 M-AY1-T TH-IH1-NG-K HH-IY1-Z G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0 K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-N B-AH1-T HH-IY1 IH1 S-AH0-N-T DH-AE1-T K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-N


he just has the same name as that comedian. so yeah, don't-

HH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T HH-AE1-Z DH-AH0 S-EY1-M N-EY1 M-AE1-Z DH-AE1-T K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-N S-OW1 Y-AE1 D-AA1-N-T


this comedian has the same name as him. so don't expect this to be a comedian, it's not, but put your hands together everyone for lee nelson.

DH-IH1-S K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-N HH-AE1-Z DH-AH0 S-EY1-M N-EY1 M-AE1-Z HH-IH1-M S-OW1 D-AA1-N T-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K-T DH-IH1-S T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0 K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0 N-IH1-T S-N-AA1-T B-AH1-T P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N F-AO1-R L-IY1 N-EH1-L S-AH0-N


thank you. oh, i was expecting some real bay leaves to come in the door.

TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 OW1 AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K T-IH0-NG S-AH1 M-R-IY1-L B-EY1 L-IY1-V-Z T-UW1 K-AH1 M-IH0-N DH-AH0 D-AO1-R


okay, yes. so this is yeah... oh, does anyone know what the date... what happened 196 years ago?

OW2 K-EY1 Y-EH1-S S-OW1 DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-Y-AE1 OW1 D-AH1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2-N N-OW1 W-AH1-T DH-AH0 D-EY1 T-W-AH1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N D-W-AH1-N HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0 D-AH0-N D-N-AY1-N T-IY0 S-IH1-K S-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1


no? see and that's the problem with this bloody country.

N-OW1 S-IY1 AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T-S DH-AH0 P-R-AA1 B-L-AH0 M-W-IH1-DH DH-IH1-S B-L-AH1 D-IY0 K-AH1-N T-R-IY0


what happened 196 ago last [inaudible 00:04:16]

W-AH1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N D-W-AH1-N HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0 D-AH0-N D-N-AY1-N T-IY0 S-IH1-K S-AH0 G-OW1 L-AE1-S T-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D S-IH0-K-S T-IY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


what happened 196 years ago last sunday, was the peterloo massacre.

W-AH1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N D-W-AH1-N HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0 D-AH0-N D-N-AY1-N T-IY0 S-IH1-K S-Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1 L-AE1-S-T S-AH1-N D-EY2 W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 P-EH2 T-ER0 L-OW1 M-AE1 S-AH0 K-ER0


excellent, that's why i've written this piece called the tragedy of history.

EH1-K S-AH0 L-AH0-N-T TH-AE1-T S-W-AY1 AY1 V-R-IH1 T-AH0-N DH-IH1-S P-IY1-S K-AO1-L-D DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 AH1-V HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0


basically a lot of people went to peterloo well, it wasn't peterloo, went to the field to manchester to listen to a chartist speak, about basically forming the foundations of the labor party. think well,

B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 P-EH2 T-ER0 L-OW1 W-EH1 L-IH1 T-W-AO1-S-T P-EH2 T-ER0 L-OW1 W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 DH-AH0 F-IY1-L-D T-UW1 M-AE1-N CH-EH2-S T-ER0 T-UW1 L-IH1 S-AH0-N T-UW1 AH0 CH-AA1-R T-IH0-S-T-S P-IY1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 F-AO1-R M-IH0-NG DH-AH0 F-AW0-N D-EY1 SH-AH0-N Z-AH1-V DH-AH0 L-EY1 B-ER0 P-AA1-R T-IY0 TH-IH1-NG K-W-EH1-L


rode a load of people into them with swords and murdered 16 people.

R-OW1 D-AH0 L-OW1 D-AH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0 L-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-EH1 M-W-IH1-DH S-AO1-R-D Z-AH0-N D-M-ER1 D-ER0-D S-IH0-K-S T-IY1-N P-IY1 P-AH0-L


basically for standing up for their political rights whilst wearing their sunday best on a field in manchester, 16th of august 1819.

B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 F-AO1-R-S T-AE1-N D-IH0 NG-AH1-P F-AO1-R DH-EH1-R P-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0 K-AH0-L R-AY1-T S-W-AY1-L-S T-W-EH1 R-IH0-NG DH-EH1-R S-AH1-N D-EY2 B-EH1-S T-AA1 N-AH0 F-IY1-L D-IH0-N M-AE1-N CH-EH2-S T-ER0 S-IH0-K-S T-IY1-N TH-AH1 V-AA1 G-AH0-S T-EY0 T-IY1-N N-AY1-N T-IY1-N


which you can put in your brain pipe and smoke.

W-IH1 CH-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N P-UH1 T-IH0 N-Y-AO1-R B-R-EY1-N P-AY1 P-AH0-N-D S-M-OW1-K


and the other piece of information is that in west of ireland, there's a place called the burren, which looks a bit like the surface of the moon.

AH0-N-D DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 P-IY1 S-AH1 V-IH2-N F-ER0 M-EY1 SH-AH0 N-IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-IH0 N-W-EH1-S T-AH1 V-AY1 ER0 L-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 P-L-EY1-S K-AO1-L-D DH-AH0 B-ER1 N-AH0 W-IH1 CH-L-UH1-K S-AH0 B-IH1 T-L-AY1-K DH-AH0 S-ER1 F-AH0 S-AH1-V DH-AH0 M-UW1-N


somewhere in the fusion between those two ideas.

S-AH1 M-W-EH2 R-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 ZH-AH0-N B-IH0 T-W-IY1-N DH-OW1-Z T-UW1 AY0 D-IY1 AH0-Z


move no stones, build no cairns. the past is not yours. the futures-

M-UW1 V-N-OW1-S T-OW1-N-Z B-IH1-L D-N-OW1 K-EH1-R-N-Z DH-AH0 P-AE1-S T-IH1 Z-N-AA1 T-Y-UH1-R-Z DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0-Z


theirs, you don't create, you just curate, pass on is taught serve, stand and wait.

DH-EH1-R Z-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T K-R-IY0 EY1 T-Y-UW1 JH-AH1-S-T K-Y-UH0 R-AH1-T P-AE1 S-AA1 N-IH1-Z T-AO1-T S-ER1-V-S T-AE1-N D-AH0-N D-W-EY1-T


they have these signs that say move no stones, build no cairns, which has a sort of poetry of its own, but which otherwise is entirely dismal.

DH-EY1 HH-AE1-V DH-IY1-Z S-AY1-N-Z DH-AE1-T S-EY1 M-UW1 V-N-OW1-S T-OW1-N-Z B-IH1-L D-N-OW1 K-EH1-R-N Z-W-IH1-CH HH-AE1 Z-AH0 S-AO1-R T-AH1-V P-OW1 AH0 T-R-IY0 AH1 V-IH1-T S-OW1-N B-AH1 T-W-IH1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0 W-AY2 Z-IH1 Z-IH0-N T-AY1 ER0 L-IY0 D-IH1 Z-M-AH0-L


the intention is to preserve the natural landscape-

DH-AH0 IH0-N T-EH1-N CH-AH0 N-IH1-Z T-UW1 P-R-AH0 Z-ER1-V DH-AH0 N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L L-AE1-N-D-S K-EY2-P


but the landscape is anything but natural. the burren shows human agency all over it.

B-AH1-T DH-AH0 L-AE1-N-D-S K-EY2 P-IH1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2-NG B-AH1 T-N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L DH-AH0 B-ER1 N-AH0 SH-OW1-Z HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0 N-EY1 JH-AH0-N S-IY0 AO1 L-OW1 V-ER0 IH1-T


people have piled the stone, set them up on edge, built elegant-

P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-AE1-V P-AY1-L-D DH-AH0-S T-OW1-N S-EH1-T DH-EH1 M-AH1 P-AA1 N-EH1-JH B-IH1-L T-EH1 L-AH0 G-AH0-N-T


dolmens. people have left their natural mark on the natural landscaper, for other humans to see in their own time and in our.

D-AA1-L M-AH0-N-Z P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-AE1 V-L-EH1-F-T DH-EH1-R N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L M-AA1-R K-AA1-N DH-AH0 N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L L-AE1-N-D-S K-EY2 P-ER0 F-AO1 R-AH1 DH-ER0 HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0-N-Z T-UW1 S-IY1 IH0-N DH-EH1 R-OW1-N T-AY1 M-AH0-N D-IH0 N-AW1 ER0


no stones, build no cairns, the past is not yours, the futures.

N-OW1-S T-OW1-N-Z B-IH1-L D-N-OW1 K-EH1-R-N-Z DH-AH0 P-AE1-S T-IH1 Z-N-AA1 T-Y-UH1-R-Z DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0-Z


you just spectate. you're born to serve, wait at the gate.

Y-UW1 JH-AH1-S-T-S P-EH1-K T-AH0 T-Y-UH1-R B-AO1-R-N T-UW1 S-ER1 V-W-EY1 T-AE1-T DH-AH0 G-EY1-T


letting those to come, know you were here, letting those around you know you were there. to naturally-

L-EH1 T-IH0-NG DH-OW1-Z T-UW1 K-AH1-M N-OW1 Y-UW1 W-ER0 HH-IY1-R L-EH1 T-IH0-NG DH-OW1 Z-ER0 AW1-N D-Y-UW1 N-OW1 Y-UW1 W-ER0 DH-EH1-R T-UW1 N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0 L-IY0


mark, your natural place, accorded by birth as a natural being in the natural world,

M-AA1-R K-Y-AO1-R N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L P-L-EY1 S-AH0 K-AO1-R D-IH0-D B-AY1 B-ER1 TH-AE1 Z-AH0 N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L B-IY1 IH0 NG-IH0-N DH-AH0 N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0 L-W-ER1-L-D


they shall not create, they'll adjudicate, they'll asseverate. sit down, shut up, just serve and wait.

DH-EY1 SH-AE1-L N-AA1-T K-R-IY0 EY1-T TH-EY1 L-AH0 JH-UW1 D-IH0 K-EY2-T TH-EY1 L-AH0 S-EH1 V-ER0 EY2-T S-IH1-T D-AW1-N SH-AH1 T-AH1-P JH-AH1-S-T S-ER1 V-AH0-N D-W-EY1-T


it seems. people no longer make a mark, just respect the marks.

IH1-T S-IY1-M-Z P-IY1 P-AH0-L N-OW1 L-AO1-NG G-ER0 M-EY1 K-AH0 M-AA1-R-K JH-AH1-S T-R-IH0-S P-EH1-K-T DH-AH0 M-AA1-R-K-S


others have made. you don't make history, you watch it.

AH1 DH-ER0-Z HH-AE1 V-M-EY1 D-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-M-EY1-K HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 Y-UW1 W-AA1 CH-IH1-T


you look passively and smile complicity.

Y-UW1 L-UH1-K P-AE1 S-IH0 V-L-IY0 AH0-N-D S-M-AY1-L K-AH0-M P-L-IH1 S-AH0 T-IY0


you don't participate actively. you have no agency, gaze admiringly. look at the heritage, but don't make any.

Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T P-AA0-R T-IH1 S-AH0 P-EY2 T-AE1-K T-IH0 V-L-IY0 Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-N-OW1 EY1 JH-AH0-N S-IY0 G-EY1 Z-AE0 D-M-AY1 R-IH0 NG-L-IY0 L-UH1 K-AE1-T DH-AH0 HH-EH1 R-AH0 T-AH0-JH B-AH1-T D-AA1-N T-M-EY1 K-EH1 N-IY0


and don't make the place untidy. you mustn't move things.

AH0-N-D D-AA1-N T-M-EY1-K DH-AH0 P-L-EY1 S-AH0-N T-AY1 D-IY0 Y-UW1 M-AH1-S T-AH0-N T-M-UW1-V TH-IH1-NG-Z


theirs, don't create, appreciate, pass is taught, serve, stand and wait.

DH-EH1-R-Z D-AA1-N-T K-R-IY0 EY1 T-AH0 P-R-IY1 SH-IY0 EY2-T P-AE1 S-IH1-Z T-AO1-T S-ER1-V-S T-AE1-N D-AH0-N D-W-EY1-T


so you can grow debt, but leave no legacy. so you can watch repeats, but make note, but not make tele.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-AE1-N G-R-OW1 D-EH1-T B-AH1 T-L-IY1 V-N-OW1 L-EH1 G-AH0 S-IY0 S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-AE1 N-W-AA1 CH-R-IH0 P-IY1-T-S B-AH1 T-M-EY1 K-N-OW1-T B-AH1 T-N-AA1 T-M-EY1-K T-EH1 L-IY0


so you can own the past, but not pay the future.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-AE1 N-OW1-N DH-AH0 P-AE1-S-T B-AH1 T-N-AA1-T P-EY1 DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0


so you can venerate, but not generate culture,

S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-AE1-N V-EH1 N-ER0 EY2-T B-AH1 T-N-AA1-T JH-EH1 N-ER0 EY2-T K-AH1-L CH-ER0


so you can buy the t-shirt but not go see, do yourself.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-AE1-N B-AY1 DH-AH0 SH-ER1-T B-AH1 T-N-AA1-T G-OW1 S-IY1 D-UW1 Y-ER0 S-EH1-L-F


so you can charge over a four gone cliff and leave nothing of worth, but well.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 K-AE1-N CH-AA1-R JH-OW1 V-ER0 AH0 F-AO1-R G-AO1-N K-L-IH1 F-AH0-N D-L-IY1 V-N-AH1 TH-IH0 NG-AH1 V-W-ER1-TH B-AH1 T-W-EH1-L


those hairs, arm no bares, raise concerns, reap no tears,

DH-OW1-Z HH-EH1-R Z-AA1-R-M N-OW1 B-EH1-R Z-R-EY1-Z K-AH0-N S-ER1-N Z-R-IY1 P-N-OW1 T-EH1-R-Z


please move those stones, build those cairns. show those to come.

