The moments after a crucial job interview may feel like a sigh of relief or a pang of anxiety. But, no matter how you feel, there's an important next step: writing a thank you note.
Never - never - use your thank you note as an opportunity to ask for a favor.
"It should stand on its own without asking for something. Just pure appreciation," says Peter Bregman of Bregman Partners, a management consultancy company where he works with CEOs and business leaders. "You can ask for something later."
Adding a request of any kind could detract from a thank you note's sincerity and make it seem less authentic. "It just paints you in a bad light if you're putting them in an awkward position," adds Jacqueline Whitmore, a business etiquette expert.
"People are writing these gratitude letters because they actually feel grateful and not because they're trying to impress somebody," says Amit Kumar, the study's co-author and assistant professor at the University of Texas at Austin. "These kinds of exchanges tend to be more positive than people expect."
There's no way to feign authenticity. But experts say there are a few things you should keep in mind when writing a thank you note.
If your thank you note has the sincerity and specificity of that of a 13-year-old boy's after his Bar Mitzvah, Bregman warns, you should rethink your approach. That is, don't just say thank you because you have to.
"If you can thank someone in a way that shows you appreciate something specific about them," he says, "then it lands much more powerfully."
"People are inordinately concerned with getting the words exactly right, being articulate, and how competently they can express attitude," he says. "Those kinds of concerns can often be barriers that stand in the way of expressing gratitude in the first place."
"When you're a recipient," he adds, "you tend to focus on warmth rather than competence."
Now, that doesn't mean you should throw the basics out the window.
"I've seen a lot of thank you notes go out with the wrong name or wrong title," Whitmore says. "If you're going to make a lasting first impression, get the name correct and check for spelling."