There were three astronauts, a Russian, an American, and a Not-So-Bright American.
The Russian says we were the first in space. The American says we were the first on the Moon. The Not-So-Bright American says I will be the first to land on the sun.
A man with stutter went to a restaurant for dinner and ordered a steak, the waitress came with a salt cracker and asked, "Would you like some salt, sir?". The man replied "Ye..yes, p…p…please add…". The waitress cracks some salt onto the man's steak while the man persisted "…add…add…add…". Salt quickly piled up the steak like a tiny mountain, but the man would not stop insisting on adding more. Just when the waitress was about to stop and question, the stuttered man finally shouts out "…add…add…add just a little bit!!".
For gods sake! You'd think it would be safe leaving your car unlocked at a church parking lot on a Sunday! Apparently NOT.
Anyway, I got 4 iPhones and 6 Tablets.