Almost anything can become a practice that shifts our attention from rushing and worrying to being a little more present. Instead of counting to twenty or singing Happy Birthday, try this…
The next time you wash your hands, pause for a moment and remember that you have time. Quiet your thinking a bit. Let your breath flow easily and your neck and jaw be free. If you need to, take an easy bend in your knees in order to reach the faucet. Soften your gaze and bring your attention to what’s happening in front of you, what you see, feel and hear; the way your hands look, the feel of the warm water and soap, the way the sound of the water changes as your hands move through it. Take time to notice your hands’ flexibility, strength and sensitivity as you wash and dry them. Give yourself a moment to notice the texture, temperature and weight of the things you touch.
If you’re a musician, artist, craftsperson, cook, writer, gardener, somatic practitioner, healer, or anyone else who relies on your hands, re-connect with this quality of attention as you begin your work.
Give it a try!
The glowing screens through which we now regularly communicate are a necessity, a nuisance, and an opportunity all at the same time. It’s impossible to know what this unique and challenging time will bring or how it will be remembered or influence our future lives. One thing that we can do to a certain extent, is attend to ourselves and the ways we interact with the technology that we’re using.
Here’s a short, simple practice to help you improve your relationship with your screen:
- Sitting in your chair, face your screen the way you normally do.
- Next, swivel your chair or yourself (your whole body, not just your face) on the chair, slightly one side, so that you’re facing away from the screen. Notice where you’re being supported by your chair and by the floor. Connect with your awareness of the space around you; up, wide, forward and back. Then turn back to the screen. Do this several times, enough to gather some information about any differences you feel between facing the screen and not facing it. This is an experiment, so approach it with lightness and curiosity. Anything you notice or don’t notice is simply information, and your experience may be different the next time you try it.
- If you become aware of some differences, turn away from the screen again, and re-connect with the space around you, and the support underneath you. Then slowly turn toward the screen. If at any point, you notice something such as tightening or bracing within yourself, pause for a moment. Ask yourself if it’s possible to quiet that response a bit as you connect with the support of the chair and floor, and the 3-D environment again. As you turn toward the screen, you may find that you’re able to bring a different quality of attention to your experience. A shortcut that’s possible at any time is to look up and away from the flat screen and reconnect visually with your surroundings and the present moment.
Last week, a student told me a story about walking in his neighborhood, feeling very free and easeful after his lesson, until he noticed a woman coming out of her house a few doors down. At that point, he felt himself beginning to take on a more closed and protective posture, though she posed no real threat. It felt familiar, but the contrast with the previous moment was striking. Recalling discoveries he’d made in recent lessons, he was able to have a different response to her presence, one that allowed him the freedom in movement that he’d been enjoying on his walk.
Realizations like this are common among people who are taking Alexander Technique lessons. When something shifts and a kind of effort is no longer needed, there’s an “aha” experience, and a comparison between old and new. It’s interesting to think about why we respond the way we do in certain circumstances, and how a response becomes a habit, but I think there’s another aspect of this that’s also important.
We learn our use of ourselves throughout life, in whatever conditions we find ourselves (F.M. Alexander used the term “use of the self” or just “use” to describe how each of us as united mind/body, or self, responds to stimulus from outside and from within). We use our temperaments, natural gifts and tendencies, and the abilities, powers of observation and reason available to us at the time. With those tools, we find ways of being in the world; everything from how to sit at the computer to how to play a musical instrument to what happens when we meet a neighbor while out on a walk. We do the best we know how. When something we’re used to is no longer working, and suddenly it feels obvious, hindsight is a little tricky. Feeling free of the old habit is liberating, but for many of us, it’s tempting to be hard on ourselves or feel regret for not having known better before.
Today, I encourage you to send a mental note of thanks to your younger self (even the self from 5 minutes ago). That self got you through some things and brought you to this moment. Now you know more than you did. If you want to consciously change something, you can start from exactly where you are. Let go of some of the worry about current blind spots too, because of course, we all have them. Thinking about our lives, and learning from mistakes is in our nature. Limiting the amount of time we spend in the energy of “should have known better” is another layer of changing how we respond, and frees us up further to be present and open to different choices going forward.
