Why is my ex who broke up with me angry and upset I moved on?
relationship_advice Original (deleted)
Posts by kingswood71
2019-12-26 13:31:12 Am I crazy ??
2020-01-08 18:14:35 Why is my ex who broke up with me angry and upset I moved on?
2020-01-14 12:47:56 Waiting for an ex
kingswood71 1032 2020-01-08 10:14:35
My ex gf broke up with me, and when chatting through the week asked if I had met anyone. I didn't go into detail with her but answered honestly as said well yes I am talking to someone new but nothing more than that. She was quite upset, and said that whilst she broke up with me, she doesn't want anyone else to be with me? She later said she would deal with it, and just wants me to be happy?? I'm so confused by this, as she was the one who broke up with me and specifically told me to move on with my life? And that's exactly what I've been doing! I really don't understand. For some strange reason I feel bad for talking to someone new!!
maceocat 1965 5m
She was hoping you would be sad and mopey without her and try to get her back,the fact that you have moved on to talking to someone else stings her ego
kingswood71 620 6m
Spot on I reckon. And I was sad in the beginning. But just got on with it and met someone by complete chance
therealbikehigh 355 4h55m
What she wants is to know that she has sexual power over you, that she could have you if she wanted you.
I gotta ask though, why are you still in contact with her? If you're in the process of starting something with a new woman, this ex still being in your life serves as a distraction you don't need, and that a new partner is not likely to appreciate at all. There is no reason for this woman to be in contact with you other than to sabotage any new relationship you might be developing.
DeadGuysWife 133 6h23m
Agreed, OP ditch the ex yesterday if you actually want something serious with this new girl. No contact, give yourself time to heal and move on.
schmadimax 19 7h37m
But OP has already moved on, as written in the post..
ReasoningButToErr 42 8h57m
It's pretty hard to truly move on if you are in contact soon after the break up and she is being manipulative as well.
Edit: sorry if you are being sarcastic. It's hard to know for sure.
skit_scoot 19 10h1m
Can confirm. My bf's ex told him he wasn't right for the direction she wanted to take her life in (literally the day before he was about to move to her state and live together). He dumped her and they stayed in contact while we were seeing eachother. As predicted she kept trying to get him to change his mind, and when he didn't she started calling him a "monster" and that all the hardships through their relationship were his fault.
I get that it's hard to cut somebody off like that, especially after being intimate for so long. But sometimes you really just have to turn your back on it and move forward with your life. Not every ex is going to be your friend, and more often than not that's what leads to all of those off and on again relationships.
sanzerchan33 1 11h46m
You shouldn't do this. Anyone who brings someone from another or you leave a state to be with someone you expected them to want to be together for ever both sides. It's a commitment itself.
schmadimax 5 9h23m
No no I did actually mean it how I wrote it, I just don't really know anything about that as I've never been in a relationship before.
Oh and don't worry if I want to sound sarcastic I'll make it as obvious as most humanly possible. :)
chwwhi31 0 12h13m
Playa gotta play.
SamsAdvice 79 7h3m
She wants to know she can get you back. Keep you as a back up. Keep you as a friend. What if she dates a new guy, and it doesn't go great? She wants to know she can come back to you and you'll be so happy to have her back. She wants to know she can make mistakes and not worry she has to regret it. She wants to know she has a safety net.
Stop talking to her. She broke up with you. Unless you want to date her again. She was asking if you are seeing anyone new also because she was still interested in you. She clearly is. She doesn't really care if you are happy, she is just saying that because jealousy/envy/regret/bitterness all don't look good.
Do you want to date your ex again or not? If she wants to see you, invite her over. She broke up with you, you don't need to be doing any effort. She should be to get you back.
"Hey its nice hearing from you Karen? I'm kind of busy at the moment, how you about you come over and we can talk. When are you free?" If she says yes, and gives you a date, talk in person, maybe the sparks will fly again. If she says no, then just cut off contact "Oh okay, if you change your mind then just let me know. Take care." You have NO REASON to chit chat with your ex. You aren't buddies.
whyfruitflies 9 7h49m
djblackprince 6 10h52m
Sam has got this so right. I recently went through a similar situation as the OP and my ex's behavior is just like stated above. Multiple times she broke up with me to try a new guy and then came running back to her comfort (me) when things predictably didn't work. For a long time I was stupid to take her back but no more. Face the pain of losing her forever and lose her forever OP.
countdookee 6 9h18m
I think you and your ex need to stop talking. She's playing games and will probably mess with any new relationship you have.
vwatsup 4 9h38m
I think maybe for her the grass want greener and now she is upset, you found someone before she did
saltoverflow 3 11h7m
Yeah she thought she was better than you and probably lacked respect for you.
She's now realised your worth something to other women and her relative valuation of you has increased. This hurts as she threw you away when she thought you were worthless.
I expect it feels a bit like selling your stock off cheap just before it skyrockets.
PNWestGuy 3 11h29m
Congrats on meeting someone so soon. As much as I believe in needing time to move on. I really think the right people can make you forget everything immediately.
yves_san_lorenzo 40 7h1m
In my culture we have a word for people like her: pendeja
quesox0 7 9h32m
A huevo
greenthumbgary 6 10h11m
Alas, I can only give but one upvote
Adapdapbrrrdap 3 8h14m
Or maybe she broke up with him because of some kind of deal breaker but still loves him (I've broken up with someone because I couldn't accept nor change some of her views about some things and it sucked because otherwise she was great but I got to a point where I knew it wouldn't work out).
PeteMichaud 3 11h32m
It's possible, but I think this is too cynical.
One ELI5-ish way to think of people is that even though they are one body walking around in a basically coherent state (most of the time), they actually have a bunch of little "people" inside their minds that don't always agree.
You know the bridge is safe, but still feel physically afraid while you're looking down. You know asking the cute person out is no big deal in the long run, but you're still frozen in fear. You know you're not compatible with your recent ex, which is why you broke up, but you still feel jealous when you think of them with someone else.
This is all very normal and human, and doesn't require anyone to be manipulative, shitty, or self-absorbed.
buzzlan12 2 7h9m
just because she broke up with him doesn't mean she stopped caring about him completely. her being hurt because her ex is moving on quickly isn't equal to her wanting him to beg for her back.
soulfulboss 11 10h12m
no it's just manipulative.....
buzzlan12 2 12h13m
no, it's called having feelings...
xraseri 300 3m
The biggest mistake you made is keeping in contact with an ex. I wouldn't advise you do that. Move on and have other people in your life. That's just my opinion.
kingswood71 91 5m
Thanks, and yes I think it's best not too
rxr0207 20 6h35m
I agree with that, my ex was the same way got really upset when I moved on even though he was talking to several girls and fucked around. It's just an ego boost. Block her and don't let her ruin your new relationship.
