Why Do You Still Miss Your Ex?
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by Holly Ashworth
Is your ex still on your mind, weeks or months after everyone told you that you should have gotten over it already? Here's everything you need to know about how to get over someone for good (or at least snap out of it already).
7 Tips for Getting Over a Breakup
Peter Dazeley/Photographer's Choice/Getty Images
If your ex just broke up with you, it's going to hurt for a while no matter what you do. But there are certain things you can do that'll make you feel even worse, like checking your ex's Facebook page over and over again or sitting at home by yourself and wallowing in your pain. Instead, follow these steps for getting over a breakup. They won't make the sadness disappear, but they'll put you on the right track.
You've Done All That and Your Ex Is Still on Your Mind
There isn't a set amount of time that it takes to get over someone. Just keep up with those 7 steps and try to keep busy with things that make you happy. You might have very painful moments—like if you find out your ex is dating someone new, or if your attempt to flirt with someone else doesn't end well—but overall, the pain should lift gradually.
If months have passed and you're still so hurt that it's affecting your routine, you might be suffering from more than just a broken heart. Open up to your parents or a counselor about what you've been feeling. You might be depressed and require treatment from a professional.
How Can You Stay Friends With Your Ex and Still Get Over Your Breakup?
To be honest, you can't. It's almost impossible to get over someone when you have to hang out with them and pretend like your feelings have disappeared.
Your ex might not understand all of that. He or she just wants things to return to normal, but that's not possible if you're still heartbroken. Explain to your ex that you need some time to yourself, and avoid seeing him or her as well as you can. (If you have to see your ex at school, keep your encounters short and sweet.) A couple of months down the road, if you feel like you're over the breakup, you can take another shot at friendship.
You're Dating Someone New but Your Ex Is Still on Your Mind
If you're still heartbroken over your ex, then you shouldn't be dating someone new. It's just not fair to your new sweetie, and it won't help you get over your ex any more quickly. Do the right thing and break up with your current boyfriend or girlfriend. They deserve to be with someone who treats them like they're #1, not #2.
That said, you're probably going to carry around warm feelings about some of your exes forever. That's not the same as being heartbroken—it just means that you have some nice memories. If that's all that's going on, you're certainly allowed to date someone else. But do your partner a favor and don't talk about how great your ex was.
Will You Ever Really Get Over Your Ex?
That depends on how you define "get over." You'll probably never truly forget about your ex because you made so many memories together, both good and bad.
But your goal isn't to completely forget about your ex. Your goal is to get to a place where you're not constantly reminded about your ex, and when you do think about them, it doesn't hurt. You'll get there... Just be patient and keep following those steps.
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