School bullying is, without doubt, one of the most destructive experiences a child could have. Not knowing from moment to moment whether you are going to be victim of yet another prank, rumor, or violent outburst is soul destroying.
Only the victims themselves know the true effects of these attacks, and that is why I can give you this account so freely.
I was bullied at twelve years of age for the best part of a year. I remember it like it was yesterday. It had a devastating affect on my life, but it didn’t beat me.
Let’s take a closer look at the lives of the victims and how they struggle as a result of this cruelty.
1. They Feel Violated
Bullying comes in many different forms, but even the mildest offense can cause the victim to feel violated. When a group of kids turn on you and start calling you names, it feels like you have lost control of the world you had created for — a world that was happy up until that point.
2. They Feel Alone
Victims don’t want to make a report to anyone when they are bullied — particularly when they are kids. It’s just not the cool thing to do, and they fear it will make the bullying worse. It can be hard making your way home from school every day with a heavy heart, knowing you have to face those pesky bullies again tomorrow and the next day. You start to wonder if it will ever end.
3. They Feel Afraid
Some bullies are ruthless and will go to great lengths to make sure their victim is left shaken after every incident.
4. They Feel Angry
Victims want to scream “STOP.” They want to fight back but they’re paralyzed. They want to vent their anger and shout about this injustice, but they have nowhere to turn.
They’re angry with the bullies and they’re angry with the people who should be helping— their help is not enough to stop it.
The victim will struggle with schoolwork because they have had a lot of their books destroyed by the bullies and because they are too emotional to concentrate.
If you were locked in a cabinet for the entire recess, you would struggle with your school work, too. The victim is further ridiculed by the teacher and parents for their poor performance in school.
6. They Feel Depressed
Kids who are bullied on an ongoing basis will eventually become depressed. That kind of pressure wears down the victim, who eventually experiences chronic low mood. They are sad both at school and at home. Life becomes unbearable. School bullying has the potential to cause serious anxiety and depression in young people, despite the best efforts of our schools to control it.
7. They Feel Desperate
If the bullies won’t stop and the kid doesn’t make any effort to report these incidents, this can go unnoticed for a very long time. Some kids are bullied for years on end.
The victim becomes desperate and can’t see an end to this terrible nightmare. Many contemplate suicide, some attempt it, and, sadly, some are successful.
8. They Have Bad Dreams
Kids who are bullied are not only living a nightmare all day, but they often re-live the whole ordeal in their sleep at night.
Nightmares are frightening and make matters worse for the victim when they wake to face the day ahead. The only relief is to stay away from school, and so they face further problems with their schoolwork.
9. They Want to Be Invisible
Being a victim of bullying is so overwhelming that being invisible is the best possible solution. If the bullies can’t see you, they can’t pounce on you, call you names, throw food at you, and so on.
In time, they’ll forget all about you and move on to the next poor victim.
10. They Feel Humiliated
It’s natural to feel humiliated when you are being targeted by completely insensitive people and in such a cruel way. If you ever had a rumor spread about you — true or false, it makes little difference —, you just want to hide away and never come out.
Cyber bullying is the perfect vehicle for humiliation — it’s so easy to do and has devastating effects for the victim.
11. They Just Want To Be Normal
Victims crave normality. They just want to wake up and feel normal, happy even. They want to go to school and have a normal day, come home and have some normal time with their family.
Instead they feel on edge, depressed, fearful, tearful, and detached from their old life.
12. They Want to Be Bullies
Victims plot and scheme about what they would do to their bullies if they got the chance. Who would blame them? But, of course, this would make them bullies, so it’s not the answer.
13. They Feel Isolated
You can be in the company of loving people, but if you have a terrible secret and nobody knows, you can feel alone.
Not only that, but those people will notice changes in you and they won’t understand. They may even dismiss you for being silly and offer little help.
When parents don’t understand these changes in their child, they feel helpless too.
14. They Feel Powerless
Usually, victims are outnumbered — bullies aren’t brave enough to take on a victim alone. There is little these kids can do when a gang approaches them — they have no way to fight back.
Every day they wish there was a way out, but the option to snitch is just not worth it. They have been threatened several times and know that there will be repercussions if they defy the bullies.
15. They Can Feel Courageous
Every now and again, things work out for the victim. Sometimes, they’ll throw a punch and surprise everyone and, what’s more, it will land right on cheek of the ring leader. A moment of glory at last — finally the victory is theirs.
Sometimes, the gang might be interrupted just before they strike — Yes! the victim wins again.
Other times, it may be just the case that the bullies took it easy on the victim for some unknown reason. Maybe they got a conscience or something. Either way, it was an easy day for a change.
There’s no doubt that victims of school bullying have a lot to contend with — many will suffer from low self esteem and may even grow up with more serious mental health problems. But, for many, the experience makes them stronger, and so they find their way past all the hurt and shame and go on to live productive and successful lives.