Being aware of our boundaries and limits in crucial in having healthy relationships, both as children and adults.Most interpersonal disagreements stem from someone crossing a boundary. But did they know what you would and would not put up with? Healthy boundaries define who we are.
A boundary or limit lets me know how far I can go with comfort in a relationship, either personal or professional. It lets me know where my psychological and physical space ends and yours begins. This knowledge of how far we can go with comfort is necessary for love, intimacy and trust.
Line In The Sand
It is necessary for all members of a relationship acknowledge the edges and recognize when they have stepped over the line. What is the limit? When is it too far? Does the other person even know that you have a boundary? How do they know when they have crossed the line in the sand?
Our boundaries are invisible, but always there. They tell others how we expect to be treated. Clear and consistent boundaries make life easier.
Cells Have Boundaries
A good way to think of how healthy boundaries work is to relate them to cells in our bodies. The outer wall of a cell is semi permeable, which means it lets in those things which are beneficial and keeps out those that are not. Healthy cells and healthy people know who and what they are.
A brain cell never gets confused and thinks it is a stomach cell. . It knows intuitively when to duplicate, when to expel waste and when it is hungry for supplements. It demonstrates intelligence by discriminating between nutrition and poison.
Healthy Boundaries Define Who We Are
A healthy core of self-knowledge is called our guidance system. It keeps us on track and meeting our own needs so we can have sufficient time, money and energy to share with others.
Speaking up for who we are and what we need in relationships keeps us from being co-dependent, abused or misunderstood. By letting others know in a firm but kind voice what our boundaries are and how we like to be treated will produce respect.
If the other person chooses not to honor your limits, then you have choices to make. You deserve to be treated in a respectful and non combative manner.
Be Firm but Kind in Stating What You Need
I urge you to be consistent in setting boundaries and honoring those of others in your circle of friends and family. When you know who you are and how you want to be treated, it will assist you in treating others in a respectful way.
Don’t worry about what you can’t do.
Worry about what you CAN do today
and make that better each day.
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