It is not what you say. But how you say it !!
We are known by the words and language we use in our interactions with other- verbally and written as well. The result of language and words used by us can be passive or negative. Rude and harsh words create bitterness that attracts negativity. Our words carry enormous weight. More than we think. They often impact people for decades!
Words have energy and power with the ability to help,to heal, to hinder,to hurt, to harm, to humiliate, and to humble. Words can transform our childhood friend into a lifelong enemy. Wounds caused by physical injury heal with the passage of time, but those caused by words can stay RAW for decades.
Ask yourself this question- who would you rather be with? Someone who talks about negative things all the time, does not think twice before insulting others, uses unpleasant and derogatory language and never misses a chance to taunt someone? OR someone who is always respectful to the others, who is well mannered even when he/she is offering criticism, who knows how to treat others with dignity. I would guess that you would rather hang out with the second kind of person.
Being polite and courteous does not mean that you have to be a pushover and agree to everything everyone says to you. It does not even mean that you cannot be firm with your juniors. It does not even mean that you cannot discipline your children. you can do all of the above in a positive,constructive and respectful tone.
⦁ Senior 1: “This way you will not last in this job for too long.I need to keep a close watch on your work now. See me once every week and update me about the status of your tasks”
⦁ Senior 2: ” I know you are new here, but i expect you to keep me updated if you think you are going to miss the dead-line. Lets monitor the situation more closely for the next few weeks.Pl set a meeting with me once every week. We will try to resolve issues proactively”.
⦁ Senior 1 was not actually rude, but his remarks showed that he lacked trust in junior’s abilities.The junior was new,he certainly needed guidance, but the senior’s approach was not constructive. The junior may probably feel that the senior is not on his side.
⦁ Senior 2, on the other hand was firm and direct. He made it clear that he expected better performance from the junior.This indirectly also indicates that he has faith that the junior can do better.
Words that are spoken without due consideration can do as much damage. Just like thoughtless words can create issues where there were not any,thoughtful words and language can diffuse a potentially explosive situation.
It pays to think before we talk and choose proper words to turn difficult situations into our favour. When we understand the power of words and our language and realize that we can choose what we think and speak, OUR LIVES CAN BE TRANSFORMED!!
In the words of Abraham Lincoln,
” DO I NOT DESTROY MY ENEMIES WHEN I MAKE THEM MY FRIENDS?”
YES OR NO????