So do you remember the post where I was writing about how happy I was about everything, but then later was consumed by my own doubts? Yeah, turns out that I was doing happiness right.
I was truly happy at that point with my job as a translator, and everything I have at that point, but I was terified of being complacent.
A million and one questions washed over me, and washed away my happiness along with it. I'm an architect, should I really settle for being a translator?Am I wasting my own potential? What if I have peaked, and this is it for me, and I never move up? Should I be achieveing more out of life? But if I left my current job which I truly like, what if I end up being unhappy and stressed with being an architect (because I did try that one before, and I was truly unhappy)? Am I just being lazy by not wanting to stay back at the office the way architects always does? Is it wrong to want to spend a lot of time at home with my family, while others are working hard?
You know, about a million more of the same questions.
But then I came across this book I bought at The Big Bad Wolf about 3 years ago titled "The Art of Happiness" by Dalai Lama, and it was a game changer.
It says that happiness is a state of mind. It is that simple. It has absolutely nothing to do with what you have achieved, or how much money you make, or the person you are married to, or how many children you have. If you make yourself believe you are happy, you are happy.
Turns out that the key to happiness is pretty simple: To be grateful of what you have. That is it. Well, I guess since Dalai Lama is a buddhist, he is greatly influenced by Buddhism (well, duh), and the 4 Noble Truths. From what I have learned in architecture school when we were learning about buddhist architecture, the 4 noble truths states that desire (or more like, greed of material things) leads to suffering. I guess that is what his stand point on how to achieve happiness.
So to those who yearns to be happy, I know it is difficult, for I am also facing the same thing, but let's train our minds to see the good in everything. To be grateful of what we have. To stop comparing what we have with what others have (especially because comparison is the thief of joy). And just be happy.
For me, it is like swimming against the current, but I will continue to fight tooth and nails to achieve that happiness. Because I know how it is like to be truly happy, because I have experienced it once, and I would like to have that warm feeling in my heart for the rest of my life.
I hope you also achieve your happiness.
Saturday mornings in bed are the best.
You get to stay in bed for longer, and cuddle until you're ready to face the day.
I also like the conversation that happens in bed on Saturday mornings. I wouldn't know how much my husband pays attention to how I look if it were'nt for saturday morning conversations.
"eh your hair actually has tints of brown in it"
"Your eyes are really like pitch black usually, but if you turn your head a certain way, and the sun hits your eyes, it becomed clear brown"
"I like how your freckles are like spreading inwards. Before this it was just on your cheeks, now they're spreading towards the outer corner of your nose"
Either way, I love love love saturday mornings. You have the whole day ahead of you to relax, and you know that it's still a day off the next day.
Hope you have a wonderful saturday morning tomorrow too (and many other after that)!
I've been back for almost 2 weeks now, and the reason that I haven't been writing is because I'm burried in work. Like literally. Well, not literally. I've just been extremely busy.
It's crazy at work, and the thesis revision that I have been putting off for 3 months, (due in 2 months) finally banged and knocked my "in denial" door down, so I have to deal with THAT so that I can finally graduate and put all that nightmare behind me. Seriously, my hunband tells me that I always wake up in panic these days, I think that's my subconscious telling me I have unfinished business.
So, here's an update of our trip.
I did not realize this when I was planning it, but, actually, we were both old, and we did not take that into consideration when we covered 5 states in Japan ina 7 days- trip. Gilepe 1 state a day.
So here it is, Ska-Adam Adventure Video Travellogue! Hope you like it!
So I'll be leaving for a trip tomorrow, and I thought it will be fun (and will also be fulfilling my 1 post a week quota) to record what I packed, and blog about it.
So here's a list of the things I have in my suitcase.
I normally don't travel in mid-winter, it's usually very late autumn, or early winter, so I don't normally carry a lot of bulky knits with me. But, since I was travelling during the coldest month of winter, and my boss told me that it was "あ、そこは、2月はくそ寒いぞ" (It's crazy cold there in February), I'm taking A LOT of wools, and knits with me.
Got most of them at H&M during the sales and they were CHEAP. and I mean dirt cheap, scored 3 sweaters for RM150. You can't even get 1 sweater for RM150 at winter time.
I saw the deep V neck sweater and thought it was cool without knowing that it is actually a trend! It's all over pinterest, look!
And I got it for RM50 which was definitely a steal.
This one I also got from H&M for RM50, and I absolutely love how gorgeous it looks with its blush pink color and metallic detailing.
I'm also bringing the basic oversized black and grey.
And also these tunic sweaters which if you notice, is the same sweater in different colors. The blue one I reworked by just removing its turtle neck.
Of course I will be bringing my trusty double breasted winter coat with me to shield me from the cold, because I'm not Elsa, and will get hypothermia if exposed to cold weather. And the biting cold very much bothers me (tapi nak gak travel winter).
Numerous people had asked me where I got this coat when I was featured in Doc Marten's Facebook page, but I couldn't answer, because it used to belong to my mom, and to reply "it's vintage" seems a little bit snobbish. But for reals though, it did belong to my mom, and it IS older than my brother. I just reworked it a little bit.
Just random shirts to wear on top of my heat-tech iner shirt and under my sweater. Hope I dont look fat get heat stroke or anything from all that layer I'm wearing.
Now this one has been one of my latest obessions as well.
I usually just wear my black muffler whenever I travel in winter, because I love how it matches everything and it's really soft and warm, or just wear my pashminas as muffler whenever I feel like adding a pop of color to my usual black.
But I saw this blanket scarf in ZARA and immediately fell in love. They feel so soft, and they're huge and snuggly! It was sold out everywhere, but luckily, I got the last piece in red in One Utama, so it must have been a great hit here!
