  We present a comprehensive analysis of top-philic Majorana dark matter that
interacts via a colored t-channel mediator. Despite the simplicity of the model
-- introducing three parameters only -- it provides an extremely rich
phenomenology allowing us to accommodate the relic density for a large range of
coupling strengths spanning over six orders of magnitude. This model features
all `exceptional' mechanisms for dark matter freeze-out, including the recently
discovered conversion-driven freeze-out mode, with interesting signatures of
long-lived colored particles at colliders. We constrain the cosmologically
allowed parameter space with current experimental limits from direct, indirect
and collider searches, with special emphasis on light dark matter below the top
mass. In particular, we explore the interplay between limits from Xenon1T,
Fermi-LAT and AMS-02 as well as limits from stop, monojet and Higgs invisible
decay searches at the LHC. We find that several blind spots for light dark
matter evade current constraints. The region in parameter space where the relic
density is set by the mechanism of conversion-driven freeze-out can be
conclusively tested by R-hadron searches at the LHC with 300\,fb$^{-1}$.
