The elusive birth certificate indicates that Barrack Hussein Obama was first born in the Beetleguise constellation, six thousand four hundred and twenty seven years ago.
In Obama's amazing inauguration speech, he explains that three planets formed an association, and they jointly produced the first human embryos. There were two human races, one white and one black. However, after many years, it was decided that the integration was not taking place as hoped for, so a third race was introduced, being half-white and half-black, or Asian.
The presence of Obama on the inauguration stage today marks another vital staging point in this successful eugenics experiment.