  In this paper we describe a novel, model-independent technique of
"rectangular aggregations" for mining the LHC data for hints of new physics. A
typical (CMS) search now has hundreds of signal regions, which can obscure
potentially interesting anomalies. Applying our technique to the two CMS
jets+MET SUSY searches, we identify a set of previously overlooked $\sim
3\sigma$ excesses. Among these, four excesses survive tests of inter- and
intra-search compatibility, and two are especially interesting: they are
largely overlapping between the jets+MET searches and are characterized by low
jet multiplicity, zero $b$-jets, and low MET and $H_T$. We find that resonant
color-triplet production decaying to a quark plus an invisible particle
provides an excellent fit to these two excesses and all other data -- including
the ATLAS jets+MET search, which actually sees a correlated excess. We discuss
the additional constraints coming from dijet resonance searches, monojet
searches and pair production. Based on these results, we believe the
wide-spread view that the LHC data contains no interesting excesses is greatly
exaggerated.
