Jacqueline Fiore, a licensed clinical social worker and executive director of the Staten Island YMCA counseling service, who also is involved with the Tackling Youth Substance Abuse initiative, said parents are the biggest weapon against the borough’s drug and alcohol problem. We asked her specifically what moms and dads can do.
Q. Why is it crucial that parents take a strong stance against underage drinking and drugs?
A. Studies that track attitudes toward drugs reveal that one of the most critical influences on kids’ decisions about taking drugs is the input of parents. In fact, studies show, kids who say they learn a lot about the risks of drugs at home are up to 50 percent less likely to use them.
Teens can be prone to unpredictable and sometimes risky behavior, including experimentation with drugs, during these critical years. But you’re still the biggest influence in your teen’s life.
Q. What else can parents do to reduce the chance their teens will abuse these substances?
A. Rules don’t alienate kids; they make children feel loved and secure — and help keep them healthy and safe. So set limits, monitor their whereabouts, and get to know their friends. Be sure to keep your medicines in a secure place.
You also should keep the lines of communication open by setting clear limits and being involved in their lives every day.
It’s important to talk to and listen to your teen regularly, and be sure to communicate clearly that you do not want him or her using drugs. Encourage your teen to spend time with positive role models, including peers, family members or other influential adults. These positive influence-rs can help your teen avoid the dangers of drugs and reinforce the benefits of healthy, drug-free living.
Trusting your kids also is essential. Keeping him or her sheltered will not prevent his or her use or abuse of alcohol or drugs, but could create a distant, untrusting relationship that does not encourage communication. Trust your child until he or she gives you a reason not to and then give reasonable consequences.
Q. What do you have to say to parents who let their teens drink alcohol at home?
A. This is a risk not worth taking. It is likely that your kids have been exposed to alcohol before, but by allowing them to drink in your home, you are sending a message to your kids that this behavior is OK.
Q. How should parents address the issue of peer pressure with their kids? What strategies can parents recommend to kids in combating peer pressure?
A. Assuring them that it is OK for them to be unique is step one. They need to feel supported when they go against the grain in a positive way at home, or with family and friends. Reward your children’s unique choices, if they are positive, and support them when they make the right choices.
Teens are at a developmental period where their social circle is important to them, and this is normal. Your children need to be comfortable in their responses to their peers because they want to still be seen as “cool” even if they choose to say “no.”
Help your children to prepare responses to use when they are approached that they are comfortable with. Talk about these responses often enough so that the scripted “no” is an automatic reaction.