Dharma Talk, June 9, 2014: Puff!!!
Download: http://www.riversidechan.org/lectures/Dharma_Talk_20140609.mp3
Good evening to you all. This is our regular Monday night class and hello to all those who are listening by the way of the Internet or reading transcript. I want to take this moment to thank all those who help in preparing these transcription recordings because it is really something that helps carry out the vows that we take before the beginning of the class, and we take [hopefully on a daily basis] that we're practitioners.
It is very helpful and I get comments from all over the country of people who are listening by way of the internet or reading the transcripts. Whenever I go to different chapters, people will comment. I even have one person, a truck driver, who downloaded it and was listening to it as he was driving. So this is something I really considered precious and I give deep gratitude to all, and to all of you who would come to the classes and participate because your questions are helping those who are listening. They don't have the ability to ask the question at that moment but you're standing in their place to do that.
We are going to continue on today with the Hua Tou. I want to keep working with the Hua Tou because oftentimes people are exposed to the Hua Tou with one lecture but there isn't quite that much emphasis on a Hua Tou and the more we talk about it and the more we look into it, the more that you're going to be clear about what this particular method is, and how you can use it in your everyday practice as well as in an intense retreat.
Again the Hua Tou is this idea of "before the word" – before a word comes up, what is that? Where is that? And we put our emphasis before the question - waiting for the question to arise. In this way, the mind for a moment is very silent. It's an interesting thing about Hua Tou though that later on, you will come to realize through your own practice that the Hua Tou - before the word - is also as the question is arising in the mind, because it's always there and we can't differentiate between "what is before the word" and the "word" because Shunyata or emptiness permeates all of it.
After a while as one is reciting the Huatou, there comes a point where there's no difference between waiting for the question to appear and the question itself. It kind of comes full-circle like my young wire-haired Fox Terriers who chases her tail around until she catches it. Then she goes, "You know, I've been chasing this tail around, and that's me!" And that's the end of that. So it's a very funny thing because that's what we are doing with the Huatou; we're kind of chasing the tail around – "What is wu? Who is dragging this corpse around? Who is reciting the Buddha's name; and all these who, who, who, and what."
And when we're asking the question, then we come full circle all the way around and we end up in the same place that we started at. The only difference is that we now know because we are able to see by coming full-circle that all of these are all connected, and we see it all as the Buddha-nature and the self-nature of mind so nothing is diminished. It does not increase or decrease; it doesn't go away; it just is clarified. This luminous mind is very important in terms of looking into the Huatou because by us able to hold off on the internal discussions for a while enables us to bring the entire carousel of the mind to a halt.
And in that moment when the carousel has stopped, there is an operation of transcendental wisdom that enables us to see the nature of the carousel. And by seeing things in this way, we see very clearly all aspects of it: why it's turning, why the horses go up-and-down, why the music is there, why everything is there. It's through the ceasing for a moment of allowing that to arise that enables us essentially to reboot afterwards [as if we're rebooting the computer]. But this time as we reboot, the virus that we have [which is this clinging to the self and the attachments of the self] is diminished and in some cases it's gone. It can be gone for quite a while until slowly it'll pour back in, but we've seen it before. We've seen the stoppage of the carousel for moment and realizing that in itself is not the ultimate goal. That's just our starting point where we now look and we know what we're doing. We know what we're doing with the meditation; we have some kind of a personal experience in which we have looked into mind and been able to see the self-nature of mind. Using that, then we begin to clarify more and more.
One should not really try to press to get to that stage - to try to get this clarification or stopping or the self-nature of mind. When we try to do that, what happens is we set up pre-conceived notions of where we should be, or what we should see, or what we should feel. When we do that, we mess everything up because then we're trying to fit something conceptually into something that pours way over any kind of a conception that one could possibly hold onto. It's just not in the same venue. Our venue of seeing things conceptually from thoughts is very limited, but the self-nature of mind is incredibly luminous and expansive. It's incredibly expansive, but there's no way one can even begin to create a conceived notion of that; it doesn't work that way.
But by virtue of practicing the Huatou, nevertheless one gains great benefit from the Huatou because moment-to-moment in your everyday life, it enables you to see thoughts arising. By the fact that one is beginning to clarify the mind by the use of the Huatou, it enables us to recognize when thoughts arise in mind. It gives us that 3-second delay [like on television] to be able to think about what we're going to be doing, and what we're going to be saying, and what we're thinking to be able to rectify what we're doing in that moment. Little by little, we need not engage in those thoughts because it'll happen naturally. It's a progressive practice which gives you benefits now.
