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Wed Apr 21, 2021, 12:59 PM
yardwork (55,670 posts)
Brides' wedding was ruined when videographer walked out before vows
For folks who wonder why us LGBT people care when videographers, photographers, bakers, and other businesses discriminate against us, please read this article.
https://www.newsobserver.com/news/local/article250821389.html
A Charlotte videographer who had contracted to capture images of a wedding this month in Hendersonville walked out as the ceremony started when he realized the couple getting married were both women.
Bride Clarissa Templeton said Seth Curl's sudden departure — without speaking to anyone at the event — was devastating to her and her now wife, Teegan Bullock Templeton. It cast a pall over their once-in-a-lifetime moment and left them with no professional footage of their vows, though they had paid in full for the service.
As she was selecting vendors for the wedding, Templeton said, she was careful to search for LGBTQ-friendly businesses and as she talked to their representatives, made sure they knew she was planning a same-sex wedding.
Templeton did that, she said, "Because of where I live and how I've grown up and the people I've been around, the things I have experienced from people who don't know me, because of who I love and who I'm with."
39 replies, 5514 views
Brides' wedding was ruined when videographer walked out before vows (Original post)
yardwork Apr 2021 OP
Rule #1 never pay up front for anything
MagickMuffin Apr 2021 #1
In the world of wedding vendors, upfront payment is required.
yardwork Apr 2021 #8
A-hole, you had one job and you violated the social contract to be a good human
RANDYWILDMAN Apr 2021 #2
Given that she announced it in advance
DENVERPOPS Apr 2021 #13
A shame. And she looked for a friendly business to do the photo shoot too. So did the photog.
SWBTATTReg Apr 2021 #3
Read the whole article. It's disgraceful.
yardwork Apr 2021 #10
Thanks for posting this and the link which has all the details.
SharonClark Apr 2021 #4
That is really a sweet thing for her aunt to do
Hekate Apr 2021 #5
sh*tty thing to do.
Demovictory9 Apr 2021 #6
seth curl.. young guy to be such a bigot
Age is evidently not an issue for bigotry.
Harker Apr 2021 #15
This is why I've never bought...
Montauk6 Apr 2021 #18
Rebl2 Apr 2021 #22
People have been saying that since at least the 50s
Withywindle Apr 2021 #28
Yeah, I never bought that or people saying, "99% of people are good people"
SunImp Apr 2021 #39
Groomed by his church/parents to be a bigot.
progressoid Apr 2021 #21
That was nasty, but I hope in time it becomes just another family story to roll their eyes over...
Actually, many of the people who love them couldn't be there, because of COVID.
Yes, it was awful. But they have a choice...
Hekate Apr 2021 #12
I don't understand people who hold such grudges like this
cinematicdiversions Apr 2021 #25
In this case it's becsuse of the bigotry . It would be different if
JI7 Apr 2021 #34
Hendersonville, N.C.
Traildogbob Apr 2021 #14
Thank you for posting.
Behind the Aegis Apr 2021 #16
What you said.
Videographer is now seeing consequences
IbogaProject Apr 2021 #17
me, I, I, me, my, my, my, I, I, I, I...and then he apologizes.
Iggo Apr 2021 #30
these folk need to put in their web pages they don't serve gay folk
Skittles Apr 2021 #31
He needs to have his ass sued off, his reputation ruined for life. Bigots and Racists - No quarter.
Tommymac Apr 2021 #32
Why do I get the feeling he knew this was a same sex wedding ahead of time.
patphil Apr 2021 #19
Yeah, he knew. He's just surprised no one's backing him up.
Wow...so fragile n/t
hibbing Apr 2021 #20
You mean the photographer? I thought so too.
I hope she can successfully sue
kcr Apr 2021 #23
So this wasn't a situation where she tried to "provoke" a bigot
ibegurpard Apr 2021 #24
I'm thinking the vendor did it on purpose. After all that planning to be sure a LGBTQ-friendly
Solly Mack Apr 2021 #26
I hope there's a way to sue this clown for breach of contract
Vogon_Glory Apr 2021 #27
how very christian of him. ugh. people are just so horrible. I sure hope he gets his karma.
