Don't Say It
by Barbara Ann Guiney
DONíT SAY IT
BARBARA ANN GUINEY
Donít say it! It might upset someone! Hide it if it makes anyone feel uncomfortable!!
Right? Isnít that what we were taught as children? Donít talk about the white elephant in the middle of the living room to anyone or you will be scolded. You may be shunned because you brought up a subject that hurts more than just you. Some people love denial. . Let that elephant stay there forever Ė generation after generation. Maybe it will magically disappear!
What could talking about it accomplish? Isnít that how we were raised? If you canít say anything nice, then donít say anything at all. It is true that there is no room for criticism in any relationship however, if people are being judged without the opportunity to speak from their heart about their feelings and beliefs, how fair is that? Donít they have a right to state their position calmly and lovingly and actually be heard?
Talking about it may hurt some people but if it hurts then there is negativity attached to it that probably wonít go away until it is acknowledged. The ego is attached if people have a hard time discussing something. It is best that a time be found when the ego is not attached so that other peopleís opinions can be heard. That is being fair, rational and just. Communication, sharing of ideas, feelings and beliefs is the key to understanding and living life peacefully. If there is alcohol or drugs involved on either side, it is best to forget hoping for a good communication since you will be talking with the drug of choice not the person. It is best to wait for the time when clear minds (minds free of drugs and alcohol) prevail and communication can be established with the real person. Unfortunately, that time may never come so you have to accept that too.
Otherwise, those people who have not been allowed to speak will never have their opinions voiced. How fair is that? What could be gained by not allowing someone to be heard? What could grow and evolve if all sides are not heard? Living in darkness only encourages the same. Letting light in can only enlighten. We let light in when we listen and speak Ė when we communicate with each other. Listening to others is an opportunity to learn and grow as human beings. When we block out anotherís opinions or our own opinions for the sake of not getting anyone upset, we live in the darkness. Only mold will growÖÖÖ.
So listen to anotherís opinions no matter how much you disagree or how much it may hurt. Examine yourself and ask why someone elseís feelings hurt you. They are not you and unless you are tied to them accepting every aspect of you, their opinion is just that Ė an opinion, not you.
Never be on the defensive so never defend yourself! However, if your intentions are honorable and you just want to explain your side of it and not hurt someone else, take a stand and be heard no matter the consequences. Otherwise, you are resigned to living your life the way the way other people want you to live it in the silence of your true self. That is not why you were given this beautiful gift called life. That gift was given only to you and no one else to express it as you see fit. You are the one solely responsible for fulfilling that gift of evolving to be a better person. You do YOU better than anyone else can do you. When you pass on to the next world, only you pass on - no one else, so therefore, you are the commander of your ship. Sail it as only you see fit. Speak your truth from your heart. Damn the Torpedoes, full speed ahead!
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