 
### wrong all along

the 2nd _spin the bottle_ novel

a series of prequels to _Everything Happens for a Reason..._ by

Daisy Jordan

copyright 2011 Daisy Jordan

Smashwords Edition

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### To any girl who's been in love with that one perfect boy

### previously,

### in

### spin

### the

### bottle...

"No matter what though, we have to stick together," Hillary said to Jill, Lorylyn, and Sam as they stood in Jill's pool. "Let's all make a pact right now. Not just in cheerleading, but in high school."

"Ooohh, good idea!" Lorylyn said with a grin. "Let's do it!" She held out her hand, palm down, and the other girls piled their hands on top of hers.

"To forever friendship!" Hillary proclaimed, and they all lifted their hands in the air triumphantly, smiling at each other.

***

"Hey!" Hilton called back. "There's a party Saturday night, at Landon Kessler's lake cottage. We're all going. You guys should come!"

"Sure, that'd be great!" Jill blurted, hardly able to believe it. "Thanks."

"Oh my gosh!" Lorylyn cried. "Landon Kessler?! He's, like, one of the hottest sophomore guys! Oh my gosh, I can't wait!"

"I can't believe they invited us!" Jill giggled. "This is gonna be so fun!"

***

"Hey!" Brooke cried jokingly as Brady took a big bite. "Did I say you could have a bite of that?"

"I didn't bother asking, 'cause we both know you'll let me have whatever I want, Brookie."

***

"Hey, we should play spin the bottle!" Cassidy exclaimed.

***

"I can't believe you got to kiss Landon!" Hilton gushed later as she joined Jill and Hillary. "You're so lucky! He's so hot; I've had a crush on him since, like, elementary school!"

"Haven't you ever kissed him?" Jill asked, surprised.

"No," Hilton said, wrinkling up her face. "He always just plays around with me, like a friend or something. I think he sees me as, like, a little sister."

***

Lorylyn thought she was in love. With Brady Cash. He was by far the hottest guy she'd seen at Landon's party. As she lay in bed later, she couldn't stop smiling when she thought of his eyes that were like deep pools of chocolate, or his cute curl that was always in front of them. And his smile....Lorylyn sighed contentedly to herself as she closed her eyes, picturing the way he flirted with Brooke and imagining what it would be like if she were the lucky girl he chose to flirt with...

***

Brooke and Brady had grown close last year in class, and over the summer Brooke had felt a new electricity between them. He flirted with her more than he ever had before, and she'd really started to like him. She decided right then and there that her goal was to make him hers...as soon as possible.

***

"Do you like one of them?" Hilton asked.

"Um," Jill said, feeling a little shy about it. "The one with the kind of light brown hair? Todd? He's in my English class."

***

"Hey, where the hell were you guys Saturday?" Hilton exclaimed as Jill sat down at lunch the following Monday.

"Saturday?"

"Yeah, Landon's! I can't believe you guys didn't come!"

"What?!" Jill cried, immediately upset. "Landon had a party?"

Hilton frowned suddenly. "Yeah, I can't believe you guys didn't know, 'cause Sam was even there!"

"It's okay," Jill said, boiling with anger inside. So Sam had known and not even bothered to tell them?!

***

"Okay, okay," Brooke said finally, drawing the words out with a sly, satisfied smile spreading across her face. "I may have made out with Brady just a little bit."

***

"Yeah, well we'll be at the next Landon party!" Hillary stated adamantly. "Screw Sam! She's no longer part of the pact! It's down to three of us now."

***

"I'm Todd." He held his hand out to her.

"Jill," she replied.

***

Lorylyn talked about Brady all the time, and he always flirted with her at lunch on green days. But Jill knew he had gone on a date with Brooke a couple weeks after they made out at Landon's.

"Maybe," Brooke said with a wink when Hilton asked her at lunch on a gold day if they had done more than make out this time. Jill didn't tell Lorylyn because she didn't want to ruin Lorylyn's harmless flirting time at lunch.

***

"Hey, so would you be interested in going to the Homecoming dance with Bennett?"

Jill's heart raced and then when Todd said the last word she was caught completely off guard. She'd been thinking he was going to say "with me." She stared for a moment, feeling the shock and disappointment sink in.

***

"Dirk asked me to the Homecoming dance!" Hillary gushed in an ecstatic whisper.