P-L-IY1 Z-M-UW1-V DH-OW1-Z-S T-OW1-N-Z B-IH1-L-D DH-OW1-Z K-EH1-R-N-Z SH-OW1 DH-OW1-Z T-UW1 K-AH1-M


all that those you haven't learned the lessons of history thing. so this one is basically all about the same stuff.

AO1-L DH-AE1-T DH-OW1 Z-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N T-L-ER1 N-IH0-D DH-AH0 L-EH1 S-AH0-N Z-AH1-V HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 TH-IH1-NG S-OW1 DH-IH1 S-W-AH1 N-IH1-Z B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 AO1 L-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 S-EY1-M-S T-AH1-F


i'm kind of, what's the word,

IH1-M K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-W-AH0-T-S DH-AH0 W-ER1-D


you know, i like to think. what me tweed jacket and me rolled up trousers, terribly.

Y-UW1 N-OW1 AY1 L-AY1-K T-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-W-AH1 T-M-IY1 T-W-IY1-D JH-AE1 K-AH0 T-AH0-N D-M-IY1 R-OW1-L D-AH1-P T-R-AW1 Z-ER0-Z T-EH1 R-AH0 B-L-IY0


edgy. so, okay this one rhymes and everything, but it's about... oh, very quickly. a brief interrogation,

EH1 JH-IY0 S-OW1 OW2 K-EY1 DH-IH1 S-W-AH1 N-R-AY1-M Z-AH0-N D-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2-NG B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-AH0 B-AW1 T-OW1 V-EH1 R-IY0 K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 AH0 B-R-IY1 F-IH0-N T-EH2 R-AH0 G-EY1 SH-AH0-N


there's a c word in this at the end. the one you're not meant to use, well the-

DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 S-IY1 W-ER1 D-IH0-N DH-IH1 S-AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1-N-D DH-AH0 W-AH1 N-Y-UH1-R N-AA1 T-M-EH1-N-T T-UW1 Y-UW1 Z-W-EH1-L DH-AH0


history, it is about the most powerful.

HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 IH1 T-IH1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 M-OW1-S-T P-AW1 ER0 F-AH0-L


i did, yes, absolutely. as a lacanian in a post lacanian kind of, what's the word, interrogation of freud, the notion of-

AY1 D-IH1 D-Y-EH1 S-AE2-B S-AH0 L-UW1 T-L-IY0 AE1 Z-AH0 L-AH0 K-EY1 N-IY0 AH0 N-IH0 N-AH0 P-OW1-S T-L-AH0 K-EY1 N-IY0 AH0-N K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-W-AH0-T-S DH-AH0 W-ER1 D-IH0-N T-EH2 R-AH0 G-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH1-V F-R-OY1-D DH-AH0 N-OW1 SH-AH0 N-AH1-V


therefore, it's more offensive to that phallocentric society.

DH-EH1-R F-AO2 R-IH1-T S-M-AO1 R-AH0 F-EH1-N S-IH0-V T-UW1 DH-AE1-T F-AE2 L-AH0 S-EH1 T-R-IH0-K S-AH0 S-AY1 AH0 T-IY0


so i'm going to use it as a piece of liberation.

S-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 Y-UW1 Z-IH1 T-AE1 Z-AH0 P-IY1 S-AH1 V-L-IH2 B-ER0 EY1 SH-AH0-N


okay. so there you go. hey, i don't like swearing, it's fun in it.

OW2 K-EY1 S-OW1 DH-EH1 R-Y-UW1 G-OW1 HH-EY1 AY1 D-AA1-N T-L-AY1-K S-W-EH1 R-IH0 NG-IH1-T-S F-AH1 N-IH0 N-IH1-T


an underused satirical device i think you'll find .the king of the elves strode swift to his throne,

AE1 N-AH2-N D-ER0 Y-UW1-Z-D S-AH0 T-IH1 R-AH0 K-AH0-L D-IH0 V-AY1 S-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-Y-UW1-L F-AY1-N-D DH-AH0 K-IH1 NG-AH1-V DH-AH0 EH1-L-V-Z-S T-R-OW1-D S-W-IH1-F-T T-UW1 HH-IH1-Z TH-R-OW1-N


the rebellion quelled, the domain still his own there. he stood on the dais

DH-AH0 R-IH0 B-EH1 L-Y-AH0-N K-W-EH1-L-D DH-AH0 D-OW0 M-EY1-N-S T-IH1-L HH-IH1 Z-OW1-N DH-EH1-R HH-IY1-S T-UH1 D-AA1-N DH-AH0 D-EY1-Z


though he stood on the dais, his regime to enforce, with what he'd learned on a management training course.

DH-OW1 HH-IY1-S T-UH1 D-AA1-N DH-AH0 D-EY1-Z HH-IH1 Z-R-AH0 ZH-IY1-M T-UW1 EH0-N F-AO1-R S-W-IH1 DH-W-AH1-T HH-EH1 D-L-ER1 N-IH0 D-AA1 N-AH0 M-AE1 N-AH0 JH-M-AH0-N-T T-R-EY1 N-IH0-NG K-AO1-R-S


fellow elves. he smiled and held up a hand. the room was still stately.

F-EH1 L-OW0 EH1-L-V-Z HH-IY1 S-M-AY1-L D-AH0-N-D HH-EH1-L D-AH1 P-AH0 HH-AE1-N-D DH-AH0 R-UW1 M-W-AA1-Z-S T-IH1-L-S T-EY1 T-L-IY0


it's appointment so grand. all the pump of the elvish in this throne room in grained. but the consultant said the common touch must be maintained.

IH1-T S-AH0 P-OY1-N T-M-AH0-N-T S-OW1 G-R-AE1-N D-AO1-L DH-AH0 P-AH1-M P-AH1-V DH-AH0 EH1-L V-IH0 SH-IH0-N DH-IH1-S TH-R-OW1 N-R-UW1 M-IH0-N G-R-EY1-N-D B-AH1-T DH-AH0 K-AH0-N S-AH1-L T-AH0-N-T S-EH1-D DH-AH0 K-AA1 M-AH0-N T-AH1 CH-M-AH1-S-T B-IY1 M-EY0-N T-EY1-N-D


was intended to level the field. outside steam, the corpses where insurgents had yielded their cause to the forces the monarch had hired dwarf mercenaries from the kingdom of [dwanick ufiel 00:09:37].

W-AA1 Z-IH0-N T-EH1-N D-AH0-D T-UW1 L-EH1 V-AH0-L DH-AH0 F-IY1-L D-AW1-T S-AY1-D-S T-IY1-M DH-AH0 K-AO1-R-P S-AH0 Z-W-EH1 R-IH0-N S-ER1 JH-AH0-N-T-S HH-AE1 D-Y-IY1-L D-AH0-D DH-EH1-R K-AA1-Z T-UW1 DH-AH0 F-AO1-R S-IH0-Z DH-AH0 M-AA1 N-AA2-R-K HH-AE1-D HH-AY1 ER0-D D-W-AO1-R F-M-ER1 S-AH0 N-EH2 R-IY0-Z F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 K-IH1-NG D-AH0 M-AH1-V D-W-AA1 N-AH0 K-Y-UW1 F-IY0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-N-AY1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 S-EH1 V-AH0-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


you see traditionally, elves fought with the stems of fresh roses. competence with strike swift,

Y-UW1 S-IY1 T-R-AH0 D-IH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0 L-IY0 EH1-L-V-Z F-AO1 T-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0-S T-EH1-M Z-AH1-V F-R-EH1 SH-R-OW1 Z-IH0-Z K-AA1-M P-AH0 T-IH0-N S-W-IH1-DH-S T-R-AY1-K S-W-IH1-F-T


gladiatorial poses, their poison, their battle cries judged by kings quorum. and the one who did it nicest declared victor ludorum.

G-L-AE2 D-IY0 AH0 T-EH1 R-IY0 AH0-L P-OW1 Z-AH0-Z DH-EH1-R P-OY1 Z-AH0-N DH-EH1-R B-AE1 T-AH0-L K-R-AY1-Z JH-AH1-JH-D B-AY1 K-IH1-NG-Z K-W-AO1 R-AH0 M-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 W-AH1-N HH-UW1 D-IH1 D-IH1 T-N-AY1 S-IH0-S-T D-IH0 K-L-EH1-R-D V-IH1-K T-ER0 L-UW0 D-AO1 R-AH0-M


children. but as was proved, conclusively-

CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N B-AH1 T-AE1 Z-W-AA1-Z P-R-UW1-V-D K-AH0-N K-L-UW1 S-IH0 V-L-IY0


... see dust to go round. so, your children are better off under the gr-

S-IY1 D-AH1-S-T T-UW1 G-OW1 R-AW1-N-D S-OW1 Y-AO1-R CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0 N-AA1-R B-EH1 T-ER0 AO1 F-AH1-N D-ER0 DH-AH0 G-R-EY1


hi. i have two of my own. it's counterproductive to cry-

HH-AY1 AY1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 AH1 V-M-AY1 OW1 N-IH1-T-S K-AW1-N T-ER0 P-R-AH0 D-AH2-K T-IH0-V T-UW1 K-R-AY1


and to moan and to ululate, holler, howl, keen scream, beam of rope-

AH0-N-D T-UW1 M-OW1 N-AH0-N-D T-UW1 UH1 L-AH0 L-EY2-T HH-AA1 L-ER0 HH-AW1-L K-IY1-N-S K-R-IY1-M B-IY1 M-AH1 V-R-OW1-P


be of economic use. these mit-

B-IY1 AH1 V-EH2 K-AH0 N-AA1 M-IH0 K-Y-UW1-S DH-IY1 Z-EH1 M-AY1 T-IY1


...-tens we make, they're known across the world, none softer, none finer, gut fleece, softly curled. they're our glory. elves'-

T-EH1-N Z-W-IY1 M-EY1-K TH-EH1-R N-OW1 N-AH0 K-R-AO1-S DH-AH0 W-ER1-L D-N-AH1-N S-AA1-F T-ER0 N-AH1-N F-AY1 N-ER0 G-AH1-T F-L-IY1-S S-AO1-F T-L-IY0 K-ER1-L-D TH-EH1 R-AW1 ER0 G-L-AO1 R-IY0 EH1-L-V-Z


... glory. fellow elves, don't be churlish. the best footwear for young cats is defiant-

G-L-AO1 R-IY0 F-EH1 L-OW0 EH1-L-V-Z D-AA1-N-T B-IY1 CH-ER1 L-IH0-SH DH-AH0 B-EH1-S-T F-UH1 T-W-EH2-R F-AO1 R-Y-AH1-NG K-AE1-T S-IH1-Z D-IH0 F-AY1 AH0-N-T


... and so, do you want that your kids died in vain?

AH0-N-D S-OW1 D-UW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T DH-AE1 T-Y-AO1-R K-IH1-D-Z D-AY1 D-IH0-N V-EY1-N


these complainers will say that they won't come again. their life is a life once it's gone, lost forever, but you're young and you're vigorous. go make another.

DH-IY1-Z K-AA1-M P-L-EY2 N-ER0 Z-W-IH1-L S-EY1 DH-AE1-T DH-EY1 W-OW1-N-T K-AH1 M-AH0 G-EH1-N DH-EH1-R L-AY1 F-IH1 Z-AH0 L-AY1 F-W-AH1-N S-IH1-T-S G-AO1 N-L-AO1-S-T F-ER0 EH1 V-ER0 B-AH1 T-Y-UH1 R-Y-AH1 NG-AH0-N D-Y-UH1-R V-IH1 G-ER0 AH0-S G-OW1 M-EY1 K-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0


and so that your lives and the lives of your children did not go to waste, we must still export mittens.

AH0-N-D S-OW1 DH-AE1 T-Y-AO1-R L-IH1-V Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 L-IH1-V Z-AH1 V-Y-AO1-R CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N D-IH1 D-N-AA1-T G-OW1 T-UW1 W-EY1-S T-W-IY1 M-AH1-S-T-S T-IH1 L-IH0-K-S P-AO1-R T-M-IH1 T-AH0-N-Z


that the wolfs are our friends. to keep order, they'll stay here.

DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 W-UH1-L-F S-AA1 R-AW1 ER0 F-R-EH1-N-D-Z T-UW1 K-IY1 P-AO1-R D-ER0 TH-EY1-L-S T-EY1 HH-IY1-R


and he pauses, breath held.

