Social Anxiety is the fear of being seen negatively, judged, or humiliated by others. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, around 15 million adults experience social anxiety, and although it is not known what causes this, it usually comes about during puberty. Many deal with their social anxiety for over ten years before ever seeking treatment. This is due to many sufferers and their peers blaming it on the person just being overly shy. However, social anxiety is an actual disorder that negatively affects the quality of life of the sufferer and severely holds them back much more than a person who would be who is just shy. People with social anxiety tend not to do well in academic or occupational settings with large amounts of people. They typically suffer from a low self-worth even when they know their fear is invalid and feel powerless over their disorder. Many social anxiety sufferers have many feelings regarding themselves and their environment that make them identify with their disorder. Here are the top 10 common feelings among social anxiety sufferers.
- Misunderstood by others.
It is hard for someone with social anxiety to relate with others who do not have the disorder. Many of the symptoms are troubling to those without the disorder and often can be frustrating in trying to understand or work with the sufferer. Therefore, it is very hard for social anxiety sufferers to build and maintain healthy relationships. Even those who do seek therapy, have a hard time feeling comfortable with the therapist due to this and also being conditioned to being around people who have a hard time understanding. Although they exist, there are very few support groups for this disorder and proper treatment is still being looked for to this day.
Because social anxiety sufferers often feel misunderstood by the outside world, they become alienated from others. Not being able to find common ground or expressing the setbacks of the disorder to someone who does not see it the same, can become extremely overwhelming. Often times, the sufferer will decide to “give up” on making connections with others. They feel they are so different that they must be isolated. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
- Unable to live a normal life.
Because of the setbacks of the disorder, it is often that the sufferer feels that they are unable to live a normal life. This is due to having extreme difficulty in facing everyday situations, talking to people, or any other symptom of the disorder. The sufferer often times feels as though their only purpose is to fulfill the demanding needs of their disorder, leaving them feeling trapped or stuck in a vicious cycle.
Although the sufferer often knows that their thoughts are irrational, they feel trapped in a cycle of repeating behavior because they are unsure of how to handle the situation differently. Even trying to make small changes can put the sufferer on edge and they often feel forced to continue living their lives for their disorder instead of themselves.
- Sensitive to criticism.
Those who suffer from social anxiety tend to skew advice or criticism negatively. Regardless of if it was meant to be hurtful, the anxious mind processes things differently than someone without the disorder. This can lead the sufferer to avoid situations in which criticism could be brought about which eventually can lead to a lack of growth in their personal lives making their disorder even more in control.
- Easily depressed.
When a sufferer experiences a bad situation, the often replay the event over and over again in their heads. They become obsessed over their past failures and let the past affect how they handle situations in the future. Others, who were around or involved in the bad situation to the sufferer, often times do not see anything unordinary and never think about it again. However, the sufferer is led to believe everyone thinks the same as they do about the situation and this can lead the sufferer to be easily depressed and believe that people do not like them based off of this.
- Dreadful and full of worry.
Before an event, big or small, social anxiety sufferers typically try to predict the enormous amount of outcomes of how the event will turn out. Because the anxious mind is typically more negative, the possible prediction of the outcomes tend to be more negative as well. This can lead the sufferer to experience immense dread and worry for weeks before an event.
Fear of being the center of attention is one of the biggest and most impactful symptoms of social anxiety. Before a presentation, or even talking with a group of friends, can put the sufferer on edge. No matter how well the sufferer can hide their anxiety, they typically believe it is extremely noticeable. However, some social anxiety sufferers do have physical symptoms such as shaking or blushing. Therefore, their anxiety will most likely increase due to this knowledge of their own disorder.
When one has social anxiety, they often become their own worst enemy. Their fear of criticism and rejection by others becomes so strong, that they avoid many situations or opportunities. This can become extremely difficult when one wants to live a normal life and progress in their career or whatever their goals may be.
Those with social anxiety are very aware of themselves and how they are perceived by others. Regardless if people are paying attention to them, they believe that every laugh is about them and every stare is because of something they are doing wrong. There is a constant fear that every person is judging them based off how they look, what they say, etc… It becomes an obsession of the sufferer and eventually leads to a lower self-worth and extreme cases of self-consciousness.
If you or a loved one experience social anxiety, it is important to seek treatment. Do not put it off or wait for a miracle. There are many resources, treatments and therapies to turn to. It is extremely important to do as much research as possible and find a treatment option that works best for you.