Sometimes people start working on the Huatou or Silent Illumination and they want it now and they want the experience now. They want this; they want that; but by doing that, they push themselves further away from it rather than just practicing for the sake of practicing. If one practices for the sake practicing, it's very simple; it's a very simple practice. We don't practice with this expectation that we are going to derive anything from the practice; we just simply practice.
And little by little as you go, [you may not notice it] but the people around you may notice that your mind is becoming quieter because you're not fidgeting as much; you're not anxious or so quick with the tongue, or so quick with whatever impressions that you may have of a particular situation that arises in your [let's say] social environment. You are more careful and cautious, realizing that those thoughts come up, and those thoughts come up because you put them there and so you're more likely to work on seeing what is coming up.
Today before the class, I had one person that I had introduced to the Dharma and they said something very encouraging but very honest as well that since they started the practice, they had stopped drinking for a year. And yet they said, "But I still have this kind of idea or craving [that's there] for something. Caffeine won't do it; sugar won't do it." But they said they're looking for something to replace this kind of a craving that was stronger than before. It's natural that it's going to arise. Anybody who has ever dealt with anybody that has a substance abuse problem knows those things arise all the time. There's nobody that is [you could say] a fully recovered drug addict or fully recovered from alcohol because those notions are still there.
But they are easily suppressed later on as one moves away from them, by looking into mind, looking into it very clearly; "Who has this? Why do I have that?" And by looking at that and seeing the causes for those things, "Oh, that comes up because I did that before, and I had this, and physically and mentally and emotionally, these things come up;" and one sees it. This is the same way we are whether it's a substance abuse, or it's anger abuse, patience abuse, you name it; you put in your own of the things that you have in terms of weaknesses. They come up because you put them there.
As you begin to practice the Huatou, something very beautiful happens. The Huatou comes up because you put that there; you put that energy there to have that Huatou there. It is very similar to the Pureland practice from where this comes from. Remember back Ta Hui was looking at it and was saying from the Pureland practice, "Hmm, who is reciting the Buddha's name?" That's something very interesting and it got stuck on him. It got stuck on him to the point where he had to resolve the question.
It is very funny [as a happenstance] what happened on the weekend with my son. Ananda had a hard candy stuck on the back of his throat and he couldn't swallow it. (laughs…) But it was so sweet just like what I talked about the week before. But it's very funny and I had a laugh at it because it was something that he's there and if you could see him, he felt uncomfortable. And in a way, that's what the Huatou does. As you work a little bit further into it, that makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable, unsteady, unsure; this is what's called a "great doubt." The great doubt arises to make you say, "What is this?" And it's just that question that gets stuck in there because you're asking the question over and over again.
That's why it's so important that when you do the Huatou, you're not just simply reciting it, but you are asking the question very sincerely. So then later on when you wake up, the question is there. As you begin to practice in this way, your practice will evolve and that question will get bigger and bigger. And at some point it may envelop your entire consciousness, so that the consciousness is simply on this question. And when it does that, then it gives little room for spurious thoughts to arise or thoughts coming up from past thoughts. It kind of on its own crowds those other thoughts out.
But in the beginning you have to be the one to generate this energy to get the Huatou moving, but as it moves it is an incredibly powerful way of practice simply because as you understand it, you know what you're doing. You are giving it the energy to continue to repeat, to repeat, to repeat; so it will come up in mind. If all the time you're thinking of something, anything that you're thinking of; whether it's music, or art, or something that is negative or positive, then those things will come up in your mind most assuredly because you put them there.
Likewise when you're putting the Huatou there, the Huatou will come up. In this way you begin to create this kind of a funny doubt, a funny sensation about things and you can't really put your finger on it. But it's there and you begin to want to resolve it and go right back into the Huatou: What is wu? What is emptiness? Or who is reciting the Buddha's name? "I want to know what this is!!!" As you begin to practice in this way, it begins to help you because using the soft Huatou during the day, that enables you to calm yourself and see very clearly.
We all have times when thoughts come up in our mind that instantly create some kind of emotion, right? It's like normally in a work environment; it's like; "I've got to get this out!!!" [And you have that emotion of "I've got to get this out!!!"], or money wise, or relationship wise, or whatever. It could be something that might seem as pleasurable, or something that isn't pleasurable, and creating anxiety in you. When you're using the Huatou, you are able to even perceive these changes in emotions because emotion is also a thought; maybe not a verbal thought but it is a sense impression in consciousness.
