This week I was fortunate to be able to present my work with alienated children and their families at a seminar at the House of Commons which was sponsored by Andrew Selous MP and Chaired by the High Court Judge Sir Paul Coleridge. The key presenter for the event was Professor Nick Bala from Canada who has written and published widely on the issue of differentiation in cases of alienation and I was privileged to be able to present my work both in front of him and other mental health and legal professionals working in the field. Also presenting was Dr Mark Berelowitz, a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist at the Royal Free Hospital.
The event was organised as a follow up to a seminar held two years ago in which Professor Nick Bala presented some of his research findings and his work in contributing to the understanding of the field of high conflict divorce and separation and alienation. I attended that seminar in 2010 and took much of what Professor Bala said then and more recently and shaped this into my practice with families. It was, therefore, a significant event for me, in that I had the opportunity to demonstrate how his work on differentiation, can be translated into a model of work for the UK. I am delighted to be able to say that the response to my presentation was extremely positive, both from the Professor himself and other professionals who attended the seminar.
There was a great deal of interest at the event on the issue of alienation and also on the issue of court management of cases where alienation occurs. Andrew Selous was very encouraging in his support of change within the court system and Sir Paul Coleridge spoke in a very determined manner about the way in which the ‘three strikes and you are out’ approach is essential. His comments on intractable cases were unequivocal, they are damaging to children. I was encouraged by both his understanding of the ways in which there are similar features in the cases and the reality that strong court management and enforcement are key tools in the prevention and cure of the issue.
Professor Bala was incredibly lucid in his presentation, not only about the issue of alienation but about its impact and about the way in which it arises. He was explicit about the roots of alienation, which is not that mothers are more likely to alienate, because it is a fact that fathers do it too. The root cause of the alienation reaction, no matter what route it takes to become fully establised, is the residence and contact model of post separation legislation that dominates our culture in the UK. He was also very critical of the delay in our courts and the lack of co-ordinated enforcement strategies. He also discussed the problem of the feminist academics who wrongly interpret data from overseas to prevent a more egalitarian model of post separation support being introduced in this country.
The residence and contact model of support is, of course, the critical point at which power and control over children is established when a family separates. Tying it neatly into the receipt of Child Benefit was a tactically brilliant way of ensuring that mothers had first dibs on who has power because that benefit is still paid overwhelmingly to the mother. Another clever tactic, built into the language of post separation legislation is the whole concept of custody and access, now called variously care and contact, primary carer and non resident parent. Although soon to be abolished, the terms residence and contact will, without doubt, continue to be used as labels to stick on parents and, because the primary and none primary carer model will still be denoted through the receipt of Child Benefit, the problem of who has power will continue.
In cases where alienation is present the issue of power is key. Whether alienation arises because of unresolved conflict between two parents or whether it arises because of deliberate and determined actions on the part of one parent against the other, it is always the case that children who are alienated have parents who are struggling over the power to be or not to be a parent in their lives. Alienation is a reaction that strikes children who are elevated to the position of adult in a family system, they are children who have been invested with too much power. Sometimes the power is handed to the child because parents cannot stop fighting and the child has to take control and manage the conflict through withdrawal, sometimes it is because children have been given power by one parent acting against the other. Whatever the cause the problem is that the power that the parents once had in the family system has been misdirected to the child and the whole concept of residence and contact, placing one parent in control over the other is, without doubt, a contributing factor to this problem.
So much of what Professor Bala says makes sense and I will write in more detail about his thinking later. I have done a great deal of work in the two years since I last heard him speak, in translating his differentiation model into a model for work in the UK and for me, the event allowed me to both share my practice and hear more about his progress and his thinking. To that end I felt privileged and honored to be considered good enough to do that and it has encouraged us to be bold in plans to commence a research programme with colleagues and evaluate the model we use at CSF further so that we can contribute to the field both internationally and at home.
There was of course a resistance to what was a really interesting and positive event, where the issue of parental alienation felt accepted and acknowledged and we were able to think about the issues in a supportive environment. The resistence came, as it often does, in the guise of CAFCASS, this time the Chair of CAFCASS Baroness Tyler who when challenged about the lack of training and awareness and the unskilled approach used by Family Court Practitioners told us that it is not the case that CAFCASS do not understand this issue, in fact it is the case that there are far more residence orders given to fathers these days and CAFCASS recommend residence orders for fathers and mothers on a more or less equal basis.
Given that Professor Bala was explicit in his presentation about the problem of residence and contact being a major contributor to the problem of alienation,her comment missed the point completely but what Baroness Tyler also failed to tell us was how she comes to know that her staff are recommending residence orders equally, a ‘fact’ that she stated so confidently and so breezily.
We know, for example, that there are no records kept of who gets residence in the family courts and so it cannot be from there that she garners her knowledge. The only other way she could be so definite and so unequivocal about the issue of who gets residence was if CAFCASS are keeping records of what is being recommended by their workers, something I very much doubt. But you can bet I will be following it up with a letter both to the Baroness herself and her head of service Anthony Douglas.
Apart from that short deviation (when all in the room appeared to stare in astonished disbelief, both at the lack of understanding of the root of the problem and the breath taking arrogance so common to the upper echelons of CAFCASS), the event demonstrated that the issue of alienation is increasingly being accepted, as is the need for the kind of court management that will prevent it. It was, I hope, the first of many more opportunities to educate and inform and who knows, one day we might even pierce the fog of the obfuscation that appears to be the order of the day in the management of CAFCASS.
Professor Bala told us that alienation damages children and that intervention is critical. He spoke of his interest and support of the Australian model and the importance for the UK of moving and modernising our understanding of the separated family and its needs. Strong court management, strong enforcement and swift intervention. If Sir Paul Coleridge has his way, those who deliberately misinterpret orders will have three chances before they are out. Perhaps the government might consider applying that approach to CAFCASS itself leaving the rest of us to get on and do the work that we know makes the difference for children.