We see your skinny geek a-double-ess. Yeah, it's pathetic. But not to worry, we also see what you really want to be inside; you want to be the shiznit. The goddamn rock solid ghetto shiznit, yo.
But let us tell you this: you'll never get anywhere without a suitably awe-inspiring name - and that's where we come in. See, through our years of research, we've developed a way to take your (currently humdrum, boring, middle class nerd) name and turn it into something special. We'll make you be somebody, yo.
All you gotta do is fill in your first and last names below, and we'll do the magic. You can thank us later when you're up to your armpits in ghetto action and you've blown all those who disrespect you out of the water.
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