The end of the year is typically a time for reflection of what is behind, coupled with anticipation of what is ahead. I'm faithful to this practice. Even if the "Publish" button isn't clicked until days after January 1, it still counts.
While the list of personal accomplishments of 2018 is not short, the value of reflection is not in reveling in self-admiration. The value is in what I learned and how these experiences are shaping me. Honest evaluation shows me how to improve, which is the ultimate goal for me.
I completed 36 credit hours of college this year. Two of the three semesters I landed on the Dean's list. I learned that I can meet high performance levels when there are clear objectives before me.
I served as a Sea Turtle Patrol volunteer once a week for 6 months. I made a great friend and thoroughly enjoyed the morning walks on the beach. And saving turtles. I learned that early morning commitments can be magical when you're doing something you love.
I ran an entire 5k without stopping once as part of the Wanderlust Mindful Triathlon. There was so much pride in setting this goal and meeting it. I learned that running is a mental game – along with just about everything else.
I lost 25 pounds and dropped from a size 12 to a size 6. This happened mainly because turning 50 (oh yeah, I did that too!) was a number I could not change. I learned that I can apply the Serenity Prayer to everything.
I entered into a romantic relationship (hey Prince Charming). While there have been a few bumps here and there, it has been a wonderful experience with the hope of more to come. I learned it's okay to be vulnerable and I can still be myself while being a partner.
I discovered that I have a green thumb, and am now the proud caretaker of 8 indoor plants as well as about a dozen outdoor plants. While there have been a couple of casualties along the way, overall it feels amazing to see green happy plants in my world. I learned that my past doesn't define my future.
So…all this explains why I feel tired. And why binging on Netflix lately has felt so fabulous. I've spent more time on my couch in the past month than I have the previous 12 months combined.
While 2018 was big and I learned a lot, I missed out on more than couch time. There were fewer sunsets the beach, only a dozen-ish blog posts, and a handful of finished canvases. I know I cannot do everything. When I look back, it feels like I was in a contest for who could do the most things in a year. If there was such a thing, I should have at least gotten third place. Either way, I'm not repeating the frenzy of 2018.
My life and what I put in it is totally up to me. Next year is looking good, but different. It holds only a couple of big things, like graduating college and a trip to Europe. Beyond that, it's more about what I will not be doing.
I am not raising my hand for any new hobbies or projects or volunteer opportunities. I am not making endless to-do lists. I am not saying yes to more things, even when they are good. I am not stressing myself out. I am not entering the contest this year.
How are you approaching your new year? Is your list ridiculously long? Are you content with where you are and what you're doing? Change the things you can, friend, and let go of the rest.