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You're a Sellout. Really
Lesson 10 from: Unfu*k YourSELF
Self-improvement > Unfu*k Yourself > You're A Sellout. Really
10. You're a Sellout. Really
What We're Doing and What We're Not Doing
What are We Dealing with In Life
Uncovering your Upsets
The Weight of Our Problems in Life
Intervening with Yourself
A Reality Check
Moving Your Life a Level Up
[Gary John Bishop] You are a sell out. Really. You are a sell out. People would much rather aimlessly drift along in the morass of their automatic thoughts and behaviors than deal with changing the stuff that we've been discussing. Why? Just shout out from your seat. It's easier. It's easier. Nick. It's easier. It's easier, yeah, I mean The fear of the unknown The fear of the unknown, yeah. It's not as risky. Not as risky, to just drift along. Shelly. Lazy. Lazy. Unhappy the way things are. Unhappy the way, I know, right? Like, oh my gosh, Netflix really is good. (laughs) It is! It's kinda what we do! You don't drift alone. You don't drift alone, you hang out with a bunch of drifters. (laughs) Just drift along together! Cammie. What if I'm hated for who I really am? What if I'm hated for who I really am? Never seemed to bother me. (laughs) The reality is, Cammie, people are always going to have an opinion about you. You'd either going to have that shape ...
you, or you're just going to accept it. You know, I'd much rather live my life as a full expression than an apology. And some of you are quite willing to sacrifice your self expression for an apology. You'd rather just live under the radar than full on. So, the alternative to living a life of drifting along aimlessly takes real thinking. Takes real effort. It will take something from you to intervene in the quality of your life. You just can't buy in to all the usual BS that you buy into that you explain your life with! You're gonna need to identify what I call your sell out card. And you're gonna have to find the way to counter it. Your sell out card, if you look at the area of tech that you would go to work on and you would fill in the, four weeks or eight weeks worth of work in it, right? The boxes there that our demonstration of seven days, you'd do four of them for four weeks or eight of those for eight weeks to build this new habitual behavior of yours you're out to build. Your sell out card is that predictable experience you'll have from time to time that justifies selling out on yourself. And you know it! You know that, like, thing you do when you're selling out yourself. It's time to get some work done. It's hard, I'll have a coffee first. Coffee'll help. That'll help me get inspired. Get some juice in the old veins here. Or, you are working and you say, you know I'll just check Facebook quickly here. See what's going on in the world. So you don't have to keep going. Three hours later and you still haven't started working yet. But you'll notice it's the same story every time when you sell out yourself. You sell out on yourself for the same story. Those same thoughts pop up time and again. And they're not just mental. They're emotional, too. You have an experience of the whole sell out. You might have the experience of being stressed and overwhelmed so you'll sell out. It's too much. You're done. Or you need that little treat, it's been a long diet and you're doing it for six weeks. You've lost nine pounds. Lookin' pretty good. Not quite ready for the bikini and for the ladies, some of you might be the same. (laughs) Just making sure you're paying attention. Or sometimes it's like that headache that you keep getting. My head, my back problem. I'm busy, my mother, I need to go see my mom, she's how you sell out on yourself. It's always the same nonsense. I don't have time for it. Sell out. So, if you're committed to following through with this course, as it completes, you're going to have to identify that sell out card that you play in the area of your life. And that waving that card comes up in very real terms. You'll have something called choice. See your sell out card is so hazy to you. Haven't quite worked out what it is. It's not clearly defined and distinguished for you. So who would like to work on a sell out card of yours. One that you pull out that you'd like to kind of distinguish it for yourself. Who'd like to who'd like to do some work with me to Alright, Trish at the front. What's the area you want to go to work on? I think I really want to get to I started with the I'm not worthy stuff and Yeah. It kind of got more cloudy, so I was like okay, it's not that. I think it's more of the making myself do it. Right. I get stuck and I don't complete it. Alright. Alright very good so how many of you start things and don't finish them? Ooh! Well at least you'll finish this course so that's good. It's a little notch in your belt right there. So do you start things and then you don't see it through? Yes. Alright and then, what do you what do you say to yourself to justify it? I have fibromyalgia. Alright so have fibromyalgia, that's what I say to myself. Most of the time. That's good, how many of you use your health as an excuse for not living full out. Get those unhealthy arms in the air. (laughs) I mean look, there is reality to your fibromyalgia, right? There really is a reality to it. Yeah. But you know, you and I both know you milk the crap out of that though. I have. I know. Ouch! Alright, and it's real, and it hurts and it's painful and it's something to deal with and it's not to be trivialized and you milk the crap out of it. I