My partner and I smirk as we sip our newly acquired Starbucks coffee. Ah, we relish in the joy of caffeine during our 24 hour shifts. It’s mid winter in Michigan and our ambulance has been dispatched to a residence for a well being check. Sarah, my partner, inquires, “Where are we headed?” My head is buried in our routing system as I read the additional call information, “17 year old male home alone for one week. Family has been trying to reach him for two days and has been unsuccessful. He has a history of depression and recently broke up with his girlfriend.” Sarah and I begin to discuss the possible outcomes of our call. We both know from experience what we could be walking into.
At our destination we arrive to find the house quiet. No cars in the driveway. PD is on their way with a 15 minute estimated time of arrival. Sarah and I hop out of the truck to take a look around and hopefully make contact with our patient. We discover water leaking through the siding of the house and a large ice mound on the ground. Above the ice mound we can see a showerhead through the window confirming the leak is coming from the bathroom. As we approach the back door we notice it’s open…… we begin to call out for anyone that may be in the house. There is no answer, just the sound of water running….. The kitchen counter is littered with sleeping pills and medications. As we enter the living room and begin to travel down the hallway we hear our boots sloshing on the carpet as it is saturated with water. My stomach begins to turn. Sarah sighs. The bathroom door is closed and water continues to rush out from under the doorway. Sarah discovers a letter sitting on the floor in the hallway. We both respectfully, place it aside in a dry place.
Peering at the bathroom door we silently ponder which of us will enter the bathroom? Who will bare the burden? As my hand reaches for the door knob we hear “Hello! Officer Andrews with Michigan State Police here”. Sarah and I exhale, and step away from the door. Officer Andrews asks if we’ve made entry into the bathroom. We happily decline. We explain that we are not looking forward to experiencing what lies behind the door. Officer Andrew’s shares that he is finishing his field training program and hasn’t experienced a call quite like this yet. He then reaches for the door handle and we caution him. “Are you sure you’re ok with seeing what’s in there?” He looks at us and says “Well, better me than all three of us”. And before I could say another word he disappeared into the bathroom. I felt pangs of guilt for not being the one to enter.
He emerges with confirmation that the 17 y.o. boy took his own life. Officer Andrews explains there is no reason for us to enter as the body is badly decomposed. Together we deliver the sad news to family and there is a sense of solace as we carry on. There are calls that will live on in our memories forever, the smells, the sights, the heightened emotions, and the cry of a mother that just lost her son. As we gain experience as first responders our wisdom teaches us that things seen cannot be unseen. The wise learn to lean away from the darkness. We all have our burden to bare, but we learn that somethings are better left unseen.
Sarah and I return to our station where we’re lucky to get a one hour nap before being called out again. Not a word is spoken about our call. I would have capitalized on that much needed rest, but I was not able to sleep after that call. I couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of gratitude for Officer Andrew’s sacrifice and I hoped he would be able to rest that night.
Thank you Officer Andrews.
I’m listening to your words. Your ego shines as you refer to your EMTs, Paramedics, and EMDs as “line staff.” Your language is harsh as you create separation with words such as “they” and “them”. I don’t know you or your title, just your words. There are others listening as your ego permeates. Noses crinkle as the ego aroma spreads. Your business acumen is robotic filled with facts and figures and your language is free of empathy and compassion. You are unaware of your devaluation of others in a quest for righteousness. You are top dog, woof. Those that care for the sick and injured while generating company revenue can hear you. There is no “we”, there is no “us” it is “me” and “my”. Oh my. Eyes are wide and ears are turned in awe. You have no regard for those that contribute to your daily success. Your words are clear and gratitude absent. Those that give their hearts and minds to the sick and injured better run. You have no idea what your words have done.
I won’t cry with you. I am the master of my emotions. I have to get my truck back in service. I didn’t save your husband and now I have to save myself. I can’t cry with you. I won’t. Please move away from the drug box exchange counter your pain is palpable and my stomach is turning. I’m not heartless. I have to stay the course. There are calls waiting and a status plan in place. Your husband has left and you’re broken and so I am. I have to get my equipment ready. You can cry but I cannot. There’s no time to cry. I’ll drive off into the night and never speak of this again. When I punch the time clock I’ll begin to process what happened and I’ll cry privately. I’ll remember your loss. I’ll never forget the look on your face when we stopped CPR. I won’t forget and neither will you.
There is meaning and purpose in each call we respond to. Our presence can be to act as a messenger or simply to show kindness and compassion to someone that needs it. Often, our patients teach us about ourselves and can act as catalysts for our own lives. Our work can teach us a lot about life if we are mindful. Mindfulness acknowledges that all we have is this moment, the next is not promised.
