Humans are social animals that thrive best in supportive groups and families.
The threat of being excluded from our social group can provoke a lot of fear and distress.
In order to understand how to fit in and get along with our caregivers and companions we soon learn how to imagine how other people think of us, and feel about us, so we can predict what others will do next and how best to respond to stay safe in our ‘tribe’.
As very young children we develop a ‘theory of mind’: the ability to attribute mental states—beliefs, intents, desires, emotions, knowledge, etc.—to oneself, and to others, and to understand that others have beliefs, desires, intentions, and perspectives that are different from one’s own.
With a good theory of mind we can empathise, choose appropriate gifts, ‘read’ body language and non-verbal cues, predict how someone will respond to a situation and many manage other facets of social life.
Our theory of ‘how we exist in the minds of others’ radically shape our experience.
If we think others think well of us then we will be comfortable and resourceful in our social world.
If we think others think badly of us we may feel (and fear being) unattractive, rejectable or vulnerable to attack.
In this week’s EFT Cafe on Wednesday, 10th October, Andy Hunt will explore using EFT to change the way we think other people think of us so we can be more resourceful, congruent and confident with others.