Oh well! Here it is!
First of all, May the month isn’t related to may the word. Not even a little. The month first showed up in the early twelfth century from the Old French mai and classical Latin Majjus/Maius mensis. It’s thought to have come from the goddess Maia. Actually, there are two Maias, a Greek one that’s one of the Pleiades and a Roman one that’s the goddess of growth and spring, and over the years as Greek and Roman culture combined so did the two goddess. Or it might be from Maiesta, the Roman goddess of honor and reverence. Because things just weren’t confusing enough.
Now, before there was May in English, we obviously had to have another name for the fifth month. May used to be called Þrimilic, which would be pronounced “thrimilke”. Or…three milk. Nope, not making it up. May used to be called Three Milk, because apparently May used to be the only month where you could milk cows three times a day.
Come on. That’s way better than naming it for some goddess.