PRESENTER: Jimi and Sam, two refugees from Iran are at a disused petrol station somewhere in eastern Turkey expecting a people-smuggler to take them to Istanbul on the next leg of their journey to the UK. They are -- Waiting for Hasan.
JIMI:	Well, if we get caught we'll say we're snowmen.
SAM:	If we get caught count yourself lucky we'll be warm.
JIMI: With Turkish cops. Have you seen Midnight Express?
JIMI: Your friend Hasan, what does he look like?
SAM:	What does it matter what he looks like?
SAM:	He's slim Jimi, very thin, you can't eat him.
JIMI: I don't want to eat him.
SAM:	What difference does it make what he looks like?
SAM:	No need. I know who he is.
JIMI: And if you are asleep?
SAM:We'll lose him in the throng.
JIMI: Let's go back to Iran, I have a bad feeling about this.
SAM: And tell the border guards what? We took a day trip to Turkey? They'll think we are homosexuals -- If we get caught remember to point out we are smugglers.
SAM: We're less likely to get hanged.
JIMI: Sam, you are a real comfort.
SMITHY: Twenty-eight minutes to 11. Are refugees terrorists? Let's go straight to your calls. Ali in Acton.
CALLER:	(MIDDLE EAST' ACCENT) Smithy hello I am Ali.
SMITHY:	Hello Ali what would you like to say?
CALLER:	(RAISES VOICE) I am Ali.
SMITHY:	We can hear you Ali, make your point.
CALLER:	Yesterday I went to supermarket.
SMITHY:	You went to what?
CALLER:	Tesco. I went there to buy egg.
SMITHY:	You went to Tesco to 'buy egg'. Right, of what interest do you think that could be to people listening?
CALLER:	I bought flower as well.
SMITHY:	You bought a flower?
CALLER:	No, not flower -- flowerr. With egg to make cake.
SMITHY:	You bought flour. What's this got to do with terrorism?
CALLER:	Well, I left the flour in the shop.
CALLER: Well, I thought if I buy things to make cake and police catch me, they will think I am terrorist.
SMITHY:	If they talk to you they might think you're bonkers, but why would they think you're a terrorist Ali?
CALLER:	You see, the flour it looks like anthrax.
SMITHY:	(PATIENTLY) Okay... the flour looked like anthrax. So you left it in the shop. What did you do with the eggs Ali?
PRESENTER:	And now Waiting for Hasan.
JIMI:	What time is it?
JIMI:	You've got a watch.
SAM:	It's in my pocket.
JIMI:	Well get it out.
JIMI:	It's okay, I'll do it.
JIMI:	So let me get it.
SAM:	Get away, what are you doing?
JIMI:	You've gotta banana! You never told me.
JIMI:	We're supposed to trust each other!
SAM:	And trust is broken by a banana!
JIMI: Have you got any more?
SAM:	Yes, there's another banana up my sleeve.
JIMI:	Hold on take off your jacket.
JIMI: A parsnip! You devil! Why are you carrying a parsnip?
JIMI:	In case we see some rabbits!
SAM:	Rabbits don't eat parsnip.
JIMI:	What do they eat?
JIMI:	What's up your leg, fillet of lamb?
SAM:	No. A banana and asparagus.
JIMI: You should open a restaurant.