On this Father’s Day in the United States according to the US Census Bureau, 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, will go to sleep tonight in homes in which their fathers do not live. Male absence from family life is a major social consequence of our era. Never before have so many children grown up without a father’s presence and provision.
Fatherhood and manhood continue to be under siege in our society. Fathers are often viewed as superfluous to family life. Our society is not only losing fathers, our society is facing a cultural loss which has been affecting every home without a father. Public scrutiny has been on the roles of women and the plight of children as if the male role was somehow irrelevant.
Involved fathers are essential and play a central role in the family and in the development of healthy happy children. Research findings are very clear. Children who grow up with their fathers do far better emotionally, educationally and physically. And in every way that is measurable, than children who do not . The truth is that fathers are central in shaping the moral character and competencies of their children. And to the extent that fathers are positively involved, the children’s and the mothers’ lives are better.
Fathers bring a unique contribution to parenting. Studies continue to show that fathers who are involved in the lives of their children positively impact their social development. The children of affectionate and supportive fathers have higher self esteem, better self-image and are better able to handle stress. A father’s relationship with his children shapes their relationships with others. This father effect begins during infancy. Children whose dad has regularly changed their diapers, burped them and rocked them to sleep have a special reserve of strength in dealing with stress and the frustrations of everyday life. They are less rigid in their gender stereotyping of their peers , more empathetic in their response to other children and to society in general. All of these positive effects are even stronger and endure longer when they are complemented by a mother’s support of her partner’s active contribution of her child’s emotional, social and intellectual development.
In understanding the fruits of early father presence and engagement and the effect that men have on child development, it is not how the father feels about it, but how well his child does as a result of it. So whether your are a single-father, a stay-at-home dad, a step-father, adoptive father or the primary family provider, you matter. Fathers, you are are essential.