My wages have to go towards rent and other essentials, but no, after last week I should have run out and bought some shagpile carpets, funky ashtrays and pants with tigers printed on them.
And the ugly shagpile I encountered at The Maxwell has hardly done anything to change that.
There is a white shagpile rug on the wooden floor, with white sofas facing towards a flash sound system and widescreen TV.
When I was a kid, rich people had bars in their houses usually attached to a lounge, resplendent with shagpile carpet and a massive exposed rock fireplace.
Kick off your shoes, tread lightly across the shagpile, snap open a Babycham, ease back in your Parker Knoll recliner and smooch your way through this little lot like the silky smooth operator you know you can be.
It was too posh - gold chandeliers, shagpile carpet, the room as big as the ground floor of my house.
Two $1,000 cheques fluttered on to my shagpile when I opened one of my three Christmas cards just before the festivities kicked off.
The cleaner can be used on all coverings, from shagpile carpets to wooden floorboards and ceramic tiles, and is fitted with a soft tread on the castors and wheels to protect even the most sensitive floor coverings.
We walk upstairs on a moth-eaten cream shagpile.
All those termites play havoc with the shagpile.
Since it's covered in thick brown nylon shagpile carpet, Clocky might never be found.
The massive heart attack he suffered caused The King to fall face first from his toilet on to the shagpile carpet below with his pants around his ankles.