The Nerdist Commune
Rachel and I differ in a lot of ways. I really love overly sad stories and movies. The book I wrote and love more than anything else I have ever written is very sad. The reason it's sad is mostly because it's true and raw. It has a lot of things in it that happened to me and the way the characters fall in love and the heartbreak that comes after comes from my heart.
I turned to Rachel the other day and asked her "when do you think we should tell Penny about death?" She responded with when she's old enough to understand. I felt kind of weird about it. Rachel had to talk me into getting a dog because when my lost dog died it wrecked me. He also died on the same weekend that one of my aunts did. I have stood graveside way too many times in my life. One of them, the death of my best friend and brother, still hurts me. I will have to carry his death with my forever but that's okay, that's just what happens when someone close to you dies. What really hurts is that he will never get to meet Penny. Uncle Eric was something I have thought about since I was a kid.
I think having a dysfunctional family kind of made want to have a family of my own. So I could do everything different but include parts of my old life that were still a good thing. After Eric died that dream kind of did too. I didn't want to bring a child into the world and have them feel the pang of death. It's too hard.
A blog about where life is taking me.
Benjamin Chapman
Writer, critic, Help Desk Technician.