Monday, November 5, 2018, 07:02 AM
Good Morning, !
Today is Monday, November 5
Here is a domain name you can use!
4mylove.com
You can buy that domain name for $50
Today's Bonehead Award:
Suspect arrested after striking 10 vehicles,
climbing onto roof of "Five Guys" to hide
Today, November 5 in
1605 The "Gunpowder Plot" attempted by Guy Fawkes failed when he
was captured before he could blow up the English Parliament. Guy
Fawkes Day is celebrated every November 5th in Britain to
celebrate his failure to blow up all the members of Parliament
and King James I.
More of today in history at History
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter,
please donate what you can!
About the time we think we can make ends meet,
somebody moves the ends.
--- Herbert Hoover (1874 - 1964)
A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at
his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly.  "She's hired a new
secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that.  Is she blonde, redhead or
brunette?"
"Neither, He grandfather is bald."
If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!
Bumper Stickers from 20 years ago:
If that phone was up your butt,
maybe you could drive better!
Don't be sexist, broads hate that.
Saw it... Wanted it... Had a fit... Got it!
Constipated people don't give a crap.
Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
My kid got your honor roll student pregnant.
If you can read this... I lost my trailer.
Your just jealous cause the voices
are only talking to me.
I have the body of a God.... Buddha.
So many pedestrians...so little time.
Eat right, exercise, die anyway!
Illiterate...Write for help.
Cover me... I'm changing lanes.
Boldly going nowhere.
Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel.
Honk if anything falls off.
If we quit voting, will they all go away ?
Heart attacks:
God's revenge for dieting.
A famed English explorer was invited to Dartmouth to tell
of his adventures in the African jungle.
"Can you imagine," he demanded, "people so primitive that
they love to eat the embryo of certain birds, and slices
from the belly of certain animals? And grind up grass seed,
make it into a paste, burn it over a fire, then smear it with
a greasy mess they extract from the mammary fluid of certain
other animals?"
When the students looked startled by such barbarism, the
explorer added softly, "What I've been describing, of course,
is a breakfast of bacon and eggs and buttered toast."
has been earned by
James Edward Baumann, 37
Stafford,
A man wanted in three jurisdictions was arrested Monday at
Stafford Marketplace after striking ten vehicles before climbing
onto the roof of a Five Guys restaurant and hiding in an air
conditioning unit.
On Monday shortly before 10 a.m., deputies responded to reports
of multiple vehicle accidents near the Bank of America at
Stafford Marketplace.
Deputies determined that the driver of a Ford pick-up truck
hauling a trailer holding another pickup truck crashed into the
vehicles, four of which were occupied when struck.
Both of the pick-up trucks later found to be stolen.
Four subjects were transported to the hospital with non-life
threatening injuries.
After striking the vehicles, the subject, who was intoxicated,
scaled a  metal pipe alongside a building and climbed onto the
roof of a Five Guys restaurant where he was found hiding in an
air conditioning unit.
The suspect, James Edward Baumann, 37, was wanted in three
jurisdictions�Stafford County, Prince William County, and
Spotsylvania County.
Baumann was incarcerated at Rappahannock Regional Jail without
bond on his outstanding warrants.
The investigation is ongoing and additional charges are pending.
Re: SSH
What exactly is SSH?
A program I am trying to buy, requires that I have SSH access.
However, my web host tells me that I don't need it and would
not know how to use it, even if I had it. So, what is it and
SSH is secure access to the server command line, just like
Telnet used to be until about 25 years ago. The main
difference is that SSH is securely encrypted and can't be
intercepted.
It is not difficult to use, and programs, that require it, are
very specific and detailed about what you need to do.
Usually they even give you the exact command to type
or paste to the command line.
Then you type that in and hit Enter.
No big deal at all.
Web hosting is often like an MLM pyramid. The farther down
you are, the fewer rights and privileges you have. When you
don't get SSH, but instead get a snotty reply implying that
you would not know how to use it, then you know you have hit
rock bottom, and it's time to move up a few levels.
The bare command line can be a bit intimidating to some
people, but at our level, for example, we explain what each
command does, and step you through it while connected to
you via Skype chat. Sure, it takes a bit more time, but you
learn, and next time you know how to do it yourself.
Automatically move ALL your settings and programs.
No need to re-install them.
The only mover recommended by Intel and Microsoft.
>From Jean
It�s the men�s turn to make wisecracks!
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10
years.  But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was
Received an e-mail today from a "bored housewife 32, looking for
some action!"  I've sent her my ironing; that'll keep her busy!
The wife's been hinting she wants something black and lacy for
her birthday.  So I bought her a pair of football boots!
Growing up with a dyslexic father had its advantages.  Whenever
he caught me swearing, he used to wash my mouth out with soup!
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while
she cooked the dinner, so I took the batteries out of the smoke
alarm!
Anyone have an owner's manual for a wife?  Mine's giving off a
terrible whining noise!
My wife apologized for the first time ever today.  She said she's
sorry she ever married me!
Does anyone know how long you cook these "boil in the bag fish"
that you win at the fun fair?
My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side,
so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day
for no reason!
Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a
woman's sex drive by 90 percent.  It's called wedding cake!