have. Very good, thank you. Thanks for your authenticity. Very good. And so when you're in that space of it's my health, your experience of yourself, your emotional state of it is what? Depression. Depressed! My experience myself is I'm depressed. How many of you have that experience of yourself! I am depressed! Right, very good. And then what do you do? Get lazy. Okay, so that's more of an experience. What do you actually do. Something you do and you do it a lot, like you keep going to it and doin' that thing. Fairly typical, do this instead. Anything. I will find anything else to do than what I need to do. Alright, and typically for you that would be? Anything on the computer. I might go to the computer! Yeah. (whistles) Right? Yeah. Very good. Fibromyalgia. At the computer. (laughs) Yes. Givin' you a little bit of irony there. These hurt. Okay, I got it. So, you'll see you've each got a sell out card. If you're watching the show online right now, the course online you'll have these downloaded documents. But you gotta fill out your sell out card. You gotta ask yourself what's at stake in your life. So what's the life you're after, a life of what? Harmony. I want harmony. Very good! That's so good. That's it. (laughs) And you got yours as a life of love and excitement, right? You gotta live for yourself, what's the life I'm after? I'm after a life of and you can ask the established, this is the life I'm after. And then you would say, when I sell out, I say, what do you say to yourself? It's easier to not do them to do it. Alright so it's kinda like, I'll do it later? Yeah. I'll do it later. Mmhmm. And when I sell out, I feel depressed! And when I sell out, I usually go to the computer! Yeah. Do you get that? I do. Alright. So what's at stake here is a life of harmony, and when I sell out, I say I'll do it later. And when I sell out, I feel depressed. And when I sell out, I go to the computer. You get that? Get it. Alright, good. Now you'll see on the back end of that card. Here's what you're saying. When all of that's there, that experience of how what you're saying, how you're feeling, what you're doing. When that's all there, you gotta come up with something else. What do you want to do instead? I have to get into action. Stay away from the computer. Too vague. (laughs) It's gotta be like definitive. What are you gonna do instead when you're in the presence of selling out? What are you immediately gonna do right there, you know if you did this and you kept doing this would be an interruption to the drift of who you've become. What would be something you could do right there and keep doing that right there when you're in the presence of that that would be evidence for you turning your life around. I could meditate. Very good. So right there, this is so good! What's at stake is a life of harmony. When I sell out, I say I'm gonna do it later. When I sell out, I feel depressed. When I sell out, I usually go to the computer. This is the way I will interrupt the drift and you would write in there, instead of that, I'm meditating. You get that? The meditation's an example of you interrupting the drift of how you sell out on what it is that really matters to you. What really matters to you is a life of harmony. And meditation is an example of you living a life of harmony. Does that make sense to you? Yes. Think how simple that is? Yes. So you can take that little card, and you would use it as a bookmark in your book, called Unfuck Yourself. And if you're stuck (laughs) you would open up that book, you would read a page, and you would open up your little sell out card and you'd go like, I am totally sellin' out myself right now. I'm getting ready to do it. And when I this is what I wanted you guys to get. That's all that's in the way! Nothing in your way! You're a miracle of being! And you gotta interrupt the drift of who you've become, by identifying what's in the way. And by starting to identify new actions that you could take, that would be an example of the life you say you're after. Level up by level up by level up by chunk by chunk by chunk and that's why I recommend people buy this course because you get to come back and redo the course with a different item in mind! Or what about this area and what about that area?! And what about this thing and that thing?! Well I taught myself out of it! And I'm gonna do a sell out card for that too! Until I start a I interrupt the drift of my nonsense! And you gotta start relaying to it lie that even though you've given it a lot of significance in the past, interrupt it by action. New action. Building these four week and eight week habits to become the life that I say I'm after. Does that make sense? Completely. Alright let's acknowledge Trish, you guys. (applauding) Okay, so does anybody have any questions so far? Are any questions about what you're left with actually is more really, the question I would like to ask you. Yeah, Deborah. So I feel some confusion around this kind of opposite, on the one hand I have this I'm too much thing, on the other hand, I'm never enough. It can't quite sort. What's the core? So when you say you're too much, what do you mean by that? Everything from personality, too much intensity. Yeah. I overwhelm people I come at them. That's how you overcome I'm not enough. It's just a mechanism. It's so boring, too. But that does feel, it feels, it does feel like an essential piece, like it's not all bad, right? No it's because you're 'Cause I do have a ton of energy. What you're talking about right now are the places where it gets it