FlyingPiggy Apr 2021 #33
Response to yardwork (Original post)
MagickMuffin (14,141 posts)
1. Rule #1 never pay up front for anything
you can make a deposit, but never pay the full amount, as you are more likely to never see it again.
Response to MagickMuffin (Reply #1)
8. In the world of wedding vendors, upfront payment is required.
It's just the way it is. We had to pay in full, upfront, to secure a wedding photographer five years ago. It was that or forgo the service.
RANDYWILDMAN (2,350 posts)
2. A-hole, you had one job and you violated the social contract to be a good human
You film and send it out with best wishes.
IF, after this you disagree pre screen your clients otherwise film and shut the front door...
Response to RANDYWILDMAN (Reply #2)
DENVERPOPS (7,196 posts)
13. Given that she announced it in advance
to vet the companies, I have to believe it was intentional.............
Sadly, she will not have a recorded video to look back on in future years of the glorious event.
My wife and I sit down on our anniversary and view our wedding every year, and have for 35 years.....
It is a shame that they will not be able to do this, just because of some asshole photographer's bigotry............
SWBTATTReg (19,172 posts)
3. A shame. And she looked for a friendly business to do the photo shoot too. So did the photog.
misled her in his advertisement? Perhaps grounds for a civil court lawsuit, if they wish to pursue, and also, perhaps enough folks had pictures to share w/ the happy couple too, they snapped themselves.
Some people are just plain mean and bigots too. A real shame.
Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #3)
10. Read the whole article. It's disgraceful.
SharonClark (9,494 posts)
4. Thanks for posting this and the link which has all the details.
What a creep who thinks "his faith", whatever that is, allows him to ruin a wedding.
Thank goodness for her pro-active aunt who worked with Tolman Media to do the best they could to remedy an awful situation...
Templeton's aunt, Cheryl Grindle, who lives in New Mexico and was unable to attend the wedding, negotiated with Tolman Media to get the company to gather any photos and videos made by friends and family at the wedding, along with any footage the second videographer took, and create a video for the couple at no cost. Hillyard confirmed the company plans to do so.
Karma, and maybe a personal lawsuit from the brides or the media company, will get Seth Curl in the end.
Response to SharonClark (Reply #4)
Hekate (81,725 posts)
5. That is really a sweet thing for her aunt to do
Demovictory9 (29,762 posts)
6. sh*tty thing to do.
7. seth curl.. young guy to be such a bigot
Response to Demovictory9 (Reply #7)
Harker (11,693 posts)
15. Age is evidently not an issue for bigotry.
I also tend to have a subtle presumption that youth equals openness, then I remember that the first to equate age and wisdom is an old fool.
There were many youthful insurrectionists in the Capitol on January 6th.
Montauk6 (7,091 posts)
18. This is why I've never bought...
...that notion saying, "fear not, the bigots will die out and a more enlightened generation will replace them."
Response to Montauk6 (Reply #18)
Rebl2 (9,820 posts)
22. Same here
Many young people in conservative areas as well as rural think like their parents/grandparents.
Withywindle (9,903 posts)
28. People have been saying that since at least the 50s
Unfortunately a new generation of young bigots always manages to rise up to replace the old ones.
SunImp (2,177 posts)
39. Yeah, I never bought that or people saying, "99% of people are good people"
The idea that God is watching over them or these sayings are just things people use to put themselves at ease with this shitty world we live in. If we really want to live in a better world we need to actively change it for the better by teaching our kids good beliefs and values, while making sure that the beliefs of toxic people are never passed on.
progressoid (47,679 posts)
21. Groomed by his church/parents to be a bigot.
I know of young people like this. A former friend who's kids seem friendly, but are rabid bigots because of their upbringing.