***

Hilton usually thought it was really easy to tell when guys their age liked girls. Which was why her gut instinct that Landon didn't like her that way was so upsetting...

***

"What about you, Brady?" Hilton asked, a teasing challenge in her voice.

"Oh, I think I know who I'm gonna ask," Brady said with a secretive grin, and Jill and Hilton exchanged a small smile. They were both sure it would be Brooke.

***

"So...would you wanna go with me?" Brady asked.

Lorylyn's mouth dropped open. "What? Me? You want me to go with you?"

***

They played spin the bottle with the empty whiskey bottle Lindy had brought along....

Brady pushed himself to his feet and walked toward Brooke. He walked right into her and kissed her all in one motion, and their bodies were pressed together for a brief second before Brady pulled away.

Jill stared after him, her mouth practically watering, then looked at Brooke. Their kiss had been so sexy it almost took her breath away.

***

"So...thanks for going out with me tonight. Do you wanna do something maybe some night this week? Like come over to my house or something?" Brady asked.

"Sure!" Lorylyn agreed, psyched.

"Awesome." Then all of a sudden he leaned over and kissed her.

***

Jill and Todd were becoming known to everyone as "really good friends." They often sat a little apart from the group, laughing and talking quietly together. Jill really didn't know that much about Todd at all, but she felt a bond between them that thrilled her.

***

"Well, I was supposed to be Rachel from _Friends_ , and Lorylyn was Monica and Hillary was Phoebe, but Hillary ditched us." Jill's eyes hardened. "And I had a cute outfit, too. A waitress outfit."

"Hey, can I be Ross?" Todd asked suddenly.

***

Jill looked into the bathroom. Hilton and Brooke were standing by one of the sinks, huddled over a plastic keg cup.

"We're gonna try to drink beer through our noses," Hilton giggled. "We heard if you do it, it comes out your ears."

***

"Hey, Jill," Bennett said as he pulled his face back from hers. "Um, would you go out with me?"

"Hell yeah, man!" somebody yelled. Jill glanced toward the voice and froze, staring. It had been Todd. He was grinning and clapping. Something inside her died.

She ripped her gaze away from Todd and turned back to Bennett. "Yeah," she said in an empty voice. "I'll go out with you."

***

"I thought there was something going on between us!" Brooke exploded. "And then just out of nowhere you asked her to the dance and now she's your girlfriend?!"

Brady shrugged again. "Well, I've liked her for a while, and I had to make a choice of who to ask to the dance." His tone was calm and indifferent.

"You liked her?! You chose her over me?! How could you do that, Brady? We had sex like, a month ago!"

"Okay, fine, Brooke, do you want an explanation? You were just for fun, okay? I wouldn't wanna date you 'cause you were way too easy."

***

"Dirk invited me to eat with his family, and I really, really want to. I would feel so bad turning him down," Hillary said in explanation. Jill was upset and angry, because not only was Hillary backing out on Thanksgiving, but also on Jill's birthday, which was the Saturday of Thanksgiving break.

***

In one swift motion, Brady's hand ran back up her stomach and cupped her breast. Lorylyn gasped and pulled away, staring at him with wide eyes.

"What, don't you wanna do that?"

"No. I mean, I don't know. I just don't wanna go that far yet."

"I'll try to control myself," Brady whispered sexily, then brought his lips back to hers. He kept his hands to himself for the rest of their make-out session, and although Lorylyn was relieved, she missed the exhilarating sensation of his hand on her bare skin.

***

When Hillary and Dirk had first started dating, Hillary had told Jill everything, every little detail of her time spent with Dirk, but lately she'd become more elusive, and Jill had a feeling it was because Hillary and Dirk had done things sexually that Hillary didn't think Jill would understand since she hadn't done them herself.

***

"Hey, Tyler? It's Jill. I...um...I think we should break up," Jill said uncomfortably when he answered the phone.

"Oh," he responded. "Um...okay." There was a short awkward silence, then Jill heard him hang up.

How pathetic...not even a question as to why she was ending it. A junior high end to a junior high relationship.

***

The night before Landon's New Year's Eve party, Hilton spent the night at Jill's house for the first time. Jill was excited. She felt like maybe Hilton was becoming her new best friend, since she didn't really have Hillary anymore.