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 P-AO1 Z-AH0-Z B-R-EH1-TH HH-EH1-L-D


and it's in this way the cunts who would sell education, ensure passive compliance from the knowledge staff nation, ensure the lessons of history-

AH0-N D-IH1-T S-IH0-N DH-IH1 S-W-EY1 DH-AH0 K-AH1-N-T-S HH-UW1 W-UH1-D S-EH1 L-EH2 JH-AH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0 N-EH0-N SH-UH1-R P-AE1 S-IH0-V K-AH0-M P-L-AY1 AH0-N-S F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 N-AA1 L-AH0-JH-S T-AE1 F-N-EY1 SH-AH0 N-EH0-N SH-UH1-R DH-AH0 L-EH1 S-AH0-N Z-AH1-V HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0


... go unlearned, so repeated. makes it doublespeak. lies in kant's rhetoric reheated.

G-OW1 AH0 N-L-EH1-R-N-D S-OW1 R-IH0 P-IY1 T-IH0 D-M-EY1-K S-IH1-T D-AH1 B-AH0-L-S P-IY2 K-L-AY1 Z-IH0-N K-AE1-N-T S-R-EH1 T-ER0 IH0 K-R-IY0 HH-IY1 T-IH0-D


we'll watch history repeat, and thanks to lessons unlearned, as the killing fields swell and the corpses are burnt.

W-EH1 L-W-AA1-CH HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 R-IH0 P-IY1 T-AH0-N-D TH-AE1-NG-K-S T-UW1 L-EH1 S-AH0-N Z-AH0 N-L-EH1-R-N D-AE1-Z DH-AH0 K-IH1 L-IH0-NG F-IY1-L-D-Z S-W-EH1 L-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 K-AO1-R-P S-AH0 Z-AA1-R B-ER1-N-T


the future looked like lead and i decided that if that was it, i might as well be dead. and i knew how i do it.

DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0 L-UH1-K T-L-AY1 K-L-EH1 D-AH0-N D-AY1 D-IH0 S-AY1 D-IH0-D DH-AE1 T-IH1-F DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-IH1 T-AY1 M-AY1 T-AE1 Z-W-EH1-L B-IY1 D-EH1 D-AH0-N D-AY1 N-UW1 HH-AW1 AY1 D-UW1 IH1-T


if my body was a prison this was how i'd seek parole and i would've-

IH1 F-M-AY1 B-AA1 D-IY0 W-AA1 Z-AH0 P-R-IH1 Z-AH0-N DH-IH1 S-W-AA1-Z HH-AW1 IH1-D S-IY1-K P-ER0 OW1 L-AH0-N D-AY1 W-UH1-D-L-V


... come out to the people that i worked with in my day job. use the money that i got from writing poems to build a wardrobe and-

K-AH1 M-AW1-T T-UW1 DH-AH0 P-IY1 P-AH0-L DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-ER1-K T-W-IH1 DH-IH0-N M-AY1 D-EY1 JH-AA1 B-Y-UW1-Z DH-AH0 M-AH1 N-IY0 DH-AE1 T-AY1 G-AA1-T F-R-AH1 M-R-AY1 T-IH0-NG P-OW1 AH0-M-Z T-UW1 B-IH1-L D-AH0 W-AO1-R D-R-OW2 B-AH0-N-D


yes. i should have told you. but i never got around-

Y-EH1 S-AY1 SH-UH1-D HH-AE1-V T-OW1-L D-Y-UW1 B-AH1 T-AY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 G-AA1 T-ER0 AW1-N-D


your daughter could save me.

Y-AO1-R D-AO1 T-ER0 K-UH1-D S-EY1 V-M-IY1


... body should go and see her show. it ties in very nicely with my show as well but that's not the reason you should go and see it. you should go see it because-

B-AA1 D-IY0 SH-UH1-D G-OW1 AH0-N-D S-IY1 HH-ER0 SH-OW1 IH1-T T-AY1 Z-IH0-N V-EH1 R-IY0 N-AY1 S-L-IY0 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 SH-OW1 AE1 Z-W-EH1-L B-AH1-T TH-AE1-T S-N-AA1-T DH-AH0 R-IY1 Z-AH0 N-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D G-OW1 AH0-N-D S-IY1 IH1 T-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D G-OW1 S-IY1 IH1-T B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


... harry. who's that? i mean, i just sat in the corner like i was an ordinary guest and then i-

HH-EH1 R-IY0 HH-UW1-Z DH-AE1 T-AY1 M-IY1 N-AY1 JH-AH1-S-T S-AE1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 K-AO1-R N-ER0 L-AY1 K-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1 N-AO1-R D-AH0 N-EH2 R-IY0 G-EH1-S T-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-AY1


i popped up and expected you all to behave as if i knew it. but, i mean-

AY1 P-AA1-P T-AH1 P-AH0-N D-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K T-AH0 D-Y-UW1 AO1-L T-UW1 B-IH0 HH-EY1 V-AE1 Z-IH1 F-AY1 N-UW1 IH1-T B-AH1 T-AY1 M-IY1-N


... as you would normally. i'm not going to be here very long. i'm going to be introducing, obviously my peo-

AE1 Z-Y-UW1 W-UH1 D-N-AO1-R M-AH0 L-IY0 IH1-M N-AA1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 HH-IY1-R V-EH1 R-IY0 L-AO1 NG-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 IH2-N T-R-AH0 D-UW1 S-IH0 NG-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 M-AY1 P-OW1


... -ple, who very kindly came along. some of them are here. one of them is not.

P-L-IY1 HH-UW1 V-EH1 R-IY0 K-AY1-N D-L-IY0 K-EY1 M-AH0 L-AO1-NG S-AH1 M-AH1-V DH-EH1 M-AA1-R HH-IY1 R-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-EH1 M-IH1 Z-N-AA1-T


you know, that's quite a surprising and an awful thing that happens but other than that, not really. i work... as i say, it's quite exciting where i work.

Y-UW1 N-OW1 TH-AE1-T-S K-W-AY1 T-AH0 S-ER0 P-R-AY1 Z-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-AE1 N-AA1 F-AH0-L TH-IH1-NG DH-AE1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-Z B-AH1 T-AH1 DH-ER0 DH-AE1-N DH-AE1 T-N-AA1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 AY1 W-ER1 K-AE1 Z-AY1 S-EY1 IH1-T-S K-W-AY1 T-IH0-K S-AY1 T-IH0 NG-W-EH1 R-AY1 W-ER1-K


but i can't tell you about it because i signed the official secrets act, so-

B-AH1 T-AY1 K-AE1-N-T T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 S-AY1-N-D DH-AH0 AH0 F-IH1 SH-AH0-L S-IY1 K-R-AH0-T S-AE1-K-T S-OW1


but what i've been doing is when she goes behind a bookshelf or something, i've been ringing a little bell-

B-AH1 T-W-AH1 T-AY1-V B-IH1-N D-UW1 IH0 NG-IH1 Z-W-EH1-N SH-IY1 G-OW1-Z B-IH0 HH-AY1-N D-AH0 B-UH1-K SH-EH2-L F-AO1-R S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-AY1-V B-IH1 N-R-IH1 NG-IH0 NG-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-EH1-L


so i don't think she's... the awful thing is, a couple of times when she's been out of it, and i'm sure she's out of the building-

S-OW1 AY1 D-AA1-N-T TH-IH1-NG-K SH-EH1-S DH-AH0 AA1 F-AH0-L TH-IH1 NG-IH1 Z-AH0 K-AH1 P-AH0 L-AH1-V T-AY1-M Z-W-EH1-N SH-EH1-S B-IH1 N-AW1 T-AH1 V-IH1 T-AH0-N D-IH1-M SH-UH1-R SH-EH1 S-AW1 T-AH1-V DH-AH0 B-IH1-L D-IH0-NG


i've heard a little bell ringing somewhere. so, i'm not sure if... anyway. but that's... i should say-

AY1-V HH-ER1 D-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-EH1-L R-IH1 NG-IH0-NG S-AH1 M-W-EH2-R S-OW1 IH1-M N-AA1-T SH-UH1 R-IH1 F-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 B-AH1-T TH-AE1-T S-AY1 SH-UH1-D S-EY1


i mean, stand up to me is of those evenings where i don't know what you're expecting. i don't have time to ask you all, but it would be nice-

AY1 M-IY1-N-S T-AE1-N D-AH1-P T-UW1 M-IY1 IH1 Z-AH1-V DH-OW1 Z-IY1 V-N-IH0-NG Z-W-EH1 R-AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 W-AH1 T-Y-UH1 R-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K T-IH0 NG-AY1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1-V T-AY1-M T-UW1 AE1-S K-Y-UW1 AO1-L B-AH1 T-IH1 T-W-UH1-D B-IY1 N-AY1-S


... now i've said too much. i was doing rather well two or three minutes ago, wasn't i? and now i've done so. what we should probably-

N-AW1 AY1-V S-EH1-D T-UW1 M-AH1 CH-AY1 W-AA1-Z D-UW1 IH0 NG-R-AE1 DH-ER0 W-EH1-L T-UW1 AO1-R TH-R-IY1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0 G-OW1 W-AO1-S T-AY1 AH0-N D-N-AW1 AY1-V D-AH1-N S-OW1 W-AH1 T-W-IY1 SH-UH1-D P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0


everybody in the bizarre love pentagon was also in edinburgh.

EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0 IH0-N DH-AH0 B-AH0 Z-AA1-R L-AH1-V P-EH1-N T-IH0 G-AA2 N-W-AA1 Z-AO1-L S-OW0 IH0 N-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0


my sister was amazing. she still is amazing-

M-AY1 S-IH1-S T-ER0 W-AA1 Z-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG SH-IY1-S T-IH1 L-IH1 Z-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG


... when i'm struggling. and she kind of took care of my parents and she left me-

W-EH1 N-IH1-M-S T-R-AH1 G-AH0 L-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 K-AY1-N D-AH1-V T-UH1-K K-EH1 R-AH1 V-M-AY1 P-EH1 R-AH0-N-T S-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 L-EH1-F T-M-IY1


... the space to do what i needed to do, which was to have a breakup conversation without really ever having the relationship.

DH-AH0-S P-EY1-S T-UW1 D-UW1 W-AH1 T-AY1 N-IY1 D-AH0-D T-UW1 D-UW1 W-IH1 CH-W-AA1-Z T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 B-R-EY1 K-AH2-P K-AA2-N V-ER0 S-EY1 SH-AH0 N-W-IH0 TH-AW1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 EH1 V-ER0 HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG DH-AH0 R-IY0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-IH2-P


so, i met the guy that i was in love with. we went out for breakfast-

S-OW1 AY1 M-EH1-T DH-AH0 G-AY1 DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0 N-L-AH1 V-W-IH1 DH-W-IY1 W-EH1-N T-AW1-T F-AO1-R B-R-EH1-K F-AH0-S-T


edinburgh morning to a cafe. and i had to explain to him that-

EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 M-AO1-R N-IH0-NG T-UW1 AH0 K-AH0 F-EY1 AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 IH0-K-S P-L-EY1-N T-UW1 HH-IH1-M DH-AE1-T


there was the risk that of if his marriage broke up, he would return to the states where he was from and if i thought about that for too long-

DH-EH1 R-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 R-IH1-S-K DH-AE1 T-AH1 V-IH1-F HH-IH1 Z-M-EH1 R-IH0-JH B-R-OW1 K-AH1-P HH-IY1 W-UH1 D-R-IH0 T-ER1-N T-UW1 DH-AH0-S T-EY1-T S-W-EH1-R HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z F-R-AH1 M-AH0-N D-IH1 F-AY1 TH-AO1 T-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1-T F-AO1-R T-UW1 L-AO1-NG


... it was like this massive hole opened up in front of me.

IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-L-AY1-K DH-IH1 S-M-AE1 S-IH0-V HH-OW1 L-OW1 P-AH0-N D-AH1 P-IH0-N F-R-AH1-N T-AH1 V-M-IY1


so i was just trying not to think about it. and he was obviously very upset at how hurt i was but-

S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z JH-AH1-S-T T-R-AY1 IH0-NG N-AA1-T T-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1 T-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 V-EH1 R-IY0 AH0-P S-EH1 T-AE1-T HH-AW1 HH-ER1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z B-AH1-T


... i do also remember him saying edinburgh is probably a really good place to be depressed.

AY1 D-UW1 AO1-L S-OW0 R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 HH-IH1-M S-EY1 IH0 NG-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 IH1-Z P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 AH0 R-IH1 L-IY0 G-UH1-D P-L-EY1-S T-UW1 B-IY1 D-IH0 P-R-EH1-S-T


like he had been broken hearted once in san francisco, you know?

L-AY1-K HH-IY1 HH-AE1-D B-IH1-N B-R-OW1 K-AH0-N HH-AA1-R T-AH0 D-W-AH1-N S-IH0-N S-AE1-N F-R-AE0-N S-IH1-S K-OW0 Y-UW1 N-OW1


tanned, healthy, happy people around him and the sun was shining and it was like this personal affront from the universe.

