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Independence is strengthened during middle-school years as children spend more time away from home.
During these years the role of parents changes from “director” to “encourager.” Now is also a perfect time to build a foundation of faith, dreaming with your children about God’s good plan for their futures.
Kuykendall refers to adolescence as “the yo-yo years.” Teenagers spin out and come reeling back in as they bounce between dependence and independence. When the conditions feel smooth and non-threatening, they confidently rush full speed ahead. But when the journey gets tough or discouraging, they limp back for a dose of love and encouragement.
The parents’ role during these years, Kuykendall believes, is exampled by a mother bird that actually “discomforts” her nest, giving her offspring a reason for leaving the comfort zones.
“Some children may attempt to become their parents’ clone or stay in their shadow, thus robbing the world of the unique individual God created to serve a particular function in His kingdom,” says Thomas.
Of course, other children with strong personalities will do the opposite—reacting and rebelling from their parents.
That’s when teens need to be reminded again that freedom is earned. Trust is earned. So if they violate that trust or that freedom—such as with a missed curfew or inappropriate media—there should be consequences and a start-over period.
What about you? What do you find hardest about “letting go” during the teen years?
P.S. Don’t forget to enter this week’s photo assignment! Find out more info here!
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