***

Hilton wore jeans and an oversized hooded sweatshirt with a pair of huge silver hoop earrings that almost touched her shoulders. Her honey-colored hair was in a loose, messy ponytail, and she didn't even look like she was wearing any makeup.

And she looks ten times sexier than me! Jill thought. Jill wished she had her own sense of style like Hilton. Every time Jill was dressed differently, she felt stupid and embarrassed, but when Hilton dressed differently, it was on purpose...because she liked to be unique and knew she looked hot anyway.

***

"So we're like, pretty good friends, right?" Todd asked.

"Yeah, why?" Jill was thrilled he considered her a good friend.

Todd turned away from Jill and faced the lake again. "So don't tell anyone I told you this, but my parents just started counseling."

***

"Okay," Brooke said. "We're gonna play a little bit different version of spin the bottle. _Truth or dare_ spin the bottle." She grinned in Lindy's direction and Lindy gave her what could only be described as a grimace. She definitely didn't share Brooke's excitement. Jill felt uneasy...

Blake's grin was practically evil. She waited a moment before asking loudly and clearly, "Who was the last person you had sex with?"

Finally Brooke stopped laughing and raised her head long enough to share a quick look with Blake and gasp out, "It...was...Brady."

Lorylyn's dark eyes went wide, her gaze frozen on Brooke.

***

"Okay, I admit I should've told you when we first started dating. I made a mistake. But you're not gonna let that break us up, are you? Come on, you know what we have is so good."

Lorylyn was sobbing. "What we _had_. We don't have it anymore. I can't be with you now, Brady."

"So we're breaking up?"

Lorylyn stared at the wall, sobbing silently.

"Come on, Lorylyn, please don't do this!" He almost sounded like he might cry too, and Lorylyn's heart twisted.

"No, Brady! Don't do this! I can't be with you right now! I just can't!"

***

"Reed and I are definitely going out again next weekend...and, yeah, he's my boyfriend!" Hilton burst into giddy laughter. She was so glad she'd finally decided to quit obsessing over Landon. He was her dream guy. But she really liked Reed too. And, she thought now, where would I have left to go if I got my dream guy now?

***

After looking around for a couple minutes, Jill, Hillary, and Lorylyn found a vacant end of a long table. At the other end was Kara Darson, from Jill's biology class, along with two other girls they had gone to junior high with but never talked to much.

"Hey, do you guys mind if we sit here?" Hillary asked.

Kara and her friends gave them a dubious look. "Sure, I guess so," one of them finally said, not sounding overly thrilled.

***

"Hey!" Brady said, jogging across the hall to join her. "You ran out of there so fast I almost missed you!"

Lorylyn was silent, praying for her insides to calm down and let her think straight. She knew she should still be pissed, and she was; just looking at him made all the hurt come back. But it also brought another feeling...the possibility of everything being right again.

***

"If I could take it back I would," Brady said. " 'Cause if you ever decided some day down the road that you wanted to have sex with me, I'd want our first time...to be my first time."

"That's what I would've wanted too." Lorylyn burst into tears again.

***

"Hey, don't tell anyone about this," Brady whispered. " 'Cause I went over to Lorylyn's last night, and we're still trying to work stuff out, you know."

Brooke stared and quickly suppressed the urge to slap him. She smiled. "Don't worry, hon. Of course I won't tell." You can't be upset! she told herself. You just offered him sex with no strings attached and told him you were over all the drama; you _have_ to hold up to that.

***

Todd swung his arm around her and pulled her roughly to him, making her stumble a little. "Jilly, I love you."

Jill's stomach flipped. He was just joking around, but still, he'd said he loved her!

***

Todd doubled over in laughter. "Oh, holy shit, that was freaking hilarious. You were so freaked out 'cause you thought I was gonna kiss you! You should've seen your face! You would've thought I was some hideous freakin' _mon_ ster or something!"

"Shut up!" Jill cried, practically sighing with relief that he hadn't been able to tell how much she'd _wanted_ him to kiss her.

***

"Todd so likes you!" Lorylyn exclaimed.

"Do you think so?" Jill asked, surprised.

"Um, YEAH! He called you out of SRT, out of allll his friends, 'cause he wanted to hang out with you, and he bit your neck! Does it GET any more obvious?!"

