The way children and young people talk can be quite impulsive by nature. However, that does not mean that they can respond with rudeness and disrespectfully, especially to their parents and their teachers. However, on too many occasions it seems that young people have little or no respect for adults. If you are a father or mother, you should know that you can earn the respect of your son, that you should do it, despite the obstacles that are great.
In fact, many parents think that, for the mere fact of being, their children should respect them. That may be true, at least in part. There is no doubt that respect is something that you should show for all those around us. However, the respect of your child is not something that is required, it is something that is earned.
How to earn your son’s respect
As parents we hope that our children respect us. But as parents, we must also earn that respect. The relationship with children can be complicated in some moments. But we are the parents who must put the means to earn that respect, and not expect the obligation dictates the attitude and behavior of our children.
The bad news is that respect is very difficult to recover when it has been lost, and it can be difficult to win when our behavior does not deserve it. The good news is that it is never too late, although it is necessary to recognize mistakes and be humble.
These are some of the most important keys to earn the respect of your child, day by day.
- Respect your children. Children copy what you do. If you respect them, they will respect you.
- The relationship is more important than the rules. Rules are important, but they can not be more than the relationship with your children.
- It sets clear expectations. When expectations are not clear, there is room for misunderstandings. This will reduce the amount of conflicts.
- Be a person of integrity. Be honest when you talk with your children and in all your relationships. They learn from all this.
- The family assumes a leadership position. Give example, show the way, motivate your children, be compassionate. In short, be a good leader.
- Share your values and beliefs with your children. You can not force your children to adopt your beliefs. But when your children understand why you believe what you believe, they will recognize that you are a person of principle.
- Be reasonable, especially when your children are not. Remember that the way you behave when you are angry is the way you will behave when you are also agitated.
- Do not be too critical of your children. When parents are too critical, their children begin to avoid challenges. Thus, they can begin to shape their projects secretly, knowing that they will not get anything from their exhibition, except for criticism.
- Listen to your children. A fundamental part of being respectful is listening to the other person. If you listen to your children, they will be more likely to listen to you. Think you are his model.
- Involve your children in the process of establishing rules and limits. When you involve your children in establishing rules, they feel valued. Listen to their points of view and keep them in mind, without losing the reference of those red lines with which you are not willing to negotiate. It’s about being flexible, but without going over that point where education breaks down.
- Be an example to follow. Your children are watching you, whether you realize it or not.
- Demonstrate the behavior you want to see in them and practice what you preach.
- Recognize the effort and good behavior of your children. It is important to recognize your effort, even in situations where the result is not ideal.
- Ask your children for opinions about things that affect them. They will value the gesture and they will feel important.
- Do not assume that you understand how your children feel. Even if you think you understand what they are going through, let your children explain what happens to them. Do not give them lessons about their feelings with your experience.
- Keep calm. Show your children that you are able to control your emotions.
- Do not threaten your children. This increases the arguments and generates a climate in which respect does not flourish. Instead of threatening them, involve them.
- Give them options. Allowing your children to make decisions gives them power. It gives them a sense of control and ownership over their lives.
- Do fun things with your children. These fun moments will help you form strong bonds with your children.
- Do not give unsolicited advice. If your children face a problem, do not give them unsolicited advice unless absolutely necessary. Better help them to reflect on the problem.
- Respect your spouse and your own parents. It is the best example of all.
It’s not just a matter of setting an example. Respect towards oneself, towards others and towards the environment mark the basis not only of all good education, but also of all happy and mentally healthy growth.