Family MattersEver have a hard time talking to your teen or pre-teen child? Sometimes it may seem over-welming. But we at Shawswick School know that...family does matter. We've created this page to be a useful tool for parents, grandparents, relatives, or friends to use when trying to find the most effective way of talking to their teen. This page will be an excellent resource for parents, which discusses a variety of different topics. If you have a topic or a suggestion as to how to make this page more beneficial to you as parents, feel free to email us anytime!
To educate everyone...it takes everyone!!!
Don't wait until your child is well into their teen years to confront awkward, confusing, or emotional issues. Face issues when they arise, don't tip toe around the subject. As problems or issues arise, they should be addressed immediately. Don't be afraid to initiate a conversation or discussion, you'd be surprised how often your teen WANTS to talk to you but doesn't know how to approach you. On the other hand, it may take more than one attempt from you to get your child to open up. Just remember, never give up too soon.
Too often, without even knowing it, parents put conditions on what their child is allowed to talk to them about. You should stop and ask yourself, "Can I listen to anything my child has to say, even if I don't like what it is they're saying?" Or have you ever caught yourself saying to your child..." You never listen to a word I say to you." You have to condition your child to listen, by modeling that trait in yourself.
There has to be limits set for teens and pre-teens. Those limits also have to be enforced. Be observant of your childs behavior. Ask yourself these simple questions..."Do I know where my child is?" or "Do I know who my childs friends are?" or "What kinds of things does my child do?". You should know the answers to all of those questions, they're things every parent should know. And remember to use that information to bond with your child, not to play dictator in their life. The pre-teen and teenage years are very fragile times, you have to learn to give them both roots AND wings.
This time may be harder on the parents than it is on the children. You have to be prepared for anything they might bring to you. You've spent the previous years of their life sharing with them your own moral values or standards. You expect them to share your values, but don't be surprised if they don't. You have every right to tell them your point of view, but it is also your right to listen to their point of view as well. Don't forget that they have opinions, ideas, and beliefs as well. And even if you differ greatly on your beliefs that doesn't mean you can't find some middle ground.
Don't be afraid to hear what your teen has to say, and expect to be shocked sometimes. Just remember that the more knowledgeable about a topic you are, the more comfortable you'll be discussing it with your child. So if you decide to bring up the "birds and the bees" you might think about heading to the library or logging onto the internet to find out as much information as possible. The same goes for talking about drugs, peer pressure, alcohol, teen pregnancy, or STD's. Know your facts first! And it might not be a bad idea to then share the books, articles, or websites you found with your teen. And sometimes its okay to learn together, you can't be expected to know everything.
Here are 10 tips to follow that come from the Kaiser Family Foundation
Talking to Kids About Tough Issues.
- Start Early.
- Initiate Conversations.
- Talk about sex and sexuality, even if it's difficult.
- Create an open environment.
- Communicate your own values.
- Listen to your child.
- Try to be honest.
- Be patient.
- Use everyday opportunities to talk.
- Talk about it again. And Again.
Here are also a few websites that you might want to check out for more information....