As I sip my morning coffee and complete my morning duties you begin your journey through my coverage area. You’ve just finished a vacation with your family in Michigan and you’re returning home. You have no idea that in a matter of minutes your car will be hit head on and your daughter will suffer injuries she will not recover from. When I piece together the events that preceded our meeting I imagine your son and daughter acting as typical teenagers and imagine the great vacation you had with them prior to our fateful meeting. My heart fills as I imagine you having quality time filled with happy memories with your family because these will be your last moments on earth with your daughter.
Today, my partner and I would become part of your story. First, by aiding our crew with your daughters care, then in acting as the second unit in to meet the driver of the vehicle that struck your car. Finally, we would arrive to the hospital to transport your son who also suffered injuries, but survived. You would have no idea about my involvement in your story prior to our meeting. Unprepared to see the hope in your eyes when inquiring about your daughter, you ask, “Were you there?" The reality was there was nothing anyone could say to ease your worry or pain. However, there was one thing I could offer, the gift of knowing that the driver of the other car was deeply concerned about your daughter. So, I shared this with you on our way down to our local trauma center.
Today was the worst day of your life and through caring for you and your family we were all reminded that all we have is the moment.
Looking fabulous and staying fresh while accomplishing our day as emergency medical services provider can be challenging. Our long shifts and unpredictable work environment can land us in some pretty unusual situations. Keeping your uniform appearance professional and your hair on point after crawling through a window or accident scene might demand attention to maintain. So, how can you seamlessly look and smell fabulous all day? Here are some tips and tricks from real EMS providers about what works for them.
Tip #1 Deodorant. Sure, no one should be leaving for the day without applying deodorant, however, there is a big difference between running a simple errand without deodorant and working an EMS shift. Deodorant is a must. Your partner, customers, and patients will appreciate you more without body odor. Further, the aluminum free natural deodorants tend to be less effective than the aluminum containing deodorants. Recommendation, when working a 24 hour rotation keep a deodorant stick in your station for use when needed, especially during the summer. Depending on your body chemistry and deodorant of choice, you may need to reapply it during your rotation.
Tip # 2 Eye Shadow Primer. Using eye shadow primer before applying your eye shadow will keep your eye makeup in place much longer. Also, the primer prevents your eye shadow from seeping into your eyes. There’s nothing fun about red irritated eyes while interacting with patients and customers. Recommendation, if you’re working long shifts and wearing eye make-up try eye shadow primer. My personal favorite is Urban Decay eye shadow primer. Primer is essential for hot days and for wearing eye make-up for long durations.
Tip # 3 Gel nail polish. Opting for gel nail polish over regular nail polish means your polish will generally last longer. In addition, short nails will bode better than longer nails on the job. Recommendation, for longer lasting nail polish use gel based nail polish on shorter nails. If you’re able to hit the nail salon, professionally done nails tend to last longer when compared to at home nail care. Coordinating your nails with a company color can make your uniform pop!
Tip #4 Hand Moisturizer. This beauty tip is especially helpful during the winter months and/or when frequently washing your hands. Keeping a small portable hand moisturizer handy keeps your hands moisturized and prevents dry cracked skin. Recommendation, prevent dry skin by keeping a small portable hand moisturizer with you in the ambulance and/or station. My personal favorites are Burt’s Bees almond milk hand cream and Burt’s Bees hand salve.
Tip #5 Breathable Comfortable Undergarments. Wearing undergarments and t-shirts that are breathable and comfortable is important to stay fresh and comfortable while in uniform. Breathable moisture wicking technology is a crowd pleaser. Nikki Rose, Senior Paramedic, in Ann Arbor Michigan commented that she truly enjoys body suit Spanx. She enjoys the seamless wear and the moisture wicking technology. Nicolas Diggs Senior Paramedic in Ann Arbor Michigan commented that he enjoys Airism t-shirts from Uniqlo. He explained that the material is soft, wicks well, and doesn’t stain. Further, the price point is reasonable. Sarah Helman, Paramedic in Ann Arbor Michigan, commented that she enjoys Kirkland signature wool blend trail socks while on duty because they are comfortable, wick moisture, and regulate temperature well during extreme heat and cold. Recommendation, look for comfortable, seamless, moisture wicking undergarments.
