Take care of your emotions- parents are human beings. When humans are tired, worried or overwhelmed they get upset, irritated and down more easily. It is not a luxury... it is a necessity for parents to take care of themselves, sleep, exercise, enjoy, if they wish to be able to handle difficult and emotional situations.
Pause- when things are heating up we tend to immediately respond- and these responses are usually far from being effective or regulating. The good old count to 3 tip is really the best thing you can do to help yourself and your child.
Remember- you’re the adult- when your child melts down it means he/she has a hard time containing their own emotions.
Listen to child's emotions- try to understand what’s going on. Emotions don’t just emerge - there is a reason. Think why your child is experiencing these big emotions and help your child to feel understood so you can manage the situtiaon better.
Listen to your emotions- why am I so upset? Maybe I am anxious? Worried? Disappointed or even feel helpless? When you think about your emotions it will help you to feel less upset.
Name the emotions- most children don’t know what they feel and why and are unable to verbally express how they feel. Don’t expect kids to tell you how they feel and why.
Don’t walk on eggshells- you are trying to prevent an undesirable emotional reaction but actually you are conveying the message that both of you can’t handle big emotions. It is scary for the child and chances the explosion. But when it comes, you will be stronger.
Less “doing” more “being”- parents of children with special needs are very often caught in the day to day tasks and “needs to be done” endless list. Just being together with your child helps all systems to calm down and be reminded what you love about each other.
Have fun with your child- there is nothing more connecting, elevating and encouraging than enjoying and experiencing positive emotions and goofing around with your child. Laugh and have fun!
Get support- talking to a good friend, a therapist or a group of other parents who are going through similar challenges. This often helps parents to regulate their emotions better, which means their kids feel better