Depression can occur at almost
any phase of life. However, it can have a special impact if it occurs in
the parent of young children.
Postpartum depression is the
best-known form of parental depression. However, depression can strike men
and women at other times too. Depression can make it difficult for a
parent to develop a close, nurturing attachment to a young child. A
depressed parent may be less vigilant about safety issues, or may, on the
other hand, worry excessively about the child’s safety. Depressed
individuals are more likely to feel hopeless and apathetic about
parenting, and thus neglect a child. An irritable, depressed parent might
actually abuse a child. t a child. Depression can sap the parent of the
energy necessary to play with an active child. If the depression leads to
alcohol abuse, family problems multiply.
Children of depressed parents are
more likely to have behavioral problems, learning difficulties, and peer
problems. They are more likely to become depressed themselves. Children
may have difficulty understanding cause and effect. Thus, they may blame
themselves for the parent’s depression, irritability and withdrawal.
Why might parents become
depressed? Some parents are unprepared for the hard work involved in
raising a child. They may be cut off from their own extended family and
lack good parental role models. Childcare duties may cause the parent to
become increasingly socially isolated. With fewer daily adult contacts,
the parent has fewer voices to counter his or her depressive thoughts.
Parents who work outside the home may also experience stress. The dual
demands of work and home may lead to sleep deprivation and exhaustion,
leaving him more vulnerable to depression and medical illness.
Some adults have unresolved
issues from their own childhood. They may have pushed these memories
“under the rug.” Having a child or adolescent may bring back vivid
memories from when the parent was that age.
It is important for parents to
seek treatment for their depression. Once the depression lifts, they will
be able to enjoy their child, bond more closely and empathize with the
child’s emotions. The healing process may involve reaching out to
friends and family for support.
If the parent enters
psychotherapy, it may give him a second chance to resolve issues from his
own childhood. The parent may gain a greater understanding of the
child’s internal experiences when he examines his own. A parent who has
worked through a depression may have special empathy for the child’s sad
or anxious moods.