***

Landon jumped into the middle of the circle and put his hand over the bottle, slowing Blake's spin and stopping the bottle so it pointed directly at Lorylyn...

"Lorylyn, come here and maybe we can find a guy for you to kiss too." He stood up and offered Lorylyn his hand...

Right in the middle of the driveway was a huge heart shaped out of red rose petals, and inside the heart was her name, written in what looked like chocolate icing. Beyond the heart, an arrow of rose petals pointed farther down the driveway...

As she neared the point of the arrow, she could now see a small box sitting in the driveway. She knelt and picked it up, removing the lid. When she saw what was inside, happy tears welled up in her eyes, and she pressed her hand to her heart as a slow grin spread across her face. It was Brady's class ring, with green thread wrapped around it to make it smaller.

There was a piece of paper underneath the ring.

Will you be my Valentine?

Love, Brady

All of a sudden she felt a hand on hers and looked up to see Brady staring down at her, his dark passionate eyes pleading with hers.

Lorylyn's grin widened into a big, silly smile. "Of course I'll be your Valentine!" She giggled and reached up to throw her arms around him, hugging him as tightly as she could. "Thank you, Brady," she whispered as she clung to him, feeling truly happy for the first time since Landon's New Year's party.

***

"So how far did you and Bennett go?" Hillary asked with a sly smile.

Jill shook her head and wrinkled her nose. "All I did was make out with him....So what all have you and Dirk done?"

"Well, not _that_ much really. I'd say like halfway between second and third base.... We'll probably do more soon."

***

Jill and Hillary played volleyball two buildings down from their own; one day they'd been walking by on the beach and some cute guys had called them over and asked them to play. So they had, and now they went back every day. Jill really liked one of the guys, Jon...

"Hey," Jon said. "My parents are going out tonight...so I think we're gonna have a little party at our place, if you guys wanna come over."

***

"Um, Dirk called, but he couldn't talk...he's gonna call back later, like around ten. So I don't think I'm gonna go to Jon and Alec's," Hillary said later.

Jill stared, so mad she couldn't find any words. She couldn't believe Hillary was letting her down like this, when Hill knew how much she liked Jon. "Why can't you just not talk to Dirk tonight? Come on, Hill, you know how much I wanna go!"

"I can't miss Dirk's phone call 'cause I'm at a party with other guys! That'd go over real well! Plus, I don't _wanna_ miss his phone call! Maybe if you had a boyfriend you'd understand!"

She is so not even a good friend anymore! Jill thought sourly. So much for the pact to stick together during high school. Well, there were three of us left. And now it's down to two.

***

"Attention, all staff and students. At this time, we are going under code green lockdown."

Todd grabbed Jill and pulled her into the boys' bathroom...

Suddenly Todd grabbed her around the waist and pulled her into the stall, shoving her against one of the walls and pressing up against her. Then, as suddenly as he'd done it, he pulled away laughing.

"Jeez, Jilly, seriously, that face again. When are you gonna learn I'm joking?"

_When are you gonna not be joking?_ Jill asked silently.

***

I'm so glad you came over," Brooke whispered.

"I'm so glad your parents went out to dinner." Brady grinned mischievously and rolled back on top of Brooke.

"Brooke? You wanna go get some ice cream?" The door opened and Lindy peered in. Brooke's eyes locked with Lindy's as Lindy's flew wide in horror.

***

Brooke's stomach twisted into a knot. She'd been so stupid...she was just letting Brady use her more than ever....He probably knew she still liked him and was laughing at her behind her back....She needed to make him think she was really just using him too. Suddenly she smiled as an idea came to her.

***

"Don't worry," Brooke said. "Lindy won't tell. I told her I was gonna end it. That I'd realized what I was doing was wrong."

"So are you?" Brady asked. "Gonna end it, I mean?"

Brooke hesitated a moment, then dropped the comforter from around her body and pretended to look thoughtful. "I don't know," she said. "Do you think we should?"

### wrong

### all

### along

### "spin the bottle"

### (part 2)

### summers of sun, cedar point

### laying out, more parties at the lake

### best friends with the boys of their dreams

### charming boys who said all the right things

### i had that gut instinct all along

### told me it was just too good to last

### but i ignored it and

### fell harder and harder instead...

### summer

### 1998

### best friends with the boys of their dreams

### chapter 1) landon's... last day of school

June 4 was the last day of school. It was a Thursday, and Landon was having a blowout that night. Jill couldn't wait. She and Hilton quickly cleaned out their lockers after school and hurried out to the front parking lot, where Jill's mom was picking them up to go hang out at Jill's until the party.