done. Places where it gets it done. I don't know what you mean. There's places in your life where energy and that positivity and that charisma gets it done but at some level, you're full of that. (laughs) It ain't gettin' it done. It ain't gettin' it done, your personality ultimately doesn't accomplish what you're after. True. (whispers) I know. (laughs) It's not being arrogant, I only know because I know my own personality. Yeah. And this is about starting to live the life that you would say you really want. But not like, a want to fix something. More like the life that I want right now in these circumstances that I'm in. It's not like a want, like a Mercedes want. It's a want like I love you. Or I'm scared. I get that. You understand? And you're scared. Yes. Pretending you're not. Sometimes. Yeah. Now all the time Sometimes I don't pretend. You can't contain it! But then the pretense has to kick in again. That make sense? Yes. So it's this pendulum your personality's there to overcome the thing that we've been talking about. So the 'I'm too much' is all just trying to make up for that you're not worthy. It's just trying to make up for that. Like, prove yourself or something. Yeah. (laughs) What are you trying to prove? To who? Everybody's watching me! (laughs) No they're freakin' not! They're dealing with their own stuff! They're trying to overcome themselves! Watching you overcoming yourself! Some of them are saying, she tries too hard. Yeah. I've heard that for years. I know! Give it up, you're great! Cut it out! (laughs) Really! Just cut it out! Just go be a contribution. Stop bumping your gums about yourself. Nobody cares. I do find this haven of peace when I feel like there's a connection that I get rid of whatever's going on here and I'm just serving someone else. It's when you get yourself interested in somebody else's stuff, your stuff seems to just magically disappear. That's right. It's called make the difference I think they call it. Yeah. Get on the go for quite a while. (laughs) Alright, who else has got a question? Right there I think somebody give Dave a microphone. Yeah what I'm coming away with is the joy of the doing and I've been dominated by that. Yeah. And all of a sudden there's a self expression and a sharing and a giving that I can now provide that I've been like, putting this lid on Yeah. That I get to unleash. Yeah! And that really is fully critical that people get a little bit of what they've seen for themselves here like your life is lived and the action part of it, that's where your life is lived. But as human beings we're very much trapped in the experience of it. And that was what really had me go, holy shit I've been thinking about this stuff and not doing it and apathetic and sleeping in and staying up late, not taking these actions Right. I've been burdened by the doing and all of a sudden the doing is a joy. Right, the doing is where it's all happenin'! Like you don't have to you don't have to get yourself pumped up with another Monster energy drink or something. You know you can go and just go and do. It's interrupting the drift, like instead of now to perpetuate what's been there it's like, interrupted and pick up them dishes and take them into the kitchen. Right! And then really And it's that simple! I just need to pick the dishes up right now! Where's that sell out card?! Yeah (laughs) No it's like, yeah. Yeah! And it really is and that's the habit you're out to build over time it's like the ability to interrupt the drift of all of that internal noise. Yeah. I'm not loved, I'm not worthy, I'm not smart, I'm not capable, I can't do it, I'm this Yeah the conversation I've had that I was overcoming is it's good enough. Very good. Yeah. Awesome. Listen, nice, Dave. Are you good now? (applauding)
Workbook - Unfu*kYourself
Gary John Bishop began his life journey in Glasgow, Scotland. The grit and wit of his early life have contributed to his tough-love, in-your-face approach to coaching. Coupled with world-class training and development, Gary has created a potent brew of effectiveness and the ability to reach through the crust of people's lives and root out the deeper issues that consume them and tie them to their hurdles. <span style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34);">Gary John Bishop is the author of <a href="http://www.garyjohnbishop.com/author/">Unfu*k Yourself, Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life</a>. </span>
Sonya L
LOVE THIS CLASS. This is the best class I have even followed. So inspiring. A few words to describe the class transparent, sincere, fun, inspiring, and motivational. I felt like I was in the studio with everybody else. Best class ever. Thank you all of you.
Gary Manzo
I found the course helpful in identifying my own areas of concern. Accepting that I must take a stand, for the life I want, is very significant and meaningful. As an artist, I realize I want to be considered "great" and without living/acting like a great artist I will never realize the goal, or experience the journey which is as important and satisfying as some sort of finalized goal. I recall hearing the expression, "what you pretend to be you become" years ago. Not until today it the meaning "click" with me as a enjoyable "ah ha" moment.
Gary has a wonderful ability to give you a step-by-step approach to improving your life significantly. I've listened to many thought leaders and I found his assignments and grounding in amazing philosophers to be entertaining, achievable and inspiring.
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