Take a moment to just let yourself be where you are, with nothing to change or fix. Recognize the support of the ground under your feet or the chair seat under your sit bones. Gently bring your attention up and out. Let your neck be free. Allow in the sights and sounds of your surroundings. Fine tune your awareness. Practice a tiny pause before taking your next action, and trust yourself to know what to do.
You can learn a lot about your driving habits by paying attention to how you feel and what you notice when you stop the car.
Here are six things to try while waiting for the light to change:
1. Gently quiet your thinking and bring more of your attention up and out to your surroundings and to the present.
2. Let your body be supported by the seat and seat-back, and let your neck be free enough to turn or nod your head easily. When we drive, we’re affected by the motion of the car, and can subtly brace each time we start or stop. Take a moment to un-do some of that accumulated tension.
3. Notice whether you’ve been using a lot of unnecessary effort such as holding the steering wheel tightly, clenching your jaw, or holding your breath. Try bringing you hands to rest on your lap and them bring them back up to the steering wheel while inviting your neck and shoulders to remain easy and quiet. Free your jaw, let your tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth, and allow yourself a full exhale and an easy inhale.
4. Let the visual information come to you. In stressful driving moments, it’s common to push the head and neck very far forward while straining to see more. Even when you need to turn your body or lean forward in order to see, can you find a way to do it more easily? Un-do tension in the muscles around your eyes as you receive the visual information you need.
5. This is my favorite one! Notice that there is space and distance between your car and those around you. Periodically reminding yourself of this can be very calming when traffic is heavy.
6. You have time! Even if you’re running late, stressing about it worn’t get you there any faster. You’ll arrive happier and in better shape if you worry less and don’t rush.
This photo happened while I was on my way to a workshop in New York City. Part of my commute took me through the flower district in Manhattan, where plants and flowers of all kinds were being brought outside for display. The scent of the hyacinths hit me, then the glow of the backlit flowers and the scramble of many shops opening simultaneously. I dodged one man after another, each wheeling what looked like an entire garden out onto the sidewalk. In March. In New York City. There was no time, and no place to stand and take a photo. I stopped to look at the composition for half a second, not even really seeing the lady with the hat, and tapped the button on my phone just in time to get out of the way of an irritated guy with tree. I’m happy with the result. It was the magic potion of chance and inspiration, a little trust, and probably some other things. But I think it was also not being too invested in the outcome. That’s all easier said than done sometimes, but the magic we can practice is being open to the possibility.
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”
― William Morris
I have a plain black jersey-knit sweater that I’ve worn so much, and thrown in the wash so many times that it really should be in tatters. It’s not. At this point, it’s not perfect, but absolutely still good enough to wear in public. If you’ve taken lessons from me in the past few years, you’ve seen it. It’s so go-anywhere-go-with-anything useful, that a chilly workshop participant once offered me $50 for it. I declined (though I let her wear it for the day), because it had been the last one in the store, and was already a favorite.
When the hem of the left sleeve started to unravel earlier this year, I just ignored it, thinking the whole sweater would soon follow. I continued to wear it, rolling up the part of the sleeve that was coming undone. Eventually, since the rest of it seemed to be holding together, I got the sleeve fixed.
A few days after the repair, when I put it on, I had a moment of irritation-turned-to-surprise-relief-and-joy when my hand emerged from the intact sleeve. I hadn’t noticed how accustomed I’d become to the fraying edge, and how accustomed I’d become to ignoring that it bothered me. That only became clear after it had been fixed and I noticed the contrast between my expectation and the reality. Though the problem was gone, the feeling of the problem was still very real. Feeling had become believing.
Navigating daily life calls for compromise and making-do; valuable skills that, when taken to the extreme (ignoring problems), can lead to a chronic shutting down of attention. Long-term, things and situations can wear on us, mentally, emotionally and physically, whether we can articulate the source of the discomfort or not. Maybe this is partly what is behind the William Morris quote; beauty as an invitation to stay attentive.
