A quarter of couples feel uncomfortable discussing money with their significant other, according to research conducted on 2,000 adults in relationships. The study found that only 17 percent of respondents regularly talk about finances with their partner. Additionally, 10 percent of participants have never discussed the money they owe each other, while 10 percent haven’t shared their earnings or know their partner’s income.
The research, commissioned by M&S Bank, identified several reasons for avoiding discussions about money in relationships. These include never finding the right time, feeling embarrassed, and concerns about the partner’s response. Interestingly, people tend to say “I love you” five months into a relationship but delay discussing money until nine months in.
The study also revealed that 18 percent of respondents move in together before discussing money, and some even expect to get married before broaching the topic. However, a small percentage of participants (five percent) choose to discuss finances within the first two weeks of knowing each other.
Being financially responsible was found to be more attractive than being a good cook, outgoing, or successful in a career. Four out of five participants considered it important for their partner to share the same financial goals. However, over half of those without a joint bank account preferred not to open one, citing a desire for financial independence and personal money management.
Psychologist Emma Kenny emphasized the importance of open communication about finances from the beginning of a relationship. She advised discussing financial history, practical matters, and the implications of a financial connection. Kenny also recommended regular check-ups on finances as a couple and setting joint goals. Additionally, she suggested finding a balance between financial independence and sharing finances for joint activities.
Kenny concluded that discussing finances with a partner is essential for a successful relationship, and encouraged couples to make finance part of their language of love, particularly during Valentine’s Day.
Emma Kenny’s Top Tips for Discussing Finances with Your Partner:
- Communicate openly from the start.
- Understand each other’s financial history.
- Approach financial matters with a practical mindset.
- Discuss the implications of making a financial connection.
- Have honest conversations about financial facts and figures.
- Conduct regular financial check-ups together.
- Consider keeping some finances together while maintaining independence.
- Set joint goals to work towards.
- Celebrate milestones and achievements together.
- Avoid blaming each other for past financial mistakes and learn from them.