if i were powerful enough, i would have high walls built of solid granite.

IH1 F-AY1 W-ER0 P-AW1 ER0 F-AH0 L-IH0 N-AH1 F-AY1 W-UH1-D HH-AE1-V HH-AY1 W-AO1-L-Z B-IH1-L T-AH1-V S-AA1 L-AH0-D G-R-AE1 N-AH0-T


nothing less than the system of space age air locks and medieval drawbridges to decide who can come in and who is kept out.

N-AH1 TH-IH0 NG-L-EH1-S DH-AE1-N DH-AH0 S-IH1-S T-AH0 M-AH1-V-S P-EY1 S-EY1 JH-EH1-R L-AA1-K S-AH0-N D-M-IH0 D-IY1 V-AH0-L D-R-AO1 B-R-IH0 JH-IH0-Z T-UW1 D-IH0 S-AY1-D HH-UW1 K-AE1-N K-AH1 M-IH0 N-AH0-N-D HH-UW1 IH1-Z K-EH1-P T-AW1-T


i decorated it with felt tip badly.

AY1 D-EH1 K-ER0 EY2 T-AH0 D-IH1 T-W-IH1-DH F-EH1-L-T T-IH1-P B-AE1 D-L-IY0


this line draws the battle lines.

DH-IH1 S-L-AY1-N D-R-AO1-Z DH-AH0 B-AE1 T-AH0-L L-AY1-N-Z


this line you will not cross. this line-

DH-IH1 S-L-AY1 N-Y-UW1 W-IH1-L N-AA1-T K-R-AO1-S DH-IH1 S-L-AY1-N


.. i will bend with fists and feet, claws and teeth.

AY1 W-IH1-L B-EH1-N D-W-IH1-DH F-IH1-S-T S-AH0-N-D F-IY1-T K-L-AO1 Z-AH0-N-D T-IY1-TH


the cat's allowed in. i like her.

DH-AH0 K-AE1-T S-AH0 L-AW1 D-IH0 N-AY1 L-AY1-K HH-ER0


anyway, she's a girl. no boys allowed.

EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2 SH-EH1 S-AH0 G-ER1-L N-OW1 B-OY1 Z-AH0 L-AW1-D


so i'm doing a show all about permission and how and why and where we ask for permission.

S-OW1 IH1-M D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 AO1 L-AH0 B-AW1-T P-ER0 M-IH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D HH-AW1 AH0-N D-W-AY1 AH0-N D-W-EH1 R-W-IY1 AE1-S-K F-AO1-R P-ER0 M-IH1 SH-AH0-N


whether we feel confident and entitled, or like we don't deserve-

W-EH1 DH-ER0 W-IY1 F-IY1-L K-AA1-N F-AH0 D-AH0-N T-AH0-N D-EH0-N T-AY1 T-AH0-L D-AO1-R L-AY1 K-W-IY1 D-AA1-N-T D-IH0 Z-ER1-V


but i do that every day. so at 6:45 at pilgrim.

B-AH1 T-AY1 D-UW1 DH-AE1 T-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 D-EY1 S-OW1 AE1-T S-IH1-K-S F-AO1-R T-IY0 F-AY1 V-AE1-T P-IH1-L G-R-AH0-M


so full standup tragedy, i may as well start with a sad thing. my cat died in june.

S-OW1 F-UH1-L-S T-AE1-N D-AH2-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 AY1 M-EY1 AE1 Z-W-EH1-L-S T-AA1-R T-W-IH1 DH-AH0 S-AE1-D TH-IH1-NG M-AY1 K-AE1-T D-AY1 D-IH0-N JH-UW1-N


and because i'm a 20 something and i don't have my own place-

AH0-N-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 AE1 M-AH0 T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-AY1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1 V-M-AY1 OW1-N P-L-EY1-S


... i had to pay someone over a hundred quid to burn my dead cat because i don't have a garden to put her in myself.

AY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 P-EY1 S-AH1 M-W-AH2 N-OW1 V-ER0 AH0 HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0-D K-W-IH1-D T-UW1 B-ER1-N M-AY1 D-EH1-D K-AE1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1 V-AH0 G-AA1-R D-AH0-N T-UW1 P-UH1-T HH-ER0 IH0-N M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F


and then this happened.

AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N DH-IH1-S HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D


the good news is that there is an afterlife and pets get there too.

DH-AH0 G-UH1 D-N-UW1 Z-IH1-Z DH-AE1-T DH-EH1 R-IH1 Z-AE1 N-AE1-F T-ER0 L-AY2 F-AH0-N-D P-EH1-T-S G-EH1-T DH-EH1-R T-UW1


the bad news is that in the afterlife, there is really mawkish poetry.

DH-AH0 B-AE1 D-N-UW1 Z-IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 AE1-F T-ER0 L-AY2-F DH-EH1 R-IH1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 M-AO1 K-IH0-SH P-OW1 AH0 T-R-IY0


dear pet crematorium guy-

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1


... can you please... thank you for returning my cats ashes along with a candle and a single white flower. that was a nice-

K-AE1 N-Y-UW1 P-L-IY1-Z TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 F-AO1-R R-IH0 T-ER1 N-IH0-NG M-AY1 K-AE1-T S-AE1 SH-AH0 Z-AH0 L-AO1 NG-W-IH1 DH-AH0 K-AE1-N D-AH0 L-AH0-N D-AH0 S-IH1-NG G-AH0 L-W-AY1-T F-L-AW1 ER0 DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 N-AY1-S


... touch. however, i do have some questions about the poetry.

T-AH1-CH HH-AW2 EH1 V-ER0 AY1 D-UW1 HH-AE1-V S-AH1-M K-W-EH1-S CH-AH0-N Z-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 P-OW1 AH0 T-R-IY0


can you please talk me through the four poems you gave me, three of them apparently written by my dead cat. two of them addressing me as mum.

K-AE1 N-Y-UW1 P-L-IY1-Z T-AO1 K-M-IY1 TH-R-UW1 DH-AH0 F-AO1-R P-OW1 AH0-M Z-Y-UW1 G-EY1 V-M-IY1 TH-R-IY1 AH1-V DH-EH1 M-AH0 P-EH1 R-AH0-N T-L-IY0 R-IH1 T-AH0-N B-AY1 M-AY1 D-EH1-D K-AE1-T T-UW1 AH1-V DH-EH1 M-AH0 D-R-EH1 S-IH0-NG M-IY1 AE1 Z-M-AH1-M


dear pet crematorium guy, i am no one's mum.

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 AY1 AE1-M N-OW1 W-AH1-N Z-M-AH1-M


but i do not recall ever giving birth to a cat. i've racked my brains, but i think i would remember.

B-AH1 T-AY1 D-UW1 N-AA1 T-R-IH0 K-AO1 L-EH1 V-ER0 G-IH1 V-IH0-NG B-ER1-TH T-UW1 AH0 K-AE1 T-AY1 V-R-AE1-K T-M-AY1 B-R-EY1-N-Z B-AH1 T-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-AY1 W-UH1 D-R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0


dear pet crematorium guy, i never knew my cat could speak english.

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 AY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 N-UW1 M-AY1 K-AE1-T K-UH1-D-S P-IY1 K-IH1-NG G-L-IH0-SH


i'd have called her nicer things than munchkin bastard face and fuzz butt.

IH1-D HH-AE1-V K-AO1-L-D HH-ER0 N-AY1 S-ER0 TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1-N M-AH1-NG-K HH-IH2-N B-AE1-S T-ER0-D F-EY1 S-AH0-N-D F-AH1-Z B-AH1-T


dear pet crematorium guy, i have run poetry workshops.

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 AY1 HH-AE1 V-R-AH1-N P-OW1 AH0 T-R-IY0 W-ER1-K SH-AA2-P-S


if i'd known it was a budding poet sleeping next to my pillow every night-

IH1 F-IH1 D-N-OW1 N-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-AH1 D-IH0-NG P-OW1 AH0-T S-L-IY1 P-IH0-NG N-EH1-K-S-T T-UW1 M-AY1 P-IH1 L-OW0 EH1 V-ER0 IY0 N-AY1-T


i'd have given her some advice in amongst the chin scratches.

IH1-D HH-AE1-V G-IH1 V-AH0-N HH-ER0 S-AH1 M-AE0-D V-AY1 S-IH0 N-AH0 M-AH1-NG-S-T DH-AH0 CH-IH1-N-S K-R-AE1 CH-AH0-Z


dear pet crematorium guy, why was she holding out on me this whole time?

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 W-AY1 W-AA1-Z SH-IY1 HH-OW1-L D-IH0 NG-AW1 T-AA1-N M-IY1 DH-IH1-S HH-OW1-L T-AY1-M


dear pet crematorium guy, are you sure this is from her? only i think her scansion would be better.

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 AA1 R-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-R DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z F-R-AH1-M HH-ER0 OW1 N-L-IY0 AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K HH-ER0-S K-AE1-N ZH-AH0 N-W-UH1-D B-IY1 B-EH1 T-ER0


dear pet crematorium guy, it hurts that she chose to communicate from beyond the grave.

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 IH1-T HH-ER1-T-S DH-AE1-T SH-IY1 CH-OW1-Z T-UW1 K-AH0 M-Y-UW1 N-AH0 K-EY2-T F-R-AH1-M B-IH0 AA1-N-D DH-AH0 G-R-EY1-V


why is my dead cat writing to tell me to be strong?

W-AY1 IH1 Z-M-AY1 D-EH1-D K-AE1 T-R-AY1 T-IH0-NG T-UW1 T-EH1-L M-IY1 T-UW1 B-IY1-S T-R-AO1-NG


she knows i'm strong. i can open all the doors and tins-

SH-IY1 N-OW1 Z-IH1-M-S T-R-AO1 NG-AY1 K-AE1 N-OW1 P-AH0 N-AO1-L DH-AH0 D-AO1-R Z-AH0-N-D T-IH1-N-Z


... she could only claw at. dear-

SH-IY1 K-UH1 D-OW1 N-L-IY0 K-L-AO1 AE1-T D-IH1-R


... pet crematorium guy, you do not know me. you do not know my cat.

P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 Y-UW1 D-UW1 N-AA1 T-N-OW1 M-IY1 Y-UW1 D-UW1 N-AA1 T-N-OW1 M-AY1 K-AE1-T


all you know about her is her name and that she was a cat.

AO1 L-Y-UW1 N-OW1 AH0 B-AW1-T HH-ER0 IH1-Z HH-ER0 N-EY1 M-AH0-N-D DH-AE1-T SH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 K-AE1-T


all you know about me is my name. and that i used to have a cat.

AO1 L-Y-UW1 N-OW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-IY1 IH1 Z-M-AY1 N-EY1 M-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-AY1 Y-UW1-Z-D T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 K-AE1-T


dear pet crematorium guy, you probably mean well, but you are out of your depth.

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 Y-UW1 P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 M-IY1 N-W-EH1-L B-AH1 T-Y-UW1 AA1 R-AW1 T-AH1 V-Y-AO1-R D-EH1-P-TH


dear pet crematorium guy, you just brought a clinton's card to a knife fight-

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 Y-UW1 JH-AH1-S-T B-R-AO1 T-AH0 K-L-IH1-N T-AH0-N-Z K-AA1-R-D T-UW1 AH0 N-AY1-F F-AY1-T


... fight if you'd known me all my cat, you would know she was fierce.

F-AY1 T-IH1 F-Y-AH1 D-N-OW1-N M-IY1 AO1-L M-AY1 K-AE1 T-Y-UW1 W-UH1 D-N-OW1 SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z F-IH1-R-S


i remain fierce and the soft underbelly of our bond was something earned over time.

AY1 R-IH0 M-EY1-N F-IH1-R S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-AA1-F T-AH1-N D-ER0 B-EH2 L-IY0 AH1 V-AW1 ER0 B-AA1-N D-W-AA1-Z S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-ER1-N D-OW1 V-ER0 T-AY1-M


not everyone gets to pet it's perfect fur.

N-AA1 T-EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N G-EH1-T-S T-UW1 P-EH1 T-IH1-T-S P-ER1 F-IH2-K-T F-ER1


some bastards will get slashed for trying.

S-AH1-M B-AE1-S T-ER0-D Z-W-IH1-L G-EH1-T S-L-AE1-SH-T F-AO1-R T-R-AY1 IH0-NG


our bond was built in close swearing, grudging mutual respect and time. she was a crabby traumatized old lady.

AW1 ER0 B-AA1-N D-W-AA1-Z B-IH1-L T-IH0-N K-L-OW1-S S-W-EH1 R-IH0-NG G-R-AH1 JH-IH0-NG M-Y-UW1 CH-AH0 W-AH0-L R-IH0-S P-EH1-K T-AH0-N-D T-AY1-M SH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 K-R-AE1 B-IY0 T-R-AO1 M-AH0 T-AY2-Z D-OW1-L D-L-EY1 D-IY0


i was a young idiot who didn't know what i'd taken on across four years, four homes and 14 different housemates. she unfurled in my care.

AY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 Y-AH1 NG-IH1 D-IY0 AH0-T HH-UW1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-N-OW1 W-AH1 T-IH1-D T-EY1 K-AH0 N-AA1 N-AH0 K-R-AO1-S F-AO1 R-Y-IH1-R-Z F-AO1-R HH-OW1-M Z-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R T-IY1-N D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T HH-AW1 S-M-EY2-T-S SH-IY1 AH0-N F-ER1-L D-IH0-N M-AY1 K-EH1-R


i grew up in hers. we curled up asleep against each other against the world every night.

AY1 G-R-UW1 AH1 P-IH0-N HH-ER0 Z-W-IY1 K-ER1-L D-AH1 P-AH0 S-L-IY1 P-AH0 G-EH1-N-S T-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0 AH0 G-EH1-N-S-T DH-AH0 W-ER1-L D-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 N-AY1-T


dear pet crematorium guy-

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1


... thank you for the suggestion but i do not need to look for my cat in the first ray of sunshine or in the smile on a baby.

TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1 F-AO1-R DH-AH0 S-AH0-G JH-EH1-S CH-AH0-N B-AH1 T-AY1 D-UW1 N-AA1 T-N-IY1-D T-UW1 L-UH1-K F-AO1-R M-AY1 K-AE1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-ER1-S T-R-EY1 AH1-V S-AH1-N SH-AY2 N-AO1 R-IH0-N DH-AH0 S-M-AY1 L-AA1 N-AH0 B-EY1 B-IY0


dear pet crematorium guy-


... you are not a spirit medium. dear pet crematorium guy-

Y-UW1 AA1-R N-AA1 T-AH0-S P-IH1 R-AH0 T-M-IY1 D-IY0 AH0-M D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1


... i paid you to burn my cat's remains not do a ventriloquist routine with her memory.

AY1 P-EY1 D-Y-UW1 T-UW1 B-ER1-N M-AY1 K-AE1-T S-R-IH0 M-EY1-N Z-N-AA1-T D-UW1 AH0 V-EH2-N T-R-AH0 L-AA1 V-AH0 CH-AH0-L R-UW0 T-IY1 N-W-IH1-DH HH-ER0 M-EH1 M-ER0 IY0


dear pet crematorium guy, my gorgeous monster, isn't here to vomit anymore-

D-IH1-R P-EH1-T K-R-IY0 M-AH0 T-AO1 R-IY0 AH0-M G-AY1 M-AY1 G-AO1-R JH-AH0 S-M-AA1-N-S T-ER0 IH1 S-AH0-N-T HH-IY1-R T-UW1 V-AA1 M-AH0 T-EH2 N-IY0 M-AO1-R


... but i may do it for her.

B-AH1 T-AY1 M-EY1 D-UW1 IH1-T F-AO1-R HH-ER0


[inaudible 00:02:13]. rihanna.yeah.that was not as warm a reception for rihanna as i expect-

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 T-IY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-R-IH2 HH-AH0 N-EY1 SH-AH0 T-W-AA1 Z-N-AA1 T-AE1 Z-W-AO1-R M-AH0 R-IH0 S-EH1-P SH-AH0-N F-AO1-R R-IH0 HH-AA1 N-AH0 AE1 Z-AY1 IH0-K-S P-EH1-K-T


now i want to make it clear before i start doing this, that this is not parody-

N-AW1 AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 M-EY1 K-IH1-T K-L-IH1-R B-IH0 F-AO1 R-AY1-S T-AA1-R-T D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1-S DH-AE1-T DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-N-AA1-T P-EH1 R-AH0 D-IY0


... and this song, now i need to, first of all, i got to find it so slick, so slick today, right? found it. okay.

AH0-N-D DH-IH1-S S-AO1-NG N-AW1 AY1 N-IY1-D T-UW1 F-ER1-S T-AH1 V-AO1 L-AY1 G-AA1-T T-UW1 F-AY1-N D-IH1-T S-OW1 S-L-IH1-K S-OW1 S-L-IH1-K T-AH0 D-EY1 R-AY1-T F-AW1-N D-IH1 T-OW2 K-EY1


i thought this was a universal reference, but it isn't. so i discovered-

AY1 TH-AO1-T DH-IH1 S-W-AA1 Z-AH0 Y-UW2 N-AH0 V-ER1 S-AH0-L R-EH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-S B-AH1 T-IH1 T-IH1 S-AH0-N-T S-OW1 AY1 D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0-D


... so yeah, a platform game is a computer game where you have a little character that jumps up around on platforms.

S-OW1 Y-AE1 AH0 P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M G-EY1 M-IH1 Z-AH0 K-AH0-M P-Y-UW1 T-ER0 G-EY1 M-W-EH1 R-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L K-EH1 R-IH0-K T-ER0 DH-AE1-T JH-AH1-M-P S-AH1 P-ER0 AW1-N D-AA1-N P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M-Z


for example, a super mario or sonic, the hedgehog.

F-AO1 R-IH0-G Z-AE1-M P-AH0 L-AH0 S-UW1 P-ER0 M-AA1 R-IY0 OW0 AO1-R S-AA1 N-IH0-K DH-AH0 HH-EH1-JH HH-AA2-G


do people have a favorite platform game character? anybody got one?

D-UW1 P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-AE1 V-AH0 F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M G-EY1-M K-EH1 R-IH0-K T-ER0 EH1 N-IY0 B-AH0 D-IY0 G-AA1 T-W-AH1-N


alex the kid.alex the kid? that's a good one, that's a good one. anybody else?

