By Kimberly Hess
Remember “All I Really Need to know, I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum?
The essay summarizes that the basic necessities of everyday functional life can be learned by five-year-olds.
They can learn to tie shoes, share, write their names, read the basics, and most importantly, they can learn to respect others.
But unlike reading, writing and math, there are no benchmark scores that measure our children’s respect.
There are no programs designed to track whether teachers- and parents for that matter-have adequately taught manners, compassion, and decorum to our children.
We hear, see, and read stories daily about kids cyber-bullying, being disrespectful to adults, picking on preschoolers at neighborhood playgrounds, yelling profanities in our neighborhoods, and stealing bicycles.
But where are the accolades for the kids who are doing the right thing? Where are our lawmakers demanding that teachers have time to teach social skills? Where are the communities that aren’t afraid to stand up against disrespect? These are not easy questions to answer. However, they are not impossible.
We should acknowledge the children who are doing the right thing. Even for adults, it is difficult to stand up to older children or teens who are being disrespectful, because we worry about the consequences – vandalism to our property, retribution against our own child, and so on.
But it’s easy to give a quick, “Nice manners!” or “I appreciate your kindness” to a child whom we observe demonstrating respect.
We should appreciate parents who are doing the right thing. Thank the parent who is actively supervising their child. Acknowledge the parent who is trying their best. A little appreciation goes a long way, and makes people want to continue doing the right thing.
Perhaps, as a Kindergarten teacher myself, I view the world through rose-colored glasses. I don’t believe that all is lost when it comes to raising this and future generations to be respectful.
When we’re studying Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., I tell my five-year-olds the story of how children with different colored skin used to not be allowed to drink from the same water fountains or go to the same schools.
They stare at me in disbelief. I want that to happen one day when I tell my future students the story of how a group of older kids threw a shoe at a four-year-old on a neighborhood playground or how kids carelessly walked down the middle of the street without yielding to vehicles.
I want that cruel behavior, that total lack of empathy, that untouchable attitude, to be out of their realm of understanding.
I’m also realistic. I’m not on a soapbox claiming that we can totally eradicate kids making fun of each other, or playing ding-dong ditch, or being defiant toward adults.
That’s part of growing up. But what I do believe is that we have the power to demand respect from our youth. We have the power to teach it.
And maybe, just maybe, the last question on every standardized test should be, “What makes you a good citizen?”
I, too, have a dream: A hope that the test that students pass to graduate doesn’t just include their mastery of academic skills, but includes of one of the most important concepts I’ve taught this year to my young learners. “Treat others as you would want to be treated.”
Kimberly Hess is an educator in the Harrisburg area. She is a graduate of Millersville University.