What is stress?
People feel stressed when they feel like the
demands or pressures on them are more than what they can cope with.
Everyone feels stressed at times. You may feel under pressure,
worried, tense, upset, sad, and angry – or maybe a mixture of
uncomfortable feelings. These feelings can be entirely normal, but
sometimes stress can get too much and can even trigger a mental
illness. Sometimes people try to ‘block out’ stress by using drugs
or alcohol. This makes things worse in the long run.
It is important to get help if stress is
getting too much or you are using drugs or alcohol to try and
What causes stress?
There are many reasons why you might feel
stressed. For example:
- school work piling up
- preparing for exams
- being teased or bullied at school
- arguing with parents, brothers or sisters, or friends.
Stress can be even worse if your family is
breaking up, someone close to you is ill or dies, or if you are
being physically or sexually abused.
People vary in the amount that they get
stressed by things - you may find that you get very stressed out by
exams, but your friends don’t seem bothered!
Positive events can also be stressful! For
example starting a new college or going to university. Many people
need a little bit of stress to give them the “get up and go” to do
things that are important to them.
What are the effects of stress?
Stress can affect different people in
different ways. Stress can affect your body and your feelings. Some
of the effects are listed below:
Effects on your body:
- feeling tired
- having difficulty sleeping
- going off your food
- stomach aches
- aches and pains in your neck and shoulders.
Effects on your feelings:
- feeling sad
- being irritable, losing your temper easily
- finding it hard to keep your mind on school
How do I cope with stress?
There are several things that you can do to
help yourself cope.
- Don’t suffer in silence! Feeling alone makes stress harder to
- Talking to somebody you trust can really help you to deal with
stress and to work out how to tackle the problems that are causing
- Make a list of all the things in your life that are making you
feel stressed– write them down on a piece of paper. Then take each
one in turn and list all the things you could do to tackle it. This
can help you sort things out in your head. Problems look easier to
deal with one at a time than in a big jumble in your head!
- Take a break - do something that you really enjoy.
- Do something relaxing, for example take a hot bath or watch a
- Do some exercise. This produces chemicals in your body called
‘endorphins’ which make you feel good!
When to get help?
Sometimes stress gets on top of you,
especially when the situation causing the stress goes on and on and
the problems just seem to keep building up. You can feel trapped,
as if there is no way out and no solution to your problems. If you
feel like this, it is important to get help.
Signs that stress is getting too much and that
you should get help:
- You feel that stress is affecting your health.
- You feel so desperate that you think about stopping school,
running away or harming yourself.
- You feel low, sad, tearful, or that life is not worth
- You lose your appetite and find it difficult to sleep.
- You have worries, feelings and thoughts that are hard to talk
about because you feel people won’t understand you or will think
you are ‘weird’.
- You hear voices telling you what to do, or making you behave
- You are using drugs or alcohol to block out stress.
Who can help?
It is important that you talk to someone you trust and
can help you like:
- a close friend
- parents, a family member or family friend
- a school nurse, teacher or school counsellor
- a social worker or youth counsellor
- a priest, someone from your church or temple.
Some people may find it easier to talk to
somebody on the phone. See the section on further information below
for details of confidential advice lines- childline for any young
person in difficulty and ‘Talk to Frank’ for anyone wanting help or
advice about drug problems.
Your GP or another professional can refer you
to your local child and adolescent mental health service
Chloe's story, aged 16
“It started a few months ago, during year 11. I had a lot of
work to do because it was my GCSE year but I was off for two weeks
in April because I had tonsillitis and I needed an operation. When
I went back to school, I had missed tons of work and I was given
extra homework to do to catch up. I tried really hard to get this
done on top of my coursework but I just got more and more behind. I
started to think I’d never be able to catch up and I thought I’d
fail all my GCSEs. It got to the point where I couldn’t sleep
because I was worrying too much and although I was spending more
and more time doing homework, I couldn’t actually concentrate on it
because I just kept thinking about how much I had to do. I was
really snappy and horrible to my family and I had stopped seeing my
I didn’t want to get any help because I
thought I’d look stupid but my mum dragged me to see my head of
year, Mrs Young. I’m glad she did because Mrs Young was really
understanding about the mess I had got in and she helped me to sort
it out. She spoke to my class teachers and they agreed that I
didn’t need to do all of the outstanding work, just the most
important bits. Two of my teachers spent some time with me after
school, going through some bits of my courses I hadn’t understood
properly. I was given some time out of lessons to catch up on my
Within a couple of weeks I was fully caught-up
and I was feeling much better because I was sleeping properly and
seeing friends again. I got good grades in my GCSEs and I’m going
to college in September.”