  Precision gauge coupling unification is one of the primary quantitative
successes of low energy or split supersymmetry. Preserving this success puts
severe restrictions on possible matter and gauge sectors that might appear at
collider-accessible energies. In this work we enumerate new gauge sectors which
are compatible with unification, consisting of horizontal gauge groups acting
on vector-like matter charged under the Standard Model. Interestingly, almost
all of these theories are in the supersymmetric conformal window at high
energies and confine quickly after the superpartners are decoupled. For a range
of scalar masses compatible with both moderately tuned and minimally split
supersymmetry, the confining dynamics happen at the multi-TeV scale, leading to
a spectrum of multiple spin-0 and spin-1 resonances accessible to the LHC, with
unusual quantum numbers and striking decay patterns.
