One common complaint among older generations is that
children do not have good manners anymore, so I thought I would look at what
this actually means, and think of some ways to teach good manners
In my family, good manners meant respecting your elders, having good table
manners, and always being a nice person (specifically in a public setting).
Right now, my wife and I are trying to teach our 2- year old how to behave at
the table and have good table manners, so I thought it appropriate to look at
some common ways to teach good behavior.
As with most parenting issues, what
you do as a parent usually is reflected in how your children behave. If you are
a loud and crude regularly, chances are your child will be. So recognizing your
own behavior so that your child can emulate appropriate behavior is very
important. Do you want your child to learn table manners? You need to have good
table manners first!
2. Tell your children
what you want
Having good manners
is a learned behavior, not something that comes to a child innately. Children like
to know what is expected of them and what is appropriate and inappropriate. If
you want your child to say, “Excuse me,” after burping, you have to teach them
this behavior before they burp or immediately after, so they know what you
want. Children having to guess what a parent wants leads to confused, ill-mannered
children who don’t know how to fix their behavior.
3. Watch out how you
One important issue is how do you
correct behavior, specifically in a public place? It is not appropriate to be
correcting your child repeatedly in public places, as the child should be
removed from the situation and reprimanded in private. If the child learns that
you are well mannered and expect a certain behavior in public that will make it
easier to correct slip-ups and bad behavior.
4. Accept some age-appropriate slip-ups
In our case, with a 2-year old, we
are not expecting the moon. We obviously expect our “Please”, “Thank You’s” and
“May I’s”, but if there is a slip-up, there is no need for a major correction.
Children cannot be expected to always be on their best behavior, but gentle
nudges in the right direction can go a long way. Let your kids be kids, but
expect some level of maturing to occur, as they grow older!
These are just a few suggestions, and every situation can
call for a different response. However, it is vital for our children to grow up
with some level of maturity and emotional intelligence that can come from
learning proper respect and manners at a young age. A great word of advice I
received from someone older was to raise your children so other people enjoy
their company and want to be around them. If other people don’t, then you have
not done your job.
Labels: Habits, Manners, Parenting, Table Manners