Here’s the final topic covered in “Attention” out of the book.
Observing is a major component of attention. Through its practice we could gain the knowledge necessary for understanding how to react during some of the situations involving our spouse or companion. It can aid us in realizing exactly how they would like to be treated if certain circumstances arise or begin to show us what should be said, not be said, and how to say it. Becoming aware of what an individual’s characteristics entail and their preferences will allow you to gather the information necessary to satisfy them attention wise. Observation is the key. Taking notice of certain reactions or habits may permit you to react correctly during inherent behavioral patterns. It’s never a matter of right or wrong, just a way to arrange subsequent situations through a better perspective.
You must note, however, that observing means to watch without any active participation. Watching people is fairly similar to examining a sunrise or a sunset. Nearly all of them can be beautiful, but they are never the same from one day to the next. The sky can also be rough and gloomy looking at times. The last thing you probably want to do is watch during bad weather, but learning from it is just as advantageous as watching a beautiful, multihued one.
Try to remember, that it is essential to notice any distinct differences in your mate. This allows you to understand mood swings or anger, as well as their happiness or delight. You may not be able to join in or alleviate them on a regular basis, but foresight is the major issue here. You need the capability to better recognize why certain emotions surface and how to be included or assist in improving them at some point in the relationship.
Your mate need not always be aware of the observation; it should be the attention you exhibit that they recognize. Even strangers will warm up to you more rapidly through some personalized surveillance tactics. When you first encounter someone any action is better than none. The idea here is to be noticed for your keen sense of intuition.
Again, during the observation phase, you cannot participate in any way. You just want to notice things, little things if necessary. Things other people might not. Generally, this will display some intensive thought and consideration into the relationship on your part.
Everyone benefits from feeling wanted, needed, and loved. These emotions are a big part of the essence in our lives and a healthy part of who we are. Through attention we can learn more on how to strengthen these emotions and the reactions that emanate from them. Successful relationships contain many of the factors mentioned involving “attention” if not all of them. Through common courtesies, a little consideration, some gallantry and a lot of observation you may reap the benefits of a long and prosperous relationship.