SamsAdvice 9 7h6m
Some ex's will try to keep you around as a "friend". Its not genuine. Don't agree to be friends just to keep them around. So they break up with you, then ask you to be friends, just tell them "I'm not interested in being friends, but I wish you the best. Take care. " A mature person respects that, and walks away.
ThrowRA_Alcohol 10 8h42m
This isn't true at all. I still talk to my ex girlfriend from when I was 14. We're now both 27. It's nice to catch up with people from your past that you once connected with and see how they're doing.
Having this sort of immature mentality really shuts some potentially good doors for you dude. If they are toxic and hurt you - sure, throw em away. But not all relationships end badly, sometimes they just end.
TheOriginalDoober 3 10h46m
Yep. I'm still on speaking terms with the majority of my exes and there has been no negative impact on my life from doing so.
alpha_keeny_wun 0 11h41m
I don't date people who are close friends with their ex. Different strokes
Is there a reason or is it just a rule?
AlessiaRS18 1 12h14m
I agree, it's never black or white, there's some great friendships that are also ex's but there's some ex's that are just toxic or not good to keep as friends.
proximete 9 9h54m
lmao this isn't true at all, there are plenty of friendships born out of relationships that just didnt work. your experience is not reality.
FaceWithAName 13 4h1m
Not every relationship ends horrendously and some people are great friends with an ex and have no issues. Relax.
lysergamidelion 56 4h35m
This girl obviously isnt ok with being just friends.
JadelynKaia 4 4h37m
This particular one, yes - but it doesn't automatically follow that it's always a bad idea to stay in touch with an ex in general.
YesThisIsSam 8 6h7m
Even still, you can still be friendly with your ex without being friends with them. If you want to move on with your life, you're really just not going to do that while feeling obligated to maintain ongoing communication with your ex. You don't have to hate them, but you aren't obligated to keep a weekly coffee date with them either.
Especially when you try to get back out there again and have to explain to your new interest why you're still constantly talking to your ex, not a good look.
Generally, the best advice is to stop talking to your ex. Of course there are exceptions, but there are to any advice, that doesn't make it bad advice.
KitKatBarrios 1 8h29m
Yeah I agree. And this is coming from someone who is still best friends with one of my exes. We happen to be an exception, but none of my other exes were and I don't talk to them anymore.
flying_head 6 6h33m
Does this person sound like someone you want to be friends with though? I would say no.
gjallard 272 1h42m
It is a somewhat common event. You are experiencing the "I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him either" syndrome.
When someone unilaterally ends a relationship, there can be many reasons why they chose to do so. But regardless of the reason, there can be a lingering attachment and a sense of having shared something special.
Someone in that position can send some very confusing mixed messages to the person who just got dumped. "We're not together, go away, but not too far."
The dumped person developing a new relationship threatens all of that.
The resolution to this is simple. One day, she looked at you and said "I'm ending this relationship and there is nothing you can do about it. Regardless of how this feels for you, I'm moving on." She was completely within her rights to do that. And now it's time for you to assert your rights.
"I've started a new relationship and there is nothing you can do about it. Regardless of how this feels for you, I'm moving on."
She's not going to be happy with that, but she'll get over it. Trust me on this, she said that exact same sentence in her head when she ended the relationship with you.
DeadGuysWife 51 6h30m
It's a perfectly normal feeling too, hard seeing someone you once had feelings for dating someone else. How you respond to that situation though speaks a lot about your character.
For example, I recently went to a birthday party with some friends for a girl I had hooked up with several times in the past year. We had discussed dating officially, but ultimately I realized it would be a disaster and we parted ways. Two months later I go to this birthday party and she's already seriously dating this new dude. It was difficult seeing them together and definitely inspired some jealousy, but in the end I sucked it up and dealt with the decision I had made, still had a good time at the party with my friends. End of the party I said goodbye when leaving, wished her a happy birthday, and said I was glad she found someone who obviously cares for her and supports her dreams.
SilverNightingale 9 8h24m
I experienced this, and I was the one who initiated the break-up. It's not that I wanted to appear selfish/jealous, but man, break-ups are hard.
I cried and vented my way through the shitty feelings, asked my ex (it had only been a month) if we should just maintain our LDR, and he said that wasn't a good idea after the progress we'd made, individually.
I am glad he was right to decline me on that, but at the time, I felt pretty broken.
goldenloxe 83 7m
Do yourself (and the ex) a favor and cut off contact with the ex. She is your ex for a reason, and she's already served her purpose of teaching you what is not your type. Learn and move on.
Learnt lots that's for sure.
MrPeterson- 33 5m
She still likes you, and wanted to see how much you'd be willing to fight for 'us'. And she is dissapointed you didnt want to fight, and moved on rather than put effort in that.
Women do this, i have experienced it too.
Gingerbinger83 17 4h16m
I fought for a woman for 3 years, showed her all I wanted was us. Sometimes no matter what you do, it's not enough. It's not a knock on women at all, and men are just as bad to play these games. The healthiest thing is to cut ties, even though it's always the most painful. I would have fought for her every day of our lives, but there has to be effort on both parts.
MrPeterson- 3 5h6m
I tried super hard at the start and fought hard! This is the part I don't get?
Aye. Recurring question I have asked myself; "is nothing enough?" Answer; no.
Tabarnak1 3 32m
I am a woman and I totally agree. Well put.
aloriaaa 8 6h34m
I've seen this a few times. I call it the "dick/ vagina under glass" phenomenon. "In case of sudden loneliness, break glass and retrieve ex." I've had boyfriends try it with me and seen women do it to my guy friends. Basically assuming that since they did the dumping, you'll jump to get back with them if offered the chance.
my5cent 3 6h27m
Don't waste time on the past. Her lost. Use that energy on you and your new life.
trollsko 7 2h27m
For me its the same as OP but I have really tried and my ex don't see a future together right now. However when she found out about this girl I have started to date she got really jealous and were talning about maybe we will get back later.
stoicbirch 3 6h17m
People that do that deserve to be lonely. It's a great form of natural selection, except they get ostracised from their local dating pool.
