Exclusion, teasing, humiliation, taunting at the hands of peers. These are, sadly, common experiences for many students every day. Harassment at the hands of one’s classmates is observed across cultures, genders, and ages.
Among the first researchers to study peer victimization is Dr. Dan Olweus. He defined bullying as repeated exposure over time to negative actions on the part of one or more students. Dr. Olweus emphasizes that the actions are carried out repeatedly and over time, and also adds that there is an imbalance of power; that is, it is not easy for the student to defend himself or herself because the bully has some form of power over them. Power can come in different forms, such as physical advantage, social standing, or larger numbers.
Discovering that your child is a victim of peer harassment can be devastating. The heartbreak of sending her to school every day knowing she faces hostility and humiliation is overwhelming. It is a fundamental human right for a child to feel safe in school and not to be afraid of being harassed or degraded. As time goes on, parents wonder how far they should go to try and protect their child. How much should she be left to learn to solve these problems on her own or should you try a new school to get a fresh start?
Whether the thought comes as a knee-jerk reaction to hearing about bullying, or whether it feels like the last resort, many parents wonder if moving their child to another school will stop their victimization.
Unfortunately, while research reveals that a change in classrooms can often result in a change in social role, the role of the victim is the usually stable (Salmivalli, 2001). Whether it is insecurity and fear about new classmates, the difficulty of entering a new social group, or a child’s particular characteristics, changing schools is not likely to mean an end to bullying. As well, communities often overlap and adding in the world of social media may mean that a new classroom isn’t quite the fresh start you thought it would be.
Given this information, changing schools should be seen as a last effort and one that should be taken only when the situation is at the point where everything has been attempted and a drastic change is necessary. The following sections describe other ways to address bullying. Even if a child does change schools because of bullying, it is essential to continue to work to prevent future victimization.
School & Classroom Assessment
Most, if not all, schools will have a policy or initiative about anti-bullying. These prevention programs usually involve education of teachers on how to intervene, as well as classroom education for students to prevent or stop bullying among them. Unfortunately, sometimes teachers and school staff are unaware of bullying that takes place, so it is important to meet with them to let them know your concerns and to collaborate in how to improve your child’s school experience.
Individual Problem Solving
Eliminating bullying is the ideal, but the reality is that children and adolescents will still experience it and having coping and problem solving strategies will help to protect them. Work with your child to understand what their natural reactions are in situations and make a plan with concrete steps to help him be prepared if it happens again. An effective plan will have solutions that your child is comfortable doing, and has contingencies for possible actions (using an “if… then” frame). For example, “If [bully] calls me a bad name, then I will ignore her and move to another part of the playground”.
What makes an individual at risk for victimization is a complex question. Put simply, there are characteristics (physical and behavioural) that tend to attract harassment from peers. Some of these factors are: Physical weakness, internalizing problems (anxious, withdrawn, insecure), externalizing problems (attention-seeking, disruptive, argumentative), low self-concept. It is not fair that a student may attract bullies because of these attributes, but it may be a signal that your child is struggling in other areas such as social skills, behaviour regulation, or emotional distress.
While it may be difficult to read that the role of the victim is often stable despite classroom or school changes, Dr. Olweus’s research followed-up with a group of former school victims at age 23 and found that in many ways, their anxiety, assertiveness, and stress levels were the same as their non-victimized peers. Many victims are able to overcome their current troubles and thrive into adulthood.
Source: Juvonen, J., & Graham, S. (2001). Peer harassment in school: The plight of the vulnerable and victimized. New York: Guilford Press.
By Kristi Macdonald