AE1 L-AH0-K-S DH-AH0 K-IH1 D-AH0 L-EH0-S DH-AH0 K-IH1-D TH-AE1-T S-AH0 G-UH1 D-W-AH1-N TH-AE1-T S-AH0 G-UH1 D-W-AH1 N-EH1 N-IY0 B-AH0 D-IY0 EH1-L-S


no? a very unplatform board game playing crowd. good job-

N-OW1 AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 AH0-N P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M B-AO1-R-D G-EY1-M P-L-EY1 IH0-NG K-R-AW1-D G-UH1-D JH-AA1-B


... i'm singing a song about one, right? so what i want you to do now is i want you to, even if you don't have a favorite platform game character-

IH1-M S-IH1 NG-IH0 NG-AH0 S-AO1 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-W-AH1 N-R-AY1-T S-OW1 W-AH1 T-AY1 W-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 T-UW1 D-UW1 N-AW1 IH1 Z-AY1 W-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 T-UW1 IY1 V-IH0 N-IH1 F-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1 V-AH0 F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M G-EY1-M K-EH1 R-IH0-K T-ER0


... so yeah, sonic's obviously better, but mario is pretty cool too. anyway-

S-OW1 Y-AE1 S-AA1 N-IH0-K S-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 B-EH1 T-ER0 B-AH1 T-M-AA1 R-IY0 OW0 IH1-Z P-R-IH1 T-IY0 K-UW1-L T-UW1 EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


... i would say this is a song about the last ever platform game character.

AY1 W-UH1-D S-EY1 DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 S-AO1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0 L-AE1-S T-EH1 V-ER0 P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M G-EY1-M K-EH1 R-IH0-K T-ER0


when you see me, i will no longer be me. i will be that platform game character that you don't want to die.

W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 S-IY1 M-IY1 AY1 W-IH1-L N-OW1 L-AO1-NG G-ER0 B-IY1 M-IY1 AY1 W-IH1-L B-IY1 DH-AE1-T P-L-AE1-T F-AO2-R-M G-EY1-M K-EH1 R-IH0-K T-ER0 DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 D-AY1


[inaudible 00:03:34] performer but i didn't want to repeat it, but now i've done that. well, my style, my hosting style is awkward. if you hadn't guessed, sometimes it takes people a while to get used-

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z TH-R-IY1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D TH-ER1 D-IY0 F-AO1-R S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0 B-AH1 T-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 R-IH0 P-IY1 T-IH1-T B-AH1 T-N-AW1 AY1-V D-AH1-N DH-AE1 T-W-EH1-L M-AY1-S T-AY1-L M-AY1 HH-OW1-S T-IH0-NG-S T-AY1 L-IH1 Z-AA1 K-W-ER0 D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 D-AH0-N-T G-EH1-S-T S-AH0-M T-AY1-M Z-IH1-T T-EY1-K-S P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH0 W-AY1-L T-UW1 G-EH1 T-Y-UW1-Z-D


... when people build me up. so i love to build people up. he's really great he-

W-EH1-N P-IY1 P-AH0-L B-IH1-L D-M-IY1 AH1-P S-OW1 AY1 L-AH1-V T-UW1 B-IH1-L-D P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AH1-P HH-IY1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 G-R-EY1-T HH-IY1


oh you're smiling. funny old world. oh, did you go snorkeling?no i didn't.

OW1 Y-UH1-R S-M-AY1 L-IH0-NG F-AH1 N-IY0 OW1-L D-W-ER1-L D-OW1 D-IH1 D-Y-UW1 G-OW1-S K-AO2-R-N K-AH0 L-IY1 G-N-OW0 AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T


-right about it. you'd go sharp mate, your bungle.

R-AY1 T-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1 T-Y-AH1-D G-OW1 SH-AA1-R P-M-EY1 T-Y-AO1-R B-AH1-NG G-AH0-L


it was the same. anybody read vonnegut?yeah.he's good ain't he? i discovered vonnegut on holiday because the next day she was-

IH1 T-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 S-EY1 M-EH1 N-IY0 B-AH0 D-IY0 R-EH1-D V-AA2 N-AH0 G-W-EY1 SH-AH0-S G-UH1 D-EY1-N-T HH-IY1 AY1 D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0-D V-AA1 N-AH0 G-AH0 T-AA1-N HH-AA1 L-AH0 D-EY2 B-IH0 K-AO1-Z DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T D-EY1 SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z


... and she read the exact passage where he says exactly the same thing as that. you know, that bit where he says that the core of every human being is a little ball of light.

AH0-N-D SH-IY1 R-IY1-D DH-AH0 IH0-G Z-AE1-K-T P-AE1 S-AH0 JH-W-EH1-R HH-IY1 S-EH1 Z-IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 DH-AH0 S-EY1-M TH-IH1 NG-AE1-Z DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 N-OW1 DH-AE1-T B-IH1 T-W-EH1-R HH-IY1 S-EH1-Z DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 K-AO1 R-AH1 V-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0-N B-IY1 IH0 NG-IH1 Z-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-AO1 L-AH1 V-L-AY1-T


so me and vonnegut are like that now.

S-OW1 M-IY1 AH0-N-D V-AA1 N-AH0 G-AH0 T-AA1-R L-AY1-K DH-AE1 T-N-AW1


great guy. have you all read cat's cradle? who's read sirens of titan? bloody hell, good isn't it just finished it.

G-R-EY1-T G-AY1 HH-AE1 V-Y-UW1 AO1-L R-EH1-D K-AE1-T-S K-R-EY1 D-AH0-L HH-UW1 Z-R-EH1-D S-AY1 R-AH0-N Z-AH1-V T-AY1 T-AH0-N B-L-AH1 D-IY0 HH-EH1-L G-UH1 D-IH1 S-AH0-N T-IH1-T JH-AH1-S-T F-IH1 N-IH0-SH T-IH1-T


... that's all right. one more thing i was going to say about holidays.

TH-AE1-T S-AO1-L R-AY1 T-W-AH1-N M-AO1-R TH-IH1 NG-AY1 W-AA1-Z G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-EY1 AH0 B-AW1-T HH-AA1 L-AH0 D-EY2-Z


you'd learn a lot, don't you? what's the best thing you learned in cambodia?

Y-AH1 D-L-ER1 N-AH0 L-AA1-T D-AA1-N T-Y-UW1 W-AH0-T-S DH-AH0 B-EH1-S-T TH-IH1 NG-Y-UW1 L-ER1 N-IH0 D-IH0-N K-AE2-M B-OW1 D-IY0 AH0


i don't come out of trees. they're built into the trees, they're built into the trees.

AY1 D-AA1-N-T K-AH1 M-AW1 T-AH1-V T-R-IY1-Z TH-EH1-R B-IH1-L T-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 T-R-IY1-Z TH-EH1-R B-IH1-L T-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 T-R-IY1-Z


it's all right to have a sad ending isn't it?

IH1-T S-AO1-L R-AY1-T T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 S-AE1 D-EH1-N D-IH0 NG-IH1 S-AH0-N T-IH1-T


we love this, we love this. you learn a lot about yourself. you learn a lot about your priorities-

W-IY1 L-AH1-V DH-IH1 S-W-IY1 L-AH1-V DH-IH1 S-Y-UW1 L-ER1 N-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH0 B-AW1 T-Y-ER0 S-EH1-L F-Y-UW1 L-ER1 N-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH0 B-AW1 T-Y-AO1-R P-R-AY0 AO1 R-AH0 T-IY0-Z


i am actually going away also at the end of july, just make sure she's all right. check in.

AY1 AE1 M-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 G-OW1 IH0 NG-AH0 W-EY1 AO1-L S-OW0 AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1-V JH-UW2 L-AY1 JH-AH1-S T-M-EY1-K SH-UH1-R SH-EH1 S-AO1-L R-AY1-T CH-EH1 K-IH0-N


so i really ought to, i mean, i went around the world for the other one.

S-OW1 AY1 R-IH1 L-IY0 AO1-T T-UW1 AY1 M-IY1 N-AY1 W-EH1-N T-ER0 AW1-N-D DH-AH0 W-ER1-L-D F-AO1-R DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 W-AH1-N


we got tonight, our tragic beginnings-

W-IY1 G-AA1-T T-AH0 N-AY1 T-AW1 ER0 T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K B-IH0 G-IH1 N-IH0-NG-Z


... of standup tragedy. this is the acts you will be waiting-

AH1-V-S T-AE1-N D-AH2-P T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 AE1-K-T S-Y-UW1 W-IH1-L B-IY1 W-EY1 T-IH0-NG


you can make friends with the tragedy on facebook-

Y-UW1 K-AE1-N M-EY1-K F-R-EH1-N-D Z-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 AA1-N F-EY1-S B-UH2-K


... if you'd like, or you can just like our page, but we prefer you to make friends with the tragedy and-

IH1 F-Y-AH1 D-L-AY1 K-AO1 R-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N JH-AH1-S T-L-AY1 K-AW1 ER0 P-EY1-JH B-AH1 T-W-IY1 P-R-AH0 F-ER1 Y-UW1 T-UW1 M-EY1-K F-R-EH1-N-D Z-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 AH0-N-D


... if any of you would like to look at the table on your way out-

IH1 F-EH1 N-IY0 AH1 V-Y-UW1 W-UH1 D-L-AY1-K T-UW1 L-UH1 K-AE1-T DH-AH0 T-EY1 B-AH0 L-AA1 N-Y-AO1 R-W-EY1 AW1-T


... there is some merch that i'm desperately trying to sell because i don't have a job. so i'm really, really desperate for money. so there you go.

DH-EH1 R-IH1-Z S-AH1-M M-ER1-CH DH-AE1 T-IH1-M D-EH1-S P-ER0 AH0 T-L-IY0 T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-EH1-L B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1 V-AH0 JH-AA1-B S-OW1 IH1 M-R-IH1 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 D-EH1-S P-R-IH0-T F-AO1-R M-AH1 N-IY0 S-OW1 DH-EH1 R-Y-UW1 G-OW1


... we publish a written tragedy on our-

W-IY1 P-AH1 B-L-IH0 SH-AH0 R-IH1 T-AH0-N T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 AA1 N-AW1 ER0


... blog. so go over to our website, www.standuptragedy.co.uk. and you can find out how to submit to our blog there or speak to-

B-L-AA1-G S-OW1 G-OW1 OW1 V-ER0 T-UW1 AW1 ER0 W-EH1-B S-AY2 T-W-AW2-S T-AH0-N D-W-AH1-K T-IH0 NG-W-AH0 AH0-N D-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N F-AY1-N D-AW1-T HH-AW1 T-UW1 S-AH0 B-M-IH1-T T-UW1 AW1 ER0 B-L-AA1-G DH-EH1 R-AO1-R-S P-IY1-K T-UW1


... the lovely stories. absolutely, that's of course, what plugging is all about? isn't it?

DH-AH0 L-AH1 V-L-IY0-S T-AO1 R-IY0 Z-AE2-B S-AH0 L-UW1 T-L-IY0 TH-AE1-T S-AH1-V K-AO1-R S-W-AH1-T P-L-AH1 G-IH0 NG-IH1 Z-AO1 L-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1 S-AH0-N T-IH1-T


it's going to be three performers doing some tragic sex.

IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 TH-R-IY1 P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-ER0-Z D-UW1 IH0-NG S-AH1-M T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K S-EH1-K-S


she's a writer and true storyteller. she's done stories regularly with spark london.

SH-EH1 S-AH0 R-AY1 T-ER0 AH0-N-D T-R-UW1-S T-AO1 R-IY0 T-EH2 L-ER0 SH-EH1-S D-AH1-N-S T-AO1 R-IY0 Z-R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0 L-IY0 W-IH1-DH-S P-AA1-R K-L-AH1-N D-AH0-N


you can find out about spark london on your tables. and she's also performed with the american storytelling show risk. put your-

Y-UW1 K-AE1-N F-AY1-N D-AW1 T-AH0 B-AW1-T-S P-AA1-R K-L-AH1-N D-AH0 N-AA1 N-Y-AO1-R T-EY1 B-AH0-L Z-AH0-N-D SH-EH1 S-AO1-L S-OW0 P-ER0 F-AO1-R-M D-W-IH1-DH DH-AH0 AH0 M-EH1 R-AH0 K-AH0-N-S T-AO1 R-IY0 T-EH2 L-IH0-NG SH-OW1 R-IH1-S-K P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R


... celia sing.


it was basically just... there was about 40 people in a room and about 20 of them were from the organization. and about 20 of them were sort of members of the public like us. and it was a whole lot of, kind of getting to know you games-

IH1 T-W-AA1-Z B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 JH-AH1-S-T DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T F-AO1-R T-IY0 P-IY1 P-AH0 L-IH0 N-AH0 R-UW1 M-AH0-N D-AH0 B-AW1-T T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 AH1-V DH-EH1 M-W-ER0 F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 AO2-R G-AH0 N-AH0 Z-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N D-AH0 B-AW1-T T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 AH1-V DH-EH1 M-W-ER0 S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-M-EH1-M B-ER0 Z-AH1-V DH-AH0 P-AH1 B-L-IH0 K-L-AY1 K-AH1 S-AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 HH-OW1-L L-AA1 T-AH1-V K-AY1-N D-AH1-V G-EH1 T-IH0-NG T-UW1 N-OW1 Y-UW1 G-EY1-M-Z


... talking to you where i don't know what it was about.

T-AO1 K-IH0-NG T-UW1 Y-UW1 W-EH1 R-AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 W-AH1 T-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T


... what they were doing but you kind of came away feeling like i'd given up all this personal information and kind of talked about quite sort of personal things.

W-AH1-T DH-EY1 W-ER0 D-UW1 IH0-NG B-AH1 T-Y-UW1 K-AY1-N D-AH1-V K-EY1 M-AH0 W-EY1 F-IY1 L-IH0 NG-L-AY1 K-IH1-D G-IH1 V-AH0 N-AH1 P-AO1-L DH-IH1-S P-ER1 S-IH0 N-IH0 L-IH2-N F-ER0 M-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D K-AY1-N D-AH1-V T-AO1-K T-AH0 B-AW1-T K-W-AY1-T S-AO1-R T-AH1-V P-ER1 S-IH0 N-IH0-L TH-IH1-NG-Z


i'm not really sure how this works. so we thought that because we'd really enjoy this night-

IH1-M N-AA1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 SH-UH1-R HH-AW1 DH-IH1 S-W-ER1-K-S S-OW1 W-IY1 TH-AO1-T DH-AE1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-W-EH1 D-R-IH1 L-IY0 EH0-N JH-OY1 DH-IH1 S-N-AY1-T


... we might go to another one of these nights, but we wouldn't probably go to one of their workshops and go and see the demonstration or anything like that.

W-IY1 M-AY1-T G-OW1 T-UW1 AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-IY1 Z-N-AY1-T-S B-AH1 T-W-IY1 W-UH1 D-L-AH0-N-T P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 G-OW1 T-UW1 W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-EH1 R-W-ER1-K SH-AA2-P S-AH0-N-D G-OW1 AH0-N-D S-IY1 DH-AH0 D-EH2 M-AH0-N-S T-R-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AO1 R-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-L-AY1-K DH-AE1-T


at least that was what my plan was. but the next day-

AE1 T-L-IY1-S-T DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-W-AH1 T-M-AY1 P-L-AE1 N-W-AA1-Z B-AH1-T DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T D-EY1


... i got this phone call from a woman from the organization. and somehow during the course of the conversation-

AY1 G-AA1-T DH-IH1-S F-OW1-N K-AO1-L F-R-AH1 M-AH0 W-UH1 M-AH0-N F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 AO2-R G-AH0 N-AH0 Z-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D S-AH1-M HH-AW2 D-UH1 R-IH0-NG DH-AH0 K-AO1-R S-AH1-V DH-AH0 K-AA2-N V-ER0 S-EY1 SH-AH0-N


... i signed up and paid over a hundred pounds to go to this full day workshop where i would see this-

AY1 S-AY1-N D-AH1 P-AH0-N-D P-EY1 D-OW1 V-ER0 AH0 HH-AH1-N D-R-AH0-D P-AW1-N-D-Z T-UW1 G-OW1 T-UW1 DH-IH1-S F-UH1-L D-EY1 W-ER1-K SH-AA2 P-W-EH1 R-AY1 W-UH1-D S-IY1 DH-IH1-S


... demonstrated technique and potentially try it out for myself-

D-EH1 M-AH0-N-S T-R-EY2 T-AH0-D T-EH0 K-N-IY1 K-AH0-N-D P-AH0 T-EH1-N SH-AH0 L-IY0 T-R-AY1 IH1 T-AW1-T F-AO1-R M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F


... that kind of thing. but i was actually really, really looking forward to this. and this is probably where it's quite important for me to have a say why-

DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1-V TH-IH1-NG B-AH1 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 L-UH1 K-IH0-NG F-AO1 R-W-ER0-D T-UW1 DH-IH1 S-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 W-EH1 R-IH1-T-S K-W-AY1 T-IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N-T F-AO1-R M-IY1 T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 S-EY1 W-AY1


... we were very compatible in lots of different ways-

W-IY1 W-ER0 V-EH1 R-IY0 K-AH0-M P-AE1 T-AH0 B-AH0 L-IH0 N-L-AA1-T S-AH1-V D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-W-EY1-Z


... and he'd gone off to burning man and then came, well after burning man, sent me an email-

AH0-N-D HH-EH1-D G-AO1 N-AO1-F T-UW1 B-ER1 N-IH0-NG M-AE1 N-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N K-EY1 M-W-EH1 L-AE1-F T-ER0 B-ER1 N-IH0-NG M-AE1-N S-EH1-N T-M-IY1 AE1 N-IY0 M-EY1-L


... telling me all about this really, really amazing woman he met. and it was about-

T-EH1 L-IH0-NG M-IY1 AO1 L-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-IH1 S-R-IH1 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-W-UH1 M-AH0-N HH-IY1 M-EH1 T-AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T


... that kind of, i guess, one of the things that was really in my head was that i wasn't, and that i wasn't good enough-

DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-AY1 G-EH1 S-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 IH0-N M-AY1 HH-EH1 D-W-AA1-Z DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AO1-S T-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AO1-S-T G-UH1 D-IH0 N-AH1-F


... i guess. and so i was kind of, i suppose, looking for something in my life at the time that was like that i could become someone other than who i was really.