ThrowAwaymywords 33 3h28m
Let me tell you man. A few years back I dated this girl for7 years. I did everything for her and her family to the point I didn't have anything to my name. I had a really bad day at work and came home driving 3 hours home. She wants a break. All I got was we need to talk, then I want a break. She was upset and confused that I left moved on and didn't want anything to do with her. She tried to keep bothering me and kept wanting to talk etc. I cut her off cold turkey. Point is some people are so unrealistic and out of touch with reality that it's toxic keep yourself away man don't bother taking to her or let someone who gave you a reason to leave get back in your life you deserve better
jefferiesthrowaway 12 5h31m
I've been in your shoes, you grind yourself to the bone then they disappear as you hit rock bottom. But we're stronger for it. Leave toxic people behind in 2020
ThrowRA_Alcohol 8 7h16m
Can confirm, these types of partners absolutely exist. Say they love you, are practically joined to your hip, the second you hit rock bottom they are nowhere to be seen. Some people are painstakingly selfish and definitely not partner material. And ironically enough, it's these types who always end up in relationships.
simplylackadaisical 0 9h43m
I agree. This happened to me. My ex fiancé I was in a relationship with for 7 years ended up getting into a relationship after relationship weeks after we split. It was heart wrenching truth be told. It's been 1.5 years since we split and he's now engaged with his latest. Sometimes life seems unfair- I've spent the last year working on myself, I feel much more emotionally stable. Yet, my dating life is non existent, which is weird because a new person would actually end up getting the beat version of myself now.
Sounds like he has BPD (borderline personality disorder). They're known to monkey branch from one person to the next making huge commitments (engagements, moving in together). Let me guess? He won't speak to you now / he will speak to you but he's a total dick all the time? It's also extremely common for people to be single for a long time after dating someone with BPD, mostly due to the trauma it leaves behind.
I could be wrong but that is exactly what it sounds like. Take a look at /r/bpdlovedones
Actually, his mom has BPD, I had an inclination she might have some sort of personality disorder snd it was diagnosed officially after our breakup. Is it hereditary? My ex and I would speak frequently after the break up, but he was very angry with me sometimes, even tho he would initiate conversation. I would just ignore him when he became agitated or rude, because I didn't want to end up becoming agitated too. Even tho he motioned the break up, to which I agreed because collectively we didn't work well together, he is the one who up until a few months back would text or call me with nostalgic moments we had. So needless to say, the engagement came as a surprise but I felt nothing by it. Apparently he was "very concerned" about me hearing the news. But I always tell folks how I felt so emotionally exhausted after so many years in that relationship, I wasn't aware of just how tired I was, until I was out of there. And after some time of course.
ThrowRA_Alcohol 2 10h24m
Is it hereditary?
Yep. And growing up in an environment around someone with BPD can make you catch 'fleas' as they call them, where they adopt the insane behaviors from their parent.
100% definitely sounds like he has BPD. The swinging to and from and indirectly involving you in the new engagement ("I was worried about what you think") is him keeping you as a back up. The emotional exhaustion is also a form of trauma. The random anger is also an indicator for a personality disorder.
Head over to BPDlovedones. Post your story. See what people say and if what they are saying rings true. It's been a life saver for me. I had no idea my ex had BPD, saw my story literally played out dozens of times (they're textbook) and realized I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with someone with a personality disorder. I've also been single for well over a year now as even though my relationship was only 7 months long, it left a shit ton of damage because she moved on so quickly and easily to someone new - and they moved in together super fast.
simplylackadaisical 2 11h5m
Thanks for all the insight. I will definitely be checking out these subreddits. Also, maybe this will resonate with you as it has with me -the wound is probably not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. Best of luck treading forward!
alpha_keeny_wun -1 11h44m
Hard truth incoming. If you hit true rock bottom why are you trying to be with anyone? Shouldn't you be focusing on you and why you are failing at life? I understand we all want to be loved and helped when we are down and out but at the same time it's extremely selfish and one sided for me to assume my partner will be with me if I fuck up continuously. I haven't read one person actually own their fuck ups in here. Just mostly entitled people complaining they should have been given a better chance. (Like really you were with this person for years to figure it out)
carrotsicle 23 39m
She sounds like the clingy and overly jealous type. Ex's are ex's for a reason and it seems like you are the type that has actually learned and moved on. The majority of comments are advising you cut off all contact with her, and I agree. I hope you find peace away from her, and hopefully she'll move on and learn.
kingswood71 16 1h18m
Thanks for the advice, yeah worked really hard to get past it all. Then this! N.C. from here in
PROLURKER69 3 11h3m
Beautiful state, that North Carolina
Gavroche15 20 4h1m
If she brings it up again, just ask her "what did you expect me to do when you broke up with me?"
TuffRivers 15 6h30m
You dont want me, you dont want me to be with someone else, how miserable do i have to be for you to be happy?
Still the best simpsons quote
mizzmilitia 2 7h16m
Nobody loves Millhouse
rebeccalucie 15 6h35m
Maybe I can help because I feel like I'm in a similar position to your ex. I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 years ago and it really hurt me to see that he'd moved on, despite the fact I genuinely do want him to be happy with someone else. The truth is it just hurts our ego that you aren't crazy about us anymore. She'll be battling with feeling hurt that the relationship has properly come to a close now as you're seeing someone else, the thoughts of you with the new girl and as mentioned, her ego.
OP, it's a good idea to cut contact. I think you might struggle to completely move on if you're worrying about upsetting her. This is your life, make it a happy one.
kandroid96 6 7h18m
My ex left me after almost three years and it took a long time to figure out why she would leave, and completely block me (Treat me as if I do not exist anymore.)
What I learned after 9-months of pondering it was that she blocked me not because I was nothing to her, but because I was A LOT for her and she would not be able to handle me moving on like I would and will end up doing. It also means that she is still affected by the break up more than I am because it's been longer than a year and she continues to be uncharacteristically elusive pretty much everywhere to my understanding.
Meanwhile I am reaching the point where I am ready to make my come back. It hit me hard when it happened but I chose to sit in solitude for a little over a year in my time not working or doing any necessities. Recently I have started getting back out there, showing enthusiasm, having a greater online presence and wanting to engage with people.
They say that when the person who got dumped is reaching the point where they have recovered that's when the person who did the dumping is going to begin really feeling the affects of a break up for many of the reasons you gave .
" The truth is it just hurts our ego that you aren't crazy about us anymore. She'll be battling with feeling hurt that the relationship has properly come to a close now as you're seeing someone else, the thoughts of you with the new girl and as mentioned, her ego.
winterwolf_1 3 11h25m
This made me think, It's been three months since I broke up with my ex even tho I'm talking to other women and told her I was seeing someone else after her insisting on us being friends, I tried being friends, but befriending and ex is and never was my thing. I feel like she took it hard and blocked me everywhere. I still think and care about her. I Haven't felt a connection with anyone else. I do find myself wondering how things would be after healing and being older, wondering if things could be different..
