|An insider who claims to have seen 'roseberry' has said it is so different to anything else it is hard to describe: "Try to imagine a bee attempting to heal a cut leg with a mixture of tree sap and a delicate ladies powder - that's the closest I can get".|
The British Colour Standards Consortium has lent its support to claims from Hugh Leatherdott, 71, that he has invented a new primary colour called 'roseberry'.
Consortium president, Professor Alvin Cromwell, announced yesterday that Leatherdott has made the most significant cricket related chromatic find since wicket keeper Len Brush discovered mauve in the 1890s: "I can confirm that this is not yet another variation of a spectrum colour. In other words, it won't be found anywhere in the rainbow.
"It almost certainly means that for the first time in recorded history a new primary colour can be added to the long agreed list of three: red, green, blue, and now 'roseberry'.
Leatherdott has revealed that his discovery was inspired by the former star Middlesex and Durham batsman, Mike Roseberry: "As usual, I was using my telescope to watch him bat at Lord's one day during his second spell at Middlesex. I was paying more attention to his face than normal as one of my friends was theorising that the Roseberry family had descended from a rare and long extinct breed of gibbons.
"I saw no evidence of this but in the course of carrying out my observation I happened to notice that his face changed into an unrecognisable colour every time he ran three. I was so intrigued by this that I got hold of a bunch of colour charts and followed him about for the rest of the season. I had little doubt that we were talking about an unrecorded primary colour.
|Leatherdott believes Mike Roseberry is more likely to be a descendent of: "a more elegant creature, maybe an ancient panther (pictured above) or a moth".|
"Mike made it clear he didn't want me to examine him in a laboratory, and when I was unable to replicate the results with other cricketers I feared that the secret would elude me forever. I had all but given up hope when some years later, whilst on holiday, I happened to chance upon a lion chasing a pig for a distance I reckoned to be sixty-five yards. Whilst the rest of the body remained pink, the pig's face had turned a bright shade of roseberry and remained so until it had recovered from its exertion.
"I now knew that roseberry wasn't some rare fluke of nature, that the colour could be reproduced; I returned home at once. It took me two years but in that time I discovered the source of roseberry and developed the necessary processing methods".
Secrecy surrounds Leatherdott's discovery and the inventor has asked for patience from the general public and an increasingly excited scientific community: "Due to health and safety concerns, it is going to take a while before I am able to exhibit the new colour.
"Unless the appropriate precautions are taken, viewing roseberry at this point in time may cause blindness, cancer, and facial blood clots. We do of course anticipate that the colour will be completely safe in the fullness of time and we have developed protective glasses as an interim safety measure. We are hopeful that the Health and Safety Executive will approve these temporary controls in the very near future".
But members of a rival industry association, the Conservative Council of Colour, remain sceptical. An anonymous member even accused Leatherdott of being a petty fraudster; and Cromwell, of complicity in the deception: "There have been numerous occasions in which Leatherdott has tried roping members of the Council into this sort of scam.
|Leatherdott attracted criticism in 1963 by claiming: "my specially fitted cricket pads let you hear the ocean from anywhere in the world".|
"The first time I came across him he had claimed to have invented the colour 'Blooch' which he maintained was a cross between a clear blue sky and Graham Gooch's moustache. There were so many others I lost count: Neil Auburns, Red Dexter, Arthur Faggenta, Lemon Tea Panesar, and so on.
"It would be forgivable if these were the delusions of an over zealous inventor but Leatherdott knows perfectly well that his discoveries lack scientific merit; his interests are purely pecuniary.
"In fact I have it on good authority that he and Cromwell have spent a lot of money buying up cheap 'X-Ray Specs' - the sort that are commonplace in joke shops. They will soon claim it is only through purchasing and wearing these that it will be possible to safely view roseberry".
Leatherdott has been quick to dismiss such criticism: "The Conservative Council of Colour didn't want to work with me. Now they regret turning me down, and the bitterest of those bearing grudges are intent on discrediting me.
"It is true that until such time as we find a way of reducing our safety concerns, protective glasses will need to be worn; but if I was motivated by greed I would have struck a deal with Asda by now.
Instead, and in an effort to keep costs low, safety glasses and other bargains including roseberry coloured sea monkeys, trick soap, and fun snaps will only be available through select scientific journals or the Beano comic.