starting september 2013, my husband and i embarked on a 6th month tour around north america. some people doubted our large goal and how it would come to fruition but (i was totally one of them initially) but…we did it! and now it is over and it's weird and sad and relieving and great and so many emotions (thank goodness i'm not PMSing because this would probably be a whole lot more emotional).
here we are leaving houston for our first leg of the tour (10 weeks on the road with no coming home aka wearing the same things over and over. curious as to what the heck i packed? here it is).
lesson 1: when working with your significant other, you must both agree to always put your marriage and relationship before business. always.
if you've been following along with our journey, you have read that i struggle with anxiety and let me tell you…being on the road will cause some 'flare-ups' of this initially. there were times when i was really struggling and my husband always made me feel cared for and said "your health, happiness and our relationship is way more important than anything else that we do and if this is too much for you, i understand and let's make it better." sometimes i just needed that reminder that everything we do is a choice and if we don't like our circumstances, we are capable of changing them.
i decided to bring a little hugging statue that my soulfriend Lindsey and i both have. it used to sit on my nightstand at home so by bringing it with me it felt a little more like home. i also really like the holidays so when i could, i would buy inexpensive festive things that made me feel better about missing home when hopping from a different hotel every night.
eating on the road isn't the healthiest, even when you strive for choosing the healthy options. trust me, after about 4 fast food salads you won't be able to choke back that rubbery chicken for long. it's also hard because our workshops were typically from 6:30-8:30pm so we would eat around 4:30pm to let the food digest and then be ravenous at 9:30pm once we wrapped everything up. sometimes we ate donuts for dinner, which were delicious at the time but less fun as your pants grew tighter. our mouths are open in anticipation for eating the donut in one whole bite.
it's so much easier when you can motivate one another to work out together. there is a sense of guilt when you stay in the hotel room while your husband is working out and all you are doing is watching Maury and eating skittles. you will always feel better even if only working out for 20 minutes than if you did nothing so make it a priority. those donuts aren't going to burn themselves off!
since we were putting on so many workshops, after each and every one we would review my notes, the amount of resources sold and what worked/what didn't and strive to make the next event even better based off feedback. change up the way you present, fix your handouts, work on a stronger closing because you can always be improving. thank goodness i shaved my armpits that day otherwise the picture below would be a whole lot scarier!
towards the end of our tour i found myself getting more comfortable with traveling (though i think i will always want to be at the airport 2 hours before my flight leaves), being on the move and finally found exploring all the cities more on the end of 'exciting' rather than 'omg-i am so-overwhelmed.' once i started to feel these thing, my confidence increased as well. i popped up on stage more frequently and found my own voice to be stronger.
blogging along the way was great but my husband and i would take time on our plane rides to write down all the neat things we do, challenges we faced and organize our photos. some may think i'm an over-sharer on this thing but believe me…we have some stories and we want to remember those. also, how else would i ever remember the texas waffle in lubbock!
this allows you to use one bed as an essential shelf and you can also eat whatever you want on it while keeping your 'sleeping' bed pristine. it definitely helped our relationship because it's not fun to get in a spat over me eating cookies and/or chips in bed.
this can be very tricky particularly when you don't really have any other place to go except the lobby of a hotel vs. hotel room but take it. as in love and as healthy of a relationship that you may be in, everyone needs time apart. we found that even taking 30-60 minutes to just be on our own was huge and helped us not annoy each other as much since we were truly together 24/7.
this one is so important. people will say things, both positive and negative and you have got to know yourself well enough not to let either side effect you. also, be authentic and genuine because a) it's way more fun to be yourself and b) people totally know when you aren't and it's awkward.
we learned an incredible amount lessons through this experience and thank you to the thousands of people who attended our workshops and the hundreds of volunteers that helped make the events possible! i also have to thank my husband for being not only a dreamer but a do-er and having the patience of 7 people as i learned many of these lessons.
stay tuned for updates soon because we have some fun things up our sleeves!
the new wifestyle: do things that challenge you and be conscious of the transformations that occur when you do.
1) did you attend one of our workshops? if so-what city!
2) do you take a lot of photos to remember events in your life? or maybe what you ate for lunch?