Things turned really ugly at my house last night.  The wife
removed her makeup!
My wife shouted at me this morning for not opening the car door
for her.  I would have, but I was too busy swimming to the
surface!
If you can help with the cost of the
Bubba was arrested for selling home-stilled whiskey.
His lawyer put him on the stand and asked the jurors
to look carefully at his client.
"Now, Ladies and Gentleman of the jury," concluded the
lawyer, "you've looked carefully at the defendant.
"Can you sit there in the jury and honestly believe
that if my client had ANY whiskey he would sell it?"
He was acquitted.
Thriftyfun.com
Ecological Holiday Parties
If you purchase some inexpensive, reusable plastic plates,
cups, and use your own utensils, you will have a much more
ecological party that relying on disposable plates and cups.
You also will be able to use them year after year, which will
save you money.
You can also go to a garage sale and buy proper plates
and cups and glasses for less than the plastic ware costs.
They don't take much more room to store till next year.
Tip provided by Thriftyfun.com
The Weather Channel�s New Green Screen Tech is Impressive
Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress,
he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching
post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him
trained in no time."
I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained"
our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited
him outdoors to teach him a lesson.
The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he
wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.
Ophelia Dingbatter's
NewsNo sermon and not suitable for church, just
jokes and fun for grownups.
Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request.
We went to the movies the other night. I sat in an aisle seat,
as I usually do, because it feels a little roomier. Just as the
feature was about to start, a Millenial from the center
of the row got up and started working her way out.
"Excuse me. Sorry! Oops. Excuse me, pardon me, gotta
hurry. Oops! Excuse me."
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her
and I was a little impatient, so I said, "Couldn't you have
done this a little earlier?"
"No!" she said in a loud whisper.
"The 'Turn Off Your Cell Phone, Please' message just flashed
up on the screen and mine is out in the car."
Today November 5 in
1844 In California, a grizzly bear underwent a successful
cataract operation at the Zoological Garden.
1872 In the U.S., Susan B. Anthony was fined $100 for attempting
to vote in the presidential election. She never paid the fine.
1895 George B. Selden received the first U.S. patent for an
automobile. He sold the rights for $200,000 four years later.
1911 Italy officially annexed Tripoli.
1935 The game "Monopoly" was introduced by Parker Brothers
1940 U.S. President Franklin Roosevelt won an unprecedented third
term in office.
1944 Lord Moyne, a British official, was assassinated by the
Zionist Stern gang in Cairo, Egypt.
1946 John F. Kennedy was elected to the U.S. House of
Representatives at the age of 29.
1955 The Vienna State Opera House in Austria formally reopened
ten years after WWII.
1956 British and French forces began landing in Egypt during the
Suez Canal Crisis. A cease-fire was declared 2 days later.
1963 Archaeologists found the remains of a Viking settlement at
L'Anse aux Meadows, Newfoundland.
1967 In Moscow, the Ostankino Tower opened. It was the world's
tallest free-standing structure for nine years.
1974 Ella T. Grasso was elected governor of Connecticut. She was
the first woman in the U.S. to win a governorship without
succeeding her husband.
1984 The U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the NFL had exceeded
antitrust limits in attempting to stop the Oakland Raiders from
moving to Los Angeles.
1986 The White House reaffirmed the U.S. ban on the sale of
weapons to Iran.
1987 In South Africa, Goban Mbeki was released after serving 24
years in the Robben Island prison. He had been sentenced to life
for treason against the white minority government of South
1998 Scientists published a genetic study that showed strong
evidence that Thomas Jefferson fathered at least one child (Eston
Hemings) of his slave, Sally Hemings.
1990 Rabbi Meir Kahane, founder of the Kach movement, was shot to
death after a speech at a New York Hotel. His assassin, Egyptian
El Sayyid, was later convicted of the murder and was sentenced to
life in prison for his part in the World Trade Center bombing.
1992 Malice Green, a black motorist, was beaten to death in
Detroit during a struggle with police. Two officers were later
convicted in his death and sentenced to prison.
1994 Former U.S. President Reagan announced that he had
Alzheimer's disease.
1994 George Foreman, 45, became boxing's oldest heavyweight
champion when he knocked out Michael Moorer in the 10th round of
their WBA fight in Las Vegas, NV.
1998 In the U.S., Chairman Henry Hyde of the Judiciary Committee
asked President Clinton to answer 81 questions for the House
impeachment inquiry.
1998 The U.N. announced that the Taliban militia had killed up to
5,000 civilians in a takeover of an Afghani town.
1999 A 12-day conference on global warming, attended by delegates
from 170 nations, ended in Bonn, Germany.
1999 Dennis Rodman (NBA) and Carmen Electra were both arrested
and charged with battery and domestic violence in a hotel in
Miami Beach, FL.
1999 U.S. District Judge Thomas Penfield Jackson ruled that
Microsoft Corp. enjoyed "monopoly power".
2001 It was announced that European aircraft manufacturer Airbus
and Dubai-based Emirates airlines set up a joint venture
specializing in airline services.
2009 At Fort Hood, near Kileen, TX, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13
people and wounded 30 others. He is still sitting in jail while
lawyers fight against his ordered execution.
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