1. When entering the house greet your children with salams and kisses. This should help develop their sense of love and mercy.
2. Be good to your neighbours and never backbite. Never speak ill of other drivers when on the road. Your children listen, absorb and emulate.
3. When calling your parents, encourage your children to speak to them. When visiting your parents take your children with you. The more they see you take care of your parents the more they will learn to take care of you.
4. When driving them, say to school, don’t always play albums or cds (even if good cds!). Rather, tell them the stories yourself. This will have a greater impact – trust me!
5. Read to them a short hadith a day – it doesn’t take much time, but very impactful in creating strong bonds and wonderful memories.
6. Comb your hair, clean your teeth and wear presentable cloths even if sitting at home and not going out for the day. They need to learn that being clean and tidy has nothing to do with going out!
7. Try not to blame or comment on every word or action they say or do. Learn to overlook and let go sometimes. This certainly builds their self-confidence.
8. Ask your children’s permission before entering their rooms. Don’t just knock and enter, but wait for a verbal permission. They will learn to do the same when wanting to enter your room.
9. Apologize to your children if you made a mistake. Apologizing teaches them to be humble and polite.
10. Don’t be sarcastic or make fun of their views or feelings, even if you “didn’t mean it” and was “only joking”. It really hurts.
11. Show respect to your children’s privacy. It’s important for their sense of value and self-esteem.
12. Don’t expect that they will listen or understand the first time. Don’t take it personally. Be patient and consistent.
13. Play some games with them. Let them enjoy your company. They will remember all that when they grow up.
14. Be firm. If they need reprimanding, don’t hesitate in doing so. Correct their mistakes straight away. Never say “Oh he’s only a child” or “He’ll learn as he grows up”
No! This is the time to learn. If they don’t learn now, they never will.
15. Teach them to be patient and to be grateful (Sabr & shukr). Don’t give them everything they ask for. Stick to your limits. Withhold some things even if you have the capability to give them. And teach them to say ‘Jazakallah’ ‘Thank you’. Tell them to do shukr of Allah over everything.
16. Finally, Always make dua for them from the depth of your heart. Your duas can be highly effective. Parents’ duas are among those which are guaranteed acceptance. No Wali or buzrug’s duas can be as powerful as the parents’ duas.
May Allah (swt) give us the ability to raise our children with the best behavior. May Allah make them coolness of eyes for us. May Allah give our children the best of both worlds; Dunya & Akhira.