Young people who are in foster care have often experienced attachment disruptions, trauma, and adversity. These early experiences profoundly affect the way young people perceive relationships, permanence, and trust. Not only is it normal for all adolescents and young adults to crave independence, but for those who have experienced trauma, moving multiple times, letdowns and dashed expectations for a family, a young person may want to focus on independence to avoid getting hurt again.
Even though acting on emotion, being impulsive and taking risks is normal behavior for all adolescents, adults often respond to young people in foster care with restrictions and punishment. Such responses can ultimately jeopardize a young person’s stability and permanence.
Caregivers and teachers may see resistance and normal risk-taking as defiance, and may disengage instead of investing in an enduring relationship at this critical point. Child welfare professionals such as caseworkers and judges might hear what the young person says and, believing they are honoring their wishes, may abandon the quest for a family, too.
The stakes are too high to give up on finding a permanent family, no matter how old a young person is or how difficult their history in foster care. Research makes clear that caring adults make a huge difference at every age. Families can be blood relatives or chosen. Consider the importance of kinship and extended families. Studies have shown these families to be more stable than non-kinship families for African-American youth because they may be more likely to understand young people’s developmental needs within their cultural context. Young people who leave foster care without families are more likely to experience homelessness, under-employment, early pregnancy, contact with the criminal justice system or substance use.