what habit reduce effectiveness of listenings
Pseudolistening,stage hogging, selective listening, filling in gaps, insulated listening, defensive listening, ambushing
For what reasons do we listen to people?
to understand, to evaluate, to build and maintain relationships, to help others
what are the componets of the listening process?
Hearing, attending, understanding, remembering, and responding.
chapter 7 cont
OPEN QUESTIONS allow a variety of extended responses CLOSED QUESTIONS only allow a limited range of answers.
COUNTERFEIT QUESTIONS are really disguised attempts to send a message, not receive one. SINCERE QUESTIONS are aimed at understanding others
what are the four componets of emotion?
physiological changes, nonverbal reactions, cognitive interpretations, verbal expression
What factors influence the expression of emotion in contemporary society?
personality, culture, gender, social conventions and roles, fear of self disclosure, emotional contagion
Gender and emotion!
whether on the internet or in face to face conversations men tend to be less emotionally expressive
Culture and emotion!
Cultural background influences the way we interpret others emotions as well as the way we express our own.
Guidlines for expressing emotion
recognize your feelings, choose the best language, share multiple feelings,recognize the difference between feeling and acting, accept responsibility for your feelings, choose the best time and place to express your feelings
Diffrence between facilitative and debilitative emotions
facilitative which contribute to effective functioning, and debilitative emotions which hinder or prevent effective performance
Passive aggression: occurs when a communicator expresses dissatifsaction in a disguised manner
Direct Aggression: lashes out to attack the source of displeasure
Why do people pick others as potential relational partners?
appearance, similarity, complementarity, rewards, competency, proximity, disclosure
Through what stages do relationships develop and deteriorate? Knapps theory!
They develop in the intensifying stage and deteriorate in the terminating stage
What dialectical tensions arise in relationships
integration-separation, stability-change, expression-privacy
What is metacommunication?
Metacommunication is all the nonverbal cues (tone of voice, body language, gestures, facial expression, etc.) that carry meaning that either enhance or disallow what we say in words. There's a whole conversation going on beneath the surface.
What strategies are used to gain compliance in relationships
direct requests, indirect appeals, reciprocity, relational appeals, face value maintaenance, reward and punishment,
What are the four dimensions of intimacy?
physical, intelluctual, emotional, and shared activities
Avoidance: occurs when people nonassertively ignore or stay away from conflict.
Accomodation: occurs when we allow others to have their own way rather than asserting our own point of wiew.
Competition: involves high concern for self and low concern for others
Compromise: gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals
Collaboration: involves a high degree of concern for both self and others
Chapter 12 cont
Contrast the characteristics of functional and dysfunctional conflict
Funtional achieve the best possible outcome, even strengthening the relationship. dysfunctional conflict outcomes fall short of what is possible and have a damaging effect on the relationship
What are conflict rituals?
unackowledged but very real repeating patterns of interlocking behavior
• What is communication climate?
Comm climate refers to the emotional tone of a relationship. It is a very integral key to positive relationships
Differentiate among various types of confirming, disagreeing, and disconfirming messages.
Comfirming communication describes messages which convey valuing of the relationship of other person. Discomfirming messages signal a lack of regard for the other person in the relationship
How do climates spiral?
a reciprocating communication pattern in which each person’s message reinforces the other’s. In positive spirals, one partner’s confirming message leads to a similar response from the other person. Negative spirals are just as powerful, though they leave the partners feeling worse about themselves and reinforce the principle that “what goes around comes around.”
What types of messages are likely to create positive climates as opposed to defensive ones?
A climate doesn’t involve specific activities as much as the way people feel about each other as they carry out those activities. Surely you’ve been in classes that are friendly, comfortable places to learn and others that are cold and tense, even hostile. The difference is climate. You’ll see the same sorts of differences in other contexts—family, friendships, and workplaces. If you’ve experienced both kinds of climates, you know what a difference climate makes. Research has shown that employees have a higher level of commitment at jobs in which they experience a positive communication climate. Studies also show that performance and job satisfaction increase when the communication climate is positive. Whether it’s the workplace, the classroom, or the home, people look for and stay in communication climates that affirm and support them.
win-lose: to conflic that involves high concern for self and low concern for others
lose-lose: gives both people at least some of what they want, although both sacrifice part of their goals
win-win: the goal is to find a solution that satisfies the needs of everyone involved.