Cutting is dangerous, frightening, and scarring. Understanding the motivations behind cutting can help you to help your friends and others in your sphere of influence to curb the tendency. With greater understanding, you can encourage and find ways to help cutters replace the desire to cut with other distractions, but not being too over-supportive but with building their self-esteem through your support and the support of others.
1Consider the possibility of underlying disorders and disease. People who cut themselves might be depressed, suffering from an anxiety disorder, or are suffering from a disorder that causes them to be self-destructive.
2Realize that post-traumatic stress disorder can lead a person to hurt themselves to try to escape the emotional pain or shame of something that has happened to them. People often have emotions and problems they can't deal with, for example, rape, incest, abuse, prostitution, infliction of punishment over a long period of time, etc.
3Expect repetition once done the first time. Most people who try cutting will often do it again. They can be calling for help and just can't find the words to tell you that they do it. Cutting is a way to vent, and usually helps them calm down, so they'll do it again unless they can find another outlet.
4Don't make fun of people who cut. That is probably the worst thing you can do/say to a person that cuts. Calling them emo, overtly sensitive, stupid, etc., will just hurt them more and give them another reason to cut. Emo, stupid, over-sensitive, etc. are projections of your own inability to cope and they are labels; nobody likes to be labeled or misunderstood. When you label these people it just makes them feel worse, and makes it worse them to tell someone about them cutting, by them worrying that others will judge them too.
5Do not hound them about it. If you are their friend they trust you and pestering them will only lower that trust, potentially losing you a friendship, and probably making the problem worse.
- If they look down or you sense they are upset, then ask them if they want to go somewhere like; ice cream, park, movies, drive, or anything you can think of to get something off their mind.
- Stress from school, university, work, etc. can lead a person to cut as a form of escapism.
- If you think that they don't have to many claustrophobia or personal space issues, hug them! It will make them feel loved. But if you hug them but be aware they may not want to.
- Just have fun with them! Do things together. Even if you can't go out, just get some popcorn and watch a movie inside. It will show them what they'll miss, if they are thinking about dying.
- Get them help. Recommend them to a psychiatrist or psychologist. It will get them help, and you won't worry as much.
- Talk to them about it! It will help you understand more, and it gives them a person that they can trust or talk to.
- Watch over them a little bit. Just check them every 6-10 minutes. But do not just check every 5 seconds, it will make them feel nervous and uncomfortable.
- Don't look at them worried, angry, or disappointed. Even if you are disappointed, angry, worried or whatever, be calm and NORMAL. You have no right to judge.
- Do NOT scold them on it! Be calm, talk calmly to them, but don't freak them out. Yelling at them will just push them more on the edge
- Don't tell your friends at work, school, club, so on and so on. In the end it will get to someone they know, and will make them feel worse, and they'll probably cut more.
- DO NOT TELL ANYONE THAT THEY DO NOT WANT YOU TO! This will make them feel like everyone thinks they're different. Even informing the school, is living hell for them, knowing that teachers and the principle know what they do.
- If you already informed the school, be strict on how they should not tell other staff.
- Don't stalk them. You do not want to hover over them the whole time. It makes them nervous, and like they can't be trusted alone.
- Act NORMAL.
- Do not be paranoid. Don't expect them to be cutting every second they're alone. This, again, will make them uncomfortable, nervous, un-trusted, etc.