Graphic by Angela Zheng
Group distinctions, and the separation of people by identity, are sometimes suggested to be divisive and contrary to the idea of progress. Why divide by specific identity when you can connect through shared humanity? What fails to be recognized is the empowering nature of being around those who relate to the same brand of marginalization (the treatment of a group as insignificant or peripheral) that you relate to. Uniting to fortify an already threatened group is a mode of survival, not a ploy to further separate different identities. Within the scope of queerness, communal connections allow for a simultaneous recognition of similar identities and an acquisition of understanding how individuals lives differ within the same identity.
So how does “the queer community” as a whole give precedent to all identities and allow for intercommunal relationships? Within the queer community, there is the bisexual community, the trans community, the genderqueer community, and so many more. Even within the subgroup of the bisexual community, there is the bisexual women community, the bisexual trans community, etc. This variation creates many overlapping communities with different goals. Different goals can lead to even smaller groups that may find solidarity in the specific form of marginalization. For example, black trans women face an unprecedented amount of violence for their particular identity and can advocate for their specific subgroup and oppression. These delineations give strength to small subgroups that are often neglected by popular media and are considered “less important” than other identities that are given stronger precedent in popular culture. So while bisexual genderqueer people are ignored by mainstream America, within that subgroup, there is a sense of community and connection that others don’t recognize. There is power in similarity, and that likeness is important for recognition of similar struggles and organization towards communal goals. The exclusivity of a queer subgroup doesn’t exist to exclude those without that identity; rather, it fortifies that identity to exist with more strength in a world that represents the white and the straight and the cis and the male before it does anyone else.
Those intercommunal bonds are not just effective on a group level; they are just as important on a personal level. This is where queer friendships come in, to bridge the gaps between queer identities and to make the queer community more inclusive for all types of marginalization. It is through human connection and a willingness to recognize one’s own privilege that a breakdown of barriers and a building of bridges between different types of queerness occurs. The struggles of a gay trans person and a cis bisexual person are vastly different (not even taking into account individual personal variances or systemic differences, i.e. race or ability status), and those differences may seem insurmountable between two strangers. However, common ground is found through friendship and a willingness to look outside our own scopes of the world.
The connections I have found with other queer people have made my experience as a queer person more loving and accepting than it would be otherwise. I met my closest queer friends in high school, where the pressure to assimilate is overwhelming. At times when I forgot about the importance of my identity, they were there to remind me of the strength I had by merely existing in a world that threatens to squash all signs of resistance. Our alikeness in queerness led to conversations about marginalization that could not occur genuinely with those outside of the queer community. Without those friendships, I may have never learned how crucial it is to embrace my individuality while also allowing myself to be supported by those within my community.
Queer communities and intercommunal relations are everywhere, and they form the foundation of all queer organization and progress. There is no Pride without a longing for a sense of belonging in public spaces. There is no PFLAG without a desire to bridge the gap between parents and queer children. There are no GSAs without the recognition of queer high school students as part of a larger movement. Though not all spaces are created equal and some have greater access to them than others (such as the urban vs. rural divide), queer people exist in every state, country, and continent. No matter the scale, find people within your specific identity- and outside of it- who can inspire you to continue living your most authentic life to a continued prosperous existence as a holder of a queer identity.