- Don’t suppose that an individual who has had a mental health issue is violent. Although mass media often headline stories about the mentally ill being connected to violent incidents, most people with mental illness aren’t The American Psychological Association reports that only 7.5% of crimes are directly related to symptoms of mental illness. Subsequently, violent acts can often be connected to other factors such as poverty, substance abuse unemployment, and homelessness.
- Don’t look on that individual / or treat them differently. It goes without saying that some people will be unsure about how to approach an individual upon the news that she/he has or is currently battling a mental health issue. Don’t look at them or treat them differently. They have a mental health issue – yes, but they can most certainly sense if you treat them differently. This can include suddenly keeping them at arms length when you were close in the past. Also, something as simple as changing your tone of voice with them can be glaringly obvious for the mental health sufferer. The fact that they are struggling with a mental health condition does not mean that they’ve lost all sense of social awareness and/or emotional self. Be your natural self with them.
- Fight the temptation to tell them to ‘jazz up’ their life, go on a holiday or book a spa weekend. I have had all three of these, believe it or not. I believe such advice often comes from o good place, but what it ultimately does is minimise the struggle that he or she is facing.
- “It’s all about keeping positive. Positive Mental Attitude. Having goals and concentrating on those” This is a difficult one. Keeping positive is naturally good as is having goals, but 9 times out of 10 the individual in question isn’t even near to being able to keep positive or to having goals. If it was as easy as that, I guess depression wouldn’t exist. What people do by using this sentence is to magnify the individual’s lack of ability to be positive. I favour a gentler approach – perhaps a chat over tea and cake about what’s been happening in their life – and try from there to highlight the better moments and plan ahead.
- NEVER tell individuals who struggle with mental health issues that they are doing it for attention. Shockingly, I have even heard this sentence used in clinical environments. These struggles are very real. When such sentences are used, it isn’t uncommon for an individual’s situations to downward spiral drastically. Mental health can be a matter of life and death. Remember this before sharing the above sentence with anyone. All mental health issues should be treated seriously.
- “Have you taken your meds?” I find this so rude/insulting. Individuals who suffer with MH issues can also have bad days – that are nothing at all to do with mental health. MH medications aren’t happy pills either. You don’t take them and in the next 20 minutes feel you’re all fluffed up in your happy cloud/place. Lots of the time, they only action subtle chemical changes in our bodies. This is a real intrusive question, that I feel at best, should be avoided.
- “She’s suicidal!” The fact that an individual has tried to commit suicide once does not mean that he/she is permanently suicidal. I’ve seen friends loose solid friendships because of this, trust issues can’t be sorted and links are ultimately severed. You should never assume that anyone is suicidal unless you have good reason for doing so – and in such a situation, professional help should be sought immediately for the individual in question.
1 great tip to end things – of what to do: Speak less and listen more! < It’s always a winner!