Learn how to set personal boundaries with these 5 proven methods
Personal boundaries are crucial for healthy relationships and a healthy life. Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits that you set to protect yourself from being manipulated by anyone else. They allow you to truly know who you are, and how you think and feel, without the influence of others. Without them, you can’t build healthy relationships as you’re not in control of your own life. You are unique and have your own emotions and thoughts, and this is what you need to communicate with others to set your personal boundaries.
The top 5 ways to establish healthy personal boundaries
1. It’s your right to set your personal boundaries
You need to know it’s ok to have personal boundaries. If you don’t have boundaries that protect and define you (your identity), you leave yourself open for others to define who you are. You must take responsibility for how others treat you and allow your boundaries to permit what is acceptable in your life and what is not.
2. Your feelings and needs ARE important
You need to know that other people’s needs and feeling are no more important than your own. For example, a mother will often put the needs of her husband and children before herself. Over time, she’ll become worn out mentally and physically from putting everyone else first and the entire family dynamic will suffer as a result. Everyone should be encouraged to contribute and take care of themselves.
3. You can say NO
When you’re a ‘people-pleaser’, you’ll find it hard to say no. You’ll try to please everyone as you don’t want to be selfish or perhaps you feel people will reject you. When you put your own needs on the back burner, it’s not beneficial to your health. Learn to say no and be a little selfish – it’s healthy for personal boundaries.
4. Learn what behaviours you find unacceptable
If someone crosses the line and disrespects you, let them know. Don’t be scared to tell them. When you’re aware of your personal boundaries, you’ll know what actions you’ll need to take if your wishes aren’t respected.
5. Believe in yourself
You’re the boss of you! You know yourself better than anyone else. Only you really know your values and your needs. Don’t allow others to make these decisions for you. Playing the victim or being needy will throw you into an unhealthy balance. Instead, setting healthy boundaries will help you respect your strengths and abilities.
How do you know if you’ve set healthy personal boundaries?
It’s never too late to work on setting your own personal boundaries. This isn’t something you imitate from anyone else, as your boundaries will be unique to you. You’ll know when you’ve set healthy personal boundaries as: you’ll have improved self-confidence, you’ll be in touch with reality, you’ll be able to communicate well with others, you’ll have amazing relationships and you’ll have a feeling of control over your life.
It takes time to set effective personal boundaries
There’s an art to setting personal boundaries for your own well-being and protection. Before you can set your boundaries, you need to learn self-awareness and be aware that setting boundaries is not selfish. It will build your self-esteem every time you say yes to yourself and no to others. But this can take encouragement to make yourself a priority.
Over to you
Have a go at setting your own personal boundaries. If you need a talk through how to make this work for you, or how to push back when people push your limits, chat to me.
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