AY1 G-EH1 S-AH0-N-D S-OW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-AY1 S-AH0 P-OW1 Z-L-UH1 K-IH0-NG F-AO1-R S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-IH0-N M-AY1 L-AY1 F-AE1-T DH-AH0 T-AY1-M DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-L-AY1-K DH-AE1 T-AY1 K-UH1-D B-IH0 K-AH1-M S-AH1 M-W-AH2 N-AH1 DH-ER0 DH-AE1-N HH-UW1 AY1 W-AA1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0


it was actually something that i wanted. so i signed up for this full day workshop and i'd been waking up very, very early in the mornings and having those anxiety attacks-

IH1 T-W-AA1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-N T-AH0-D S-OW1 AY1 S-AY1-N D-AH1-P F-AO1-R DH-IH1-S F-UH1-L D-EY1 W-ER1-K SH-AA2 P-AH0-N D-IH1-D B-IH1 N-W-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH1-P V-EH1 R-IY0 V-EH1 R-IY0 ER1 L-IY0 IH0-N DH-AH0 M-AO1-R N-IH0-NG Z-AH0-N-D HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG DH-OW1 Z-AE0-NG Z-AY1 AH0 T-IY0 AH0 T-AE1-K-S


... but [inaudible 00:08:51] if anyone else has ever had those, where you feel like you...everything that-

B-AH1 T-IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-EY1 T-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 W-AH1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N D-IH1 F-EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2 N-EH1-L-S HH-AE1 Z-EH1 V-ER0 HH-AE1-D DH-OW1 Z-W-EH1 R-Y-UW1 F-IY1-L L-AY1 K-Y-UW2 V-ER0 EY1 SH-IH0-NG DH-AE1-T


... really, really tiny things are suddenly the most incredibly stressful thing in the world. like, "oh my god-

R-IH1 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 T-AY1 N-IY0 TH-IH1-NG Z-AA1-R S-AH1 D-AH0 N-L-IY0 DH-AH0 M-OW1-S T-IH0-N K-R-EH1 D-AH0 B-L-IY0-S T-R-EH1-S F-AH0-L TH-IH1 NG-IH0-N DH-AH0 W-ER1-L D-L-AY1 K-OW1 M-AY1 G-AA1-D


... sit there and sort of have people talk to me. but i knew that i was kind of going to go into the space where people were just going to talk at me. and that's exactly what happened.

S-IH1-T DH-EH1 R-AH0-N-D S-AO1-R T-AH1-V HH-AE1-V P-IY1 P-AH0-L T-AO1-K T-UW1 M-IY1 B-AH1 T-AY1 N-UW1 DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z K-AY1-N D-AH1-V G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-OW1 IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0-S P-EY1 S-W-EH1-R P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-ER0 JH-AH1-S-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 T-AO1 K-AE1 T-M-IY1 AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T S-IH0-G Z-AE1-K T-L-IY0 W-AH1-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D


learning this clitoral stimulation technique will change your life. and that was what they were doing. and so there was a woman and a guy who were running-

L-ER1 N-IH0-NG DH-IH1-S K-L-IH1 T-ER0 AH0-L-S T-IH2 M-Y-AH0 L-EY1 SH-AH0-N T-EH0 K-N-IY1 K-W-IH1-L CH-EY1-N JH-Y-AO1-R L-AY1 F-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-W-AH1-T DH-EY1 W-ER0 D-UW1 IH0 NG-AH0-N-D S-OW1 DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-AH0 W-UH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-N D-AH0 G-AY1 HH-UW1 W-ER0 R-AH1 N-IH0-NG


... nothing and they're both really young and attractive. and they were talking about, like i said, "oh, you know, as soon as i started doing this," they call it orgasmic meditation that their lives-

N-AH1 TH-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D TH-EH1-R B-OW1 TH-R-IH1 L-IY0 Y-AH1 NG-AH0-N D-AH0 T-R-AE1-K T-IH0 V-AH0-N-D DH-EY1 W-ER0 T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-L-AY1 K-AY1 S-EH1 D-OW1 Y-UW1 N-OW1 AE1-Z S-UW1 N-AE1 Z-AY1-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-D D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1-S DH-EY1 K-AO1 L-IH1 T-AO2-R G-AE0 S-IY1 M-IH0 K-M-EH2 D-AH0 T-EY1 SH-AH0-N DH-AE1-T DH-EH1-R L-IH1-V-Z


... he'd started a business. and she said that people had really noticed i'm so different and everything like that.

HH-EH1-D-S T-AA1-R T-AH0 D-AH0 B-IH1 Z-N-AH0 S-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 S-EH1-D DH-AE1-T P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-AE1 D-R-IH1 L-IY0 N-OW1 T-AH0-S T-IH1-M S-OW1 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-AH0-N D-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-L-AY1-K DH-AE1-T


and that really sort of resonated with me. and i was like, i want this change in my life. and then-

AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-R-IH1 L-IY0 S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-R-EH1 Z-AH0 N-EY2 T-IH0 D-W-IH1 DH-M-IY1 AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1 Z-L-AY1 K-AY1 W-AA1-N-T DH-IH1-S CH-EY1-N JH-IH0-N M-AY1 L-AY1 F-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N


i guess he would say where it's about consent and they were really, really very clear about laying that out.

AY1 G-EH1-S HH-IY1 W-UH1-D S-EY1 W-EH1 R-IH1-T S-AH0 B-AW1-T K-AH0-N S-EH1-N T-AH0-N-D DH-EY1 W-ER0 R-IH1 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 V-EH1 R-IY0 K-L-IH1 R-AH0 B-AW1 T-L-EY1 IH0-NG DH-AE1 T-AW1-T


there was a traffic light system was mentioned in that kind of thing. and i was feeling like i really trusted them. and that may be that my sort of suspicion actually about their agenda and-

DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-AH0 T-R-AE1 F-IH0 K-L-AY1-T S-IH1-S T-AH0 M-W-AA1 Z-M-EH1-N SH-AH0-N D-IH0-N DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1-V TH-IH1 NG-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AA1-Z F-IY1 L-IH0 NG-L-AY1 K-AY1 R-IH1 L-IY0 T-R-AH1-S T-IH0-D DH-EH1 M-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-M-EY1 B-IY1 DH-AE1 T-M-AY1 S-AO1-R T-AH1-V S-AH0-S P-IH1 SH-AH0 N-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 AH0 B-AW1-T DH-EH1 R-AH0 JH-EH1-N D-AH0 AH0-N-D


... getting personal information out of me was actually, was unfair.

G-EH1 T-IH0-NG P-ER1 S-IH0 N-IH0 L-IH2-N F-ER0 M-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AW1 T-AH1 V-M-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 W-AA1 Z-AH0-N F-EH1-R


so they'd been describing, this is a feather light touch in the top, right-hand quadrant of the clitoris-

S-OW1 TH-IY1-D B-IH1-N D-IH0-S K-R-AY1 B-IH0-NG DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AH0 F-EH1 DH-ER0 L-AY1-T T-AH1 CH-IH0-N DH-AH0 T-AA1 P-R-AY0-T HH-AE1-N-D K-W-AA1 D-R-AH0-N T-AH1-V DH-AH0 K-L-AY0 T-AO1 R-IH0-S


you can do it with a partner or with someone that you trust that you'd like to do it with. as long as one person in the pair has got a clitoris, or two people-

Y-UW1 K-AE1-N D-UW1 IH1 T-W-IH1 DH-AH0 P-AA1-R T-N-ER0 AO1 R-W-IH1-DH S-AH1 M-W-AH2-N DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 T-R-AH1-S-T DH-AE1 T-Y-AH1 D-L-AY1-K T-UW1 D-UW1 IH1 T-W-IH1 DH-AE1 Z-L-AO1 NG-AE1 Z-W-AH1-N P-ER1 S-AH0 N-IH0-N DH-AH0 P-EH1-R HH-AE1-Z G-AA1 T-AH0 K-L-AY0 T-AO1 R-IH0 S-AO1-R T-UW1 P-IY1 P-AH0-L


i suppose any people that meet that kind of criteria can do-

AY1 S-AH0 P-OW1 Z-EH1 N-IY0 P-IY1 P-AH0-L DH-AE1 T-M-IY1-T DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1-V K-R-AY0 T-IH1 R-IY0 AH0 K-AE1-N D-UW1


so everyone sort of goes into the room and then i somehow end up in the front row and-

S-OW1 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N S-AO1-R T-AH1-V G-OW1 Z-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 R-UW1 M-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-AY1 S-AH1-M HH-AW2 EH1-N D-AH1 P-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-R-AH1-N T-R-OW1 AH0-N-D


... they're going like this. and then she's like, "and we always use our special lubricant that we sell in our shop downstairs."

TH-EH1-R G-OW1 IH0 NG-L-AY1-K DH-IH1 S-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N SH-EH1 S-L-AY1 K-AH0-N D-W-IY1 AO1 L-W-EY2 Z-Y-UW1 Z-AW1 ER0-S P-EH1 SH-AH0-L L-UW1 B-R-AH0 K-AH0-N-T DH-AE1 T-W-IY1 S-EH1 L-IH0 N-AW1 ER0 SH-AA1-P D-AW1-N-S T-EH1-R-Z


and then he gets out of this big tub and-

AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N HH-IY1 G-EH1-T S-AW1 T-AH1-V DH-IH1-S B-IH1-G T-AH1 B-AH0-N-D


i can only describe this stuff as looking like lemon curd.

AY1 K-AE1 N-OW1 N-L-IY0 D-IH0-S K-R-AY1-B DH-IH1-S-S T-AH1 F-AE1 Z-L-UH1 K-IH0 NG-L-AY1 K-L-EH1 M-AH0-N K-ER1-D


and he sort of, then he then applies this to this woman's vulva. and then they start having an anatomical demonstration and she's lying back doing nothing, right?

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 S-AO1-R T-AH1-V DH-EH1-N HH-IY1 DH-EH1 N-AH0 P-L-AY1-Z DH-IH1-S T-UW1 DH-IH1 S-W-UH1 M-AH0-N-Z V-UH1-L V-AH0 AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N DH-EY1-S T-AA1-R-T HH-AE1 V-IH0 NG-AE1 N-AE2 N-AH0 T-AA1 M-AH0 K-AH0-L D-EH2 M-AH0-N-S T-R-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D SH-EH1 S-L-AY1 IH0-NG B-AE1-K D-UW1 IH0-NG N-AH1 TH-IH0 NG-R-AY1-T


while this is being done to her and they're spreading her apart so they're going-

W-AY1-L DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z B-IY1 IH0-NG D-AH1-N T-UW1 HH-ER0 AH0-N-D TH-EH1-R-S P-R-EH1 D-IH0-NG HH-ER0 AH0 P-AA1-R-T S-OW1 TH-EH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG


"this is the vagina. this is the anus." while she's lying there.

DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 V-AH0 JH-AY1 N-AH0 DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 EY1 N-AH0 S-W-AY1-L SH-EH1 S-L-AY1 IH0-NG DH-EH1-R


and then the practice starts, and this is where,

AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N DH-AH0 P-R-AE1-K T-AH0-S-S T-AA1-R-T S-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-W-EH1-R


he's, "so you've got all the lemon curd on her."

HH-IY1-Z S-OW1 Y-UW1-V G-AA1 T-AO1-L DH-AH0 L-EH1 M-AH0-N K-ER1 D-AA1-N HH-ER0


it's just a feather light touch, right? it's just a feather light touch.

IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-AH0 F-EH1 DH-ER0 L-AY1-T T-AH1 CH-R-AY1 T-IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-AH0 F-EH1 DH-ER0 L-AY1-T T-AH1-CH


there's people shouting out from all around me.

DH-EH1-R-Z P-IY1 P-AH0-L SH-AW1 T-IH0 NG-AW1-T F-R-AH1 M-AO1 L-ER0 AW1-N D-M-IY1


the lemon curd and all that stuff. it's just horrible. and i'm thinking it's only 20 minutes. it's only 20 minutes-

DH-AH0 L-EH1 M-AH0-N K-ER1 D-AH0-N D-AO1-L DH-AE1-T-S T-AH1 F-IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T HH-AO1 R-AH0 B-AH0 L-AH0-N D-AY1 AE1-M TH-IH1-NG K-IH0 NG-IH1-T S-OW1 N-L-IY0 T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-IH1-T S-OW1 N-L-IY0 T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 M-IH1 N-AH0-T-S


i can get through this and then it's going to be lunch and i can just leave and it'll be fine. and then it's two minutes-

AY1 K-AE1-N G-EH1-T TH-R-UW1 DH-IH1 S-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 L-AH1-N CH-AH0-N D-AY1 K-AE1-N JH-AH1-S T-L-IY1 V-AH0-N D-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IY1 F-AY1 N-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IH1-T-S T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T-S


before the end of the demonstration and the woman who's running the show-

B-IH0 F-AO1-R DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1-V DH-AH0 D-EH2 M-AH0-N-S T-R-EY1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 W-UH1 M-AH0-N HH-UW1 Z-R-AH1 N-IH0-NG DH-AH0 SH-OW1


so everyone has to say, everyone who hasn't actually contributed-

S-OW1 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N HH-AE1-Z T-UW1 S-EY1 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N HH-UW1 HH-AE1-S-N T-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 K-AH0-N T-R-IH1 B-Y-UW0 T-IH0-D


... an emotion has to say something and i'm right in the front row. and she says, "sariah." and i'm like, "pass."

AE1 N-IH0 M-OW1 SH-AH0-N HH-AE1-Z T-UW1 S-EY1 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-IH1 M-R-AY1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-R-AH1-N T-R-OW1 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 S-EH1-Z S-EH1 R-IY0 AH0 AH0-N D-IH1 M-L-AY1-K P-AE1-S


... and i can see you guys really enjoy it and stuff like that, but i'm just going to go home.

AH0-N D-AY1 K-AE1-N S-IY1 Y-UW1 G-AY1 Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 EH0-N JH-OY1 IH1 T-AH0-N-D-S T-AH1 F-L-AY1-K DH-AE1-T B-AH1 T-IH1-M JH-AH1-S-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-OW1 HH-OW1-M


she's she says, "come with me." and she grabs me by both my hands and she drags me upstairs. and i'm going to point out here at this point that i have asperger's syndrome.

SH-EH1-S SH-IY1 S-EH1-Z K-AH1 M-W-IH1 DH-M-IY1 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 G-R-AE1-B Z-M-IY1 B-AY1 B-OW1 TH-M-AY1 HH-AE1-N-D Z-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 D-R-AE1-G Z-M-IY1 AH0-P-S T-EH1-R Z-AH0-N D-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 P-OY1-N T-AW1-T HH-IY1 R-AE1-T DH-IH1-S P-OY1-N-T DH-AE1 T-AY1 HH-AE1 V-AE1-S P-ER0 JH-ER0-Z S-IH1-N D-R-OW2-M


i think what it shows is that i want to leave. and we have this conversation that goes back and forth where she's telling me that i need to stay for the rest of the day, "just at least stay for the rest of the day-

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-W-AH1 T-IH1-T SH-OW1 Z-IH1-Z DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 L-IY1 V-AH0-N D-W-IY1 HH-AE1-V DH-IH1-S K-AA2-N V-ER0 S-EY1 SH-AH0-N DH-AE1-T G-OW1-Z B-AE1 K-AH0-N-D F-AO1-R TH-W-EH1-R SH-EH1-S T-EH1 L-IH0-NG M-IY1 DH-AE1 T-AY1 N-IY1-D T-UW1-S T-EY1 F-AO1-R DH-AH0 R-EH1-S T-AH1-V DH-AH0 D-EY1 JH-AH1-S T-AE1 T-L-IY1-S-T-S T-EY1 F-AO1-R DH-AH0 R-EH1-S T-AH1-V DH-AH0 D-EY1


... really important. you wouldn't have been having this extreme reaction-

R-IH1 L-IY0 IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N T-Y-UW1 W-UH1 D-L-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V B-IH1-N HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG DH-IH1 S-IH0-K-S T-R-IY1 M-R-IY0 AE1-K SH-AH0-N


... incredibly opening for you." i think that she just talks about opening all the time.

IH0-N K-R-EH1 D-AH0 B-L-IY0 OW1 P-AH0 N-IH0-NG F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K DH-AE1-T SH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T T-AO1-K S-AH0 B-AW1 T-OW1 P-AH0 N-IH0 NG-AO1-L DH-AH0 T-AY1-M


we've got a room downstairs where you can sit just by yourself and you can get someone from the organization can come and sit with you if you want.

W-IY1-V G-AA1 T-AH0 R-UW1-M D-AW1-N-S T-EH1-R Z-W-EH1 R-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N S-IH1-T JH-AH1-S-T B-AY1 Y-ER0 S-EH1-L F-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N G-EH1-T S-AH1 M-W-AH2-N F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 AO2-R G-AH0 N-AH0 Z-EY1 SH-AH0-N K-AE1-N K-AH1 M-AH0-N-D S-IH1 T-W-IH1 DH-Y-UW1 IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T


and i'm thinking that sounds really, really good, actually. so i agree to this cup of tea and go into this room and she brings me the tea.

AH0-N D-IH1-M TH-IH1-NG K-IH0-NG DH-AE1-T S-AW1-N-D Z-R-IH1 L-IY0 R-IH1 L-IY0 G-UH1 D-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 S-OW1 AY1 AH0 G-R-IY1 T-UW1 DH-IH1-S K-AH1 P-AH1-V T-IY1 AH0-N-D G-OW1 IH0-N T-UW1 DH-IH1 S-R-UW1 M-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 B-R-IH1-NG Z-M-IY1 DH-AH0 T-IY1


and then this other woman from, a different woman from the organization, comes in and this is where i need a volunteer.

AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N DH-IH1 S-AH1 DH-ER0 W-UH1 M-AH0-N F-R-AH1 M-AH0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-W-UH1 M-AH0-N F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 AO2-R G-AH0 N-AH0 Z-EY1 SH-AH0-N K-AH1-M Z-IH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-W-EH1 R-AY1 N-IY1 D-AH0 V-AA2 L-AH0-N T-IH1-R


tear up. so i've got my cup of tea.

T-EH1 R-AH1-P S-OW1 AY1-V G-AA1 T-M-AY1 K-AH1 P-AH1-V T-IY1


start coming out with that, that sounds like no morals and all this stuff. and-

S-T-AA1-R-T K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-AW1 T-W-IH1-DH DH-AE1-T DH-AE1-T S-AW1-N-D Z-L-AY1 K-N-OW1 M-AO1 R-AH0-L Z-AH0-N D-AO1-L DH-IH1-S-S T-AH1 F-AH0-N-D


i just see this change go on in here and i think, oh god, she's going to let me go. and she starts actually talking about me leaving instead of talking about me being part of the organization-

AY1 JH-AH1-S-T S-IY1 DH-IH1-S CH-EY1-N-JH G-OW1 AA1 N-IH0-N HH-IY1 R-AH0-N D-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-OW1 G-AA1-D SH-EH1-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 L-EH1 T-M-IY1 G-OW1 AH0-N-D SH-IY1-S T-AA1-R-T S-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-IY1 L-IY1 V-IH0 NG-IH0-N-S T-EH1 D-AH1-V T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-IY1 B-IY1 IH0-NG P-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-AH0 AO2-R G-AH0 N-AH0 Z-EY1 SH-AH0-N


and i'm thinking this is going to be great, i'm going to get to go.

