Dating isn’t a universal experience for everyone. There’s no official guidebook that tells you what to do and how to do things. Sometimes, that’s for the better; but there are times where it sucks.
As much as we want a dating manual, it’s just not going to happen. So, how do we navigate dating? We can make things up (which is different from lying, by the way!) as we go and get good takeaways from them. Let’s say you’ve had your eyes and heart out for an African woman for a while now. How do you plan to win her heart over?
We may have some pointers for you here. Please don’t consider them as rules, though! You can totally wing it on the date if you want. However, if you truly don’t know what to do, you can treat this as a little how-to guide.
What You Should You Know About African Women
Don’t call this a generalization. Think of these next few points as friendly reminders instead, should you meet (and fall in love) with an African woman.
The Future is Their Priority
Most (if not all) African women want better futures for themselves (as they should!). Fruitful opportunities are unfortunately scarce in their home country, leading them to head into different countries.
As ideal as staying home to study and work sounds, there sadly haven’t been many chances for them to do that. Does it suck? Absolutely! Leaving home and going to unfamiliar places is scary for anyone; it’s only natural to feel scared about the unknown, especially if things are beyond your control. While their motherland holds a special place in their hearts, they know that leaving for greener pastures is for the best.
They Have No Time For Toxicity
Just so we’re clear, we’re not pointing fingers at anyone or anything. However, we’d like to point a few things out. Africa has a ton of traditions that people still follow to this day; these practices include arranged marriages. And according to the United Nations, statistics show that West African women tend to become wives before they turn fifteen. If that isn’t alarming enough for you, we don’t know what else is.
Unfortunately, most (if not all) women get the short end of the stick of most of these traditions, all in the name of doing it for the culture.
More often than not, forced marriages don’t work out. Cheating and abuse are prone to happen in such situations, which usually land women in unfavorable circumstances. When she sees you exhibiting toxic behavior, she won’t hesitate to call you out and leave you behind.
The World Is Their Oyster
A person can only stick to one place for so long. Like what the first point says, African women deserve better opportunities for themselves. They’re curious about the environment outside their comfort zones, inspiring them to forge their own paths away from them. Think of this as Ariel wanting to explore the world above the sea. This is a reason we see many of them studying and working abroad.
Once they find the comfort they’re looking for outside their motherland, they won’t have second thoughts about settling down in a new place. By this time, they’ve found their life partners and formed their own families.
Family is Forever
Family is high in the African pecking order. African women will fight tooth and nail to keep their broods (and especially their children) together. They’ll push even if it means putting themselves in uncomfortable situations.
Self-sacrifice is non-negotiable, which women take to heart. African society expects women to take care of family matters, from daily household management to family planning. If you want a life partner that’s locked in from the jump, African women are the best choice. They’ll keep you and your family happy and healthy through their natural maternal instincts. However, do remember to help her out when you can.
Spoiled? Not in Their Vocabulary
If someone were to describe an African woman, “spoiled” would be the last descriptor. Luxury isn’t something they’re used to, so don’t expect your future partner to ask for expensive things. Although she’ll be happy to take them as gifts, she really won’t mind not getting them either. And don’t worry—she’s not the demanding type.
African girls don’t expect their men to be their knights in shining armor. Yes, they appreciate gentlemanly gestures. However, they can get things done themselves just fine. They know their worth, and they won’t lower themselves down to get what they want or please a man.
They Just Want to Have Fun
African women are far from boring. If you’re a fun-loving person, you’re in good company! Since most of them are busy, they know they can use some R&R to treat themselves. We suggest taking her out to places like board game cafes, fitness centers, or even beaches on future dates.
They’re Just Into Romance as Much as Other Women
Fairy tale romances may sound cheesy nowadays, but admit it—we’ve all dreamt of one at some point. And there’s nothing wrong with that! What lady hasn’t thought about their Prince Charming at least once in their lives?
You don’t have to be a dashing prince to impress African woman, nor should you be princely in your demeanor. What you can be is a romantic boyfriend who’s not afraid to be affectionate.
How to Approach African Woman
We’re all for being 100% honest with feelings, but you can’t just jump in and tell her right away! You don’t want to scare her away, do you?
There are levels to confessing. Don’t be an overexcited Eager McBeaver and read these tips instead:
#1: Please Don’t Beat Around The Bush
We mean it when we tell you to be honest. This advice is universal because, well, it works (almost) every time! If you want things to be clear between the two of you, set the tone and keep it 100 from the jump.
#2: Keep The Same Energy and Follow Through
Clarity won’t be as effective without consistency. If you claim to be one thing, please don’t lie all your way through the relationship. Once your date catches you making up a false persona, she won’t hesitate to leave you high and dry. Everything we say and do should connect, so don’t be surprised if she starts asking questions when they sense something is off!
#3: Never Assume Things
Past experiences left some of us badly scarred. We can’t blame you for being hesitant—who wants to be burned by the same flame twice?
With that said, though, never assume anything. Not every relationship will turn out the same, and you don’t have to be a pessimist about everything. If you have questions or concerns, just go ahead and ask her. You’ll never know the answers until you ask (the right) questions, yes? We’re pretty sure she won’t have a problem setting things straight, especially if you ask nicely. Don’t repeat past mistakes and think that everything will turn out the same.
#4: Call Your Mistakes as You See Them
For some, saying sorry is difficult. Owning up to mistakes feels like a shameful sin to them since (gasp!) they’re admitting that they’re wrong. That’s a pretty tough pill to swallow for prideful people.
If you’re not one of those folks, that’s great! Accountability shouldn’t be a tall order for you. But if you’re on the other side of the coin, this part may take some getting used to. It’s not the sexiest thing, but it’s a hundred times better than pointing fingers.
#5: Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
Contrary to popular belief, emotional men aren’t weak. Don’t let toxic masculinity convince you that you’re not a “real man” (sounds stupid, yes? We think so too) if you cry.
Women appreciate it if you’re not afraid to show your feelings. Don’t be fooled by the macho men who tell you to “man up” and keep things bottled up. If you don’t healthily release your emotions, you’re going to explode and regret it. Remember, you can’t take your words and actions back.
#6: See The Vision
While it’s too early to talk about marriage at this stage, you can envision a future together with your date, especially if things go smoothly. Are you what she wants, or are you what she needs?
If she wants you to be a part of her future long-term plans, ask yourself if you’re ready as well. Marriage is a long-term commitment that needs both parties locked in. Will you be by her side, or will you just be someone she’ll just encounter along the way?
#7: Don’t Be Pushy
What if she says no to you? Well, you have no choice but to take that obvious hint. Don’t force her to get with you because being pushy never ends well for you both. As cliche as this sounds, there’s a reason you aren’t with her right now. And although you may not end up with her in the future, we’re sure that there’s a lucky girl for you somewhere out there.