Hybrid parenting is fortunate and grateful to have Shaina Khan as a curator.
Shaina is also a fifth grade teacher for Cupertino Union School District and author of the book Mirror of the Mind. Shaina is a second-generation South Asian American who has lots of experience providing tips to parents on how to raise children in our multicultural world today! We got to ask Shaina some questions to learn a little bit more about her and how she addresses diversity in her day-to-day life.
1. How do you define yourself based on your race, ethnicity, culture or religion?
Ethnicity wise I define myself as being Bangladeshi American. Although I am Muslim that is usually not what I use to identify myself unless someone asks what my faith is.
2. What were some challenges of growing up as a Bangladeshi Muslim American?
Like any other Muslim South Asian American there is a constant battle between the society we live in and the one we are raised in. I lived in a sheltered environment and was not allowed to participate in many of the common activities a typical American would normally take part in. Things such as dating or going to Prom were seen as being inappropriate. When it came to attending college or choosing a profession, there were certain cultural guidelines. Anything outside of engineering, science, business etc. was seen as being useless.
3. What were some cultural celebrations that you celebrated in America? How did you celebrate them?
Culturally, we would celebrate events such as the Bangla New Year and Bangladesh’s Independence Day as a community. For these events, the local cultural organizations such as BABA (Bay Area Bangladesh Association) would hold functions. Sometimes, smaller gatherings are held in a homely atmosphere where people dress up in saris and panjabis while people sing songs and eat the different cultural foods. The Bangla New Year is a celebration of a new season while, Bangladesh’s Independence day is more of a patriotic/historic event.
As Muslims, we celebrate Eid-ul-Fitr after fasting during Ramadan. A few months later, we celebrate Eid-ul-Adha. For both days, there is a morning prayer at the mosque and afterwards people visit each other’s homes and eat to their hearts delight. The main difference is that Eid-ul-Adha is also a celebration of sacrifice where one must sacrifice an animal in the name of God and then share that with those who are less fortunate.
4. What are some common stereotypes that come across about your race, ethnicity, culture or religion?
Culturally speaking the stereotypes are: we are all engineers or in the medical field, we have arranged marriages, we have “accents”
Religion-wise: we are terrorists, we have to be subservient to our spouses
5. As an educator, how do you address race, ethnicity, culture at school? and are there any limitations or challenges that you encounter in a school setting?
I do like to acknowledge the diverse cultural backgrounds that exist in my classroom. Usually, during celebrations such as International Day I encourage students to dress up in cultural clothes and share something important from their culture. I encourage them to write about their cultural experiences during journal time. Informally, I may ask them about their family traditions during a class discussion.
While teaching 2nd grade we read a story in Open Court called “Jalapeno Bagels” and the main character was a biracial boy who came from two different cultures (Jewish and Hispanic). That story sparked a discussion about culture especially from the children who could relate to the main character because they were also from two or more different cultural backgrounds.
The more I can connect my student’s home life to the academic material—the more meaningful it will be for him/her. The main limitation I face in a school setting is the lack of time and focus on testing which takes away from spending more time on creative discussions and activities.
5. How can parents help address some of these common stereotypes or misunderstandings about your culture?
Parents can help address stereotypes by teaching children that it is not right to judge others without getting to know them first. Parents should also show children how to show respect towards everyone even if they might be different from them. Exposing them to different cultural experiences will not only be enriching but educational as well.
6. What is your favorite children’s book about your culture?
Unfortunately, there were no books with South Asian characters that I came across as a child. The only children’s book with a South Asian character I have ever read is “It’s Time For Holi!” by Amita Roy Shah
7. Anything else you wish to address with our hybrid parents who are consciously raising children in a multicultural world?
Show respect. This is something that needs to be taught at a very young age. As adults, if we can show respect and tolerance towards those who are different from us then our children will learn to emulate that. Simply telling them to respect others is not enough—it needs to be shown through actions.