  Gauge coupling unification misleads infrared observers if new gauge bosons do
not simultaneously come into the spectrum. Though easy to engineer in gauge
theory, the situation in string theory is nuanced, due to moduli dependence. We
study the possibility of faking gauge coupling unification in the context of
$4$d F-theory compactifications. Specifically, we formulate a sufficient
condition that we call a strong calibration, under which seven-brane gauge
couplings on homologically distinct divisors become equal at codimension one in
K\"{a}hler moduli space. We prove that a strong calibration is preserved under
appropriate topological transitions and that a pair of non-intersecting
divisors each admitting a contraction can always be strongly calibrated. Within
the Tree ensemble, we find that $\approx 77.12\%$ of pairs of intersecting
toric divisors can be strongly calibrated and $\approx 3.22\%$ can never be
calibrated. Physically, this means that gauge coupling unification can be faked
in most cases that we study, but in others it cannot, which is surprising from
a gauge theoretic perspective.
