The Daily Mail, a tabloid which is the UK’s s second biggest-selling daily newspaper, never hesitates to report on things in a way that other newspapers might not. True to their traditions, they’ve got this attention-grabbing headline: Are scientists about to discover a parallel universe? Large Hadron Collider to be powered up for incredible experiment.
Actually, a parallel universe isn’t that odd. Creationists live in one — or they think they do. But that’s not the subject of the Daily Mail‘s story. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:
It has found the ‘God particle’, but the Large Hadron Collider could soon detect a parallel universe. It’s believed the ‘atom smasher’ at Cern in Geneva will be turned up to its highest levels next week in a bid to detect miniature black holes, which are considered a key sign of a ‘multiverse’. The experiment may alarm critics who fear the LHC could bring about the end of the world, but scientists [conducting?] the ground-breaking experiment [say it?] could transform our understanding of the universe.
That last sentence seems to be missing a few words, so we tried to make some sense of it. Then we’re told:
‘Just as many parallel sheets of paper, which are two dimensional objects (breath and length) can exist in a third dimension (height), parallel universes can also exist in higher dimensions’ Cern employee Mir Faizal from the University of Waterloo told Dailymail.com. ‘We predict that gravity can leak into extra dimensions, and if it does, then miniature black holes can be produced at the LHC.’
Faizal tries to clarify things:
He said: ‘Normally, when people think of the multiverse, they think of the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics, where every possibility is actualised. ‘This cannot be tested and so it is philosophy and not science. ‘This is not what we mean by parallel universes. ‘What we mean is real universes in extra dimensions,’ ZME Science reported.
Are you following this, dear reader? Good. Let’s read on:
In March, Professor Faizal and his team calculated the energy at which they expect to detect mini black holes in gravity’s rainbow.
You’re probably puzzled about “gravity’s rainbow.” Wikipedia has an article on it which may (or may not) be helpful: Rainbow Gravity theory. They say it’s very controversial, and that “Scientists are currently attempting to detect Rainbow Gravity using the Large Hadron Collider.” The Daily Mail continues:
‘If we do detect mini black holes at this energy, then we will know that both gravity’s rainbow and extra dimensions are correct,’ he explained.
Fair enough. But what about the tabloid’s earlier mention of critics who are alarmed that this could bring about the end of the world? Surprisingly, the Daily Mail doesn’t discuss that. That’s no problem. With all the crazy websites we visit, we’re almost certain to find something on it.
Anyway, the experiment is supposed to happen next week. If the world ends, it’s been fun being your Curmudgeon. We’ll probably meet again in the Lake of Fire.