“The ways in which parents raise their children powerfully influence how the children will develop and who they will become. It is understandable, then, that parents seek the advice of experts, particularly when they cannot decipher the meaning of their child’s behavior or are anxious about his future, when they are uncertain whether and how to act, or when their efforts to correct their child’s behavior make the child unhappy and arouse his resistance.” (Bettleheim)
According to research, certain styles of parenting can have positive effects on the stress systems in your child’s brain and body. Particular ways of responding to children will establish pathways in their brain to enable them to manage emotions well, think rationally under pressure and calm themselves down without recourse to angry outbursts, attacks of anxiety or in later life, alcohol, smoking and drugs. We call this capacity to cope and feel competent, resilience. Resilience embraces the ability of a child to deal more effectively with stress and pressure to cope with everyday challenges, to bounce back from disappointments, adversity and trauma, to solve problems, to relate to others and to treat oneself and others with respect.
Knowing that parents’ relationship with the child influences how they will think, feel and behave, our work with children is inherently tied to our work with parents. In our sessions we assess parenting skills and offer ideas on how to rebalance parents’ ways of interacting with their child.
We help parents living in separate households to parent with similar principles which help establish a team approach to co-parenting. This benefits a child’s healthy growth, development and resilience.