Negative Attitude and Objectives
A negative attitude is a frame of mind whereby a person is unhappy and fees that everything is unfair and is working against their overall happiness. A negative attitude is brought about by wrong beliefs, which are brought about by people or other influences. They indicate that a person’s life in meaningless and pointless and makes a person to feel very unhappy.
Limiting beliefs. The main cause of negative attitude is wrong beliefs about life or certain aspects of it.
You see the life through your beliefs and if your beliefs are negative, you will see your life as unhappy or downright pointless. So to change such attitude you need to change your beliefs. Read this article about NLP Techniques to change your beliefs (look at the technique no.5).
Negative family/friends. It seems that your friends and family affect how you feel and if your family is negative, they cause your bad attitude. That’s, however, not the case because only you can decide how you feel. I know this may seem unreal to those who hear it for the first time, but you and only you can decide how to react to anything that happens to you.
You don’t have to get upset when someone tries to get you upset. You can choose to remain calm or even be happy. If you allow others to decide how you should feel, you let them have control over you. That’s, of course, not a wise decision since people usually mind their own well-being first.
You always have choices. If your family is negative, for example, you can choose to live away from them or at least see them less often. If your friends are negative, you can simply refuse to be with them. This will definitely be beneficial because then nobody will reinforce your negative beliefs and thus cause your negative attitude. Remember, however, that you attracted your friends and because of that you have the power to attract better ones.
Negative environment. If you do not see the relation between your thoughts and the environment that you find yourself in, it’s no surprise that you assume that you have no power to change it. So when you think you are powerless over your environment and your environment is negative,that causes your negative attitude.
To change that you need to understand that your thinking led you to this environment and it wasn’t so simply by accident. So to change your negative environment you need to change your thinking which will be described further on in this article.
Unsatisfying circumstances/life. If you find yourself complaining about how unhappy you are, it’s exactly the reason you have such a negative attitude. It may be hard at first to understand and accept this but the quicker you do, the quicker you will be able to change your life for the better. Your complaining alone can keep you stuck in the circumstances that you find unsatisfying. So to change your life you should stop complaining and start working on improving your life.
The Consequences of Negative Attitude
Negative attitude shortens your life. The more often you become angry, upset or frustrated, the less days you will have left to live. I know this is extreme, but that’s how it is. You are shortening your life every time you let negative emotions overtake you.
Such attitude Creates unpleasant future. Your present actions determine your future. If you constantly moan and are dissatisfied with your circumstances, in the future you are sure to meet with more of the things you are unhappy about. The more you complain, the more things you will find to complain about.
It harms others. Your negative mood affects people around you. You should never make others feel bad because by doing so you are contributing not only to your own misery, but to the unhappiness of others also.
Such attitude produces negative effects. Every cause has an effect and so your negative attitude (cause) produces negative circumstances. Mostly people think it’s the other way round, but that’s not the case.
Your thinking causes your circumstances.
How to Change Negative Attitude
It is possible to change negative attitude, but it will not be easy. If you lived your life seeing only dark colours, you cannot turn this around in a day. However, by taking small and consistent steps you will gradually become a happier person.
The best way to change your mental state is by understanding the outcome of negativity. Carefully read the consequences of negative attitude and they will serve as reminders as soon as your mood goes down. You will think twice before getting upset, angry or depressed. And Yes, you cause your own mood and you can change it by simply focusing on good aspects of your life or imagining something positive. You are not at the mercy of different kinds of negative feelings that visit you when you least expect. You can control how you feel.
As soon as you spot a negative aspect of a situation or thing, try your best to find its positive aspect instead. For example, if you oversleep, you will think that you will be late for work. Instead try to find something positive that you gain from over-sleeping. You may realise that your efficiency will increase significantly because of the extra hours of sleep. So always look at the positive aspects of any situation that you find yourself in.
You should try to understand what causes your negative attitude. It might be that you live with a person who constantly ruins your mood or it may also be something to do with your past. Maybe something happened to you that made you deeply upset and you have not recovered from that incident since.
Try to understand that the incident is long gone, and you should not live in the shadow of it. Your past can only have influence on your present if you let it. Remember, your whole power is in the present moment.