9. That was nasty, but I hope in time it becomes just another family story to roll their eyes over...
Let me tell you about my first wedding: the photographer was a complete no-show. I asked the guests to send me copies of the photos they were taking and I built a nice wedding album out of what they did for love.
But wait, there was more, lots more. The wedding was held in my parents' back yard, and one week before the event we woke up to find the County was digging up the street to a depth of 3 feet. My mother never got the message, if indeed there had been notification at all. Just — 3 feet deep. The workmen promised ramps at the end of each workday, but it made proposed delivery of the rental chairs, flowers, and food a bit iffy.
The dog ran away, and when my younger sis and I finally found him he had some extremely vicious stickers stuck all over his belly that took a lot of time to cut away.
Oh yes, the back yard. My sister and I were raised with the knowledge that there were no fairy princesses here. It was nice though, with the fruit trees and flowers, and the people who knew us and wished us well. The chairs did come in time, which was a really good thing given that the groom turned pale about the time he said "I Do" and Mom was able to shove a chair under him just as his knees gave way.
The guitarist was a friend of a friend of my Dad's .... we were told he was having some trouble with alcohol and might be a no-show. Gaah. He showed up, played some classical music, and was in every way a gentleman.
What else. Because there was definitely more, oh my god, but it's been 50 years.
Let me tell you about my second wedding, 33 years ago. The weather was clear, it was October, and suddenly the temperature was 103 degrees. The cake started to melt. And so it went. We are still married.
For better or for worse.
So, to the two brides: I lift a virtual toast and send my love as I do to all couples on their weddings The people who love you were there.
Response to Hekate (Reply #9)
11. Actually, many of the people who love them couldn't be there, because of COVID.
That's why they contracted with a videographer, so that they could send the video to those who couldn't be there. And having the videographer walk off the job, with no notice, meant there was very little they could do to recover. The brides weren't even told that he had left until AFTER the ceremony.
Response to yardwork (Reply #11)
12. Yes, it was awful. But they have a choice...
To focus on the good-hearted aunt who is going to make sure a video is made...
To decide it's not the end of the earth and they have a whole life together henceforth...
Write a different "story" — which is what I did...
Or, do as my sister has done and still get steaming mad about what happened at her wedding 36 years ago on the rare occasions it gets brought up.
The videographer who broke his contract owes them not just a full refund but substantial damages. He needs to get really bad Yelp reviews. He is a complete asshole, and the world should know it.
Response to Hekate (Reply #12)
cinematicdiversions (1,969 posts)
25. I don't understand people who hold such grudges like this
"Or, do as my sister has done and still get steaming mad about what happened at her wedding 36 years ago on the rare occasions it gets brought up"
It is so self-defeating to hold a grudge like this, but we all have people in our lives that do so.
Response to cinematicdiversions (Reply #25)
JI7 (87,625 posts)
34. In this case it's becsuse of the bigotry . It would be different if
it was an accident or mistake.
Traildogbob (6,398 posts)
14. Hendersonville, N.C.
The people that brought us a Nazi, Hitler fan boy, college sexual assaulting prick, Lier about acceptance into military academy, illiterate, immature, never held office, in a wheel chair from drunk college spring break GQP, Marginal Traitor Green, Bang Bang Barbie BroBart wanna be.
Surprised gay people reside there, without being ran away.
Behind the Aegis (51,521 posts)
16. Thank you for posting.
For all the talk about systemic bigotry, many seem to forget, not acknowledge, or understand systemic heterosexism/homophobia. The article points out the EXTRA fucking steps she took, that many of us take, in order to make we aren't fucked over because we are GLBT, and yet, we still get ripped off, demeaned, or worse. Too many say shit like, "well, if I were queer, I wouldn't want such and such doing my what-have-you.", which isn't the goddamned point! The point is we have to jump through hoops just to line shit up and even then, as per this article, it still isn't enough.
Heterosexism and homophobia are fucking real and it's about time people start to wake the fuck up and smell the rainbow!