"I'm breaking up with Reed," Hilton announced emphatically as soon as they were in Jill's room.

"What?! Why?"

"He wants to have sex and I don't." Her tone was matter-of-fact, not upset, just as if she were telling Jill it was sunny outside today.

"Oh...so is he like, pressuring you?"

"Well, no not really; I mean not in the sense that he'd break up with me if I don't. But I know he's had sex before, so he doesn't really want a relationship where he's not getting it, and I just think it's gonna get really uncomfortable between us. So I just don't wanna deal with it."

"Who has he had sex with?"

"Jen Brown...you know...Taylor Brown's younger sister." Taylor Brown was graduating now and had been the quarterback last fall.

"Oh...she's a junior, right? Did her and Reed go out?"

"Yeah, for like a year. When we were in eighth grade."

"Oh. So...I mean, have you guys talked about it or anything? You're just gonna break up with him? I thought you really liked him."

Hilton shrugged halfheartedly. "Eh, I did really like him. But it's kinda like, I don't know, I'm not as into him anymore. I mean, he was fun, but he's definitely not the one I wanna have sex with, you know? So I mean, why try to work things out and drag it out, if I never can see myself sleeping with him? It'll never go to another level, so we might as well end it now."

"Yeah, I guess so..."

Hilton cracked a small smile and lowered her voice. "Okay...don't tell anybody, but I actually stopped being that attracted to him when we messed around the first time. He just wasn't that... _good_."

Hilton's smile widened, and Jill's jaw dropped in surprise. She leaned forward from her sitting position on her bed, eager to hear more. "What?! Are you serious? What happened?"

"I don't know. I mean, I never really did that much with a guy before him, and so maybe it's just 'cause I'm not used to it, you know. But something about it...I don't know, he was just going at it, kinda, you know– " Hilton and Jill both gave embarrassed laughs. "And...it didn't turn me on at all. Like when he would kiss me at first, I'd get this thrill kinda, through my whole body, you know, but then when we did other stuff, it was like I was just laying there thinking, This sucks, can we please be done soon?"

Jill's eyes widened in delighted surprise, and she covered her mouth, giggling. She couldn't believe Hilton was telling her this; it was shocking and hilarious at the same time. It also made her a bit fearful. What if the same thing happened to her? Hillary had said fooling around was so great and Jill had to try it, but Hilton had been turned off by it. What if Jill didn't end up liking it either?

Hilton was giggling too. "Seriously, I haven't told anyone else that. But I mean, how funny is that, really? One of the most popular guys in school, and he thought he knew exactly what he was doing...and he completely SUCKS!" She raised her eyebrows and smiled a tad bit guiltily, but when Jill met her eyes they both cracked up laughing. Jill rolled on her side on the bed, clutching her stomach, and Hilton suddenly had tears running down her face from laughing so hard.

"Oh...my gosh!" Jill gasped. "The next time I see him...tonight!...that's all I'm gonna be able to think!"

"Oh, shit!" More tears spilled down Hilton's face. "Oh, shit, I'm such a bitch! Oops!" She rolled onto her back on the floor and pounded her feet into the ground, unable to stop laughing. "Oh, that's gonna be so weird seeing him! I have to break up with him as soon as we get there! Oh my gosh!"

"Oh, that's so hilarious," Jill said, finally calming down a little. "It should be a fun night." Then she burst out laughing again.

***

Jill and Hilton rode to Landon's party with Cassidy's mom, as they'd always done. Hilton and Cassidy had been friends since elementary school; Jill had just met Cassidy last summer. Since Cassidy's mom had a minivan, she always gave several people rides to the parties. She also knew there was drinking at Landon's, and most of the other parents didn't, so she was the perfect one to take them there.

On the ride up to the lake, Jill and Hilton couldn't stop looking at each other and giggling.

"What are you guys laughing at?!" Sam asked finally, looking at them with wide eyes.

