About a month ago, I attended my first-ever writer's retreat. It was a humble-in-the-best-way, not-your-average conference for writers of faith. I'm not sure exactly how I became convinced I should go, because despite my ten years of privately writing out my heartaches and thoughts in various spaces, I hesitate to call myself a writer. I guess this is a common thing among writers. Somewhere, there is some invisible list of qualifications that make some writers 'real' writers, and other ones are…something else. I concede that by the simple fact that I put words down, I technically am a writer, but I'm certainly not an author or a writer with serious professional ambitions, which is why I hesitate to identify as one. More than anything, I see myself as a communicator, and written words just happen to be the easiest and most accessible way to communicate with others in this season of life.
On the way up to the retreat's remote location near Leavenworth, Washington, the mountainsides were ablaze with autumn color. I was curious what I would discover about myself, or about writing, over the weekend, being in a space without children (a rare opportunity for me) and without any real idea of what to expect. I guess most events of this nature focus on how to build a platform, how to get a book published, or any number of other outward-facing topics for all different types of writers. This retreat was different. For starters, it was a very intimate setting with about 10 other women, and any part of the 'business' of writing was not on the agenda. It was a space to listen and to explore the creative side of writing from a context of faith and the movement of the Holy Spirit in our lives.
I arrived there with a stupidly oversized suitcase…not because I took all that many things with me, but because I am pregnant and I need all my special pillows. Pregnant mamas everywhere can nod their heads now. I kept laughing to myself about the size of the thing, and made jokes about my luggage to anyone who happened to notice that it was associated with me, feeling the need to confess that it was all pillows and not a bunch of unnecessary stuff. I had all of 2 outfits, a few simple toiletries, my journal, and the pillows, without which I could not be guaranteed a comfortable night's sleep. Comfort matters, friends.
We gathered first for dinner, sharing names and backstories. I am always a little amused when people look at my round belly and ask me if this is my first baby. It's a rare person who doesn't bug their eyes out when I tell them this is number six. I know, its totally weird. But it's also awesome, I say. The truth is, for all its challenges, I'm so grateful for the story God is writing in my life, even though it is so different than what I expected or might have written myself, and even though I find it more difficult all the time to wrestle with the isolation that comes with mothering a big family.
We kicked off the evening session with worship, and sang together for a long stretch of time. They were trusty, old songs I loved years ago and was glad to revive in my heart. The sound of our voices together was beautiful, and a perfect way to set the tone of the whole weekend. We followed worship with meditating on a particular scripture for a long stretch of time, really letting it wash over and sink deep. I was reminded of the beauty of drinking deep from the Word, not just drinking much, which is my usual approach in my season of life.
How well do we really listen? To listen well, we have to be still, become quiet, be comfortable with silence and waiting. We have to find a way to open the ears and the heart to tune in to something that is on a different wavelength than the noise that is typically pawing at us from every direction. That is really what this weekend was about.
The morning session was a look into writing as a spiritual practice. Our speaker offered us some perspective about the value of listening to God in quietness and recording the things He puts in our hearts during that time. I am already a fairly reflective/contemplative person, so I wasn't quite expecting to be so profoundly touched by the assignment to go sit in nature for half an hour and record what comes to mind. I plan to share more about those specific revelations in a subsequent post…but they are far too deep and poignant to gloss over here. Suffice it to say, I ended up with pages and pages of thoughts from a short 30-minute sitting, and recognized that I need to find a way to continue this kind of practice on a semi-regular basis.
I really enjoyed meeting the other writers who attended the retreat. We were only together for two nights, but it was a truly wonderful experience holding space and creating together. There was clearly an abundance of talent and heart in attendance, and I look forward to continuing the relationships that were ignited there.
In all, I have to say the retreat was not especially remarkable, but it was incredibly powerful for me personally. There were no fancy lights, or famous writers, or 10-steps-to-success tools. It was simple, and understated, and lovely in every way. It was an intentional space held open to listen, take notice of things God wanted to bring to my attention, meet other thoughtful and creative women, play with words, and specifically dive in to writing as a spiritual practice, which I will continue to do with intention.
