Bullies are finally getting the attention they deserve in our general discourse; anyone who has been a victim to bullying knows that a bully has no trouble getting attention interpersonally. I was struck by a recent story on a student that was repeatedly bullied at her high school in person and online. This person, Sarah, posted a note to Reddit complaining and explaining her plight of being bullied and having the school do nothing about it. The bully apparently had a roster of victims, was quite well known to all and liked by most. Prior reports of bullying fell on deaf ears.
Sarah posted that “The cyber bullying has gotten to the point where the school will not take any action unless I kill myself. Reddit- how do I get my story out and make this stop?”
Following this post, Sarah got the attention she needed to improve her situation. The world wide web came to her rescue in the form of bombarding her high school administrators with emails and citations. We have been assured that the bully problem has been addressed. This time.
I am happy that bullying and bully prevention are taking a prominent role in our educational system, like domestic violence, it has often been a sticky social situation that no one really wanted to deal with – I mean, kids will be kids, right? Wrong! Bullying happens for a reason, it is a red flag waiting to be attended to. The bully has some serious “issues” and the longer they go unaddressed, the more that bully will cause “issues” for their victims.
High schoolers are certainly not the only one with “issues”, they are in good company. Bullying comes from fear and insecurity. If you feel that you are in a weak position physically or mentally, bullying can shake up that frame and -temporarily – put you in a position of power. Take a look at the above photo.
A woman with her back turned is being pulled backwards by the hair – I thought that kind of thing was reserved for bad kitsch surrounding cliché caveman pictures. I am wondering how this NYPD cop might justify his actions against this Occupier. I’m guessing that it was not necessary, that the cop was not reprimanded or punished. Bullying is often encouraged in the ranks of police – perhaps even seeked out in recruits. If our “finest” can do this without reproach, why wouldn’t our children see this as an example of good behavior?
Our foreign policy has also been in the bully mode. It has softened a bit with Obama in office, but the cowboy policies put in place by G.W. Bush have been maintained by Obama. What goes for the rest of the world, does not go for America – we expect special treatment and favoritism even as we posture and flaunt our military might (from a weakened position). Our latest renegade terrorist -Robert Bales – is treated with kid gloves while presumed terrorists from Afghanistan still await even charges sitting in Guantanamo Bay. If other countries treated American “suspects” like we have treated foreign “suspects”, well, we might have just started another war about that.
For some people, beating someone into submission is the ultimate right answer. It ends the discussion and shuts the opponent up. Barring violence, the next best thing would be to lock them away in isolation so that no one can hear their side of the story. This is what an absolutist attitude will do for you. When you believe the world is all black or white, right or wrong, you begin to believe that “any means necessary” to achieve that “right” answer is justifiable. In America we celebrate this quite a bit.
Our sports teams are less about good sportsmanship and the spirit of the game, more about “kickin’ butt!” or more likely “pulverizing” the opponent, “creaming” them, or at the very least, “beating” them. Superficially, this might be harmless, but we know it can become actually destructive when you see riots follow big upsets or violence between rival fans.
Our politics are also pretty cut throat. While on the house floor, congressional members might refer to their “honorable and esteemed colleagues” through gritted teeth, on the campaign trail, the gloves come off and courtesy goes out the window.
The movie “Bowling for Columbine” pointed out how one of the most horrific violent tragedies that unfolded on a high school campus, came from an area that had a Lockheed Martin facility – a war weapons manufacturer. The line is drawn between institutionalized violence and the violent choices made by two teenaged boys who became the judge and executioner for 13 humans and terrorized an entire community.
As mentioned last Friday, an entire faction of Republicans, wants to take away the resources to help victims of domestic violence combat their bullies.
Trayvon Martin was gunned down for walking home in (his own) gated community (the story here). His perpetrator was an adult, white, “neighborhood watch captain” with a record of power tripping. Apparently the killer may not even be arrested though the circumstances of the killing seem like he committed manslaughter at the least. How can we expect deadly bullying to stop when our laws and authorities don’t even require it?
The principles behind progressivism strongly involve empathy and democracy. Becoming militant, authoritarian, and intolerant means getting locked into black and white thinking – it means becoming what you say you abhor. If someone is acting in that way, they are not acting in a progressive way – they are regressing. Conservative thought proudly offers up “correct” answers and actively pushes for that worldview. Conservatives have a shorter ideological distance to travel to become a bully, because they already live with a black and white (not shades of grey) world.
The truth is that we are all progressive and conservative in our own ways. We all want to think that we have formed our opinions based on complete and relevant information, once those opinions are reached, we want others to think our way. Progressives get a bit conservative when they stubbornly adhere to their opinion and conservatives get progressive when a real world situation is the exception to their ideological rule. Bullying may be an American past time, but it’s not one to be proud of. Are we able, as Americans, to stop the bullying? Can we break the pattern and get out of the habit? Can we teach our children something we ourselves have not yet mastered?