Who now buys the sheet music scores?
Now who sits as the hours go past?
Who will now sit in that chair?
Impossible not to feel sad for those times that are gone. Is that always the way? There must be many for whom an unhappy childhood is best forgotten. The past is always strange.
Just a few decisions still to be made and then...move on.
Altering the third line was the breakthrough here and moving the streamers to the next line. It took ages to find the word 'unwound' but that's what they were. Rolls of crepe paper which we pinned at one end and then twisted into curls. I'm quite happy with rhyming fire and air, too.
Just one more verse, I think.
is my addition to take up the rhyme from the first line.
Who lies on the lawn…..
Some important changes. Grass gives me more opportunities for the last – undecided – line. Changing the boys to boy alters the whole feel for me because suddenly the boy is me as well as being my son(s). And book would suit either much more than comic. The 'look' is a bit forced but in keeping with Hardy, I feel. Just the last line to work on.
A bit of a struggle but in the end a soluition usually emerges. I had to abandon the original first line which, ironically, was the one that had got me into using this poem / pattern. But it works and it's also true.
The standard lamp has had to go, too, though it might make a reappearance later. We did make a lot of noise and the soft furnishings helpoed to protect the neighbours just a bit.
Browsing through some poems of Thomas Hardy, I was struck by the structure of many of his poems: a lot of variation in line length and a resulting stop / start rhythm as well as interesting appearance on the page.
- is a beginning but of course, he has a rhyme scheme as well. That will need some work.