Category 4: Common Mistakes Parents Make: What Not To Do!
Infants, Toddlers, Preschool and General Parenting
The Threatening and Repeating Parent
How many times will you ask and how many times will it end up like this?
The Bribing Parent
When treats and scare tactics no longer work, some parents slip to this. What's wrong with this parent type?
When Parents Fail to Keep Each Other Informed
You spent weeks working on a particular behavior with your child, and you finely have a breakthrough and achieve your behavioral goal. Then one day you discover weeks of hard work are undone by your spouse. Here is an example of why you need to keep each other informed.
There are many ways to plan for your retirement. Rushing your children into activities before they are developmental ready should not be one of them. Maybe you have not rushed your child to the Tennis Court lately, but have you rushed your little sweetie in other behavioral activities that are way beyond his intellectual and social readiness or interest?
Baby "Brain" Enhancement Videos
Stimulating an efficient knowledge processing system during the critical first year and-a-half of life is a ‘must-attain’ goal for parents of a pretoddler. Videos marketed to make babies smarter is not a step in the right direction.
Parenting Outside the Funnel
To parent "outside the funnel" is a phrase that gives definition to those times when parents allow behaviors that are neither age-appropriate nor in alignment with a child’s moral and intellectual abilities.
Sending Right and Wrong Emotional Messages - Part One
The type of emotional messages we send to our children through the course of the day can build, strengthen, or weaken the neural-pathways of understanding.
Sending Right and Wrong Emotional Messages - Part Two
When a parent reinforces an emotion by responding with a similar emotion, the original emotion is reinforced, whether positive or negative.
Destroying Children with Flattery
When it comes to praising our children, our words should be uplifting and gracious, but equally important, they need to be honest and true. Flattering a child is dangerous business.
A Clean but Empty House
If a parent’s primary moral focus is on what their children do wrong, accompanied by the warning of what not to do the next time, and not balanced with instruction that teaches what is right and what the child should do, then ultimately the only thing a parent is doing is sweeping the house clean of behavioral “demons.” The child's moral house is still empty!
The Potato Principle
The Potato Principle warns parents not to fixate solely on the bad spots, because in time, the child’s “good” is no longer appreciated or seen. Parents then begin to measure their child’s goodness by the absence of bad. Like the potato, one is only good if there are no bad spots.
When Death Words Become Curses
Sometimes, well-intentioned parents wrongly shape their children’s identity by highlighting or focusing on the child’s weaknesses. By focusing on the weakness, parents are actually speaking a curse on the child. The curse becomes the child’s identity and that is what fuels unpleasant behaviors.
Your Children's God-Names
A God Name is the title that reflects their principle strength of character, that contributes to the shaping of their identity.
Words that shackle a child's mind-when children are not given the freedom to fail: As a society, we collectively love winning so much that any potential lesson learned through failure goes unnoticed. This same inclination finds its way into parenting. As it relates to child-development, the topic of success and failure receives little to no attention. Yet, it should, because it can shape a child’s future.
The seven death-word concepts: There are seven death-word and concepts that no child should ever become identified with or by. These are words and thoughts that are antithetical to the “Life” message should be hearing and identifying with.
Using Proper Words When Giving a Child Instructions: What not to say:
Teaching Respect for Age: What not to say to an older person:
Seven Birds on a Fence: Whether it is your spouse, friend, co-worker, or child, never attempt to rescue a story that does not need to be rescued.