3) what lessons have you learned lately?
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2. Probably too many- this will increase as you have children.
3. patience. it's always patience.
yay! so great to see you in vancouver Paula! oh man i can't even imagine how crazy i'll be with photos once kids enter the picture 🙂 thanks so much for reading Paula and for your support along the way-mucho appreciated lady!
haha yes you can absolutely call him Ravery, Carlen 🙂 he always responds to Ryan, Rave, hey you and my boo (well maybe i'll just call him that last one). SO excited that you have started a blog! excited to check it out and glad i could provide a small spark to help get your blog rolling-that made my day!
1) Loved you guys in Fort Lauderdale!
2) I love people pics,can't get enough! Grandkids and kids and family. Oh my!
3) This year I will be as encouraging, supportive and kind to myself as I am to others!
ohhh man we had some fun with you guys in Ft Lauderdale even if it was 'cold' ha! thanks for coming out Fred 🙂 i am seeing a trend here with the photos increasing as the kids and grandkids come into play-that's great! LOVE what you said about being as kind and encouraging to YOURSELF as you are to others-i like that. i am going to do that too.
2. I don't take as many pictures as I probably should.
3. What have I learned? I'd like to do a shout out to Ryan about his advice about giving evaluations (he did this right after the evaluation contest): As an evaluator, give the speech giver a choice between hearing a traditional evaluation (using the sandwich method) or the Ryan Avery method (which of course I explained to them was to focus on their speaking style strengths – giving them specific examples to illustrate each point).
Does that make sense? FYI – I did a shout out about Ryan today at our toastmaster club! I was an evaluator and gave the speaker a choice between a traditional evaluation and a "Ryan Avery" evaluation, and the speaker chose the "Ryan Avery" method!
wooohoo! you did an outstanding job Maryann and congrats again on the evaluation contest! we had such a blast at your conference, particularly the face cutouts of various people-ha! that's a great lesson you've learned-i've shared it with Ryan and he saids "oh wow that's awesome! thanks:) " love that you are giving people the choice on what type of evaluation they would like!
1. Does Denver count after our Spring Conference.
2. I love taking pictures. I have loved seeing pictures I took of friends on their Facebook Movie!
3. Take time to dance and enjoy every minute.
denver totally counts and is even slightly more special because it was part of our 'test workshops' (and plus…you know denver holds a special place in my heart). those facebook movies are pretty cool-though i'd be curious to see how they pulled the various pictures because i have some random ones on mine! 'take time to dance' made me smile and glad you are enjoying every minute!!!
You know that little Christmas tree you had in your car? I love that picture. You posted it today, and I remember when you first posted that picture, too, and it really struck a chord with me. Something about that picture was very comforting to me and told a big story even without words about caring for each other. I enjoyed all of your "Lessons Learned" and these can apply to many husband-and-wife traveling scenarios.
oh June that brings me much happiness to hear that that photo of the little christmas tree brings you comfort 🙂 that is one of the best surprises he's given me and it too showed me how much cared by actions instead of words. i will treasure that for a lifetime. thanks so much for being a reader from the start June and i hope you are doing great!
1) Nope. But I saw you just before the tour.
2) I'm not good with photos. I always forget because I'm too busy being in the moment. Then later I think, "Darn it! I'll never get that moment back!" But I heard it happens a lot the other direction as well.
3) When people are jerks, be super nice to them. Being a jerk to a jerk doesn't make them feel bad at all. But doing something super nice for them, makes them feel pretty bad about being a jerk in the first place.
2) I do take photos of both. I feel like my photo album is used as more of a timeline memory of what happened to me over the year or years.
3) Even problems you thought were HUGE at the time they came about, will either 1) work themselves out, 2) you will (in the words of Ryan's speech) find a way to "Push Past It" or 3) both.
wooohoo! so great to see you in the 'couve (am i allowed to call it that? that's what we refer to Vancouver, WA). smart to use the photos as a timeline-i think i do that too with mine 🙂 yeeees push past it and i'm glad you found those lessons to be true Vivien!
#3 is its not easy or wise to speak your mind. Sometimes it's better to have a shut lip and deal with the issue yourself by yourself.