Question and answers are things we learn very early in life but never responses. When thinking about responses what comes to mind are invitations, emergencies, allergies or political ultimatums.
What is never talked about is how central responses are to how we both see and react to life. Our responses and those of others are equally as powerful. Both are central to how we form context about a situation, a person, or the world.
We quickly formulate an impression, a characterization, a bias based on the response of another person. The way we respond influences how others will interact with us and how they view us.
Responses are at the interface of human interaction.
Our character and our deep feelings are either hid or exposed in our responses. Many times are responses are incomplete. Not intentionally, but the result of our distracted mind. Other times, they are whimsical without substance. Sometimes, they are deep but rarely perceived for their depth at first sight.
The process of truly understanding responses and garnering helpful information from them is analogous to an eye exam. When things are first out of focus, and then through multiple trials, a suitable lens strength is found for us to see clearly. Even after the eye doctor’s first success, he or she then tries a little more to find the incremental change is strength that makes our eyesight perfect.
Follow up questions are the tool we should use to bring responses into focus. For us to understand more clearly what is being said before running ahead with our imperfect interpretation of what we just heard.
Reflection and feedback are the tools needed for us to clarify and become self-aware of how we responded to certain questions and situations. We easily forget that how we respond to situations, people, and challenges determines what path we unconciously choose to live our lives.
Practice looking for responses with the understanding that they are incomplete bits of information that always need to be clarified or self-examined to bring them into focus. It’s the follow up question or the bit of uncertainty in the soundness of our thinking where personal effectiveness and growth begins to emerge.