By Lisa M. Cope, adapted web reprint
It’s a heartbreaker. Our child comes home from school one day and says he doesn’t have any friends and that nobody likes him—the dreaded words no parent wants to hear. We’ve been there; we know how cruel it can be on the playground and how quickly friendships seem to come and go throughout life. We want to wrap up our little guy and protect him from the world, and most of all, we want to ensure that he has plenty of friends.
Every child is born with an innate need to attach or be in a relationship, but how he goes about forming those relationships depends largely on his temperament. Children can start to develop real friendships around the age of four or five. When everything goes smoothly, it can be exhilarating and great. But when we see our child hitting some bumps in the road to having his own “Best Friend Forever (BFF),” we can help.
To support the development of friendships in our child’s life, we can try some of these techniques:
There are several ways to accomplish this at home:
1. Help your child realize his own strengths.
2. Have a sense of humor about yourself and your shortcomings.
3. Listen to your child without criticism.
4. Be kind, give compliments, wave to a friend, and open the door for someone.
5. Be understanding of what others are going through by showing empathy.
6. Don’t complain. Instead, teach your child to accept what can’t be changed by working hard to change the things that can.
Learning to build friendships is one of the ways children develop into well-rounded, emotionally healthy human beings. By giving our children the skills they need to be confident and compassionate, we increase the likelihood that the friends who come into their life will provide a richness and happiness they will always treasure.
Friendship Making Skills
Here are more top friendship-making skills to model and teach your child:
• Making eye contact
• Listening to a conversation
• Resolving conflicts
• Introducing oneself
• Meeting new people
• Starting a conversation
• Joining in
• Handling rejection
• Staying calm
• Saying no
• Encouraging others
• Asking permission
• Sharing and taking turns
• Bouncing back
• Problem solving
• Using good manners
• Suggesting an activity
• Identifying emotions
• Sticking up for yourself
• Expressing feelings
• Accepting criticism
Text courtesy of Motivated magazine. Used with permission.