Single Parenthood – Pros and Cons of Single Motherhood
The family form consisting of a single mother is nothing new, but the stereotype concerning
this group is changing, slowly. Some cultures accept single mothers and support them with
varying "family friendly" policies that make the workforce a warmer place for them to return
to, while other cultures hold opposing views against single motherhood, considering it a
problem that is shameful.
While there are problems around single parenthood, there are also
benefits. In fact, some people, out of their desire to fulfill a part of their lives that
involves child rearing, may even adopt without being married.
It really is such a joy to be a
part of something larger than oneself, and these experiences of growth, excitement, and pride
are not to be overlooked simply because of the challenges that come hand-in-hand with parenting
out of wedlock. Besides, even parents who are in union face challenges, but in either case,
children are gifts to be treasured. Challenges are to be overcome. If the reader happens to be
a single parent, do not be discouraged. Resources are at hand for single parents.
So, what are some of the benefits to single parenthood? There are different benefits for
single mothers than for single fathers. For single
mothers, being both the mom and the "dad" in a parenting position is tricky, and moms are
forced out of ordinary gender roles. The pressure to create the traditional home environment is out the window without a man to keep happy. And even single mother dating is not so much of a preference as the moms are too engrossed with their little ones.
It is nice to not have to worry as much in keeping
up with housework and cooking. For instance, many women are supposed to have dinner ready at 6
o'clock for their husband when he gets off work. Single moms have more freedom in pacing their
own daily routines to fit their child(ren)'s needs. Another thing that is specific to single
parenthood are the perks of claiming that status (single parenthood) in order to achieve
educational discounts and grants. College can be anywhere from severely discounted to free for those who continue to seek education despite time commitments to their kids and/or work as well. If we talk about a state like Washington, there is definitely education help and other help for single mothers in Washington.
Single fathers have the benefit of
learning tasks that many societies deem "feminine" such as cleaning, sewing, cooking
meals, laundry, and rearing children. For many men, it is a relief to try something
different than what is portrayed in the media as "manly". The statistics for single
fathers in getting remarried are different compared to single moms. The average single mom takes an average of ten years to find a husband and mostly as single mothers work at home.
One of the issues that often comes up in married couples when raising children is the common
scene where a child is disciplined from one parent and goes dashing to the other parent seeking
special treatment. One parent winds up undermining the authority of the other parent. In single
parenthood situations, the rules are all up to that one single parent, so it's really a benefit
to have less communication mishaps in the single parent household. For couples having such
problems, it truly is a learning process for each parent to make sure the ground rules run
flush between the two, but it takes overcoming obstacles such as learning how each partner was
raised and their current views on discipline. Culture plays a part too as many couples are
becoming more diverse.
The downsides to being a single mom are universal. The
number one concern is in the realm of finances. Women who are stuck with children have a
harder time getting their education completed, job experience and internships, and decent
paying careers. Men are generally the ones who are less obligated to care for children and
can then be free to build their resumes and make higher salaries. Another con in single
parenthood is the very likely possibility of running into a bad situation known as
"burn-out". Each stage of growth in a child brings new challenges, and it just never seems
to end! With family support, and peers willing to help, that burn-out point can be
avoided, but without alone time, a single parent will experience times of overwhelming
stress, depression, and isolation.
The darker side of single motherhood really isn't heavier than the upsides to it, but those
storms can seem a lot worse to the new single mom. An experienced single mom will have gained
coping methods and ways to deal with situations as they arise. No one's saying it's an easy
route, but it's not the end of the world either.