Some years ago, I took two friends to a party hosted by a successful and well-known local businessman. One of these friends had graduated from Stanford, while the other carried triple crown honors: a Bachelors from M.I.T, a Masters from Harvard and a Ph.D from Stanford.
Our host was very cordial and down-to-earth, and my friends spent considerable time conversing with him. They were very impressed with his knowledge of world affairs and business, his positive attitude and the way he treated people.
On the way back, I casually mentioned to them that our host had been profiled in the Bicentennial issue of Time magazine (covering a story of successful immigrants) and that he has also been featured on TV and in newspapers.
One of the guys asked "Which university did he go to and what did he major in?"
I said, "He has only been through elementary school. After that, he was sent to Africa for labor jobs to support his family. From there he went to England and worked in a machine shop, saved money and came to America to start a business. Now he is living the American Dream."
Said the other friend, "But talking to him, I felt he was very educated. It's difficult to believe that he does not have a degree!"
Too often, we mix up a Degree and an Education.
We get a "Degree" by demonstrating a certain level of proficiency in certain field: e.g. science, arts, business, etc.
Whereas we demonstrate "Education" through things such as: how we respect and treat every individual, how we handle difficulties and successes, our value system, our character, the type of choices that we make.
Most resumes of job applicants list degrees under the "Education" section. But the real proof of education lies in the section called "Experience" and how the person has handled those experiences.
Points to Ponder: "In the Business world there are no permanent enemies and no permanent friends." Mr. D's very last advice to me in October 1983.
Story Line: My personal belongings were already in the trunk and I was ready to depart, the last time as an employee, from the parking lot of the very first company I had worked for when I saw Mr. D walking towards his car. Mr. D was the general manager of our division and over my three years as an expat, I had developed a good rapport with him.
I immediately got out of my car and rushed to him. I thanked him for the opportunities the company had given me for the previous eight years and the many valuable lessons I had learned; listening to his stories whenever he visited our site and also in meetings during my visits back to the headquarters. Mr. D was touched and with his car's door half open, his hand holding his coat slung over his shoulder and with legs crossed he told me, "The trouble with you was that you only saw good in people"*. Seeing my surprise, he continued, "You have to keep two files on people (know/aware of the bad side of people too). You have to be very careful when to open The Second File but it must kept it in case the situation warrants" (at that time my guess of what he meant; when people go out of line and try to hurt you). He ended by stating, "In the business world there are no permanent enemies and no permanent friends". As he concluded, I realized that Mr. D had just imparted yet another lesson from his career to me. We shook hands and with tears in my eyes and a heavy heart I walked back to my car.
As I started growing within the corporate world and always led by a curious nature, I started observing what went around. I understood how true and valuable Mr. D's parting advice was as I saw office politics unfold. I used to share stories about Mr. D with people at work. They would laugh, many thinking they were the stuff of water cooler talk and lunch time fun.
It was the week of July 4th, our independence day. All our employees received a memo from the CEO stating that the second senior-most executive in the company would no longer be with us; citing and choosing to end with the standard line, "Left to pursue other interests". Somehow, the tone of the language in the memo seemed harsh and was also a big surprise because the executive who had "Left to pursue other interests" was well liked across the company and had an outstanding track record with our customers. I rushed to our department's Senior VP to ask him what could have happened. He asked me to close the door to his office. Bursting into laughter he said, "The Second File opened." He wouldn't say anything else because of the confidentiality his position demanded.
My thoughts shifted to the executive who had been let go; I amongst many in the company liked his leadership style and pleasant personality. He was brought in from another site because the board had insisted CEO to have a succession plan. He was very good at his job and also a friendly and caring person. He was well liked across the board and we had even heard that the board of directors liked him as well. Having read the history of many empires, sometimes I worried that when one becomes more popular than the boss, it may be time to look for another job.
Over time, the news about the cause of the executive's demise and accusations against him started leaking out. Hearing the reasons was shocking. Many believed they were not true and their take was that it was "The Second File" that was put into effect. Yet another time one of many of Mr. D's lessons had come true.
Over my 40 year career, I have seen "The Second File" played out in various different scenarios; some of them very sad. The lessons Mr. D imparted to me in my foundational years; to observe and to be aware of this "Second File" even though I chose not to keep one on any person are still of lifelong value. I did not exercise the tricks and techniques but just being aware of them, to understand and know they were there helped me keep my life stress free. I still like to see the good in people, but it doesn't hurt to know that others might be collecting information for a second file as well.
Reflection: Being naïve and inexperienced I used to get shivers when I used to hear some of Mr. D's stories and the lessons they had in them. I couldn't believe how the real world could be like that... I hoped his stories were reserved for isolated cases. But as the years passed, and I matured, I realized that "The Second Files" are the reserved weapons in the business world's complex Art of War and they have no expiration date. The degree to which they are used depends on how far out of line the other party is with the establishment, how much of a threat the party causes on the ruling Janata or how envious some people are of the person's success. These "Second Files" are also kept by seasoned personnel on the establishments they work for, and when the time comes, they often walk away with handsome gift packages even if they lose the battle.