CowGlitter 14 4h44m
I have an experience from her perspective and I think it's how she handled it thats the issue.
A few years ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because I pretty much had a life breakdown which ended up lasting a few years. I broke up with him because he was too nice and I was having a horrible time and him being so nice was making me feel worse. (Stupid reason I know).
However, even knowing breaking up with him was the right thing and even now a few years later knowing I never would/will get back with him, when he got a new girlfriend it really hurt me. I don't know why, I think it's because we stayed best friends and still talk everyday and it was just a change in dynamic.
But, never once did I mention that to him. I didn't want to be with him, I didn't want to hurt him or upset him or make a fuss about how him being with her upset me. Because I know I had no right to and it wouldn't help me or him or his new girlfriend. What I was feeling was valid, but it was something I didn't need to share as it would only make things worse.
What she's feeling is okay, but she needs to keep it to herself and her voicing this to you is what the issue is. If she doesn't want to be with you, who you're with is not her business and she needs to accept that.
quidvismulieribus 12 5h52m
You won the race. She thought she would find someone else before you. You beat her to it and her ego took a hit.
You should (90% of the time) not stay in touch with exes.
Maybe ring her up six months from now, as a polite "hey, glad to see you're doing better, we are such adults, haha" gesture, otherwise, you've got a "new life" to take care of, let go of the old one!
AtlasF1ame 11 25m
Who the fuck cares? She is your exe
deepayes 3 8h38m
Watch out for viruses
maceocat 10 7m
Good luck with the new person!!
kingswood71 6 8m
itsallminenow 8 2h47m
I got left by the girl i lived with, her mum came round and helped her move her stuff out, i got the stink eye from mum for "letting down her little girl" and so on. Then two days later she sees me in the street riding my bike with a girl on the pillion. She rang me up and started yelling down the phone at me about how I seemed to get over her really quick and how she obviously didn't matter that much to me despite us being together for four years etc. etc.
I just shrugged her off, told her that leaving me was kind of a done deal and how long must I wait before I see anyone else, by her rules.
Ten years later we still meet occasionally due to mutual friends, and she laughs at me reminding her about her "I don't want you but nobody else can either" routine.
You can accept that a relationship is over without wanting it to have been nothing. The neuroses of it depends on how long since you broke up. If it's a week, it's natural to want to see somebody caring that you left. If it's a year, then she got issues.
swansongblue 8 5h30m
She broke up with you as she was 'monkey branching' (checking out someone else). You've upset that plan by tearing her return branch away. The best laid plans eh OP? Good luck.
DeadGuysWife 8 6h22m
She's selfish, plain and simple. She believes she was the best thing that ever happened to you, and eventually you would come crawling back begging for her to take you back.
That illusion has been shattered, and she can't handle the fact.
The worst thing you can do to an ex is 'know' that you were the best they will ever get. What's better is actually becoming the best that they'll have to live with losing ;p
Jreal10 8 6h28m
Why would you be in contact with a ex? That's problem number one.
ActuallyAGangsterPEW 4 6h35m
aetuoqdgjlwcb 7 6m
Stop talking to her. After a broke up, you need time to both completely get over the other one. She doesn't want to be with you but she isn't over you. You need to let go so you can properly move on without being held back.
rickycali 6 4h49m
You moved on. You made the power move. Now she's mad she lost the game.
D-camchow 6 5h30m
stop talking to your ex if she is going to be this immature about it. Move on for real, leave her in your past.
abattleborn_ 6 5h51m
She's just jealous because you moved on first. That's all.
She'll be jealous no matter how soon it is ;p
modsaresensitiveasaf 6 7h53m
Why do you still speak to her?
JonMellor 5 1h49m
Why are you talking to you ex?
CaptainBoltagon 5 5h36m
Of course she's mad, her back up plan isn't going to be available anymore.
Why are you still talking to her?
OlderTheBetter 5 6h43m
RUN dude, in the opposite direction.
HappyHighwayman 5 7h26m
Zero. Contact. Policy. Why would you stay friends with her?
Bangbangsmashsmash 5 7h59m
Some people never move past the mentality of a toddler. I don't want that toy, but I don't want anyone else to play with that toy. The value of a toy skyrockets when you see someone else playing with it
TeddansonIRL 4 4h58m
This is pure manipulation. Do not stand for it, you have done nothing wrong in moving on. Look forward, not backward, and do not let this person get under your skin.
Best thing you can do is tell her to cease contact.
SouthParkTimmy 4 5h31m
Why would you feel bad for talking to someone? Hell I would embellish your story a bit. Tell her that you met a great women, sexually mindblowing, and thank your ex for breaking up with you, because you never been happier.
beatrillpothead 4 6h4m
You need to take care of the person you moved on with and ignore her. If a person I'm dating is still involved with an ex this way I'd break up with them. So, block this person and move on.
canadian_viking 4 6h29m
She doesn't want you, but she wants you to still be invested into her.
uthillygooth 4 7h10m
She mad she lost her back up plan.
TearsOfTheMariner 4 7h55m
She's selfish and wanted to keep you around as a backup plan
Rifter0876 4 10h25m
This is why you go no contact with ex's, so much less drama.
lblover562 4 10h32m
Why even talk to your ex if you're moving on?
MTknowsit 4 11h1m
Stop talking to exes and this problem solves itself.
chads_inside_my_lady 3 2h15m
She just wants an ego boost from the idea that you still want to be with her.
LaDrezz 3 4h59m
Don't be silly. What reason do you have to feel bad? The fact that you moved on just pricked her ego. Nothing more, nothing less.
Lilliekins 3 5h55m
You were supposed to moan and weep and tear out your hair and join a monastery.
mouthofthecarp 3 6h27m
Congratulations! Some guys have to answer no and deal with that and it can be disastrous.
Heyjude31621 3 6h44m
Yeah she's manipulating you and it's working. Best thing after a break up is to give each other space and time to heal and move on. By space I mean dont communicate and dont pry on social media. Cant go back and forth, and it's not healthy to go from one relationship to the next.
Sauceface23 3 7h23m
Probably some sort of manipulation tactic to make you want her more. Been through it myself, definitely better off without that kinda shit
lemontart96 3 7h51m
"She don't love me, she just don't wanna see me with someone else" - Eminem
alanball7 3 9h3m
Erich Fromm, a psychologist, has a good book called To Have or To Be, that describes 2 different ways in which we relate to the world, including relationships. It is often reflected in our language: I have a girlfriend vs. I am with someone.
