  In the Swampland philosophy of constraining EFTs from black hole mechanics we
study charged black hole evaporation in de Sitter space. We establish how the
black hole mass and charge change over time due to both Hawking radiation and
Schwinger pair production as a function of the masses and charges of the
elementary particles in the theory. We find a lower bound on the mass of
charged particles by demanding that large charged black holes evaporate back to
empty de Sitter space, in accordance with the thermal picture of the de Sitter
static patch. This bound is satisfied by the charged spectrum of the Standard
Model. We discuss phenomenological implications for the cosmological hierarchy
problem and inflation. Enforcing the thermal picture also leads to a heuristic
remnant argument for the Weak Gravity Conjecture in de Sitter space, where the
usual kinematic arguments do not work. We also comment on a possible relation
between WGC and universal bounds on equilibration times. All in all, charged
black holes in de Sitter should make haste to evaporate, but they should not
rush it.
