The Middle Ages weren't all about the Black Plague and the Crusades. In fact, the Middle Ages — specifically the High of the Mediaeval times — were also an amazing time to be alive.
Just imagine how rad life would be in the '90s — the 1190s, that is. Kings and damsels, court feasts, and some of the greatest poetry of the Western world are all part of one of the greatest periods in history.
Lords and ladies, grab yourself a leg of mutton and a stein of mead, and get ready to raise the roof. All those Hollywood misconceptions you've heard about the miserable Middle Ages can talk to the hand.
1. There were regular feasts, fairs and tournaments for people of all classes.
King Richard II of England sometimes gave royal feasts held for hundreds of guests, spread over three chambers. One in particular in 1387 featured a menu that required 140 hogs, 14 oxen, 12 calves, 12 boars and three tons of salted venison.
IMAGE: TUMBLR FILMSINMOTION
2. Animals could be put on trial for crimes.
Livestock and household pets were not above the law. Even a rooster was put on trial for "the heinous and unnatural crime of laying an egg."
IMAGE: TUMBLR STONEDGORGON
3. Even the peasants didn't work as hard as we do now.
Those lowly serfs you see depicted in Hollywood movies actually didn't have it so rough. Your typical Medieval peasant worked less than modern humans – working about 8 hours a day with plenty of time for meals and naps. Not to mention everybody in Europe was Catholic at the time, so they always had Sunday off, as well as the endless amount of saint’s days.
IMAGE: TUMBLR ASTOLDBYALEX
4. Taxes were really low.
While the percentage varied in medieval England, taxes rarely reached any higher than 15%, but usually averaged around 10%. What would Robin Hood think of today's tax rate?
IMAGE: TUMBLR TUMBLR
5. Women held a surprising amount of power.
The role of womanhood changed in the Middle Ages. Peasant women worked fields and owned businesses as men did and lot of Medieval ladies who made the history books. Joan of Arc was given full control of the French army, Eleanor of Aquintaine held as much or more power as any of her contemporary kings, and philosopher Hildegard of Bingen was a respected adviser to many world leaders.
IMAGE: TUMBLR GOLLUMPANTIES
6. Kings and queens were more than just figureheads.
Kings, damsels and princesses were a lot like the ones you see in fairytales -- at least they looked the part.
IMAGE: TUMBLR MORGRANA
7. Most people believed in fairies, witches and ghosts.
What a magical world -- as long as you weren't accused of witchcraft.
IMAGE: TUMBLR MOVIEGIFSS
8. People drank beer as a remedy for preventing illness.
To protect themselves against the Black Plague, people drank a medicinal ale mixed with crushed egg shells, marigolds, and treacle. Another round, please!
IMAGE: TUMBLR SCORPIONDAGGER
9. There was more space.
London, Paris and Ghent contained less than 40,000 residents. The world's largest cities -- Constantinople and Baghdad -- each had about a million people.
IMAGE: TUMBLR STUPIDAPE
10. The fashion was to die for.
Common fashions of the day included double-pointed headdresses, fancy hats and pointed shoes that could measure up to two feet long.
11. People were actually super clean.
Since most people believed disease was spread by foul odors, most people practiced excellent hygiene and visited common bath houses regularly.
IMAGE: TUMBLR YESLEOEVANS
12. Weapons were simpler.
The most common weapons were swords and bows and arrows.
IMAGE: TUMBLR SCORPIONDAGGER.
13. There was little unemployment.
Most people had a job to do based on class, often inherited from their parents. If a person could not go to school, they took on an apprenticeship or worked in the fields.
IMAGE: TUMBLR STRIDESTHEBEHEMOTH
14. Bread caused LSD-like hallucinations.
Most people consumed rye barley bread in the Middle Ages, which was susceptible to a poisonous fungus called ergot, which caused hallucinations, irrational behavior, convulsions and even death when ingested by humans.
IMAGE: TUMBLR MYPASTYIRISHBOY
15. Most people had nicknames instead of surnames.
Surnames didn't become common until 1066, so most people would go by a first name and a distinguishing physical feature or possibly family lineage. It was much easier to remember, and possibly funnier, too.
IMAGE: TUMBLR TUMBLR
16. Court jesters were free to speak their mind.
Being a jester wasn't a bad gig. Sometimes, they were the only person in the kingdom who could actually say anything they wanted in front of the king.
IMAGE: TUMBLR THE-ODDEST-OF-BALLS
17. Education, art, literature and the law were just beginning to blossom.
Universities began in this time, great strides art and literature such as The Canterbury Tales and the invention of the printing press were made, the Magna Carta was drafted and the concept of habeas corpus was conceived.