Sociologists Berger & Berger provide an interesting perspective on this sort of social experience. For example, they state that, “society is our experience with other people around us,” and that means that other social actors constantly mediate and modify human understandings of the social world, systematically imposing and reinforcing many of the norms and values of prevailing society.
A number of years ago, there was a lengthy discussion on a nonhuman advocacy email network about issues arising from the annual North American “Thanksgiving” celebration. A non flesh-eater had written in saying she was negotiating with family members about how the day should go. Particularly, what was to be done about the traditional “Thanksgiving turkey.” Not wanting to spoil the occasion for others, the animal advocate was considering allowing her mother to have her way and visit brandishing a specially pre-cooked turkey.
Her email was an apparent reflection of her anxiety about compromising her principles; but it also seemed to reveal her recognition, and even partial acceptance, of the cultural importance of a turkey dinner on this particular social occasion. There is the suggestion that pro-animal views in this case had the clear potential to disrupt and upset a hitherto not-especially-thought-about aspect of Thanksgiving: that is, the plight of the millions of turkeys killed for it.
This appears to be a case in which some awareness truly had the ability to "spoil" a dinner. An awareness of the emailer’s views had made her relatives, perhaps for the first time, think about turkeys at Thanksgiving, rather than simply think about Thanksgiving Turkey. When Julian Groves investigated the role of "emotions" in social movement activity about human relations with other sentient beings, he found a similar situation. He found that animal activists were often accused of "spoiling" happy celebrations and occasions, and it is clear that this generally means that the philosophy of animal rights had made people directly think about certain aspects of their relations with other animals. For example, one activist told Groves that friends, aware of his and his partner’s position on human-nonhuman relations, stated before a meal: “We’re not going to say anything about food in front of our kids.” If a child comes up and mentions something about animal flesh, the activist says of his friends, "they’ll all look at us like "don’t start him thinking!""
Groves also recounts how a North American female activist had caused her mother to be very angry when she did talk about the plight of turkeys during Thanksgiving. Her mother’s rage was at least partly prompted by the presence of the activist’s aunt and the potential of a spoilt meal following the campaigner’s comments. The activist states that she was told by her mother: "This is supposed to be a happy occasion. It’s Thanksgiving. You’re supposed to be thankful." I said "I am thankful. I’m thankful I’m not a turkey!""