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Anger is an emotion that has the potential to teach us a lot about ourselves. Every emotion we humans have has a function. For example, when our boundaries are violated or when we are wronged, anger can help us protect ourselves if we can express our anger correctly. Don't you think anger is one of the biggest problems of our day? Anger is actually a perfectly normal and universal emotion seen in all people when properly managed. However, in most societies, anger is treated as if it was a wrong and ought not feeling.
There is a danger that uncontrolled anger can easily turn into physical or verbal violence. The main purpose in anger control; It is the ability to express one's emotions in a way that is far from aggression, does not contain violence, and does not harm the person around him or himself. So the important thing is that when we feel angry, we avoid engaging in destructive behavior because of our anger.
Some of us choose to suppress and ignore our anger because we think it will contradict the image we draw. Yet this is not a solution. The important thing in anger management is that we have the courage to analyze it without fear of our anger. Buddha, who is considered to be the world's first psychologist because he was one of the first people to study the structure of the mind in history, compares anger to an uncontrollable forest fire. According to the Buddha, uncontrolled anger has the feature of burning and destroying people very quickly, just like an out of control forest fire. So what can we do to control our anger?
I'm breathing, I know the anger is here. I exhale, I know the anger is not me. I breathe, I know anger is not a pleasant feeling. I breathe out, I know this feeling will pass. I'm breathing, I'm calm. I exhale, I'm strong enough to deal with this anger.
- Thich Nhat Hanh.
When you are angry, be patient and don't take action.
You were angry about an incident. You feel like a volcano ready to explode at any moment. Try to calm down before giving any sudden reaction you may regret later. Think of the technique I mentioned above and breathe without identifying yourself with your anger. If you have an intention to express to the person who is making you angry, how it makes you feel, don't do it without calming yourself. After you've calmed down, explain to the person who angered you in a clear, non-accusing way of how and why he made you angry. If the other person insists on not understanding you, do not extend the subject. Remember, some people will not understand us, no matter how calmly and patiently we approach things. Our task is to accept this reality and not allow those people to create even more anger in us.
Don't feed your anger
Observe your movements throughout the day for a week. Do you think you have a lifestyle that nurtures anger? For example, do you watch violent movies? Or are you having conversations with your friends that make you angry when you get together? Do you feel angry reading the malicious comments on social media? If this is the case, why would you think you live in a way that nurtures your anger? Perhaps you are self-sabotaging, and one of the ways you sabotage yourself is by putting yourself in situations that will often make you angry. As I mentioned at the beginning of my article, sometimes anger can be a useful emotion for us to protect ourselves. But if anger has taken over our lives, if we are constantly feeding our anger with our lifestyle, the alarm bells are ringing.
Remember, reading articles on psychology, including my articles, can raise awareness for the reader. However, the main thing is that our awareness leads to positive behavioral changes. If you are a person who often gets angry and you feel that you cannot cope with your anger alone, do not forget to get support from us psychologists and learn how to deal with anger. I wish you days when you manage your anger well.