instagram, writing, and other random news.
I decided officially, today, that I would document this writing a book process. If only for myself, I wanted a place to be able to look back on and see the ins and outs, and maybe if you are someone who is in a similar boat, can commiserate with the journey!
In addition, after months away, I decided to open a public account on Instagram. A place I can be online, to share more of the day to day of myself as a writer. I don't for a moment regret my decision to leave social media all together last winter, and I have no plans to be anywhere on Facebook. Instagram however, allows me a platform to connect in a way that feels right.
With all that out of the way, here is where I am! It is interesting, how just days after my mom died in the fall of 2013, did I decide I would write a book. When she was sick, she said to me, "Ang, you know what I am going to do? When this cancer nonsense is over, I'm going to write a book. Will you help me, please?"
I agreed. And so, when she died, I felt I had to acknowledge this commitment, and began a ravenous process of writing. But I was in a dark place, I had no idea what trials lay ahead, and so, those first 35k words or so were rough. Rough in the sense that I wrote from a place of brokenness. I re-lived her death and the details as if my life depended on it.
And then, sucked dry, I would slam the lid closed on my Macbook, and walk away. This happened for months and months, until one day I decided I could no longer write it. That there was no redemption - my dad was still a mess, my marriage was falling apart, and my life was full of such anger and chaos, I had absolutely no happy ending in sight.
But then grace stepped in. Forgiveness. Kindness. Time did what it does, ever so slowly, and the shattered pieces of my heart began to mend. My husband still loved me, my friends didn't leave my side, and my relationship with my dad started to find healing.
It was then that I began to see how the story would end, the final pages of the book have already been written. Since, I have poured a good 20k words out from a place of joy, acceptance, peace. It is a huge work in progress. I keep thinking I'm near the end and then more things come back to me.
That is about where I am at. Writing. Writing. Lots of writing.
Additionally, I'm working on the proposal. Writing a killer query letter, or attempting so, and hoping to have a lovely little book proposal package ready in the next few weeks. Then? Who knows. I have no idea what the future holds, but I do believe God gave me this story for a reason, and that is good enough for me. I just pray continually that my words will reflect His grace on my life, that I will honor my mama's memory, and show that there is always, always, always hope.