Response A: "Nice job, hon!"
Response B: "Wow, what an improvement! I love how you coordinated the wall and trim colors. I noticed you've come a long way with your painting technique... not a single drip!"
Get it? Right. The more thoughtful and specific your feedback to your child's practice, the better they will respond. Take time to listen carefully and find things that you can make positive (but honest) comments on, even if other aspects of the playing were weak. If you are part of a Suzuki program and practice daily with your child, consider this YOUR practice time to master the art of positive reinforcement.
Imagine your child just finished playing "Go Tell Aunt Rhody" on the violin and there was a SERIOUS problem with her second finger placement so that every C# sounded flat. You may sigh to yourself, "Arggh, didn't we just spend the entire focus of her lesson on this very issue? Can't she hear how out of tune it sounds? We need to fix this before her next lesson or the teacher is going to think we didn't practice at all!"
Which response do you think would be more likely to encourage your child to work on her second finger placement?
Response A: "Meghan, that was good, but your finger number 2 needs to be higher. Don't you remember working on this in your lesson? Are you focusing?"
Response B: "I noticed you kept your posture really tall for the whole song. You worked so hard on that last month with Lightly Row and now you're already doing it on a new song! I could tell you were thinking about your bowing too. Good for you. Your teacher wants you to work this week on getting finger two on the tape. Let's play a game. You get a point for every C# that is in tune, and you can pick out a sticker for every 5 points you get."
Your child loves it when you notice what they do really well during practice. In fact, students will often give you MORE of what you praise in their playing! They are also much more open to working on another aspects of playing after being acknowledged for their efforts.
Have you tried "Response B"? Let us know how it works for you. We love your feedback, questions and comments.