Delyth Jones-Williams' world collapsed around her when she lost her baby to cot death when he was just six-week-old.
She was just 21 year-old at the time and although a long time has since gone by, the pain of losing little Owain is still fresh in her memory.
He would have been 19 this month (March) and Delyth, who now has three more children, says not a day goes by without her thinking about her first-born.
Speaking to Wales Online , she said: "I woke up at 7am one day and he was gone. I fed him at 4am, and at 7am I went in and he was gone. There was no indication he was ill when I fed him," she recalls.
A problem with one of Owain's kidneys had been detected during her first scan in pregnancy and, although he was waiting to have it removed, it was not thought to be life-threatening.
"The cause of death on the death certificate was cot death/sudden infant death syndrome with the secondary cause being his kidneys," said Delyth.
"Owain died of cot death due to an underlying problem with his kidneys. I was 21 years old and he was my first child, my little boy.
"I was very young. I was too young. I wasn't old enough to deal with losing my baby.
The pain of losing their child put a strain on Delyth's relationship with Owain's father and the young couple broke up soon afterwards.
"When something like that happens you are never going to be the same again.
"They say it brings you closer or breaks you as a couple. We split up.
Now working in the NHS and studying for a business degree part-time at Bangor University , Delyth, who lives in Deiniolen, near Caernarfon , with her partner Robert Freeman and their three children, has started writing a blog about her experiences.
She hopes detailing how she learned to live with the grief of losing a baby will help other bereaved parents.
She says she feels there's a stigma for parents whose babies die of cot death, adding to the grief and fear.
As part of the process to help her remember Owain, the hospital took his hand and footprints in ink which she had traced and tattooed on her shoulder with his date of birth and initials "OG" for Owain Glyn.
Although having more children and fostering has helped her cope with losing her first baby, Delyth says they are not replacements and it is also important not to be afraid of showing and discussing grief, even many years after losing a child.
"Owain would be 19 this year and I still think about him every day," she said.
The blog – Life After Losing a Child – also has suggestions on how to navigate everyday conversations which can become hard after such a loss, such as explaining how many children you have. It also deals with becoming over-anxious about the safety of other children.
Delyth says one effect of losing Owain to cot death has been to make her more anxious about the safety of her other children.
"I sometimes check they are still breathing when they're sleeping and if they go out I worry they are safe but I've learned to accept that is who I am," she says.
She writes on her blog: "It's not easy. Your kids want to go out, but what if? What time will you be back? Where you going? With who?
"I just want to keep them safe, but my battle every day is rationalising my thoughts. I used to put pressure on myself to keep them safe, but I was stopping them having their freedom, their childhood.
She now urges people to think of writing to help their feelings: "Sharing your feelings and thoughts shouldn't be a taboo. So many of us suffer alone as we feel we can't share our thoughts.
"People talk about their kids all the time.
Delyth, who writes her blog between studying and working part-time in the NHS, hopes it will help others.
"I started the blog to do something to show there is life after losing a child," she says.
"There is a danger you can end up living your life in a bubble.
Does battling anxiety and other mental health issues make me a bad mum?
"I don't think I have come to terms with what happened but you learn to live with the grief.
"I do wake at night and still check my children are safe and now I accept that's something I do.
"I hope my blog will help some other people and help them realise it's OK to feel the way they are feeling and to learn to live with the new person you become.