Domestic violence is learned through observation and reinforcement. Violent behaviors, as well as the rules of when, where, against whom, and by whom they are to be used, are learned through observation (e.g. a child witnessing abuse of his mother by his father or seeing images of violence against women in the media) or through experiences (e.g. perpetrators not held responsible, arrested, prosecuted, or sentenced appropriately for abusiveness due to a culturally sanctioned belief that men are supposed to control their partners).
Domestic violence is reinforced by our society's major institutions: familial, social, legal, religious, educational, mental health, medical, media. There are customs that legitimize abuse as a means of controlling family members (e.g. religious institutions stating that a woman should submit to the will of her husband, laws that do not consider violence against intimates a crime, health systems that blame victims for "provoking" the violence). These practices reinforce the use of violence to control intimates by failing to hold the perpetrator responsible and by failing to protect the victim(s).