Today the World feels a bit empty, there is a space inhabited as last night, quietly, my Friend Bill passed away. How strange Life can be. One moment here, the next moment gone, and yet, I myself still here surviving my own Son and my Best Friend. There is nothing we can do about it. They always say nice things after someone dies, don't they? Sometimes the speech is written by someone that did not even know the departed that well. I knew Bill very well. Kammie and him harbored me for months after Lance passed away. The memories are filled to the brim as within the circumstances of us living in the same house they were incredible times spend in harmony, the three of us together. We will live on with those memories.
Today, I am not trying to understand, I am only feeling his departure. That is because there is nothing to understand. The finality of it hits me hard, has left me numb, sad, there is a need to regroup, crank up that willpower again, get the momentum going. A while back I would have said "I wish we could go somewhere far instead of now hovering in this area awaiting Overland Expo happening next weekend". Yet, those are not my thoughts today, not my wish as Robin herself is feeling my loss. Such past thoughts I now always compare to the ostrich burying her head in the sand. This is where we are now, this is where I want to be as together with my Kindred Spirit the support and her kindness toward a broken heart is more than welcome as being the medicine of this path taken. We are each other's "rock" and will remain as such.
Being in Patagonia was a bit of a scramble while my mind was "there" and "there" knowing Bill had been checked into the Hospice. I felt a bit as being on automatic pilot, in a daze and constant stupor. We stayed a couple days, we walked around into a space they call "The Mountain Empire", mentally took notes as it being a gem of an area, and while I cut our stay a bit short we then on came back to Tucson.
We did not even ride too many roads within this landscape quite different than most other spaces we have been in. The unpaved ones are of many, they lead to areas of past mining, railroad history and present ranching. Throughout the day the shadows along the roads are of many, magnificent cottonwoods, Arizona oak, walnut and willow forests. In town the "motto" is "Stay a while". In a bed and breakfast, inn, or retreat center and serendipitously sample local food, art galleries, shops, wineries, hiking trails, and surrounding ghost towns. "Stay awhile" where the signs everywhere and discover why Patagonia, Sonoita, and Elgin provide destinations I felt could be the source of much time spent.
The days were pleasant, the nights have been cold. Something has been wrong with the pad of my sleeping bag, maybe the fact that it is 10 years old or more might have something to do with it. It almost froze. The locals have been in harmony with the pleasantness of the area, it felt odd for me to leave it all behind but there was not much sense when the true colors are faded within one's mind, when the senses are just not feeling what lays ahead.
The name itself "Patagonia" is of one that opens up paths of Dreams into the many hearing that word. We shall be back at some point, this was just and only a taste of much we would normally experience while in a different mind set. We will be fine, another hurdle to surmount, I am not alone anymore, the support is of a great guidance these days while here, while accepting the faith of my close Friend and now the days on end of his Family supporting each other through themselves and Friends.
This entry was posted on Sunday, March 27th, 2011 at 11:58 am	and is filed under travel, spirituality, pit bull, sidecar, motorcycle, cooking, photography, riding, homeless. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Ara, blessings to you in your time of sorrow…your dear friend will live forever in your heart and the precious memories will help you on your path of healing. You will be in my thoughts and prayers….peace and healing to you.
Our deepest condolences on the loss of your dear friend, Bill. May he rest in peace.
You and Kammie are in our thoughts.
My heart aches for you and your loss. The older we get, the more people we have lost and as you said, we cant do anything about it…but, live well so that when our time comes, our families and friends can say that we were happy. It will take time but, I want you to be happy. Be happy, my friend, please! Be happy and think of all the good times these people that are gone brought into our lives. How lucky we are to have known them….