So often we tend to possess our partners and when we lose them, we get the same feeling as when someone steals from us. I think she is still grappling with the notion that you are no longer hers and that is how she expressed it.
MrDrCaptainManCDR 3 10h2m
Why are you still talking to an ex after breaking up?
VenomBurnz 3 12h7m
Dont feel bad, that's what she wants. She is just mad she didn't find someone new before you did, is what it sounds like.
Girls are like monkeys. What do l mean by that you may ask....? Because they won't let go of one branch before they have a firm grasp on another one.
tj719 2 5h8m
Listen to the song Somebody Else by the 1975 and it will explain it for you.
"I don't want your body but I hate to think about you with somebody else. Our love has gone cold you're intertwining your soul with somebody else... no I don't want your body but I'm picturing your body with somebody else"
sortaweebassmexican 2 5h11m
Girls are weird man...really weird
EmeraldOW 2 6h15m
Do not feel bad. I had a girl break up with me and within a couple weeks she was in a new relationship. About 7 months after the breakup she found out I was fooling around with someone and was upset (while she's still dating this new guy). You have every right to be with whoever you want and no obligation to make sure she's happy.
mimsyyy21 2 6h27m
She doesn't want to be with you but at the same time, she doesn't want you to move on! She wants you to be "hung up" on her or upset about the relationship ending.
Something similar happened to my boyfriend- his ex gf broke up with him, and he started dating me several months later. The minute she found out he was in a new relationship, she started texting him saying how much she missed him and kind of apologizing. Which is funny because he was single for about 5 months after she broke up with him and she didn't try to contact him once... until he found someone new.
I think people like that may feel kind of jealous that their ex moved on before they did.. especially since they were the one to initiate the breakup!
Lysa3 2 7h6m
Just ignore her.
iamthenightrn 2 7h35m
She wanted you to be sad and mopey and then be her fallback, screw her.
Wannabeanarchy 2 8h24m
Question. How long have you been apart?
VivaciousMel 2 8h38m
I was with my ex for 6 years, we broke up and never spoke to each other again. (It's been 5 years since) Definitely recommend
KellyTheBroker 2 9h18m
How long were you guys broken up?
If it was a short time, she mightve felt like she wasn't that important.
That or she was pissed you werent sad.
justonefear 2 9h24m
people are unfortunately complicated
our actions don't really dictate our feelings with accuracy
i understand where you are both coming from but yeah cut ya losses, start fresh, dont worry about her feelings
t-boyharris 2 9h25m
Her ego took a hit that you moved on so easily.
She was expecting you to be there as her backup plan if her current branch swing was unsuccessful.
I went through a similar situation last week. She broke up with me twice in the past 7 months. I found out she had a crush on another guy. She broke up with me, went for it and he ended up ghosting her.
Now she wants me back, but I'm not going for it. Don't do it either OP.
I_FUCKIN_LOVE_CATS 2 9h29m
This is the #1 reason why I don't talk to exes and I don't stay friends with them. It's always a waste of time. And 99.9% of people can't actually get over their shit, they just pretend.
donkeyjiz 2 9h34m
She's a girl... that's what they do lol She doesn't want you and doesn't want you to be with anyone else Either get back together with her, get married, have 3 kids and a dog and end up divorced paying $1200 a month in child support 6 years from now... or DELETE HER NUMBER
throwawaydafuture542 2 9h35m
Your first mistake was talking to your ex. You don't need to cut them out of your life completely but you definitely benefit from an initial clean break. I'd say at least 3 months at a minimum 6 if you were very serious and maybe a year even if you were really stuck on them. After you've given yourself time to develop your life without them, you can potentially approach a platonic friendship.
danigirl3694 2 9h53m
She either wants you back or she wants you to be her fall back/security blanket incase her new relationships don't work out. Either way don't fall for it and don't feel guilty for moving on. You have every right to meet/talk to other people and be happy.
She left you, her loss at the end of the day and yes she can "deal with it" when you do move on because it's no longer her business what you do. May be best to delete her number/block her and go NC, at least for a while so you can both move on properly.
dimnaught 2 10h24m
This means one thing and that is you are totally killing it. You're moving on, talking to new people, you even got her jealous that you're doing so good. You obviously still have desirable qualities and a good head on your shoulders, so don't feel bad for your ex for moving on, and don't let your communication with her affect any future relationships. Take your class , do your dance, and when it's all over they can kiss your ass cuz you passed.
Endless_intermission 2 11h24m
She was quite upset, and said that whilst she broke up with me, she doesn't want anyone else to be with me?
Who gives a fuck what she wants? She has no claim over you or what you do or who you talk to anymore. Do what you want. She's just taking a hit to her ego because apparently you aren't huddled in a dark room crying over her still.
Pigfuker 2 11h34m
Bro just go and do exactly as she'd asked. Enjoy!
Master_File 2 11h45m
i made a thread about this recently. EVerytime i get dumped, i block them on social media and go no contact. And 100 percent of the time i get a text saying how harsh or passive aggressive i was for doing that.
I got dumped this weekend and said thats fine, lets go no contact and got lit up with how this is exactly how she expected me to act
It really makes me fucking hate these people when they get upset after dumping you when you didnt get upset at being dumped.
rodneycolemanstove 2 11h45m
Better question, why do you care? She's your ex. Quit chatting with her.
Laukie220 2 12h10m
Don't let her fool you! She was hoping you would try to wine and dine, perhaps buy her jewelry, call, txt, do everything possible to get her back, even though she told you to get on with your life! She realized that Ooops! instead of being miserable, mourning her and trying to figure out how to get her back, you're just doing that...moving on with your life, talking to someone! Do NOT fall for her schemes and plots. Do NOT feel guilty about talking to someone, even dating someone. Do NOT take her back! You'll feel like a yo-yo the next time she dumps you and tells you to get on with your life. I don't know why some people makes and females play this stupid game, but do NOT fall for it! Good luck with the talking and dating of the young women you meet.
rawsoulprophet 1 6h20m
Dude. Why are you trying to understand women's emotions? Just move on. Fuggeddaboutit
fermat1432 1 6h25m
First of all: we humans are only marginally creatures of reason. Secondly, it is very common for the dumper to be upset when they learn that the dumpee has moved on and is not in deep mourning! Just the way it is!
hinata167 1 6h57m
She might have broken up because she might have thought you might have lost interest and depending on how fast you moved on she could have felt justified in that belief. But none of us know so you should ask her.
gfunkmartin 1 6h59m
She's upset to see you move on because regardless of how it ended or who dumped whom, you both shared a relationship. I imagine that it's still hard for her too, not just you. Breakups can be confusing and hurtful. I think that seeing you move on so much more quickly than she has makes her feel like she wasn't as important to you as she thought, or even that the relationship was one-sided. She'll be fine given time. Don't feel bad about your own healing process. Even if you decide to remain friends with your ex, it may be beneficial to you both to cut her off for now, and revisit a friendship later when the wounds aren't so fresh.
nom-nom-babies 1 7h5m
I broke up with my long time girlfriend and I didn't ask her but she told me she almost slept with a few dudes and it tore me up inside. It's not because I wanted her to be all hung up on me but because she felt the need to resort to that and that's not who she is.