Response to Behind the Aegis (Reply #16)
36. What you said.
IbogaProject (1,505 posts)
17. Videographer is now seeing consequences
Here is that lazy coward's email after he got a whirlwind of online backlash and ruined his name and reputation for contract videography.
"This destroys me that I've ended up in a position where I am getting so many people saying so many negative things about me, my life, my career, and my beliefs. I've never been in a situation like this before, and I try at all costs to avoid things like this. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do that and want this to be right. I am so sorry Clarissa and Teegan for everything. I pray that we can move forward and try to find some middle ground for all of this. I don't expect this to fix everything immediately, but I hope it's a step in the right direction."
"Middle Ground"? he took the money and he did zero due diligence. He agreed and signed a contract and accepted payment for this job. Crybaby is now sad he messed up. The christian thing would have been to do the job and be more careful and keep his discrimination to before he signs a contract rather than afterwards.
Response to IbogaProject (Reply #17)
Iggo (46,292 posts)
30. me, I, I, me, my, my, my, I, I, I, I...and then he apologizes.
Poor baby.
Skittles (147,773 posts)
31. these folk need to put in their web pages they don't serve gay folk
that way ALL OF US non-bigots can decline their services
Tommymac (7,233 posts)
32. He needs to have his ass sued off, his reputation ruined for life. Bigots and Racists - No quarter.
I feel ZERO empathy for this bigoted racist person.
He deserves no mulligan. Maybe in 30 years he'll grow a conscience and really understand what he did and how it took something irreplaceable away from the couple, and a whole class of people too. At that point I'd re-evaluate but I'll be long for this world.
patphil (4,451 posts)
19. Why do I get the feeling he knew this was a same sex wedding ahead of time.
It sounds like Clarissa had made it clear to him, or someone in his business, when he was hired to do the photography at the wedding.
Response to patphil (Reply #19)
29. Yeah, he knew. He's just surprised no one's backing him up.
Did he think he'd be treated like a fucking hero for shitting on these ladies' wedding ceremony?
hibbing (9,463 posts)
20. Wow...so fragile n/t
Response to hibbing (Reply #20)
37. You mean the photographer? I thought so too.
Too fragile to honor his contract, too fragile to tell his customers why he was walking off the job, and too fragile to apologize until weeks later when the backlash hurt his business. He seems like a big crybaby to me.
38. Yep!
kcr (15,243 posts)
23. I hope she can successfully sue
But it's NC.
ibegurpard (16,685 posts)
24. So this wasn't a situation where she tried to "provoke" a bigot
She made a real good faith effort to find someone who would be willing to do the job and he screwed her.
This is why this kind of shit can't just be dismissed as "find another photographer."
He needs to be nailed to the wall for this.
Solly Mack (88,724 posts)
26. I'm thinking the vendor did it on purpose. After all that planning to be sure a LGBTQ-friendly
vendor was hired, the vendor walks out because he claims he didn't know?
Nah. That vendor did it on purpose.
This is so much bullshit all the way around. Bullshit of others that was heaped on the couple.
Having to work harder to find a business run by decent people - and yes, my definition of decent includes not being a bigot - and then for that vendor to simply walk away. No notice. No nothing. Walk away after taking the money. After agreeing to a service.
Disgusting behavior.
Vogon_Glory (8,642 posts)
27. I hope there's a way to sue this clown for breach of contract
If he took their money and then started waving his Bible as an excuse for skipping out, I fail to see why he shouldn't be taken to civil court like any other scam artist. He contracted to perform a service and then walked out, just like a sleazy roofer or appliance repairman.
What's more, I hope his business can get put on the list for shady and dodgy outfits.
Q: How do you rate this service?
State your reason below:
This contractor took our money and then quit without performing his contracted service.
FlyingPiggy (3,163 posts)
33. how very christian of him. ugh. people are just so horrible. I sure hope he gets his karma.
Response to FlyingPiggy (Reply #33)
35. No shit.
Time after time after motherfucking time, the Christian thing to do turns out to be fucking someone over.
"Christian." I don't think that word means what they think it means.
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