T-AE1-N-D HH-EH1-L TH-IY0 HH-AE1 P-IY0 P-IY1 P-AH0 L-ER0 AW1-N-D HH-IH1 M-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-AH1 N-W-AA1-Z SH-AY1 N-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-L-AY1-K DH-IH1-S P-ER1 S-IH0 N-IH0 L-AH0 F-R-AH1-N-T F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 Y-UW1 N-AH0 V-ER2-S


i guess it's gray stone and rain and this big fucking mountain in the middle of it all-

AY1 G-EH1 S-IH1-T-S G-R-EY1-S T-OW1 N-AH0-N D-R-EY1 N-AH0-N-D DH-IH1-S B-IH1-G F-AH1 K-IH0-NG M-AW1-N T-AH0 N-IH0-N DH-AH0 M-IH1 D-AH0 L-AH1 V-IH1 T-AO1-L


... you know? it's like, everything is attuned with your feelings. so, if you're going to choose a place to be depressed-

Y-UW1 N-OW1 IH1-T S-L-AY1 K-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-IH1 Z-AH0 T-UW1-N D-W-IH1 DH-Y-AO1-R F-IY1 L-IH0-NG-Z S-OW1 IH1 F-Y-UH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 CH-UW1 Z-AH0 P-L-EY1-S T-UW1 B-IY1 D-IH0 P-R-EH1-S-T


... after that conversation in the cafe-

AE1-F T-ER0 DH-AE1-T K-AA2-N V-ER0 S-EY1 SH-AH0 N-IH0-N DH-AH0 K-AH0 F-EY1


we... i kind of death walked around edinburgh for few days.

W-IY1 AY1 K-AY1-N D-AH1-V D-EH1 TH-W-AO1-K T-ER0 AW1-N D-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 F-AO1-R F-Y-UW1 D-EY1-Z


depressives aren't really good company. we're really preoccupied with ourselves.

D-IH0 P-R-EH1 S-IH0-V Z-AA1 R-AH0-N T-R-IH1 L-IY0 G-UH1-D K-AH1-M P-AH0 N-IY0 W-ER0 R-IH1 L-IY0 P-R-IY0 AA1 K-Y-AH0 P-AY2 D-W-IH1 DH-AW0 ER0 S-EH1-L-V-Z


i remember saying once, probably in response to a totally banal question from my sister like, "do you want to go for dinner tonight?" saying, "no."

AY1 R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 S-EY1 IH0 NG-W-AH1-N-S P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 IH0 N-R-IH0-S P-AA1-N-S T-UW1 AH0 T-OW1 T-AH0 L-IY0 B-AH0 N-AA1-L K-W-EH1-S CH-AH0-N F-R-AH1-M M-AY1 S-IH1-S T-ER0 L-AY1-K D-UW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 G-OW1 F-AO1-R D-IH1 N-ER0 T-AH0 N-AY1-T S-EY1 IH0-NG N-OW1


"i want to go back to london and jump off waterloo bridge."

AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 G-OW1 B-AE1-K T-UW1 L-AH1-N D-AH0 N-AH0-N-D JH-AH1-M P-AO1 F-W-AO1 T-ER0 L-UW2 B-R-IH1-JH


and i can laugh about it now because i sound like a stroppy 16 year old, and it wasn't a genuine suicide threat-

AH0-N D-AY1 K-AE1 N-L-AE1 F-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1 T-N-AW1 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 S-AW1-N D-L-AY1 K-AH0-S T-R-AA1 P-IY0 S-IH0-K-S T-IY1 N-Y-IH1 R-OW1-L D-AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AO1-S T-AH0 JH-EH1 N-Y-AH0 W-AH0-N S-UW1 AH0 S-AY2-D TH-R-EH1-T


... but i knew that i didn't have the wherewithal to change that.

B-AH1 T-AY1 N-UW1 DH-AE1 T-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V DH-AH0 W-EH1 R-W-IH0 DH-AO2-L T-UW1 CH-EY1-N-JH DH-AE1-T


i didn't, couldn't work. i didn't want to work-

AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-W-ER1 K-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 W-ER1-K


and i think i needed that. and that's why i had to leave london.

AH0-N D-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-AY1 N-IY1 D-AH0-D DH-AE1 T-AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T S-W-AY1 AY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 L-IY1 V-L-AH1-N D-AH0-N


because could not afford to do that in london.

B-IH0 K-AO1-Z K-UH1 D-N-AA1 T-AH0 F-AO1-R-D T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-AE1 T-IH0 N-L-AH1-N D-AH0-N


there were... it felt like a huge victory-

DH-EH1 R-W-ER0 IH1-T F-EH1-L T-L-AY1 K-AH0 HH-Y-UW1-JH V-IH1-K T-ER0 IY0


... if i managed to make it out of the house for simple things.

IH1 F-AY1 M-AE1 N-AH0-JH-D T-UW1 M-EY1 K-IH1 T-AW1 T-AH1-V DH-AH0 HH-AW1-S F-AO1-R S-IH1-M P-AH0-L TH-IH1-NG-Z


i was trying to go for a run every day, just because, you know, exercise-

AY1 W-AA1-Z T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-OW1 F-AO1 R-AH0 R-AH1 N-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 D-EY1 JH-AH1-S-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-Y-UW1 N-OW1 EH1-K S-ER0 S-AY2-Z


... it's meant to help you when you're depressed. but i have been a super fit, half marathon running depressive and i guess it just doesn't work for everybody, but i try to do it anyway.

IH1-T S-M-EH1-N-T T-UW1 HH-EH1-L P-Y-UW1 W-EH1 N-Y-UH1-R D-IH0 P-R-EH1-S-T B-AH1 T-AY1 HH-AE1-V B-IH1 N-AH0 S-UW1 P-ER0 F-IH1-T HH-AE1 F-M-EH1 R-AH0 TH-AA2 N-R-AH1 N-IH0-NG D-IH0 P-R-EH1 S-IH0 V-AH0-N D-AY1 G-EH1 S-IH1-T JH-AH1-S-T D-OW1 S-AH0-N T-W-ER1-K F-AO1 R-EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0 B-AH1 T-AY1 T-R-AY1 T-UW1 D-UW1 IH1 T-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


and there were other moments when i didn't want to be here anymore.

AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-W-ER0 AH1 DH-ER0 M-OW1 M-AH0-N-T S-W-EH1 N-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 B-IY1 HH-IY1 R-EH2 N-IY0 M-AO1-R


and that period was a real turning point for me.

AH0-N-D DH-AE1-T P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0 D-W-AA1 Z-AH0 R-IY1-L T-ER1 N-IH0-NG P-OY1-N-T F-AO1-R M-IY1


i went to see a doctor. i got on meds.

AY1 W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 S-IY1 AH0 D-AA1-K T-ER0 AY1 G-AA1 T-AA1-N M-EH1-D-Z


i got counseling and i started to claw my way out of it.

AY1 G-AA1-T K-AW1-N S-AH0 L-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-AY1-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D T-UW1 K-L-AO1 M-AY1 W-EY1 AW1 T-AH1 V-IH1-T


i learned a lot from those two years of depression-

AY1 L-ER1 N-IH0 D-AH0 L-AA1-T F-R-AH1-M DH-OW1-Z T-UW1 Y-IH1-R Z-AH1-V D-IH0 P-R-EH1 SH-AH0-N


... and i've been a depressive since my teens.

AH0-N D-AY1-V B-IH1 N-AH0 D-IH0 P-R-EH1 S-IH0-V S-IH1-N S-M-AY1 T-IY1-N-Z


i know this is something that's not going to go away but-

AY1 N-OW1 DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG TH-AE1-T S-N-AA1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-OW1 AH0 W-EY1 B-AH1-T


... having survived it makes me feel like i could again. and that feels like the sort of agency that i need-

HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG S-ER0 V-AY1-V D-IH1 T-M-EY1-K S-M-IY1 F-IY1-L L-AY1 K-AY1 K-UH1 D-AH0 G-EH1 N-AH0-N-D DH-AE1-T F-IY1-L Z-L-AY1-K DH-AH0 S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-EY1 JH-AH0-N S-IY0 DH-AE1 T-AY1 N-IY1-D


... over myself. if that makes any sense.

OW1 V-ER0 M-AY2 S-EH1-L F-IH1-F DH-AE1 T-M-EY1-K S-EH1 N-IY0 S-EH1-N-S


... is there, kind of at the edge of my vision, like a sort of dark cloud and i have a list of fears in my head of things that, if they happened-

IH1-Z DH-EH1-R K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1 JH-AH1 V-M-AY1 V-IH1 ZH-AH0 N-L-AY1 K-AH0 S-AO1-R T-AH1-V D-AA1-R-K K-L-AW1 D-AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 L-IH1-S T-AH1-V F-IH1-R Z-IH0-N M-AY1 HH-EH1 D-AH1-V TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1 T-IH1-F DH-EY1 HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D


... but i try not to think about them too much because the other thing that those two years told me is that i just really have to live today.

B-AH1 T-AY1 T-R-AY1 N-AA1-T T-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-EH1-M T-UW1 M-AH1-CH B-IH0 K-AO1-Z DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 TH-IH1-NG DH-AE1-T DH-OW1-Z T-UW1 Y-IH1-R-Z T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-AY1 JH-AH1-S T-R-IH1 L-IY0 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 L-AY1-V T-AH0 D-EY1


i've seen it. it's very, very good. and i haven't seen any hitchcock films and i still think it's good. so i recommend that to anybody.

AY1-V S-IY1 N-IH1 T-IH1-T-S V-EH1 R-IY0 V-EH1 R-IY0 G-UH1 D-AH0-N D-AY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N-T S-IY1 N-EH1 N-IY0 HH-IH1-CH K-AA2-K F-IH1-L-M Z-AH0-N D-AY1-S T-IH1-L TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-T-S G-UH1-D S-OW1 AY1 R-EH2 K-AH0 M-EH1-N-D DH-AE1-T T-UW1 EH1 N-IY0 B-AH0 D-IY0


how are we doing? there are some chairs around the place if you wanted to come in and sit down.

HH-AW1 AA1 R-W-IY1 D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-EH1 R-AA1-R S-AH1-M CH-EH1-R Z-ER0 AW1-N-D DH-AH0 P-L-EY1 S-IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N T-AH0-D T-UW1 K-AH1 M-IH0 N-AH0-N-D S-IH1-T D-AW1-N


oh, or leave, yes. that's also good. yes. taking the opportunity.

OW1 AO1-R L-IY1 V-Y-EH1-S TH-AE1-T S-AO1-L S-OW0 G-UH1 D-Y-EH1-S T-EY1 K-IH0-NG DH-AH0 AA2 P-ER0 T-UW1 N-AH0 T-IY0


there we are. so now you've got some chairs to slip into if you wanted to.

DH-EH1 R-W-IY1 AA1-R S-OW1 N-AW1 Y-UW1-V G-AA1-T S-AH1-M CH-EH1-R-Z T-UW1 S-L-IH1 P-IH0-N T-UW1 IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N T-AH0-D T-UW1


i'm going to ask this again. how are we doing? are we all right?

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 AE1-S-K DH-IH1 S-AH0 G-EH1-N HH-AW1 AA1 R-W-IY1 D-UW1 IH0 NG-AA1 R-W-IY1 AO1-L R-AY1-T


yes. good, good. so just... i was going to say put up your hand if you're not-

Y-EH1-S G-UH1-D G-UH1-D S-OW1 JH-AH1-S T-AY1 W-AA1-Z G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-EY1 P-UH1 T-AH1 P-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N D-IH1 F-Y-UH1-R N-AA1-T


... but i can't see you so it doesn't... well, you can still put up your hand-

B-AH1 T-AY1 K-AE1-N-T S-IY1 Y-UW1 S-OW1 IH1-T D-OW1 S-AH0-N T-W-EH1 L-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N-S T-IH1-L P-UH1 T-AH1 P-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D


... but it won't. right. i'm going to ask this. so i met-

B-AH1 T-IH1 T-W-OW1-N T-R-AY1 T-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 AE1-S-K DH-IH1-S S-OW1 AY1 M-EH1-T


... when i was at the buxton fringe festival, which i also recommend to anyone. it's a lovely little festival.

W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1-T DH-AH0 B-AH1-K-S T-AH0-N F-R-IH1-N-JH F-EH1-S T-AH0 V-AH0 L-W-IH1 CH-AY1 AO1-L S-OW0 R-EH2 K-AH0 M-EH1-N-D T-UW1 EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2 N-IH1-T S-AH0 L-AH1 V-L-IY0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L F-EH1-S T-AH0 V-AH0-L


once you get talking to them. they're not friendly on first sight, but they are-

W-AH1-N S-Y-UW1 G-EH1-T T-AO1 K-IH0-NG T-UW1 DH-EH1-M TH-EH1-R N-AA1-T F-R-EH1-N D-L-IY0 AA1-N F-ER1-S-T S-AY1-T B-AH1-T DH-EY1 AA1-R


... and then when you talk, they're actually all right on the inside, so-

AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 T-AO1-K TH-EH1 R-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 AO1-L R-AY1 T-AA1-N DH-AH0 IH0-N S-AY1-D S-OW1


... rather the opposite of kensington where i live.

R-AE1 DH-ER0 DH-AH0 AA1 P-AH0 Z-AH0 T-AH1-V K-EH1-N Z-IH0-NG T-AH0 N-W-EH1 R-AY1 L-AY1-V


so, there he stayed. and i was fortunate enough to meet [joanne tremarco 00:09:06] and her... can i call her partner, chris?

