Making Chores Fun for kids
Fun and children are synonymous so the fact that we must turn some things into a game should not surprise us. You may be wondering, how does making something fun serve a child long term? Ultimately, we want our children to develop the life skills of personal organization, self discipline and meticulous planning. These serious skills must be developed early and are easily adapted for children if they are presented in a an enticing way so it becomes a habit. Once the skill becomes habit, then we can remove the fun factor as the child matures to internalize his accomplishment.
Household chores and menial tasks can all be made fun by using the magic of a child’s imagination. My eight year old once told me she likes putting items in their place by pretending like she is a postage carrier. A distasteful chore I would normally have to wrestle with her to do she willing does when she can be a pretend delivery person. It helps if you can invest in a sturdy sack for your child to use as a delivery person. My kids also enjoy washing the family van because they pretend like they are actual car wash service people or frequently they make up water games. I am not concerned about the mess as long as the van gets clean and the neighbors stay dry. Take advantage of your child’s wild and vivid imagination. Talk to your children and see if you can come up with some ideas. Do not to criticize your child’s ideas. What sounds silly to you may really motivate your child. Fun is the key word here.
Making any chore a game also adds an element of fun and using a timer really makes almost any activity a game. Timers are also good because it teaches children to race against time itself or play beat the clock/ timer. Children should not be made to compete with one another as it fosters unfair competition. Although I generally advocate using an analog clock, I prefer to use a digital timer with a wide screen so the child can actually see the numbers escalating or descending ( if you choose to use it that way). The clicking of the seconds keeps the child aware that time is really passing and they can monitor their progress. The classic sand egg timer is too nebulous for small children. They cannot monitor their own progress or speed up because unless the child has depth perception and has entered an abstract reasoning generally around eleven or so the sand means nothing to them at all. Some ADD children are distracted by the sand to the point they stare at the sand instead of concentrating on completing a chore.
In addition to making games, children need to do things fast. Even we adults procrastinate when a task seems overwhelming or if we think it will take a long time to do it. The key to productivity is immediacy or just starting it. For the most part, if we can successfully begin something, then we can finish it. The aim is that the child is able to finish a chore fast. It must also be easy. Children think that the words fast and easy are synonymous. A toddler will not throw his coat on the floor if you have an immediate place for him to put it when he comes in the house. Children live in a world of immediacy. They need reward or consequence quickly to make the connection between the two events. In fact quickness is a motivator for your child. You can even use the word do it fast to reinforce a habit. For instance, looking back at the coat example, when your preschooler comes in the door you can say let’s see how fast you can put your coat away. Of course , the coat hook has to be accessible to the child.
This leads me to another organizing point, each action we teach our children must be functional or it must make sense to them. This is especially important if we want them to develop the skill. This includes how we communicate to our child. ADD/ ADHD children cannot process too many multi-step directions at one time. It is best to give them two or three word instruction with no long time lapses between requests. Do not give him a long laundry list of to-do’s. Instead send him to his room to make the bed then have him return to you for the next assigned task. Never give your child more than two commands and not without a visual or tactile clue and constant follow-up. It is likewise best to give your child very simple directions which can be applied to many situations. For instance, instead of saying pick up your coat and hang it up, say put away as you are pointing to the coat. The term put away can be applied to many household and school objects. The child knows put away means to place it in the in the appropriate spot.
A child’s limited ability to follow multi-step commands is not the only always readily obvious because we do not recognize how many steps are involved in even a simple chore. Suppose you ask your son to water the lawn. It seems simple enough. Your son has to go outside unwind the hose attach the oscillator place it in the appropriate spot, turn on the water and make certain the hose is secured tightly. It is really not a one step job. In addition, he has to deal with all the sensory inputs of a sunny environment, the tantalizing appeal of water and the dandy lions shouting out to him all the while he is trying to concentrate on just watering the lawn were told to do or say. It would be better to divide big chores into smaller steps. A child is easily distracted when there is a time lapse in doing chores but by breaking a chore into smaller components the child is able to be successful and stay focused on each step.
Every task we give our children must be functional for them. Functional also means that they can derive some understanding or appreciation for what we are telling them to do. I understand this is not always 100 per cent possible but we should aim to make the task relevant to the child. A two year old likes dressing himself and doing things for himself therefore he will enjoy hanging up his own coat because he wants to get his own coat when it is time to go. The chore is very functional for him. It serves him in some way. Requiring a child to place school notes in a folder is functional if the child understands the importance of returning notes.
Fun, fastness and function also applies to teenagers too. The truth is none of us outgrows the desire to do the pleasurable. Children need plenty of training and positive follow-up to achieve anything. Training is key. There are five vital elements to training your child to perform any kind of chore.
Step One- Demonstrate. Allow your child to observe you several times doing the task. Toddlers and preschoolers do this naturally (notice how their play imitates what they see in real life). For instance, if you want your child to make their bed, let him observe you doing it several times. Talk to him about the steps involved in making his bed as he watches.
Step Two- Participate. Let your child help you make his bed. Take note of his weak points in making the bed and teach any needed skills he may lack.
Step Three- Supervise-Watch your child make his bed. If he still has difficulty repeat steps one and two until your child has mastered making his bed.
Step Four- Delegate. Once your child has mastered bed making delegate the task to your child.
Step Five- Inspect. Occasionally inspect his bed. Be certain to give plenty of praise and affirmation for his learning a new skill.
If you child is unable to promptly make up the bed then return back to step one and then start the cycle all over again. Remember to give encouragement, praise and hugs as they progress through every step.
Portions of this article are excerpted form the book, Clean Your Room So I Can At Least See the Floor. Cheryl R. Carter is a home-schooling mom who loves life, learning and leading others in productivity lives.