Former longtime Preston Hollow Presbyterian Church senior pastor and Advocate columnist Blair Monie recently was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, caught in the early stages. He is journaling about his experience and agreed to let us share this recent entry with Advocate readers.
A diagnosis of cancer has a way of changing not only schedules but also priorities. It's amazing how things that a few days before seemed immutable can be swept off the calendar in a single moment. To-do lists shrink, commitments disappear and suddenly you find yourself with long stretches of time.
Don't misunderstand. This is not at all a bad thing. Many of us, including me, have not had "long stretches of time" since we were kids. As an only child growing up in small-town America in the 1950s, there were whole summers made of the stuff. I think of Fred Buechner's description of "running forever through the firefly dusk of summer." Lately I've been remembering those endless summer days more vividly.
Perhaps the biggest surprise in these early stages of my journey with cancer is that I'm experiencing an unexpected level of happiness — even joy. This is not to dismiss the concern of those close to me, those who love me; that's the downside, which is real.
But maybe what I'm feeling is the opportunity to revisit that "firefly dusk of summer," to live fully in the present moment, and to live unhurried.
The Rev. Blair Monie also previously mentored new seminary graduates in the Lilly Pastoral Residency program in Preston Hollow.