Yes, our children bring much joy to our lives, but it's hard to focus on that when you just stepped on another Lego in your bare feet. They are the source of much of a home's mess, so what can we do to prevent some of that — or at least feel better about how you're preparing them for their own adult lives? Stick to these rules:
1. Always set a good example.
Organizing habits are something that kids do observe and absorb. Start pointing things out to them as soon as they are old enough to understand. "Mommy is checking my calendar first before I say 'yes' to Aunt Judy about the movie." "I write everything down so I won't forget." "Every day I clean up the toys so I won't step on them and get hurt."
2. Just as we have homes for ourselves, teach kids their stuff also has its own homes.
The old saying "a place for everything and everything in its place" is a great adage, but we don't quote that to promote a perfectionistic ideal. It's a rule of thumb, and it's key to live joyfully and messily in your homes as a part of real life. When things do have a home, you know where to put them back quickly and easily soon enough after using them. Labeling shows kids where the homes exist and even helps younger kids with reading skills.
3. Offer age-appropriate calendars, to-do lists, and checklists.
Schools often provide kids with a daily planner, and you can help guide them to write in it and check it each day. When there are chores or tasks they can do, always write them down on paper and put a check box next to each so they can experience the satisfaction of crossing things off a list. (Using lists also reduces nagging and makes you one step removed from being "the bad guy," who is making them do the chores!) And when you are packing for a trip, give kids their own packing lists. You will need to check their work, but it promotes the concept of having procedures to follow.
4. Institute regular routines and habits to stay clean and maintained.
Have kids help each evening to clean up what they have taken out. Back to school is a perfect time to teach them about going through your clothing and assessing it at least once a year. What still fits? What can we donate? You can take kids with you to stores like Salvation Army and Goodwill when you drop off your items, explaining that donating keeps usable items out of the landfill and the sale of them helps people get jobs and services in your town.
5. Be patient. Kids are never going to be as diligent as you about keeping the house clean.
Unless you happen to have an extremely unusual child who likes to vacuum! We can teach them many things but they may not "stick" or show up until they are young adults and responsible for their own living spaces. Regardless, we keep on teaching and reinforcing these habits and watch for signs that it's sinking in.