"Nothing," Hilton said quickly. Then she glanced at Jill, and they both lost it again. Sam shook her head and rolled her eyes at Kat, and Jill laughed even harder, feeling special because she and Hilton shared an inside joke and Sam obviously wanted to know what it was. Sam was on the outside this time...served her right for not inviting Jill, Hillary, and Lorylyn to that party last fall and trying to act all superior and popular and rub it in their faces.

It was a gorgeous, sunny day, and the temperature was in the seventies. When they got to Landon's and went around back, everyone was outside and Brady was cooking burgers. Jill smiled. This was the way Landon's parties had been last summer, when they were fun. All his parties during the school year had been too much drama! She hoped this one would be fun and nothing bad would happen. She looked around for Landon and didn't see him.

Reed spotted them and left a group of guys to approach them, a beer in his hand. "Hey, baby!" he called easily to Hilton.

Hilton looked at Jill and scrunched up her face. Jill grinned, covering her mouth to keep from laughing, and turned away, practically slamming into Todd as he approached the trash can.

"Hey, Jilly!" He reached around her to throw away an empty paper plate and Coke can.

Jill looked up at him, shaking with silent laughter.

"What the hell's up with you?" Todd gave her a weird look.

Jill shook her head helplessly, unable to talk, and turned to look at Hilton over her shoulder. Hilton had taken Reed's arm and was leading him down by the lake to talk. Her eyes met Jill's, and Hilton flashed a sly grin. Jill, thinking of what Hilton had said about Reed, shuddered exaggeratedly and stuck out her tongue.

Hilton stuck her tongue out too and pretended to be gagging. She pulled her hand quickly from Reed's arm and wrung it out at her side, as though so turned off she had to shake off the grossness. Reed didn't notice; he just put his arm around Hilton's shoulders and pulled her closer to him. Hilton shot Jill a "save me!" look, and Jill turned back to Todd, laughing hysterically.

"What the hell is up with you girls?!" Todd said, looking bewildered.

"Nothing, nothing," Jill said, wiping at her eyes.

"Oh my gosh, you're _crying_? You girls are crazy."

"No, no, it's nothing, really. Just a little joke." Jill giggled again, still wiping her eyes.

"Girls," Todd said, shaking his head. He grabbed a beer from the cooler by the patio door and headed back toward Bennett and a couple guys from the baseball team.

Jill quickly caught up with him, not wanting to be left standing by herself. "So are you glad school's out?" she asked, wiping away one last tear and managing to keep a straight face, even though her mind was still on Hilton and Reed.

" _Hell_ yes." Todd popped open his beer and took a sip. He offered it to Jill.

"No thanks."

"Have you ever been drunk?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I just don't want to."

"Why? Are you scared?"

Jill was reminded of the conversation they'd had last winter in which he'd said she was too uptight. "No, just never really wanted to get drunk before."

"Um...okay."

" _Um...okay,_ " Jill mimicked. She hated feeling like he was making fun of her or looking down on her.

Todd threw his arm around her shoulder and shoved his beer bottle up to her mouth, tipping it up so it spilled all over her face.

"Todd! Stop it!" she shrieked, giggling. She wiped her mouth and chin with the back of her hand.

"Yummy, yummy!" Todd said, raising the bottle to her mouth again.

Jill ducked out from under his arm and spun around out of his reach.

He held the bottle out and waved it tauntingly at her. "Come get it...you know you want it...come on."

Jill glared teasingly at him and kept her distance. As she stared him down, she thought how hot he looked tonight, with his light brown surfer hair that angled down across his forehead and reached just past his ears, and his mesmerizing chocolate eyes that she'd gotten lost in more than once...

He stepped slowly toward her and she inched backward. He was still holding the bottle out and grinning. Jill was trying to keep her glare in place, but she was having trouble not breaking into a smile.

Suddenly Todd lunged at her and whisked her off her feet, tossing her over his shoulder as if she weighed nothing. Jill's stomach did a little jump, and she grinned into the back of Todd's shirt. This was great! Then she started pounding on his back, pretending to be upset. "Todd! Put me down! Damn it, put me down right now!"

She expected him to carry her over to where Bennett and his other friends were standing and put her down there, since that's where they'd been heading before he picked her up. Suddenly, though, she realized they were going downhill. Oh no! He was taking her toward the lake!

"Todd! Put me down right now! Seriously! I will be so pissed if you throw me in the lake!"

