You know that old saying, "It's not what you say; it's how you say it"? I'm a firm believer that this fine phrase is the number one key to positive parenting. Being a parent is probably one of the toughest jobs most of us will have in our lifetimes. Parenting in a positive manner can be even more challenging. Through years of counseling with one of my children, I learned one of the most valuable parenting lessons I've ever been taught: Learn to communicate with your child in a positive manner — even when the situation is negative.
Learning to communicate with your children in a positive way can make all the difference. For instance, if you catch your toddler holding the cat by its tail, you may instinctively say something like, "You're a bad girl!" This message isn't really the message you want to send to your toddler, right?
You don't really think she's a bad child, right? She's really only being a normal toddler, exploring her world, and everything in it (including your cat). So rather than making her think she's a bad person, you could say something like, "What you're doing isn't nice," or "You're behaving badly." This approach comunicates that her behavior isn't acceptable, but doesn't make her think she's a bad person.
If your toddler is not sharing her toys or is treating another child badly, you could tell her she's mean and to stop acting like that. If, however, you told her that what she is doing isn't nice, and that it's unacceptable behavior, you're still getting the point across. With one simply step, you've exchanged the negative word "mean" with a positive word "nice".
When you make these small changes to the way you communicate with your toddler, you are able to teach her right from wrong, while at the same time, keep her self-esteem intact.
Positive parenting at its best!
Do you have any parenting tips you'd like to share? Feel free to share with us in the comment section below.
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