CHOOSING YOUR DREAM HOME AND JUNGIAN PSYCHOLOGY
CHOOSING YOUR DREAM HOME AND JUNGIAN PSYCHOLOGY
Perhaps you or someone you know has had the experience of buying a home they were totally enamored with, and after moving, they began to see, day after day, how this just wasn’t the right home for them. They had fallen into a trap they hadn’t seen. The initial interest in this house turned out to be a flash in the pan.
THE TOLL ON YOUR SPIRITUAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL HEALTH
I’ve known a number of families who’ve made this unfortunate experience. Our serious focus is warranted, as the unforeseen consequences can be very dire indeed. For one, your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health can suffer. You become depressed living in a house that is not right for you. The hidden costs of health issues can be long-term, expensive, and psychologically wearing beyond imagining.
THE FINANCIAL AND TIME LOST COSTS
Consider the fact that, once moved into a house that really does not speak to you, you will sooner or later need to move again. What are the financial costs? The time delay costs? Again, there will be psychological costs. Contemplate that some individuals and families continually buy the wrong house for themselves, so they end up moving every year or two. This psychological disruption alone is very taxing on families, often leading to separation and divorce, not to mention lost finances through moving expenses, an extra four months of mortgage payments, and lost time.
HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
It happens to us all when we don’t slow down, cogitate, meditate and listen to our deepest feelings and intuition. When we don’t know ourselves all that well, we experience a disconnect and fall into traps -- often buying unsuitable houses, just as we can attract an undesirable life partner. If this has ever happened to you, recall the psychological pain in giving ourselves away, not listening to our deeper needs, and falling into the same old traps.
LIVING YOUR PARENT’S DREAM
The hidden pattern for us often lies multi-generationally within our grandparents and parents. Some folks are always looking to buy the home they visited or knew when they were young, to recapture childhood. Although intriguing, this choice is never healthy nor sustaining for our ongoing growth. This could be a parental home, relative’s summer cottage or other abode.
There is a syndrome whereby we unconsciously choose to live our parent’s unlived lives. The motivation for this is an early, manipulative power trip on the part of our parents, intimidation, the sense of a lost childhood, and misguided nostalgia. Again, these past-oriented, neurotic choices create havoc for us, as we end up in a house that we bought for someone else, not ourselves.
PSYCHOLOGY AND BUYING YOUR OWN DREAM HOME
Carl Jung was a great Swiss doctor-psychiatrist who revolutionized self-awareness, the union of the soul and personality, mostly through dream work. How often do you remember your dreams, write them down, and live your life by them? Dreams are the most powerful way to know your Self, your hidden inner immortal aspect.
Dreams are the wishes of the soul, and your soul knows exactly which home would be most energetically sustaining and healing for you to live in. Jungian Psychology is also called Depth Psychology as it gets you in touch with your depths, your archetypal realities and how these play out in your life. There are various aspects to Jungian Psychology: the persona or outer mask/s; the ego; the anima (soul); the animus (creative side); the shadow, the Self. In another article, we’ll consider the 12 major archetypes of our natures and how they “fit” into our Soul Dream Home.
THE GLITZY PERSONA HOUSE
This kind of house shines and bedazzles on the outside, and inside the bones and function just may not be there. It is all about a flashy persona or mask-like house that entices the Joneses in the neighbourhood but is not a great house to live or entertain in. It is frill over form and function. Frill never lasts long in appeal.
As we get older, we hopefully realize that ego is learned, and soul is innate. When we let it, our soul shines through as we mature. It’s our soul knows what we need in a home, not really our ego. It’s not about copying what others say we need, it’s unique and authentic to ourselves.
Whereas Ego Houses can be cookie-cutter houses, Soul Homes are one-of-a-kind, classy, elegant, grounded, earthy, soulful, warm, engaging and creative places to come alive. Here are a few tips to finding your Soul Dream Home:
Please write down some Wish List features about your dream home. This will help you get some good ideas for what you'd like your dream home to be. Each person in the family can make their own Wish List and then get together and discuss commonalities and individual needs.
In my/our home, I would like:
Some Extras I would like:
Draw your dream home and garden. Colour in the rooms and amenities.
BALANCING YOUR NEEDS IN A HOME
According to psychology, it’s important to remember to have space for the various aspects of your life, particularly your masculine “doing” and your receptive “being” natures. When looking for a home, decide which spaces and rooms can be utilized for the following under your doing side: a garden, a workshop for hobbies, a sport and workout gym room, an entertainment and games room (for instance with pool table, board games, darts), laundry room,
family room, music and art room. When home-hunting, consider areas where you can just be, relax, regenerate and refresh: a cozy master bedroom, meditation and yoga room, library, reading room, conservatory, balcony off your bedroom, sunroom, and crafts room.
LIFE CYCLE STAGES AND OUR CHANGES
Recall that as we go through successive seven-year cycles our needs and choices change us. This is not just moving from an extended family with children at home to an “empty nest,” it’s thinking about changing our spaces and their uses. Maybe after the kids leave, we do need space and time for hobbies, art, crafts, and music.
It’s more than this, though. Jung used to say, he didn’t know one person whose major goal after age 35 years was not to find their inner spiritual nature. Your Soul Home would best give you these feelings and meet these needs. At this time and beyond, consider a grounded, inspiring, colourful, aesthetic and meditative home. You may also need bedrooms and playrooms for the grandchildren.
BUYING AND CREATING A “HEALTHY HOME”
Whether you’ll be buying and selling a few more homes during your lifetime, or this will be your last home, you need to consider the psychological effects of the kind of house you’re buying. Here’s a checklist:
We spend so much time, money and effort in looking for a really satisfying and sustaining home. Taking time to focus on positive psychological aspects will make all the difference about how you feel in your “in the zone” home over the years to come.