S-OW1 DH-EH1-R HH-IY1-S T-EY1 D-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1-Z F-AO1-R CH-AH0 N-AH0 T-IH0 N-AH1-F T-UW1 M-IY1-T JH-OW2 AE1-N T-R-AH0 M-AA1-R K-OW0 Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-N-AY1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D S-IH1-K-S S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-AH0-N-D HH-ER0 K-AE1 N-AY1 K-AO1-L HH-ER0 P-AA1-R T-N-ER0 K-R-IH1-S


i don't want to tread on any that's... that's all right. is it right? jolly good. so, partner, chris, and he's a man. i mean, i'm not saying it's not that i'm, you know, there's no... but i mean, he's... i'm just-

AY1 D-AA1-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 T-R-EH1 D-AA1 N-EH1 N-IY0 TH-AE1-T-S TH-AE1-T S-AO1-L R-AY1 T-IH1 Z-IH1 T-R-AY1-T JH-AA1 L-IY0 G-UH1-D S-OW1 P-AA1-R T-N-ER0 K-R-IH1 S-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 Z-AH0 M-AE1 N-AY1 M-IY1 N-IH1-M N-AA1-T S-EY1 IH0 NG-IH1-T S-N-AA1-T DH-AE1 T-IH1 M-Y-UW1 N-OW1 DH-EH1-R Z-N-OW1 B-AH1 T-AY1 M-IY1-N HH-IY1 Z-IH1-M JH-AH1-S-T


jolly difficult these days. anyway. so, i'm going to ask-

JH-AA1 L-IY0 D-IH1 F-AH0 K-AH0-L-T DH-IY1-Z D-EY1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 S-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 AE1-S-K


i'm going to ask joanne to come up and ladies and gentlemen, you were wonderful last time with the applause-

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 AE1-S-K JH-OW2 AE1-N T-UW1 K-AH1 M-AH1 P-AH0-N D-L-EY1 D-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D JH-EH1-N T-AH0-L M-IH0 N-Y-UW1 W-ER0 W-AH1-N D-ER0 F-AH0-L L-AE1-S-T T-AY1 M-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 AH0 P-L-AO1-Z


i mean, i was thinking we would just do a practice and then do a real run but you were so good. we just carried on didn't we? so i want you to do that again. ladies and gentlemen-

AY1 M-IY1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z TH-IH1-NG K-IH0 NG-W-IY1 W-UH1-D JH-AH1-S-T D-UW1 AH0 P-R-AE1-K T-AH0 S-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N D-UW1 AH0 R-IY1-L R-AH1-N B-AH1 T-Y-UW1 W-ER0 S-OW1 G-UH1 D-W-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T K-AE1 R-IY0 D-AA1-N D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-IY1 S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-AE1 T-AH0 G-EH1 N-L-EY1 D-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D JH-EH1-N T-AH0-L M-IH0-N


... right? jolly good. entertainment for-

R-AY1-T JH-AA1 L-IY0 G-UH1 D-EH2-N T-ER0 T-EY1-N M-AH0-N-T F-AO1-R


... the adults, at least. i don't know. you look too young to be... you should probably not be. so, is it warm in the room? i should ask that. how are we feeling towards the back.

DH-AH0 AH0 D-AH1-L-T S-AE1 T-L-IY1-S T-AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 Y-UW1 L-UH1-K T-UW1 Y-AH1-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 N-AA1-T B-IY1 S-OW1 IH1 Z-IH1 T-W-AO1-R M-IH0-N DH-AH0 R-UW1 M-AY1 SH-UH1 D-AE1-S-K DH-AE1-T HH-AW1 AA1 R-W-IY1 F-IY1 L-IH0-NG T-AH0 W-AO1-R-D-Z DH-AH0 B-AE1-K


little cherubs of... medium. because it is a room-

L-IH1 T-AH0-L CH-EH1 R-AH0-B Z-AH1 V-M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-M B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1 T-IH1 Z-AH0 R-UW1-M


i mean, obviously, it's monday, so it's not the hottest day. if you were here on saturday-

AY1 M-IY1 N-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 IH1-T S-M-AH1-N D-IY0 S-OW1 IH1-T S-N-AA1-T DH-AH0 HH-AA1 T-AH0-S-T D-EY1 IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-ER0 HH-IY1 R-AA1-N S-AE1 T-ER0 D-IY0


in this basement... oh, it's not a basement, but it feels like a basement, and so, well, anyway, just to say, if you think you're going to faint, probably the best thing is to stay where you are, because obviously if you stand up, you'll faint. so-

IH0-N DH-IH1-S B-EY1 S-M-AH0-N T-OW1 IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-AH0 B-EY1 S-M-AH0-N-T B-AH1 T-IH1-T F-IY1-L Z-L-AY1 K-AH0 B-EY1 S-M-AH0-N T-AH0-N-D S-OW1 W-EH1 L-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 S-EY1 IH1 F-Y-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-Y-UH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 F-EY1-N-T P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 DH-AH0 B-EH1-S-T TH-IH1 NG-IH1-Z T-UW1-S T-EY1 W-EH1 R-Y-UW1 AA1-R B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 IH1 F-Y-UW1-S T-AE1-N D-AH1 P-Y-UW1-L F-EY1-N-T S-OW1


poor part of cornwall, and there isn't really much for people, and there are some awful things that go on there, like there are everywhere-

P-UH1-R P-AA1-R T-AH1-V K-AO1-R N-W-AO0 L-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-IH1 S-AH0-N T-R-IH1 L-IY0 M-AH1-CH F-AO1-R P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-AA1-R S-AH1 M-AA1 F-AH0-L TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1-T G-OW1 AA1-N DH-EH1-R L-AY1-K DH-EH1 R-AA1 R-EH1 V-R-IY0 W-EH2-R


so fair enough, ma'am. but it's not, you see-

S-OW1 F-EH1 R-IH0 N-AH1 F-M-AH1-M B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-Y-UW1 S-IY1


i thought i was really beautiful, mainly because i'm really short-sighted and i didn't wear my glasses, and then when i got contact lenses-

AY1 TH-AO1 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 B-Y-UW1 T-AH0 F-AH0-L M-EY1 N-L-IY0 B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1 M-R-IH1 L-IY0 SH-AO1-R-T S-AY1 T-IH0 D-AH0-N D-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-EH1-R M-AY1 G-L-AE1 S-AH0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-W-EH1 N-AY1 G-AA1-T K-AA1-N T-AE2-K T-L-EH1-N Z-AH0-Z


... when i was 15, i saw my face for the first time, and i was quite horrified.

W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z F-IH0-F T-IY1 N-AY1 S-AO1 M-AY1 F-EY1-S F-AO1-R DH-AH0 F-ER1-S-T T-AY1 M-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1-Z K-W-AY1-T HH-AO1 R-AH0 F-AY2-D


and then i discovered when i was 32 and i was in a filming thing with johnny vegas-

AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-AY1 D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0 D-W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z TH-ER1 D-IY0 T-UW1 AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0 N-AH0 F-IH1-L M-IH0-NG TH-IH1 NG-W-IH1-DH JH-AA1 N-IY0 V-EY1 G-AH0-S


... i had in it. "she's not bad for a plain girl," and that was me, and i was quite shocked.i had no idea. and then johnny vegas and the writer had a chat about who would play us.

AY1 HH-AE1 D-IH0 N-IH1-T SH-EH1 S-N-AA1-T B-AE1-D F-AO1 R-AH0 P-L-EY1-N G-ER1 L-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-M-IY1 AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1-Z K-W-AY1-T SH-AA1 K-IH0 D-IY0 HH-AE1 D-N-OW1 AY0 D-IY1 AH0 AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N JH-AA1 N-IY0 V-EY1 G-AH0 S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 R-AY1 T-ER0 HH-AE1 D-AH0 CH-AE1 T-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-UW1 W-UH1-D P-L-EY1 AH1-S


this series and know it, or they've never heard of it. it was a real cult series. it was buried by-

DH-IH1-S S-IH1 R-IY0 Z-AH0-N D-N-OW1 IH1 T-AO1-R DH-EY1 V-N-EH1 V-ER0 HH-ER1 D-AH1 V-IH1 T-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 R-IY1-L K-AH1-L-T S-IH1 R-IY0 Z-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z B-EH1 R-IY0-D B-AY1


but anyway, they had a chat about who would play us if it was a famous cast. so johnny said he would be played by peter kay.

B-AH1 T-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 DH-EY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 CH-AE1 T-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-UW1 W-UH1-D P-L-EY1 AH1 S-IH1 F-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 F-EY1 M-AH0-S K-AE1-S-T S-OW1 JH-AA1 N-IY0 S-EH1-D HH-IY1 W-UH1-D B-IY1 P-L-EY1-D B-AY1 P-IY1 T-ER0 K-EY1


and i would be played by pam ayres, the little shit.

AH0-N D-AY1 W-UH1-D B-IY1 P-L-EY1-D B-AY1 P-AE1 M-EH1-R-Z DH-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L SH-IH1-T


so yeah, and i saw a photograph of pam ayres the other day on a book and had another little cry whilst eating a flapjack.

S-OW1 Y-AE1 AH0-N D-AY1 S-AO1 AH0 F-OW1 T-AH0 G-R-AE2 F-AH1-V P-AE1 M-EH1-R-Z DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 D-EY1 AA1 N-AH0 B-UH1 K-AH0-N-D HH-AE1 D-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L K-R-AY1 W-AY1-L-S T-IY1 T-IH0 NG-AH0 F-L-AE1-P JH-AE2-K


so i was thinking, "well, i'm not going to talk about really tragic"-

S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z TH-IH1-NG K-IH0 NG-W-EH1 L-IH1-M N-AA1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K


... "things, because i've not thought them through enough to do them justice." so i was thinking about the pathetic-

TH-IH1-NG-Z B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 V-N-AA1-T TH-AO1-T DH-EH1-M TH-R-UW1 IH0 N-AH1-F T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-EH1-M JH-AH1-S T-AH0-S S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z TH-IH1-NG K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 P-AH0 TH-EH1 T-IH0-K


... in a tragic kind of way. so let's try it. i almost left my iphone in a hammock.

IH0 N-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-W-EY1 S-OW1 L-EH1-T-S T-R-AY1 IH1 T-AY1 AO1-L M-OW2-S T-L-EH1-F T-M-AY1 IH1 F-OW0 N-IH0 N-AH0 HH-AE1 M-AH0-K


this bit is just weird and kind of boring, because i don't feel like i've got much to tell you about myself in real-

DH-IH1-S B-IH1 T-IH1-Z JH-AH1-S T-W-IH1-R D-AH0-N-D K-AY1-N D-AH1-V B-AO1 R-IH0-NG B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N-T F-IY1-L L-AY1 K-AY1-V G-AA1 T-M-AH1-CH T-UW1 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY2 S-EH1-L F-IH0 N-R-IY1-L


that's just me being sad on flapjacks again. so anyway, i'll just show you how plain i am. if you can't-

TH-AE1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-M-IY1 B-IY1 IH0-NG S-AE1 D-AA1-N F-L-AE1-P JH-AE2-K S-AH0 G-EH1-N S-OW1 EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 IH1-L JH-AH1-S-T SH-OW1 Y-UW1 HH-AW1 P-L-EY1 N-AY1 AE1 M-IH1 F-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N-T


... look like kate bush, and i dance like britney spears.

L-UH1 K-L-AY1-K K-EY1-T B-UH1 SH-AH0-N D-AY1 D-AE1-N S-L-AY1-K B-R-IH1 T-N-IY0-S P-IH1-R-Z


... he had, and had battenberg crumbs down his waistcoat. "darling, i put on the television."

HH-IY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0-N-D HH-AE1-D B-AE1 T-AH0-N B-ER2-G K-R-AH1-M-Z D-AW1-N HH-IH1 Z-W-EY1-S-T K-OW2-T D-AA1-R L-IH0 NG-AY1 P-UH1 T-AA1-N DH-AH0 T-EH1 L-AH0 V-IH2 ZH-AH0-N


"help me with it, would you?" top line, eight, gap one, or-

HH-EH1-L P-M-IY1 W-IH1 DH-IH1 T-W-UH1 D-Y-UW1 T-AA1 P-L-AY1 N-EY1-T G-AE1 P-W-AH1 N-AO1-R


gap, gap, five.oh, fred. as you sit there now, listing numbers in a sort of drone whilst filing a [fra 00:02:28]-penny bit to make a propeller for your scale model-

G-AE1-P G-AE1-P F-IH1 V-IY0 HH-UW0 F-R-EH1 D-AE1 Z-Y-UW1 S-IH1-T DH-EH1-R N-AW1 L-IH1-S T-IH0-NG N-AH1-M B-ER0 Z-IH0 N-AH0 S-AO1-R T-AH1-V D-R-OW1 N-W-AY1-L-S-T F-AY1 L-IH0 NG-AH0 F-R-AA1 Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 EY1-T S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z P-EH1 N-IY0 B-IH1-T T-UW1 M-EY1 K-AH0 P-R-AH0 P-EH1 L-ER0 F-AO1 R-Y-AO1-R-S K-EY1-L M-AA1 D-AH0-L


... dreadnought, i decide to have a sort through my handbag.

