So yes, destiny was eventually able to tame her most favourite child, shattering all her dreams. No one will tell you this, that how a mom smilingly gives up her flourishing career to confer on her little love all the love of the world but a part of her is crushed within her partially that day. She has worked hard for several years in her school and college and even across several jobs to reach this position in her professional life which she abandons for that's how we, most Indian women are conditioned. Easier said than done, isn't it? Unfortunately I favour her because perhaps no one can groom your child like you yourself until you have a strong support system at home.
I was a rebel so I wanted to break this perpetual trap so I kept working without till my kiddo was two, just with the support of different house helps but eventually failed on the support system front and resigned. Another weird reason, though I had almost immediately began to experience the void, I was happy to spend time with little A and S after what felt like eons of juggling between office, work and work related travel. I thus always thought of working from home so that I can have the best of both worlds but my degree and experience felt otherwise and it didn't become feasible. with time the void grew but later this void actually turned out to be blessing in disguise. I call it the void of inspiration.
I had a childhood dream ( Dreams are beautiful, aren't they ? They apprise you of the desires of your sub conscious). I may sound crazy but since I was very small, I didn't want to die unnoticed. I always wanted to do something that I will remain alive in the hearts of people even after I am gone and after years of blogging and publishing two books, I can say I have taken the first step in the right direction already. You can love me, you can hate me, but you can't ignore me suits me right no matter how clichéd it sounds😛. My academy where I help 6-60 years old bridge the gap between their intellect and expression, is perhaps another selfish motive to remain alive in their hearts even when I will be gone to be with mom in heavens above. Their kind words and appreciation quenches my soul's thirst and I feel I have inched a little bit more closer to my goals in life.
I am amazed, how we evolve each day in life and there are few incidents which make me eternally grateful to God for embedding the notion of having my academy in my head. I never say no to anyone who comes to me in it and my morning to afternoon slots are filled with house wives or working women desiring a boost in the way they communicate. You won't believe me in majority of the cases the problem is not with their communication skills but it is with their confidence. They are either under depressive tendencies due to midlife crisis or some other major problem at home which they can't share with anyone as they fear to be judged by the society. Some of them had even cried bitterly in their first session and thus I decided we will fix it up for them. They are all smart and educated modern women holding themselves back, all they needed was a stranger to embalm their bruised heart or tell them if wasn't bruised at all.We took one step at a time and sorted their mess, helped them carve their identity, get back their confidence and communicate openly. Their eventual smiles meant a world to me and this is how they made me a life coach. I realised I made an amaze ball listener and pretty fine at telling them what's gone wrong and c'mon let's fix it. Then, I wondered from where all this wisdom stems from...You remember I always write in my blogposts, I had a vision when I started my blog to bring forth as many true tales of Indian women as possible to prick the conscience of society and be the face of positive change and my first book is on the same topic as well. Weaving those tales and often contemplating for hours what could have been the best way out of the turmoil for them has probably taught me a lot though I may not always be right. I want to tell you this, one banker lady who read this book of mine once told me that my book has everything but not the solution of the problems of those women and her opinion has stuck in my head and probably now in my academy I give these solutions too if the need be. I basically study the gap in their skill set, identify its cause, what is holding them back and then make customised modules for them.
It would have been easier for me now to just brush up my skills and resume my career from where I left in a MNC and I am sure with initial hiccups I would have soon get over the inertia as I am still in touch with most of my bosses and team members willing to recommend me but that's now what my heart wants. My heart is happy writing and running my academy which of course doesn't pay me as handsomely as my MNC job but it helps me fulfil my childhood dream and I am happy with the little joys of life😊.