  The $\mathbb{C}^{\wedge 2\mathfrak{n}}$ models are analogue models which
generate Lagrangians for quasiparticles on $\mathbb{R}^{1,3}$ from
antisymmetric vector products on Grassmann manifolds. This paper introduces
$\mathbb{C}^{\wedge 18}$, the smallest member of this series which is capable
of hosting a quasiparticle spectrum analogous to the Standard Model. Once all
gaugeable degrees of freedom have been fixed, the particle spectrum of
$\mathbb{C}^{\wedge 18}$ is seen to resemble the Standard Model plus two
additional weakly interacting bosons and a ninth gluon.
