  The theory community has proposed several new heap variants in the recent
past which have remained largely untested experimentally. We take the field
back to the drawing board, with straightforward implementations of both classic
and novel structures using only standard, well-known optimizations. We study
the behavior of each structure on a variety of inputs, including artificial
workloads, workloads generated by running algorithms on real map data, and
workloads from a discrete event simulator used in recent systems networking
research. We provide observations about which characteristics are most
correlated to performance. For example, we find that the L1 cache miss rate
appears to be strongly correlated with wallclock time. We also provide
observations about how the input sequence affects the relative performance of
the different heap variants. For example, we show (both theoretically and in
practice) that certain random insertion-deletion sequences are degenerate and
can lead to misleading results. Overall, our findings suggest that while the
conventional wisdom holds in some cases, it is sorely mistaken in others.