Alonso81687 1 7h9m
Classic "You can't have your cake and eat it too" meaning although she doesn't want to be with you, she doesn't want you to be with someone else. Pretty sure she still wants to keep you around as an option to fall back on. I've been in such a situation and it fucking sucks and is very confusing. I'd suggest cutting ties, man.. Focus on the new girls because this one try and keep you and a string.
Yazzylou997 1 7h10m
Dude she is playing you don't fall for the mind games.
Shanashy 1 7h11m
She didn't want you, but she still wanted you to pine for her and be miserable. Now that you're happy, she's not.
OwnbiggestFan 1 7h13m
The person who breaks up mourns the relationship also. They usually think about possible future regrets but they know they had reasons to end it. She was being honest about not wanting you to be with someone else but she knows that is not fair and she will have to deal with it as she wants you to be happy. I would not respond to any of her messages or calls for a month or so. This will allow you both to get some seperation from one another and you will be free to focus on your new relationship.
GeckoWrangler 1 7h14m
Block her number, she broke up with you. She was playing games with you and pissed off that you aren't.
Awanderer1991 1 7h15m
Her ego wants to imagine you pining away for her, heartbroken and unwilling to go on without her. She probably hoped you would chase after her and try to get back together with her. You immediately talking to someone else blows that fantasy away and shows you weren't as head over heels in love with her as she hoped. That stings her ego. She was playing some mind games with you to boost her ego, so let her go and just move on.
ChrisPBacon420Blaze 1 7h17m
Don't be friends with your ex for this exact reason. It won't be fair to your new girlfriend either that you're keeping her around... when she clearly has feelings for you or wants to control you.
Bochinkotron 1 7h18m
Mine did the same. 5 years later after leaving me in search of a more suitable sex partner with a bigger dick and leaving me with 2 kids ( the only reason), I have finally found someone who made me happy and we moved in together. My ex wife was crying, asked for a hug, got antidepressants prescribed and when I asked " what the fuck her problem was" she said she did not want to lose me as a person that a was - a heart broken insulted babysitter who's emotions and life she toyed with by promising to come back, even coming back, flirting, ect. Fuck your ex and mine.
Danglin_Fury 1 7h19m
Sounds like she wanted to monkey branch and be the hub in a wagon wheel of dicks while you sat there all mopey.... then when she was done she could come back to you and you would take her back....good on you for finding someone else!
DoodleNoodle15 1 7h27m
Ahhhhhh~ The innocent first time experience, this my friend is a part of experience through life which many of us have already went through.
Just ignore her, at all times.
77tuoemtae 1 7h35m
Read your title again. Get it? Well read it again.
DevilGuy 1 7h35m
She was trying to get you to chase her and it blew up in her face, this is a thing immature girls do, I've never really understood it but I've seen it enough times to notice a pattern.
SlytherinSilence 1 7h42m
It's the classic "I don't want you..... I just want you to keep on wanting me and not someone else."
Like that Ariana grande song "boyfriend," the whole we ain't together but I don't want you to be with someone else.
adultinginparadise 1 7h50m
Just walk away. What they think, feel, want is irrelevant at this point. Sounds calious but when they walked out the door were they thinking about them or you? Hold your head find someone that will be honest.
Wrongendofthelight 1 8h18m
Are you guys pretty young? some of us have to work through our over romanticized idealizations of what relationships are like. She may have thought something needed work down that chose to break up with you in hopes that you would "get it" instead of just communicating, or any other number of maladaptive situations that I promise you don't want to deal with. Lol
AieshaCash 1 8h21m
She is mad you not single and sad crying under a table. For whatever reason she broke up she really didn't want to but had to for peace. Well there is peace and also happiness with someone else. She regretful but it's too late
meeheecaan 1 8h27m
Wow bullet dodged bro! She was hoping this woud wrekt you but instead you grow up and moved on im glad for you
doesthatmakemecrazy0 1 8h28m
Oh buddy I'm in that same situation 😯 I broke up with my ex after she told me she didn't love me anymore and that she wanted me to be happy and move on. A month later she saw me on a date with someone and tore into me right then and there for "betraying her" I quickly apologised to my date and pointed out to my ex that she was the one who wanted it to end in the first place and told me to move on so she had no right to judge me for doing exactly what she told me to do
Desjardins97 1 8h29m
She's just immature.
StayBehindThePines 1 8h32m
When I asked for a divorce from my husband he went around bashing me. Making me feel so bad for ending our marriage. A month later I decided we should work on our marriage instead of divorcing. He instead found a girlfriend. I was upset but mainly for how he treated me. But now I'm happy for him. They are still together!
_Constellations_ 1 8h40m
She broke up with you, and you claim to have moved on. Why in the world would you be in contact with her still?
Why would you care how she feels or what she thinks. She stated clear she doesn't want you, the fuck you for then about her feelings? Why even ask us?
She is obviously jealous as hell and wants to see you feel bad because she doesn't like that it's so easy to move on from her. It would be borderline understandable if you would have dumped her, but she dumped you for god's sake.
lovejuancarlos 1 8h41m
Leave her alone. Shes playing victim. Yall aint good for each other. I can tell yalls relationship is a toxic one. Get away whilst yous can.
doylebob 1 8h44m
Do not think about her dude, she is playing with you. If you were to get back together you would always have the doubt. She is only angry because you are moving on You deserve better
DeviantKhan 1 8h46m
There's a narrative people sometimes try to create to make them feel better about their actions. In the case of cheating they'll often project or come up with justification for cheating.
In a breakup they want to feel like you're not as worthy of them so they feel like they made the right choice. If you're immediately finding other options then they are forced to deal with the fact they didn't 100% make the right decision. So, they get angry about it.
Her anger is about herself; not you. Why are you still talking to her so soon after a breakup? It's probably healthier to get some distance, and if at some point you want to be friends then try that.
AloneLeek143 1 8h47m
Manipulation 101 dude.
She's literally manipulating you.
archaeborxteryx 1 8h53m
Reminds me of an ex I had that angrily messaged me to say I should have 'asked him first' before moving on after he broke up with me, haha.
