My apologies for blog radio silence for a few months. I've been having a period of reading rather than writing, learning rather than teaching--of taking in rather than putting stuff out there.
I've been researching primarily based on a question that has become a major area of interest for me: what kinds of activities or practices best augment psychotherapy? One very straightforward way of expressing the question I've been asking is:
Someone comes to therapy and spends money on it. What can a person do in between these 1-hour-a-week sessions to get the most benefit from that hour?
Or even more straightforward:
What can I tell my clients to do to make therapy work better?
Or really bluntly:
How can I make sure clients are getting the most for their money?
There are some great classic answers to these questions... Here are a few:
Contemplation and Creative Expression
For a long time, it's been clear to therapists like me that pursuits like art, writing, talking about personal stuff with warm friends and other forms of introspection, self-reflexion and self-expression help. What works best depends on the person. Some people draw or paint. Others write. Journaling is great. I often even just encourage people to have a white board they write things they're thinking, their goals, dreams, ideas. In a busy world, this helps a person focus on what's really important.
Likewise, research suggests that for mild to moderate depression and anxiety, different forms of physical exercise may actually be the most effective intervention. Oriental medicine chimes in that moderation is key.
Likewise, In some cases, taking a good medication is an indispensable adjunct to therapy: if someone is in such rough shape that they can't focus during therapy sessions or can't look at what's happening easily, therapy won't go far. It's like trying to have an important conversation with loud music on: first thing to do is turn down the music. Of course--in my view anyway, the long term idea is to eliminate (or at least significantly reduce) medication.
Sometimes I will recommend a book. This can work in a number of different ways. The most straightforward way is that I might recommend a book that talks about some of the issues we're talking about in therapy, or which connects to a technique we're using. I recommend some books on my website. Feel free to check them out.
Sometimes, I'll also recommend a book that's less straightforward. For instance, I might recommend a fiction book or a book of essays. When I do this, I'm usually thinking about a client's need for a certain kind of psychological nourishment. If this sounds woo-woo, you should take it literally instead of figuratively: just like our bodies need good food, so do our minds. A good story provides nourishment. Put another way, reading a story can make someone feel less alone, or it can give someone strength, or even provide a map for how things could work out. This is necessary sometimes. Just like a person needs good food to heal from a physical injury or in order to gain muscle, a person needs good psychological food to recover from a psychological injury or to grow strong psychologically. Actually: good (physical) food helps a lot too.
Continuing the session...
There are also some more subtle things: one of my favorite therapists and I would often talk about the process of internalizing one's therapist. Or as I sometimes frame it to my clients: "even though you have to leave my office, you should take me home and continue therapy by yourself. Think about what we've talked about. Continuing talking. Imagine me responding. Then, when you come back, tell me about our conversations."
What this really speaks to, of course, is something we all do: we rehearse and imagine conversations with people. If you have a skilled therapist that you like, no matter what kind of therapy you're doing, you'll probably find yourself doing this.
Rather than proof of some kind of psychotic process, this is a good thing (as long as you're aware your therapist isn't actually in your head). What you're really doing is continuing the session. When you come back and talk about your conversations (as I suggest) you're honing your internal imagine.
Effectively you're crafting your own internal therapist--one not limited to a regimented hourly schedule. And isn't what anyone who felt alone with a world of hurt has always wanted?--someone with wisdom and caring closer than their own nose?
One of my major interests, of course, is meditation and other mental practices as an adjunct to therapy. I've studied mindfulness based approaches in great depth over the years. Likewise, of course, loving kindness (metta) practice, after which this blog is named. There are (of course) other practices. I will write more about some soon.