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Jussie Smollett In Second Racist And Homophobic Attack
Jussie Smollett, the former actor who used to star in 'Empire' before an alleged racist and homophobic attack left him scared to tell the truth, has suffered a second racist and homophobic attack, which was every bit as terrifying - if not more - tha...
Boris Johnson Has Fucking Big Row With Girlfriend
The new Tory leader-elect, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, has had a steaming, great fucking row with his girlfriend, Carrie Symonds, at her London home, say neighbours. Johnson and Symonds were said to be arguing like 'cat and dog' during the...
Crack Cocaine Worth 75p Seized In Drugs Haul
Police have made a drugs bust in the northern port city of Hull, and believe they may have smashed a vital cog in the distribution of narcotics in East Yorkshire. A 24-year-old man riding a decrepit, old bicycle through the Orchard Park council es...
Police admit facial recognition system 'does not recognise thieves'
There is widespread embarrassment across the UK's police forces after a £12 billion facial recognition system was found to be unable to detect known criminals. The system stores key facial characteristics such as the distance between the eyes and...
Young Man's Death Deemed Non-Tragic Suicide
After 22-year-old Jake Pruitt of Queens, New York, was found dead in his bathtub, his wrists slit and bloody, police officers officially deemed his death a non-tragic suicide. "He really didn't have much going for him," said New York Police Chief...
Murder Mystery In Country House Has Police Baffled
A murder mystery at a sprawling country mansion has left police completely baffled, and desperately trying to find clues as to what happened and why. The murder took place at Tudor Mansion, deep in the Hampshire countryside, and detectives drafted...
Julian Assange Has Escaped From Custody
Julian Assange, the man who was arrested by British police at the Ecuador Embassy in London on Thursday, has slipped past his captors and has miraculously escaped. You might say, "there has been a leak". Mr. Assange was being detained at a poli...
Man Caught Urinating In Gent's Public Toilets
Police were called to an incident at Paddington Station in London at the weekend, when a 28-year-old man was arrested for urinating in a public place - the Gentlemen's conveniences located on Platform 1. Guy Court, 28, was apprehended shortly afte...
Police Squad Trucks To 'Take Out' Vehicles Whose Drivers Are On Their Mobile Phones
The UK High Commissioner of Police has spoken to reporters about a new initiative that will, hopefully, clean-up Britain's roads, and wipe out drivers who use their mobile phones whilst behind the wheel. Eric Rambo told journalists that years' of...
Send This to Your Local Police to Let Them Know That Your Aunt Janice Wants 1 Million Dollars Or You Get It!
We're all about helping you, giving you tips and tricks on commonly complicated things to make them easy, simple and fun, and, of course, this is no different. This article ensures that the next time your crazy Aunt Janice holds you hostage, demandin...
Police Still Searching For 35-Year-Old Powerlifter
Midwest. Local police and authorities in Apple County, Wisconsin are still searching for 35-year-old powerlifter, Mike Lane, who was reported as "missing" earlier this month. On Tuesday, March 5th, the 6-foot tall, 285-pound, 'ripped' weightlif...
Cat Attack Caught On Video
A series of incidents in Denver involving a seemingly deranged cat is a step nearer to being solved tonight, after yet another unprovoked attack on a young child was caught on video. The cat, a black one, apparently lays in wait in bushes or long...
Trump Issues Executive Order Forming "The Comedy Police"
President Trump today went before the cameras in the White House to announce a new police strike force. He claims its main purpose will be to defend him against collusion between the left and SNL. "Today I'm taking action against factions who wou...
Jussie Smollett claims he was assaulted by Chicago PD
Chicago, IL - Jussie Smollett, the disgraced 'Empire' actor, has now claimed that while he was in Chicago PD custody, he was brutally assaulted and left smelling of hazelnuts. Smollett was released on $100,000.00 bail and immediately related hi...
Police Car Chase Was Strictly In Accordance With Traffic Laws
A police car involved in a daring high-speed chase with another car that had been stolen by criminals last night, was driven completely in accordance with the rules of the road, as specified within the UK Traffic Laws. The 'chase', in Peckham, Lon...
Liam Neeson Quits Acting To Join Police
Liam Neeson, the Hollywood actor superstar, the veteran of more than a hundred movies, and Oscar-nominee for his latest film 'Cold Pursuit', has announced his intention to quit the silver screen, and to join the police force. Neeson, 66, said that...
Man has sex sessions with own wife
Police are probing the alleged cover-up of a man suspected of having sex with his own wife for more than thirty years. Special constables have received reports that Mr James Rum P. Pumpi, 53, and his wife Edith Rum P. Pumpi, 51, from Carlisle, ha...
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