To start, Type "START"
You are in a forest. Many lush, green trees abound.
There is a bush here.
You may go N, E, or W.
You cannot pick up bush.
Bush says "Winners don't use drugs!"
When you kick the bush, leaves and twigs go flying.
You find 2 birds.
You hear clicks and whistles coming from the bush.
>Get birds. Tell bush: "read my leaves!!"
Suddenly a bird appears in one hand. The birds fly beyond reach. You see a rock, underneath where the birds were sitting.
Branches of the Bush break away, forming some semblance of the letter 'T'.
You find a rock,.
You find a leaves.
You see something of your future in pass before you as the 'T' leaves are read. A rock flies, killing two birds. A mine produces raw ca$h.
The feeling fades.
>Get leaves. E.
The leaves have already been read.
The bush turns into a quail.
The quail says "Don't forget to vot."
You go East.
You are in a forest with trees everywhere. You see mountains
to the east.
There is a stick here.
You may go: West, East, South
As you kick the stick, many termintes fall out, gushing from
There is a termite here.
You do three points of damage to the termite.
The termite wields a stick!
The termite attacks! It does 2 points of damage.
You do two points of damage to the termite.
The termite dies!
There is a termite corpse here.
>EAT TERMITE CORPSE
As you eat the corpse, you get caught on a stick. Apparently,
the termite was carrying a stick.
You stop eating the termite corpse.
There is a stick here.
>GET STICK. WIELD STICK.
You pick up the stick.
You wield the stick. [+2 strength]
You can't go that way.
The termite corpse is starting to decay. It smells bad.
>KICK CORPSE. S.
You can't kick the corpse. You're carrying it.
You go South.
You enter a clearing with many pine trees and their cones.
There is a pinecone here.
You may go: North.
>DROP CORPSE. KICK PINE CONE.
You drop the corpse of the termites.
You kick the pinecone. It breaks.
There is a sees here.
The picture is getting seedy. A hick appears.
"HowdeEE!!" yells the hick.
>ASK HICK ABOUT DOLLY PARTON
"GolleEE! She's purdy." Says the hick. "And
she's sings good, too.".
The hick spits.
There is a festering wad of chaw on the ground here.
>KICK CHAW. ASK HICK ABOUT TRUCKS.
You decide against that. It would get messy and somehow even
You say: "How 'bout them Trucks?"
Hick says: "They's runnin' okey-dokey this year."
Hick picks a piece of grass and starts chewing on it.
>GET SEED. N.
You pick up the seed.
The hick follows you.
The hick says: "Ever heard of Rednecktecon? He's frenly."
>KICK HICK, HARD. W
You don't see that here.
A hick enters.
You go west. The hick follows.
"Hey, Don' I knows you?" he says.
You are in a Prairie. There is grass all around.
There is a rhinocerous here.
You may go: North, West, South, East.
You feel an ominous warning.
You suspect it has something to do with Rednecktacon!
>KICK HICK, HARD. PLANT SEED.
You kick hick. He stops and flops.
There is a hick corpse here.
Before he dies, the hick says "Rednecktacon will kill you all!!!".
You plant the seed.
The rhinocerous attacks! It misses.
>ATTACK rhinocerous WITH STICK
You attack the rhinocerous with the stick. You do four points
The rhinocerous wields a rhino_horn.
The rhinocerous attacks! It does 6 points of damage.
You now have a hole in your gut.
>PRAY TO BOB
You pray to BOB. He says: "I don't care about tou! Try
"Bob"." He gives you 4 hit points anyway.
The rhinocerous hits! It barely misses.
>PRAY TO Bob. ASK Bob FOR SEED TO GROW.
Bob says: "You suck. Try "Bob". He's your
god, anyway." He makes the rhinocerous hit harder.
The rhinocerous attacks! IT does 7 points of damage.
Warning! You have only 1 hit point left!
"Bob" psniffs your pstench and gives you 9 hit points.
With your stick[wielded]? HA!
You attempt to kill the rhinocerous with your stick. The rhinocerous laughs. You do .003 points of damage.
"Bob" notices your plight. The stick is now a +3 Pipe of Destruction.
You have a +3 Pipe of Destruction[wielded].
>LAUGH AT RHINOCEROUS. RUN N.
You laugh at the rhinocerous. With your +3 Pipe of Destruction,
you put the fear of "Bob" into the rhinocerous.
Rhinocerous sheds this mortal coil.
There is a rhinocerous corpse here.
This is a very boring place. You really don't want to hear about it.
Exits: Don't bother.
With what? Your $RL786BR? HA!
[Error in line 6800794321964.3]
You dig a pit.
There is a fossil here.
There is a dirt here.
>GET FOSSIL. W.
You get the fossil.
You can't! You're in a pit!
You notice a vehicle in the sky. You wonder why.
There is a board here.
>KICK BOARD. EXIT ROOM.
You break the board. Suddenly,
All the colord in the room brighten! The animals come out to play! The boredom has been broken!
There is a rotting rhinocerous corpse here.
Uh, and how do you propose to do this?
The feeling of SLACK fades, your +3 Pipe of destruction returns to a stick.
Suddenly, Rednecktekon appears!
Your slack drops incredibly!
You are in the mountains.
There is a rock here.
As Rednecktekon is no longer around, your Slack increases a bit.
Exist: West, Up
The rock breaks. You realize that it wa actually a rare egg of the rare "Foobie-bletch" bird, worth Thousands of dollars. Oops. Too bad.
You are in the more mountains.
There is a $R86439BX here.
It is very rocky.
Music eminates from somewhere. It seems to be Metallica.
Exits: Down, North, East, South.
?What is a $R86439BX?
The spinx squawks.
You say: "Sphinx, you stinks."
The sphinx meows.
A rock rolls.
The music changed. You hear 'Jailhouse Rock'.
You get up on the spinx. The sphinx doesn't like that! It tries to buck you off, and flies into the sky!
IN THE AIR
It is hard to breathe here.
>Jump off sphinx
But it's miles to the ground! Oh well. You jump.
As you fall, you look up at the sphinx. Suddenly, the sphinx is hit by a jet liner!
The sphinx dies.
There is a sphinx corpse here.
It is windy.
You have entered the "Wide, Wide World of Corpse!"
There is a swimsuit issue here.
>look swimsuit issue
You see many zombies, wearing very little. You are aroused. You feel the hormones running. You feel good. >:)
>eat swimsuit issue.
You eat the swimsuit issue. Tastes good!
In the background you hear music:
"A corpse is a course, of course, of course, and no one can..."
You are out of corpse. <Maybe you should get some more