How to Ruin Children’s Play: Supervise, Praise, Intervene
How to enjoy, not destroy, children's play.
How adult intervention disrupts the learning (and fun!) of play
That should blow a lot of us away. We THINK parents and teachers need to be around to step in and help kids learn to get along, be fair, and share.
But in fact, in order to learn those good behaviors — those social-emotional skills — kids need to actually practice them. With parents directing all the interactions, the kids are almost passive. They are not busy problem-solving. They are creating problems that get solved by someone else.
It’s like parents playing the scales for their kids, and hoping that this teaches them piano.
Gray exults that in this instance, no adults came in and tried to improve the game or the behavior or the level of fun. (Never try to make a happy child happier is the greatest parenting advice ever.)
Which doesn’t mean there were no arguments, or cries of “That’s not fair!” But I’m sure the kids figured it all out.
Because Gray sure didn’t.
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