  The fate of an astronaut unfortunate -- or foolish -- enough to find
themselves hurtling towards spaghettification after passing the event horizon
of a black hole is a common anecdote told by scientists to the regular
population. However, despite the fact the Schwarzschild spacetime has been
discovered over a century ago, the simple question of how long can such a space
traveller live has not been fully elaborated on since. In fact, a few textbooks
even give a mistaken or easily misread description of what happens. We address
those inconsistencies. We calculate the proper time a space traveller equipped
with means of propulsion can expect to live in these circumstances, giving
analytical expressions (as elliptic integrals) wherever possible. We prove a
principle that explains the best strategy to extend their life, and show its'
generalisation for other spacetimes. Finally, we give quantitative answers to
what gains due to optimal control can be expected in typical and somewhat
`realistic' circumstances.