*There was a background story behind that statement which will be the subject of future Friday Reflection.
Story Line: Coincidence or not but our grandsons were born in 2012, 2014 and 2016, the winning seasons of the San Francisco Giants. Little did I know how important a role they will play for me in immersing and enjoying the new phase of my life.
Our children were born in the beginning and prime stages of my career, respectively. For me, those years were spent on long hours at work and a lot of travel. So now, in my later years, when I listen to our children and my wife talk about all of the wonderful things they used to do, I feel that I missed out on some great times.
I believe my grandsons came into my life, now that I'm retired, as a second chance to make up for that lost time. The oldest introduced me to "Finding Nemo". The first time I watched it with him I could not help but point out how important it is to listen to your parents so as not to get in trouble like Nemo did. The youngster did not seem to acknowledge my preaching and he kept insisting that we go on with the rest of the show and enjoy the thrill of it. Since that day I have watched the film 17 times with him. I have enjoyed it immensely.
A few months ago the middle one insisted that I change his diaper. So for the first time (yes for the first time- some may say "shame on you" for this, I know) I changed a baby's diaper, with my wife guided me through each step of the way of course. I learned that Precision and Accuracy are of utmost importance in this process. Improper installation can result in high P/T, precision to tolerance (of my wife) ratio. I am proud to say that the kid was very happy with the outcome and the next time around even insisted that I change it alone without any help. After some convincing, we found a middle ground and my wife supervised my work from a distance. I think I must have done a good enough job because now he insists that I have no supervision at all and asks everyone to leave the room so I can perform the diaper change on my own. I have to say that it has boosted my confidence and for a moment I felt very happy about being a preferred supplier for the job, but then I got a bit worried that the kid does not yet understand the sole supplier risks I may inevitably pose. Anyway, my son's words came to mind, "Dad, home is not work. Enjoy the flow of life". So I moved on.
Watching the youngest one totally immersed in enjoying his milk while I am holding his bottle has been yet another experience. He takes his time, takes pauses in between, erases any thoughts of "RAPID" from my mind and has taught me to enjoy the experience. And finally, the process of burping him on my shoulder and the feeling in my heart of holding him is something hard to describe in words.
When the older one and the middle one have disputes about sharing toys, and I notice the lack of collaboration as the root cause, the memories of my work days return. The company had to hire special consultants and spend millions of dollars in of-site summits and week-long retreats in an appeal to senior executives to work together, cooperate, and get into the spirit of team-work (aka collaboration). But with these young souls I notice that they can be persuaded with patience and a few minutes work without incurring any major expenses. The more I interact with them the more I learn the value of explaining the "Why" of things, and though it may take some patience and time to explain on my part, I have found it works better than exercising authority and order them to do it (What, Where, Who, When things). I guess it is "Compliance" vs "Choice" scenario.
Reflection: There are so many things I am learning by interacting with and watching these young kids. Walking and listening to them telling me about flowers and lizards, waiting early on Thursdays mornings for the garbage trucks (which seems to make garbage truck guys very happy as there is someone excited and waiting at the curb to acknowledge and appreciate their work), there's the stories about sea creatures and dinosaurs, and the lingering fragrance of the spilled milk on the shirts. It's living in the moment, with no distractions of work or other things, and it is an amazing feeling. I now know what I had been missing all those years ago.
James Gannon: [referring to Dr. Pine, Prof. Stone's boyfriend] So he's got more degrees than a thermometer, so he speaks seven languages, so he's read every book. So what? The important thing is he's had no experience. He didn't start at the bottom and work up. That's the only way you can learn.
Erica Stone: As my father used to say, a reporter has to do a lot of sweating before he earns the right to perspire.
James Gannon: How could you give up a real newspaper job for teaching? Erica Stone: Well, that's a very good question, Mr. Gallagher. Maybe for the same reason that occasionally a musician wants to be a conductor, he wants to hear a hundred people play music the way he hears it.
Erica Stone: Newspapers can't compete in reporting what happened any more, but they can and should tell the public why it happened.
James Gannon: [providing an impromptu lesson to Barney] By the way, you heard about it, didn't you?
James Gannon: Found him dead.
Barney Kovac: No kidding. When?
James Gannon: Two minutes ago.
Barney Kovac: Where did they find him?
James Gannon: In his office.
Barney Kovac: What did happen?
James Gannon: Some dame shot him.
James Gannon: Some dame sho... Why?
James Gannon: Barney, you have just asked me six very important questions: who, what, where, when, how, and why. That's what every news story should answer.
Story Line: * Source: Does your child feel safe with you? by Natasha Badhwar in livemint.
Most people of my generation have stories from their childhood when they strayed away from their parents in a public place and were lost for some time.
