country is a hideous thing.
most sober, who doesn't regularly and solemnly buy lottery tickets.
what they liked without protest,--really, the disabilities of guests!
birth in the Prussian chains, shall not be betrayed by me who love him.
here spend their lives being.
choke in its own blood."
Then Frau Berg capped that with sentiments even more bloodthirsty.
his heels to every electric-light standard along the Lindens.
Kaiser, of our Fatherland, and of our God."
"Amen," said Frau Berg, very loud.
them wagging their tails. He was the master, come among the slaves.
But to think that even Doctor Krummlaut should sidle!
shall get deaf, and not be able to play.
certain that war is now assured."
"But nobody has done anything to you," I said.
on up the stairs smiling and shaking his own.
complacently for granted that I'm stupid.
will be one of that marching column on the Charlottenburger Chaussee.
Berlin, Sat., Aug. 1st, 1914.
arm, and the young ladies would keep very close behind him.
fly-sticks is black with flies, that I don't know what it was really.
all blistering and streaming in the sun.
up to time, of careful preparation.
satisfaction more particularly to me.
uns. Wollen sie blau und schwartz dreschen_."
transplanting the young man's remarks.
would have been knocked down if there had been room to fall in.
the Herr Leutnant to forgive the boy on account of his extreme youth.
Kaiser, come out on the balcony of the palace.
There was an immense instantaneous hush, uncanny after all the noise.
honour, let alone the pain in his shins, called for.
remember how cross he looked, hardly returning the salutations he got?
has pulled it off, the "Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us"
hadn't been so tightly packed together they would all have knelt down.
Braut_," and Tannhauser's dying "_Heilige Elisabeth, bitte fur mich_."
dislike for that Tannhauser opera.
Little Ones, God again--lots of God.
them at the end with uplifted hand,--"go to your homes, and pray."
have done nothing to them, what are they going to get individually?
ruined businesses, and nobody can give them back their dead sons.
kicked into anybody, but I believe with Prussians it's the only way.
They understand kicks. They respect brute strength exercised brutally.
today with His gentle, "Little children, love one another."
_Berlin, Sunday, August 2nd, 1914_.
and instructive and fearless comment from him; and instead he was dumb.
me altogether and bade me go on playing.
Then I asked him if he were ill, and he said, "No, why should I be ill?"
"Because you're different,--you don't talk," I said.
And he said, "It is only women who always talk."
So then I got on with my playing, and just wondered in silence.
"Because the Master's different," I said. "He won't talk."
and one cannot be as usual."
pouring out streams of all the things that most need saying--"
was dumb. I can't get over it.
nourishing the necessary emotions in the people at a time like this.
says, "Let there be God"; and there is God.
Bernd, and he went away, swept off by his Colonel, directly afterwards.
get here early, but he hasn't come yet and it's nearly half past seven.
out of his gravity into a weird, uncanny chuckling.
cavalry was already in France at several points.
smiled, "when we Germans make war we do not wait till the next day.
drink to your charming eyes."
There's dinner. I must leave off.
Germans, have each had an order and an advancement of some sort.
when I was having my lesson. _Kloster_. Of all men. I feel sick.
started talking about Kloster's audience with Majestat this afternoon.
exclaimed, exactly as one calls out quickly if one is suddenly struck.
Kloster's on the side of the Hohenzollerns.
attend at the palace and be decorated in his pocket.
I sat staring straight before me. Kloster bought? Kloster for sale?
And the Government at such a crisis finding time to bother about him?
into his eyes, "_ja, ja_, we think of everything here."
like, I expect, Tolstoi and the Russian court.
The Grafin looked at me quickly.
"And so has Majestat been in his," I continued.
child, more than Majestat, with his ever ready appreciation of genius."
intolerable thought away from me and cry out, "No, it _can't_ be."
little mother, I was cold with fear.
_Wirkliche Geheimrath mit dem Pradikat Excellenz_. God rest his soul.
_Berlin, Monday, August 3rd, 1914_.
he goes I'm coming back to you.
_Berlin, Monday August 3rd, evening_.
in Berlin, and the day he leaves I start for Switzerland.
most dreadful insult even to suggest there _could_ be bad news.
the tiny scraps of moments Bernd can come to me, fills me with horror.
_Berlin, Tuesday, August 4th, 1914_.
to see him, it was so cruel to find out by accident that he had been!
the front door as she came in.
impulse to run after him and try and catch him in the street.
"Helena thought you had gone out," said the Grafin.
"But you _knew_ I hadn't," I said, turning on Helena.
cast doubts on her word. We Germans do not lie."
"You have spoilt my husband's lunch," said the Grafin sternly.
see it because I was blinded by tears.
still more offended at being asked.
_At Frau Berg's, August 4th, 1914, very late_.
comes for me, and I shall be with him always.
seen him tonight saying good-bye to me, and stopped by the Colonel!
I shall remember it, and it will save me.
the Grafin's maid came after me and said would I go to her mistress.
that she must ask me to leave her house at once, that very evening.
political reasons why I shouldn't stay even as long as till tomorrow.
for me there is of shame for him.
whining phrases with which you conceal your gluttonous opportunism--"
And so she continued, while I stood silent.
are yelling now for England's blood.
and took me into the drawingroom.
"Not in here, not in here!" cried the Grafin, getting up excitedly.
me. "You know, Chris," he said, "about England?"
as of a multitude of wild beasts who have been wounded.
you're noticed, before there's been time to make your going difficult."
go out, and don't come back. I'll settle with Frau Berg afterwards.
intelligence. Have you money enough?"
wasted; but he opened my violin-case and put a lot of banknotes into it.
and looking into my eyes.
seeing him. What couldn't I and wouldn't I be and do for Bernd?
And then the Colonel walked in.
attention,--the perfect automaton, except that I was hanging on his arm.
"_Zur Befehl_, Herr Oberst," he said.
Bernd gently put my hand off, and I put it back again.
not see Bernd for a long while after tonight."
"No German officer marries an alien enemy," snapped out the Colonel.
"Remove the woman's hand, Herr Leutnant."
then?" I said, looking up at him and clinging to him.
turn his head and look at me. "Remember--" he breathed.
"I forbid all talking, Herr Leutnant," snapped the Colonel.
my Bernd, my own beloved?"
"Remember courage--patience--" he murmured quickly, under his breath.
Herr Leutnant. _Kreutzhimmeldonnerwetter nochmal_. Instantly."
looked at me. I shall not forget that look.
me," he said. "On the instant. March."
And Bernd went out as if on parade.
pity don't go well together here.
in the lives of two poor human beings was so unkind.
God bless and keep you, my mother,--my dear sweet mother.
_Halle, Wednesday night, August 5th, 1914_.
be held up lots of times, I'm sure.
and draughty in this station by comparison, and I wish I had my coat.
being old helps one in Germany.
after many wanderings, and batterings, to the feet of God.
It's a good thing being too tired to think.
_Wursburg, Thursday, August 6th, 1914, 4 p. m_.
I've only got as far as this. I was held up this time, not the train.
me a little longer from you.
demanded to see my papers.
"_Krieg ist Krieg. Mund halten_."
and you, my blessed, blessed little mother, calling me to breakfast.
But it was too hot and distinct and horribly consistent to be a dream.
will get to you long before I do, because I may be kept at Stuttgart.
was really polite and really saw that I wasn't further inconvenienced.
Dear Bernd! Even just his name saves me.
great deal of iced milk. My fiddle-case was the pillow. Poor fiddle.
It seems such a useless, futile thing now.
found earlier in this book into Lilypond format.
Search for "G minor Bach".