AH0-N D-IH1-M TH-IH1-NG K-IH0-NG DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 G-R-EY1 T-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 G-EH1-T T-UW1 G-OW1


but as we're walking down the street, i realize i've got to get back into that building and i've got to get my bag and then get out without meeting, running into any of the other three women-

B-AH1 T-AE1 Z-W-ER0 W-AO1 K-IH0-NG D-AW1-N DH-AH0-S T-R-IY1 T-AY1 R-IY1 L-AY2 Z-AY1-V G-AA1-T T-UW1 G-EH1-T B-AE1 K-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AE1-T B-IH1-L D-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-AY1-V G-AA1-T T-UW1 G-EH1 T-M-AY1 B-AE1 G-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N G-EH1 T-AW1 T-W-IH0 TH-AW1 T-M-IY1 T-IH0 NG-R-AH1 N-IH0 NG-IH0-N T-UW1 EH1 N-IY0 AH1-V DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 TH-R-IY1 W-IH1 M-AH0-N


he so wanted me to stay, but i do actually manage to get in there and i managed to get my bag and i managed to leave.

HH-IY1 S-OW1 W-AA1-N T-AH0 D-M-IY1 T-UW1-S T-EY1 B-AH1 T-AY1 D-UW1 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 M-AE1 N-AH0-JH T-UW1 G-EH1 T-IH0-N DH-EH1 R-AH0-N D-AY1 M-AE1 N-AH0-JH-D T-UW1 G-EH1 T-M-AY1 B-AE1 G-AH0-N D-AY1 M-AE1 N-AH0-JH-D T-UW1 L-IY1-V


... afterwards for the weeks. and i think i last actually heard from them about sort of three months ago. and this initial sort of incident happened about two years ago.

AE1-F T-ER0 W-ER0-D-Z F-AO1-R DH-AH0 W-IY1-K S-AH0-N D-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-AY1 L-AE1-S T-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 HH-ER1-D F-R-AH1-M DH-EH1 M-AH0 B-AW1-T S-AO1-R T-AH1-V TH-R-IY1 M-AH1-N-TH S-AH0 G-OW1 AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-IH0 N-IH1 SH-AH0-L S-AO1-R T-AH1 V-IH1-N S-AH0 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1 P-AH0-N D-AH0 B-AW1-T T-UW1 Y-IH1-R Z-AH0 G-OW1


and i just keep on saying to them, "just fucking stop calling me-

AH0-N D-AY1 JH-AH1-S-T K-IY1 P-AA1-N S-EY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 DH-EH1-M JH-AH1-S-T F-AH1 K-IH0-NG-S T-AA1-P K-AO1 L-IH0-NG M-IY1


... delete my phone number." and that kind of thing. but they just keep on calling me constantly.

D-IH0 L-IY1 T-M-AY1 F-OW1-N N-AH1-M B-ER0 AH0-N-D DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1-V TH-IH1-NG B-AH1-T DH-EY1 JH-AH1-S-T K-IY1 P-AA1-N K-AO1 L-IH0-NG M-IY1 K-AA1-N-S T-AH0-N T-L-IY0


and this all made me reflect upon-

AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-AO1-L M-EY1 D-M-IY1 R-AH0 F-L-EH1-K T-AH0 P-AA1-N


but what actually happened there was that they said to me, we've got this thing that will change your life.

B-AH1 T-W-AH1 T-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 HH-AE1 P-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 R-W-AA1-Z DH-AE1-T DH-EY1 S-EH1-D T-UW1 M-IY1 W-IY1-V G-AA1-T DH-IH1-S TH-IH1-NG DH-AE1 T-W-IH1-L CH-EY1-N JH-Y-AO1-R L-AY1-F


we've got this amazing thing and it'll make you a totally different person. and i actually said, "i don't want it-

W-IY1-V G-AA1-T DH-IH1 S-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG TH-IH1 NG-AH0-N D-IH1 T-AH0-L M-EY1 K-Y-UW1 AH0 T-OW1 T-AH0 L-IY0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T P-ER1 S-AH0 N-AH0-N D-AY1 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 S-EH1 D-AY1 D-AA1-N T-W-AA1-N T-IH1-T


and they'd never really answered that outright. they don't care as long as i take care of their boner.

AH0-N-D TH-IY1 D-N-EH1 V-ER0 R-IH1 L-IY0 AE1-N S-ER0-D DH-AE1 T-AW1 T-R-AY1-T DH-EY1 D-AA1-N-T K-EH1 R-AE1 Z-L-AO1 NG-AE1 Z-AY1 T-EY1-K K-EH1 R-AH1-V DH-EH1-R B-OW1 N-ER0


so i don't get emotionally involved in that way.

S-OW1 AY1 D-AA1-N-T G-EH1 T-IH0 M-OW1 SH-N-AH0 L-IY0 IH0-N V-AA1-L-V D-IH0-N DH-AE1 T-W-EY1


losing my job for. there was no client.

L-UW1 Z-IH0-NG M-AY1 JH-AA1-B F-AO1-R DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-N-OW1 K-L-AY1 AH0-N-T


but it's a service job. it's work.

B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-AH0 S-ER1 V-AH0-S JH-AA1 B-IH1-T S-W-ER1-K


it's a service profession. and how many people here have worked in restaurants? have done restaurant service, bar service?

IH1-T S-AH0 S-ER1 V-AH0-S P-R-AH0 F-EH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-N-D HH-AW1 M-EH1 N-IY0 P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-IY1-R HH-AE1 V-W-ER1-K T-IH0 N-R-EH1-S T-ER0 AA2-N-T-S HH-AE1-V D-AH1 N-R-EH1-S T-ER0 AA2-N-T S-ER1 V-AH0-S B-AA1-R S-ER1 V-AH0-S


come into your section, right? you know that they're going to be nice-

K-AH1 M-IH0-N T-UW1 Y-AO1-R S-EH1-K SH-AH0 N-R-AY1 T-Y-UW1 N-OW1 DH-AE1-T TH-EH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 N-AY1-S


... and they're going to be pleasant. and they're not going to make difficulties for you. and in the states-

AH0-N-D TH-EH1-R G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 P-L-EH1 Z-AH0-N T-AH0-N-D TH-EH1-R N-AA1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 M-EY1-K D-IH1 F-AH0 K-AH0-L T-IY0-Z F-AO1 R-Y-UW1 AH0-N D-IH0-N DH-AH0-S T-EY1-T-S


... they tip, so here that's not so much a thing, but in the states-

DH-EY1 T-IH1-P S-OW1 HH-IY1-R TH-AE1-T S-N-AA1-T S-OW1 M-AH1 CH-AH0 TH-IH1-NG B-AH1 T-IH0-N DH-AH0-S T-EY1-T-S


... in general and they always order gross things that you don't even want touch when you bring it out to the table-

IH0-N JH-EH1 N-ER0 AH0 L-AH0-N-D DH-EY1 AO1 L-W-EY2 Z-AO1-R D-ER0 G-R-OW1-S TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-IY1 V-IH0 N-W-AA1-N-T T-AH1 CH-W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 B-R-IH1 NG-IH1 T-AW1-T T-UW1 DH-AH0 T-EY1 B-AH0-L


... so there was regulars, right? so those regulars fuck them-

S-OW1 DH-EH1 R-W-AA1 Z-R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0 Z-R-AY1-T S-OW1 DH-OW1 Z-R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0-Z F-AH1-K DH-EH1-M


i'm a professional but there are regulars who i like. there are definitely regulars who i like.

IH1 M-AH0 P-R-AH0 F-EH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-L B-AH1-T DH-EH1 R-AA1-R R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0-Z HH-UW1 AY1 L-AY1-K DH-EH1 R-AA1-R D-EH1 F-AH0 N-AH0 T-L-IY0 R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0-Z HH-UW1 AY1 L-AY1-K


i want to tell you tonight about one regular. his name is larry and i first met larry-

AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 T-AH0 N-AY1 T-AH0 B-AW1 T-W-AH1 N-R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0 HH-IH1 Z-N-EY1 M-IH1 Z-L-EH1 R-IY0 AH0-N D-AY1 F-ER1-S T-M-EH1 T-L-EH1 R-IY0


but i first got introduced to larry, he ordered a 10 minute package of time-

B-AH1 T-AY1 F-ER1-S-T G-AA1 T-IH2-N T-R-AH0 D-UW1-S-T T-UW1 L-EH1 R-IY0 HH-IY1 AO1-R D-ER0 D-AH0 T-EH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T P-AE1 K-AH0 JH-AH1-V T-AY1-M


he was completely non-denomination about his tastes-

HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z K-AH0-M P-L-IY1 T-L-IY0 N-AA2-N D-IH0 M-AH0-N SH-EY1 N-AH0-N T-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IH1-Z T-EY1-S-T-S


he didn't care, as long as it involved dirty words. and really dirty words-

HH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T K-EH1 R-AE1 Z-L-AO1 NG-AE1 Z-IH1 T-IH0-N V-AA1-L-V-D D-ER1 T-IY0 W-ER1-D Z-AH0-N D-R-IH1 L-IY0 D-ER1 T-IY0 W-ER1-D-Z


all i could for minutes, and then suddenly he starts talking about gardening-

AO1 L-AY1 K-UH1-D F-AO1-R M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N S-AH1 D-AH0 N-L-IY0 HH-IY1-S T-AA1-R-T-S T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-IH0-NG


and he starts talking about how well the rhododendrons were doing this year.

AH0-N-D HH-IY1-S T-AA1-R-T-S T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-AW1 W-EH1-L DH-AH0 R-OW0 D-OW0 D-EH1 N-R-AH0-N Z-W-ER0 D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1-R


and i'm going along. i'm like, "okay-

AH0-N D-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0 NG-AH0 L-AO1 NG-IH1 M-L-AY1 K-OW2 K-EY1


and this is part of the deal, right? with phone sex, professional phone sex-

AH0-N-D DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z P-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-AH0 D-IY1-L R-AY1 T-W-IH1-DH F-OW1-N S-EH1-K-S P-R-AH0 F-EH1 SH-AH0 N-AH0-L F-OW1-N S-EH1-K-S


... is a lot of guys, they tend to jump tracks-

IH1 Z-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V G-AY1-Z DH-EY1 T-EH1-N-D T-UW1 JH-AH1-M-P T-R-AE1-K-S


i think it's partly the add brought on by the internet-

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-T-S P-AA1-R T-L-IY0 DH-AH0 AE1-D B-R-AO1 T-AA1-N B-AY1 DH-AH0 IH1-N T-ER0 N-EH2-T


you can have 20 screens open and they can be clicking through and getting ideas from all of them-

Y-UW1 K-AE1-N HH-AE1-V T-W-EH1-N T-IY0-S K-R-IY1-N Z-OW1 P-AH0 N-AH0-N-D DH-EY1 K-AE1-N B-IY1 K-L-IH1 K-IH0-NG TH-R-UW1 AH0-N-D G-EH1 T-IH0 NG-AY0 D-IY1 AH0-Z F-R-AH1 M-AO1 L-AH1-V DH-EH1-M


so i've learned to be able to keep up. if they start talking about roses-

S-OW1 AY1 V-L-ER1 N-IH0-D T-UW1 B-IY1 EY1 B-AH0-L T-UW1 K-IY1 P-AH1 P-IH1-F DH-EY1-S T-AA1-R-T T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-R-OW1 Z-IH0-Z


... i will downshift and i will start talking about roses.

AY1 W-IH1-L D-AW1-N SH-IH2-F T-AH0-N D-AY1 W-IH1-L-S T-AA1-R-T T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-R-OW1 Z-IH0-Z


so he's talking about his-

S-OW1 HH-IY1-Z T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IH1-Z


... he's talking about his roses and his rhododendrons. this is alabama-

HH-IY1-Z T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IH1 Z-R-OW1 Z-IH0 Z-AH0-N-D HH-IH1 Z-R-OW0 D-OW0 D-EH1 N-R-AH0-N-Z DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AE2 L-AH0 B-AE1 M-AH0


and about two minutes before the end of the call-

AH0-N D-AH0 B-AW1-T T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T-S B-IH0 F-AO1-R DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1-V DH-AH0 K-AO1-L


i'm keeping an eye on the time, right? he says-

IH1-M K-IY1 P-IH0 NG-AE1 N-AY1 AA1-N DH-AH0 T-AY1 M-R-AY1-T HH-IY1 S-EH1-Z


i say, "well, larry, i have to let you know, we have about two minutes left-

AY1 S-EY1 W-EH1-L L-EH1 R-IY0 AY1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 L-EH1 T-Y-UW1 N-OW1 W-IY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 B-AW1-T T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-L-EH1-F-T


... did you want to come today?" and he said-

D-IH1 D-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 K-AH1-M T-AH0 D-EY1 AH0-N-D HH-IY1 S-EH1-D


they're not keeping track of time, right? "do you want to come today?" and he said-

TH-EH1-R N-AA1-T K-IY1 P-IH0-NG T-R-AE1 K-AH1-V T-AY1 M-R-AY1-T D-UW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 K-AH1-M T-AH0 D-EY1 AH0-N-D HH-IY1 S-EH1-D


"oh sweetheart. i came eight minutes ago. this is great. this is just great. we're-

OW1 S-W-IY1-T HH-AA2-R T-AY1 K-EY1 M-EY1 T-M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0 G-OW1 DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z G-R-EY1-T DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z JH-AH1-S-T G-R-EY1 T-W-ER0


... just talking, right?" and so this-

JH-AH1-S-T T-AO1 K-IH0 NG-R-AY1 T-AH0-N-D S-OW1 DH-IH1-S


... was what he wanted to do. this was his deal. so i had him-

W-AA1 Z-W-AH1-T HH-IY1 W-AA1-N T-AH0-D T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-IH1 S-W-AA1-Z HH-IH1-Z D-IY1-L S-OW1 AY1 HH-AE1-D HH-IH1-M


so a minute of filth-

S-OW1 AH0 M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH1-V F-IH1-L-TH


... and nine minutes of gardening. and-

AH0-N D-N-AY1-N M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH1-V G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D


you have to admire that kind of dedication to a hobby-

Y-UW1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 AE0 D-M-AY1-R DH-AE1-T K-AY1-N D-AH1-V D-EH2 D-AH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0-N T-UW1 AH0 HH-AA1 B-IY0


so we would talk about the state of his garden. and he told me about his wife, how she just didn't want to do sex anymore.

S-OW1 W-IY1 W-UH1-D T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AH0-S T-EY1 T-AH1-V HH-IH1-Z G-AA1-R D-AH0 N-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IH1 Z-W-AY1-F HH-AW1 SH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 D-UW1 S-EH1-K S-EH2 N-IY0 M-AO1-R


and he was an old man. he was an old man. he was-

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1 N-OW1-L D-M-AE1-N HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1 N-OW1-L D-M-AE1-N HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z


... i think he said he was 67, 68. she just didn't want to do it anymore.

AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K HH-IY1 S-EH1-D HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z S-IH1-K-S T-IY0 S-EH1 V-AH0-N S-IH1-K-S T-IY0 EY1-T SH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 D-UW1 IH1 T-EH2 N-IY0 M-AO1-R


he just had needs and urges. and i asked if she knew about him calling and he said-

HH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T HH-AE1 D-N-IY1-D Z-AH0-N D-ER1 JH-AH0 Z-AH0-N D-AY1 AE1-S-K T-IH1-F SH-IY1 N-UW1 AH0 B-AW1-T HH-IH1-M K-AO1 L-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 S-EH1-D


.. you know, it's just, she doesn't want me bothering her anymore-

Y-UW1 N-OW1 IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T SH-IY1 D-OW1 S-AH0-N T-W-AA1-N T-M-IY1 B-AA1 DH-ER0 IH0-NG HH-ER0 EH2 N-IY0 M-AO1-R


but he's an old man and he had medical problems-

B-AH1-T HH-IY1 Z-AE1 N-OW1-L D-M-AE1 N-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 HH-AE1 D-M-EH1 D-AH0 K-AH0-L P-R-AA1 B-L-AH0-M-Z


... go see a cute little massage therapist down the there. and she was so cute and everything-

G-OW1 S-IY1 AH0 K-Y-UW1 T-L-IH1 T-AH0-L M-AH0 S-AA1-ZH TH-EH1 R-AH0 P-AH0-S-T D-AW1-N DH-AH0 DH-EH1 R-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z S-OW1 K-Y-UW1 T-AH0-N D-EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2-NG


she never did anything with him, but she was cute. so we talked about this and he would talk about whatever flowers were happening, it was flowers-

SH-IY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 D-IH1 D-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-W-IH1-DH HH-IH1-M B-AH1-T SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z K-Y-UW1-T S-OW1 W-IY1 T-AO1-K T-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-IH1 S-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-UH1-D T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1 T-W-AH2 T-EH1 V-ER0 F-L-AW1 ER0 Z-W-ER0 HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0 NG-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z F-L-AW1 ER0-Z


it wasn't vegetables, it was flowers. and he would talk about how, occasionally he'd veer into dirty territory again, how he'd love to see me weeding naked. pulling weeds naked, getting down-

IH1 T-W-AO1-S-T V-EH1-JH T-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z F-L-AW1 ER0 Z-AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-UH1-D T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T HH-AW1 AH0 K-EY1 ZH-AH0 N-AH0 L-IY0 HH-EH1-D V-IH1 R-IH0-N T-UW1 D-ER1 T-IY0 T-EH1 R-IH0 T-AO2 R-IY0 AH0 G-EH1-N HH-AW1 HH-EH1 D-L-AH1-V T-UW1 S-IY1 M-IY1 W-IY1 D-IH0-NG N-EY1 K-AH0-D P-UH1 L-IH0 NG-W-IY1-D Z-N-EY1 K-AH0-D G-EH1 T-IH0-NG D-AW1-N


so i do get emotionally involved. i can't afford-

S-OW1 AY1 D-UW1 G-EH1 T-IH0 M-OW1 SH-N-AH0 L-IY0 IH0-N V-AA1-L-V D-AY1 K-AE1-N T-AH0 F-AO1-R-D


...to think about it too much, but i do get emotionally involved. and just because i take money for it doesn't mean it hurts any less-

T-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T T-UW1 M-AH1-CH B-AH1 T-AY1 D-UW1 G-EH1 T-IH0 M-OW1 SH-N-AH0 L-IY0 IH0-N V-AA1-L-V D-AH0-N-D JH-AH1-S-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 T-EY1 K-M-AH1 N-IY0 F-AO1 R-IH1-T D-OW1 S-AH0-N T-M-IY1 N-IH1-T HH-ER1-T S-EH1 N-IY0 L-EH1-S


actually. so you're getting two of my favorite storytellers to here on the stage, bridey lee-

AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 S-OW1 Y-UH1-R G-EH1 T-IH0-NG T-UW1 AH1 V-M-AY1 F-EY1 V-ER0 IH0-T-S T-AO1 R-IY0 T-EH2 L-ER0-Z T-UW1 HH-IY1 R-AA1-N DH-AH0-S T-EY1-JH B-R-AY1 D-IY0 L-IY1


i believe she's going to be doing it in a different form in the future.

