Who am “I”? What is “I”? At a very early age in life, we develop a sense of “I-ness” but we don’t start out this way. We begin in a dream, in a place of wonder, where we’re connected to every living thing. Over time we separate ourselves and lose much of the vital spirit that connects us to the web of life. How do we regain this vital part of ourselves?
In the Beginning, We’re One With Everything
Current scientific knowledge around brain development shows that when we’re born, the brain is in the theta state which means that we’re essentially dreaming life. The right hemisphere of the brain which is associated with a state of one-ness with all things is predominately active. We don’t know the difference between ourselves and everything around us. We don’t understand that we can experience pain from things that happen to us. We don’t understand that we can inflict pain on others. Have you ever seen a baby pull the hair of a person or animal? They don’t realize that there’s a difference between the animal and themselves. They don’t understand the source of pain, nor that they can inflict it.
As the baby gets older, it learns to walk and talk, and then starts to see “imaginary” friends. They start to see others as separate because they start to develop their own identity. As children develop their identities, they do so by comparison. They compare themselves to their peers and their siblings. This creates a library or database of concepts that they associate with the idea of self. All of these database entries go into the left hemisphere of the brain. The left hemisphere is associated with reflecting on the past and comparing what we’re experiencing with previous experiences. This association becomes our personality as we learn our likes and dislikes based on what we consider good or bad for us. The sense of oneness is how we start and along the way we lose this. We progress from theta, to alpha by the time we’re 7, and then to beta as our normal awakened state by the time we’re 14 years old. Once beta becomes our normal, we only experience alpha when we’re in a deeply relaxed for focused state, and theta when we’re asleep and dreaming.
This indicates that as we grow older, we’re actually waking up from a dream. In dreams you can do anything. You can fly, you can transform into something else. Senses are heightened. You can be anywhere, and change locations instantly. As we get into adulthood, we lose the ability to do these things as a matter of brain development and social conditioning. We become more responsible with the actions of our lives as we start to develop our sense of “I-ness.” Concurrently, modern society insists upon removing the imagination and replacing it with verifiable “facts” to help us adapt to the world of political and consumerist structure. Often what gets lost is the child-like qualities of seeing things with a fresh perspective, being nonjudgmental, the ability to imagine the world into being, and the identification that we’re all connected, the sense of “we.”
Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist did a Ted talk about her experience with a stroke that disabled the left hemisphere of her brain. This loss of left brain function caused her to slip in and out of a state of consciousness that prevented her from seeing the difference between her and the phone that she was trying to make an emergency call from. Her sense of one-ness was heightened while her sense of “I-ness” was disabled.
In the Middle, We’re Separate
Our identity matures over time until we fully develop our personalities. Sometimes we have wonderful qualities that are truly admirable. We’re able to create at levels that inspire and move people with visual, audial, and presentational mediums. We write moving speeches, and instigate change with our political expertise. We evoke awe in others thru our physical abilities. However, we can also develop personalities that cripple others with our words and remarks. We can be so wrapped up in our greed and malice that others suffer from our robbing and taking. We can instill fear in others thru our need to control and desire to create conflict. Many of the darker sides of the human psyche or shadow happen as a result of not fully comprehending the similarities between ourselves and others. Often, people don’t develop empathy or the understanding that our actions affect others. They remain like the child in the theta state that never develops the awareness that they can be the cause of pain in others, usually because they’re in denial of their own pain from childhood that hasn’t been addressed.
Imagine, for moment, what it would be like if you had no concept that your yelling obscenities at the person next to you would elicit a reaction from them. Imagine that while you’re yelling at them and making fun of them, that they remain motionless, stoic, like stone, completely unfazed by your comments and your yelling. Now, who do you know like that? Probably no one. But that’s how many people without empathy treat others. They don’t understand the impact they have on others. They sometimes choose to harm others in the same way they’ve been harmed. They don’t understand that the world isn’t all about them. They have problems feeling the pain in others because they’ve shut themselves down from feeling their own pain. They inflict their woes on others. They get so caught up in the “self”, the “I”, that they forget about the “we.” The “AM” gets distorted. Their sense of who they are is similar to an island armed with artillery to keep out invaders, and missiles that attack anything that surrounds them. This is the personality that’s stuck in “I”, whose “AM” is isolated and stuck in the defensive or offensive modes.
The Way to Heal is to Become NoThing
To be nothing means to empty yourself of the “self” or the “I.” When you tear down the personality that you’ve built up for all the years you’ve been alive, you start to recognize the personalities in others. You become more aware of the importance of caring and sharing, of feeling what’s happening inside another person. When you’re empty of your own needs and desires, you can be filled with the needs of others. You develop compassion for the struggles that others are experiencing. From that place, you can make decisions that don’t just serve you and your life, but take into account of the lives of others. You develop insight and intuition into the global needs of humanity, putting other people’s needs into account with your words and actions. Imagine the burdens that might be lifted from your shoulders around self expectation. Imagine the relief of freeing yourself from obligating the world to be something other than what it is. Imagine releasing yourself from the endless striving to be something in the future that you’re not right now.
Relax and listen to this 5 minute meditation that can be replayed in your own mind at anytime in any place to build your empathy and integration with the world around you.
In the End, We’re Everything
Once you’ve emptied yourself of the pressures of trying to figure everything out in life, and just learn to be in the moment, you can make choices from your inner guidance system.
Studies have shown that people on their deathbeds start to regain their sense of oneness. That’s why people often start forgiving people they’ve held lifelong grudges with. Often, people realize that the sense of love between all people is the most important lesson that they were ever to learn here on Earth. So what got in the way? Your freedom opens up a new state of being where you realize that everything you do and say reflects itself in the world around you.
Try this out: the next time you’re standing in line at a market, notice the state of the people around you. Generally, people don’t want to be in the store. They have other things on their minds. Strike up a conversation; compliment someone on something they’re wearing; help someone unload their shopping cart; make a joke with the cashier. You affect everyone around you. You can create a ripple affect that’s either full of dark energy and brooding, or joy and smiles. You can create the ripple to everyone they meet. Imagine how many people the cashier is going to help throughout the day. If you make them smile, they may just share that smile 200 times before they leave work. When everyone is smiling, imagine how much we can change the state of the world. Imagine how we’re a part of everything. The small i isn’t as important. The “AM” is the connectedness to all beings.
We can be self consumed or we can recognize our connectedness to all things. The Lakota phrase, “mitakuye oyasin” means “all my relations.” All relations includes the plants, the animals, the trees, the rocks, as well as all human beings. In the phrase is the implied relationship and interconnectedness of all things because all things have spirit. All things have life force and no one thing is greater than any other. It’s all connected by the web of life. To live in harmony with nature and with each other requires us to be in balance within ourselves. To balance the “I” and “i” or “We”; to balance the “i Am” with “I be.”
 The brain creates measurable electro-magnetic oscillations that differ depending on what the brain is focused on doing at the moment. It’s like a light bulb whose brightness is gradually dimming from full brightness to completely off at a rate noticeable to the naked eye. The central nervous system of our bodies is doing this all the time and it’s activity can be measured by an EEG. There are 5 main states or operating modes and these are the oscillation ranges:
- Gamma – 30Hz and up – language, memory, higher function
- Beta or 13-30Hz – wide awake, regular daily activity
- Alpha or 8-13Hz – relaxed and creative
- Theta or 4-8Hz – light sleep, extreme relaxation, hypnosis, dreaming
- Delta or .2-4Hz – deep dreamless sleep