One of the most important things for balance in life is to be centered in the Self and this is not always an easy thing. From early age we are conditioned to put others before ourselves and when we don’t we are called egoists. This has created tremendous amounts of guilt in most of us and guilt moves into anger and fear. The egoist approach awakens when we are not centered in our Self, when we constantly fear that we will not get what we need, then we will override both our Self and others to make sure that we are safe – or seen.
So what is being centered in the Self, and how do we stay centered? First of all it’s about self-respect and self-love; listening to our inner voice and the signals we send ourselves, not overriding our own will in favor of others. When we are aligned with ourselves, we will automatically align with those around us and all needs will be filled.
Centered in the Self is abut that; centered. In each and every situation we need to feel if this is right for us. Sometimes our reactions come from conditioning and they are recognizable by the accompanying feeling of guilt or grudge. Feelings move and are received on a subconscious level. We have all received something (be it thing or action) that was accompanied by guilt or grudge and we knew it. It made us feel uncomfortable and guilty, so the exchange became an exchange of guilt instead of something positive. Each time we do something from guilt or fear, the feelings transport themselves in the action, creating even more negative space.
When centered in the Self, we give with love and joy, transporting a sense of positivity, making us and the receiver feel good. When we are centered we give love and respect to others because this is what we carry within; We can never give that what we don’t have. Being centered means that we open up space around us which helps us to not get overwhelmed and exhausted. This same space automatically opens up to others as well. The conditioning of negative egoism makes us deny ourselves in favor of others, this means that others need to deny themselves in favor of us – or we would all be in a bad place. What is going on here is a complete denial of self-responsibility, leaving us depleted, helpless and scared.
Being centered in the Self is self-empowerment; from this place we are able and capable to do wonders – both to ourselves and those around us without being depleted or depleting others. Remember; “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and he’ll eat forever.” Now, this guy might not thank you, because he wanted the momentary fish to eat. But when he finds the self-empowerment of not being in need, he will be happy….and he’ll teach somebody else to fish.
It is not easy to step out of the vicious circle of guilt and fear, so deeply is it conditioned. The conditioning says that not catering to the needs of others is unloving, this is not true. Sometimes the greatest act of love is a kick in the behind.