  We present a complete classification of symmetric superfluids, namely
shift-symmetric and Poincar\'{e} invariant scalar field theories that have an
enlarged set of classically conserved currents at leading order in derivatives.
These theories arise in the decoupling limit of the effective field theory of
shift-symmetric, single-clock cosmologies and our results pick out all models
with couplings fixed by additional symmetry. Remarkably, in $ D\geq 2 $
spacetime dimensions there are only two possibilities: the Dirac-Born-Infeld
theory and Scaling Superfluids with Lagrangian $
(-\partial_{\mu}\phi\partial^{\mu}\phi)^{\alpha}$, for some real $ \alpha$. The
scaling symmetry present for any $ \alpha $ is further enhanced to the full
conformal group only for $ \alpha=D/2 $, and to infinitely many additional
generators for $ \alpha=1/2 $. We discuss the stability of Scaling Superfluids
and point out that all coupling constants are determined by the speed of sound.