Sense impression in consciousness, we tend to turn away from it and think that's "us" feeling that rather than looking at it and saying "it was not there a moment ago." We don't recognize it as being something separate from us; we think it's "us; "Oh, my worries; my worries; my worries." You're always worrying, worrying, worrying; and you don't know from where all these worries are coming from. You are putting them in there! It doesn't mean that you go around [you know] and not think about the problems in your life. But there's a time when you think about the problems and the time when you put them down. This is Chan - everything is in this way.
Shifu, he used to say that if you have a problem, first thing is to recognize the problem; see it very clearly, see the possibilities of a resolution of the problem, and then put it down. You don't carry it around with you. We're very, very good at carrying around our problems. But with the Huatou, we're less likely to have these problems stick to us because we can recognize even the subtlest of sensations and the changing in the mind [where the mental impressions come in]. Not only are we able to see these mental impressions come into mind, we can sense the physiological changes that they cause within is. So if anybody who's had anxiety, or fear, know instantly those impressions come up.
It's very funny because we always think of fear as such a bad thing but yet, a lot of people like to see scary movies. And you say if its' negative, why is it this way? It is causes and condition; it's in the context of how it's arising. But if we understand how these things come up in the mind, then that is Chan. That enables us to be able to have a decision about whether we want to keep those thoughts in the mind, or just let them go. So that's very important.
And going back to the idea of like being unsure of it and the sense that there's something there that's unresolved [this doubt], that doubt is important. It is not a doubt of the doubt in the practice. It is the doubt that just maybe this whole world is not really the way we see it, and that there might be a different way of looking at it. But we know that; we just don't know yet so there is a doubt there like we want to try to crack out but we can't get out through the regular way. We have to continue with the practice and let everything go in order to do that; let go of our impressions of where we're going, let go of our expectations of what might come. We just simply continue to practice and have faith in that method - that that method is going to take us there and that method is going to resolve this issue.
As we begin the practice this way, it changes things. It literally changes us for the better because then we see things just as they are and we're already getting there. We're already getting there because we're beginning to see things in a clarified way - the idea of Paticca-samuppada that causes and conditions never fail. When we're applying Paticca-samuppada to our everyday life, what are we applying? Anybody know?
Students: Right View; wisdom.
Gilbert: This is not just regular wisdom, this is Maha-prajnaparamita wisdom. This right view and this wisdom Paticca-samuppada, is not other than the Buddha-nature. As we begin to look at things in this way and we see things that they do not happen by happenstance but they happen precisely in the way that they arise, then we see clearly. This is Buddha-nature; we're getting in touch with the Buddha-nature. We're getting it there and we're clear about what's happening.
In the beginning that's not completely clear; it's not quite clear. I use the example of the Coca-Cola and Sprite and the effervescent bubbles coming up. But it's more somewhere like Mountain Dew [kind of in-between the two]. It nevertheless is starting to clear up a little bit and we're able to see from where the bubbles are coming from; not completely but we're getting there. And as long as we travel on that path, then we're getting in touch with the Buddha-nature - our self-nature of mind [which is] not different than the mind that you're using right now. That's the big key; it's not different. The attachments, and mental impressions, and our vexations, they're not separate from the Buddha-nature. They are precisely happening and we see the things in this way.
We change the viewpoint from where we're looking. We're no longer looking out from our skull and thinking that all of these images are coming in from the eyes and that the eyes are seeing. Instead, we see things exactly as they are; that all this is occurring within mind. It does not negate the existence of the things that we see, things we feel, but it doesn't confirm them either. It just is; it is just this thusness of the way things are and this wonderful [what we call] Tathagatta. The Tathagatta is just simply the Buddha-mind. And as we begin to reverse the course and how we view things, then our mind begins to become clear.
Whether you're talking about the Theravada, or Mahayana, or the Tibetan practice, they all have some kind of words equating to a Luminous Mind. This incredible luminous mind is just simply this clear transcendental wisdom applying moment-to-moment-to-moment to everything that comes across our environment or our mind-field, and that we see it not as something separate but wonderfully coursing through mind; this wondrous function of mind [as it works]. The hope there is that however we guide that mind, we know that it's going to produce fruit. This fruit can be something that can harm our practice, and harm our environment, harm the people around us. But looking at it as a more positive way, as one begins to turn their mind's eye inwards, we see it as something incredibly positive, incredibly wondrous, and something that is limitless. And it gives us the inspiration to be able to continue our practice.