Positive thinking is not enough. If you cannot find the cause of your negative attitude, you will only cover this attitude with positive words which will do no good to you. So try to find the cause of it and this will allow you to change your negative attitude.
Sometimes causes are internal rather than external. In fact, any external cause will lead you to the deeper, internal cause. For example, you might understand that you are negative because your family makes you negative. But when you dig deeper, you may realize that you feel unworthy as a person and you project this unworthiness onto your family and that makes you angry at them.
It’s true that the qualities you don’t like in other people are yours, so it’s not others that are at fault but you. So in this example you uncover that it’s your limiting belief of unworthiness that makes you negative. The next step will be to eliminate it and then your attitude will improve.
Types of Negative Attitude
There are certain types of people that indulge in negative states of mind. They are all different in some ways of thinking and acting, but the unifying feature of all of them is their constant negativity. Here are several types of such personalities:
The miserable type. Such people are grumpy from the start of the day. They meet with failures as soon as they wake up, which sets their day to be full of anger and hopelessness.
Usually this type of people keep to themselves and their presence makes others moody. People instantly feel their bad energy and try to stay away from them.
When you talk to the person of this type, s/he may insult you without even intending so. This is because their negativity is so aligned with who they are that they cannot recognize if they make others happy or sad.
The most interesting distinction of this type is that they are mainly unaware of their mental state. They don’t realize that they are negative.
Friendship with the miserable type of people can get you seriously depressed. This is because they have a very strong negative energy resonating from them which might draw you in. This is especially true if you are mentally weak or insecure.
Silent killer. Such people usually understand psychology quite well. They use this knowledge to gradually introduce hatred, anger and low self-esteem in others. They do this by making remarks about how others behave or look. They know that their remarks are destructive, but others may not realise that.
For example, your friend casually implies that you should not wear this type of suit because it emphasizes your waist. Do you see the real intention behind the advice?
Another example could be such situation. You have just met your dream partner and you are in love with each other. You meet your friend and start conversation about your new partner. The friend makes such remark: ‘Hmm, I wonder what made her choose you…’
This kind of advice or statement makes you question your appearance and abilities which leads to low self-esteem and self-doubt.
The reason why silent killers act this way is because they are very insecure beings. Because of that, they want to make others feel as insecure as them. Getting others in such negative state gives them reassurance, control and satisfaction.
Drama queen This is the most common type. Their emotions range from anger to self-pity, and every small incident can be turned into the storm. They seem to like the fact that they can change how others feel and be the centres of attention.
Such people are needy and insecure, they crave for constant reassurance. They strive for attention and approval. If they don’t receive what they want, they begin acting in childish ways. They may start crying, throwing things around or trying to get on others’ nerves.
That eventually backfires on them. Once that happens, drama queens become scared and surprised by the reaction they caused. This way drama queens try to make others feel guilty and cruel.
This kind of behaviour is the result of neediness and low self esteem.
Woe is me. Such people love to talk about their failures to everyone who would listen. They do that purely to get attention and sympathy of others.
Many people do not realise that such unfortunate stories can do a lot of harm. You should stay away from such people because they will draw you in to their world of unfairness and unhappiness.
This especially applies if you are mentally weak. By listening to the stories of the ‘woe is me’ type, you are likely to start visualising their troubles and invite them into your own life.
The paranoid type. They perceive others to be constantly trying to worsen their lives. If they go shopping, they think that shopkeepers are trying to rip them off; If someone wants to befriend them, they think that s/he wants something in return for the friendship.
Many people who live in foreign countries fall into this type. Once they encounter one unfortunate situation when they are treated unfairly because they are foreign, they start to see unfairness everywhere.
It may come to the stage where they would see that everyone is against them because of their skin colour or accent.
This negative attitude is mainly caused by self-doubt and poor self-image.
Trigger type. Such people seek ways to release their anger or self-pity. An example would be a person who gets into the conversation with someone who is sure to make him feel angry or hopeless. This way he destroys his mental balance and health.
Another example could be a person who tries to spark an argument. He starts accusing someone of doing something insignificant and continue with his/her accusations until another person finally breaks down.
By releasing their emotions they discharge their negativity and give some of their negative energy to the people they argue with.
These are the most common types of people with negative attitude. One person can have a mixture of several types, but then one type will be more prominent than others.
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