I used to believe I was honouring my father's spirit by... STRUGGLING.
I used to believe I was being LOYAL to my ancestors by being BROKE and by identifying myself as... STRUGGLING.
After all, my FATHER was a struggling ENTREPRENEUR.
And so was his father and forefather.
STRUGGLE with CAPITAL S was their daily bread.
'Life is hard', I can almost hear them say.
Sweat, TEARS and blood is ALL they knew.
Is it any surprise that even when I hit $7,5k a few years ago I was STILL struggling financially?
The only difference being, I was BROKE at a higher income bracket!
Yes, I come from a lineage of modern day SLAVES (victims of forced labour).
I come from a lineage of SERVANTS and underpaid menial workers.
The fact is, as much as I would like to think I was HONOURING their STRUGGLE by staying broke the only thing I was honouring was my... EGO.
Some time ago I decided I needed to STRUGGLE.
I was CHOOSING struggle over EASE and FLOW.
As much as I loved my Dad I knew I had to... let him go.
He was SLOWING me down and eventually became a... BURDEN.
The burden of being duped into paying off someone ELSE's LOAN, his wife's close family member.
The burden of being USED and taken advantage of for his kind heart, generosity and child-like naivite.
My father was even CHEATED on AFTER his death by his brother-in-law after he DENIED taking money upfront for the job he NEVER carried out... leaving his widowed wife and five daughters with no means to live.
The burden of working himself to... DEATH and dying with music playing LOUD in his young 49 years of age.
I thought I was being a GOOD DAUGHTER by doing so.
I HATED the people who did this to my DADDY.
I HATED the people who took advantage of his GENEROSITY.
I HATED the people who thought my father was a FOOL for being trusting and forgiving.
I HATED all of them with my small but MIGHTY heart.
I CRIED with him for the INJUSTICE he suffered at the hands of these EVIL people.
I took on his PAIN, GRIEF, DISAPPOINTMNENT, RESENTMENT, ANGER, RESIGNATION and SORROW.
I may NEVER find out why they did these things to you (not that I need to know) as your life's lessons and spiritual path are unique to you.
Maybe there were things or karmic lessons you needed to learn and things you needed to FORGIVE yourself for in this lifetime.
It is NOT for me to JUDGE and it is not my RESPONSIBILITY to bring JUSTICE or to take on your PAIN.
All I know is that I can only HONOUR your SPIRIT by putting myself FIRST, charging what I am worth and being just as NAIVE and TRUSTING with child-like wonder as you were.
I have found PEACE and it is my hope that your PERPETRATORS will find it in their heart to... FORGIVE themselves.
I have FORGIVEN them and I have forgiven you too for I know the only way I can bring you JUSTICE is not by STRUGGLING, holding onto ANGER and RESENTMENT but by THRIVING and living the best life possible.
'I am COMFORTABLE with my husband supporting me financially and being the breadwinner', I almost choked to death when I heard what I thought was a HUGELY successsful business owner say.
He died prematurely at the young age of 49 while selling SCRAP METAL to put food on the table.
He worked himself to DEATH leaving his widowed wife and 5 daughters with no means to live.
Still sitting COMFORTABLE in your chair?
Now, how COMFORTABLE do you think my mother was with her husband being the breadwinner when that happened?
Did you just become a little unsettled and UNCOMFORTABLE in your swing chair or did I just imagine things?
When you become too comfortable in your comfort zone and with what's comfortable in your life the Universe will force you to become comfortable with the UNCOMFORTABLE!
Her life circumstances FORCED her to become the BREADWINNER she was so comfortable with having her husband as!
When you make something outside of you your source of safety or stability in life, the Universe is set up to FAIL you to return you to the REAL source within.
I am by no means making stay at home mums or housewives WRONG.
What I am against is having no plan of action for the INEVITABLE.
What I am against is MENTAL LAZINESS.
'I am COMFORTABLE with my husband being the breadwinner'.
What a convinient excuse to give your power away!
And disown your CREATIVE GENIUS.
With certain lack of responsibility comes certain lack of power.
Who else does NOT have the money?
Kids are NOT expected to pay.
But with the lack of money comes certain lack of power.
What makes you think you don't have that kind of power?
When you're IRRITATED and what happens NEXT completely BLOWS your mind!
I've been to this place on two ocassions, two days in a row (today was my third) so I was a little taken aback the waiter was evidently IGNORING me as I was the only customer and another man walked in soon AFTER and I could clearly hear the coffee machine working.
'Why is he IGNORING me?!
I was ANGRY he made me WAIT.
Just as I was about to LEAVE he appeared with my regular order: freshly squeezed orange juice, cafe creme and almond croissant.
I was SPEECHLESS and couldn't believe my own eyes!
He DID notice me and he was brewing a coffee for ME, not the other guy without me having to place an order!!!
How often do we get IMPATIENT when we place our order to the Universe and give up just as we're about to have a BREAKTHROUGH and have our dreams delivered?
Everything is being worked out behind the scenes.
Just because you can't see it does not mean it is NOT happening!
Be patient and trust in the process.
True Confession: Being A Leader Is UNCOMFORTABLE!
I shared a few SPIRITUAL truths and principles that evoked a very mixed response and led to a HEATED debate. Now, what happened next is UNBELIEVABLE!
A few of the ladies in the group dismissed it as complete BS.
Just as many AGREED with me.
I got the impression she felt largely UNSEEN and UNHEARD growing up as she was TRYING very hard to prove her point by boasting about her expertise in CLINICAL jargon.
