“WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY?” Have you ever received a text message from someone and had no idea what they were trying to say? You read the message several times, and may even get frustrated because you are always having to decode this person’s message to just make sense of it. Finally, with some help, you crack the code and discover the meaning of the information. It is only then, you feel more confident responding with the appropriate answer.
Now, think of your child’s hitting, screaming, biting, flopping and defiance as an encrypted message. These problem behaviours are a secret code for “something is wrong”. Many behaviour therapists will tell you the challenging behaviours your child displays is your child’s way of communicating an unmet need. Challenging behaviours serve a purpose for your child, it helps them to accomplish something and meet a need. So what is your child’s behaviour trying to tell you?
Your child’s behaviour is telling you:
A) I WANT TO AVOID THAT! GET AWAY! : This is the child that engages in problem behaviours to avoid or escape situations, people, things that make them feel afraid, anxious, frustrated, uncomfortable.
B) I WANT THAT! LOOK AT ME! : This is the child that engages in problem behaviours to gain access to people, things and situations. They are seeking out these things because it makes them feel good.
Once you get a better understanding as to why and what your child’s behaviour is trying to tell you, you will be better equipped to respond appropriately and meet the needs of your child, reducing challenging behaviour and increasing those proud parenting moments! Take action now!
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