Tip #6 Fabric Stain Remover. For those agencies that choose white shirts and lighter colored uniform shirts this is a great tip. No spare uniform shirt handy? Keep a stain removing stick on hand in the truck and station. No one wants to wear their coffee all day. Recommendation, purchase stain remover pens for unexpected spills. Have your cake and eat it too! My personal choice, Tide to Go Pens. Also, something I accidentally discovered while in a pinch, the sanitizer VioNex works pretty well on certain fabrics and stains.
Tip #7 Waterproof Mascara. Why waterproof? Make-up products that are not waterproof tend to move with the presence of moisture. Waterproof mascara will get into your eyes while sleeping on shift and presto you will wake with red irritated eyes. Using waterproof mascara helps prevent this. Recommendation, if you’re working a 24 hour shift or notice that your eyes are irritated after long shifts try switching to a waterproof version of your mascara.
Tip #8 Boot Odor Destroyer. We wear our boots for long durations in extreme conditions. Even the most breathable designs will develop odor over time. Boot designs vary and certain designs may breathe better than others, however, odor will rear it’s ugly head eventually. Generally, the older the work boot the stinkier. How to cope, purchase a boot deodorizer product. There are a bunch of options, Arm & Hammer has odor fighting balls you can place in your boots at night. Dr. Scholl’s sells sprays and powders designed for sneakers and boots. Recommendation, treat boot oder regularly with a deodorizing product. In addition, breathable moisture wicking socks help combat boot odor.
Tip #9 Toothbrush/Mouthwash. Keeping a portable toothbrush and/or mouthwash handy will help combat bad breathe during long shift rotations. A lot can happen during a 24 hour shift. Consuming your favorite garlic sauce from a Mediterranean restaurant and not freshening up after could lead to some less than desirable smells. Further, consuming sugary, acidic foods over a 24 hour period and not brushing could create cavities. Recommendation, keep a toothbrush and/or mouthwash at your station and use as needed.
Tip #10 Practicing Kindness, Compassion, and Mindfulness. This may sound cheesy, but, there is nothing less fabulous than a poor attitude and lack of regard for others. The smell of arrogance cannot be remedied by deodorant. Treating others poorly does not exude beauty on any level. Be kind. Your smile is your signature.
Emergency Medical Services Emotional Armor. Are you Wearing it?
We all wear armor.
Many want to believe we wear our hearts on our sleeves while on the job, but is this possible? Can we be connected to our emotions and effectively do our job? Is armoring up a survival tactic?
Armor can show up for us all differently depending on our coping preferences. There are many styles of armor: cynical armor, humorous armor, quiet focused armor, “I’m better than everybody” armor, sick humor armor, puff out your chest armor, anger armor, bury your feelings armor and the list goes on. Below you’ll find a short blog about a recent experience that put into motion my quest to blog and understand more about emotional armor in emergency medical first responders. Please feel free to comment below and share your experiences.
Our patient is in cardiac arrest. There’s a sense of relief relayed about our arrival on scene. Staff peered at us with sadness as we get our equipment prepared. It’s clear that this patient’s medical emergency caught everyone off guard. I can feel the energy in the room. It’s clear that this skilled nursing facility had a bond with this patient. An air of hope is coming from their corner of the room. With a heavy heart, I feel as if I am alone in knowing that this patient has already left their body peacefully. During the resuscitation attempt I notice a very young face peering at me from the corner of the room. She appears to be a nurses assistant and is intently watching me. Our resuscitation attempt leaves our patient in a continued state of peace.
After sitting down with family on scene to answer questions I see this young lady again as I traverse the hallway. She again is watching me intently and smiles. I smile back and say hello in a friendly manner. I then proceed to complete paperwork and notice this same young lady standing in the hallway watching the family grieve. It’s as if she is watching this take place for the first time. I notice her smile has gone. There is an uneasiness about her. My armor allows me to continue with my duties.
Amidst burying my head in paperwork I look up to see this young lady standing across from me with tears streaming down her face. I stand from my chair with hesitation, my armor is heavy. She then bursts into tears and staff rushes to her side to comfort her as I stand paralyzed. I want to go over to her but my armor is too heavy. A staff member standing next to me explains that she is new to her position and also new to healthcare. She explains that this was her first death and assured me that she would be alright.
I stood there and watched her walk down the hallway crying. I felt sadness and admiration. This young lady was having a normal reaction to loss and was embarrassed by her natural response. She felt vulnerable and was trying to hide her feelings as we often do. I wanted to run down the hallway and give her big hug. I wanted to tell her not to ever hide her empathy and compassion. I wanted to cry with her and assure her it was honorable to see her humanity. But I didn’t....... my armor was too heavy.