D-R-EH1 D-N-AO2 T-AY1 D-IH0 S-AY1-D T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 S-AO1-R-T TH-R-UW1 M-AY1 HH-AE1-N-D B-AE2-G


and there on top of the cheeky little christmas cracker toy is the face of cashier number three, his little chin in perfect place-

AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-AA1-N T-AA1 P-AH1-V DH-AH0 CH-IY1 K-IY0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L K-R-IH1 S-M-AH0-S K-R-AE1 K-ER0 T-OY1 IH1-Z DH-AH0 F-EY1 S-AH1-V K-AE0 SH-IH1-R N-AH1-M B-ER0 TH-R-IY1 HH-IH1 Z-L-IH1 T-AH0-L CH-IH1 N-IH0-N P-ER1 F-IH2-K-T P-L-EY1-S


... his little jawline and his conk. and then with one shake of my wrist, he's gone, and i'm back home-

HH-IH1 Z-L-IH1 T-AH0-L JH-AO1 L-AY2 N-AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z K-AA1-NG K-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-W-IH1 DH-W-AH1-N SH-EY1 K-AH1 V-M-AY1 R-IH1-S-T HH-IY1-Z G-AO1 N-AH0-N D-IH1-M B-AE1-K HH-OW1-M


... fred, back home to you.and the next line is one something nine. it's three-

F-R-EH1-D B-AE1-K HH-OW1-M T-UW1 Y-AW1 AH0-N-D DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S T-L-AY1 N-IH1 Z-W-AH1-N S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG N-AY1 N-IH1-T-S TH-R-IY1


really quite a lot of money, so, not that i want it back-

R-IH1 L-IY0 K-W-AY1 T-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1 V-M-AH1 N-IY0 S-OW1 N-AA1-T DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-N T-IH1-T B-AE1-K


sorry, we should say-


but just to say, how many will be there at the back with a with a bucket, so if you have five or 10 pounds-

B-AH1-T JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 S-EY1 HH-AW1 M-EH1 N-IY0 W-IH1-L B-IY1 DH-EH1 R-AE1-T DH-AH0 B-AE1 K-W-IH1 DH-AH0 W-IH1 DH-AH0 B-AH1 K-AH0-T S-OW1 IH1 F-Y-UW1 HH-AE1-V F-AY1 V-AO1-R T-EH1-N P-AW1-N-D-Z


i think in the history of the... but it could be a first, couldn't it? anyway-

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH0-N DH-AH0 HH-IH1-S T-ER0 IY0 AH1-V DH-AH0 B-AH1 T-IH1-T K-UH1-D B-IY1 AH0 F-ER1-S-T K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-IH1 T-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


so we'll be doing, and then these people will be flyering, and-

S-OW1 W-EH1-L B-IY1 D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N DH-IY1-Z P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-IH1-L B-IY1 F-L-AY1 ER0 IH0 NG-AH0-N-D


i brought a backing track, but i'm late, so just going to see how the levels go. yay, free fringe.

AY1 B-R-AO1 T-AH0 B-AE1 K-IH0-NG T-R-AE1-K B-AH1 T-IH1 M-L-EY1-T S-OW1 JH-AH1-S-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-IY1 HH-AW1 DH-AH0 L-EH1 V-AH0-L-Z G-OW1 Y-EY1 F-R-IY1 F-R-IH1-N-JH


this is like, it's an ipod, i don't even remember. do you remember-

DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-L-AY1 K-IH1-T S-AE1 N-IH1 P-AA0 D-AY1 D-AA1-N T-IY1 V-IH0 N-R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 D-UW1 Y-UW1 R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0


... with the ipod touch or the ipod face or ipod foot-

W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 IH1 P-AA0-D T-AH1 CH-AO1-R DH-AH0 IH1 P-AA0-D F-EY1 S-AO1 R-IH1 P-AA0-D F-UH1-T


i don't really want to cry in front of you guy, so i'm going to do something which is like a small tragedy. it's a piece-

AY1 D-AA1-N T-R-IH1 L-IY0 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 K-R-AY1 IH0-N F-R-AH1-N T-AH1 V-Y-UW1 G-AY1 S-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-L-AY1 K-AH0 S-M-AO1-L T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 IH1-T S-AH0 P-IY1-S


this is a good moment. and while they go, i want you to give them all a wonderful round of applause. katrina j-

DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 G-UH1 D-M-OW1 M-AH0-N T-AH0-N D-W-AY1-L DH-EY1 G-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 T-UW1 G-IH1-V DH-EH1 M-AO1 L-AH0 W-AH1-N D-ER0 F-AH0-L R-AW1-N D-AH1 V-AH0 P-L-AO1-Z K-AH0 T-R-IY1 N-AH0 JH-EY1


i know time is [inaudible 00:04:00] tragedy, plus the next performers will need us to be on time, so how-

AY1 N-OW1 T-AY1 M-IH1 Z-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D Z-IH1 R-OW0 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 P-L-AH1-S DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 Z-W-IH1-L N-IY1 D-AH1-S T-UW1 B-IY1 AA1-N T-AY1-M S-OW1 HH-AW1


... and i'm your host. now what we do at standup tragedy is we stand up and we do tragedy.

AH0-N D-IH1 M-Y-AO1-R HH-OW1-S T-N-AW1 W-AH1 T-W-IY1 D-UW1 AE1-T-S T-AE1-N D-AH2-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 IH1 Z-W-IY1-S T-AE1-N D-AH1 P-AH0-N D-W-IY1 D-UW1 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0


we invite performance from different parts of the arts. we get comedians-

W-IY1 IH2-N V-AY1-T P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-AH0-N-S F-R-AH1-M D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T P-AA1-R-T S-AH1-V DH-AH0 AA1-R-T S-W-IY1 G-EH1-T K-AH0 M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-N-Z


we like people to cry until they laugh and laugh until they cry. and one thing i should say about this night is because it is about tragedy, we should expect-

W-IY1 L-AY1-K P-IY1 P-AH0-L T-UW1 K-R-AY1 AH0-N T-IH1-L DH-EY1 L-AE1 F-AH0-N D-L-AE1 F-AH0-N T-IH1-L DH-EY1 K-R-AY1 AH0-N D-W-AH1-N TH-IH1 NG-AY1 SH-UH1-D S-EY1 AH0 B-AW1-T DH-IH1 S-N-AY1 T-IH1-Z B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1 T-IH1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 W-IY1 SH-UH1 D-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K-T


... to see some tragedy, like you walk down the street, you could get hit by a car anytime, and tragedy could befall you.

T-UW1 S-IY1 S-AH1-M T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 L-AY1 K-Y-UW1 W-AO1-K D-AW1-N DH-AH0-S T-R-IY1 T-Y-UW1 K-UH1-D G-EH1-T HH-IH1-T B-AY1 AH0 K-AA1 R-EH1 N-IY0 T-AY2 M-AH0-N-D T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 K-UH1-D B-IH0 F-AO1 L-Y-UW1


we know it's going to happen, and it's going to happen on this stage.

W-IY1 N-OW1 IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-AH0-N D-IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-AA1-N DH-IH1-S-S T-EY1-JH


won't, shouldn't be a surprise to anyone, because at standup tragedy, we like to create a safe space to talk about unsafe things. and we are a live show.

W-OW1-N-T SH-OW1-L T-AH0-N-T B-IY1 AH0 S-ER0 P-R-AY1-Z T-UW1 EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2-N B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AE1-T-S T-AE1-N D-AH2-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 W-IY1 L-AY1-K T-UW1 K-R-IY0 EY1 T-AH0 S-EY1-F-S P-EY1-S T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1 T-AH0-N S-EY1-F TH-IH1-NG Z-AH0-N D-W-IY1 AA1 R-AH0 L-AY1-V SH-OW1


we are also a podcast. so as many people as there is in the room, there's a much bigger audience that this is actually going out to.

W-IY1 AA1 R-AO1-L S-OW0 AH0 P-OW1-D K-AE2-S-T S-OW1 AE1 Z-M-EH1 N-IY0 P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AE1-Z DH-EH1 R-IH1 Z-IH0-N DH-AH0 R-UW1-M DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 M-AH1-CH B-IH1 G-ER0 AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N-S DH-AE1-T DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 G-OW1 IH0 NG-AW1-T T-UW1


but you're the ones who count. you're the ones who matter. although, if you're listening-

B-AH1 T-Y-UH1-R DH-AH0 W-AH1-N-Z HH-UW1 K-AW1-N T-Y-UH1-R DH-AH0 W-AH1-N-Z HH-UW1 M-AE1 T-ER0 AO2-L DH-OW1 IH1 F-Y-UH1-R L-IH1 S-AH0 N-IH0-NG


... i'm talking as you, so everybody's happy. you're all great.

IH1-M T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AE1 Z-Y-UW1 S-OW1 EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0-Z HH-AE1 P-IY0 Y-UH1 R-AO1-L G-R-EY1-T


so yes. so we've got some other shows happening at the fringe, as well.

S-OW1 Y-EH1-S S-OW1 W-IY1-V G-AA1-T S-AH1 M-AH1 DH-ER0 SH-OW1-Z HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0 NG-AE1-T DH-AH0 F-R-IH1-N JH-AE1 Z-W-EH1-L


we're doing at 7:30 every day, all the way through the fringe.

W-ER0 D-UW1 IH0 NG-AE1-T S-EH1 V-AH0-N TH-ER1 D-IY0 EH1 V-ER0 IY0 D-EY1 AO1-L DH-AH0 W-EY1 TH-R-UW1 DH-AH0 F-R-IH1-N-JH


we've got guest hosts coming in and doing completely different lineups-

W-IY1-V G-AA1-T G-EH1-S-T HH-OW1-S-T-S K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-IH0 N-AH0-N-D D-UW1 IH0-NG K-AH0-M P-L-IY1 T-L-IY0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-L-AY1 N-AH2-P-S


... people who aren't me talking, which is i always like that, when it's not me-

P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-UW1 AA1 R-AH0-N T-M-IY1 T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AY1 AO1 L-W-EY2 Z-L-AY1-K DH-AE1 T-W-EH1 N-IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-M-IY1


... talking, although i do choose to stand up on stage and talk quite a lot.

T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AO2-L DH-OW1 AY1 D-UW1 CH-UW1-Z T-UW1-S T-AE1-N D-AH1 P-AA1-N-S T-EY1 JH-AH0-N-D T-AO1-K K-W-AY1 T-AH0 L-AA1-T


but yes, so we're doing that in here, and apart from on tuesdays-

B-AH1 T-Y-EH1-S S-OW1 W-ER0 D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-AE1 T-IH0-N HH-IY1 R-AH0-N D-AH0 P-AA1-R-T F-R-AH1 M-AA1-N T-UW1-Z D-EY2-Z


... when we have a different show happening, i'm going to be in conversation with people-

W-EH1 N-W-IY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T SH-OW1 HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0 NG-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 IH0-N K-AA2-N V-ER0 S-EY1 SH-AH0 N-W-IH1-DH P-IY1 P-AH0-L


... in a show called getting better acquainted on monday.

IH0 N-AH0 SH-OW1 K-AO1-L-D G-EH1 T-IH0-NG B-EH1 T-ER0 AH0 K-W-EY1-N T-IH0 D-AA1-N M-AH1-N D-IY0


she will be my guest on tuesday. and also i'm doing another show at 12:05, at cabaret voltaire, and if you think it's tragic-

SH-IY1 W-IH1-L B-IY1 M-AY1 G-EH1-S T-AA1-N T-UW1-Z D-IY0 AH0-N D-AO1-L S-OW0 AY1 AE1-M D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 SH-OW1 AE1-T T-W-EH1-L V-OW1 F-AY1 V-AE1-T K-AE2 B-ER0 EY1 V-OW0-L T-EH1 R-AH0-N D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-T-S T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K


... this show, my solo show is much, much more tragic and serious.

DH-IH1-S SH-OW1 M-AY1 S-OW1 L-OW2 SH-OW1 IH1 Z-M-AH1 CH-M-AH1 CH-M-AO1-R T-R-AE1 JH-IH0 K-AH0-N-D S-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-S


it's on, as i said, at 12:05 at cabaret voltaire. it's called-

IH1-T S-AA1 N-AE1 Z-AY1 S-EH1 D-AE1-T T-W-EH1-L V-OW1 F-AY1 V-AE1-T K-AE2 B-ER0 EY1 V-OW0-L T-EH1 R-IH1-T-S K-AO1-L-D


... what about the men? mansplaining masculinity, and it's about how men get hurt by society and maybe how they hurt people because of society. so that's kind of what it's about.

