The homework wars
Why do we find ourselves back in the same choppy water? For one, bad (and good) habits are hard to change. It takes concerted effort over a long time to establish new, good habits. Also, some kids are not motivated by the stick and carrot approach to education, where good grades are supposed to inspire students to work harder. Bad grades are intended to discourage kids from slacking off. Sure, it works for about 80% of children. But what about the other 20%?
Lets face it. Homework is a low interest, low satisfaction task. The contrast between the potential delayed rewards of completing homework (good grades) and the immediate excitement and satisfaction of sports, video games, and texting friends is hard to reconcile. This is especially so for kids who find homework a painful, difficult chore. For these children it’s a hard sell.
Nonetheless, homework can account for 40% of your child’s grades. If they don’t complete it, their grades will suffer significantly. So the battle begins. It can be exhausting for parents and kids.
Here are some homework tips for Moms and Dads.
Establish a consistent time everyday for homework. It has to come before activities that are immediately gratifying. Video time is a reward for getting through homework. No texting until homework is done. No television until assignments are completed.
The important point for parents—don’t let your kids nickel and dime you out of the established schedule! Five minutes here and there can add up to several hours over the span of a month. Be a stickler about following the schedule. Don’t make the exception the rule!
Be flexible about where your kids do their homework. In some homes, the kitchen table is a great spot. Parents can keep an eye on their kids and see what they are doing. In other families, a quiet location away from the fray is best. Some kids do better when they are lying on their bed. The main thing is to help your child find a setting that works for their temperament and disposition.
What about listening to music while they work? I’m listening to banjo music while I’m writing this post. Music can make writing more pleasant—especially when my brain gets bogged down. When I have a low interest task (like paperwork), listening to rock helps me get through it. But everyone is different in this regard. My wife has to have total silence when she works—she gets distracted easily and can lose her train of thought. Help your child figure out what works best for them.
Discuss your child’s homework with them. Discuss their reading assignments with them. What did you like about the story? Tell me about the main character? What kind of person was she? Did you like her? If not, why not? Read their essays. Ask them good questions. When they’re in High School re-read the books they are reading. Homework can be an opportunity to connect with your children.
I know this idea was alien to me. Growing up, my parents had zero involvement in my homework. It was my job to do it. We rarely talked about it all. But, life is change and today is different.
Ultimately, it’s their responsibility. Sometimes, parents feel like doing the homework themselves just to stop the battling! Don’t do it! It’s their job. Your job is helping them develop the grit needed to complete low interest responsibilities.
What strategies have helped you reduce homework strife in your home?