I purchased this book because its author, Dr. Jed Baker, was recommended by the speaker at a meeting about autism at our local library. After looking through the books he has written, I ended up choosing one that is not specific to the needs of children with autism, though. One of his other books, on social skills, may be helpful as Al moves into middle school. But for now, dealing with his frequent meltdowns is a higher priority.
His teachers have taught him some coping skills, so they don’t occur as frequently as they used to. But situations that exceed his coping skills happen on a regular basis, and I hoped to learn some strategies to help me as a parent as well as to teach him.
Parents and teachers generally know that it is important to set rules, then use consistent rewards and punishments to enforce the rules. The problem is when a child continues to have meltdowns in spite of appropriate disciplinary measures. Dr. Baker points out that too often, parents and teachers think the only options are to hold to the rules and perhaps make the punishments more severe, or else give in – which of course they know is not a solution.
Dr. Baker offers a third approach – to work at understanding what is triggering the meltdowns, then to reduce the triggers and/or teach the child better ways to respond. To some extent, I think that we do this already without thinking about it as a specific strategy. We know that small children get cranky when they are tired, so we make sure they get their naps rather than have to deal with the consequences of their being over-tired. We know they need to eat more often than we do, and I quickly learned to have a snack available for my son when we got home at dinnertime, rather than expecting him to wait patiently for me to finish fixing dinner.