  Direct LHC bounds on colored SUSY particles now corner naturalness more than
the measured value of the Higgs mass does. Bounds on the gluino are of
particular importance, since it radiatively "sucks" up the stop and Higgs-up
soft masses. As a result, even models that easily accommodate a 125 GeV Higgs
are almost as tuned as the simplest version of SUSY, the MSSM: at best at the
percent level. In this paper, we further examine how current LHC results
constrain naturalness in three classes of models that may relax LHC bounds on
sparticles: split families, baryonic RPV, and Dirac gauginos. In models of
split families and bRPV, the bounds on the gluino are only slightly reduced,
resulting in a few percent tuning. In particular, having a natural spectrum in
bRPV models typically implies that tops, Ws, and Zs are easily produced in the
cascade decays of squarks and gluinos. The resulting leptons and missing energy
push the gluino mass limit above 1 TeV. Even when the gluino has a Dirac mass
and does not contribute to the stop mass at one loop, tuning reappears in
calculable models because there is no symmetry imposing the supersoft limit. We
conclude that, even if sparticles are found at LHC-14, naturalness will not
emerge triumphant.
