Happy April! Time To Pay Attention To Your Genital Warts Again!
It's April, which means one thing: it's time to sit back, take in the spring air, and become even more aware of whatever may be itching you down there.
The Centers for Disease Control officially has declared April "Sexually Transmitted Disease Awareness Month," so if a short and curly hasn't popped out of that "ingrown hair" yet, it might be time to head to the clinic.
According to the CDC, STDs cost the U.S. healthcare system $17 billion a year -- much of which we can credit to the little sex machines between the ages of 15 and 24.
Estimates show that kiddies in that age group make up about 25 percent of the "sexually experienced" population. However, they account for roughly 50 percent of all new STDs.
Now get ready to freak out and swear off sex forever because we're gonna hit you with some numbers.
In 2010, about 3,000 of every 100,000 people in New York City -- in the aforementioned age group -- had chlamydia. This means that if you're at a party with 100 teenagers and college-age kids (which you shouldn't be) three of them are probably crawling with the clap.
Gonorrhea takes the silver medal as the second most popular of the three reportable sexually transmitted diseases with 600 of every 100,000 15-24-year-olds testing positive in New York City in 2010.
If you manage to catch syphilis, however, you should spend your next paycheck on lottery tickets -- only 10 out of every 100,000 15-24-year-olds contracted the disease in 2010, with only 234 cases reported statewide.
Keep in mind, these are only reportable diseases that were actually reported -- herpes, genital warts, hepatitis, and other fun ailments still exist even though cases aren't formally tallied by the CDC.
There you have it -- happy Sexually Transmitted Disease Awareness Month, everyone, and make sure to bag it up boys (and if you just thought "get me a hefty bag," you're probably an asshole).