The Brief Test Cricket Career of Ron Burgundy
I believe it was proud San Diegan and renown Anchorman Ron Burgundy who famously asked his moustache 'Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island?'.
This was merely seconds before he shaved it off with a bowie knife and without soap and then went about cleaning his beer bottles with sodium percarbonate.
Ron Burgundy had decided his lil mo's time had come and it had to be banished back to Whore Island (Where rumour has it, it hooked up with Vicky Pollard). And when Ron Burgundy says he'll do something, by Great Odin's raven, he does it.
Clean shaven, and looking as best a man can get, better than Tom Selleck getting his Friends groove on, Ron Burgundy took up playing Cricket for the US Cricket team, and the rest as this blog says, its cricket history.
Ron Burgundy became first drop for the USA team tour of India. In the first test he struggled in the heat and was out for a cheap 77 and a sublime match winning 301 not out in the second.
While having a few Kingfisher Beers after the test match, he noticed all the Indian team had moustaches and he asked the 14 year old debutante who scored a courageous 117 before Ron Burgundy bowled him with a flipper why it was so. Sunil replied that it made him feel manly and helped with the ladies.
"Thank You India" gasped Ron Burgundy. Knowing how Alanis Morrisette felt, he concluded concisely that he had made an error. So he sent a telegram by morse code to Whore Island summoning his missed 'tache.
In the second test, India had a second innings lead of exactly 800 runs when Ron Burgundy came out to bat. He was sans helmet and proudly showing off his newly attached 'tache. And first ball he was hit in the ovaries. A straight shot to the baby maker. Ron was carried off on a stretcher, never to play test cricket again.
And so in honour of Ron Burgundy and his moustache, test cricketers around the world grow the mo, goaties, lines of bum fluff and other novel creations. By proudly wearing their brilliant beards they are saying 'Yes I believe in Ron Burgundy, he stayed classy, right to the end.'
For SAS.
Cheap Stereotypes: cricket, the optimus prime experiment, we can be heroes
sas said...
Beautiful! I heart Ron Burgundy :)
He's a lengend in his own lunch hour...
would this have anything to do with movember?