Can I say tres gorgeous pls??
My husband was so bising when I decided to get a new hat, because he couldn't see why I would want to buy a hat that looks ALMOST identical to the one I already have. psh. boys.
I will of course be bringing my Docs! My scruffy, worn out, well-loved Docs. A bit worried that the canvas wont hold in the snow.. but it should be ok. I hope.
As it will be sub-zero, I will of course be bringing gloves and wool tights and the likes to survive the cold.
But I also will be bringing something extra.
I'm still alive, still writing.
Just moved into a new house, no internet installed yet, swamped with work.
Don't you forget about me just yet!
I'm still determined to write at least a post a week, which is why I wrote this pathetic little piece just so I fulfil my quota (how do bloggers come up with a lengthy piece everydayy??). Will be writing soon!!
Don't you think so? Don't you think that humans are funny?
Don't you think how we sometimes think, or act, react to something defies logic completely?
Like for example okay, I have just realized that I'm happy.
I'm happy with my job, I'm happy with my marriage, I'm happy with where I live, I'm happy with my car, I'm happy with what I have.
Just you know, one of those rare stars-all-alligned happy.
You'd think I'd be okay with that, and continue on being happy wouldn't you.
But Noooooooo... of course not. Of course my brain has to go on overdrive, and plant a seed of doubt among all that rainbow-colored, butterfly-filled meadow of happiness.
Among that happiness, I feel doubt, like "Am I doing the right thing? Sure I'm happy now, but is it really ok to be happy with what I have? Am I being complacent?"
Do you get what I mean? I am exasperated with my own train of thoughts, but It's just there. Deeply rooted in my brain.
I don't know if your brain also does the same thing where it has this death grip on a string of cynicism within you, and sneakily use it on you whenever you're feeling content.
You: "Hey, I feel good. I'm happy, and content and the world is such a wonderful place"
Brain: "So...Word on the street is that... you're....happy...?"
You: "Yes! Totally! I feel like everything has finally fallen into place, and everything is going right!"
Brain: "So it's true then? You're definitely happy?"
Brain: "HA!!! I DONT THINK SO!"
and then wham! every ounce of doubt you've ever felt hits you like a full-speed train that Bruno Mars won't even jump in front of for you. and then you hear a little voice inside of your head.
Brain: "now... isn't that better?"
Please tell me I'm not the only one, because if that's the case, I might have to check myself into a mental institution.
So, we made it to the 1st year mark smoothly, alhamdulillah. hehehhee.
I have soo many things I want to write about this marriage, but I don't want to jinx it, so, I think it will suffice to simply say how grateful and lucky I am that I'm married to my husband, who always supports me and who makes me just....happy. Alhamdulillah.
Being a compulsive planner, I tried coming up with a plan for our anniversary about 1 month before the D-Day. Initially, I wanted to check us into a nice hotel, and just relax, you know, do the touristy suff, like go for a dip in the swimming pool, watch TV, wake up go downstairs and have buffet breakfast and the likes, but the husband said that he did not see any point in booking a hotel if we'd only be staying around KL, and I really was swamped with work, so I did not want to drive anywhere out of KL.
So the second plan was to have a nice dinner. My plan was to go to a buffet at KL tower, or Hyatt 38, have a nice dinenr while looking at the beautiful night view of KL, but the more I think about it, the more I don't feel like going. One, you have to drive ALLLLLL the way to KL (we're staying in Damansara and has been anti-KL traffic since) for a dinner, and two, the food was rather over-priced for my taste. Don't get me wrong though... I don't mind paying (or I don't mind letting my husband pay :p), as long as I think it's worth it. But, RM45 for a plate of Kuey Teow?? Yeah... maybe not.
So in the end, after a looooong search, I came across MINORI restaurant, newly opened in the corner of Royale Bintang hotel, that does buffet for a very reasonable price (about RM110 for a lunch buffet). So I thought "Hmmm, Japanese food, an a-la-carte buffet (which means that you can just order what you want from the menu and not walk around), and less than 5 minutes drive from home, this is perfect!". And so, that's where we ended up spending our anniversary at. And I loved it!
I bought this scarf just for my anniversary, I wanted to look pretty and not Darth-Vader like.
Phones were absolutely banned during the lunch. Calls and messages were left unanswered for the duration of the lunch. The only topic allowed was topics related to our marriage.
And we ate... ohh boy, did we eat!!
We decided that we should pace ourselves (the buffet time was about 2 hours and a half), so that we can continue eating for the whole 2 hours. So we steered clear of rice. And let me tell you, the food served in Minori was delectable!
The chawan-mushi was smooth, the sashimi cuts were thick and sweet, and melts in your mouth, the croquets were creamy and yum. You know what, I'll just let the pictures do all the talking.
Chawan-mushi - our first dish at Minori, Royale Bintang.
Monaka - I had like 3 of these.
So, during dessert, I noticed that my husband was a bit jittery, like his eyes kept darting all over the place, but I just put it down to excitement. Because I knew he absolutely loves Japanese food.
But then, a waiter came to us, carrying a bouquet of flowers, and said "Your husband wanted to surprise you..Happy anniversary!", and handed me to bouquet.
My husband is very sweet, but he's terrible at these grand gestures (bless his heart). So, I know for a fact that things like this must have taken him a real emotional and mental effort to pull and I loved him for it.
It was a very lovely lunch.
Dear husband, I know you sometimes visit my blog.
Please know how lucky I think I am to have met you, to have married you, and to have embarked on this journey together with you.
I was in love with you the whole 8 years we were together before tying the knot, and I am even more in love with you now. You are my bestfriend, and I feel safe and happy whenever I'm with you.
Here's to many more adventure, and here's to forever.