W-AH1 T-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 M-EH1-N M-AE0-N-S P-L-EY1 N-IH0-NG M-AE2-S K-Y-AH0 L-IH1 N-AH0 T-IY0 AH0-N D-IH1-T S-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-AW1 M-EH1-N G-EH1-T HH-ER1-T B-AY1 S-AH0 S-AY1 AH0 T-IY0 AH0-N D-M-EY1 B-IY0 HH-AW1 DH-EY1 HH-ER1-T P-IY1 P-AH0-L B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AH1-V S-AH0 S-AY1 AH0 T-IY0 S-OW1 TH-AE1-T-S K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-W-AH1 T-IH1-T S-AH0 B-AW1-T


i had a really nice big audience today-

AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 R-IH1 L-IY0 N-AY1-S B-IH1 G-AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N-S T-AH0 D-EY1


... at the show, which was really nice, to be talking to lots of people about sad things and them appreciating it and responding and stuff like that, which is-

AE1-T DH-AH0 SH-OW1 W-IH1 CH-W-AA1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 N-AY1-S T-UW1 B-IY1 T-AO1 K-IH0-NG T-UW1 L-AA1-T S-AH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH0 B-AW1-T S-AE1-D TH-IH1-NG Z-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 M-AH0 P-R-IY1 SH-IY0 EY2 T-IH0 NG-IH1 T-AH0-N D-R-IH0-S P-AA1-N D-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D-S T-AH1 F-L-AY1-K DH-AE1 T-W-IH1 CH-IH1-Z


... good. so, yeah, we're part of the pbh free fringe-

G-UH1-D S-OW1 Y-AE1 W-ER0 P-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-AH0 EH1 N-AY1 F-R-IY1 F-R-IH1-N-JH


i mean, a bit on the podcast goes " well, oh dear. i'll be me." i say, "hello." i won't use the microphone, because i think i can talk quite loud-

AY1 M-IY1 N-AH0 B-IH1 T-AA1-N DH-AH0 P-OW1-D K-AE2-S-T G-OW1 Z-W-EH1 L-OW1 D-IH1 R-IH1-L B-IY1 M-IY1 AY1 S-EY1 HH-AH0 L-OW1 AY1 W-OW1-N T-Y-UW1-S DH-AH0 M-AY1 K-R-AH0 F-OW2-N B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-AY1 K-AE1-N T-AO1-K K-W-AY1 T-L-AW1-D


just to mitigate, because i don't like sun. it's just to mitigate the sun. it's about so now-

JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 M-IH1 T-AH0 G-EY2-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N T-L-AY1-K S-AH1 N-IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 M-IH1 T-AH0 G-EY2-T DH-AH0 S-AH1 N-IH1-T S-AH0 B-AW1-T S-OW1 N-AW1


... a guy, he fell in love with a [inaudible 00:06:53] online, and now they've got a dog.

AH0 G-AY1 HH-IY1 F-EH1 L-IH0 N-L-AH1 V-W-IH1 DH-AH0 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-IH1-K S-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 TH-R-IY1 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-AO1 N-L-AY2 N-AH0-N D-N-AW1 DH-EY1-V G-AA1 T-AH0 D-AO1-G


that's a code. so yeah, what i'm going to do, so... yeah, okay, well, i'm going to do a song-

TH-AE1-T S-AH0 K-OW1-D S-OW1 Y-AE1 W-AH1 T-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 S-OW1 Y-AE1 OW2 K-EY1 W-EH1 L-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 AH0 S-AO1-NG


another thing that doesn't get rid of me ... so my own personal tragedy is the si-90 guy and his fall-

AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 TH-IH1-NG DH-AE1-T D-OW1 S-AH0-N-T G-EH1 T-R-IH1 D-AH1 V-M-IY1 S-OW1 M-AY1 OW1-N P-ER1 S-IH0 N-IH0-L T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 IH1-Z DH-AH0 S-IY1 N-EH1 G-AH0 T-IH0 V-N-AY1-N T-IY0 G-AY1 AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z F-AO1-L


he said, "it's not so bad. it's not so bad," and one of the things i've noticed about the world of a popular music is that... one of the things that i don't like about the world of pop music is it's very youth oriented.

HH-IY1 S-EH1 D-IH1-T S-N-AA1-T S-OW1 B-AE1 D-IH1-T S-N-AA1-T S-OW1 B-AE1 D-AH0-N D-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 TH-IH1-NG Z-AY1 V-N-OW1 T-AH0-S T-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 W-ER1-L D-AH1 V-AH0 P-AA1 P-Y-AH0 L-ER0 M-Y-UW1 Z-IH0 K-IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1 T-AY1 D-AA1-N T-L-AY1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 W-ER1-L D-AH1-V P-AA1 P-M-Y-UW1 Z-IH0 K-IH1 Z-IH1-T-S V-EH1 R-IY0 Y-UW1 TH-AO1 R-IY0 EH2-N T-AH0-D


you know, it's like going... we write songs-

Y-UW1 N-OW1 IH1-T S-L-AY1-K G-OW1 IH0 NG-W-IY1 R-AY1-T S-AO1-NG-Z


that's fine. if you're in your twenties and you're write a song about being in your twenties or younger-

TH-AE1-T-S F-AY1 N-IH1 F-Y-UH1 R-IH0 N-Y-AO1-R T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 Z-AH0-N D-Y-UH1-R R-AY1 T-AH0 S-AO1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T B-IY1 IH0 NG-IH0 N-Y-AO1-R T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 Z-AO1 R-Y-AH1-NG G-ER0


... but i hate it when people my age write songs about that, as well.

B-AH1 T-AY1 HH-EY1 T-IH1 T-W-EH1-N P-IY1 P-AH0-L M-AY1 EY1 JH-R-AY1-T S-AO1-NG Z-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1 T-AE1 Z-W-EH1-L


so many love songs. i mean, some people say this world has had enough of silly-

S-OW1 M-EH1 N-IY0 L-AH1-V S-AO1-NG Z-AY1 M-IY1-N S-AH1-M P-IY1 P-AH0-L S-EY1 DH-IH1 S-W-ER1-L-D HH-AE1-Z HH-AE1 D-IH0 N-AH1 F-AH1-V S-IH1 L-IY0


send security. i did say that he was a very positive person. that's as dark as he can get.

S-EH1-N-D S-IH0 K-Y-UH1 R-AH0 T-IY0 AY1 D-IH1-D S-EY1 DH-AE1-T HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 P-AA1 Z-AH0 T-IH0-V P-ER1 S-AH0-N TH-AE1-T S-AE1-Z D-AA1-R K-AE1-Z HH-IY1 K-AE1-N G-EH1-T


... [inaudible 00:07:44] darkness later on. so prepare yourselves always for the tragedy. so, yes, i know-

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z S-EH1 V-AH0-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R T-IY0 F-AO1-R S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z D-AA1-R K-N-AH0 S-L-EY1 T-ER0 AA1-N S-OW1 P-R-IY0 P-EH1 R-Y-UH0-R S-EH1-L-V Z-AO1 L-W-EY2-Z F-AO1-R DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 S-OW1 Y-EH1 S-AY1 N-OW1


... hopping horse at the newsroom at 2:30 from now until the 30th, but check, because she's got some days off. she's-

HH-AA1 P-IH0-NG HH-AO1-R S-AE1-T DH-AH0 N-UW1 Z-R-UW2 M-AE1-T T-UW1 TH-ER1 D-IY0 F-R-AH1-M N-AW1 AH0-N T-IH1-L DH-AH0 TH-ER1 T-IY0 AH0-TH B-AH1-T CH-EH1-K B-IH0 K-AO1-Z SH-EH1-S G-AA1-T S-AH1-M D-EY1 Z-AO1-F SH-EH1-S


... also doing a show called immigrant diaries, which is a storytelling-

AO1-L S-OW0 D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 K-AO1-L D-IH1 M-AH0 G-R-AH0-N-T D-AY1 ER0 IY0 Z-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0 T-EH2 L-IH0-NG


it starts at the assembly rooms at 10:00 o'clock from now until the 30th, but-

IH1-T-S T-AA1-R-T S-AE1-T DH-AH0 AH0 S-EH1-M B-L-IY0 R-UW1-M Z-AE1-T T-EH1 N-AH0 K-L-AA1 K-AH0 K-L-AA1-K F-R-AH1-M N-AW1 AH0-N T-IH1-L DH-AH0 TH-ER1 T-IY0 AH0-TH B-AH1-T


... not tomorrow, so don't go that day, but go the other days, because it's going to be great. we have-

N-AA1-T T-AH0 M-AA1 R-OW2 S-OW1 D-AA1-N-T G-OW1 DH-AE1-T D-EY1 B-AH1-T G-OW1 DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 D-EY1-Z B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 G-R-EY1 T-W-IY1 HH-AE1-V


that kind of slight little clap. "yeah, we'll see, we'll see. it might go there. you got to be funny."

DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1-V S-L-AY1 T-L-IH1 T-AH0-L K-L-AE1 P-Y-AE1 W-EH1-L S-IY1 W-EH1-L S-IY1 IH1 T-M-AY1-T G-OW1 DH-EH1 R-Y-UW1 G-AA1-T T-UW1 B-IY1 F-AH1 N-IY0


you know what, how are you? you good, edinburgh? are we sunday?

Y-UW1 N-OW1 W-AH1-T HH-AW1 AA1 R-Y-UW1 Y-UW1 G-UH1 D-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 AA1 R-W-IY1 S-AH1-N D-EY2


is that what's happening, sunday?yeah.yeah, okay, sunday. i was getting a bit confused. i wasn't sure. so welcome. do i leave this here, or... yeah, you probably want me to leave it there. do you?

IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-W-AH0-T-S HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0-NG S-UW2 N-AH0 D-EY1 AH0 SH-AH0 OW2 K-EY1 S-AH1-N D-EY2 AY1 W-AA1-Z G-EH1 T-IH0 NG-AH0 B-IH1-T K-AH0-N F-Y-UW1-Z D-AY1 W-AO1-S-T SH-UH1-R S-OW1 W-EH1-L K-AH0-M D-UW1 AY1 L-IY1-V DH-IH1-S HH-IY1 R-AO1 R-Y-AE1 Y-UW1 P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 W-AA1-N T-M-IY1 T-UW1 L-IY1 V-IH1-T DH-EH1-R D-UW1 Y-UW1


.now, okay, so comedy, tragedy. so i'm going to tell you a story-

N-AW1 OW2 K-EY1 S-OW1 K-AA1 M-AH0 D-IY0 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 S-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0


... because obviously i'm doing a storytelling show called immigrant diaries. it is-

B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 IH1-M D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0-S T-AO1 R-IY0 T-EH2 L-IH0-NG SH-OW1 K-AO1-L D-IH1 M-AH0 G-R-AH0-N-T D-AY1 ER0 IY0 Z-IH1 T-IH1-Z


i tell a lot of true stories. so guys, who's been on holiday, ever? give me some noise.

AY1 T-EH1 L-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V T-R-UW1-S T-AO1 R-IY0-Z S-OW1 G-AY1-Z HH-UW1-Z B-IH1 N-AA1-N HH-AA1 L-AH0 D-EY2 EH1 V-ER0 G-IH1 V-M-IY1 S-AH1-M N-OY1-Z


who's been to holiday to pakistan, karachi?

HH-UW1-Z B-IH1-N T-UW1 HH-AA1 L-AH0 D-EY2 T-UW1 P-AE1 K-IH0-S T-AE2-N K-AA0 R-AA1 CH-IY0


who's been on holiday to pakistan, karachi, and got held at gunpoint and as a hostage by the kim mqm? no-

HH-UW1-Z B-IH1 N-AA1-N HH-AA1 L-AH0 D-EY2 T-UW1 P-AE1 K-IH0-S T-AE2-N K-AA0 R-AA1 CH-IY0 AH0-N-D G-AA1-T HH-EH1-L D-AE1-T G-AH1-N P-OY2-N T-AH0-N D-AE1 Z-AH0 HH-AA1-S T-IH0-JH B-AY1 DH-AH0 K-IH1-M K-AH1-M N-OW1


this is my story, right? so i go to karachi.

DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-M-AY1-S T-AO1 R-IY0 R-AY1-T S-OW1 AY1 G-OW1 T-UW1 K-AA0 R-AA1 CH-IY0


i go to a wedding, and that's where i'm from. i'm born in pakistan, and i've gone back as an adult, and i've gone to a wedding, and i'm three months pregnant.

AY1 G-OW1 T-UW1 AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T S-W-EH1 R-IH1-M F-R-AH1 M-IH1-M B-AO1-R N-IH0-N P-AE1 K-IH0-S T-AE2 N-AH0-N D-AY1-V G-AO1-N B-AE1 K-AE1 Z-AE1 N-AH0 D-AH1-L T-AH0-N D-AY1-V G-AO1-N T-UW1 AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-IH1-M TH-R-IY1 M-AH1-N-TH-S P-R-EH1 G-N-AH0-N-T


and i arrive in pakistan. i go to the wedding. i wear all my gold. have you all seen asian weddings?

AH0-N D-AY1 ER0 AY1 V-IH0-N P-AE1 K-IH0-S T-AE2 N-AY1 G-OW1 T-UW1 DH-AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0 NG-AY1 W-EH1 R-AO1-L M-AY1 G-OW1-L-D HH-AE1 V-Y-UW1 AO1-L S-IY1 N-EY1 ZH-AH0 N-W-EH1 D-IH0-NG-Z


ladies and gentlemen, have you? have you ever seen videos? have you seen bollywood films?

L-EY1 D-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D JH-EH1-N T-AH0-L M-IH0-N HH-AE1 V-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-Y-UW1 EH1 V-ER0 S-IY1-N V-IH1 D-IY0 OW0-Z HH-AE1 V-Y-UW1 S-IY1-N B-AA1 L-IY0 W-UH2-D F-IH1-L-M-Z


lots of gold, right? lots of gold. that's compulsory, because that's our dowry.

