Stand Up – Make it Stop; Let’s End It. These are the words of a child describing the challenges of bullying. Why can’t we make bullying stop? Why can’t we just decide to end bulling? The answer is we can. It just takes a concerted effort with everyone moving toward the same goal to end bullying forever. Of course it is not easy. Definitely there are many who say bullying is part of being human and will never end.
The point is though, that no child should have to go to school in fear. Every person should feel safe in their community and not fear being bullied. Children should not be nervous to go on-line for fear of being bullied.
These thoughts took me to Dr. Kenneth Shore’s book, “The ABC’s of Bullying Prevention”.
Dr. Shore is a psychologist and family counselor and has written this valuable book about bullying prevention. I’ve included his top six bullying prevention tips here.
1. Take it seriously. Shore says bullying often goes unrecognized by educators, or is recognized but isn’t taken seriously. “It’s easy for us as adults to dismiss kids’ concerns, but so often, issues or problems we perceive as small loom large for them.” The common thread in stories of bullied kids who attempt or successfully commit suicide is that schools dismissed complaints about bullying or didn’t treat them with the seriousness they deserved, says Shore.
2. Prevent it. Your local board of education probably has an anti-bullying policy, but words on a piece of paper won’t change things. Instead, a committee of students, parents, and school-site staff should work together to plan and implement a prevention program. Shore says studies show a 50-percent reduction in bullying in schools that adopt comprehensive bullying prevention programs.
3. Don’t treat bullying as exceptional. Shore says one of the mistakes schools make is they treat bullying prevention as a one-time activity. “You don’t solve bullying with one big assembly,” he says. Instead, hold several ongoing activities throughout the year to address the problem. “Make sure the issue is very much alive in kids’ minds.”
4. Meet in each classroom. It’s crucial that teachers make time for special classroom meetings held a minimum of four times a year conveying that bullying is unacceptable, and the school takes it seriously. “Seat kids in a circle and engage them in discussions where they can talk about times they’ve been bullied and discuss what that felt like,” he says. During the meeting, teachers should also talk about things they’ll do if they see bullying happening.
5. Zero tolerance. Parents of kids suspected of bullying need to find out what their children are doing and address it seriously. “Make sure to let him know it’s unacceptable and that you’re going to be monitoring behavior and if it continues, there’s going to be serious consequences. Let your child know you mean business and then try to understand why it is that he’s engaging in these behaviors.”
6. Don’t blame the victim. If your child comes to you and says he’s being bullied, “Don’t dismiss the concerns with a ‘sorry that happened, hope things go better tomorrow,’ response, or suggest it’s your child’s fault,” says Shore. Listen to your child, recognize that he’s a victim, and follow-up with the school in-person. “You want to be a pit-bull taking whatever steps you need to ensure the bullying stops.”
Bruce Langford is a Canadian bullying prevention advocate offering interactive, musical school assemblies on the topic.