Anyway, there's a multitude of reasons why people say this. Sometimes you know the relationship isn't working but still have feelings for the person so it hurts to see them move on, other times they're just mad to see your life hasn't gone to ruin without them.
VapourEyes333 1 8h54m
My gf cheated and dumped me after 5 years, she seemed upset when I told her I had slept with a couple of women 4 months later... have no pity for her, she is just too familiar for somebody who needed you to leave her life forever...
twnflmlv 1 8h54m
Wants to have her cake and eat it too. Plain and simple
doodoopoopybrains 1 8h55m
She just wants you to feel bad for "wanting" her
LombardiX 1 8h56m
Why do you care anyway? Serious question, not trying to be toxic. Her asking you that question hit you hard enough that you had to come on reddit and make a post about it.
gaymer91 1 9h1m
I'm not saying this to defend your girlfriend; she's being a total asshat telling you that she doesn't want you to be happy with anyone else. However, the heart isn't exactly a rational being, and whilst she shouldn't have told you she felt this way to try to make you feel bad, it's a pretty common feeling people have
hwasong5 1 9h2m
You can come up with all kinds of stories, analogies and insults that describe the situation on the surface. The root of all this is being somewhere on the spectrum towards neurosis - a constant distress in you soul, in your psyche. On the surface it's much complex and reflected in all kinds of unhealthy behaviors. It requires recognition and either deep understanding of yourself or a therapy from a professional, to learn how to control these chaotic instincts. Right now she's a child in distress. Many people have it without realizing, including me, as a result of lack of care since birth, even stress of mother during pregnancy, and environmental effects. It's also not black and white. It's like a wavelength of your instincts, of your emotions. The amplitude can get worse with age and stressful events. It can result in these pull & push behaviors, being needy, overly promiscuous, greedy... basically once eager once anxious child in an adult's body. Some external events satisfy temporarily, but it's never enough. Every person somewhere on the spectrum, and it's reflected differently on the surface. Ideally the psyche should be stable enough to live a healthy life, others need help or will only find peace in death, sadly.
MyWiddleSmushFace 1 9h12m
Partners are an idea of security. You guys are still talking, so she feels you are still a place of security for her. Another woman showing up will mean she has to actually move on. That said, she's not completely unaware of these things. She wants you to be happy.
You should stop talking to each other.
Muckkr28 1 9h15m
Some people are just a**holes when it comes to seeing someone else happy.
runningfromlionsxoxo 1 9h20m
I'm betting it's a whole lot like my husband and his ex wife. She's the one that went behind his back and filed for a divorce without even talking to him about it; but now that he's moved on and he's happy with someone else she's doing everything she can to ruin his life (they have kids together).
It all boils down to jealousy. "How dare you be happy with someone who isn't me"
She's even asked him to leave me and come back to her. Then she said all this crap about how she will always be there for him whenever he's ready to come back no matter if it's 25 years down the road. And I'm just like "bruh you cheated on him and accused him of abusing you and now you won't let him see his kids without a fight, he ain't coming back"
Misery loves its company. 🙄🙄
DeathBahamutXXX 1 9h29m
She doesn't want you but she also doesn't want you to not want her.
k---mkay 1 9h38m
She wants you back but she wants you to commit to doing some work on yourself to make it work. She broke up with you because there is something you are doing or not doing that you either need to do or not do. If you are looking for someone new, whi will accept you the way you are without change or growth then that pisses her off because you could have put that energy into the relationship but instead you are all too eager to just say fuck it . You didnt really care about her anyway so move on and perhaps face the same damn problem over and over again.
DrinkerOfWater69 1 9h48m
She was hoping you were broken and distraught and when she comes back you'll be all up in arms about getting back together. But since you moved on with your life, like you should, she knows she won't be able to get back with you. Because you aren't blinded by sadness.
Its very immature and very control/Manipulative. Just ignore her and keep talking to this new person.
Best of luck to ya!
AlaLani7 1 9h49m
Wow I've known guys who did this. I think people like to have a back up. Like if you still liked her should could hook up with you from time to time when no one else was available. It's totally shitty behavior. Forget her she's not even friend material.
lupuslo 1 9h58m
It could be she has bipolar and is stugling to figure her self out. My ex was the same.
distillingbotanicals 1 9h58m
Could be that if you've moved on before her, then she's bitter about that. I've been that girl before. It passes.
I ended the relationship and moved towards my goals and all that jazz. When I found out he'd moved on and was happy, I realized that even though I thought I was 'better' than him, I'm really not. That made me soooooooo mad.
But then I moved on. She will too. I do hope that your new relationship is going well!
canadiangeologist 1 10h9m
You have already won, she'll be begging to get back with you in a month.
VorFemme 1 10h12m
Dog in the manger.
VitalyRomanenko 1 10h15m
Means she feels she never represented anything for you, hence you moving to a new target without second thought. Maybe she broke up for the same reason.
N3verS0ft 1 10h16m
Manipulative behavior, also people generally feel down when all of a sudden they arent the center of attention anymore, all her problems though and not your fault
Ed98208 1 10h18m
Jealousy and logic often don't go together.
Notmetoday301 1 10h18m
Since there isn't much info I would imagine why a person may break up. Despite this sub always thinking the worst of someone it is possible there was an incompatibility that she knew she needed to move on from you for but loves you all the same. For example she wants kids, you don't want kids, she breaks up... Boom sad.
Not everyone is out to manipulate others. It's also hard when a person could change something and won't change for person A but does change for person B. Like oh you never wanted to hike with me but now I see you hiking with them. Those kind of things can make a person feel sad post relationship especially if the relationship ended on a decent note.
You know your situation better.
racinguru56 1 10h20m
Because they want to control you and obviously didnt have a high opinion of you. They probably figured they could come back when the other option they chose didn't work out and you'd come back like a lost puppy. If they really cared they'd be happy for you.
cannoliwest 1 10h20m
Because she still want to have a certain amount of power over you. She's wants you to feel bad about moving on. I've had it happen to me many times, and I understand where it comes from but I think it's very despicable. My suggestion is to keep meeting new people, stop talking to her for a while, and to chase excellence by turning yourself into the person you want yourself to be. Fulfill whatever your needs may be at the present moment without sacrificing what you can do to make yourself happy and successful in that which you desire to be successful in.
FlyingMamMothMan 1 10h22m
What's up with everyone using the word "whilst" so often in working these days? It's not used improperly, it's just unusual, or at least used to be?
lorelei_fluss 1 10h24m
She is just being selfish. This behavior makes me think of a parody of an old kids prayer.
