Want to encourage more kindness in your children? Think about the type of words used in your home 🏡! Sticks and stones may break bones, but words CAN really hurt, too...
Sometimes, words can hurt more than spanking.
Many parents don’t spank or hit their kids, but may be just as hurtful with their words. They may do it because it works- it can make kids change their behavior. But behavior change that comes from hurt – physical or emotional – isn’t long-term effective behavior change.
As parents, we have to use kind words, even when we are frustrated and angry. Yell less, or hopefully don’t yell at all.
Instead of getting angry, label behavior. Just call it exactly what it is. Don't label the child for goodness sake, but label the behavior.
These days we are much better at giving consequences without yelling or anger. If there’s hitting, I just say, “That’s not kind,” and send the child somewhere to think about it. Older kids often can write an note or apology letter reflecting on their behavior while they are thinking about what happened.
Sometimes we give out extra chores, make kids do chores for someone they have offended, or use natural consequences (ie: if you ruined something, you need to help fix it).
Unkind words are not acceptable between siblings, either. There is no freedom of speech inside our home.
I don’t subscribe to, “sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.”
We give consequences for being a mean sibling, and ask our kids to think about why they wanted to be mean.
I do explain to my kids, though, that in the world outside the home people have freedom of speech, and it’s legal to say mean things, and we still can’t hit back.
Just remember that words CAN hurt. Be the example you want your kids to be!! ❤️🌈❤️