L-AA1-T S-AH1-V G-OW1-L D-R-AY1 T-L-AA1-T S-AH1-V G-OW1-L-D TH-AE1-T-S K-AH0-M P-AH1-L S-ER0 IY0 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z TH-AE1-T S-AW1 ER0 D-AW1 R-IY0


they make to look like they've had a make-over done on pimp my bride, don't they? lots of gold. but anyway, so i've got this gold i'm wearing to a wedding, because that's compulsory-

DH-EY1 M-EY1-K T-UW1 L-UH1 K-L-AY1-K DH-EY1-V HH-AE1 D-AH0 M-AE1 K-OW2 V-ER0 D-AH1 N-AA1-N P-IH1-M P-M-AY1 B-R-AY1-D D-AA1-N-T DH-EY1 L-AA1-T S-AH1-V G-OW1-L-D B-AH1 T-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 S-OW1 AY1-V G-AA1-T DH-IH1-S G-OW1-L D-IH1 M-W-EH1 R-IH0-NG T-UW1 AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0-NG B-IH0 K-AO1-Z TH-AE1-T-S K-AH0-M P-AH1-L S-ER0 IY0


... but in the baby [inaudible 00:09:42] in the oven. anyway, i'm-

B-AH1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 B-EY1 B-IY0 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-N-AY1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R T-IY0 T-UW1 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-IH0-N DH-AH0 AH1 V-AH0 N-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 AY1 AE1-M


... waking up at my grandmother's house after the wedding processions and stuff, and i'm awoken by... i've got a massive family.

W-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH1 P-AE1 T-M-AY1 G-R-AE1-N D-M-AH2 DH-ER0-Z HH-AW1 S-AE1-F T-ER0 DH-AH0 W-EH1 D-IH0-NG P-R-OW0 S-EH1 SH-AH0-N Z-AH0-N-D-S T-AH1 F-AH0-N D-IH1 M-AH0 W-OW1 K-AH0-N B-AY1 AY1-V G-AA1 T-AH0 M-AE1 S-IH0-V F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0


so people come and go all the time. and i see at the [inaudible 00:00:14] through the lounge-

S-OW1 P-IY1 P-AH0-L K-AH1 M-AH0-N-D G-OW1 AO1-L DH-AH0 T-AY1 M-AH0-N D-AY1 S-IY1 AE1-T DH-AH0 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z Z-IH1 R-OW0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R T-IY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z TH-R-UW1 DH-AH0 L-AW1-N-JH


but there's a fan, it's the coolest room in the house. and a man comes to the door.

B-AH1-T DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 F-AE1 N-IH1-T-S DH-AH0 K-UW1 L-AH0-S T-R-UW1 M-IH0-N DH-AH0 HH-AW1 S-AH0-N D-AH0 M-AE1-N K-AH1-M-Z T-UW1 DH-AH0 D-AO1-R


i can hear some commotion at my eyes and this man sort of says, "go back to sleep". i think, "oh, it must be another uncle because-

AY1 K-AE1-N HH-IY1-R S-AH1-M K-AH0 M-OW1 SH-AH0 N-AE1 T-M-AY1 AY1 Z-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-M-AE1-N S-AO1-R T-AH1-V S-EH1-Z G-OW1 B-AE1-K T-UW1 S-L-IY1 P-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-OW1 IH1 T-M-AH1-S-T B-IY1 AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 AH1-NG K-AH0-L B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


there are millions of them" and he wants to be another uncle. and i know he says, "go back to sleep".

DH-EH1 R-AA1-R M-IH1 L-Y-AH0-N Z-AH1-V DH-EH1 M-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1-N-T-S T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 AH1-NG K-AH0 L-AH0-N D-AY1 N-OW1 HH-IY1 S-EH1-Z G-OW1 B-AE1-K T-UW1 S-L-IY1-P


my precious ring. and as i've got up, i am towering above-

M-AY1 P-R-EH1 SH-AH0 S-R-IH1 NG-AH0-N D-AE1 Z-AY1-V G-AA1 T-AH1 P-AY1 AE1-M T-AW1 ER0 IH0 NG-AH0 B-AH1-V


this little hobbit terrorist, basically. right? he's tiny. and he's clearly got a small man syndrome because he started getting more aggressive with me-

DH-IH1 S-L-IH1 T-AH0-L HH-AA1 B-AH0-T T-EH1 R-ER0 IH0-S-T B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 R-AY1-T HH-IY1-Z T-AY1 N-IY0 AH0-N-D HH-IY1-Z K-L-IH1-R L-IY0 G-AA1 T-AH0 S-M-AO1-L M-AE1-N S-IH1-N D-R-OW2-M B-IH0 K-AO1-Z HH-IY1-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D G-EH1 T-IH0-NG M-AO1 R-AH0 G-R-EH1 S-IH0 V-W-IH1 DH-M-IY1


and he starts pushing the gun in my back. and i'm aware that i'm three months pregnant and i'm not pictured by... what the fuck is going on? i can hear noise going on in the other room.

AH0-N-D HH-IY1-S T-AA1-R-T-S P-UH1 SH-IH0-NG DH-AH0 G-AH1 N-IH0-N M-AY1 B-AE1 K-AH0-N D-IH1 M-AH0 W-EH1-R DH-AE1 T-IH1-M TH-R-IY1 M-AH1-N-TH-S P-R-EH1 G-N-AH0-N T-AH0-N D-IH1-M N-AA1-T P-IH1-K CH-ER0-D B-AY1 W-AH1-T DH-AH0 F-AH1 K-IH1-Z G-OW1 IH0 NG-AA1 N-AY1 K-AE1-N HH-IY1-R N-OY1-Z G-OW1 IH0 NG-AA1 N-IH0-N DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 R-UW1-M


and he pushes me to the other room. and in the other room is my mother, and my mother and the rest of the families-

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 P-UH1 SH-AH0 Z-M-IY1 T-UW1 DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 R-UW1 M-AH0-N D-IH0-N DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 R-UW1 M-IH1 Z-M-AY1 M-AH1 DH-ER0 AH0-N D-M-AY1 M-AH1 DH-ER0 AH0-N-D DH-AH0 R-EH1-S T-AH1-V DH-AH0 F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0-Z


other members of the family, and she's kicking off and she's going, "oh, [inaudible 00:01:09]-

AH1 DH-ER0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 Z-AH1-V DH-AH0 F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0 AH0-N-D SH-EH1-S K-IH1 K-IH0 NG-AO1 F-AH0-N-D SH-EH1-S G-OW1 IH0 NG-OW1 IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-W-AH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-N D-N-AY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z


i've gone out for a cup of tea". what the fuck? you know, what's happening?

AY1-V G-AO1 N-AW1-T F-AO1 R-AH0 K-AH1 P-AH1-V T-IY1 W-AH1-T DH-AH0 F-AH1 K-Y-UW1 N-OW1 W-AH0-T-S HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0-NG


they won't listen to me. you know, when i get nervous, i have to go to the toilet-

DH-EY1 W-OW1-N T-L-IH1 S-AH0-N T-UW1 M-IY1 Y-UW1 N-OW1 W-EH1 N-AY1 G-EH1 T-N-ER1 V-AH0 S-AY1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 G-OW1 T-UW1 DH-AH0 T-OY1 L-AH0-T


they won't let me go to the toilet. they won't let me go for a shit". right.

DH-EY1 W-OW1-N T-L-EH1 T-M-IY1 G-OW1 T-UW1 DH-AH0 T-OY1 L-AH0-T DH-EY1 W-OW1-N T-L-EH1 T-M-IY1 G-OW1 F-AO1 R-AH0 SH-IH1 T-R-AY1-T


there are not tea breaks in a hostage situation, right? there are any-

DH-EH1 R-AA1-R N-AA1-T T-IY1 B-R-EY1-K S-IH0 N-AH0 HH-AA1-S T-IH0-JH S-IH2 CH-UW0 EY1 SH-AH0 N-R-AY1-T DH-EH1 R-AA1 R-EH1 N-IY0


toilet breaks?. what are you doing, mom? just shut up. you're going to get some troubles. i'm trying to work this out. what's happening. so-

T-OY1 L-AH0-T B-R-EY1-K S-W-AH1 T-AA1 R-Y-UW1 D-UW1 IH0-NG M-AA1-M JH-AH1-S-T SH-AH1 T-AH1 P-Y-UH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-EH1-T S-AH1-M T-R-AH1 B-AH0-L Z-IH1-M T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 W-ER1-K DH-IH1 S-AW1 T-W-AH0-T-S HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0-NG S-OW1


that's their target. because they want to kidnap him. they want to take him away so they can get the ransom.

TH-AE1-T-S DH-EH1-R T-AA1-R G-AH0-T B-IH0 K-AO1-Z DH-EY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 K-IH1 D-N-AE2-P HH-IH1-M DH-EY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 T-EY1-K HH-IH1 M-AH0 W-EY1 S-OW1 DH-EY1 K-AE1-N G-EH1-T DH-AH0 R-AE1-N S-AH0-M


the thing is the uncle who's a doctor is actually working in saudi. this is a massive fuck up, right? so they were busy trying to make the best of the situation.

DH-AH0 TH-IH1 NG-IH1-Z DH-AH0 AH1-NG K-AH0-L HH-UW1 Z-AH0 D-AA1-K T-ER0 IH1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 W-ER1 K-IH0 NG-IH0-N S-AO1 D-IY0 DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 M-AE1 S-IH0-V F-AH1 K-AH1 P-R-AY1-T S-OW1 DH-EY1 W-ER0 B-IH1 Z-IY0 T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 M-EY1-K DH-AH0 B-EH1-S T-AH1-V DH-AH0 S-IH2 CH-UW0 EY1 SH-AH0-N


and you know which everybody does. and my mom's still going on about the bloody toilet. i was like, "just shut out, mom, shut up".

AH0-N D-Y-UW1 N-OW1 W-IH1 CH-EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0 D-AH1 Z-AH0-N D-M-AY1 M-AA1-M-Z-S T-IH1-L G-OW1 IH0 NG-AA1 N-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 B-L-AH1 D-IY0 T-OY1 L-AH0 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-L-AY1-K JH-AH1-S-T SH-AH1 T-AW1 T-M-AA1-M SH-AH1 T-AH1-P


and they push us into the other bedroom. now there's a little baby girl. and there's two other aunts who were also pregnant.

AH0-N-D DH-EY1 P-UH1 SH-AH1 S-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 B-EH1 D-R-UW2-M N-AW1 DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-EY1 B-IY0 G-ER1 L-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-R-Z T-UW1 AH1 DH-ER0 AE1-N-T-S HH-UW1 W-ER0 AO1-L S-OW0 P-R-EH1 G-N-AH0-N-T


let's call him gunman number two. who's actually the nicer one.

L-EH1-T-S K-AO1-L HH-IH1-M G-AH1-N M-AH0-N N-AH1-M B-ER0 T-UW1 HH-UW1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 DH-AH0 N-AY1 S-ER0 W-AH1-N


if you like, and he's a little bit more shaky. he's a little bit more nervous. and the other one's a little bit more aggressive-

IH1 F-Y-UW1 L-AY1 K-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IH1 T-M-AO1-R SH-EY1 K-IY0 HH-IY1 Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IH1 T-M-AO1-R N-ER1 V-AH0 S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 W-AH1-N Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IH1 T-M-AO1 R-AH0 G-R-EH1 S-IH0-V


so he says, "shut that baby up" because he's panicking. "it's okay.

S-OW1 HH-IY1 S-EH1-Z SH-AH1-T DH-AE1-T B-EY1 B-IY0 AH1-P B-IH0 K-AO1-Z HH-IY1-Z P-AE1 N-IH0 K-IH0 NG-IH1-T S-OW2 K-EY1


it's a household. babies cry. this is normal", but they haven't worked this through in their head-

IH1-T S-AH0 HH-AW1-S HH-OW2-L-D B-EY1 B-IY0-Z K-R-AY1 DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-N-AO1-R M-AH0-L B-AH1-T DH-EY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N T-W-ER1-K-T DH-IH1-S TH-R-UW1 IH0-N DH-EH1-R HH-EH1-D


they think that baby, somehow it's going to give a call, the help-

DH-EY1 TH-IH1-NG-K DH-AE1-T B-EY1 B-IY0 S-AH1-M HH-AW2 IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-IH1 V-AH0 K-AO1-L DH-AH0 HH-EH1-L-P


someway and the baby's crying he says, "shut the baby up". and he panics.

S-AH1 M-W-EY2 AH0-N-D DH-AH0 B-EY1 B-IY0-Z K-R-AY1 IH0-NG HH-IY1 S-EH1-Z SH-AH1-T DH-AH0 B-EY1 B-IY0 AH1 P-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 P-AE1 N-IH0-K-S


i can make her be quiet". she quickly lifts up her top-

AY1 K-AE1-N M-EY1-K HH-ER0 B-IY1 K-W-AY1 AH0-T SH-IY1 K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 L-IH1-F-T S-AH1-P HH-ER0 T-AA1-P