You know when you’re talking to someone and you notice them wince, fold their arms, or appear incapable of maintaining eye contact? And in that moment, you’re almost 100 percent sure that they’re completely disinterested in you and what you have to say?
You see, the way in which we move our body reveals an unhindering truth that’s almost impossible to hide. In fact, our non-verbal cues are sometimes more powerful than the spoken word.
We can gather tons of information about people just by noticing the way in which they move, sit, stand, dance, jump, skip and hop.
And as John Napier, the discoverer of logarithms, said: "If language was given to men to conceal their thoughts, then gesture’s purpose was to disclose them."
Welcome to body language 101!
The brain acts as a means to telegraph our intentions. For example, the limbic system in the brain is the region that processes needs, feelings, thoughts, emotions, and intentions.
The brain is so powerful that there is no thinking involved, it merely sends signals to parts of the body in real time, which then causes us to reveal how we feel.
For example, when we are feeling anxious we may start sweating, shaking, or engage in self-soothing behavior like hand-to-body contact.
When we hear bad news, we might clench our jaw or rub our neck. And when it comes to being in like or in love, well, there’s a whole set of interesting body cues to watch out for...
So you’ve got the hots for someone and you’re wondering if they fancy you too. Granted, it’s nerve wracking to muster up the courage to actually admit how you feel or to confront them, which is why you can decode their feelings by sizing up their body language.
When someone arches their eyebrows, their eyes become wider, signifying that they’re interested in you and what you have to say.
It’s a gesture that non-verbally says: what you’re saying is important, and I am actively listening.
When someone feels angry, nervous, or sad, they’re prone to placing their arms across their body, closing themselves off from others.
But when someone’s arms are relaxed, almost widely open, it’s a signal of welcoming another in. And according to psychologist, Shamyra Howard, open body language is an indication that someone is curious about another.
Our pupils dilate for a number of reasons, like when we feel excited or attracted to someone. This is because, when we’re excited or attracted to another, our brain increases the release of the hormones, oxytocin and dopamine (the “love hormones”).
“Our brain gets a boost of these hormones and our pupils dilate when we see something stimulating or when we are sexually or romantically attracted to someone,” says body language expert, Karen Donaldson.
Generally, tilting of the head means that someone is interested in another, and that they’re actively listening.
It’s also been said to signify vulnerability. This is because when our heads are tilted, we expose our carotid arteries ( blood vessels that carry blood to the head, brain, and face).
When we’re in the presence of someone we like or love, blood flows to our lips, making them fuller and redder.
This not only makes us more desirable, but also indicates that we are relaxed and content.
When you look deep into someone’s eyes, it communicates interest, undivided attention and sometimes, desire. According to relationship coach, Michelle Fraley:
“Eye contact is an intimate and vulnerable act, so intense eye contact can be very meaningful. Deep eye contact, or holding your gaze for at least four seconds, may indicate feelings of love.”
Oftentimes, touch is an indication of affection. And when someone grazes or touches your arm or hand every so often unnecessarily, it’s a strong sign that they want your attention because they may have romantic or sexual feelings for you.
According to Patti Wood, a body language expert, when we are attracted to someone, we produce more saliva. This, in turn, could result in one licking their lips more frequently, or pressing them together often.
When we like or love someone, we make an effort to get physically closer to them. Next time you’re with the one you’re pining after, pay attention to how close they’re sitting to you.
Do they make an effort to scooch closer? Do they lean in when you’re talking? Have they removed all objects in between your physical space, such as phones or drinks? All of these are positive signs.
Mirroring is when a person subconsciously copies another’s body language, speech pattern, or attitude. For example, if you’re sitting with your legs crossed and the person you’re with does the same, this is mirroring.
Interestingly, a study revealed that waitresses who mirrored their customers were more likely to gain higher tips!
Surely you’re relieved to know that you can decode the one you’re in like or love with, without having to have any awkward conversations. Simply be mindful of the above 10 body language signals, and the proof will be in the pudding.