You know that you are working hard to take care of you family and your man and that you rarely have time to take care of yourself or do something that you would like to do. No matter how hard you work at things, he still finds ways to question your motives and expresses doubt that you really do care like you say you do.
You find that he never forgets the time you were able to go out with your friends or stop by to visit your mom. He recounts to you often how many times you went out or got away compared to how many times he was able do so. If he gets out more often, he reasons that most of his outings don't count but yours always do.
It seems that no matter how hard you work at doing your job in the home and taking care of your family, he continually questions your motives. He thinks you are doing things simply because you want something from him or because you feel you have to do your "required duty." You end up feeling continually robbed of almost all the joy that comes from taking care of your family.
When you bring up a topic to try to problem solve in order to get it behind the two of you, he uses it as a forum to brow beat you and repeatedly drives home his point, no matter how hard you try to work toward a solution.
The two of you may be going to a special event; he comes into the room and compliments you about how you look, and even before you have a chance to compliment him, you are in trouble for not doing so. If you do not thank him immediately for something he has done, you never hear the end of it. He will let you know that you had plenty of opportunity to compliment or thank him; but as you recall the situation, you know you never had a chance to do so before you were attacked.
You find that before you are even one sentence into answering a phone call, he demands to know who you are talking to. He can't stand it if you get a text and respond to it if he doesn't know who it is and what the conversation is about.
You know that you place a priority on him and your relationship together and that you are sensitive to his concerns about the time you spend with your close friends. You cut back on the time you spend with your friends and limit conversations and texting with them; but he still argues with you and insists that it is too much time with them, and you care about them more than you care about him.
Even when you are going out of your way to avoid an argument with him, he seems to find things that you have done wrong or points out the fallacy in your thinking. Then, no matter how you respond, you just get into more trouble with him.
If you are living with an insecure husband and the problem is not addressed, you are eventually going to run out of gas in the relationship. You may get to the point where you want out all together no matter what help or changes he is willing to try. Before you get to that point, do some work to strengthen your resolve and self-esteem and then determine some hard and fast boundaries that you are willing to set in order to institute genuine change in the relationship.