AY1 B-IH0 L-IY1-V SH-EH1-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 D-UW1 IH0 NG-IH1 T-IH0 N-AH0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T F-AO1-R M-IH0-N DH-AH0 F-Y-UW1 CH-ER0


so you should definitely look out for that and that's given away her name, so-

S-OW1 Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D D-EH1 F-AH0 N-AH0 T-L-IY0 L-UH1 K-AW1-T F-AO1-R DH-AE1 T-AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T-S G-IH1 V-AH0 N-AH0 W-EY1 HH-ER0 N-EY1-M S-OW1


fall. this was love.


i drank a latte, frothy, by which i mean-

AY1 D-R-AE1-NG K-AH0 L-AA1 T-EY2 F-R-AO1 TH-IY0 B-AY1 W-IH1 CH-AY1 M-IY1-N


...he never did. he just bent down and picked up his leather backpack.

HH-IY1 N-EH1 V-ER0 D-IH1-D HH-IY1 JH-AH1-S-T B-EH1-N-T D-AW1 N-AH0-N-D P-IH1-K T-AH1-P HH-IH1 Z-L-EH1 DH-ER0 B-AE1-K P-AE2-K


he kissed me on both cheeks. then held my face in his hands and said-

HH-IY1 K-IH1-S T-M-IY1 AA1-N B-OW1-TH CH-IY1-K-S DH-EH1-N HH-EH1-L D-M-AY1 F-EY1 S-IH0-N HH-IH1-Z HH-AE1-N-D Z-AH0-N-D S-EH1-D


..."you look the same, bella."

Y-UW1 L-UH1-K DH-AH0 S-EY1-M B-EH1 L-AH0


"so do you, ang"


i didn't see justin again for five years.

AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T S-IY1 JH-AH1-S T-AH0 N-AH0 G-EH1-N F-AO1-R F-AY1 V-Y-IH1-R-Z


when i was 24-

W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 F-AO1-R


...and he was an angel-

AH0-N-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AE1 N-EY1-N JH-AH0-L


...well he looked like an angel-

W-EH1-L HH-IY1 L-UH1-K T-L-AY1 K-AE1 N-EY1-N JH-AH0-L


...actually, he didn't, he looked like an fbi special agent, specifically fbi special agent seeley booth from the police procedural-

AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 HH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-IY1 L-UH1-K T-L-AY1 K-AE1-N B-AY1-S P-EH1 SH-AH0 L-EY1 JH-AH0-N-T-S P-AH0 S-IH1 F-IH0 K-L-IY0 B-AY1-S P-EH1 SH-AH0 L-EY1 JH-AH0-N-T S-IY1 L-IY0 B-UW1-TH F-R-AH1-M DH-AH0 P-AH0 L-IY1-S P-R-AH0 S-IY1 JH-ER0 AH0-L


...bones, played by an older, worn david boreanaz. if you took angel out on a 10 year-

B-OW1-N-Z P-L-EY1-D B-AY1 AE1 N-OW1-L D-ER0 W-AO1-R-N D-EY1 V-IH0-D B-AO0 R-IY1 N-AH0 Z-IH1 F-Y-UW1 T-UH1 K-EY1-N JH-AH0 L-AW1 T-AA1 N-AH0 T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R


...bender, then dropped him off at a crime scene, and asked him to quit-

B-EH1-N D-ER0 DH-EH1-N D-R-AA1-P-T HH-IH1 M-AO1 F-AE1 T-AH0 K-R-AY1-M S-IY1 N-AH0-N D-AE1-S-K-T HH-IH1-M T-UW1 K-W-IH1-T


...i didn't remember.


"at the time i ran into you at uni, well, i was going to say it then, but you seemed so,-"

AE1-T DH-AH0 T-AY1 M-AY1 R-AE1 N-IH0-N T-UW1 Y-UW1 AE1 T-Y-UW1 N-IY0 W-EH1 L-AY1 W-AA1-Z G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 S-EY1 IH1-T DH-EH1-N B-AH1 T-Y-UW1 S-IY1-M-D S-OW1


..."not to be a stickler, justin, but we've already had sex."

N-AA1-T T-UW1 B-IY1 AH0-S T-IH1 K-AH0 L-ER0 JH-AH1-S T-AH0-N B-AH1 T-W-IY1 V-AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 HH-AE1-D S-EH1-K-S


"no, buddy, we haven't."

N-OW1 B-AH1 D-IY0 W-IY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0-N-T


..."you didn't." "you came over that-"

Y-UW1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-Y-UW1 K-EY1 M-OW1 V-ER0 DH-AE1-T


... "[inaudible 00:01:55] we've done it now. and it was great. i feel kind of relieved-"

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0 Z-W-AH1-N M-IH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 F-AY1-V S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-W-IY1-V D-AH1 N-IH1 T-N-AW1 AH0-N D-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z G-R-EY1 T-AY1 F-IY1-L K-AY1-N D-AH1 V-R-IH0 L-IY1-V-D


..."just felt so embarrassed about that night, because you try to do-" i sank back into the pillow and tried to tune him out. i've been telling this story for 10 years-

JH-AH1-S-T F-EH1-L-T S-OW1 IH0-M B-EH1 R-AH0-S T-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1 T-N-AY1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-Y-UW1 T-R-AY1 T-UW1 D-UW1 AY1 S-AE1-NG-K B-AE1 K-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 P-IH1 L-OW0 AH0-N-D T-R-AY1-D T-UW1 T-UW1-N HH-IH1 M-AW1 T-AY1-V B-IH1-N T-EH1 L-IH0-NG DH-IH1-S-S T-AO1 R-IY0 F-AO1-R T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R-Z


...it wasn't even true. the guy i lost my virginity to was the ne-

IH1 T-W-AO1-S T-IY1 V-IH0-N T-R-UW1 DH-AH0 G-AY1 AY1 L-AO1-S T-M-AY1 V-ER0 JH-IH1 N-IH0 T-IY0 T-UW1 W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 N-IY1


...tom. god, he was insignificant. this guy, the one beside me, or at least his past selves, which i had apparently-

T-AA1-M G-AA1-D HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-IH2-N S-IH0 G-N-Y-IH1 F-IH0 K-AH0-N-T DH-IH1-S G-AY1 DH-AH0 W-AH1-N B-IH0 S-AY1 D-M-IY1 AO1 R-AE1 T-L-IY1-S-T HH-IH1-Z P-AE1-S-T S-EH1-L-V Z-W-IH1 CH-AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0 P-EH1 R-AH0-N T-L-IY0


...invented, was the significant one. the one that got away, not the one who couldn't get it in.

IH0-N V-EH1-N T-AH0 D-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 S-AH0 G-N-IH1 F-IH0 K-AH0-N T-W-AH1-N DH-AH0 W-AH1-N DH-AE1-T G-AA1 T-AH0 W-EY1 N-AA1-T DH-AH0 W-AH1-N HH-UW1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N-T G-EH1 T-IH1 T-IH0-N


"i know this is quick, but i really feel like we might have something here."

AY1 N-OW1 DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z K-W-IH1-K B-AH1 T-AY1 R-IH1 L-IY0 F-IY1-L L-AY1 K-W-IY1 M-AY1-T HH-AE1-V S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG HH-IY1-R


"hey, in another sense, this has been 10 years coming, right?"

HH-EY1 IH0 N-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 S-EH1-N-S DH-IH1-S HH-AE1-Z B-IH1-N T-EH1 N-Y-IH1-R-Z K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-R-AY1-T


"let's go to sleep, hey?"


i waited until he was snoring, and i slid out of bed. i gathered up my clothes, dressed as quickly as i could, and then finding his front door deadlocked, i opened his bedroom window slid through it, and sprinted into the night.

AY1 W-EY1 T-AH0 D-AH0-N T-IH1-L HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z S-N-AO1 R-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-AY1 S-L-IH1 D-AW1 T-AH1-V B-EH1 D-AY1 G-AE1 DH-ER0 D-AH1 P-M-AY1 K-L-OW1-DH-Z D-R-EH1-S T-AE1-Z K-W-IH1 K-L-IY0 AE1 Z-AY1 K-UH1 D-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N F-AY1-N D-IH0-NG HH-IH1-Z F-R-AH1-N-T D-AO1-R D-EH1 D-L-AA2-K T-AY1 OW1 P-AH0-N-D HH-IH1-Z B-EH1 D-R-UW2 M-W-IH1-N D-OW0 S-L-IH1-D TH-R-UW1 IH1 T-AH0-N-D-S P-R-IH1-N T-IH0 D-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 N-AY1-T


as i waited to hail a cab. one thought emerged inside to bang itself against the front of my head.

AE1 Z-AY1 W-EY1 T-AH0-D T-UW1 HH-EY1 L-AH0 K-AE1 B-W-AH1-N TH-AO1 T-IH0 M-ER1-JH D-IH0-N S-AY1-D T-UW1 B-AE1 NG-IH0-T S-EH1-L F-AH0 G-EH1-N-S-T DH-AH0 F-R-AH1-N T-AH1 V-M-AY1 HH-EH1-D


"i have got to leave sydney."

AY1 HH-AE1-V G-AA1-T T-UW1 L-IY1-V S-IH1 D-N-IY0


and i did.


bought a one way ticket, and i flew to london.

B-AA1 T-AH0 W-AH1 N-W-EY1 T-IH1 K-AH0 T-AH0-N D-AY1 F-L-UW1 T-UW1 L-AH1-N D-AH0-N


when you don't give people the words, they don't sing along. and then it's just me singing. however, none of the plugs there worked tonight.

W-EH1 N-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T G-IH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0-L DH-AH0 W-ER1-D-Z DH-EY1 D-AA1-N-T S-IH1 NG-AH0 L-AO1 NG-AH0-N-D DH-EH1 N-IH1-T-S JH-AH1-S T-M-IY1 S-IH1 NG-IH0-NG HH-AW2 EH1 V-ER0 N-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 P-L-AH1-G-Z DH-EH1 R-W-ER1-K-T T-AH0 N-AY1-T


...powerpoints on the desktop is called, "let's talk about-"

P-AW1 ER0 P-OY2-N-T S-AA1-N DH-AH0 D-EH1-S-K T-AA2 P-IH1-Z K-AO1-L D-L-EH1-T-S T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T


right. so who knows this song?

R-AY1-T S-OW1 HH-UW1 N-OW1-Z DH-IH1-S S-AO1-NG


there wasn't that many people, we're going to have to really do it tonight. we can try it-

DH-EH1 R-W-AO1-S-T DH-AE1 T-M-EH1 N-IY0 P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 R-IH1 L-IY0 D-UW1 IH1-T T-AH0 N-AY1 T-W-IY1 K-AE1-N T-R-AY1 IH1-T


...without the words. i might want to look at the screen.

W-IH0 TH-AW1-T DH-AH0 W-ER1-D Z-AY1 M-AY1 T-W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 L-UH1 K-AE1-T DH-AH0-S K-R-IY1-N


the purpose of this is to be ridiculous. and so i guess that's what we're going to be. do you want to cue up the music?

DH-AH0 P-ER1 P-AH0 S-AH1-V DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z T-UW1 B-IY1 R-IH0 D-IH1 K-Y-AH0 L-AH0 S-AH0-N-D S-OW1 AY1 G-EH1-S TH-AE1-T S-W-AH1 T-W-ER0 G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 D-UW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 K-Y-UW1 AH1-P DH-AH0 M-Y-UW1 Z-IH0-K


we're like a smoothly oiled machine. so-

W-ER0 L-AY1 K-AH0 S-M-UW1 DH-L-IY0 OY1-L D-M-AH0 SH-IY1-N S-OW1


...friend us on facebook, check out the events for more details. if you want to stay and drink, we've got a lot-

F-R-EH1-N D-AH1 S-AA1-N F-EY1-S B-UH2-K CH-EH1 K-AW1-T DH-AH0 IH0 V-EH1-N-T-S F-AO1-R M-AO1-R D-IH0 T-EY1-L Z-IH1 F-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1-S T-EY1 AH0-N-D D-R-IH1-NG K-W-IY1-V G-AA1 T-AH0 L-AA1-T


being thrown out. but because i didn't feel like a woman. and i wondered if anyone saw me walk through that door, they'd automatically assume things, they probably would anyway-

B-IY1 IH0-NG TH-R-OW1 N-AW1-T B-AH1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T F-IY1-L L-AY1 K-AH0 W-UH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-N D-AY1 W-AH1-N D-ER0 D-IH1 F-EH1 N-IY0 W-AH2-N S-AO1 M-IY1 W-AO1-K TH-R-UW1 DH-AE1-T D-AO1-R TH-IY1 D-AO2 T-AH0 M-AE1 T-IH0 K-L-IY0 AH0 S-UW1-M TH-IH1-NG-Z DH-EY1 P-R-AA1 B-AH0 B-L-IY0 W-UH1 D-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


...but i was confirming it by walking through that door.

B-AH1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z K-AH0-N F-ER1 M-IH0 NG-IH1-T B-AY1 W-AO1 K-IH0-NG TH-R-UW1 DH-AE1-T D-AO1-R


now, i was cringing, because i was truly scared i'd upset someone for being in there.

N-AW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z K-R-IH1-N JH-IH0-NG B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 W-AA1-Z T-R-UW1 L-IY0-S K-EH1-R D-IH1 D-AH1-P S-EH2-T S-AH1 M-W-AH2-N F-AO1-R B-IY1 IH0 NG-IH0-N DH-EH1-R


i hated being called, 'sir.' i also hated being called 'madam.'.

AY1 HH-EY1 T-AH0-D B-IY1 IH0-NG K-AO1-L-D S-ER1 AY1 AO1-L S-OW0 HH-EY1 T-AH0-D B-IY1 IH0-NG K-AO1-L D-M-AE1 D-AH0-M


i wished with all my heart that people would stop assuming, stop putting their concept of my identity in my mouth forcefully.

AY1 W-IH1-SH T-W-IH1 DH-AO1-L M-AY1 HH-AA1-R-T DH-AE1-T P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-UH1-D-S T-AA1 P-AH0 S-UW1 M-IH0-NG-S T-AA1-P P-AH1 T-IH0-NG DH-EH1-R K-AA1-N S-EH0-P T-AH1 V-M-AY1 AY0 D-EH1-N T-AH0 T-IY0 IH0-N M-AY1 M-AW1-DH F-AO1-R-S F-AH0 L-IY0


if i just nod and go with it, am i doing it selfishly-

IH1 F-AY1 JH-AH1-S T-N-AA1 D-AH0-N-D G-OW1 W-IH1 DH-IH1 T-AE1 M-AY1 D-UW1 IH0 NG-IH1-T S-EH1-L F-IH0 SH-L-IY0


...to not start a spark of q and a fuel fire? if i spoke out, corrected them-

T-UW1 N-AA1-T-S T-AA1-R T-AH0-S P-AA1-R K-AH1-V K-Y-UW1 AH0-N D-AH0 F-Y-UW1 AH0-L F-AY1 ER0 IH1 F-AY1-S P-OW1 K-AW1-T K-ER0 EH1-K T-AH0-D DH-EH1-M


...each time, would i be helping others like me in the conquest?

IY1-CH T-AY1 M-W-UH1 D-AY1 B-IY1 HH-EH1-L P-IH0 NG-AH1 DH-ER0 Z-L-AY1 K-M-IY1 IH0-N DH-AH0 K-AA1-NG K-W-EH0-S-T


to not think of every time i'm called pretty and not handsome? to not think about anything at all really? but i have a fucking encyclopedia for a brain, and that doesn't help.

T-UW1 N-AA1-T TH-IH1-NG K-AH1 V-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 T-AY1 M-IH1-M K-AO1-L-D P-R-IH1 T-IY0 AH0-N D-N-AA1-T HH-AE1-N S-AH0-M T-UW1 N-AA1-T TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1 T-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-AE1 T-AO1-L R-IH1 L-IY0 B-AH1 T-AY1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 F-AH1 K-IH0 NG-IH0-N S-AY2 K-L-AH0 P-IY1 D-IY0 AH0 F-AO1 R-AH0 B-R-EY1 N-AH0-N-D DH-AE1-T D-OW1 S-AH0-N-T HH-EH1-L-P


i've seen there's some dialogue going on. first thing to check, are they speaking with a mouthful? because-

AY1-V S-IY1-N DH-EH1-R-Z S-AH1-M D-AY1 AH0 L-AO2-G G-OW1 IH0 NG-AA1-N F-ER1-S-T TH-IH1-NG T-UW1 CH-EH1 K-AA1-R DH-EY1-S P-IY1 K-IH0 NG-W-IH1 DH-AH0 M-AW1-TH F-UH2-L B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


...and i'm totally okay with that. thank you.

AH0-N D-IH1-M T-OW1 T-AH0 L-IY0 OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1-DH DH-AE1-T TH-AE1-NG K-Y-UW1


so one of the reasons i'm doing this section about tragic bodies. it's because i'm making a show about my body. and one thing about my body is i'm fat.

S-OW1 W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 R-IY1 Z-AH0-N Z-IH1-M D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1-S S-EH1-K SH-AH0 N-AH0 B-AW1-T T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K B-AA1 D-IY0 Z-IH1-T-S B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1-M M-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 B-AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N D-W-AH1-N TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 B-AA1 D-IY0 IH1 Z-IH1-M F-AE1-T


now, just to point out, the little bit-

N-AW1 JH-AH1-S-T T-UW1 P-OY1-N T-AW1-T DH-AH0 L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IH1-T


...i'm going to do now is about explaining what it's like to be fat. and if you are fat-

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 N-AW1 IH1 Z-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH0-K-S P-L-EY1 N-IH0 NG-W-AH1 T-IH1-T S-L-AY1-K T-UW1 B-IY1 F-AE1 T-AH0-N D-IH1 F-Y-UW1 AA1-R F-AE1-T


..."well, i already know this, why are you explaining this to me?"

W-EH1 L-AY1 AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 N-OW1 DH-IH1 S-W-AY1 AA1 R-Y-UW1 IH0-K-S P-L-EY1 N-IH0-NG DH-IH1-S T-UW1 M-IY1


it's almost as if i'm some second rate human being. but if you're fat, you're used to that.

IH1-T S-AO1-L M-OW2-S T-AE1 Z-IH1 F-IH1-M S-AH1-M S-EH1 K-AH0-N D-R-EY1-T HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0-N B-IY1 IH0-NG B-AH1 T-IH1 F-Y-UH1-R F-AE1 T-Y-UH1 R-Y-UW1-Z-D T-UW1 DH-AE1-T


and i'm fat, this is how fat i am. one thing about being fat,-

AH0-N D-IH1-M F-AE1-T DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z HH-AW1 F-AE1 T-AY1 AE1 M-W-AH1-N TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T B-IY1 IH0-NG F-AE1-T


...you're not meant to mention it.

