The New Zealander charged with the murder of Grace Millane made a grovelling apology for the 'mistakes' he made in life.
The man, who is currently in police custody, said in letter posted in October that he had made a lot of 'bad decisions'.
The post said: 'My clear arrogance and selfishness have truly affected the relationship I have had with people in my personal life.
The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons, added: 'I am not proud of some (decisions)…I know that I was growing up, emotionally, mentally. When we grow up, we make mistakes. That's how we improve. In the exam of life, you can't retest yourself with the same question paper!
According to MailOnline ,he also blamed his failures for the stress in his life, and posted on Facebook: 'I've recently been diagnosed with severe anxiety and currently take medications to keep this under control.
It is understood his grandparents gave him money to live in the CityLife Hotel, where Grace was last seen on CCTV alive, but he blew his money on expensive watches and suits.
Earlier today, Grace's father David Millane took part in a traditional Maori blessing where her body was found.
Grace's body was discovered 12 miles outside of Auckland on Sunday, more than a week after she was last seen.
She was on a year-long worldwide trip after graduating from the University of Lincoln with a degree in advertising and marketing in September.
Detective Inspector Scott Beard addressed speculation about the case and said Grace's body was found 'intact' and said officers were looking for a long-handle shovel.
He said: 'At this point we don't know where this item is. 'It could be anywhere between the Scenic Drive and central Auckland areas.
'Someone may have come across it, picked it up and taken it home. We need to speak to that person or anyone who has seen it.
Officers said they have received 'hundreds' of calls about the case and investigators are trying to establish a timeline of events.