I am sure we can all relate to this. Whether it’s insecurities which have built up as a direct consequence of our scrambled society, or perhaps due to previous exposer to a singular toxic perpetrator; self-criticism can cause undeniable havoc and internal conflict. The constant flux within our culture, alongside a concurrent addiction to unrealistic expectations has led to the manifestation of many young individuals feeling like they will never be good enough.
Poor self-esteem is the primary identified form of this self-criticism. It is usually associated with self-judgement, whereby we can often see ourselves as inferior to others. Poor academic performance, body-shaming, and failed relationships are highly associated with reduced self-esteem. The negative sides of which are magnified logarithmically the longer we sit on our own negative thoughts surrounding our esteem.
Something which has often been overlooked until more recently is perfectionism. In psychology, this is often defined as a personality trait characterised by a person striving for unachievable flawless standards, accompanied by critical self-evaluations. Research has identified that this has become increasingly common, with students last year more likely to have perfectionist tendencies, when compared to students in the 1990s or 2000s. However, this increase in perfectionism does not necessarily correlate with improved accomplishments. If anything, it just underlines an increase in sickness, sadness and undermining of our own potential.
There are clear drawbacks regarding your own personal development if you believe you may be a perfectionist. Life becomes an endless report card on our failures and accomplishments. It is a fast an inevitable track to unhappiness, with perfectionism often accompanied by depression and anxiety. Yet, it is becoming more common within the youth of today’s society. It is even more worrying when you actually take into consideration that perfection is an abstraction. It is impossibility in reality, and often results in procrastination. The obvious and correct assumption is that this perfect scenario will never be achieved; so why bother?
There is a difference between striving for excellence and demanding perfection. All of us are capable of the former, whilst none of us will ever achieve the latter. The grass will always look greener. If you’re worried about yourself on a person level, please remember…beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Perfectionism is a state of mind, and it can be changed. However, we can only move forward from this tainting personality trait if we are first willing to challenge our negative feelings and judgements that we have towards ourselves. If we cannot do this, we will never be able to move on and enjoy happy and truly fulfilling lives.
“Positive thinking is powerful thinking. If you want happiness, fulfilment, success and inner peace, start thinking you have the power to achieve those things. Focus on the bright side of life and expect positive results.” – Germany Kent
Focusing on this will help shift your self-esteem to more positive horizons. You have more control over your self-esteem than you think. It is time we made sure we stopped letting negativity taint our incredible lives. We only get one, after all.