July, 3.2 million years ago: A randy but unappealing australopithecines named Stanley approaches a comely female. The female moves away so quickly that, soon, both of her feet leave the ground at the same time. Running is born.
September 1593: William Shakespeare becomes the first person to use the phrase "funne runne," in his little-known Sonnet 26.2.
January 1754: J. Edwin Hurdle is born in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, England. Some 23 years later he would invent the track barrier that bears his name. Sadly, he would neglect to file for a patent and would die penniless.
March 1828: A young Charles Darwin enters a Shamrock Shuffle 5-K with some friends. He later declares the sport "rubbish."
April 1896: The first modern Olympics takes place in Athens, Greece, including the marathon. During the event, a spectator named Phyllis becomes the first person to ask, "How far is this marathon?"
May 1954: Roger Bannister becomes the first man to run a mile in less than 4 minutes.
Circa 1970: A track and field coach named Bill Bowerman uses his wife's waffle iron to make the sole of what would become the Nike Waffle Trainer.
One day later: Mrs. Bill Bowerman purchases a new waffle iron.
September 2007: RW Daily launches. Evolution is complete.
SOMEWHAT RELATED If you've never heard of the Darwin Awards, you've been missing out. Check them out here.