For students, who are often under considerable pressure and stress over a sustained period, emotional intelligence plays an important part in being successful in their studies. It has also been shown as a key factor for accomplishment and happiness in many areas of life.
The core concepts or skills of emotional intelligence generally identified as self-awareness, self-management or emotional control, empathy and managing relationships.
Emotional intelligence happens through various complex pathways and neurological responses in the brain. The earlier it is taught and the more frequently it is practiced, the better one typically becomes at it.
Changing long-standing habits can be tough, but ultimately it is a range of skills, and there is plenty of evidence to say they can be taught. Emotional intelligence is learned and developed over a lifetime.
It is clear that possessing a high degree of emotional intelligence helps students learn more effectively, deal with stress and maintain quality relationships. We also know it can be learned. But, what about actually teaching these skills?
Here we show some ways that emotional intelligence can be increased in students.
1. Help Students Recognize and Understand their Own Emotions
The starting point of establishing emotional connections with others is having an adequate understanding of our own emotional inner world. This is not only knowing how we feel but also being aware of how we present to others—knowing what they see when we act a particular way.
Students can be assisted in this by being exposed to a rich and nuanced emotion vocabulary. The more words they have to use, the more they will learn to recognize, understand, and communicate the subtle differences in their own emotions.
Exercises might include having students create a list of emotion words, then discuss when they might feel each and how they would respond when they felt that way. This will help it become easier for students to differentiate between such feelings as anger and frustration, and understand what being sad versus being disappointed is.
Depending on the age of the students, discussions can move on to more complex territory, like the interrelationship between fear and anxiety, or discussing the emotional responses surrounding various ethical questions.
2. Foster Empathy through Connection
Being able to understand the emotions, motivations, and responses of other people close to us and in the wider world is one of the most important skills we can develop. Students should be given ample situations where they are asked to take on someone else’s perspective.
Reading, the study of history and current events, engaging with art, or music, can all aid this. Open follow-up discussions that prompt the exploration of how other people felt and reacted will increase the students’ capacity for empathy.
It is also important to ground this with personal experiences of the benefits of showing empathy to others. Students should also have the chance to understand what it feels like when others are empathic towards them. Seeing examples of empathy in action is the key.
Opportunities for connection, cooperation and collaboration should be central. Prompt students to also reflect their observations of fellow students back to each other.
Students can be encouraged to regularly practice focusing on others and to more actively observe people around them. This should include a range of different people—some who might initially seem quite different to themselves. Have the students reflect on what they might have in common, how they might start a conversation or what they might discuss.
3. Encourage Eye Contact
Eye contact is a powerful way of establishing an emotional connection with another person, and students should be encouraged to use it. Mastering when and how much eye contact to use with whom is the trick.
There are often social limits around eye contact—which discourages making more eye contact than necessary with strangers or holding it for sustained periods.
During conversations, it increases feelings of openness and shows your interest in the other person. When someone looks at us when we talk, we feel that they care more about what we are saying—we feel valued and m0re understood. Furthermore maintaining eye contact also promotes better listening, as it focuses our attention.
However, for many people, there is also some discomfort in eye contact. It can be quite confronting and bring with it senses of vulnerability, awkwardness or nervousness.
Becoming more comfortable using eye contact can improve a student’s emotional connection with both themselves and the person they are communicating with.
This is why regular reminders and specific exercises which encourage eye contact are helpful for students. Feeling one’s own vulnerability and even reading someone by noticing their reluctance for eye contact can itself promote empathy.
4. Promote Mindfulness
If this topic immediately has you wondering whether students should be taught to meditate, you probably aren’t alone. Whilst meditation is one form of mindfulness, it is not the only one. Encourage students to start by thinking about what mindfulness actually is, and why it might be beneficial.
In the simplest terms, mindfulness is the practice of turning one’s attention to the current moment. It can specifically include turning our attention inwards to observe our own feelings and what is going on in our body presently. Mindfulness has been linked to improved memory, better emotion regulation, improved stress resilience, as well as physical health benefits.
Mindfulness is somewhat like a muscle—the more you use it the stronger it becomes. The more you practice being in the moment the easier it is to stay there, the easier it is to maintain focus. Have students do simple exercises, like- take deep breaths, pay attention to nature and observe the world around them as they travel to and from campus, use visualization techniques.
5. Get a Handle on Self-Talk
We all talk to ourselves. The content of what we are saying can have a big impact on our mood and actions. Negative self-talk has been shown to increase anxiety and will often compound a stressful situation. The negative story we tell ourselves can trap us in that negative belief.
Start by encouraging students to observe their own mental dialogue and note of how positive or negative it is. Repeating an affirmative or motivational phrase regularly is a simple way to keep the balance on the positive side.
A further strategy is to encourage students to keep a gratitude journal. Taking a few minutes to regularly write down the good things in one’s life and what there is to be grateful for, counteracts stress. It fights the negative chatter that can easily dominate and again puts the focus on the positive.
Employ these strategies regularly and prompt students to do their own work too. It will certainly assist them to develop and improve their emotional intelligence.