Student or Learner
Topic: In cambodia, parents arrange marraige for their children. In your opinoin what are the advantages and disadvantages of the arranged marriage?
Marriage is commonly defined as the relationship between two people of opposite sex known as husband and wife, and it is a key to bring them happiness. Therefore, choosing a husband or wife is one of the important decisions for everyone’s life because a marriage can bring either a happy life or an unhappy life. In many countries in the world, and especially in western countries, men and women can choose their own partner. In contrast, in some countries like Cambodia, parents generally arrange their children’s marriage. However, if we take a closer look at arranged marriages, there are some contrasting ideas about them in our society. We can easily acknowledge that parents have more life experience, but this does not necessarily assure that they will always choose the right spouse for their children. In fact, the arranged marriage has three advantages and three disadvantages.
The first advantage of the arranged marriage is having a good financial security and living condition. Of course, money doesn’t automatically bring good happiness, but the lack of money can cause lots of troubles in the family and stresses in any relationship. In Cambodian tradition, parents often involve transfers of property to their married children, and hopefully they wish to bring their children with a very good financial and living condition. For example, some Cambodian parents give property such as house, land, money and jewelry to the new couple after getting married, and they have an important role in solving any problems happening to their married children. In addition, parents have greater life experiences than their children; therefore, they can usually make better decision or judgment. For instance, In Cambodian culture, many parents always think carefully about whom their children should marry, and most of their thoughts focus on financial situation, family status and individual behavior because they strongly believe that if their children get married to a husband or wife who has these things ,problem will not happen.
The second advantage of the arranged marriage is that children can bring gratefulness and honor to their family. Cambodian people believe in Buddhism. In Buddhism, people believe in returning gratitude to their parents, and children have an obligation to maintain their family’s honor. Marrying into a good family is considered to be a way of returning gratitude to parents, especially for a young girl. Moreover, getting married to someone that is arranged by parents is recognized that children obey Khmer traditional culture and respect their parents gratefully. For example, when a daughter get married to a man that is selected by her parents, she will be considered a grateful daughter because everything she behaves doesn’t go against Khmer tradition.
The third advantage is that parents can end a very big and important duty in their life. Traditionally, it is an obligation for Cambodian parents to choose and arrange marriage for their children so that their family’s reputation and honor can be retained. Generally, Cambodian children live with their parents until they get married, and parents have a lot of responsibilities for their children. Choosing marriage partner for their children is one of the most important responsibilities during their life. For instance, from the time their children were born to the time they get married parents have to do a lot of duties such as taking care of their children’s health, earning money to support the basic needs and education for their children, and looking for children’s marriage partner too. After getting married, children have their own responsibilities and they have to follow the ways their parents behave toward them. Therefore, parents do not need to be responsible for such heavy burdens anymore.
Although arranged marriage has advantages, there are three serious disadvantages of it. The first disadvantage of arranged marriage is having bad impacts on couple. Obviously, arranged marriage is usually arranged by parents. However, this is an individual’s marriage and even an opinion about this marriage is not asked individually. Hence, a daughter or son marry to the one they even don’t know or meet before. After marriage, they can understand that their husband or wife doesn’t have the characteristic which they are looking for. Consequently, this can cause a lot of problems in the family such as domestic violence, having no happiness, and ruining couple’s future as well. In addition to domestic violence and having no happiness, the rate of getting divorce is increased, for they don’t have a good relationship with each other and very often they make troubles. Because of the everyday problems that they can’t persist they have to live separately or get divorce. Furthermore, couple’s future can also be ruined. For example, a husband or wife has fallen in love with someone else, so they do not want to live or share relationship and time with the one that get married. They sometimes ran away from home or commit suicide if their parents or family put too much pressure or force them to continue living with their partner.
The second disadvantage of the arranged marriage is that family’s reputation and honor can be suffered indirectly by couple. According to the above disadvantage, husband and wife can cause seriously to their family. For instance, at the time a daughter or son runs away from home either before or after marriage, both husband and wife families’ reputation are ruined. Relatives and neighbors might look down on parents. Sometimes people may insult that parents can’t educate children well. One more thing that is even more shameful is that the bride or groom runs away from home on the wedding day. This is a problem that we all often hear and meet in our society.
The last disadvantage of arranged marriage is having bad influences on our society. Although having no happiness or relationship and getting divorced are individual problems, these still effect indirectly to the society. When there is an increase of divorce rate, the number of widows will increased because men are much easier to find a new partner, whereas widows are very difficult to find another new partner to spend the rest of their life with. That’s why the government is now concerning about the widows’ living condition. Moreover, many widows have to be responsible for everything in order to survive. In the case of having children, widows have a heavier burden. Anyway, it not surprised that children have metal injury. They can be easily influenced by gangsters and start making bad friends at school. When they have a lot of bad friends, they may start using drug. Finally, they will become the real gangsters and start stealing money or property from home and committing crime. As the result, this can decrease the amount of human resource and the government has to spend more money on building habitation center for drug addicts and developing more human resources.
All over, even though arranged marriage has advantages and disadvantages, many Cambodian people still follow this tradition. If we compare the arranged marriage system in the past, the arranged marriage system nowadays has slightly changed. At least people can see their husband or wife before marriage, and they gets a choice of whom they will marry. Their parents just introduce each person to each other, but there is no force involved. In my opinion, the two partners should make the ultimate decision; however, it is also important to take the approval of parents because without parents’ consent the marriage doesn’t go further.
It's awfully dense. Some points:
this does not necessarily assure [ensure] that they will always choose the right spouse for their children.
• verb 1 tell (someone) something positively to dispel doubts.
• verb 1 make certain that (something) will occur or be so
children can bring gratefulness and honor to their family.
It is not clear what you think “gratefulness” means ; children can bring honor to the family and show OR express gratitude to their parents.
Bring and return gratitude is not good English – we show OR express gratitude
The third advantage is that parents can end a very big and important duty in their life.
Is this advantage one of the arranged marriage or one for the parents? It seems to me to be more an advantage for the parents.
When there is an increase of divorce rate, the number of widows will
Widows are women whose husbands have died. Do you mean “divorcée(s)”? If so, then for the purpose of your argument you need to rewrite this paragraph using that word or the phrase “divorced mothers” or “divorced women”,