Please remain vigilant.
Please remain vigilant.
As a community, we have proved to be very good at informing the public about seat belt safety, the need to wear bike helmets and the perils of driving and texting. We do so because these topics reflect real dangers and we know that the consistent reminders will help parents keep their children safe from harm.
But there is another threat to our children that can also cause serious long-term physical and mental health consequences — one that is rarely talked about. Child sexual abuse will victimize one in four girls and one and six boys by the time they reach their 18th birthday. Yes, even here on Cape Cod.
The pinwheels you saw outside the TD Bank offices during April, Sexual Assault Awareness Month, represent the Cape Cod children who have suffered the pains of sexual assault.
Child sexual abuse is not limited by religion, ethnicity, gender, or social or economic status. It is happening in your town, in your neighborhood, in too many families. Relatively few children are abused by strangers; 90 percent of sexually abused children are abused by someone they know, trust and love, usually a family member or someone with easy access to the child.
Signs and symptoms of child sexual abuse: While there is no one true indicator that can tell you if your child has been sexually abused, there are often warning signs a child may exhibit. In some cases, there may be no outward signs of abuse beyond what a child will, hopefully, tell you.
Withdrawal. Depression. Nightmares, trouble sleeping. Sudden mood swings/unexplained anger or rebellion. Fear of certain people or places. Frequent stomach illness or headaches with no identifiable reason. Redness, rashes, bleeding or swelling in the genital areas. Pain at the genitals, anus or mouth. Frequent urinary tract infections. Sexualized behaviors with toys, pets or other children. New words for private body parts. Behaviors of a younger child: bed-wetting or thumb-sucking. Loss of appetite.
Online dangers: Often, we have an image of sexual predators lurking around school playgrounds or hiding behind bushes scoping out potential victims, but the reality is that many of today's sexual predators search for victims while hiding behind a computer screen, taking advantage of the anonymity the Internet offers.
One in five children is solicited sexually online.
Sexual solicitations of youth occur:
In chatrooms (37 percent). Via instant messaging (40 percent). Other, like gaming devices (21 percent).
Talk with your children: Child sexual abuse thrives in silence. Many children who are abused delay disclosure or never disclose at all. Our discomfort with this issue cannot be the reason we avoid opening a dialogue with our children about this very real problem.
There is no perfect age to begin speaking with your children about body safety. Reminders about personal space and privacy should begin with young children, and be repeated often through their teens. Engage your children, talk with them about their bodies, show that you're available to answer questions, and always create an atmosphere of trust.
For ideas on how to talk to your children about keeping themselves safe from abuse, visit www.childrenscove.org or call 508-375-0410.
If you suspect a child has been the victim of abuse or neglect, contact your local police department or the Massachusetts Department of Children & Families' Child at Risk Hotline at 800-792-5200.
Anyone can report child abuse. The protection of children is everyone's responsibility.
Stacy Gallagher is the director of Children's Cove, the Cape & Islands Child Advocacy Center. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or 508-375-0410.