Y-UH1-R N-AA1 T-M-EH1-N-T T-UW1 M-EH1-N SH-AH0 N-IH1-T


and the other thing about being fat,-

AH0-N-D DH-AH0 AH1 DH-ER0 TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T B-IY1 IH0-NG F-AE1-T


...i know how fat i am. i'm not going to look at a photograph of myself-

AY1 N-OW1 HH-AW1 F-AE1 T-AY1 AE1 M-IH1-M N-AA1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 L-UH1 K-AE1 T-AH0 F-OW1 T-AH0 G-R-AE2 F-AH1 V-M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F


...one day and go, "oh my god, i've got an arse." in the same way-

W-AH1-N D-EY1 AH0-N-D G-OW1 OW1 M-AY1 G-AA1 D-AY1-V G-AA1 T-AE1 N-AA1-R S-IH0-N DH-AH0 S-EY1 M-W-EY1


...you wouldn't look at a photograph of your house and go, "oh my god, there's an upstairs."

Y-UW1 W-UH1 D-L-AH0-N T-L-UH1 K-AE1 T-AH0 F-OW1 T-AH0 G-R-AE2 F-AH1 V-Y-AO1-R HH-AW1 S-AH0-N-D G-OW1 OW1 M-AY1 G-AA1-D DH-EH1-R Z-AE1 N-AH0-P-S T-EH1-R-Z


i live here-


...i know what it's like, fat people know that they're fat.

AY1 N-OW1 W-AH1 T-IH1-T S-L-AY1-K F-AE1-T P-IY1 P-AH0-L N-OW1 DH-AE1-T TH-EH1-R F-AE1-T


i know you know.


and that, as i understand it, is how being fat works.

AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-AE1 Z-AY1 AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N D-IH1 T-IH1-Z HH-AW1 B-IY1 IH0-NG F-AE1 T-W-ER1-K-S


that's the system that no one has agreed upon.

TH-AE1-T-S DH-AH0 S-IH1-S T-AH0-M DH-AE1 T-N-OW1 W-AH1-N HH-AE1 Z-AH0 G-R-IY1 D-AH0 P-AA1-N


if you're fat, there's a couple of things you can do.

IH1 F-Y-UH1-R F-AE1-T DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 K-AH1 P-AH0 L-AH1-V TH-IH1-NG Z-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N D-UW1


that's actually the most popular one.

TH-AE1-T S-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 DH-AH0 M-OW1-S-T P-AA1 P-Y-AH0 L-ER0 W-AH1-N


but if you don't, if you decide that what you want is to try and change your body, that's a difficult thing. there is a idea that there's a physics to this that-

B-AH1 T-IH1 F-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-IH1 F-Y-UW1 D-IH0 S-AY1-D DH-AE1 T-W-AH1 T-Y-UW1 W-AA1-N T-IH1-Z T-UW1 T-R-AY1 AH0-N-D CH-EY1-N JH-Y-AO1-R B-AA1 D-IY0 TH-AE1-T S-AH0 D-IH1 F-AH0 K-AH0-L-T TH-IH1-NG DH-EH1 R-IH1 Z-AH0 AY0 D-IY1 AH0 DH-AE1-T DH-EH1-R Z-AH0 F-IH1 Z-IH0-K-S T-UW1 DH-IH1-S DH-AE1-T


...that's the body you have. but, it's not a simple as that.

TH-AE1-T-S DH-AH0 B-AA1 D-IY0 Y-UW1 HH-AE1-V B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-AH0 S-IH1-M P-AH0 L-AE1-Z DH-AE1-T


they were actually only trying to lose one very tiny pound of weight. anyway-

DH-EY1 W-ER0 AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 OW1 N-L-IY0 T-R-AY1 IH0-NG T-UW1 L-UW1 Z-W-AH1-N V-EH1 R-IY0 T-AY1 N-IY0 P-AW1-N D-AH1 V-W-EY1 T-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


...and that is now pretty much common knowledge. everyone knows you can't lose weight from dieting.

AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1 Z-N-AW1 P-R-IH1 T-IY0 M-AH1-CH K-AA1 M-AH0-N N-AA1 L-AH0 JH-EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N N-OW1 Z-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N T-L-UW1 Z-W-EY1-T F-R-AH1-M D-AY1 AH0 T-IH0-NG


...can't lose weight from dieting. aliens on planets without gravity know that you can't lose weight by dieting.

K-AE1-N T-L-UW1 Z-W-EY1-T F-R-AH1-M D-AY1 AH0 T-IH0 NG-EY1 L-IY0 AH0-N Z-AA1-N P-L-AE1 N-AH0-T S-W-IH0 TH-AW1-T G-R-AE1 V-AH0 T-IY0 N-OW1 DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 K-AE1-N T-L-UW1 Z-W-EY1-T B-AY1 D-AY1 AH0 T-IH0-NG


it may be possible to lose weight from something called, a lifestyle change, but no one knows what that is.

IH1 T-M-EY1 B-IY1 P-AA1 S-AH0 B-AH0-L T-UW1 L-UW1 Z-W-EY1-T F-R-AH1-M S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG K-AO1-L D-AH0 L-AY1-F-S T-AY2-L CH-EY1-N-JH B-AH1 T-N-OW1 W-AH1-N N-OW1 Z-W-AH1-T DH-AE1 T-IH1-Z


and the more i think about it, the more i think what they mean when they say, "lifestyle change is just being dead."

AH0-N-D DH-AH0 M-AO1 R-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T DH-AH0 M-AO1 R-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-W-AH1-T DH-EY1 M-IY1 N-W-EH1-N DH-EY1 S-EY1 L-AY1-F-S T-AY2-L CH-EY1-N JH-IH1-Z JH-AH1-S-T B-IY1 IH0-NG D-EH1-D


which i suppose would work.

W-IH1 CH-AY1 S-AH0 P-OW1 Z-W-UH1 D-W-ER1-K


i don't do that,-


...i've chosen the best option, which is being okay about my fat body.

AY1-V CH-OW1 Z-AH0-N DH-AH0 B-EH1-S T-AA1-P SH-AH0 N-W-IH1 CH-IH1-Z B-IY1 IH0 NG-OW2 K-EY1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0


i am okay about my fat body.

AY1 AE1 M-OW2 K-EY1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0


so obviously, i'm okay about my fat body.

S-OW1 AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 IH1 M-OW2 K-EY1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0


i'm making a show called, "how to be fat." would a person who wasn't okay about their fat body do that?

IH1-M M-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 K-AO1-L-D HH-AW1 T-UW1 B-IY1 F-AE1 T-W-UH1 D-AH0 P-ER1 S-AH0-N HH-UW1 W-AO1-S T-OW2 K-EY1 AH0 B-AW1-T DH-EH1-R F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 D-UW1 DH-AE1-T


i am okay about my fat body.


would a person who wasn't okay about their fat body, make a show about having a fat body?

W-UH1 D-AH0 P-ER1 S-AH0-N HH-UW1 W-AO1-S T-OW2 K-EY1 AH0 B-AW1-T DH-EH1-R F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 M-EY1 K-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1-T HH-AE1 V-IH0 NG-AH0 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0


obviously not. i am okay-

AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 N-AA1 T-AY1 AE1 M-OW2 K-EY1


...about my fat body. i'm so okay, i've made a show about it.

AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 IH1-M S-OW1 OW2 K-EY1 AY1 V-M-EY1 D-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T


in my show, i'm going to have a "guess my weight" competition.

IH0-N M-AY1 SH-OW1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 G-EH1 S-M-AY1 W-EY1-T K-AA2-M P-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0-N


i'll be doing this, because i think it will be upsetting.

IH1-L B-IY1 D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1-S B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1 T-W-IH1-L B-IY1 AH0-P S-EH1 T-IH0-NG


weight is an upsetting thing, people get upset about it. if i'm not allowed to tell you that i'm fat-

W-EY1 T-IH1 Z-AE1 N-AH0-P S-EH1 T-IH0-NG TH-IH1-NG P-IY1 P-AH0-L G-EH1 T-AH0-P S-EH1 T-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1 T-IH1 F-IH1-M N-AA1 T-AH0 L-AW1-D T-UW1 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 DH-AE1 T-IH1-M F-AE1-T


...i'm even less allowed to tell you my weight, and you are certainly not allowed to tell me what you think my weight is. and that is why i'm going to have a "guess my weight" competition.

IH1 M-IY1 V-IH0 N-L-EH1 S-AH0 L-AW1-D T-UW1 T-EH1 L-Y-UW1 M-AY1 W-EY1 T-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 AA1-R S-ER1 T-AH0 N-L-IY0 N-AA1 T-AH0 L-AW1-D T-UW1 T-EH1-L M-IY1 W-AH1 T-Y-UW1 TH-IH1-NG K-M-AY1 W-EY1 T-IH1 Z-AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1 Z-W-AY1 IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 G-EH1 S-M-AY1 W-EY1-T K-AA2-M P-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0-N


i told the director of my show-

AY1 T-OW1-L-D DH-AH0 D-ER0 EH1-K T-ER0 AH1 V-M-AY1 SH-OW1


... competition. the director of my show is a very fat man.

K-AA2-M P-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0-N DH-AH0 D-ER0 EH1-K T-ER0 AH1 V-M-AY1 SH-OW1 IH1 Z-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 F-AE1 T-M-AE1-N


why do you want to do that? i said, "because i don't think people know what fat people weigh."

W-AY1 D-UW1 Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-AE1 T-AY1 S-EH1-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-AA1-N-T TH-IH1-NG-K P-IY1 P-AH0-L N-OW1 W-AH1-T F-AE1-T P-IY1 P-AH0 L-W-EY1


put this part in where i say that the ex-director of my show-

P-UH1-T DH-IH1-S P-AA1-R T-IH0 N-W-EH1 R-AY1 S-EY1 DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 EH1-K-S D-ER0 T-EH2 R-AH1 V-M-AY1 SH-OW1


... does not weigh 22 stone.

D-AH1 Z-N-AA1 T-W-EY1 T-W-EH1-N T-IY0 T-UW1-S T-OW1-N


apparently he weighs 15-and-a-half stone.

AH0 P-EH1 R-AH0-N T-L-IY0 HH-IY1 W-EY1-Z F-IH1-F T-IH0-N HH-AH0-N D-AH0-N-T-S T-OW1-N


i don't know if that's true, but he's asked me to say it.

AY1 D-AA1-N T-N-OW1 IH1-F TH-AE1-T-S T-R-UW1 B-AH1-T HH-IY1 Z-AE1-S-K T-M-IY1 T-UW1 S-EY1 IH1-T


i'm going to have a guess my weight competition. it's going to be like a guess the weight at the cake competition that you have in a fête, except obviously you don't win a cake.

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 V-AH0 G-EH1 S-M-AY1 W-EY1-T K-AA2-M P-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0 N-IH1-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 B-IY1 L-AY1 K-AH0 G-EH1-S DH-AH0 W-EY1 T-AE1-T DH-AH0 K-EY1-K K-AA2-M P-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0-N DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 HH-AE1 V-IH0 N-AH0 F-EY1 T-IH0-K S-EH1-P T-AA1-B V-IY0 AH0 S-L-IY0 Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-W-IH1 N-AH0 K-EY1-K


you just win me, which is slightly less good than winning a cake. if you don't think that's less good-

Y-UW1 JH-AH1-S T-W-IH1-N M-IY1 W-IH1 CH-IH1-Z S-L-AY1 T-L-IY0 L-EH1-S G-UH1-D DH-AE1 N-W-IH1 N-IH0 NG-AH0 K-EY1 K-IH1 F-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T TH-IH1-NG-K TH-AE1-T S-L-EH1-S G-UH1-D


... i really worry about your need to gain ownership of a fat middle-aged woman, but it's not a good thing to win.

AY1 R-IH1 L-IY0 W-ER1 IY0 AH0 B-AW1 T-Y-AO1-R N-IY1-D T-UW1 G-EY1 N-OW1 N-ER0 SH-IH2 P-AH1 V-AH0 F-AE1 T-M-IH0 D-AH0 L-EY1-JH D-W-UH1 M-AH0-N B-AH1 T-IH1-T S-N-AA1 T-AH0 G-UH1-D TH-IH1-NG T-UW1 W-IH1-N


but i'm making a show about my fat body and i'm holding a guess my weight-

B-AH1 T-IH1-M M-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N D-IH1-M HH-OW1-L D-IH0 NG-AH0 G-EH1 S-M-AY1 W-EY1-T


... competition. the reason i'm doing this is because i am okay with my fat body, and that is how okay i am about it. i am very, very okay.

K-AA2-M P-AH0 T-IH1 SH-AH0-N DH-AH0 R-IY1 Z-AH0 N-IH1-M D-UW1 IH0-NG DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 AE1 M-OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N-D DH-AE1 T-IH1-Z HH-AW1 OW2 K-EY1 AY1 AE1 M-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1 T-AY1 AE1-M V-EH1 R-IY0 V-EH1 R-IY0 OW2 K-EY1


except it is quite hard-

IH0-K S-EH1-P T-IH1 T-IH1-Z K-W-AY1-T HH-AA1-R-D


... to be okay with your fat body. a thing about being okay with your fat body is in many ways-

T-UW1 B-IY1 OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-Y-AO1-R F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 AH0 TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T B-IY1 IH0 NG-OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-Y-AO1-R F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 IH1 Z-IH0-N M-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY1-Z


... it's as prone to failure and disappointment is changing of that body, which in case you don't remember from two minutes ago is very prone to failure and disappointment indeed.

IH1-T S-AE1-Z P-R-OW1-N T-UW1 F-EY1 L-Y-ER0 AH0-N-D D-IH2 S-AH0 P-OY1-N T-M-AH0-N T-IH1-Z CH-EY1-N JH-IH0 NG-AH1-V DH-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 W-IH1 CH-IH0-N K-EY1 S-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N T-R-IH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 F-R-AH1-M T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0 G-OW1 IH1-Z V-EH1 R-IY0 P-R-OW1-N T-UW1 F-EY1 L-Y-ER0 AH0-N-D D-IH2 S-AH0 P-OY1-N T-M-AH0-N T-IH0-N D-IY1-D


the thing about that option though, being okay with my fat body is, if i fail at it-

DH-AH0 TH-IH1 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1 T-AA1-P SH-AH0-N DH-OW1 B-IY1 IH0 NG-OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 IH1 Z-IH1 F-AY1 F-EY1 L-AE1 T-IH1-T


you can't tell that i'm not okay with my fat body.

Y-UW1 K-AE1-N-T T-EH1-L DH-AE1 T-IH1-M N-AA1 T-OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0


you'd never know. you'd never know that i'm not okay with my fat body.

Y-AH1 D-N-EH1 V-ER0 N-OW1 Y-AH1 D-N-EH1 V-ER0 N-OW1 DH-AE1 T-IH1-M N-AA1 T-OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0


i'm making a show about my fat body. you'd assume i was okay with it-

IH1-M M-EY1 K-IH0 NG-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 Y-AH1 D-AH0 S-UW1 M-AY1 W-AA1 Z-OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-IH1-T


.... i think. the thing is i really do want to be okay with my fat body, and the reason why-

AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K DH-AH0 TH-IH1 NG-IH1 Z-AY1 R-IH1 L-IY0 D-UW1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 B-IY1 OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 AH0-N-D DH-AH0 R-IY1 Z-AH0 N-W-AY1


... i want to be okay with my fat body is because-

AY1 W-AA1-N-T T-UW1 B-IY1 OW2 K-EY1 W-IH1 DH-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 IH1-Z B-IH0 K-AO1-Z


i thought if i make a show about my fat body, that will make me okay about my fat body. then by the end of the show-

AY1 TH-AO1 T-IH1 F-AY1 M-EY1 K-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 DH-AE1 T-W-IH1-L M-EY1 K-M-IY1 OW2 K-EY1 AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AY1 F-AE1-T B-AA1 D-IY0 DH-EH1-N B-AY1 DH-AH0 EH1-N D-AH1-V DH-AH0 SH-OW1


... i'll be thin.


you can come and see the show and see how well that's actually worked.

Y-UW1 K-AE1-N K-AH1 M-AH0-N-D S-IY1 DH-AH0 SH-OW1 AH0-N-D S-IY1 HH-AW1 W-EH1-L TH-AE1-T S-AE1-K CH-AH0 W-AH0 L-IY0 W-ER1-K-T


i mean, it's a lifestyle change being in a show.

AY1 M-IY1 N-IH1-T S-AH0 L-AY1-F-S T-AY2-L CH-EY1-N-JH B-IY1 IH0 NG-IH0 N-AH0 SH-OW1


[inaudible 00:02:59]. hello everyone, how's it going? [crosstalk 00:03:00].all right. just by way of warning you won't learn anything from this story.

IH0 N-AO1 D-AH0 B-AH0-L Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z T-UW1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D F-IH1-F T-IY0 N-AY1-N S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D-Z HH-AH0 L-OW1 EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N HH-AW1 Z-IH1-T G-OW1 IH0-NG K-R-AO1-S T-AO1-K Z-IH1 R-OW0 AW1 ER0-Z TH-R-IY1 M-IH1 N-AH0-T S-AH0-N-D Z-IH1 R-OW0 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D Z-AO1-L R-AY1-T JH-AH1-S-T B-AY1 W-EY1 AH1 V-W-AO1-R N-IH0 NG-Y-UW1 W-OW1-N T-L-ER1 N-EH1 N-IY0 TH-IH2-NG F-R-AH1-M DH-IH1-S-S T-AO1 R-IY0


right. i mean, as i said earlier on that every act is different, so expect the unexpected.

R-AY1 T-AY1 M-IY1 N-AE1 Z-AY1 S-EH1 D-ER1 L-IY0 ER0 AA1-N DH-AE1 T-EH1 V-ER0 IY0 AE1-K T-IH1-Z D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T S-OW1 IH0-K-S P-EH1-K-T DH-AH0 AH2 N-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K T-IH0-D


and the next act is certainly unexpected.

AH0-N-D DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S T-AE1-K T-IH1-Z S-ER1 T-AH0 N-L-IY0 AH2 N-IH0-K-S P-EH1-K T-IH0-D


he was hammering a grape into the face of justin bieber-

HH-IY1 W-AA1-Z HH-AE1 M-ER0 IH0 NG-AH0 G-R-EY1 P-IH0-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 F-EY1 S-AH1-V JH-AH1-S T-AH0-N B-IY1 B-ER0


... whilst reciting greek tragedy. i have no idea what's going to happen now.

W-AY1-L-S T-R-IY0 S-AY1 T-IH0-NG G-R-IY1-K T-R-AE1 JH-AH0 D-IY0 AY1 HH-AE1 V-N-OW1 AY0 D-IY1 AH0 W-AH0-T-S G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 HH-AE1 P-AH0-N N-AW1


he'll be doing his new show, the golden age of steam-

HH-EH1-L B-IY1 D-UW1 IH0-NG HH-IH1 Z-N-UW1 SH-OW1 DH-AH0 G-OW1-L D-AH0 N-EY1 JH-AH1-V-S T-IY1-M


.. at edinburgh this year, so look out for that. put your hands together for michael.

