I am simply asking you to evaluate. The first step in making anything happen effectively is to observe and evaluate. Isn’t it true that we want to effectively parent our children?
Evaluation is a process that critically examines a program. It involves collecting and analyzing information about a program’s activities, characteristics, and outcomes. Its purpose is to make judgments about a program, to improve its effectiveness, and/or to inform programming decisions (Patton, 1987)
I am going to rewrite the definition of Evaluation in terms of parenting:
Evaluation is the process that critically examines a program (parenting). It involves collecting and analyzing information about your parenting style, characteristics, and the outcomes. Its purpose is to make judgments about your parenting, to improve its effectiveness, and/or to inform parenting decisions.
Each of us, including your children, have an emotional bank account. A bank account where deposits and withdrawals happen daily. Evaluate what fills each account (all three of my kids are different and require different types of deposits). If your parenting style is always negative and always draining your child’s account then take note of it.
What characteristics stand out when you’re parenting?
Loving and affectionate(deposit) OR judgemental and blaming(withdrawal)
Skillful Communication (empathizing or belittling)
Managing stress (your child mirrors how to handle stress)
Respect of Autonomy (allowing child’s input vs dictating rules)
Are you a good role model
Sometimes we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life that we don’t slow down enough to see what is in the way of our success. I want you to spend the week evaluating. Just evaluate. Note what parenting habits you’re seeing. Note if you’re making more deposits to or withdrawals from your child’s emotional bank account. Ready, Set, Go!