  Quasiparticles and analog models are ubiquitous in the study of physical
systems. Little has been written about quasiparticles on manifolds with
anticommuting co-ordinates, yet they are capable of emulating a surprising
range of physical phenomena. This paper introduces a classical model of free
fields on a manifold with anticommuting co-ordinates, identifies the region of
superspace which the model inhabits, and shows that the model emulates the
behaviour of a five-species interacting quantum field theory on
$\mathbb{R}^{1,3}$. The Lagrangian of this model arises entirely from the
anticommutation property of the manifold co-ordinates. This is part one of a
series, which continues in arXiv:2108.07719 and arXiv:0805.3819, and concludes
in arXiv:2008.05893 with a first-principles calculation of the value of the
gravitational constant in the classical analogue model.
