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Grief - Bereavement & Mourning
People are massively and extensively different, absolutely unique in who they are and where and what has happened to them in their life. We all learn to somehow cope in our different ways, or not so different ways.
Losing someone or something that you dearly love, can be devastating and life changing for some, and for others, they seem to carry on and seemingly carry on as if nothing has happened. This is the difference we see across people and societies around the world, people experience bereavement so very differently because they are all human and sense fear.
Experiencing grief and bereavement is an unescapable and sometimes very sad fact of life from which of course none of us can ever really escape.
This bereavement is time after which a loss has occurred and grief is now being experienced,
Sometimes people are very aware of the people who love them and the attachments that they have towards significant others in their lives. These fears around loss and what that really feels like to you as an individual, who perceives the world, are individual to you as a person, but also felt by many other people in different or similar ways.
Anticipatory grief ( expecting a death to happen ) is also a factor in just how much time the person was expecting or anticipating the loss.
Mourning is really about adaptation to the loss of someone or something and adapting in your way, out from that loss and somehow walking forward at your own pace and maybe within your own cultural customs.
Grief is a very normal way for a person to react to a loss, from the extreme to the mild, is expressed by different people in different cultures around the world and in different ways.
Grief reactions can be felt as a result of physical loss or losses, maybe a death or social and symbolic losses, bankruptcy, loss of a job or divorce, these areas very much represent a loss to the person and possibly in many aspects of their lifespan.
Grief can very well be experienced as, physical, mental, social and emotional reactions.
Physical reactions might include physical problems, noticeable changes in appetite, illness, sleeping problems of various descriptions and illness.
Social reactions can and do effect the family in some very different ways that would not be usually present in a particular family ie: becoming suddenly very protective of family members, maybe going back to work unusually early, or seeing friends and family.
Grief processes are underpinned by the relationship and the attachment we have with the person who has died, and also the particular and individual circumstances of the death.
Grief could be described by some as more of a physical problem, a strong line of rumination, thinking about the deceased along with hostility, anger, and marked behavioural changes within the person.
Often the amount of time a person spends in the area of bereavement will very much be dependent on how that person was attached to the deceased, also another indicator is how long has the bereaved person spent anticipating that individual loss.
Mourning can only be described as a process that people slowly move through while they are adapting to some kind of loss. It is also something that more often than not, is determined by societal or personal obligations around rituals, cultural customs and the generally expected rules that are associated with coping with loss.
Grieving and all of the steps that a person needs to transit through and complete in a healthy a way as possible, are what a person needs to regaining some kind of normality in their life.
One of the processes involved includes moving away from the person who is deceased and that involves an alteration to a place without the person and entering into new friendships/relationships. This of course does not remotely mean that you have to forget about the person that you have lost, quite the opposite, its more about reinvesting in life in a way that is comfortable and adaptive and will help the person to look to others for their emotional needs and satisfaction.
Emotional and physical energy can now be healthily redirected toward others and readjustment without the deceased person, can now begin, and move forward in the normal way.
A person with particular skills, and roles might have to adjust in ways that require some kind of change in order that they may give their emotional energy to others rather than the deceased.
Individuals who are moving through the process of grieving often report areas of their new and different life as being exhaustive, it is the steps being taken during the process of mourning that calls for physical and emotional energy, which is tiresome and wearing for the person trying to make adjustments to their life.
Losing someone in your life can for some people remind them of previous losses, that might be complex or unresolved, which can entail mourning lasting for a longer period of time and can hamper and lengthen mourning.
A person who is grieving can also feel that they are grieving not just for the person who is deceased, but also for all of the disappointed plans and desires that now cannot be fulfilled with the deceased person.
What happens next ?