Headlines you may have skimmed over on May 21.
The week before a long weekend is always the worst, amirite? But it's OK. It's only Monday, but we'll get through it together.
Whatcha gonna do when Wilbur comes for you?
When a Cleveland man called the police around 5:30 a.m. to report a porky stalker, law enforcement didn't believe him that he was actually being followed by a real life pig.
The swine was swiftly placed under arrest (OK, it was placed in a police car and taken safely home).
"Is this real life?" the police department wrote in a Facebook post about the incident.
Yes, it is real life. And no, your jokes aren't funny, says the police.
"Also, we will mention the irony of the pig in a police car now so that anyone that thinks they're funny is actually unoriginal and trying too hard," the post reads.
The Holy Grail had some morning after regrets asub-parogized on Twitter (the preferred platform for such confessions) for some bad decisions.
As some of you may have heard our DJ (and friend) had a lapse in judgement and played an ill advised song last night. We are proud lifelong Cincinnatians and die hard Reds fans, and we believe The Grail is a true refelection of that.
What was the song? Was it racist? Offensive to women?
Nah, it was just the Cubs fight song.
But those are fighting words here in a town with a sub-par baseball team. If the local bar doesn't believe in the local team who will?
What will save the postal service?
Scratch and sniff stamps, that's what.
The US Postal Service announced on Monday that a new line of Forever stamps will be of the scratch and sniff variety.
The stamps will be decorated with icy treats and smell like "the sweet scent of summer."
Cut grass? Chlorine? Teens who don't use deodorant?
Either way, please use when sending me love letters/hate mail.