AE1 T-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1-R S-OW1 L-UH1 K-AW1-T F-AO1-R DH-AE1-T P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 F-AO1-R M-AY1 K-AH0-L


okay so, the next act would've been sophia walker, but she's had to pull out today.

OW2 K-EY1 S-OW1 DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S T-AE1-K T-W-UH1-D-L-V B-IH1-N S-OW0 F-IY1 AH0 W-AO1 K-ER0 B-AH1-T SH-EH1-S HH-AE1-D T-UW1 P-UH1 L-AW1-T T-AH0 D-EY1


she's an amazing spoken word artist and you should totally check her out. but she had to pull out at the last minute.

SH-EH1 S-AE1 N-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG-S P-OW1 K-AH0 N-W-ER1 D-AA1-R T-AH0-S T-AH0-N D-Y-UW1 SH-UH1-D T-OW1 T-AH0 L-IY0 CH-EH1-K HH-ER0 AW1-T B-AH1-T SH-IY1 HH-AE1-D T-UW1 P-UH1 L-AW1 T-AE1-T DH-AH0 L-AE1-S T-M-IH1 N-AH0-T


i'm moving my set that was in the tragic sex part of the night-

IH1-M M-UW1 V-IH0-NG M-AY1 S-EH1-T DH-AE1 T-W-AA1 Z-IH0-N DH-AH0 T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K S-EH1-K-S P-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-AH0 N-AY1-T


... to here, because it also fits with tragic beginnings.

T-UW1 HH-IY1-R B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1 T-AO1-L S-OW0 F-IH1-T S-W-IH1-DH T-R-AE1 JH-IH0-K B-IH0 G-IH1 N-IH0-NG-Z


so you get some extra sex, and the next act is me. put your hands together for me.

S-OW1 Y-UW1 G-EH1-T S-AH1 M-EH1-K-S T-R-AH0 S-EH1-K S-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S T-AE1-K T-IH1 Z-M-IY1 P-UH1 T-Y-AO1-R HH-AE1-N-D-Z T-AH0 G-EH1 DH-ER0 F-AO1-R M-IY1


first of all, the content that you're hearing is very new, and so be patient with it.

F-ER1-S T-AH1 V-AO1-L DH-AH0 K-AA1-N T-EH0-N-T DH-AE1 T-Y-UH1-R HH-IY1 R-IH0 NG-IH1-Z V-EH1 R-IY0 N-UW1 AH0-N-D S-OW1 B-IY1 P-EY1 SH-AH0-N T-W-IH1 DH-IH1-T


... you want, but that's what's happening. right, so i'm doing my show, a solo show in edinburgh this year. it's called what's-

Y-UW1 W-AA1-N-T B-AH1-T TH-AE1-T S-W-AH0-T-S HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0 NG-R-AY1-T S-OW1 IH1-M D-UW1 IH0-NG M-AY1 SH-OW1 AH0 S-OW1 L-OW2 SH-OW1 IH0 N-EH1 D-AH0-N B-ER0 OW0 DH-IH1 S-Y-IH1 R-IH1-T-S K-AO1-L D-W-AH0-T-S


... my questions about what men think about patriarchy, and what men think about masculinity.

M-AY1 K-W-EH1-S CH-AH0-N Z-AH0 B-AW1 T-W-AH1 T-M-EH1-N TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1-T P-EY1 T-R-IY0 AA2-R K-IY0 AH0-N D-W-AH1 T-M-EH1-N TH-IH1-NG K-AH0 B-AW1 T-M-AE2-S K-Y-AH0 L-IH1 N-AH0 T-IY0


i'm going to do the first little bit of that that i've ever done in public.

IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 DH-AH0 F-ER1-S T-L-IH1 T-AH0-L B-IH1 T-AH1-V DH-AE1-T DH-AE1 T-AY1 V-EH1 V-ER0 D-AH1 N-IH0-N P-AH1 B-L-IH0-K


it won't be the start of that show, but that's what i'm going to do today. okay.

IH1 T-W-OW1-N-T B-IY1 DH-AH0-S T-AA1-R T-AH1-V DH-AE1-T SH-OW1 B-AH1-T TH-AE1-T S-W-AH1 T-IH1-M G-OW1 IH0-NG T-UW1 D-UW1 T-AH0 D-EY1 OW2 K-EY1


that's one of the things i ask them. one of the ways that patriarchy has hurt me is in the way it's influenced my understanding and my experience of sex.

TH-AE1-T S-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 TH-IH1-NG Z-AY1 AE1-S-K DH-EH1 M-W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 W-EY1-Z DH-AE1-T P-EY1 T-R-IY0 AA2-R K-IY0 HH-AE1-Z HH-ER1 T-M-IY1 IH1 Z-IH0-N DH-AH0 W-EY1 IH1-T S-IH1-N F-L-UW0 AH0-N-S T-M-AY1 AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N D-IH0 NG-AH0-N D-M-AY1 IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-AH1-V S-EH1-K-S


i invented something amazing.

AY1 IH0-N V-EH1-N T-AH0-D S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG


i discovered something that nobody else in the world had ever known.

AY1 D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0-D S-AH1-M TH-IH0-NG DH-AE1 T-N-OW1 B-AA2 D-IY2 EH1-L S-IH0-N DH-AH0 W-ER1-L-D HH-AE1 D-EH1 V-ER0 N-OW1-N


i discovered it late at night, lying in bed. i found that my body could do this amazing, amazing thing.

AY1 D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0 D-IH1 T-L-EY1 T-AE1 T-N-AY1 T-L-AY1 IH0 NG-IH0-N B-EH1 D-AY1 F-AW1-N-D DH-AE1 T-M-AY1 B-AA1 D-IY0 K-UH1-D D-UW1 DH-IH1 S-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0 NG-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG TH-IH1-NG


and i couldn't wait until the next day to tell everybody else about it.

AH0-N D-AY1 K-AW1-L D-AH0-N T-W-EY1 T-AH0-N T-IH1-L DH-AH0 N-EH1-K-S-T D-EY1 T-UW1 T-EH1 L-EH1 V-R-IY0 B-AA2 D-IY0 EH1-L S-AH0 B-AW1 T-IH1-T


i gathered a group of young men around the same age as me.

AY1 G-AE1 DH-ER0 D-AH0 G-R-UW1 P-AH1 V-Y-AH1-NG M-EH1 N-ER0 AW1-N-D DH-AH0 S-EY1 M-EY1 JH-AE1 Z-M-IY1


i discovered this amazing thing. i call it simulated sex.

AY1 D-IH0-S K-AH1 V-ER0-D DH-IH1 S-AH0 M-EY1 Z-IH0-NG TH-IH1 NG-AY1 K-AO1 L-IH1-T S-IH1 M-Y-AH0 L-EY2 T-IH0-D S-EH1-K-S


i described to them what i'd been doing, which was rubbing myself until i achieved orgasm, and they said-

AY1 D-IH0-S K-R-AY1-B-D T-UW1 DH-EH1 M-W-AH1 T-IH1-D B-IH1-N D-UW1 IH0 NG-W-IH1 CH-W-AA1 Z-R-AH1 B-IH0-NG M-AY2 S-EH1-L F-AH0-N T-IH1 L-AY1 AH0 CH-IY1-V D-AO1-R G-AE0 Z-AH0 M-AH0-N-D DH-EY1 S-EH1-D


... "everyone knows about that," and i realized i hadn't invented simulated sex.

EH1 V-R-IY0 W-AH2-N N-OW1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T DH-AE1 T-AH0-N D-AY1 R-IY1 L-AY2-Z D-AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0-N T-IH0-N V-EH1-N T-AH0-D S-IH1 M-Y-AH0 L-EY2 T-IH0-D S-EH1-K-S


one of the ways that you could describe my upbringing is feminist. until i was eight, my father looked after me and my mum went out to work.

W-AH1 N-AH1-V DH-AH0 W-EY1-Z DH-AE1 T-Y-UW1 K-UH1-D D-IH0-S K-R-AY1 B-M-AY1 AH1-P B-R-IH2 NG-IH0 NG-IH1-Z F-EH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-S T-AH0-N T-IH1 L-AY1 W-AA1 Z-EY1 T-M-AY1 F-AA1 DH-ER0 L-UH1-K T-AE1-F T-ER0 M-IY1 AH0-N D-M-AY1 M-AH1 M-W-EH1-N T-AW1-T T-UW1 W-ER1-K


my older half-sisters, who are old enough to have played aunt-like roles in my childhood, as well as my mom and my dad were influenced by the feminist movements of the '60s and the '70s.

M-AY1 OW1-L D-ER0 HH-AE1 F-L-IH0-S T-ER0-Z HH-UW1 AA1 R-OW1-L D-IH0 N-AH1-F T-UW1 HH-AE1-V P-L-EY1 D-AO1-N T-L-AY2 K-R-OW1-L Z-IH0-N M-AY1 CH-AY1-L-D HH-UH2 D-AE1 Z-W-EH1 L-AE1 Z-M-AY1 M-AA1 M-AH0-N D-M-AY1 D-AE1 D-W-ER0 IH1-N F-L-UW0 AH0-N-S-T B-AY1 DH-AH0 F-EH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-S T-M-UW1 V-M-AH0-N-T S-AH1-V DH-AH0 S-IH1-K-S T-IY0 Z-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 S-EH1 V-AH0-N T-IY0-Z


the women in my family were strong, feminist role models, debunking many of the social myths that get imparted to young children through culture.

DH-AH0 W-IH1 M-AH0 N-IH0-N M-AY1 F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0 W-ER0-S T-R-AO1-NG F-EH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-S T-R-OW1-L M-AA1 D-AH0-L-Z D-IH0 B-AH1-NG K-IH0-NG M-EH1 N-IY0 AH1-V DH-AH0 S-OW1 SH-AH0-L M-IH1-TH-S DH-AE1-T G-EH1 T-IH0-M P-AA1-R T-IH0-D T-UW1 Y-AH1-NG CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N TH-R-UW1 K-AH1-L CH-ER0


in fact, in my family, it's the women who-

IH0-N F-AE1-K T-IH0-N M-AY1 F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0 IH1-T-S DH-AH0 W-IH1 M-AH0-N HH-UW1


... both make the decisions and wheel the financial clout.

B-OW1 TH-M-EY1-K DH-AH0 D-IH0 S-IH1 ZH-AH0-N Z-AH0-N D-W-IY1-L DH-AH0 F-AH0 N-AE1-N SH-AH0-L K-L-AW1-T


however, if we have to look at things through this-

HH-AW2 EH1 V-ER0 IH1 F-W-IY1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 L-UH1 K-AE1-T TH-IH1-NG-Z TH-R-UW1 DH-IH1-S


... dominator model, the people in charge in my family-

D-AA1 M-AH0 N-EY2 T-ER0 M-AA1 D-AH0-L DH-AH0 P-IY1 P-AH0 L-IH0-N CH-AA1-R JH-IH0-N M-AY1 F-AE1 M-AH0 L-IY0


... are the women. my mom's marriage to my step-

AA1-R DH-AH0 W-IH1 M-AH0-N M-AY1 M-AA1-M Z-M-EH1 R-IH0-JH T-UW1 M-AY1-S T-EH1-P


... dad was a complicated blip in that, but it was just a blip.

D-AE1 D-W-AA1 Z-AH0 K-AA1-M P-L-AH0 K-EY2 T-AH0-D B-L-IH1 P-IH0-N DH-AE1-T B-AH1 T-IH1 T-W-AA1-Z JH-AH1-S T-AH0 B-L-IH1-P


that blip happened when i turned eight and things got complicated.

DH-AE1-T B-L-IH1-P HH-AE1 P-AH0-N D-W-EH1 N-AY1 T-ER1-N D-EY1 T-AH0-N-D TH-IH1-NG-Z G-AA1-T K-AA1-M P-L-AH0 K-EY2 T-AH0-D


i witnessed and experienced a patriarchal model in my home life, and the world stopped being a safe space for me.

AY1 W-IH1 T-N-AH0-S T-AH0-N D-IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N-S T-AH0 P-EY2 T-R-IY0 AA1-R K-AH0-L M-AA1 D-AH0 L-IH0-N M-AY1 HH-OW1 M-L-AY1 F-AH0-N-D DH-AH0 W-ER1-L-D-S T-AA1-P-T B-IY1 IH0 NG-AH0 S-EY1-F-S P-EY1-S F-AO1-R M-IY1


but even then i had a strong feminist perspective imparted to me by my father. during those years, he was a member of a feminist children's book club, and many of the books-

B-AH1 T-IY1 V-IH0-N DH-EH1 N-AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0-S T-R-AO1-NG F-EH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-S-T P-ER0-S P-EH1-K T-IH0 V-IH0-M P-AA1-R T-IH0-D T-UW1 M-IY1 B-AY1 M-AY1 F-AA1 DH-ER0 D-UH1 R-IH0-NG DH-OW1 Z-Y-IH1-R-Z HH-IY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 M-EH1-M B-ER0 AH1 V-AH0 F-EH1 M-AH0 N-AH0-S-T CH-IH1-L D-R-AH0-N-Z B-UH1-K K-L-AH1 B-AH0-N D-M-EH1 N-IY0 AH1-V DH-AH0 B-UH1-K-S


... i was reading came from there. even as i was experiencing the opposite of a positive male role model in my main home, when i went to my dance at weekends-

AY1 W-AA1 Z-R-EH1 D-IH0-NG K-EY1-M F-R-AH1-M DH-EH1 R-IY1 V-IH0 N-AE1 Z-AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-IH0-NG DH-AH0 AA1 P-AH0 Z-AH0 T-AH1 V-AH0 P-AA1 Z-AH0 T-IH0 V-M-EY1-L R-OW1-L M-AA1 D-AH0 L-IH0-N M-AY1 M-EY1-N HH-OW1 M-W-EH1 N-AY1 W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 M-AY1 D-AE1-N S-AE1 T-W-IY1 K-EH2-N-D-Z


...i was shown a model of masculinity that embraced not only feminism, but love, empathy, and compassion.

AY1 W-AA1-Z SH-OW1 N-AH0 M-AA1 D-AH0 L-AH1 V-M-AE2-S K-Y-AH0 L-IH1 N-AH0 T-IY0 DH-AE1 T-EH0-M B-R-EY1-S T-N-AA1 T-OW1 N-L-IY0 F-EH1 M-IH0 N-IH2 Z-AH0-M B-AH1 T-L-AH1 V-EH1-M P-AH0 TH-IY0 AH0-N-D K-AH0-M P-AE1 SH-AH0-N


i was dressed in hand-me-downs from my niece, which meant that i was regularly sent to primary school wearing pink jeans.

AY1 W-AA1-Z D-R-EH1-S T-IH0-N HH-AE1-N D-M-AH0 D-AW2-N-Z F-R-AH1-M M-AY1 N-IY1 S-W-IH1 CH-M-EH1-N-T DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AA1 Z-R-EH1 G-Y-AH0 L-ER0 L-IY0 S-EH1-N-T T-UW1 P-R-AY1 M-EH2 R-IY0-S K-UW1 L-W-EH1 R-IH0-NG P-IH1-NG-K JH-IY1-N-Z


i didn't really conceive of the idea that boys and girls were significantly different.

AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-R-IH1 L-IY0 K-AH0-N S-IY1 V-AH1-V DH-AH0 AY0 D-IY1 AH0 DH-AE1-T B-OY1 Z-AH0-N-D G-ER1-L Z-W-ER0 S-IH0 G-N-IH1 F-IH0 K-AH0-N T-L-IY0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N-T


from then until i was about 15, all my friends would be boys.

F-R-AH1-M DH-EH1 N-AH0-N T-IH1 L-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 B-AW1-T F-IH0-F T-IY1 N-AO1-L M-AY1 F-R-EH1-N-D Z-W-UH1-D B-IY1 B-OY1-Z


i occasionally had girl friends, but i didn't have girl-

AY1 AH0 K-EY1 ZH-AH0 N-AH0 L-IY0 HH-AE1-D G-ER1-L F-R-EH1-N-D-Z B-AH1 T-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V G-ER1-L


we basically self-segregated ourselves along gender lines.

W-IY1 B-EY1 S-IH0 K-L-IY0 S-EH1-L-F-S G-IH0-S T-EY2 JH-IH0 D-AW0 ER0 S-EH1-L-V Z-AH0 L-AO1-NG JH-EH1-N D-ER0 L-AY1-N-Z


i was around nine years old when charmaine case dropped my rubber on the floor-

AY1 W-AA1 Z-ER0 AW1-N D-N-AY1 N-Y-IH1-R Z-OW1-L D-W-EH1-N SH-AA0-R M-EY1-N K-EY1-S D-R-AA1-P T-M-AY1 R-AH1 B-ER0 AA1-N DH-AH0 F-L-AO1-R


... and when i reached down to pick it up, she flashed me her vulva.

AH0-N D-W-EH1 N-AY1 R-IY1-CH-T D-AW1-N T-UW1 P-IH1 K-IH1 T-AH1-P SH-IY1 F-L-AE1-SH T-M-IY1 HH-ER0 V-UH1-L V-AH0


when i was 10 or so, i told rebecca swift, who i was going out with, that-

W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z T-EH1 N-AO1-R S-OW1 AY1 T-OW1-L D-R-AH0 B-EH1 K-AH0 S-W-IH1-F-T HH-UW1 AY1 W-AA1-Z G-OW1 IH0 NG-AW1 T-W-IH1-DH DH-AE1-T


... it wasn't right for us to continue to go out because i'd seen charmaine's vulva, but i hadn't seen hers.

IH1 T-W-AO1-S T-R-AY1-T F-AO1 R-AH1-S T-UW1 K-AH0-N T-IH1 N-Y-UW0 T-UW1 G-OW1 AW1-T B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-IH1-D S-IY1-N CH-AA1-R M-AH0-N-Z V-UH1-L V-AH0 B-AH1 T-AY1 HH-AE1 D-AH0-N-T S-IY1-N HH-ER0-Z


this resulted in us showing each other our genitals behind the back of her garden shed.

DH-IH1 S-R-IH0 Z-AH1-L T-IH0 D-IH0 N-AH1-S SH-OW1 IH0 NG-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0 AW1 ER0 JH-EH1 N-AH0 T-AH0-L-Z B-IH0 HH-AY1-N-D DH-AH0 B-AE1 K-AH1-V HH-ER0 G-AA1-R D-AH0-N SH-EH1-D


although i wasn't aware of it at the time-

AO2-L DH-OW1 AY1 W-AO1-S T-AH0 W-EH1 R-AH1 V-IH1 T-AE1-T DH-AH0 T-AY1-M


... this was, as your laughter suggests, a very manipulative move, and looking back at it makes me shutter.

