Ok, here's my delima. Sunday evening my daughter went to her boyfriend's house for a family cookout. Now my daughter is 17 and her boyfriend just turned 18. Sometime during the evening I got a funny feeling in my stomach that something was not right. I texted her and she said she was ok. When she got home, I told her I had the feeling that the boy's mother offered her alcohol. She got as white as a sheet and said "how do you do that?". His mother offered wine with dinner but couldn't find the glasses so they ended up having iced tea. My question is: do I call the mom on the unappropriateness of that evening or should I just let it go since the boyfriend is leaving for college on July 2? Of course she is not allowed to go back over there.
I kind og agree, If the mom calles you and ask you why your daughter is not alowed over then I would brouch the sub. if he was going to be around longer I would but you did deal with it already with your daughter, she will know two things. you love her ok three you are a good mom and most importently you are phycic I kept that mith going to this day with my girls when they are old it is great they think you know any way so they become your best frinds and tell you every thing.
Well, personally I don't feel wine with dinner is such a big deal. If your daughter knows you don't want her to drink underage she can always say no. If her mother offered her wine and she would be driving herself home, I would be more concerned. I think a 17 year old has been told about drinking and driving and the effects of drinking. It may be illegal to serve wine to minors but my daughter gets wine in church every Sunday, even if its only a small glass. I would allow your daughter back if there are no other issues and politely phone the mother and tell her that you would rather your daughter not be offered alcohol at her home. Why penalize your daughter. The big question is-does she allow her in the bedroom with the door shut? I would worry more about that.
We've already been throught the bedroom thing. His mom told the 2 of them they could watch a movie in his room and she wanted to the door shut so they could have some privacy. What the hell?? I am completely against that.
ok i dont think the wine is a big deal, but if it is to you and the mother KNOWS THAT, then i would be pissed...so, does the mom know that??
NOW, as for her shutting the door to give them privacy, I am totally with you. That is way out there for a mother to do...unless she wants a grandbaby, which maybe she does?
I wouldnt let my daughter over there either. Thats inappropriate, and I would not want to offer my daughter's ovaries to this kids stupid mom.
and i wouldt trust her to respect your wishes.
C'mom people, help me out. My daughter is a good girl, she's still a virgin, and never been a partier. I hate to cut her off from her boyfriend but his mother is freakin' nuts.
Listen to what liz said.
I agree with Liz. However,she should not be serving alcohol to anyone outside of her family. I will sometime let my son have one beer. But that is in my own home and only with my own child. Which is legal in my state. You should feel free to let her know your daughter is not allowed alcohol. And the fact that she did not drink when offerred is a good thing. If there are other issues involved I would not let her go there either. I have refused to let my kids go to someones house because I did not approve of their parents. Nothing wrong with that. It all depends on circumstances.
I agree with Liz. Serving wine is not a big deal. If u do not like it and your daughter agress, she shoudl learn to say no. No need to make an issue of this. But if u do meet the mom, tell her about ur feeling, friendly.
I would not talk to her about it unless asked. I am sure your daughter will tell the boyfriend why and if she comes to you then you can have the conversation. You can not change what other people do in their homes but you have done what you can and not allowed your daughter to go over there again. If things are happening that you disagree with then telling her she can no longer go there is exactly what a parent should do.
I think keeping her away from there says enough. But if the issue of why not? comes up, then you can talk about it. But as time goes by, talking about it will become more difficult. If you don't want your daughter drinking until 21 (or if you're in Cananda, won't matter for long anyway)it might be better to bring it up now, as it is likely to be offensive if you wait too long. Either talk about it, or let it go.
It will be more your daughter's call after she's 18, anyway. Her responsibility.
If she is going to go over there again, I would definately talk to her about,but you can also trust your daughter not to take the drink anyways at least i trusted mine she never drank,she is too afraid cause what it did to me.