  A natural question in the theory of Tannakian categories is: What if you
don't remember $\Forget$? Working over an arbitrary commutative ring $R$, we
prove that an answer to this question is given by the functor represented by
the \'etale fundamental groupoid $\pi_1(\spec(R))$, i.e.\ the separable
absolute Galois group of $R$ when it is a field. This gives a new definition
for \'etale $\pi_1(\spec(R))$ in terms of the category of $R$-modules rather
than the category of \'etale covers. More generally, we introduce a new notion
of "commutative 2-ring" that includes both Grothendieck topoi and symmetric
monoidal categories of modules, and define a notion of $\pi_1$ for the
corresponding "affine 2-schemes." These results help to simplify and clarify
some of the peculiarities of the \'etale fundamental group. For example,
\'etale fundamental groups are not "true" groups but only profinite groups, and
one cannot hope to recover more: the "Tannakian" functor represented by the
\'etale fundamental group of a scheme preserves finite products but not all
products.