DH-IH1 S-W-AA1 Z-AE1 Z-Y-AO1-R L-AE1-F T-ER0 S-AH0-G JH-EH1-S-T S-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 M-AH0 N-IH1 P-Y-AH0 L-EY2 T-IH0 V-M-UW1 V-AH0-N D-L-UH1 K-IH0-NG B-AE1 K-AE1 T-IH1 T-M-EY1-K S-M-IY1 SH-AH1 T-ER0


even in terms of the practicalities-

IY1 V-IH0 N-IH0-N T-ER1-M Z-AH1-V DH-AH0 P-R-AE2-K T-IH0 K-AE1 L-AH0 T-IY0-Z


... there were clearly some gaps in my understanding, as my invention of masturbation should demonstrate.

DH-EH1 R-W-ER0 K-L-IH1-R L-IY0 S-AH1-M G-AE1-P S-IH0-N M-AY1 AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N D-IH0 NG-AE1 Z-M-AY1 IH0-N V-EH1-N SH-AH0 N-AH1 V-M-AE2-S T-ER0 B-EY1 SH-AH0-N SH-UH1-D D-EH1 M-AH0-N-S T-R-EY2-T


instead of learning consent and desire, what i instead managed to learn was guilt.

IH0-N-S T-EH1 D-AH1 V-L-ER1 N-IH0-NG K-AH0-N S-EH1-N T-AH0-N-D D-IH0 Z-AY1 ER0 W-AH1 T-AY1 IH0-N-S T-EH1 D-M-AE1 N-AH0-JH-D T-UW1 L-ER1 N-W-AA1-Z G-IH1-L-T


i was inventing masturbation next door to the room where my mum and my step-

AY1 W-AA1 Z-IH0-N V-EH1-N T-IH0-NG M-AE2-S T-ER0 B-EY1 SH-AH0-N N-EH1-K-S-T D-AO1-R T-UW1 DH-AH0 R-UW1 M-W-EH1-R M-AY1 M-AH1 M-AH0-N D-M-AY1-S T-EH1-P


... dad were ripping each other apart. sex became something linked with sadness to me.

D-AE1 D-W-ER0 R-IH1 P-IH0 NG-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0 AH0 P-AA1-R-T S-EH1-K-S B-IH0 K-EY1-M S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-L-IH1-NG-K T-W-IH1-DH S-AE1 D-N-AH0-S T-UW1 M-IY1


i think the shaming we are all taught to perpetuate makes all genders into weapons against each other.

AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K DH-AH0 SH-EY1 M-IH0 NG-W-IY1 AA1 R-AO1-L T-AO1-T T-UW1 P-ER0 P-EH1 CH-AH0 W-EY2 T-M-EY1-K S-AO1-L JH-EH1-N D-ER0 Z-IH0-N T-UW1 W-EH1 P-AH0-N Z-AH0 G-EH1-N-S T-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0


we slot into a horrible jigsaw puzzle that encourages us all to ignore and devalue consent, our own and each other's.

W-IY1 S-L-AA1 T-IH0-N T-UW1 AH0 HH-AO1 R-AH0 B-AH0-L JH-IH1-G S-AO2 P-AH1 Z-AH0-L DH-AE1 T-EH0-N K-ER1 IH0 JH-IH0 Z-AH1 S-AO1-L T-UW1 IH0 G-N-AO1 R-AH0-N-D D-IH0 V-AE1 L-Y-UW2 K-AH0-N S-EH1-N T-AW1 ER0 OW1 N-AH0-N D-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0-Z


they are shamed in a very different way to men. men are seen as disgusting animals-

DH-EY1 AA1-R SH-EY1-M D-IH0 N-AH0 V-EH1 R-IY0 D-IH1 F-ER0 AH0-N T-W-EY1 T-UW1 M-EH1-N M-EH1 N-AA1-R S-IY1 N-AE1-Z D-IH0-S G-AH1-S T-IH0 NG-AE1 N-AH0 M-AH0-L-Z


but that is presented as our natural state. women who desire are seen as deviant.

B-AH1-T DH-AE1 T-IH1-Z P-R-IY0 Z-EH1-N T-AH0 D-AE1 Z-AW1 ER0 N-AE1 CH-ER0 AH0-L-S T-EY1 T-W-IH1 M-AH0-N HH-UW1 D-IH0 Z-AY1 ER0 AA1-R S-IY1 N-AE1-Z D-IY1 V-IY0 AH0-N-T


the best stuff that i learned about sex came from my mother. although since she doesn't have boundaries.

DH-AH0 B-EH1-S-T-S T-AH1-F DH-AE1 T-AY1 L-ER1 N-IH0 D-AH0 B-AW1-T S-EH1-K-S K-EY1-M F-R-AH1-M M-AY1 M-AH1 DH-ER0 AO2-L DH-OW1 S-IH1-N-S SH-IY1 D-OW1 S-AH0-N-T HH-AE1-V B-AW1-N D-ER0 IY0-Z


for example, she often told me that giving birth to her second son was the most sexual experience of her life.

F-AO1 R-IH0-G Z-AE1-M P-AH0-L SH-IY1 AO1 F-AH0-N T-OW1-L D-M-IY1 DH-AE1-T G-IH1 V-IH0-NG B-ER1-TH T-UW1 HH-ER0 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D S-AH1 N-W-AA1-Z DH-AH0 M-OW1-S-T S-EH1-K SH-UW0 AH0 L-IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-AH1-V HH-ER0 L-AY1-F


this made me feel pretty strange since i am her second child, but it also taught me something about some women's experiences.

DH-IH1 S-M-EY1 D-M-IY1 F-IY1-L P-R-IH1 T-IY0-S T-R-EY1-N-JH S-IH1-N S-AY1 AE1-M HH-ER0 S-EH1 K-AH0-N-D CH-AY1-L-D B-AH1 T-IH1 T-AO1-L S-OW0 T-AO1 T-M-IY1 S-AH1-M TH-IH0 NG-AH0 B-AW1-T S-AH1 M-W-IH1 M-AH0-N Z-IH0-K-S P-IH1 R-IY0 AH0-N S-IH0-Z


-her coming. which is a useful thing to know and consider, but possibly a question of what emphasis to be giving to an adolescent boy, i think.

HH-ER0 K-AH1 M-IH0 NG-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AH0 Y-UW1-S F-AH0-L TH-IH1-NG T-UW1 N-OW1 AH0-N-D K-AH0-N S-IH1 D-ER0 B-AH1-T P-AA1 S-AH0 B-L-IY0 AH0 K-W-EH1-S CH-AH0 N-AH1 V-W-AH1 T-EH1-M F-AH0 S-AH0-S T-UW1 B-IY1 G-IH1 V-IH0-NG T-UW1 AE1 N-AE2 D-AH0 L-EH1 S-AH0-N-T B-OY1 AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K


this is the thing, even with progressive and supportive parents.

DH-IH1 S-IH1-Z DH-AH0 TH-IH1 NG-IY1 V-IH0 N-W-IH1-DH P-R-AH0 G-R-EH1 S-IH0 V-AH0-N-D S-AH0 P-AO1-R T-IH0-V P-EH1 R-AH0-N-T-S


i don't think it's fair to say that when i was a teenager.

AY1 D-AA1-N-T TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-T-S F-EH1-R T-UW1 S-EY1 DH-AE1 T-W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1 Z-AH0 T-IY1 N-EY2 JH-ER0


i knew that talking to all humans was pretty much the same thing, but i didn't know how to talk to girls about desire.

AY1 N-UW1 DH-AE1-T T-AO1 K-IH0-NG T-UW1 AO1-L HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0-N Z-W-AA1-Z P-R-IH1 T-IY0 M-AH1-CH DH-AH0 S-EY1-M TH-IH1-NG B-AH1 T-AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-N-OW1 HH-AW1 T-UW1 T-AO1-K T-UW1 G-ER1-L Z-AH0 B-AW1-T D-IH0 Z-AY1 ER0


i didn't know how to negotiate romance. to be honest, i'm not sure i do now.

AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-N-OW1 HH-AW1 T-UW1 N-AH0 G-OW1 SH-IY0 EY2 T-R-OW0 M-AE1-N-S T-UW1 B-IY1 AA1 N-AH0-S T-IH1-M N-AA1-T SH-UH1 R-AY1 D-UW1 N-AW1


if i'd had better sex education.

IH1 F-IH1-D HH-AE1-D B-EH1 T-ER0 S-EH1-K S-EH2 JH-AH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0-N


i'd have known that the idea of virginity is a weird one anyway.

IH1-D HH-AE1 V-N-OW1-N DH-AE1-T DH-AH0 AY0 D-IY1 AH0 AH1-V V-ER0 JH-IH1 N-IH0 T-IY0 IH1 Z-AH0 W-IH1-R D-W-AH1 N-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY2


sex isn't just when a penis goes into a vagina, there are many ways to have sex.

S-EH1-K S-IH1 S-AH0-N-T JH-AH1-S T-W-EH1 N-AH0 P-IY1 N-IH0-S G-OW1 Z-IH0-N T-UW1 AH0 V-AH0 JH-AY1 N-AH0 DH-EH1 R-AA1-R M-EH1 N-IY0 W-EY1-Z T-UW1 HH-AE1-V S-EH1-K-S


so i'd had sex before i officially lost my virginity.

S-OW1 IH1-D HH-AE1-D S-EH1-K-S B-IH0 F-AO1 R-AY1 AH0 F-IH1 SH-AH0 L-IY0 L-AO1-S T-M-AY1 V-ER0 JH-IH1 N-IH0 T-IY0


i was having sex at 15 when me and my previous girlfriend were messing around in my bed on and off for six months.

AY1 W-AA1-Z HH-AE1 V-IH0-NG S-EH1-K S-AE1-T F-IH0-F T-IY1 N-W-EH1-N M-IY1 AH0-N D-M-AY1 P-R-IY1 V-IY0 AH0-S G-ER1-L F-R-EH2-N D-W-ER0 M-EH1 S-IH0 NG-ER0 AW1-N D-IH0-N M-AY1 B-EH1 D-AA1 N-AH0-N D-AO1-F F-AO1-R S-IH1-K S-M-AH1-N-TH-S


i did a lot of things to her that, which we both enjoyed, but she didn't get me off.

AY1 D-IH1 D-AH0 L-AA1 T-AH1-V TH-IH1-NG-Z T-UW1 HH-ER0 DH-AE1 T-W-IH1 CH-W-IY1 B-OW1 TH-EH0-N JH-OY1-D B-AH1-T SH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T G-EH1 T-M-IY1 AO1-F


i was always confused about why. and a few years later, when drunk at a nightclub.

AY1 W-AA1 Z-AO1 L-W-EY2-Z K-AH0-N F-Y-UW1-Z D-AH0 B-AW1 T-W-AY1 AH0-N D-AH0 F-Y-UW1 Y-IH1-R Z-L-EY1 T-ER0 W-EH1-N D-R-AH1-NG K-AE1 T-AH0 N-AY1-T K-L-AH2-B


i asked her and she said that she didn't know either.

AY1 AE1-S-K-T HH-ER0 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 S-EH1-D DH-AE1-T SH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-N-OW1 IY1 DH-ER0


again, this is, i think down to the policing of heterosexuality.

AH0 G-EH1-N DH-IH1 S-IH1 Z-AY1 TH-IH1-NG-K D-AW1-N T-UW1 DH-AH0 P-AH0 L-IY1 S-IH0 NG-AH1-V HH-EH2 T-ER0 OW0 S-EH0-K SH-AH0 W-AE1 L-IH0 T-IY0


women are supposed to have sex, but not want it. and men are supposed to want sex all the time, but only in a manly way.

W-IH1 M-AH0 N-AA1-R S-AH0 P-OW1-Z-D T-UW1 HH-AE1-V S-EH1-K-S B-AH1 T-N-AA1 T-W-AA1-N T-IH1 T-AH0-N D-M-EH1 N-AA1-R S-AH0 P-OW1-Z-D T-UW1 W-AA1-N-T S-EH1-K S-AO1-L DH-AH0 T-AY1-M B-AH1 T-OW1 N-L-IY0 IH0 N-AH0 M-AE1 N-L-IY0 W-EY1


if you don't fit that manly model, then you have to push your sexuality down.

IH1 F-Y-UW1 D-AA1-N-T F-IH1-T DH-AE1 T-M-AE1 N-L-IY0 M-AA1 D-AH0-L DH-EH1 N-Y-UW1 HH-AE1-V T-UW1 P-UH1 SH-Y-AO1-R S-EH2-K SH-UW0 AE1 L-AH0 T-IY0 D-AW1-N


the best piece of sex education my mum gave me was when i was five years old and myself and another boy at the same age were playing doctors and nurses with his sister and examining each other.

DH-AH0 B-EH1-S-T P-IY1 S-AH1-V S-EH1-K S-EH2 JH-AH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0-N M-AY1 M-AH1-M G-EY1 V-M-IY1 W-AA1 Z-W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1-Z F-AY1 V-Y-IH1-R Z-OW1-L D-AH0-N D-M-AY2 S-EH1-L F-AH0-N D-AH0 N-AH1 DH-ER0 B-OY1 AE1-T DH-AH0 S-EY1 M-EY1 JH-W-ER0 P-L-EY1 IH0-NG D-AA1-K T-ER0 Z-AH0-N D-N-ER1 S-AH0 Z-W-IH1-DH HH-IH1-Z S-IH1-S T-ER0 AH0-N D-IH0-G Z-AE1 M-IH0 N-IH0 NG-IY1 CH-AH1 DH-ER0


everything was cool, and then suddenly it wasn't. we'd overstepped a boundary and she was crying.

EH1 V-R-IY0 TH-IH2 NG-W-AA1-Z K-UW1 L-AH0-N-D DH-EH1-N S-AH1 D-AH0 N-L-IY0 IH1 T-W-AO1-S T-W-EH1 D-OW1 V-ER0-S T-EH2-P T-AH0 B-AW1-N D-ER0 IY0 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 W-AA1-Z K-R-AY1 IH0-NG


i went to find my mum and tell her what was happening. and she came and talked to us and explained the importance of consent and communication.

AY1 W-EH1-N-T T-UW1 F-AY1-N D-M-AY1 M-AH1 M-AH0-N-D T-EH1-L HH-ER0 W-AH1 T-W-AA1-Z HH-AE1 P-AH0 N-IH0 NG-AH0-N-D SH-IY1 K-EY1 M-AH0-N-D T-AO1-K-T T-UW1 AH1 S-AH0-N D-IH0-K-S P-L-EY1-N-D DH-AH0 IH0-M P-AO1-R T-AH0-N S-AH1-V K-AH0-N S-EH1-N T-AH0-N-D K-AH0 M-Y-UW2 N-AH0 K-EY1 SH-AH0-N


she didn't shame any of us. and because of that, her lesson definitely had some impact.

SH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N-T SH-EY1 M-EH1 N-IY0 AH1 V-AH1 S-AH0-N-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AH1-V DH-AE1-T HH-ER0 L-EH1 S-AH0-N D-EH1 F-AH0 N-AH0 T-L-IY0 HH-AE1-D S-AH1 M-IH1-M P-AE0-K-T


i raped my girlfriend because i did not know what rape was.

AY1 R-EY1-P T-M-AY1 G-ER1-L F-R-EH2-N-D B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AY1 D-IH1 D-N-AA1 T-N-OW1 W-AH1 T-R-EY1 P-W-AA1-Z


now, i've cut it for time for this performance, which is already 12 minutes.

N-AW1 AY1-V K-AH1 T-IH1-T F-AO1-R T-AY1-M F-AO1-R DH-IH1-S P-ER0 F-AO1-R M-AH0-N S-W-IH1 CH-IH1 Z-AO0-L R-EH1 D-IY0 T-W-EH1-L V-M-IH1 N-AH0-T-S


i'm sorry to myself. but i was sexually assaulted by a woman when i was younger. and she didn't understand that i wasn't consenting.

IH1-M S-AA1 R-IY0 T-UW1 M-AY2 S-EH1-L-F B-AH1 T-AY1 W-AA1-Z S-EH1-K SH-UW0 AH0 L-IY0 AH0 S-AO1-L T-IH0-D B-AY1 AH0 W-UH1 M-AH0 N-W-EH1 N-AY1 W-AA1 Z-Y-AH1-NG G-ER0 AH0-N-D SH-IY1 D-IH1 D-AH0-N T-AH2-N D-ER0-S T-AE1-N-D DH-AE1 T-AY1 W-AO1-S-T K-AH0-N S-EH1-N T-IH0-NG


i don't have enough fingers to count the amount of people i know who are survivors.

AY1 D-AA1-N-T HH-AE1 V-IH0 N-AH1-F F-IH1-NG G-ER0-Z T-UW1 K-AW1-N-T DH-AH0 AH0 M-AW1-N T-AH1-V P-IY1 P-AH0 L-AY1 N-OW1 HH-UW1 AA1-R S-ER0 V-AY1 V-ER0-Z


and that's just the people who have told me.

AH0-N-D TH-AE1-T-S JH-AH1-S-T DH-AH0 P-IY1 P-AH0-L HH-UW1 HH-AE1-V T-OW1-L D-M-IY1


men don't talk to other men about rape. and we certainly don't talk about consent.

M-EH1-N D-AA1-N-T T-AO1-K T-UW1 AH1 DH-ER0 M-EH1 N-AH0 B-AW1 T-R-EY1 P-AH0-N D-W-IY1 S-ER1 T-AH0 N-L-IY0 D-AA1-N-T T-AO1 K-AH0 B-AW1-T K-AH0-N S-EH1-N-T


men, i know will have raped people. men-

M-EH1 N-AY1 N-OW1 W-IH1-L HH-AE1 V-R-EY1-P-T P-IY1 P-AH0-L M-EH1-N


you know, we'll have raped people. rapists aren't monsters.

Y-UW1 N-OW1 W-EH1-L HH-AE1 V-R-EY1-P-T P-IY1 P-AH0-L R-EY1 P-IH0-S-T S-AA1 R-AH0-N T-M-AA1-N-S T-ER0-Z


they are humans, and generally speaking, they are men.

DH-EY1 AA1-R HH-Y-UW1 M-AH0-N Z-AH0-N-D JH-EH1 N-ER0 AH0 L-IY0-S P-IY1 K-IH0-NG DH-EY1 AA1-R M-EH1-N


why do more men rape?


i think it's because of the power dynamics.

AY1 TH-IH1-NG K-IH1-T-S B-IH0 K-AO1 Z-AH1-V DH-AH0 P-AW1 ER0 D-AY0 N-AE1 M-IH0-K-S