10 parents of LGBTQ persons came together for a closed door parents' support group workshop that aimed to share experiences and also chart out a future course of action.
Organized by Solaris Pictures, as part of its ongoing engagement with LGBT community and parents, for its upcoming feature film Evening Shadows directed by Sridhar Rangayan, the workshop was structured and moderated by social development consultants Alpana Dange and Pallav Patankar.
The main objective of the workshop was to develop strategies for a cohesive parents' support group that would help each other, help other parents who may need information or peer-to-peer counseling, and also to be a visible group in the media and society.
"There have been parents support meets and acceptance meets in the past, organized by Gay Bombay and Yaariyan, but the parents have mostly been sharing their experiences in public. This was the first time ever they got to spend an entire day with each other, sharing and discussing in a structured formal manner. It was not only a great learning experience, but also a very definitive move towards forming an Indian PFLAG kind of group, first in Mumbai and maybe later in other cities", said Sridhar Rangayan who has been wanting to make this happen for many years now, "Part of the funds we raised for the film Evening Shadows was kept aside to facilitate this meet," he added.
Attended by 10 parents – mothers Chitra Palekar, Padma Iyer, Sarojini Dash, Nargis Wadia, Aruna Desai, Mangala Aher, Bharati Divgikar, Vidya Phadnis, and fathers Pradeep Divgikar and Ramesh Kathale – the day-long workshop was an eye-opener about the challenges faced by parents in coming to terms with their children's gay, lesbian and transgender identities.
"This formal consultation is a start to many beginnings. My desire is to form an easily accessible group of parents who could assist other parents and children in the closet. Hopefully, one day, we will be able to build a shelter home for children who are forced to escape from their homes of birth. This would give all of us all a unique chance to become their foster parents," said Padma Iyer, mother of activist Harrish Iyer.
"I think it's an absolutely amazing initiative. We are simply hoping to create a network of families of LGBT individuals, so that we can work together and offer support to other such families and their children," said Aruna Desai, an HR professional and mother of a gay son.
Dr. Sarojini Dash, the oldest parent in the group and someone who has been a great support to both LGBTQ children and parents for many years now, felt the parent's meet was very useful for some parents whose children had recently come out and were anxious about their future. "They heard about those children who had done well in life, overcoming the stigmas and prejudices. Parent's group made them realize that their fears were mere shadows without much substance," said Dr.Dash who is also a psychiatrist.
Mangala Aher, mother of transgender activist Abheena Aher felt that there should be more support forthcoming for transgender children, especially in terms of healthcare and livelihood opportunities. She has been a founder of the transgender dance troupe Dancing Queens and regularly performs with her transgender daughter and other transgender dancers.
"The formation of an organized Parents Group is the need of the hour. A vibrant and supportive parent group can provide the required cutting edge to galvanize more parents to join in the battle for the cherished rights of their marginalized and discriminated children. More power to this unique initiative!" said Pradeep Divgikar, father of singer Sushant Divgikar, who was also Mr.Gay India in 2015.
Speaking at the event, Karim Ladak, from Toronto, one of the executive producers of Evening Shadows, having contributed a substantial financial stake in the film said, "So much has changed for the LGBTQ community in India in the past two decades and this initiative is absolutely fantastic. The film and this support group will be the flagbearers for the future, inspiring greater acceptance of LGBTQ persons in society".