Understand Stereotypes & Why They're Harmful
Joking that'd you'd love a gay best friend might seem harmless, but when it then leaves non-camp gay men who don't particularly care for Lady Gaga and have zero interest in fashion feeling like they don't meet societies view of what a gay man should be, this is when problems occurs. Same with gay women. As shocking as it may seem to some, women can have short hair and not be gay. Women can have long hair and be gay. Open your mind beyond the stereotypes that society and the media has trained us to use as a benchmark of true gayness.
To put it in very basic terms, heteronormativity refers to the belief that being heterosexual is the 'norm' or 'default'. Society conditions us to think of straight as 'normal' and anything other than straight as deviant from this so-called norm. Everything from the selection of 'Mrs & Mr' wedding cards vs. 'Mrs & Mrs' or 'Mr & Mr' in any card shop to clothes for young girls with 'Looking for my Prince Charming' printed across front. Stop assuming people are straight, because statistically speaking, there's a good chance they aren't.
Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is
Good for you, your Facebook profile picture is a rainbow. That's your part done now, right? Wrong. Very wrong. It's all very well and good to think of yourself as an ally, but when you continue to make jokes about gay people, consume homophobic media and supports hateful politicians, how good of an ally are you really being? Have the courage of your convictions, call people out, boycott brands and refuse to stand by as people around you spread hate.
Language & Labels
Know your terminology. Know how demisexual varies from of pansexual, know what cishet means, know what using Mx rather than Miss or Mr means. Know it and use it. Same goes for pronouns. If someone prefers he/his pronouns over she/her pronouns, you damn well use he/his pronouns. This is non-negotiable. Similarly, labels. As a whole, labels are generally pretty badly thought of. Most people don't like to be strictly categorised. However, many LGBTQA+ people take comfort in the security of labels, knowing other people who identify as that label can relate to them. Respect their choice to use or not use labels as they see fit.
Listen, Don't Talk
If you aren't LGBTQA+, you don't get the struggles. Sorry, but you don't. Same way if you're white, you don't get the struggle of people of colour, or if you're able bodied, you don't get the struggles of disabled people. A huge part of being an ally for any group is knowing that it's often important to just shut up and listen. Don't speak on other peoples behalf. Don't butt in. Don't attempt to offer a 'different perspective'.
In the wake of of the shootings in Orlando, the world seems united against homophobia but I can't help to ask, for how long? Love is love I'm told by trending hashtags, but murder is murder and terrorism is terrorism too. If you happen to be in the privileged group that have never had to question your safety based on your LGBTQA+ identity or awkwardly correct someone as they assumed your sexuality, you probably don't ensurely 'get it', but that's okay, that won't stop you helping to progress LGBTQA+ rights by being a better LGBTQA+ ally.