DOWNTOWN DALLAS—In anticipation of summer, Dallas businessmen have moved away from the usual navy, black, or gray suits for more season-appropriate garments. Light blue Oxford button downs and khaki pants ubiquitously line the downtown offices and streets.
Eight other uniformly clad men nod their heads to support my interviewee.
Footwear has also changed with the season. Shoes range from tan to brown loafers instead of the usual black dress shoes. Navy sport coats are worn only for meetings. Ties are now optional as temperatures rise.
The octuplets behind him nod gravely.
When asked about what else they do to prepare for summer, none of the businessmen had any comment to give.
NOWHERE, TX—Mayor Leonard Justice of Nowhere has formed a municipal militia in order to monitor what he sees as the state's "recent militant actions." The mayor argues that cities have their own rights and should not have to yield to a state government.
Among his list of grievances with the state government are issues of property laws, state trooper harassment, and education.
"The guys sitting in leather chairs in Austin shouldn't tell us how to teach our children. Those guys don't know these Nowhere kids, so they shouldn't control what and how they learn. It just isn't right," the mayor tells us.
SMU—Southern Methodist University student Kate Browser, 19, may be trapped in the World Wide Web.
After finishing a final exam last Thursday, Browser reportedly escaped to the Internet. She spent an indeterminate amount of time reading "listicle after listicle" on Buzzfeed and other similar sites.
Whether Browser was actually sucked up into her computer or not is still being investigated.
Be sure to follow "Not So Breaking News" for developments on this story.