How do you recognize flirting body language? Can you tell if someone is attracted to you? Or are you overreacting to a neutral, friendly gesture? Are there male and female body language signs of attraction based on gender. In the age of #metoo, it is essential to read these body language signs correctly? Otherwise, a genuine gesture of affection can be interpreted as aggression by someone who did not give you the “green light.”
Before I tell you more about the signs of flirting, I want to share some interesting facts about body language. First of all, a definition is in order.
What Is Body Language?
According to a specialist, body language is “the process of using facial expressions, gestures, gaze, tone of voice and postures to send and receive wordless messages.” Thus, whether we are aware of it or not, each of us sends dozens of messages to others by the way we stand, walk, or keep our arms about our bodies.
In most of the cases, the body language confirms and strengthens the message we communicate in speaking. In other cases, however, non-verbal gestures contradict our words.
How Important Is Body Language in Relating to Others?
There is a famous study by Dr. Albert Mehrabian that analyzes the likelihood of people liking a message by the manner it is delivered. Unfortunately, his research was sadly misquoted for decades. What Dr. Mehrabian truly meant, is that likeability is based on this formula:
7% verbal liking + 38% vocal liking + 55% facial liking
This formula shows that 55% of the chances of getting a positive response to our message depend on non-verbal signals.
How Does Body Language Influence Communication?
Now let me show you why body language is important, and not just for identifying signs of flirting. Whenever two or more people carry a conversation, their non-verbal signals create order and facilitate proper understanding in six fundamental ways:
This is one of the key roles of body language because it helps people understand each other by active listening. By looking at someone’s gestures and listening to their tone of voice, we can know whether they are earnest or joking, sarcastic, or sincere.
Also, we can get the cue when they are about to finish talking so that we don’t start talking over them.
A gesture or a glance can say one thousand words. This phrase is an adequate definition of the substitution role of body language.
If you feel like someone has spoken for too long, a roll of the eyes or looking pointedly at the ceiling will transmit your state of boredom more effectively than words (although it might not be a polite way of stating it).
3. Accenting or Moderating
The tone makes the music and the way we say words makes our interlocutor perceive a different message. “Get out of here,” said in a light-hearted manner has the meaning “you must be joking.” When spoken in a stern and loud voice, it is a command to leave the room.
We sometimes use gestures to enhance our words and make people believe us or understand what we say. Opening your arms wide as you say “I have nothing to hide” is a perfect example of this.
The opposite of complementing is when your words say one thing and your non-verbal gestures another. In the previous example, stating “I have nothing to hide” while keeping the hands in the trousers or coat pockets gives the opposite message to the spoken words.
Parents use repeating gestures a lot. “Go to bed,” accompanied by pointing a finger to the bedroom door is an instance.
Explaining someone how to use a copier machine while making gestures indicating how to place the paper and push the button is another example of the repeating role of body language.
How Can You Identify Flirting Body Language?
We have reached now the core of the topic. First of all, it is essential to remember that men and women use different non-verbal signals to show that they are interested in someone.
For this reason, I will share these signs of flirting in two separate categories.
Female Body Language Signs of Attraction
1. Playing with the Hair
This is one of the classic and most powerful female body language signs of attraction. For women with long hair, it manifests as twirling a strand of hair around a finger. For women with short hair, it is all about arranging the fringe and the hair around the ears.
2. Looking Over the Shoulder
This is a “come hither” gesture, especially when a smile accompanies it. The gesture cannot be misinterpreted. It is not a regular, neutral gesture. It requires some effort and a definite decision to perform it.
3. Nostrils Flaring
Female body language signs of attraction are not always obvious, and this is one example. In the case of women with naturally wide nostrils, it is more difficult to notice this sign of flirting.
However, it is most likely to occur as you are talking face to face, so you have ample opportunities to look at her properly from close quarters.
4. Invading Your Personal Space
Does she stand close or lean it for you? Did she draw the chair nearer to yours? Then she is most definitely interested.
This is one of the loud and clear female body language signs of attraction. By invading your personal space, she is also reducing hers.
5. She Touches Your Arm While Speaking
Here, you have to be careful. Some people are naturally physical when engaged in talking. They make their point by patting your arm or pointing at your chest.
But if a woman repeatedly touches your arm or hand while talking to you, this is her non-verbal way of betraying that she likes you.
Male Body Language Signs of Attraction
1. Raised Eyebrow
For men, this is one of the classics signs of flirting. It means “I am intrigued by you and interested in you.” Just to be on the safe side, make sure an ironic smile does not accompany it. In that case, it is a sign of being puzzled by what you said, not flirting body language.
2. Arranging the Tie
A man who keeps fidgeting with his tie displays one of the obvious male body language signs of attraction. He wants to make a good impression because he likes you, so he keeps grooming his attire.
3. Showing Off
From times immemorial, males competed for females. This happens in all the species. When you see two lions engaged in a fight, the reason is a lioness. The same goes for the peacocks showing off their brightly colored tails. They don’t fight, but they show off their charms. So do men.
If a man is trying to impress you with his knowledge, skills, or athletic prowess – this is flirting body language.
4. Continuous Eye Contact
This is yet one of the classic male body language signs of attraction. He is constantly looking into your eyes, either from a distance or as you are talking face to face.
5. Standing Tall
Men take this power pose in two situations: to intimidate an opponent or to impress the woman they are attracted to. If you are not his opponent, then you know for sure that he likes you if he tries to look as tall and impressive as he can.