"Strategizing" involves planning to achieve a certain goal. Militarily, that would be laying out the steps to take a certain key enemy stronghold or blockade a supply point. It takes time, surveillance, information, expert strategizers and an awareness of points where things could go wrong. In business, it means finding your niche, checking out the competition, assessing the strengths of your product or service, researching the market and developing ways to introduce it for maximum effect. In chess, strategic players see several moves ahead, calculate possible opposing moves and prepare alternative moves. Master players are almost never surprised by opponents' moves because they know the board thoroughly. And every strategy involves achieving a specific goal.
"Strategizing" for college entry is fraught with difficulties, the most prominent of which is that the playing field changes constantly. Plenty of books exist to help families strategize for college acceptance. Some families start the process early by trying to get their children into the most prestigious kindergartens or private elementary schools. Tennis lessons, elaborate community service opportunities, expensive summer programs, and the most rigorous academic tracks follow, all dedicated to eventual acceptance at a top college or university.
Unlike military or business strategizing, however, elaborate planning to achieve a particular result in the world of college admission is unwise. While an assault on an enemy's position or a campaign for a new product can be successful based on the strategy employed and the relative stability of the field, a college acceptance strategy stands a much greater chance of failure, mostly because the "enemy" is almost totally unpredictable and changes its methodologies frequently. Breaching the ivy-covered walls is not simply a matter of offering up a Trojan horse or laying siege to a campus.
Planning for college does involve some strategy, but in a generalized way. It's not really possible to create a plan inevitably leading to an Ivy League school or equivalent; the odds are too great, the imponderables are too imponderable and the chess pieces have minds of their own. Here are some strategic pros and cons related to college acceptance that can help you sort out how to help your child move through the process toward a successful result.
- Finding good schools with creative, challenging curricula helps prepare students for the challenge of college and the world. Look beyond "rigor," however, to see if they include arts, personal attention and opportunities for individual expression.
- Having your child take the most challenging courses possible without being overwhelmed lays the foundation for college work. It's not necessary to take every AP or honors course.
- Encouraging children to seek out interests and challenges on their own leads to greater self-confidence, independence and involvement, all qualities colleges want to see in their applicants.
- Supporting those interests so they are both personally fulfilling and fully developed provides another opportunity for parents to help their children grow.
- Providing enough down time for recreation and recharging to keep life balanced. Independent reading, biking, hobbies and other "non-productive" activities are essential to personal happiness and development.
- Keeping "college" as a goal but not foregrounding it keeps pressure low, allowing students to focus on the present not on some distant future. In high school, approaching it as an exploration of possibilities instead of a cage match can be a net positive.
- Avoiding any focus on particular colleges, as in, "You need to be in Cub Scouts to get into Yale." The choices are vast and varied, with unique features; keeping options open makes life a lot easier.
- Working with school counselors and teachers. Usually that means letting your child handle situations like poor grades or disciplinary issues: "What can I do better?" is a great response from a student and most teachers are more than willing to help. Admitting to an infraction and taking one's lumps shows character. (Colleges are more than willing to forgive what are often teenager's mistakes, especially when students show they've taken responsibility for them.) School staff are allies, not enemies, and you'll get a lot more help this way than otherwise.
- Seeing your child as a unique individual, not a chess piece.
- Planning to get your child into a specific institution fifteen--or even five--years in the future. College admission changes, evolves, mutates every few years, as does primary and secondary education. This strategy depends on a level of clairvoyance only the mediums of The Conjuring have. Let it go.
- Insisting your child take up a sport, activity or service project because "colleges like to see that." This is a formula for resentment and cynicism on your child's part and guarantees nothing. (See #3 above instead.)
- Focusing on a limited number of colleges and universities and ignoring other excellent options. Militarily, this would be the equivalent of putting all your resources in one charge, ignoring the fact that there may be simpler and less causality-inducing ways to reach the same goal.
- Refusing to accept anything but perfection in academics, sports, activities or anything else. Generally, no one starts out perfect and we seldom reach that stage anyway. It's one reason to go to college in the first place. Let's face it, we're always trying to improve.
- Blaming teachers, counselors or schools when your child doesn't get the grade or result expected and "encouraging" the school not to report any major infractions or disciplinary actions. This strategy teaches students to avoid responsibility and put the goal over ethics.
- Mistaking your strategies and goals for your child's. Often done with the best intentions, this condition can damage relationships and lead to the opposite of what was intended.
- Relying on your alumni or development status or "whom you know" to provide the necessary push for an acceptance. Yes, it can tip the scales sometimes but admission offices are increasingly sensitive about succumbing to these pressures. They also take away from your child's own accomplishments.
- Assuming what worked for one child will work for another. Whether that child is a neighbor's or your own, trying to follow a formula will only frustrate everyone involved.
College admission will get more complex before it simplifies, so focusing on the well-being of your child instead of the intricacies of the process is your best bet for success and for your child's relationship with you and the world at large. We're always laying the groundwork for our kids' futures one way or another; making it as positive as possible in every context creates the clearest path for a happy, productive future.