“Words are containers for power, you choose what kind of power they carry.” -Joyce Meyer
Thoughts create our reality through the following pathway:
- Vocalized thoughts are words
- Words lead to action
- Repeated actions become habits
- Habits over time compose one’s life
“A belief is just a thought you keep thinking.”
– Abraham Hicks
Shift your thoughts to change your life. Your thoughts and words are a large reason as to why you’re living the life you are today. Here are a few self-reflection questions:
- Do you say what you really think?
- Do you choose words that you think will please others?
- Do you communicate your needs?
- Do you put your needs aside and say, “Everything is fine,” when your heart is calling you to do what sets your soul on fire?
- Do you speak your truth?
- Do you choose words that go with the accepted norms for fear of being misunderstood?
These answers are for you and you alone. They are a tool to give you insight into your deeper self.
We all have practiced thought patterns due to our life experiences. By becoming aware of the words we choose to speak, we become aware of our habitual thoughts. Choosing our words allows us to plant the seed of intention. Merriam-Webster defines intention as, “The thing that you plan to do or achieve : an aim or purpose.” (1) Sloppy thinking gets you nowhere. Purposeful thinking delivers your dream life.
Deliberately choosing your words directly affects your happiness, wellbeing, and life experience. We can train our thoughts based on our word selection. The body and the mind are a feedback loop. The input you receive from the world around you influences your thoughts and your thoughts then influence how you perceive the world around you, often times on autopilot. It doesn’t have to be this way, reacting to your environment. You can take control at any time, in every moment by consciously choosing our words.
Here is a simple example that you’ve most likely experienced or somethign similar. Have you ever said, “Don’t forget to bring the gift!” or “Don’t let me forget to grab the gift!” Then 15 minute later when you’re in the car on the way to the party, you realize that you forgot the gift. What happened?
Our words carry weight. Sound reverberates. When you say, “Don’t forget,” your mind hears what you said earlier “don’t forget.” The “don’t” emphasizes the word following said, “don’t.” Your attention is on forgetting the gift. The words, “don’t forget” reinforces forgetting the item or task. How annoying, right?
Well, the easy fix is to transmute the negative words or phrases to positive ones. Replace the phrase, “Don’t forget,” with “Remember”. Choose your words that produce the desired outcome such as, “Remember the gift!”
If you’re a parent then this example may resonate with you. If you tell your child not to do something they want to do it more – but if you give instruction on what to do rather than stop doing what they are doing then it redirects the urge. If your child is coloring on the wall, instead of saying, “Don’t color on the wall!” say, “Color on the paper.” You’re redirecting their attention to the desired outcome. See if you notice a difference with this practice.
Next, we are going to replace repetitive thought patterns and sayings with new ones. When you “make a mistake,” you change your words, think or say to yourself, “I’m such a mess,” or “I messed up again,” or “I always do that.” Every time you say that phrase you are reinforcing your negative story. So now we are changing the story by changing the words. Sit back and watch how your world is positively impacted around you.
- Write down common phrases that you say.
- Write down how that makes you feel.
- Write down how you would like to feel.
- Write down the corresponding phrase to generate your desired feelings. (see the table below for a few examples)
If you find yourself saying any of the phrases in the first column on the left, try replacing it with the phrase in the second column on the right. Making these adjustments when speaking to others and to yourself is life changing. You’ll be pleasantly surprised at what you’re able to accomplish. Many times we don’t give ourselves enough credit or we have too high of an expectation is such a small amount of time.
|Stop doing that||Do this instead|
|I’m always late||I am punctual|
|I can’t do that||I can try|
|I’ll never find a partner||It’s possible to find a partner|
|I don’t have time||I can make time|
|I don’t have the money||I can get creative|
|I don’t know how||I’m interested in learning|
|I don’t like working out||I like this activity|
|I feel overwhelmed||I’m doing the best that I can & that is enough|
These phrases are forms of kindness. Love yourself. Be kind to yourself. Your life will reflect the light you shine from within. That’s all that is required of you to find your true happiness inspiring others to do the same.