Boss Moves: Surviving the Office Holiday Party
It can be awkward AF, but not if you have a plan.
By Jennifer Romolini
Daiana Ruiz
Dear Boss,
I've just been invited to my work holiday party. We're a big company and it's at a giant bar/club, but there's no "plus one" allowed. I've never been to one of these company events before and, without having a date or friend as a buffer, I'm nervous about how to behave. What do I wear? Do I talk to my boss? Can I drink? Do I dance? What if I say something stupid? To be honest, the whole thing is bringing me so much anxiety and I'd kind of rather stay home.
— Feeling Grinchy
Oh, Grinchy.
You are not wrong that holiday parties can be awkward AF — you're in a new context with people with whom you spend a great deal of time, but often hardly know. It's a bizarre social landscape to navigate and it requires a plan.
The bad news is, unless you have lost a limb or an equivalent family member, you must attend. Your bosses think of the annual holiday celebration as a gift — and you can't look this gift horse/reindeer in the mouth without seeming ungrateful or extremely weird.
The good news is, you can have fun at this party! Just a different kind of fun than you might be used to at night, around alcohol. You can have the kind of fun you'd have at a child's daytime birthday party. Or at a bat mitzvah. Or your grandparents' 50th anniversary soiree. This is mild fun. This is fun with boundaries. This is not fly-the-freak-flag times. It's an opportunity to talk to work people you don't get to talk to every day — use it, don't huddle up with your best work friend. Instead, branch out, ask questions, make a positive impression on people whose working style you like and people you care to know.
Dance if you want, and wear what you want! But dance the way you would at a middle school dance, where your mom's a chaperone. (You know what that means, right? I don't have to tell you that you should not grind at the office holiday party.) And make sure to remember that even though you're going to a club, you're not going to da club.
If you want to drink at the office party, you should drink at the office party. You should try VERY HARD to not be the drunkest person at the party, or the last person at the party, and definitely not both, because then you might spontaneously burst into flames. Conversationally, keep things positive and light: At no time during any office holiday party should you confess your truth to your boss, or confess your feelings to your office crush. You should not sidle up to a senior executive and spill a company secret, nor pitch an idea you've been burning to pitch. You should not get beer bravery and become the employee you've always wanted to be at the office party, all booze-breath and courage.
If you are the kind of healthy social drinker who can trust yourself to avoid all of these things, then by all means DRANK at the office party! But for the rest of us, my advice is: Head to the office holiday party with a drink maximum and an exit strategy. Identify the important people you want to talk to at the party, talk to them before the alcohol kicks in, fill up on satay/mini burgers/canapés/the elegant dinner you could not have afforded otherwise. Say gracious "thank you"s to the hosts of the party. Then BOUNCE. Jet the fuck out of there, meet some trusted friends, drink all the drinks somewhere else, sing some karaoke, gossip about the office holiday party, and do you right.
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