P.M. Forni is the cofounder of the Civility Initiative Project at John's Hopkins University. He has written the best-selling book Choosing Civility which offers twenty-five rules of considerate conduct - at home, at work, and in our daily encounters.
A few years ago ABC News distributed a questionnaire to find out how Americans felt about good manners in general and about the state of American manners in particular. About 56 percent of the respondents said that it is better for people to have good manners, while 38 percent responded that it is better for them to express what they really think. Also, Eighty percent of Americans think rudeness is a serious national problem, but 99 percent say that they themselves are not rude.?
Having manners doesn't come naturally to people, but is a skill they need to be taught, according to Forni. We need more good manners in order to improve the quality of our lives. A training in good manners is a training in sensitivity. The way we treat others always depends on the health of our sense of self. Good manners require self-esteem, self control, sensitivity, tolerance, fairness, and generosity.
Forni covers a few topics in Choosing Civility that include:
- Accept and Give Praise
- Respect Others' Opinions
- Think Twice Before Asking Favors
- Refrain from Idle Complaints
- Give Constructive Criticism
- Don't Shift Responsibility and Blame
This book is clear, witty, and a short read. Forni provides examples of how to put each rule into practice. A great book to start the New Year off with...and a must re-read throughout the year(s)!