Home / Islamic Thought / #MothersDay – an innovation or Islamic obligation?
Only a fellow parent can understand the sheer exhaustion caused by sleep deprivation. A pattern emerges in the first few days: Feed; baby cries; sleep; baby cries; feed; baby cries; parents cry; alarm. Time for work.
Obsessing about feeds, changing nappies, teething, falls – the list is endless. Parents do all this without a second thought; the ultimate expression of unconditional love. Parents do all this, and yet some think that they were born adults. That no one changed their nappy, or fed them when they cried in hunger, or picked them up when they fell. Each of our parents did so much for us, without whom we would not, after Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā), be here today.
Celebrating motherhood can be traced back to the ancient Greeks and Romans who held festivals in honour of the mother 'goddesses' Rhea and Cybele. However, the clearest modern precursor to Mother's Day is the early Christian festival known as 'Mothering Sunday' which falls on the fourth Sunday of Lent. Having said that, some Christians will be at pains to differentiate between 'Mothering Sunday' and 'Mother's Day'. The latter in America is the second Sunday in May, as proclaimed by President Wilson in 1914 after a determined campaign by Anna Jarvis. In memory of her late mother and annoyance that most American holidays were for honouring male achievements, Anna Jarvis had a simple laudable aim: for children to write their mother a little note expressing their appreciation.
The tide of consumerism was too strong even for this devoted and determined woman. Around 20 billion dollars will be spent on Mother's Day in the USA alone. In the UK a 'mere' £400 million, on average, is spent.
Let us step back for a moment and ask our mothers what they really want? We may be surprised to hear that they would rather go for a walk with us in the park and look at pretty flowers than receive a sterile, mass-produced bouquet prepared by a stranger. Instead of a box of chocolates, our mothers may prefer us to prepare them a meal, switch the phone off and give them our undivided attention. This is not to say we should not buy our parents presents.
Our mothers do not want to us to express our love with material goods but rather to give them what is far more precious: our time and attention. Devoting ourselves to our parents takes greater importance when set against the backdrop of an ageing population. The demands of modern life are immense. Some Muslims may consider that the answer to caring for an ageing Muslim population is to create more Muslim-friendly care homes or, indeed, to build Muslim-dedicated care homes.
"May his nose be rubbed in the dust, may his nose be rubbed in the dust, may his nose be rubbed in the dust." It was asked: "Who, O Messenger of Allāh?" He (sall Allāhu ʿalayhi wa sallam) said: "The one whose parents, one or both of them, reach old age during his lifetime and he does not enter Paradise (by serving them)".
The vast majority of Muslims in the west are from Muslim ancestry. Our parents and grandparents are Muslim. Praise Allāh (subḥānahu wa taʿālā) for that. We should have compassion for our revert brothers and sisters whose parents have not accepted the Dīn of Islām (yet). Such a burden it must be for them to know the truth of Islām, aware of the final abode of the disbelievers and seeing their dear mothers and fathers not embracing this faith. May Allāh soften the hearts of the parents of our revert brothers and sisters to Islām, and enter them all into al-Jannah.
Service and kindness to our parents should not only be taken in a material sense. Rather, what is more important to you? To provide them comfort in this life for x number of years, or comfort in the next which will never end? Our elderly parents are ostensibly closest to death, yet how many organisations exist to cater for their Islamic education? There are Family Fun days, retreats, conferences, and numerous youth activities but when was the last time there was an event catering for the elderly Muslims?
Everyday is Mothers' day for a Muslim. It is an Islamic obligation to celebrate our mothers but certainly not in the manner in which we are programmed to do so by glossy adverts or singling out "Mother's Day". Rather, we should honour our mothers in our own way by service, kindness and affection to our parents, not just today but every day and at every opportunity. Do not wait until 'later' but go and give your mum a hug now and tell her how much you love her. One day, sooner than you think, you will not be able to. And if that day has already come, make du'ā for her, give sadaqah for her and keep good ties with her family and friends.
As we serve and make du'ā for our own mothers, we spare a thought for the countless bereaved mothers such as that of Treyvon Martin, the innocent, young black teenager shot dead whilst walking home after buying skittles for his friend. We say: black lives matter. We also recall the elderly, hungry, cold and displaced women of Syria and elsewhere and say: you are also our mothers.
Previous: Which is the "Correct" Rebel Group in Syria?
Imitation of "the kuffar" is also to use the English language. Why do you do that? Imitation of the kuffar is also to drive your car. Why do you do it? On short, there are many imitations of the kuffar, you usually do. Don't imitate us, and everyone among us and you will be happy with that. Can you do that?