From Joyce Meyer’s book, Beauty for Ashes:
Abuse leaves a person emotionally handicapped, unable to maintain healthy, lasting relationship. “I functioned in society. I worked. But the only time I didn’t hate myself was when I was working toward some personal goal which I thought would provide me a sense of self worth.”
Abused people often gather addictions. Alcohol and drugs spending and hoarding money; and anorexia, bulimia, and obesity caused by gluttony are the most common addictions. However, there are other addictions such as
- feeling addictions including rage, sadness, fear, excessive excitement, religious righteousness, joy fixation, etc.;
- thought addictions include worry, non-stop talking, lustful thoughts, and an unsettled mind (never at rest, always figuring out what to say, what to do, and how to react);
- activity addictions include work, sports, reading, gambling, exercise, television, and excessive pets;
- and will addictions include controlling and caretaking.
Many people from abusive dysfunctional backgrounds cannot maintain healthy, lasting relationship because either they don’t know how to receive love or they place an unbalanced demand on their partners to give what they cannot give.
We are not always delivered from our distress at the precise moment we ask.
- Don’t be afraid of pain. The more you resist it, the more you increase its effect upon you. Don’t fight it. Allow it to accomplish its purpose. Spending your lifetime trying to avoid pain is more painful than living normally and dealing with each issue as it arises.
- Shame is normal and healthy. Ask for forgiveness and move on. “Walls or bridges, the choice is yours.”
If you want to get over a problem, stop talking about it. Do what you can and move on.