2. Workshops are an ideal time for a presenter to catch up with their e-mails and phone calls.
3. Start out your presentation slowly and then speed it up to mess with their heads.
4. Make sure your PowerPoint handouts do not match what they see on the screen because it is really funny to watch participants scratch their head and struggle.
5. Three-hour workshops do not require breaks.
6. If a participant cannot log on to the computer, ignore them.
7. Tonight I’m going to teach technology like its 1999!
8. Do not provide laptops or computers for the participants to work with.
9. Reading from a PowerPoint is the essence of good Professional Development.
10. Malware!! Schmalware!!
11. Manuals do not need directions. Screenshots without explanations are sufficient.
12. If the user's application is not working; its all good. Just tell them to look at what you are doing on the screen or look at their neighbor’s screen.
13. Speaking of screens, use the smallest font possible because its fun to watch participants squint.
14. If the application fails while are you presenting; blame the programmer who made the application. Never accept responsibility for your actions!
15. If a user insists on asking for help. Give them a blow-off answer like, "You should really ask your IT person for help."
Editors Note: I am attending another workshop later this week. Here's hoping it is a good workshop.