In recent years, psychologists have devoted a great deal of attention to the skills involved in persuasion, both in a personal and a business context.
Books such as Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini and The Powers of Persuasion by Robert Levine have sought to understand how we can develop our communication skills in order to exert influence over the decisions people make. Here are just a few of their findings:
• Reciprocity is one of the most powerful tools of persuasion. The principle is simple: give someone a gift before you attempt to persuade them and they're much more likely to give you something back. This is why charities often send pens as a free gift with a request for donations. "Most of us are usually driven by a sense of equity and fairness," says Robert Levine. "When someone does something for us, we feel obligated to do something for them in return."
• Having something in common with the person you're trying to persuade gives you an advantage. A favourite technique of car salesmen in the 1950s was to ask the name of a prospective buyer, then declare that it was the name of his mother or wife. One study showed we were more likely to vote for someone if their name began with the same first letter as ours.
• Raising or lowering anchor points is another popular sales technique. Set your price deliberately high then, when your target looks doubtful, drop your price. The customer feels they are getting a bargain but you are still getting the price you originally wanted. Many people use this technique when selling a house. The next time you're in the supermarket, look at all the price tags that claim an item is on sale. Some things are permanently reduced, but because the tag also shows us what the higher price would be (the anchor), we think it's a good deal.
• Once someone has agreed to a deal, they're unlikely to go back on it, even if the terms of that deal change. For example, we stick with the same mobile phone contract year after year, even though we know there are better tariffs on offer. According to Robert Cialdini, this is because most of us value commitment and consistency far more than we realise. Get a colleague to agree to your idea in principle, then raise the stakes.