Helping your child manage their feelings with acceptance and validation
Development of emotional intelligence.
What is acceptance?
What is validation?
Importantly, validation of emotions does not mean you are validating and accepting how they might be behaving at that moment. Let’s say something happens and your child becomes upset, is crying and starts hitting you. You can send a message that accepts and validates their emotions, while also sending a message that their hitting behaviours are not ok. For example, you might say something along the lines of ‘I know it’s sad/disappointing/upsetting that …happened. It’s not ok to hit though’.
Then depending on their age, how they are coping at that moment, you might implement a consequence for the behaviour, help your child calm down and/or use it as an opportunity to teach your child what to do in such a situation.
How to accept and validate emotions.
“I notice you look worried”
“Could it be you’re worried about…”
“You seem to be sad”
“I bet you are disappointed… happened”
“I’m wondering if you might be anxious”
“I’m wondering if you are anxious because…”
“I can see how angry you feel right now”
“You look frustrated”
By using acceptance and validation you will be helping your child to develop their emotional intelligence and coping skills that will help them better navigate life’s challenges.
Written by Dr Rachael Sim, Clinical Psychologist.
If you would like to learn more about acceptance, validation and how to build your child’s emotional intelligence or book an appointment with Dr Rachel Sim or another one of our experienced clinical psychologists, contact our friendly client team by calling 6143 4499 or email via our contact page.
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Subiaco, Perth, 6008, WA
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