For some reason, the answer I gave one of the ladies really TRIGGERED her.
She let her DISCONTENT be known by having a fit of ANGER (a psychotherapist having a fit of anger in public, who would have thought?) but I deliberately IGNORED her and engaged with the other ladies in the group.
'I got the feeling you would say something like that!', she said with a deep sense of satisfaction.
I swear by that point she was a few inches taller!
A shy SMIRK formed on my CHUBBY cheeks as that's the exact type of response I was expecting from a clinical psychotherapist STUCK in her head.
Do you crave a sense of satisfaction and VICTORY?
VICTORY and a sense of satisfaction is what you'll get from me.
If you want to be stuck in your head I'll let you be STUCK in your head.
If you need an EGO boost, I'll give you an ego BOOST.
I'm well past the stage where I need to prove my WORTH to anyone.
I let her think I was all airy-fairy, wishy-washy and that my theories were IMPRACTICAL.
Isn't it ALL what she wanted after all?
To prove her point that what she was teaching was BETTER since it was backed up by science rather than SPIRITUAL practices that have no application in the real world?
Surprise, surprise, my psychotherapist friend, your airy-fairy, head-in-the-cloud little friend is as grounded and practical as you!
What she does not limit herself to though is a linear path of thinking of what is RIGHT or WRONG, what is PRACTICAL and what is not.
Combine it with INTUITION and ANGELIC healing and it's no wonder my clients can release up to 27 years of trauma in one single session!
The moment you think you had me ALL figured out is the moment you fell into your own trap!
Your dreams are not happening to you NOT because you're constantly BUSY.
It's NOT because there's too much month at the end of the money.
Your dreams are not happening to you NOT because you and your partner are NOT on the same page.
It's NOT because your 3-year old refused to eat or put on pants for an umpteenth time.
It's NONE of those things!
It's because you're giving your power away to THEM.
In essence, you have made them your God and are using them as a convenient excuse NOT to take action.
You're projecting your own unresolved issues onto them.
You haven't gone ALL in your business and do not fully believe the life of your dreams is possible for you which is why his comments hurt so much!
A child who just won't do what he or she is SUPPOSED to do?
What are you NOT doing in your business that you know deep down you SHOULD be doing but are refusing to?
What are you trying to AVOID by staying constantly busy?
There being too much month at the end of the MONEY?
Money has no POWER to shatter your dreams unless you give it to it.
Your dreams are NOT happening, not because of your partner, your children, lack of time, or lack of resources.
They are not happening because YOU and ONLY you are not making them happen!
Your dreams are not something outside of you.
P.S. The SILLY image below?
Your excuses are just a POOR attempt to run away from... YOURSELF and the truth that you and ONLY you are NOT making IT happen.
There is absolutely NOTHING outside of you preventing you from making your dreams a reality.
Stop running away from yourself, hiding and FEEDING your excuses and face them squarely!
She was way too RIGID.
She smiled when she felt like CRYING.
She remained poised when she felt like EXPLODING.
She hanged on when she felt like DYING.
She didn't STAND UP for herself.
She didn't SPEAK UP for herself.
She let others WALK OVER her.
She became a SHUT DOWN version of herself.
She was a SPECTATOR of her own life.
She was a 'GOOD GIRL'.
Did it make her HAPPY?
These days if she's SAD she lets everyone else know how she feels.
She no longer has any JUDGEMENT of herself.
When she LOVES you she says it out loud.
When she's ANGRY she throws a tantrum.
When she feels SILLY she makes funny faces.
When she's HAPPY she jumps up and down.
When she's SAD she cries in public.
She plays no mind games. She has no time for that.
She says Yes to her inner Yes and No to the rest.
She does not let it MEAN anything about her.
She fell in LOVE with herself and so did others.
She lets herself just... BE!
She got tired of all this PRETENSE.
I KILLED her so that a new Sandra could be born.
The thing is, when you love and approve of yourself LOVE and approval find you.
Life is easy and in the flow when you're being YOU.
Me and my machete are ready to slaughter any and ALL of your limiting beliefs!
WARNING: When you do, life will NEVER be the same!
Put your hand over your chest to feel the vibrational energy of your statements. Read your declarations sheets out loud and with conviction.
If I am called to spend my life offering up my gifts I deserve to be rewarded for them.
Infinite abundance and money are always available to me and there is more than enough for everyone.
My work is incredibly powerful and I DESERVE to be rewarded abundantly for the value that I provide.
I'm worthy of making more money.
I'm open and receptive to all the wealth life offers me.
Money allows me to make contributions to the world in endless ways.
Money supports and assists me to become my highest and best self.
Abundance and money flow to me constantly.
Everything is connected to everything else so I am connected to money.
Attaching higher vibration to everything I do will serve my purpose.
Blessings and abundance are constantly provided for me.
There is no order in money miracles, they are available to me.
I deserve to be rich because I add value to other people's lives.
I am truly grateful for all the money I have now.
I'm on a spiritual journey and money is part of my vision for my life.
Money enables me to donate to causes I care about on a much larger scale.
Money is simply energy, it's what I do with it that makes it either good or bad.
I am one with all good – I can't add or lose anything.
Real wealth is invisible, infinite, and within me.
Money helps me find freedom, generosity and compassion.
I am a successful soulpreneuer creating a huge impact in the world.
I am a divine channel helping others connect to their higher selves.
The money is already on its way to me.