Through countless thousands of Constellations worldwide, we have observed that events in a family's past that caused a shock or trauma, create a conscious or unconscious exclusion. This exclusion or disconnection originates in the emotional overload during a traumatic experience or heartbreaking event. When there is an overwhelming flood, disconnecting or damming it up is a first, life-saving step. Often, however this is passed on through the generations, the mechanisms become conditioned patterns of response and are maintained, and expressed in our current day issues. This connects us to our family as an unconscious form of love, but also serves to separate at the same time.
This movement of disconnection may have been lifesaving in the past, but we experience it as life challenging now.
Examples of Exclusion revealed and healed with Systemic Family Constellation Work
- A a man's issue with his wife and children is revealed to connect to his great-grandfather participation in WWII. To have your comrades die around you while you survive is a burden that many can not bear. The event was too difficult to speak of, therefore excluded.
- The Constellation reveals a mothers concern for her anxiety ridden son is connected to her grandmother's brother suicide. That event was too painful, and considered shameful not to be spoken of, therefore excluded.
- A client's long term health issue is revealed to be connected to grandparent's family involvement in war. Many of the family where killed, the grandparents left their homeland and the unspoken story behind.
- The Constellation reveals a clients intimacy issues is connected to the Great grandmother that lost three young children. With each loss the grandmother's heart closed to protect itself. This excluded her connection to the lost ones, and her other children from the awareness of their siblings.
The longing to belong, be included, and acknowledged is a basic human need. Inclusion is the first act to reestablishing harmony, and a most import step to wholeness and well being.
Inclusion always brings strength to the generation in which the exclusion, or painful event occurred, allowing the reconnection to the natural flow of love in a family system. This unburdens the following generations and frees one to take their authentic place in life. Unconscious love is transformed to conscious love, and the burden becomes the blessing.
To read more on the power of inclusion and Family Constellation Work click here.
To read more on the latest scientific research on the pain of exclusion click here: