It took a long time for me as a highly reserved and shy INFJ to realize I had anything to contribute to any conversation. Even reading self help books did not truly change my perspective. My internal world was so compelling that I overlooked one of its most pervasive aspects. Simply, I could feel other people! I did not have a clue that my ability to feel another was my contribution. Empathy is a world class gift we INFJs bring to any situation. It takes some maturity and as you stated, self acceptance, to get there, but the truth is we can have confidence that our empathy is valuable, and that other people like to talk about themselves! Using genuine empathy to start a conversation and then listening and responding was like dropping a duck in water.
This became a beginning for me, a place to start to connect with others. It took a lot of work to build the confidence in myself as a speaker as well as a listener, but it happened step by step.
I even enjoy public speaking now, as long as I'm interested in the subject and focused on something meaningful I want to get across! Still an INFJ….
Good for you, Toni! The life coach in me notices the powerful way you talk about being yourself and the INFJ in me notices how much work you did to get where you are.
Great article! This helps me a lot!