So either these small kinds of realizations, small exposures via principle [not from practice but via principle], help you set the stage for your practice and you have a better chance of making progress with your method if you understand the basic ideas of how mind works. As one accepts how mind works, that is the Buddha-mind; we see it and all that's left for us is the wondrous function of it. Nothing disappears, only what disappears is the ignorance of the mind and the attachment to self; this nescience entrenchment [as mentioned in the Queen Shrimala Lion's Roar Sutra], is little by little dissipated so that we're able to function in a good way without bearing down and bringing suffering to others and bringing suffering to ourselves. We see things much clearer.
All of these are coming out of the Huatou as we begin to practice. That's why it's not just simply an exercise. If it wasn't in this way, I would just say "Well, you know you should pat your head and rub your stomach and do that for seven days and you will become enlightened." But it doesn't work the same way because this is a method in which one can bring about the clarity of the mind and as we bring it about. It will work; it's just that one has to put the effort into it, but don't think that you need to get it today. Be patient with it; give it time; give it its due time and its due attention.
And the more you practice in this way, the more it will help you to understand what the Huatou is doing. I think that's probably the most important thing, to understand what the Huatou is doing. If I just simply tell you like in one class; just recite this, recite this, and then tell you have a great determination, great doubt, great faith, that's not enough because I would just leave you there to flounder on your cushion. That's why I'm taking the time just to discuss this in greater detail to give you the idea what the Huatou is doing in the mind. It is simply there and you're reciting it and bringing the mind to a rest because it cannot think of two things at the same time.
It's kind of like binaries constantly switching – zeroes and ones, zeroes and ones but it can't hold the zero and one in consciousness. Mind can but consciousness can't in that way when ones self is attaching to it. It's as if you have these two bottles in front of you with one hand; "I've got to pick up this one and put this one down to pick up this one." This is the way the mind works with just simply consciousness in attaching. But when one just sees the bottles there and says, "Who is picking them up," then the issue is resolved; the problem and the puzzle all comes to a halt because we realize that we're looking at it from a different viewpoint - this viewpoint of this wisdom. Any questions so far, yes?
Student: Earlier you said that thoughts are arising in mind because we put them there. My question is who puts them there? Who is the "you" that puts them there? Is it causes and conditions? Who is the "you?"
Gilbert: Who indeed? That's… You're on the right path; you're on the right path. Keep asking those questions. Doesn't it bug the heck out of you? "Who" is doing that? This is the best answer I can give you; keep following that and say, "What is this? Who is this?" And if there is no "me," then how can there be that? You've already gotten the sight of the tail. Now you're seeing the tail and you're going "Well, how can there be a "who" asking the mind this question if what I'm chasing is my tail?"
So you should look in this way and it should bug you. It does? Yeah, it should bug you; "Who" is doing this?" In this way, what happens is that you get this kind of unsettling feeling because the self wants to come and say "Oh silly, what are you saying; you're doing it!" Who said that? "I" said that! But then you go "Wait a second, that doesn't fly anymore. I just saw you pop up; you weren't there a moment ago." So you begin to create a doubt there about this and that's what the Huatou does. All of a sudden you're there going "Who indeed?" Whatever it is, it's beginning to generate this doubt. Right now it's a little doubt but it will generate into a greater doubt as you go along. The more you listen to Dharma talks, the more you practice, the more there'll be an unsettling there like you want to get it resolved. That is the way that it works.
I'm going to tell you a story. Many of you have heard this story before; I know two or maybe four of you have. It will help you to understand how it works. I once went to a retreat and fell into an accidental Huatou. Master Sheng Yen was talking about this one master who had his attendant. This attendant served him faithfully for many, many years. Finally the attendant came to the master, he said; "Shifu, I've attended you for many years, I brought you your food, I've laundered and mended your clothes, I received guest for you, and I've taken cared of you."
And the master said, "Yes?"
He then continued; "But all these years I've been helping you, you have not taught me one shred of Dharma."
The master said, "And?"
"I was hoping you could teach me some Dharma."
So the master said "You want some Dharma, even a little shred of Dharma?"
