Spoiler alert: wine is not the answer
I know the feeling: You’re overwhelmed by work and all you want to do is stay in bed all day. I hate to break it to you, but life is just going to be like that sometimes. Busyness is a part of business. You can choose to give in to those feelings, or you can choose to fight them: get up early, go and exercise, and get your work done.
I know that’s easier said than done, especially when you’re super busy. So what’s the secret? Keeping your energy high.
It helps me stay happy despite writing a book, doing podcast recordings, and launching my flagship course all at the same time. If you struggle with this, it’s probably not a motivation problem. Motivation ebbs and flows – that’s how it works. You’re probably just leaking energy because you don’t have the right habits in place.
So to make sure you have the right tools in your toolbox when the time comes, I’m going to share my four-step framework with you to help you keep your energy high and stay on top of your game.
Ready? Let’s go!
Step 1 – Feel your feelings
Many of us have a tendency to hold back our tears and try to be strong when something bad happens. As a little girl with three brothers, I was taught that it was weak to be sensitive and even worse to cry. So when I start to well up, it’s almost an instinct to stop myself from crying. But I've learned that welling up actually means you just need to get those tears out of your system. And you know what? Crying is amazing. It’s almost like having an orgasm – okay, not quite but it can give you a huge release.
The same goes for moving your body. I read a book a while ago called ‘Burnout’ by the Nagoski sisters which is all about how you can prevent burnout and work through it. We deal with a lot of emotions that get stored in our bodies and we don't work through them. There are many ways you can cope with this: hugging people, talking to friends, connecting, and laughing just to name a few. But the easiest way to release your emotions, bad feelings and energy is to move your body.
So I’ve learned that when I’m swamped, I need to start moving my body until my physical stress starts disappearing. Sometimes stress enters my brain because something bad has happened, and my brain wants to move on. But my body's like ‘Dude, you haven’t resolved this yet’. Moving can help release the stress and trauma stored in your body. I do that through swimming and walking – I even bought a treadmill desk. It helps me calm down when my head feels like exploding and allows my body to relax when I'm done.
Teaching yourself to move can be great, but so can taking a bath. The important thing to remember is that allowing your body to work through your feelings goes a long way in relaxing your mind. And when your mind is at peace it’s a lot easier to keep your energy high.
Step 2 – Call in support
I’ve started to get better at reaching out and calling in support when I’m feeling angry or sad. I usually do that by calling my mom. I still find it difficult at times to pick up the phone and tell her how I’m really feeling, because I've always been the person in my family who could handle anything. Or at least it came across that way – it wasn't always true. And it made sense that my family would think that because I never used to open up.
But opening up has really helped me and brought me closer to my mom and other people. For example, my best friend Jessica and I just went away for a weekend. She has this chronic disease that she deals with amazingly but still leads to back pain and migraines. A massage can do wonders for her but she’d never asked me if I could help her before – I’m actually pretty good at giving massages. So when she couldn’t book a massage on our trip, I offered to do it instead and the next day she felt so much better. We entered a new level of friendship, even though we’ve literally seen each other naked a thousand times – okay, I’m oversharing.
Let your environment know how you're feeling and they’ll be able to show up for you. When they don't know, they can’t help you.
So call in support. It doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human.
Step 3 – Reframe your thoughts
When my alarm clock went off this morning, I was like ‘Shit I'm so, so tired’. But I only allowed myself to think that way for a few seconds and reminded myself about all the great things to look forward to. I get to record today. I get to work with really fun people. My hair and makeup are being taken care of, so I don't even have to do that. When you don't watch yourself talk, it’s easy to spiral and fall into the trap of just complaining about everything. But reframing your thoughts means you focus on what you’re grateful for, and helps you appreciate the opportunities you get and people around you.
So the next time you have a fully booked calendar, you could think ‘I hate being so busy’. But you could also focus on how grateful you are that your business is doing so well and that you get to work with so many amazing people. You can even reframe the way you look at paying bills. Instead of thinking ‘Oh my God, I have so many bills to pay’, you could also be grateful that you are in a financial position to cover all those costs and to fix things in the house if they need repairing.
Reframing your thoughts and being grateful will attract more positivity. I posted about this on my Instagram Stories the other day and someone asked me if reframing your thoughts goes against feeling your feelings. That's a really great question, but the short answer is: no, it’s not mutually exclusive. You can feel your feelings when bad things happen, but often we make things so much bigger than they need to be and that’s when reframing comes in handy.
Step 4 – Make decisions faster
For many people, making decisions is one of the biggest bottlenecks in their business. When you don't make a decision, you're stuck. You lose time in your already busy day and build up negative energy going over the same thing. If you make decisions quickly, you stop yourself from losing energy unnecessarily, so you can focus on more important things.
This is one of the biggest things I'm working on this year. You might not expect it, but I feel like I'm a bit too slow in my decision-making sometimes. That probably has to do with the fact that my dad and Jessica are incredibly good at making fast decisions, while I’m someone who likes to mull over things. So I’ll be like ‘Let me think about it and I'll circle back’. But my business is growing so fast that I can't do that anymore.
Sometimes we have to admit that deep down we’ve already made the decision, but we're just not good at communicating it and taking action. For example, when I see something in my calendar that's double booked a week away. I know what needs to happen and which meeting to cancel but I delay talking about it with the people involved. It’s on my mind, but I don't act on it. That’s literally the worst thing you can do. It brings a lot more pain later down the line, because you’re so much more stressed when you have to deliver the news on the day itself.
And it’s not just about making decisions. It’s also about following through and moving on. It’s so easy to procrastinate or to keep going back over the same decision. For example, my team and I were recently trying to set a price for one of our programs. We came up with an initial price and discussed that for a little while. It would have been easy to keep going back and forth, but we probably would have ended up settling on the initial price anyway so we just set that price. When you make decisions, you move forward.
Following these four steps will change your life and business. You’ll feel more resilient and be ready to tackle every day with positive energy. Just think about how much more work you could get done!