Dale S. Brown
Many of your students have challenges that go beyond
their problems with reading words. They also have trouble "reading"
your face. They might not connect a cheerful smile with happiness.
They not only have trouble connecting the sound "s" with
the letter "s." They cannot necessarily connect an angry
tone of voice with the emotion of anger.
Social skills problems are often part of learning disabilities.
As teachers, you will find students who have major challenges getting
along with others. And, unfortunately, that sometimes means your
students may have trouble getting the most out of their relationship
As a teacher, you reap many rewards; seeing the sparkle in the
eye when they connect concept to written word, concentrating with
your student as they apply themselves to the task at hand, knowing
that you have been a crucial reason that they learned. You feel
fulfilled when they thank you.
Socially skilled students are good at giving these rewards to
their teachers, bosses, and other authority figures. They are able
to make others feel good about helping them. Some students, including
some of ours, lack the ability to make us feel good about helping
them. They can be "unrewarding to work with." Yet, we
must ask ourselves why we teach. Do we really teach for the gratitude
of our students? It is the students who are hardest to work with
who are the reason for the profession of teaching. If anyone could
teach somebody to read, then there would be no need for the profession
of teaching. It is the challenging students who are the reason for
our jobs- and an opportunity for us to grow as we serve them.
Following are some tips for working with these students. These
ideas were written in the context of the United States middle class
culture. I beg the indulgence of the large number of you who are
not working in that situation. Seek the ideas and theories behind
the specific examples and apply them to your own student population.
No matter what their cultural background, people with learning
disabilities are in culture shock in their own culture. Their perceptual
problems have made it difficult for them to pick up the hidden rules
that others know instinctively. These tips will help you help them
learn these rules.
- The student needs information about his difficulties
and how these difficulties can affect his ability to get along
with others. If they have trouble telling the difference
between the "b" and "d" sound, they may also
have trouble distinguishing between tones of voice. If they cannot
see the difference between a "c" and an "o",
they may not see the difference between a friendly smile and a
phony one. You need to explain this to them at the appropriate
- The student needs positive reinforcement. Learning
disabled people struggle alone. Adults who are tackling learning
to read need to understand that each step forward deserves rejoicing.
The journey from the valley to the plain is not less worthy than
the journey up the mountain. Some students will put themselves
down and reject your praise. In that case, break the negative
cycle of low self-esteem by saying things like:
*That is excellent. Feel the pride you deserve to feel.
*You have worked hard. People who work harder than others deserve
to feel pride and happiness when they succeed.
- Positive reinforcement must be realistic. On
the other hand, students who have experienced a multitude of special
services have often been overpraised or received praise that is
based on lowered expectations. In this case, stick to reality.
Students in this situation need to know that there is still a
long journey ahead. They should feel pride- but the seed of pride
should sprout hard work- not arrogance.
- Acknowledge the difficulties caused by the learning
disabilities. Learning disabilities challenge the student
to organize their lives well and develop a strong social network.
Unfortunately, because the disability is invisible, the student
is likely to be constantly blamed for their poor behavior when
they are not able to meet the challenge. Good phrases might include:
* "I appreciate you always coming on time and prepared. Many
people aren't able to do that."
* "You are able to concentrate for longer and longer periods
of time. Congratulations."
- Talk to the student about his behavior. Be
honest and respectful when you talk about what the student needs
to do to improve their working relationship with you. Some people,
particularly young adults, with learning disabilities are unaware
of their effects on others. Be positive in your phrasing. State
what you want to change and underemphasize what is going wrong.
Show in your voice tone and body language the way that works and
the way that doesn't work. Then show the way that works. Show
the "good" way, the "bad" way, then the "good"
*Speak in a lower tone of voice. Speak like this, not like this
(alternate your tone of voice to demonstrate.)
*Let's sit farther apart. (Move the chairs to demonstrate.)
*When you say things to me like that, I feel ordered around. Here's
another way to express the same thought.
*I'd like it if you look at me when we talk. When your eyes wander
around the room, I feel like you aren't listening to me. So, look
at me in the eye.
- Consider organizing a social group of your students.
Poor social networks and isolation are a major challenge facing
many people with learning disabilities. Consider starting a support
group or social activity group. Your local Learning Disabilities
Association of America may want to take on the job. Or a volunteer
could be found through one of the volunteer clearinghouses. This
endeavor is also worthy of staff time. Social skills are as important
to success as academic skills. The networking that goes on in
such a group can help the students and provide valuable "alumni"
support to the center at a later time.
Helping your student learn to get along with you and with others
can make a huge difference in their future. Learning about the particular
challenges faced by these students can cause you to feel rewarded
even if they are students who others find "unrewarding"
to work with. Help your students to learn social skills and you
will assist them for the rest of their life.