So he pulled up a loose thread from his robe and until finally holding it in his thumb and forefinger in front of his face so the monk could see it. And then he blew it, "Puff!!!" And in that moment the monk became enlightened - he saw his self-nature. I went, "That's a great story but why did that happen? Why was it that just blowing a string at him, he could see his self-nature? That doesn't make any sense to me. I could go up to many people with a string and blow it on their faces and they would not get enlightened." So it's stuck to my head like I could not get rid of that feeling – why? And it was very, very strong - why, why, why?
After a while it really enveloped me, so after I would sit from meditating, I would be frustrated; why? why? I was irritated, but not in a bad way; just unsettled and looking at it and going "There's got to be a reason why this happened. There's got to be something; why did that happen?" And I would think about it all the time and I just fell into it. I'll be walking from the Chan Hall back to the dorm; "why, why, why, why, why?"
Getting ready for bed, brushing my teeth; "why, why, why, why, why, why?"
Lying in bed; "why, why, why?" Waking up; "why, why, why?" And it got to the point where everything else was not important anymore. All that was there was this question; this incredible question. I could not separate myself from the question to the point where I would go to eat and I would just look at the food; but looking at the food had no meaning to me; only the question was what I wanted to eat.
I remember one time where I was sitting there looking at my food going "why, why, why?" and I said this has to be resolved. Maybe I can look at it from a different way. I could not think about how to resolve it until I said "I've got to see it. I've got to see the master and see what he was doing; maybe there was something in that."
So I saw the master and he was loosening up the thread and pulling it out of his robe. I could see it dangling in front of him, and him just smiling and looking at the thread. So I looked closer and closer to see what the master was doing. I could see him very clearly until the master blew, "Puff!!!" And in that moment, I felt the breath hit my face, and at that time I had hair and it went up. I thought that to be very odd so I just kind of like laughed, "Ha-ha!" like there's no way possible that that could happen. And then everything around just collapsed like somebody would collapse a stage after a play. It all just went dark and it just popped right back up [I don't know how long later] as if like a computer rebooting and everything was there.
But it was a very strange sensation. I saw it collapse; I saw it like dissolve. Let's say it was a very tiny type of an experience. I don't mean to make it something very big. But it was from this working on this, what I would call Huatou – why… that it came about. And you get to a point where you get this insatiable itch that the more you scratch it, the itchier it gets. It's still something that you're looking into and you want to resolve it; that is the Huatou. When you get deeper into it, the Huatou becomes such a strong thing; you have a need to resolve it and it will not let your rest. No matter if you want to try to get out of it, you won't.
It's kind of like in the old cartoons where they're fighting and you see a big ball of dust cloud with fists and feet coming out and you hear a bunch of grumbling. Someone wants to get out and then got out, but all of a sudden, somebody's arm comes out of the cloud of the mayhem that's happening and the hand pulls him back in. And that's the way it is; it pulls you right back into it. You want to try to get out and call timeout but wherever you go to try to call timeout, it just brings you back in. That is the Huatou when it really working well.
So if you work this way, that doubt that you have [that you're saying]; "it can't be, then who is this?" That's how it works; you're kind of beginning to create that little beginning of this doubt. When I say beginning, it's not so small; it reflects the effort that you put into it. That's what the Huatou does - what you put in is what you get out. If you put in a weak Huatou, you get a weak response. Still not bad; but the more you put into it, the stronger it will be. Any other questions?
Student: Working with the "who" with the Huatou, I find that the "who" kind of resolves into who, what, when, where, why, life, death; it just expands into all different kinds of directions of unanswerable question.
Gilbert: Yes, but that's the self messing with you because what happens is that it wants to resolve it in a conceptual way, saying "Ah, well it's unanswerable" you know; it's like "who created God" type of a question. Then you say that it's resolved because it's unanswerable. You've got to push through that. Keep the doubt but throw the rest of the junk out and you get back into it, because that's "you" trying to call timeout or saying "Tada! I got it," but it's not there yet.
So drop that off but keep the doubt and keep the practice. Remember don't abandon the method; let the method abandon you. There will be a point in the practice of the Huatou that the method will abandon you because it is so difficult to try to bring it up or to try to recall what you're doing. There's no way because in that moment, the mind becomes very thick in terms of that because the sense of self is so far gone that the idea of consciousnesses is not the way you think it is. Just stay with it and work it.
I'm glad you asked that question because it's like sometimes the mind can be very very clever with these kinds of subtle changes in there. And you just have to say "The method is very easy. It's whatever your Huatou is. Anything else is discussion."
Dharma Talk, June 2, 2014: Huatou, Continued.