I have mixed feelings about Halloween. I would say I mostly dislike it. I don't like the candy that is floating around everywhere to tempt my little people into sugar-frenzy. While I do let them have some, I can't help but have serious anxiety about the GMO sugar and additives and dyes and chemicals and all the other things that just shouldn't be in our food, but are there.
I am not a fan of celebrating death. I can get behind pumpkins and hot drinks and fall colors and the changing weather, but the skeletons and goblins and coffins and spiders…not my favorite things. I would skip over Halloween altogether if it weren't for the cute faces that plead with me every year to get a new costume and go trick-or-treatin'. They love all types of dress-up and pretend play, and costumes are a staple around our house all through the year, so that makes Halloween a draw for them.
The quality of most costumes for sale these days leaves much to be desired. There are good ones out there, but you can expect to pay a pretty penny for them. Then there are some not-so-good ones that get a run or a tear after the first day, or were somehow not even stitched correctly in one place or another, and somehow, you pay a pretty penny for those too. Well, no more, my friends.
Every year since the first halloween with my first kiddo, I have planned to make costumes instead of buy them, with the hopes that I could make something quality that would hold up to the nearly 24/7 wearing for the next 6+ months our costumes now endure. (Really, I dare you to drop by on a random day, and you will more than likely find at least one, if not all my children in their costumes instead of clothes.) This year is the first time I have actually made a costume of any kind (how is that for good intentions/procrastination?), and I managed to do four of them! The kids couldn't be more pleased, and I have to say, I'm really happy about it too. My husband commented that he was "really impressed" that I pulled it off this year, after hearing me talk about it for the last 8 years. This is the first time I've made anything from a pattern on my own, so I feel extra accomplished about that. Yay for learning new things.
We have (from left to right): Ninjago ninja minus the sword he will have by Halloween to accompany the costume, Princess Anna of Arendelle (our take on it, anyway…we had the red dress already, so we switched up the colors and made a blue cloak instead), Queen Elsa with a long flowing cape, and Captain America with a daddy-made shield out of cardboard and tape. The baby doesn't have a costume, but she may before the week is over…we will see how ambitious I feel. I may just put a tutu on her and call it good.
We snapped this week's photo after dark, so I set up 2 of my off-camera flashes to light the shot. Try not to fall off your chair laughing when you look at the ninja-boy's eyes. Makes me laugh out loud every time I look at him.
Daddy bought her flowers for her birthday. She turned 8 last week. Oh man. That is just weird. I think it was about 3 blinks ago that she was a toddler, and here she is genuinely appreciating a bouquet of flowers with the best of 'em. She's the kind that savors life….breathes it in, pours stuff out so she can really see it all, touches everything, and lives with perpetual enthusiasm.
She has taken to wearing a pink feather in her hair. It was originally held in her hair by a crimp bead, but after we took it out to tame the nest around it, she tied the feather onto a headband and there it stays. You would never know that the flower photos and the cake/party photos were taken days apart from each other because that headband stays on all the time.
We always do more understated birthday celebrations. For me, it is more important to give the kids a fun/meaningful experience and time together with a few loved friends than to have a zillion presents come into the house and a million friends that you barely get to say hello to before the party is over. This year, for this creative one we did a small home project/craft party, at the birthday girl's request.
She decorated the house on her own with pink zebra striped streamers and a roll of packing tape (not pictured). Awesome.
For the cake, she wanted to make a cake from scratch and decorate it herself. I wasn't feeling up to the from scratch part of that equation, so we compromised and got a white cake from Costco and some supplies for her to add her own flair to the decor. She had a fantastic time coloring up that thing.
For the party projects, we did fuse bead creations (not pictured) and some simple appliqué on pre-made canvas bags. As is normal with our parties, the main activities were also the party favors! I'm not much for trinkets, so I always gravitate toward favors that can be useful or longer-lasting. The girls all seemed to love being able to create their own personalized totes. I just raided my fabric remnants and pre-ironed the fabric adhesive on the back before they cut out their shapes.