Over a century ago, FM Alexander discovered that he had been unable to feel the tightening and mal-coordination that was hurting his voice. At some point when he was younger, harmful effort must have begun to feel normal. He had to take this fact into account when he worked out a way to solve his vocal problem; that what he felt was happening didn’t match what he saw in the mirror. His careful observation and experimentation led him on the path to his life’s work; to awaken us to the inherent beauty in our design.
Curiosity instead of assumptions
Attention to the process instead of an expected outcome
Lightness instead of…
Openness instead of…
A free neck instead of…
You can probably think of some of your own. Offer yourself a possibility. It only takes a moment.
The Alexander Technique helped me transform my fear of talking about the Alexander Technique on the radio.
About a year and half ago, my colleague Merlin Wisswaesser and I were invited to be interviewed on a live radio show called Well Talk (shout out to Merlin’s wife, Meg, for suggesting us!). The idea was a bit terrifying, but I couldn’t ignore that it was a good opportunity. It was also comforting that I would be in the company of my gregarious friend, so I agreed.
The day of the interview was was warm and sunny, and the sky was bright blue. The hour-long drive toward the Berkshires was easy and pleasant. I used the expansive scenery and the softness of the air to help encourage some ease within myself. Why not? At that moment, I wasn’t on the radio. I was just driving. I made a conscious choice (repeatedly!) to stay in the present, rather than projecting myself into the future. Quieting a tendency to expect the worst, I had an epiphany; it turns out that until something happens, there are infinite possibilities, not just terrible ones!!!
I had thought about the prepared questions the day before, which left me free to stay with myself (not my answers) on the day of the interview. As show time approached, I experienced alternating bouts of panic, dread, and excitement. I let them pass through, lightly bringing my attention back to the present. This continued as Merlin and I met at a cafe beforehand, as we walked into the studio, talked with the host, Avi, and sat down next to the microphones. Avi is a seasoned professional and has an interest in producing a good show, so we followed his lead. He was a reassuring presence, moved the interview along, intervened if things fell flat, and assured us that he had full command of the magic of editing!
By the time we were on the air, some of my old familiar fear reactions were fully realized, but as shadows of their former selves. I was able to observe them, rather than becoming overwhelmed. I experienced my vision narrowing, my body beginning to tighten, and a kind of mental fog. Instead of trying to make any of it go away, I just let it all be there and reminded myself that I could also still think, speak, and listen, and I continued to issue this reminder moment to moment.
My memory of the first few moments of the interview is a blurry sense that I had a vocabulary of about ten words. So, for those few moments, I actually didn’t try to say more than I could easily manage. I kept my answers simple as the fog cleared. I trusted Avi to handle it, listened with relief when it was Merlin’s turn to talk, and within a short time, became much more comfortable. By the end of the interview, the fear was gone and I was enjoying myself. It was actually kind of fun!
Later, when I mustered the courage to listen to the interview, I was both relieved and surprised. The first few minutes didn’t really match up with my memory of what I’d said, or planned to say, but it was all OK. I didn’t hate my voice! I lived through it! I briefly fantasized about a career in radio!
Sensations of fear and nervousness are unpleasant, and scream for recognition. After all, they’re trying to protect us. Trying to ignore them or make them go away doesn’t tend to work for me. What did work, in this case, was operating from a different place. F. M. Alexander’s discoveries included the observation that our felt sensations can be misleading. It was counterintuitive to believe that I could function well (not just get through it) while feeling so uncomfortable, but that was the exactly what I needed; to trust what I knew.
Lost and Found in Translation
“Sometimes the best way to learn something is by doing it wrong and looking at what you did.”
A while back, I came across a few of the violin method books I used when I was nine and first learning to play. My teacher’s instructions were handwritten across the tops of the pages. “Keep bow straight”. “Don’t let bow slide!”. A sliding bow stroke along the length of the string, or one that is too much off of parallel to the bridge will produce an unclear sound. It appeared several times, clearly something I’d struggled with. Many years after my first teacher made these notes, and as I unravelled an issue of excess tension in my bow arm, I realized that some of my trouble might have come from the tenacity of an ancient belief: that controlling the bow is difficult.
