This above all, – to thine own self be true;
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Be true to yourself. Life is too short to be what others might expect you to be. Do not be afraid to be your own person, to express your ideas, to have faith, to believe in liberty because no one has a right to dictate your life. Develop the ability to say “no” when you need to. The Trick to Saying “No” You are an individual uniquely created and worthy of a right to individuality. Be true to yourself!
Children, youth, and adults struggle with the concept of being true to themselves. We live in a culture idolizing stereotypes, categorizing, labeling, and imaging. There is great pressure to pledge yourself to a brand, an image, a label, the right clothes, or a specific appearance-then will you will be acceptable. Children and especially teens are pressured by what is right, what is wrong, what is popular, and what is unpopular. How do we discover who we are with the array of conflicting messages?
Be true to yourself. One way to begin sorting through all of this is to improve our boundaries. When we neglect what we are responsible for, and try to take responsibility for what is “out of our hands” we are not true to ourselves.
Remember, we practice good boundaries when we take responsibility for;
- What we think
- What we feel
- What we Say
- What we Do
- What we need
When we practice these boundaries, we are true to who we are. The first step is to be clear regarding what our boundaries are, the second is to practice them as faithfully as we can whether or not others think and feel the same way. Individuals who experience destructive relationships have almost always compromised or ignored their boundaries or they would not have remained in the relationship.
Sometimes men or women who are passive, especially if raised by a controlling parent, have failed to develop their own boundaries in marriage.
Why should we teach children to be true themselves? What good comes from examining personal needs, desires, wants, and dreams? Why not teach children to simply go with the flow of life? When we teach children to simply go with the flow, we are teaching them to follow paths with which they may not desire to go. It is important that they develop their own boundaries and learn to trust their intuitive sense.
Be true to yourself; An opposing idea, concept, or life can have a purpose and positive direction. Many dynamic leaders have been highly individualistic and true to themselves even in the face of criticism. If a child is forcibly molded to be like somebody other than his or her own person, they will either resent or resist the molding. If a person is swayed from following his or her desires, then they are apt to contain within themselves a heart of resentment.
What if I follow my choice and fail? Is it not better to have failed, than never having attempted a desire of one’s life? As a society, we need to stop seeing failure as a bad thing. Failure is merely a landmark of a task attempted, no more than success is a landmark of a task achieved. We should each have freedom to practice taking responsibility in our life. A great philosophy for parents to follow is that portrayed in the books, “Parenting with Love and Logic” and “Parenting Teens With Love and Logic.” The authors teach that making individual choices is how we learn to be responsible adults.
Children and adults should be encouraged to pursue our dreams. A child’s flame of desire can be permanently removed by parental figures, siblings or teachers. It is then replaced with self-doubt. Children need adults to be their greatest advocates and allies.
Whether our choices bring about perceived failure or success, we should always be reassured that our individuality, creativity and efforts are important and valuable. We need to be the directors of our screenplay called life. If we are being true to ourselves, then we will pursue the diligence of our heart, mind, and spirit. Develop the ability to say “no” when you need and want to; The Trick to Saying “No”
Copyright ©2013 Marta