Bishop, B. et al
A recent discovery has sent shockwaves through the sauropodian science community as scientists now believe that the Diplodocus used its famous whip-like tail to dominate other dinosaurs in an effort to spark passion.
“We started to get suspicious once we found the cache of leather and handcuffs,” says Dr. Kipperton, the leader of the dig, “but it definitely helps make sense of the whip tail thing.”
Previously thought to be used either to frighten predators or communicate to other members of the herd, the new findings confirm that kinky sex play was, in fact, the primary reason for the unique apparatus.
Additionally, this is found to officially override the notion of water-assisted reproduction among sauropods, also known as the use of “sex lakes,” as, in the words of Dr. Kipperton, “you can’t whip somebody underwater. Trust me.”
When approached for comment, the fossilized Diplodocus bones stated that they were completely fine with being discovered in such a state. “Healthy and consensual play like this helps us to keep relationships strong and new,” said the giant reptile’s disembodied voice, “I just wish that this wasn’t such an earth-shattering revelation for such a repressed species.”