Over the next four weeks, we’re bringing you a series of articles with practical writing tips from Mary Nilsen. Mary has facilitated writing workshops at the Collegeville Institute for several years, and is the author of the book, Words that Sing: Composing Lyrical Prose, among others. This summer Mary is leading a writing workshop at the Collegeville Institute called The Transformative Power of Metaphor. Mary kicks off this series by talking about verbs—“the single most important part of a sentence.”
“After reading this book, I am more hopeful than ever about the future of the world.”
No! Boring. Not strong enough. I’m trying to write a review of a book I want everyone to read. I want the first sentence to communicate how much I loved this book, that it had the power to change me at some deep level.
How about: “A Sugar Creek Chronicle: Observing Climate Change from a Midwestern Woodland is, as the title suggests, a book about climate change”?
My eye slides over what I have written and I know I would never read a review that began with either of those sentences. But what is wrong with them? Why have they no strength? No power? No energy?
I shift to writing teacher mode. The answer jumps out at me. Both are built on state-of-being verbs—“am” in the first sentence and “is” in the second. These verbs evoke stasis. They lie flat on the page without enough energy to sit up and grab the reader’s attention. No wonder the sentences flop.
Verb: the single most important part of a sentence.
If your goal is to energetically engage your readers, to grab them by the lapel and say, “Wake up!” “Take note!” “You need this information!” or to touch their hearts, then pay attention to the verbs you use.
We likely learned in 10th grade English that active voice is more, well, active, than passive voice. “She wrote a sentence with a strong verb,” is a more powerful sentence than, “A sentence with a strong verb was written by her.” If you are writing in Word, such sentences are generally highlighted by “spelling and grammar check.”
Note and fix them.
But there is more.
Consider a nob on a stove labeled “Verb” with “High,” “Medium,” and “Low,” etched around the side. All three heat settings are important, but if you want to bring water to boil fast, “Low” is not going to work. State-of-being verbs describe no action, thus they are always on “low.” The obvious state-of-being verbs are: am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been. Other verbs, such as had and have, also describe stasis: “I have a cold,” “She had candy.”
Less often thought of as state-of-being verbs, and therefore not avoided as they should be, are verbs that describe static states of mind: believe, know, understand, recognize, prefer, agree, disagree, love, hate, like, belong,…. In each of these cases nothing is happening. They simply present a state of being.
State-of-being verbs can be used artfully when you are trying to create a situation that is stuck, a place that never changes, or a person who doesn’t grow. Unfortunately, the “to be” and the “to have” families of verbs are our automatic, go-to verbs, topping the list of verbs used in the English language.
When writing, we usually want to turn the heat up, give the situation some action, engage the reader, make what we are writing pop off the page. We want verbs that are hot. But on the way to “High,” as we turn the dial, we pass “Medium.” And, alas, most writers never move beyond.
What would a sentence for my book review look like on medium?
“Reading this book gave me a more hopeful view of the future of the planet.” “Book”—subject, “gave”—verb, “me”—indirect object, “view”—direct object. We have an image of something—an idea—being handed over. Voila! Action.
Or, “A Sugar Creek Chronicle rewards readers with a new way of thinking.” “Rewards” describes an action, a description that nuances “gave,” We still receive, but this time we receive because we have put in the effort of reading. So we are rewarded.
Better than using a state of being verb, but still… no energy or emotion pulsates through the action.
“Medium verbs” or as I call them, common verbs, are those verbs we use all the time. They describe a simple action: run, jump, release, send, hear, become, happen, bring, do, say, go, make, think, see, eat….
When I do prose style analyses of my students’ work—these students have all graduated from college and most hold a graduate degree—I circle all the verbs and verbals. Over the years, I have discovered few verbs where the dial made it all the way to “High”—maybe one or two out of about 24 pages of prose. Some state of being verbs slow down the prose, but most are common verbs—I know what is happening, but I cannot see it and have no sense of its emotion.
Interestingly, the more educated a person is, the more apt they are to use Latin based verbs rather their shorter and more common Anglo-Saxon-based counterpart. Eating becomes ingesting, making becomes constructing, hearing becomes apprehending. These words do not imbue the prose with any more energy, and, because of their length, they often make it more cumbersome.
What is a “power verb”? And what would my book review’s lead sentence look like if built on a power verb—the kind of verb you get when you turn the knob to “High”?
“A Sugar Creek Chronicle radiates the author’s love for both family and Mother Earth.” Notice the verb—radiates. The term is metaphoric, referencing the sun, which radiates both light and energy. Beyond communicating action, this verb also creates an image with sensory feeling—warmth and light.
Or, I might say, “After devouring this book, I was not only filled with information about this earth that sustains us all, but nourished by the author’s deep compassion for the land, her family, and all sentient life.” These verbs and verbals (devouring, filled, sustains and nourished) all are connected to the metaphor—a good book is a satisfying meal.
Either of these sentences engage the reader more than the sentences built on state-of-being verbs or common verbs.
Do a Verb Swipe!
A bit of teacherly advice I plead with my students to follow: Before handing in or sending out any piece of writing, go through it and circle all the verbs and verbals. Study each one. Does it contain emotion and/or description? Does it strengthen what you are trying to say? Or are state-of-being and common verbs weakening your prose?
Remember that dial.Turn up the heat. Choose verbs with energy. You will be amazed at how power verbs strengthen your prose.