Editor’s Note: It is we, the parents, who should teach the young ones about good habits, behaviour and also about our culture and heritage. How do you do it? Please share your thoughts with us here.This is what our member Pushpavalli Srinivasan has to say.
It is the aspiration of all parents to bring up their child as an ideal child. Where do we start to achieve this dream of ours?
According to our Indian philosophy the process of educating human beings and moulding their character is a process right from the womb. When a woman carries a child in her womb she is given advice on dos and don’ts, not only regarding her diet, but also about her other activities. She is advised to read religious and other good books and not to read vicious books or to watch violent or sadistic movies.
From Mahabharatha we come to know that Abhimanyu learned to break the chakra vyuha when he was still in his mother’s womb while Arjuna was explaining it to his pregnant wife. Alas! But as Lord Krishna called him he could not complete the explanation how to come out of it and so Abhimanyu could not learn the secret of getting out of it.
When Prahalada was in his mother’s womb Narada was telling his mother the stories of Lord Vishnu’s devotees and Prahalada was born as a staunch devotee of Lord Vishnu.
Modern research also shows that emotions and feelings can be formed in the brain even before we are born.
Mother is the first teacher to a child. There was a time when grandmothers also were helping in bringing up children with their great story telling talent. When children were about six to eight months old, they used to keep the child on the lap and bring the hands together on top of the head and they used to teach, “Krishna Rama Govinda and
Ramakrishna Govinda,” the first spiritual lesson of the child after entering the world.In the present nuclear family system children are bereft of this advantage. In the good old days children got used to sharing things with siblings. But now the one child norm deprives the children this quality unless the parents teach them.
Children should be taught to give respect to elders from young age. They should be never encouraged to make fun of elders or domestic helpers.
When a child starts talking teach them small slokas and make them chant it before the Deity after bath.
Avoid spoon feeding when the child completes 3 years and teach them to eat food on their own. After one child norm has been adopted by couples, I have seen mothers feeding even a grown up child who studies in high school. It is not good to pamper too much or to over protect.
Personal hygiene also should be taught from the tender age. Children should be taught to brush the teeth twice a day, both in the morning and at night before going to bed.
Parents should never show discrimination between a girl and boy. Both of them should be taught to keep their things neat and tidy. We should take help in domestic cores from both of them whenever needed.
Discipline is crucial when bringing up a child. It should be consistent, but there should be reasonable boundary for the children to feel free. As a cow tied to a poll has the freedom to move around to certain space, children also need certain amount of freedom. Setting boundaries for children’s behavior helps them to learn how to behave in society.
Take the children into confidence and discuss with them financial issues and make them understand whenever necessary.
Do not push them to do anything which is beyond their capacity.