"What do you want them to do?" I asked.
As he spoke, I wrote what he said on a whiteboard. I then asked, "What does your customer want?" Phil was silent. I then, circled all the "I want" comments Phil had stated.
I explained to Phil, and the class, "I want" are the two words that will disconnect you with customers and prospects. Selling is about helping. If you notice the difference between the words selling and helping, it is just two letters. When you are selling, the tendency is to focus on what you want. Like Phil your mind is filled with a lot of "I want them to do….." self-talk. When you are helping, the tendency is to focus on them and what they need help with.
The focus of selling should not be on what you want. Customers do not care about what you want. It's all about discovering what the customer wants or in some cases, getting them to discover what they need.
If you can solve the customer's problem, they will listen to you. If you can solve your customer's customer problems, they will bring you in as an advisor.
The only way you can do that is forget about your needs and help them get what they want. If you ask them, they will tell you but you have to ask them the right way.
Get your needs met outside your sales job. 'I want" comes from the fact that you needs are not being met. Again, customers do not exists to fill your needs.
Eliminate the word "I" from your conversations with customers.
Questioning is a science and it takes practice to prefect it. Ask the top producing veteran sales engineers on your sales team and your sales manager what their one favorite question is. Write them down and use them.
For every manual your read about your products, read two on questioning. An online search will provide you plenty to choose from.