by Ailey Hines, Move Beyond Words
Decisions caused much angst in my life from a very young age. Regardless of the importance of the decision, I always felt the responsibility to make the “right” decision. Making a decision could feel like being on a cliff’s edge!
On the other hand, when offered a choice, I felt honored and special. “You choose” meant the offering of more than one thing, and that felt rich. I get to choose this or that, my choice!
What’s the difference? Why does it feel like there is so much at stake when I am asked to decide and it feels like an opportunity when I am asked to choose? Am I conditioned to feel pressure when making a decision, or to feel I have an opportunity when making a choice?
I found answers to my questions about these two words in their origin. These words, as many do, came from other languages and held a somewhat different meaning than what may be intended in today’s world. Yet I believe the original meaning has an impact in how we express ourselves and how that expression is perceived.
The original meaning of the word “decide” comes from two different aspects: The beginning is “de-,” which means “to cut.” Meanwhile, “-cide” is a suffix that often means kill, cut, or slay.
It looks to me that when I decide, I first cut off something, then kill it. What is it I am cutting off and killing? (Back to this later.)
I know I like to choose and consider it an opportunity. So when I looked into the definitions of “choose” I found they include “seek out,” “select,” “decide,” “test,” “taste,” “try,” “accept,” and “approve.”
So the word “decide” is in the mix of those defining “choose;” however, “choose” is not part of the origin or even the definition of “decide.” Perhaps that is a clue. When choosing, we test, taste, accept, approve, select, seek out, and “decide” for now. This all implies to me that what I choose in this moment, I am selecting what seems to be a good choice for now…and leaving choices available to me again in the future.
Not so when I decide. What am I cutting off and killing? By deciding, I am cutting off and killing all the things I am not choosing. When I decide, I am killing off my choices. Decisions feel final, just like death.
Am I conditioned to feel the pressure of deciding because of the origin of the word, whether I am consciously aware of it or not? I think the angst I feel when I am asked to decide runs deeper.
Other words that use the suffix “cide” include: insecticide, pesticide, herbicide, genocide, homicide, and, of course, suicide. Wow. These words imply killing insects, pests, plants, and people in various ways. I think that the word “decide,” sounding so much like the others, carries the same implications and that affects how I feel when I use the word.
No wonder an effort to decide something carries such weight!
So, do I decide and kill off my choices, or do I choose and leave the ones not selected at this time available to me at a later date?
I choose to choose, most of the time. Seeking out the choices when there seems to be only one way to go presents a challenge at times.
Then there are times when a decision must be made. While I enjoy the luxurious feeling I perceive when I am choosing, I recognize that those times I make a decision I eliminated other choices — and this conscious move to decide defines a line in the sand for me: what I did before this decision and what I am doing now.
Some decisions come to be after a series of choices.
I think that decisions become easy to make once we recognize there are choices available, and after making conscious choices.
About your business…
Offering your clients and potential clients choices opens possibilities for them and for you.
First choice: The opportunity to work with you. You offer something special, something only you offer in your own way. Remember: That’s why you do what you do!
To engage with a new client, let them know what choices you offer. You may have a one-time offer, a small ongoing offer, or a big offer that changes lives. As your relationships with your clients grow, your choices grow for both you and your client.
We all love choices.
Choose to envision what your life will be like with your ideal clients choosing to work with you…
Ailey Hines, Move Beyond Words
Always fascinated with words, Ailey believes magic lies within each of us and and most of us rely on words to reveal our magic to others. In her work as a co-creative communications strategist, Ailey asks intuitive questions, subtly shifting her clients’ focus to a clear, bold truth.