When I taught violin lessons, I was always interested in the fact that my students could receive the same instruction from me, and yet interpret it so differently from each other. It was a daily lesson in communication. From a teacher’s concept of his or her own technique, to their ability to understand and communicate about what’s happening in a student’s playing, to the student’s understanding and ability to follow the instructions, there’s a lot of room for interpretation. Whatever we choose to practice, whether we’ve been taught or have taught ourselves, has beliefs and assumptions behind it, helpful and not. Success is often measured by more or less consistently achieving a result, even if getting there was difficult or the understanding is still a bit murky. As a young player, if a lot of extra effort helped me find my way to playing with a straighter bow, it made sense that I believed that’s what was required. It also makes sense that it eventually just became part of how I played.
Deciding to unpack this idea and to see if it was possible to use less effort and still control the bow, I had to be willing to give up some dearly beloved habits. Much more insidious than playing habits, were my reactions to sounding bad! When I used less effort to control my bow, it did slide around. I let that happen, bad sound and all. The hardest part? No rushing to fix it, and no judgement. I just stayed with it. I used a mirror to see as much as I could, tolerated the sound, and became interested in the problem. How much and what kind of effort was actually needed? Pretty soon, I discovered a way to be in control of the bow without some of the unhelpful effort I’d learned to rely on so many years ago. A more fluid bow stroke, better sound and more comfort were the results. It was a process of taking a clear look at, and un-doing what wasn’t working, and being open to learning what might.
An Alexander Technique lesson is a place to try new things. Sometimes that involves discovering, questioning, and testing assumptions and beliefs that we didn’t even know we had. Sometimes, it involves learning to un-do something that feels essential but may not be, an idea about a correct position, or maybe just a strategy that has outlived its usefulness. This applies to any activity, not just music!
Is there anything in your playing or in your life that might benefit from a closer look, or anything that you’ve been able to change through a similar process? I’d love to hear from you!
I’ve been writing blog posts about the Alexander Technique and not publishing them for several years now. I’m not a natural writer. I work at it. I do get lots of ideas for blog posts; things that I’d like to share with my students and anyone else who might find their way to me. These ideas, once written down, tend to languish in a state of incompleteness and continual revision. Making little tweaks, (changing a phrase here or there and then deciding to look at it later, only to change it again), has kept me satisfied that I’m moving forward. This isn’t necessarily bad. I’ve written and edited a lot, even for this post and I’m still learning (I played the violin for many years, so I believe in practice!). The problem is that, despite all the revisions, I never feel any closer to being ready. I’m not really sure what being ready will feel like, but publishing equals visibility and visibility feels a little uncomfortable.
Recently, I decided to take the leap and actually start publishing my blog. It’s time. The balance tipped away from needing to feel comfortable and sure, toward wanting to communicate about my work. Though the Alexander Technique is experiential, and defies description in some ways, I think writing and discussion can enhance the experience and offer a framework for understanding it. My hope is that this blog will be a resource for those who have had lessons as well as for those who might be new to the work and interested in its applications in daily life.
The Alexander Technique is, among other things, about paying attention to how we do what we do. Part of the creative process is uncertainty, but we all have a lot of choice in how we respond to that. I don’t have to completely believe in the feeling of unreadiness at this point. I can’t necessarily make it go away, but I can respond differently to it. Attention to “the means whereby”, (to quote F.M. Alexander), can help us see more clearly where we are, solve problems as we progress, recognize new possibilities, and explore new creative territory. I might still worry that I’ll run out of things to say, or that I’ll turn out to be a terrible writer, not just a reluctant one. It’s just as possible that I could find this practice to be rewarding and fun! Anyway, I just think it’s time to start. Taking this step in the direction of being more visible means gently quieting the reactive, if well-meaning, voice that tells me I’ll eventually be more comfortable if I wait. I’m not sure that’s true. I think I might eventually be more comfortable if I start.
So, here goes…