It was a simple but sweet affair for my sweet girl. Fun way to celebrate 8!
We have reached the half-way point of 2014. Half behind. Half yet to come. For me, this is about the time that I take a look at the goals I made in January, cross off what I've done, delete what is no longer a pursuit I wish to spend time on, and make new goals for the rest of the year. You're welcome to read about my thoughts on goals/priorities here. Since I haven't formally done my re-evaluating yet, I don't have any specific goals to share, but the biggest change from my original list is the unexpected closing of my photography business of 9 years. I didn't plan that one! My goals for the rest of the year will include making a more serious effort to grow as a writer, lots of homeschool and family goals, and some personal fitness-related things.
I was tagged in a blog hop by my new blog-friend Rachel Haltiwanger at The Inspired Story with some questions about my writing process. Rachel describes herself as an "arms-wide-open type" and I resonate with that description. I've only recently become acquainted with her blog, but she has already inspired and challenged me through her writing. Check her out!
Right now, writing for me is more about just writing something each day…an intentional attempt to express the richness of my life experience so that others will hopefully be encouraged. Life is busy with 5 kids ages 8 and under, and it really does take most of my energy to keep up with them. However, I've felt a call to write for nearly 10 years and only more recently (in the past year) have found the courage to write and share more publicly on this blog.
Behind the blog scenes, I free-write as often as I can. In July, I will be focusing my attention on two separate themes that have emerged from my free-writing over the past year and working toward developing and expanding on those themes. Either may become a larger work down the road, but for now I'm not putting pressure on myself to 'write a book'. Instead, I'm doing my best to develop good habits for a healthy writing life, and move toward more focus and discipline as a serious writer.
I'm not sure I know the answer to this question. First of all, I don't really know what my genre is, besides a very general "Creative Non-Fiction" label. That is so wide open! I think my writing is an extension of my heart and spiritual life. I don't really know how to separate the reality of my experiences with God from all the other parts of life, so that is probably something distinctive about my work.
I don't have a consistent process, really. Writing looks different from week to week, season to season. At times, I embark on 'writing challenges' where I make some short term goals and try to dedicate all my free time to completing those challenges. For example, last November I did a 5 week challenge. My goal was to write 60,000 words in five weeks. The result was 60,000 words of wildly random free-writes, but I did feel it was successful in moving me forward as a writer. This July I will embark on a similar challenge for me with a lot more focus as I narrow in on the themes that have surfaced.
I find with a challenge before me, if I cultivate space for where I'm headed, I'm a lot more successful. I set up a new document and title it with the date (YYMMDD) and later I add a keyword to the end that will help me remember what I mostly wrote about that day. I typically set up the new document every evening for the next morning, and save/close whatever I wrote for the present day before I turn in for the night. About half of my blog posts are lifted out of a free-write. The other half of my blog posts are inspired by the photos I took that particular week or situations I encountered. I keep a journal to jot down prompts and ideas as they come, and those often become my free-write prompts.
What Other Writers Would I Like to Introduce to You?
Christin Taylor – I have a huge amount of respect for Christin and have been privileged to follow her writing journey for several years. She is a published author and a true wordsmith. Christin – I would love to have a glimpse into your process!
Lesley Miller at Barefoot at 45th – I was introduced to Lesley's writing through Christin (above) when we both participated in a writing workshop that Christin facilitated. She doesn't know (I guess now she might!) that I have stalked followed her blog for several years now, through the births of both of her children.
Hillary at Capturing Motherhood – I'm not sure if Hillary would really call herself a writer, but I have loved following her blog for years now. She writes in unconventional form, but I am always blessed by the thoughts she shares. She also loves photography, which is another thing we connect about. Hillary – I'd love to hear about any part of your creative process…writing or photos!
Kimberlee Conway Ireton – I first met Kimberlee through a local homeschool program where both of our families participated. I read her most recent book earlier this year (I highly recommend) and fell in love with her thoughtful writing style. She is wonderful!
So friends, if you have the time, I'd love for you to answer these questions on your blogs!