Scientists have created a hard drive out of sapphire and etched with platinum that will allegedly store data for over a million years. That's a long time. The drive was created so that governments can keep long-lasting records of where they've buried nuclear waste, that way we don't have a bunch of people unknowingly digging around and becoming superheroes all because a hard drive went bad. "I want one." I know you do, but listen: I get that you love your p0rn collection and all, but I'm not sure it's gonna appreciated by the future of civilization. After a million years of evolution humans won't even look like they do now. It would be like masturbating to a caveman.
Thanks to Jerica, who tried to sell me a treasure map to buried nuclear waste but I couldn't afford it.