School-age kids are pros with the remote control, and many know their way around the computer, too. They know what's on and when, and they're eager to have a say in what they watch.
By age 6 or 7, kids get that there's a difference between fiction and reality, but they often lack context. A child this age might think that because violence crops up incessantly on the news, it's more rampant than it actually is. That's why grade-schoolers still need you to supervise their exposure to TV, movies, video games, and the Internet and to talk them through what they see.
Many parents try to shield their kids from violence, but it becomes harder as their world expands, so be prepared to talk to your child about what he sees.
Limit screen time. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends a maximum of two hours of screen time a day (including time spent surfing the Internet and playing video games) for kids over 2 (and none for kids under 2), but research shows that 5- to 8-year-olds watch an average of three to four hours of TV every day — and that's just TV. As you think about the two-hour guideline, make sure you factor in time on all the TVs in your house and elsewhere, plus video games and computer time.
Help your child choose nonviolent programs. TV shows are much more violent than they used to be, so don't just hand your child the remote. "Parents should control the options," says Dimitri Christakis, professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington and coauthor of The Elephant in the Room: Making TV Work for Your Kids. "You set the menu, then let your child order."
The best choices teach social skills like how to share and be a good friend. "Kids don't just emulate bad behavior; they also emulate good behavior," Christakis notes. Also steer your child toward shows that teach him to spell or solve problems. Public TV's WordWorld and Between the Lions, for example, reinforce language skills he's learning in school. If your favorites aren't on at the right times, record them, use TiVo or your cable company's on-demand programming, or pop in a DVD you've okayed rather than watching whatever happens to be on. And when the program you've chosen is over, turn the TV off.
Don't tune out. Too many young kids watch TV completely unsupervised. It helps to keep the TV in a common room. As often as you can, watch new programs with your child. If you can't be in the room, stay close enough to see the screen.
Click away from violence. Even if your child begs to watch programs — like Power Rangers — that his friends watch, be firm. Research has shown a clear connection between violent kids' shows and real aggression. To draw the line between what's okay to watch and what's not, consider how you'd react if you saw in real life the violence that's depicted in the show.
Review the ratings and descriptions before allowing your child to watch. "If you start a program that turns violent, don't expect to back out of it with ease," says Donald Shifrin of the AAP. "Children have big ears and bigger eyes." Consider V-chip technology — receivers that allow you to block programs — as a tool. To avoid confusing or upsetting your child, watch any violent adult shows after your kid is in bed.
Be vigilant with video games and the Internet, too. Know what video games your child is playing and check the ratings on Common Sense Media or What They Play. Play together so you can talk about it. Video games designed for grade-schoolers are likely to include violence as well as foul language. "And that's worse than violent TV or movies, because the games are interactive," says Christakis. Steer your child away from shoot-'em-up titles, and offer games based on sports, art, or music.
Keep an eye on your child's Internet use by locating the computer in a busy part of the house, not in his bedroom. "Our oldest, who's 6, is allowed to play on the Internet, but only supervised," says Marleen Viola. "We've IDed the sites she's allowed to go on to." There are also several versions of software that control or screen your child's Internet use.
Know that even children's movies may be problematic. Big-screen movies made for kids may still be plenty violent. Check the rating and reviews before agreeing to take your child. If there's violence in the film — or the previews — take it as an opportunity to talk about alternatives on the way home.