Excerpt from Book: The Evolving Woman Series Daily Reflections, What Lies Beneath the Mask © 2018
The Silenced Woman has lost her voice. It has been stolen from her, and it keeps her from speaking up and telling her truth.
Often, this occurs during childhood. She may have been told, “Nice girls don’t say things like that!” or, she may have been punished for asking the wrong question, or for speaking up for herself. This can continue into adulthood where she may find herself in abusive relationships in which the punishment for speaking her mind results in such consequences as verbal attacks, financial abuse, or physical abuse.
The Silenced Woman is often thought of as shy or quiet. Many times, she is a people-pleaser who says and does what she’s told to do. She does not counter abuse with assertiveness, nor does she engage in debates.
Since the Silenced Woman cannot speak her mind for fear of a reprisal, she begins to stuff down her words and feelings with food, alcohol, or other compulsive disorders. It helps to numb the pain and lets her forget she has lost her voice and has lost her truth. As a people-pleaser, she will say what people want to hear or make promises that she cannot fulfill, just to keep herself safe. When she repeatedly does not follow through on her promises, she may either face being abandoned, or if in an abusive relationship be “punished” by her partner. She does not follow through because she does not want to do what she promised to do in the first place, but out of fear, said she would. Not following through is an act of rebellion.
We can find many Silenced Women living in homes where abuse and control reign. Many find refuge in the local Women’s Shelter. The most marked example of Silenced Woman was found within Afghanistan during the reign of the Taliban.
Once the Silenced Woman finds her voice, she begins to be heard clearly, and her truth is stated with conviction. Often, she will begin to reach out to other Silenced Women and help them find their voices. She does this by writing about her own experiences, becoming an advocate for the rights of women, or becoming a public speaker.
Thought for the Day: I will speak my truth and be heard.
Exercise for the Day: When have you felt like a Silenced Woman? How did you react? What are you doing about it now?