A team player is dependable, responsible, considerate of others, and always gives their best effort. Who doesn’t want that for their kids? Here’s how to inspire your little one’s co-operative skills …
Four to six-year-olds
1 Team family
The first, and most important, team your child is part of is your family, so give them a position to play.
Even young children are capable of pitching in – and they should understand that they’re doing it because they’re members of Team Family, not for extra rewards.
House look like a whirlwind has swept through after a playdate? Get the kids to put the Lego back in the box, and the drinking cups in the dishwasher. You can even make it a competition – kids versus parents at the weekend; who can tidy their room the fastest?
2 Daily team talk
Help your child feel like a valued member of Team Family by making time to sit round and talk about your day – dinnertime can be a good time.
Ask your children about their day, and don’t be put off if they say they did nothing. Or ask them what the funniest, or most interesting thing, that happened today was - they are more likely to respond.
If they’re still not saying anything, you could model the behaviour by telling them what you got up to. Recounting how you met someone rude, helpful, or funny can prompt them to tell you a similar story, and reinforces the feeling that you’re all in this together.
3 Go camping
Camping is a great way to make children feel like one of the gang.
They can help pitch the tent (allow extra time for their ‘help’ …), pack the car with the things you’ll need, and even get involved with the cooking around the campfire.
Importantly, it also teaches kids to respect the needs of others – an important skill in a team player – like being quiet at night, and taking turns in the shower block. Check out our list of UK campsites.
Seven to eight-year-olds
1 Start a secret club
Kids love to feel as though they belong, and there’s no greater way of feeling that than by creating their own ‘secret club’.
Encourage them to set up a fun club with a group of friends. Together, they’ll need to discuss the club rules, secret passwords, den layouts for the clubhouse, and more.
The tricky thing for children of this age can be agreeing on all these things, so take time to explain to your child that part of being in a club means thinking about what the other club members like, too.
2 Put on a play
Give a small group of children a bag full of fancy dress (they don’t have to be proper costumes, in fact, a random selection of old clothes will give young imaginations more freedom), and ask them to put on a show later that day.
Together, they need to plan a story, put out chairs for the audience, and can even make programmes. Setting a time limit means they learn how teamwork is needed to meet a deadline.
3 Join a team
There’s no better way of learning to contribute to a team than being part of one.
Choirs, Cubs, Brownies, and drama groups will all give your child the opportunity of working with others.
Sports teams are particularly good, because children can learn the value of every position on a team – even the star striker can’t score a goal without his midfield support. It also teaches them about commitment – ask them to think about how their teammates will feel if they don't want to turn up for practice.
Nine to 11-year-olds
1 Play the blindfold game
This game teaches children that sometimes they have to rely on the help of others, and the importance of listening.
One player is blindfolded, while the other is his ‘eyes’, guiding him through an obstacle course with spoken commands.
You can even set up teams, with each team of two competing to finish the course in the fastest time, or have a group directing the blindfolded player, so they have to work together and not all shout out at once.
2 Lose – and shake hands with the winner
One of the most important – and hardest – lessons in being part of a team is understanding that you can’t always win.
Learning to lose is learning to realise other people can be better at something than they are, which can be hard for children to understand.
It’s also important to teach them to accept that the other child will be happy when they’ve won – just as they would be.
It’s tricky, particularly if your child is quite impulsive. But talking to them about how the other person feels encourages empathy, and the basis of putting other people’s feelings ahead of your own.
But don’t encourage them to hide their feelings completely. It’s OK to be sad about not winning – but it’s also right not to shout and scream about it.
3 Be an egg-ineer
Set up a team game. Two or more teams of children are handed an egg, along with a selection of materials (paper, tape, bubble wrap, cotton wool, etc).
Give them a set amount of time to work together to design and build a package around their egg. The egg is small, so they can’t all wrap it, which means they must allocate roles – designer, cutter, taper, wrapper, and so on.
The winning team is the one whose egg falls from a height without breaking. Keep dropping from a taller and taller height until you have a winner!