When children misbehave in public, others watch parents discipline their children. Parenting is a tough job, but it’s even more difficult when there is an audience.
At home, parents can set limits and discipline when needed, perhaps using a time-out chair to calm down an angry or frustrated child. In public, however, some parents feel the pull between wanting to minimize the public disruption and solve the problem as quickly as possible, versus solving the problem in a way consistent with family rules, which may take longer.
According to Angela Reinhart, University of Illinois Extension family life educator, inconsistent discipline can actually encourage the children’s behaviors that parents want to reduce. Making threats and failing to follow through reinforces the idea that threats are meaningless and there will be no consequences for bad behavior. Likewise, if parents give in to their child’s demands and tantrums, they are teaching that children can always have their way if they make enough noise.
Ms. Reinhart said successful parenting in public starts in the home. She suggested parents set basic rules about behavior that is and is not acceptable. Before leaving home, parents should remind the kids about the rules. Parents can set up the situation ahead of time so they’ll stay calm and not end up yelling.
Other tips from Ms. Reinhart are:
■ Know when your child may become tired or hungry and avoid outings during those times. Select the time of day when kids are most alert.
■ Maintain self-control. If the child misbehaves, stay calm and take him or her aside to talk about the behavior.
■ Resist the urge to name-call. If a child’s meltdown is beginning, leave the area and sit in the car or other quiet place to help the child calm down.
Some behaviors that are normal for young children may be bothersome for adults. Pick your battles wisely. The behavior may seem annoying, but if it is not harmful, it may not be worth the battle. At the same time, though, parents should step in when children are being disruptive to others.
Finally, Ms. Reinhart recommended having a sense of humor when out in public with children who misbehave. It may help to realize that with children, these things happen.
KAREN THOMAS is a family and consumer sciences educator for Penn State Extension in Lackawanna County.