I was struck by this comment in an Ask Amy advice column on Leap Day, February 29, 2012. The column ran in the Boston Herald.
Amy Dickinson is responding to an upset bride who wrote for advice about a long-time "friend" who assumed he would be invited to her overseas and expensive wedding. She can't include him and was looking for some advice about how to inform this presumptuous person that the guest list was very limited and he would not make the cut.
From my experience, this advice is applicable when one is dealing with cancer and to much of life. It's easy when you are not feeling well, or are concerned about the suffering your family is experiencing because of your illness, or are eager to comply with the well-meaning requests of friends to go along with requests and recommendations.
A side benefit of having cancer is taking the opportunity to heed your own heart and not be, to use Amy's words, "bullied, persuaded or 'guilted'" into doing something that doesn't feel right.
I am still working on that, and I trust you take all of my recommendations with a grain of salt (and a couple grains of pepper!).