By Rachel Held Evans, on March 23, 2013.
This is the tenth post of our weeklong series, Into the Light: A Series on Abuse and the Church, which features the stories of abuse survivors, along with insights from professional counselors, legal experts, and church leaders about how to better prepare Christians to prevent and respond to abuse. Through the course of the series, we will be discussing child abuse, spiritual abuse, sexual violence and abuse, domestic violence, and bullying. Check out the previous posts here.
Before we conclude the series tomorrow morning with a list of resources and some final thoughts, I wanted to share a previous post of mine in which I issue a warning about the abusive teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl. I think it's important to speak bluntly and directly about this because the Pearl books remain inexplicably popular within many evangelical churches, but their teachings are incredibly damaging. So if your church is considering doing a study around Debi Pearl's Created to Be His Helpmeet or any of the Pearls' "No Greater Joy" material, please consider passing this post along to the leadership.
Lydia Schatz was seven years old when her parents beat her to death with a quarter-inch plastic tubing for apparently mispronouncing a word. The couple, who were later prosecuted, claimed to be following the "biblical" parenting techniques advocated by Michael and Debi Pearl.
Lydia is one of three children whose death has been linked to the teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl.
Through their "No Greater Joy Ministries," Michael and Debi Pearl teach a method of child discipline that centers around "breaking a child's will." The Pearls advocate using switches on babies and young as six months, and spanking older children with belts and plumbing tubes. Their book, To Train Up a Child has sold hundreds of thousands of copies and, under the guise of "biblical discipline," encourages parents to beat their children into submission, withhold food, and hose them down outside when they soil themselves.
Never reward delayed obedience by reversing the sentence. And, unless all else fails, don't drag him to the place of cleansing. Part of his training is to come submissively. However, if you are just beginning to institute training on an already rebellious child, who runs from discipline and is too incoherent to listen, then use whatever force is necessary to bring him to bay. If you have to sit on him to spank him then do not hesitate. And hold him there until he is surrendered. Prove that you are bigger, tougher, more patiently enduring and are unmoved by his wailing. Defeat him totally. Accept no conditions for surrender. No compromise. You are to rule over him as a benevolent sovereign. Your word is final.
The Pearls' teachings have been linked to the deaths of Sean Paddock, Lydia Schatz, and Hana Grace-Rose Williams.
My dear friend, and brave woman of valor, Elizabeth Esther has written extensively about the Pearls' abusive tactics.
But it's not just children who suffer from "No Greater Joys" ministries. When I was conducting research for A Year of Biblical Womanhood, I read Debi Pearl's popular book, Created to Be His Helpmeet…which I threw across the room a total of seven times.
It seems the Pearls believe that a wife should submit to her husband, even if it means her death…and presumably, the death of her children.
This is wrong. I cannot state it strongly enough: No act of abuse is justified by God, and no one is called to endure abuse out of a commitment to the Bible or to Jesus.
Why bring this to your attention? Because the Pearls are inexplicably popular in certain Christian circles, and abuse in the name of God must be spoken against.
If your church is considering using books by the Pearls as part of its curriculum, please say something. If you see friends or family employing their tactics, confront them. This is not simply a matter of different parenting methods or relationship styles—like Sears vs. Ezzo, or cloth diapers vs. disposable diapers, or complementarianism vs. egalitarianism—it's a matter of abuse.
There can be no more beatings, no more deaths…especially not in the name of Christ.
Be sure to check out Elizabeth Esther's blog for more on this topic. See also "Why Not Train a Child?" and Libby Anne's excellent series on "Created to Be His Helpmeet." And check out my thoughts on submission in context as part of our Mutuality series.
Tomorrow morning we will wrap up the series with a list of resources and some final thoughts.