  Taking the formal analogies between black holes and classical thermodynamics
seriously seems to first require that classical thermodynamics applies to
relativistic regimes. Yet, by scrutinizing how classical temperature is
extended into special relativity, I argue that it falls apart. I examine four
consilient procedures for establishing classical temperature - the Carnot
process, the thermometer, kinetic theory, and black-body radiation. I show how
their relativistic counterparts demonstrate no such consilience in defining
relativistic temperature. Hence, classical temperature does not appear to
survive a relativistic extension. I suggest two interpretations for this
situation - eliminativism akin to simultaneity, or pluralism akin to rotation.
