Every day can be Valentine’s Day with the right communication.
Research shows people who have an intimate connection with another person live longer, healthier lives.
Narissa Carter, associate professor of communication studies at Texas Tech, says being in a happy relationship releases endorphins that help maintain the heart, blood pressure and lower cholesterol, among other things.
“Endorphins help with stress and help lead to intimacy between partners,” Carter says. “People just tend to recover from stress faster when they’re in love.”
Patrick Hughes, associate professor of communication studies at Tech, says relationship maintenance is important to keeping a relationship alive and healthy. Carter says surprising your partner will help keep a relationship fresh. When a relationship begins to dull, the people involved could suffer physically or emotionally.
Spontaneity could mean the difference between a healthy and unhealthy relationship.
“Do unexpected things for your partner,” Carter says. “Make nice gestures like making them breakfast in bed. You can also take them dancing or share new experiences with them. Sharing new experiences creates a loving feeling.”
Hughes says, “Relationship maintenance is about every day communication. Don’t do things you do everyday. The impact is less.”
Experts say feeling loved and showing love to partners are important.
Paul Douthit, associate professor in the department of pediatrics at Tech, said the “feel good” hormones released by physical contact with a loved one are important to overall health.
“They are a natural morphine,” Douthit says. “Oxytocin and endorphins act as natural pain relievers. They are released when we are in great contentment. Physical activity in a relationship can release these hormones.”
Physical activity also helps promote a healthy lifestyle, which increases confidence.
“A healthy relationship is likely to encourage a healthier lifestyle,” Hughes says. “If a relationship becomes unhealthy and unhappy, we will see worsening in a person’s well-being.”
Douthit says an emotional connection with a partner is just as important as a physical one. Humans crave a connection with one another. An intimate relationship with one another helps reach a feeling of completion.
“The better you feel physically, the more emotionally healthy you are as well,” Douthit says. “They go hand in hand. Both are important in a strong relationship.”
Confidence is another important factor in developing relationships because it influences perception.
“It impacts stress and anxiety,” Douthit says. “It all goes back to the power of perception and what we want to see. Our perception of ourselves or others affects how we rate a relationship.”
He says people also need to be committed to keeping a relationship. This means staying strong through tough times.
“Sometimes we get cross with our partner,” Douthit says. “We have to think, ‘I will do everything I can to make this relationship work.’ Just because you have a fight, the relationship is far from over. People in relationships say, ‘I’ve given it my all.’ But people have to be willing to give a little in a relationship.”
Experts agree that the best way to connect with a partner is through communication. Carter says relationships tend to fail when the people involved do not openly communicate.
“People with a lack of communication and a lack of trust tend to have more arguments,” Carter says. “A couple like that just cannot stay together. They just need to have a positive attitude in their process of communication.”
Some ways to show commitment to a partner include saying they will be there for each other, saying “I love you” and giving hugs and kisses.
“Just support your partner,” Carter says. “That is what it takes to keep a long-term relationship going. Affection should be shown year round. Not just one day a year.”
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