Adults Surviving Childhood Trauma & Abuse
What is trauma?
Trauma may be defined as any situation in which you are faced with a threat to your well-being or survival and that situation is combined with a state of helplessness where you have no control over that event – Dr. Robert Scaer.
There are little-t and big-T traumas.
– Feeling safe and part of a group helps heal trauma
– The brain/body connection is very important to effective trauma healing
– Most addictions are the result of trauma, and are attempts to rebalance the neurochemistry of the brain
– Consistent lack of attachment and attunement between child and parents can lead to childhood trauma. This abuse is one of the most critical traumas to address.
How can trauma and abuse affect me?
Experiencing any form of childhood trauma and abuse can impact on an adult’s quality of life in fundamental ways. It can make basic day-to-day activities, like eating, sleeping, working and study difficult. Trauma and abuse in childhood can also affect your mental health, physical health, and your relationships with the people around you.
Effects on Feelings
Survivors are often out of touch with their feelings – confused by emotions or reactions they cannot explain. They have often been raised in environments in which a child’s normal expressions of upset or discomfort were punished or ignored. They may have been taught to attribute the negative emotions associated with childhood trauma and abuse, such as shame and anger, towards themselves. This confusion often persists into adult life, and can result in heightened experiences of:
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Grief and sadness
- Shame, self blame and guilt
- Helplessness, hopelessness and powerlessness
Like everyone, survivors have a right to “a life worth living” (Linehan, 1993), but instead survivors often live with chronic distress and pain. For many survivors, these emotions are so much a part of their day-to-day life that they don’t realise that there are alternatives. Unable to readily regulate their emotions they may seek to do so through alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, or other compulsive behaviours. Many survivors also harm themselves out of a sense of despair. All of these ‘coping strategies’ make sense in the context of childhood trauma and abuse.
Learning about emotions – what they are, where they come from, and how to respond to them – is a crucial part of finding a path to recovery. Survivors can learn new, effective ways of regulating the intensity of their feelings, so that they don’t need to use alcohol or drugs and/or cut themselves to express their emotions. For many survivors, learning about the psychological impacts of their trauma or abuse helps them to understand why they have struggled for so long, and how they can move forward. Acknowledging these feelings, understanding where they come from and why they are so intense is an important part of any survivor’s journey.
Effects on relationships with others and self-esteem
Survivors often find it difficult to trust others. As children they might have been betrayed by the very adults who were meant to nurture and protect them. As a result, survivors often find it difficult to form and sustain relationships. A large survey of adult survivors of child abuse in Australia found that survivors had a higher rate of failed relationships and marriages, and reported lower levels of social interaction (Draper, Pirkis et al. 2008).
When children are abused they come to believe the messages their abusers deliver, such as: ‘You are worthless’ and ‘You have no value’. Of course, these messages are not true, but children accept and internalise them. These messages become so ingrained that, when a child who has been abused or traumatised grows up, the adult survivor will often experience feelings of low self-worth or poor self-confidence. Rebuilding self-esteem is a gradual process, but a crucial one.
Effects on physical health
Childhood trauma and abuse doesn’t just affect the mind – they can affect the body too. Children who feel perpetually in danger grow up with a heightened stress response. This in turn heightens their emotions, makes it difficult to sleep, lowers immune function, and, over time, increases the risk of a number of physical illnesses.
Adult survivors are at increased risk of chronic pain and fibromyalgia, gynaecological problems, irritable bowel syndrome, diabetes, arthritis, headaches, cardiovascular disease, and chronic fatigue syndrome. They are also more likely to smoke and drink more than other people in the community, and be less physically active. These factors can all affect health and wellbeing in later life.
Click here to watch Dr.Cathy Kezelman’s interview with Julie Mc Crossin from physical health forum held by MHCC (Mental Health Co-ordinating Council) “Presentation at MHCC forum – physical health issues in mental health” October 2011.
In most instances, the survivor never discussed the abuse with others while it was occurring and may never be able to clearly recall it. Usually, after being triggered by a situation or memory, this individual learns how, as an adult, to deal with the effects of the abuse.
It is important to speak with someone, whether it be a friend or counsellor, about the abuse and past and current feelings. There are now very effective ways of dealing with trauma to clear the emotional reactions which can keep recurring and causing you distress.
Please remember that you are not responsible for the abuse and that you are not alone. You can overcome the effects the abuse may have on your life.