To remember, when the way is dark...
To remember, when the way is dark...
God is good.
I know that I say that in a vast range of circumstances (because it's true... all the time...) but today I could feel it, this deep, pulsing assurance of His goodness. Not just in a general sense, but in very specific situations and particular providence. It's like seeing the flip side of some of the drama/spiritual warfare that has been so thick in Bloomington recently, seeing God's faithfulness as His people work on living faithfully, on persevering in hard situations, repenting, seeking reconciliation and shalom.
It's incredible.
It's not easy. I have friends right now who are walking hard paths that are uncertain and dark and scary. These friends are resisting the urge to kindle their own torches and light their own fires to bring comfort and to ward off their darkness, and instead choosing to trust in the name of the Lord and to rely on Him (Isaiah 50:10-11). It's challenging and inspiring and beautiful and I feel, right now, like I am getting to be a witness to some miracles.
I keep thinking of Leif Enger's words in Peace Like a River.
like strange sudden pains unknown in medical literature.
They rebut every rule all we good citizens take comfort in...
though ignoring them will change you also...
No miracle happens without a witness.
Here's what I saw. Here's how it went. Make of it what you will.
Yes. It does bother me, at some level, to see hearts changing in ways that I can't account for according to natural means. It is not comfortable to my cynical nature that wants to be self-sufficient and self-protective and in control of everything. It is scary.
But it is so very, very good. Not tame at all. But good.
Because God is good.
There are many miles to go. Many dangers, toils, and snares still to go through, I'm sure. And yet -- I'm reveling in the feeling today of remembering, and knowing, that although we may walk in darkness, we can trust God.
It's a confounding thing to me when I simply can't find the words to even begin to express what's in my heart. Yet that's where I've been for months, my mind full of different ways to begin but with no idea what to say in the middle or at the end, because it feels to me that there aren't enough words in the world for this story.
I found that adults often don’t feel particular competent and that nearly everyone has days when they want to crawl into a blanket fort and let the real adults deal with the problems of the world.
Another summer has spun to its end, seven weeks going by at a dizzying speed, crammed full of time with people I love and conversations, taking classes and writing papers, playing and traveling, crying and laughing, eating good food and soaking in the beauty of America, drinking sazeracs and arguing about English grammar, taking pictures and reading books.
This morning, as I boarded my first flight, Susan sent me a message to check out Jonathan Gabriel Masters' album The Spirit and the Bride. It's well worth the listen and comes neatly full circle to how I left Bloomington at the start of my three year stint in China, on a bus to Wheaton, listening to Josh Garrels' Love & War & The Sea In Between.
To remember, when the way is dark...
