  A classical model is presented for the features of parametric down-conversion
and homodyne detection relevant to recent proposed ``loophole-free'' Bell
tests. The Bell tests themselves are uncontroversial: there are no obvious
loopholes that might cause bias and hence, if the world does, after all, obey
local realism, no violation of a Bell inequality will be observed. Interest
centres around the question of whether or not the proposed criterion for
``non-classical'' light is valid. If cit is not, then the experiments will fail
in their initial concept, since both quantum theorists and local realists will
agree that we are seeing a purely classical effect. The Bell test, though, is
not the only criterion by which the quantum-mechanical and local realist models
can be judged. If the experiments are extended by including a range of
parameter values and by analysing, in addition to the proposed digitised
voltage differences, the raw voltages, the models can be compared in their
overall performance and plausibility.
