In the coming weeks we might all be able to start returning to pre-COVID-19 activities. But how do we feel about that? Are we anxious about possibly exposing ourselves to risks we don't fully understand? We have been told ‘staying home = being safe’ and because our brain is good at making associations, we might easily find ourselves thinking ‘going out = unsafe’. This could understandably lead to a level of fear and anxiety. But how might this fear hinder us?
Fear stops us from doing things. Simple. At times this keeps us alive. Fear of falling to our death keeps us away from the cliff edges. Fear of burning ourselves stops us reaching into the firepit to rescue the marshmallow that has fallen off the stick. But sometimes our thoughts tell our brain that the danger is bigger than it really is. But we get the same ‘Don’t do it’ message from our brain and so we avoid it. We might think ‘the spider will eat me’, so our brain says, ‘Well don’t go in the shed then’. We then get a lovely, comfy sense of relief at not having had to face that fear. But this is like rewarding a child for not doing homework they believed was too hard, and they feared they would fail.
- Pupil: ‘Sir, I’ve not done my homework because it was too hard.’
- Teacher: ‘Well done, by not doing it you did not fail, here’s a star sticker for not failing’.
Do you see how this pans out? We learn that the ‘not doing’ is the solution to the fear. But this keeps us very stuck and the fear untested.
We might feel fear about getting back to activities we have stopped doing because of COVID- 19. Some things might take longer for us to be allowed to do and we shouldn’t go against government advice and rules. But once we are given the all clear to do things such as using buses, going to work, going to school, simply being out of the house more and all those things we used to do with no thought of danger, we might feel some fear. But not returning to activities we have been told we can do and want to do is not the answer. Be kind to yourself while your brain unlearns the fear and relearns ‘this is ok’. Take it a step at a time. Don’t jump in at the deep end if that feels too scary. And reward yourself for facing the fear, give yourself a pat on the back, or maybe even a star sticker. (Picture by daniel-thiele and stephane-mingot from unsplash)