Reflection: I saw this excellent post on Facebook by a very good friend, Dr. Hema Hirlekar, from my college days in Bombay and felt it was worth sharing. Even though most of the readers may not have experienced such issues, this type of behavior trap is not culture specific; I have seen it in many places around the world; on the overpass in Hongkong, on the street in Paris and Fantasyland in Disneyland. Over the years some friends and I have shared our own surrenders to Fear giving illusion of control and eventually resulting in failures.
It is difficult to change past but if in anyway this article can help change even one person's future then it will be worthwhile.
Remembering last week's reflection's PTP with slight addition in parenthesis.
Kill the Weeds or Grow the Grass?
My neighbor surveyed his precious lawn, the lawn he had lavished hard work on since he bought his home. His labor and attention to detail had provided him with a beautiful, flawless expanse of grass for many years, and it was a great source of pride for him, but now the unthinkable had happened. His yard had been invaded by ugly weeds. He despised the newcomers and swore vengeance upon them. For this task, he did his research and identified the best, most experienced and most knowledgeable garden expert in the entire area.
The expert performed a full analysis: he noted the soil and the climate, the sun exposure and watering cycle, the type and condition of the grass, the type and condition of the weeds, how deep their roots went, how dense they were in the lawn, etc. In short, after a full day of observation, measurement, and research, he was able to provide the homeowner with a full Problem Description. The owner listened intently, looking forward to the imminent destruction of the trespassers.
"Well, I can come in here with some chemicals and kill the weeds," was the reply. "They'll be dead in no time. Of course, that will weaken the grass a bit too. It will take awhile to recover, and during that time it will be more susceptible to other types of weeds and diseases. It will take a lot of extra effort to get it back to where it was before the weeds moved in.
"Or, I can grow the grass. I can simulate the lawn to greater health, and over time it will get so strong it will simply crowd the weeds out and they'll be gone. That will certainly take longer than the chemicals would to get rid of the weeds, but you'll have a much healthier lawn when I'm done, and it will certainly be more resistant to other problems.
Engineers, through training and habit, spend most of their time fixing problems (killing the weeds); indeed for many that's where the satisfaction of the job is: "I'm a problem solver." But how many of them spend time thinking about how to grow the grass (improve the processes and systems)? If you're a manager, do you ask your people to spend part of their time growing the grass, or are you happiest when they're busy killing the weeds because the results are so quick and easy to advertise? Excellence only comes through patient improvement over the long term.
Point to Ponder: "Dad, you seriously need therapy for Control and Fear (FMEA). The home is not a corporation. You need to learn to let go and enjoy the way things flow in life." My children's pleas to me during my first year in retirement. I guess the plea was indirectly on behalf of my wife too.
Recently, a retired friend from Oregon paid a visit to my place. Both of us being retired, and having some time on our hands, decided to make a quick day trip to Monterey. As we drove down the coast, we started talking about the first fifteen months of this new phase in our lives.
My friend had already been very active in his church during his career and retired early to engage more deeply in service. Seeing his commitment, the church members asked him to serve as a trustee and elected him as chairman of the board.
Even before assuming the position, he had noticed that the church could improve some of its systems and procedures. The resulting LEAN practices could bring better utilization of resources (Time, Money People, etc.) to serve the mission and agenda of the church.
My friend saw the need for a performance management system. Subsequently, he asked the pastor to set goals for the church for the coming year. He also made it clear that there would be periodic performance reviews. This left pastor wondering: Performance Management System in the place of worship and service? Who are we to judge? Let the Lord decide. Right?
Another thing he noticed that the time for the presentations and talks by members during various forums could vary enormously. So he proposed 'The Crisp and Clear Communication' system, something that he had learned during his time in the corporate world. Each presenter was to get 300 seconds (five minutes) to present their idea, proposal, and whatever else it was that they wanted to communicate.
During the inauguration of this new system, when the lead presenter got up to talk, my friend noticed that she had a big stack of papers (17 pages to be exact) in her hands. At the 300 seconds mark, the presenter had progressed to only an early part of the stack, so my friend had to intervene.
"Time is up," he bellowed.
The audience was stunned. Prior to my friend's arrival, it seems time was endless.
I could relate as my mother had told me a similar story from the senior center she attends. One high-tech donor had introduced a similar system in the community group and created a big uproar. The seniors felt insulted - interrupted by a youngster who did not understand the cultural norms and a show of proper respect.
Reflection: As my friend and I reached our intermediate stop of Mission San Juan Bautista I reflected on the first 43 miles of conversation. So many things that we learn during our working years can be very helpful in the real world, not to forget so many things we did not learn from the real world could have been more helpful in the corporate world. Knowing what to apply and when is the key to the peace of mind and happiness. The process of learning new things and unlearning some old practices has just begun. I will share my personal experiences and learnings in the future reflections.
In serenity of the mission courtyard I prayed for the success of my friend's well-meaning efforts to bring more efficiency in his church.