Sunday, September 27, 2009
Adjusting to School
When children enter a new school or child care environment emotions can run high. (for everyone). It doesn’t matter whether the child is returning to a familiar school or starting someplace new. They will be meeting new people, changing their daily routine, and discovering new ideas, skills or concepts. The unknown can be a little scary, especially when you are small.
Children have a hard time controlling their response to a new situation. As adults, we have the ability to meet children where they are emotionally to ensure that the transition to a new situation is as smooth as possible. While every child is different and will exhibit their own, unique personality, understanding how children in general develop emotionally can help us make informed choices regarding how we react to a child’s behavior.
Beginning around seven months, babies become mobile and actively explore their environments. Ten-month-old Matthew, for example, quickly scoots toward a colorful ball that has rolled into a far corner. Halfway across the room, he stops and turns toward his favorite caregiver. She smiles and says, "I see you, Matthew. I see you crawling toward that ball!" Having touched base with this important person, Matthew comfortably continues his exploration.
Children this age are also developing preferences for specific people and styles of interacting. Sixteen-month-old Sally always looks for Miss Kim when she is upset. When Miss Kim is not there, it takes Sally a little longer to pull herself together, even when she is lovingly comforted by another caregiver.
The benefits of a strong bond between a toddler and her primary caregiver far outweigh the stress caused when her primary caregiver is unavailable. And if the primary caregiver is unavailable our children will be comforted by someone else. This works especially well if communication is good between caregivers and parents.
Sarah, a feisty two-year-old, protests when Aline, her teacher, tries to coax her inside for lunch, so Aline tells her that she can go back outside right after nap. Sarah takes one last run around the play yard before she slowly walks inside. She is trusting Aline to follow through on her promise, and Aline will. They are building a relationship based on respect and trust.
Toddlers are wonderful relationship builders, especially when their expanding need for autonomy is respected. Gradually, they begin to relate the positive feelings from their first relationships to other adults and children as well.
However, they are new to all of this and can become worried or overwhelmed when they are cared for by too many adults.
Positive relationships during the first two years of life have a dramatic effect on a child's ability to empathize with and care about other people. Early bonds of love can set the stage for how children feel about later relationships.
more on this later folks....it's the weekend and my family is asking me to make pancakes. Apparently I am not going to get to finish typing this post. I hope this was helpful to someone. I've gotta run....Mommy duties prevail.