Last week, just as we were tucking into Sunday lunch, a woman eye-balled me across the table and said with real venom: "I will spit on anyone who calls homosexuality a sin." I believed her! She's probably the most forthright woman I've ever met. She knew I was a minister (as did everyone else at the table) and she watched very closely for a response.
I'd done some thinking on the topic, so I gave her the edited highlights of this...
The bible thinks of homosexuality quite like the way we think of eating disorders. It’s a disordering of a person’s relationship to sex and sexuality, the way anorexia is a disordering of a person’s relationship to food and the body.
Are there environmental factors? Loads of them.
Are only some people weirdly disordered and others ‘normal’? No, we all exist somewhere on a spectrum of weirdness.
Does the disorder present itself as a straightforwardly chosen lifestyle? Very often. In fact Pro-Anorexia (Pro Ana) websites stridently assert that it's a bold and noble choice.
Is it a choice? Well, it's a lot more complicated than that.
Do Christians also struggle with the disorder? Indeed they do.
Do they slip into this disordered behaviour, sometimes for long periods. Yes.
Can all Christians expect ‘total healing’ from the disorder? Well we've already said that everyone exists somewhere on the spectrum of weirdness. Difficulties will often remain throughout life, though some may know large degrees of freedom.
Should we approach the issue with an attitude of fear and condemnation? Please no.
But – here’s the thing – Can a person be an active champion for the disorder and claim Christian justification? No. That would be like having a Christian Pro Ana website. What a truly horrible thought! That would be to confirm someone in a deeply disordered and harmful condition and to do so in Jesus name. Christians are rightly horrified by the suggestion. Not because they hate those with the disorder but because they love them.
And if you've ever tried to help someone with a disordered behaviour you'll know - you won't be thanked for trying to help them out of it. But it's still the loving thing to do.
So anyway, I outlined this kind of thinking to my lunch companion. She responded, and I quote, "You are refuted by the latest science. Scientists have discovered a gay gene."
I said "Well we can discuss what a gay gene might mean, but I've got no problem in principle with a gay gene. But think about this: they might also discover an 'anorexia gene' too. There's a very high correlation between certain hereditary bowel conditions and anorexia. I'd be surprised if they didn't find that certain genes significantly predispose you to an eating disorder. It's still a disorder don't you think?"
"I suppose," she said, and then discussed how lovely her gay friends were. I told her mine were too and we enjoyed the rest of our meal. Spittle free!
Just thought I'd share the eating disorders analogy with you because I've found it helpful.