Be Gentle with Yourself
Seriously. This is one of the most important lessons to learn for yourself.
I will say it again to let it sink in before I go into detail:
Be gentle with yourself.
One of the first things that we learn in life, is the golden rule, “do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
With this, we learn that we should treat other people with respect and dignity and grace and kindness because this is the way that we wish for people to treat us. Of course, that is not always how people treat us, but that is another story. The missing key point how you should treat yourself.
We are not taught self compassion, self love, or the importance of self care. In most situations, by the time a person is enlightened to the necessity for self care, self love, and compassion for themselves; they have a whole lifetime of conditioning that has taught them NOT to put themselves first.
Even as I write these words, I have to remind myself that I need time for my own self care. I have a terrible habit of putting my family and friends and my clients first.
I have spent many years thinking of myself last. I would spend all day long taking care of my work and my clients. Then I would come home and take care of my family and my home. If I was lucky, I would spend a little bit of time watching a show that I liked before I would go to bed each night.
When I would take a little bit of time for myself, and attempt relaxation, I would find that I had aches and pains all over my body. It felt like I did not know how to relax.
After years of putting everyone else’s needs before my own, it was difficult for me to make real changes for myself. It felt like I was being selfish, if I wanted to take a long bath or go to the store alone.
I still remind myself sometimes, that it is not selfish to put myself and my needs first…you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you help others.
It really sank in with me when I learned the science of what happens in our body’s when we are in a stress response. If you want to read more about that READ HERE, to find out if your body is running from a bear.
Basically, when we are under stress or anxiety of any kind our bodies go into an instinctual stress response designed to protect us from predators; called fight or flight. When our stress is happening all day, every day, and we do not take time for proper self care the consequences of being in a chronic stress response can lead to very serious health issues.
Please, take some time for yourself today (and every day). Put your oxygen mask on and be gentle with yourself.
For those who feel the way that I did before, with difficulty making time for yourself and knowing how to relax when you do; you are the people that I am here for.
I am here to be a guide to people who need an extra helping hand to develop appropriate and effective self care routines to fit you as an individual. I help people learn to put themselves first and unlearn the unhealthy compulsions that keep their bodies in a chronic state of stress response.