Scientists at the university of Manchester have today announced how years of study have led them to discover that The Pope is actually made of residual energy leftover from The Big Bang, similiar to what we can see in the static build up on a television screen.
Proffesor Aaron Davidson, an expert who's been working on the theory for many years, today told reporters, "After watching The Pope on television for quite some, I began to develop a hunch- why does he occasionally keep flickering on and off? Anyway, years of hard work and study later, I discovered that The Pope is actually just an image from millions of years ago- he's not there, but the light is still travelling towards slowly, so we can see him. That's why they won't let people near him- if someone puts their hand on him, it will slip straight through him."
The theory was backed up quite some time ago when Archaeologists discovered cave paintings near Rome, depicting what appears to be The Pope preaching to a pack of dinosaurs. "We were really surprised when we found this stunning bit of cave art," said Dr Stacey Hereford, an archaelogist on the team who discovered the cave painting, "The image depicts The Pope and other cardinals preaching to a large herd of dinosaurs, which isn't really that different to what it is like today."