And now i lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
And if i die before i wake
I pray the lord my toys to break
So nobody else can play with them.
derpy-kitten 1 10h24m
She doesn't want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you.
T-Eazyy 1 10h25m
Maybe she broke up with you for another guy and it fell through.
theytookmyusername12 1 10h27m
She probably wanted you to either beg to get her back or is for some reason now regretting it, my ex was also jealous when I moved on, and asked me about the girl I was talking to and asked me why I liked her. I still don't get women...
karebearkilla79 1 10h30m
Did she give you specific reasons for her breaking up with you? Things you could have said or done to change for the better and for the relationship? How long had it been since the break up before you started talking to the new person?
XenaSerenity 1 10h32m
It's because your happy and she's not hahaha. It's the best kind of revenge, congrats on moving on!
orangingerade 1 10h34m
I was happy for my ex when he moved on, as fast as it seemed, but I was sad for myself because it meant our friendship was over. I didn't know that would happen but I guess it makes sense.
garywinthorpecorp 1 10h58m
Idk but if it were me, I'd meet up with the ex, have a conversation about how she is doing, what her feelings for you are, if she's okay. She seems to still want you, and you need to set her on a path that isn't obsessing over you
kappymeister 1 11h0m
Block ur ex, no need for each other to see what the heck the other is doing
dortatobandato 1 11h2m
Block her, she is manipulating to get back in a relationship. She just wants attention move on
ZoloftSanta 1 11h11m
She wanted you to stay single so that she can get you back in a few years after she's done getting rutted out by guys who don't care for her at all.
[deleted] 1 11h12m
SomeoneYouDontKnow70 1 11h13m
You were her backup plan in case her new relationship didn't work out, and she's distraught that her backup plan is falling apart. Don't feel bad. Do as she originally told you, and move on.
boredhub77 1 11h17m
I think she was looking to you for romantic/sexual validation. She was hoping you'd be desperate for her which would serve to boost her ego. Here's the thing though OP, this validation comes from your emotional pain. You're not a toy and you don't deserve to be treated this way by someone you once loved. That's toxic and abuse af. I think in meeting someone new, you took away your ex's upper hand.
norrsam 1 11h22m
You son of a gun! :D Really proud of you!
max_and_friends 1 11h48m
If she didn't want you to act like you're single, she shouldn't have made you single in the first place. Keep on keeping on, friend.
chechnya23 1 11h48m
Stop giving her attention or she will try to sabotage your relationships.
xochislab 1 11h50m
this is how my current boyfriends ex also acted. she was upset her ex found happiness in someone else. thats how manipulative people try and keep you. they abuse your feelings and try and make you look like the bad guy. id cut her off completely, or else things could get messy with the new person youre talking to
babysmooth1111 1 11h51m
I recently broke up with my boyfriend and it wasnt something that was easy, I still love him and broke up with him for issues u think are mostly on him. We're still talking and I'm mixed between whether we can work things out or if moving on is best, but I too would be devastated if he just went and moved on, especially when I feel like I HAD to break up with him. It may not be because she's jealous and immature, people still have valid feelings of love even if they're the one who ended things.
BenningtonSophia 1 11h58m
Sounds like someone lacks life experience
faiabendr 1 12h3m
She was probably hoping you would miss her for longer. Maybe she thinks that because you moved on so quickly you might not have cared about her as much as she thought.
That's not you're problem. She broke up with you. Stop thinking about her. Don't talk to her right now. She made her choice now do what she can't.
meganlovescats2 1 12h3m
My ex legit cheated on me. He came over to get a few more things and started losing his shit that there were condoms on my nightstand. In my house, that he moved out of, because he CHEATED. I'll never understand and I don't think people who aren't fucked in the head ever will.
wooldm 1 12h4m
I went through this with an ex. We'd break up (sort of? We never officially got back together after the first break up but it was complicated) and I would move on and then he'd put a worm in my ear about my SO or sabotage the relationship by just being around and I was too dumb to cut things off. Before I got engaged to my DH he threw some hissy fit because he knew he finally lost me. He never really wanted me- he just wanted me to be available whenever he was single, or lonely, or whatever.
KingFerdidad 0 5h31m
Because breaking up with someone is hard. It's upsetting for both parties. When you leave someone your feelings don't just go away and it can be hard to see someone move on when you haven't yet.
modsbetrayus1 0 8h8m
Lmfao a little humblebraggy, op.
scotch_brian99 0 9h26m
What, is she 15?!?
earlgurl33 0 10h8m
Some women SUCK! She expects you to be so lonely and so sad without her. But, she did you a favor and i'm sure now she sees the error of her ways! You being happy and moving on will forever piss her off, but you deserve to be happy and I hope you're on your way there.
This happened to me recently, It's been three months since I broke up with my ex and 1 having no contact. Even tho I'm talking to other women and told her I was seeing someone else. I told her that because she insisted on us being friends, I tried, but befriending an ex is and never was my thing. I felt like she took it hard she told me that i deserve to be happy. She blocked me everywhere. I still think and care about her. I Haven't felt a connection with anyone else and it feels like it'll be hard or maybe I won't. I do find myself wondering how things would be after healing and being older, wondering if things could be different..
thefudmaster -1 6h5m
OP, there is no logic or reasoning with your ex. She sounds like a complete narcissist. Cut all contact and truly move on. There is no benefit at all for you to be talking to her.
tryllast -1 6h12m
Stop, this is a completely natural response, grow up.
PROLURKER69 2 10h59m
Are you out of your fucking mind?
thefudmaster 1 6h16m
I've been there. No reason to continue contact with an ex.
wtf is natural about keeping in contact with an ex nd then the one who did the dumping getting mad that the other has moved on?
k---mkay -1 9h40m
you are and idiot
cheeseandhamomlet -1 9h55m
Because she has not been able to find chad and she is going into narcissistic rage that she isn't the one looking down on you.
Crafty_Beach -2 6h20m
Just because she broke up with you doesn't mean it's not hard on her. She is hurt too and has to process the breakup as well. It always stings to see your ex moving on, no matter who broke up with who. She eventually realized it isn't her place to voice an opinion on you moving on and told you she wants you to be happy, and I think she really does. It's probably best to end it on a friendly note and then go no contact.
Don't feel bad about moving on and putting yourself out there. To me it sounds like she really wishes you the best but is hurt by the breakup too. Don't worry about her and focus on your own healing process.
you are an idiot
pakndamak -9 6h32m
SHE STILL LOVES YOU DUH!!! LOVE HER BACK UNLESS ITS OVER IN YOUR HEAD.