  We study static and dynamical properties that distinguish two dimensional
crystals constrained to lie on a curved substrate from their flat space
counterparts. A generic mechanism of dislocation unbinding in the presence of
varying Gaussian curvature is presented in the context of a model surface
amenable to full analytical treatment. We find that glide diffusion of isolated
dislocations is suppressed by a binding potential of purely geometrical origin.
Finally, the energetics and biased diffusion dynamics of point defects such as
vacancies and interstitials is explained in terms of their geometric potential.