Todd was jogging now. The ground had flattened out again and Jill knew they must be almost to the water. Then suddenly they were on the dock.

" _Todd!_ Stop! Don't throw me in! _Stop! Put me down!_ "

All of a sudden Todd jerked to a stop and dropped Jill unceremoniously on her feet. She glanced down and saw the end of the dock less than six inches behind her. When she looked back up, Todd was laughing, his eyes glinting mischievously. Jill reached out to shove him.

"Oh my gosh, Todd! What the hell was that?!"

He caught her arm as she tried to shove him and held it in place so she couldn't reach his body. She swung the other arm and he caught that one too, still laughing.

Jill tried kicking at him, but she didn't have a good angle, so she pulled her arms away and acted as though she were done fighting him.

"Aww, Jilly, you poor baby," Todd said teasingly. "You actually thought I'd throw you in." He took a sip of beer. "Ew, all foamy."

"Serves you right! I can't believe you almost did that!" Jill folded her arms across her chest and leaned away as he went to put his arm around her, but she purposely cracked a small smile, hoping he'd notice but think he wasn't supposed to.

It worked. He drew her closer and started walking back up the dock with her. Jill unfolded her arms and moved as if to put one around his waist, then shoved him as hard as she could, putting all her weight into it. Caught by surprise, Todd was knocked off balance and he stumbled to the edge of the dock, tripping over his own feet and crashing off the side into the water with his beer bottle.

Jill giggled hysterically, grinning at him victoriously as he surfaced, beer bottle still in hand. She raised her arms and twirled around in a circle, gloating.

"Oh, you better run, Jill!" Todd yelled as he began to pull himself out of the water. He dumped his beer bottle on the dock. "It's on now!"

Jill squealed, then turned and took off for the house as fast as she could. He caught her when she was barely off the dock, grabbing her around the waist from behind. As his arms encircled her waist and closed tightly around her, Jill felt that thrill again, the one she'd felt course through her whole body when they were hiding in the pantry in the coaches' lounge so they wouldn't get caught skipping SRT, or when he'd pressed up against her jokingly in the bathroom during lockdown.

Todd lifted her, kicking and screaming, and hauled her the couple steps back onto the dock. "Bet you're wishing you would've thought twice about pushin' me in now, huh?" he asked smugly. "Payback's a bitch!"

Jill still struggled against him, pretending she wanted to be free. "Let me go now, you jackass!"

"Okay, fine, I'll let you go," Todd said. He released his arms from around her waist, and just as Jill was getting back into a normal standing position, Todd shoved her from behind and sent her toppling into the lake.

"Ahhhh!" Jill screamed as she surfaced. "Todd! I can't believe you!" She pushed her hair out of her eyes and tried to smooth it down in back.

Todd stood on the dock with his arms folded across his chest, grinning smugly. "Told you payback's a bitch!"

***

Hilton approached the lake with Reed, suddenly uncomfortable. She knew she had to break up with him, but she hadn't even thought about what to say. Damn it! She looked out at the water, trying to think quickly.

Reed suddenly pulled her close and put his arms around her waist, resting his hands on her butt. Hilton practically shuddered, she was so turned off by him now. At least he'd just made it a lot easier. She stepped back, out of his grasp.

"Reed, I'm breaking up with you."

"What?" Reed asked, narrowing his eyes and sounding pissed. Hilton figured no girl had ever broken up with him before.

"Yeah. I just...we want different things." She decided to be honest, at least partially. "I'm not gonna have sex with you, Reed. And I know that's important to you. But I'm just not ready. So I don't want either of us to waste our time."

Reed was still frowning, but he didn't look as angry. "So...you're not mad at me about it?"

"No." Hilton shrugged carelessly. "I mean, if I was a guy, I'd probably want it too. Especially when you've had it before, I understand it'd be hard for you to be in a relationship now where you're not getting it. So no hard feelings, okay?" She touched his arm lightly and smiled.

"All right, cool...well, thanks, I guess." Reed looked baffled now, but he smiled back at her.

Just then Hilton heard loud shrieks behind her and turned to see Todd running toward the lake with Jill draped over his shoulder and pounding on his back.

" _Todd!_ Stop! Don't throw me in! _Stop! Put me down!_ "

Hilton's jaw dropped in surprised laughter. This is great! she thought. I bet Jill's _loving_ it!

Reed started back up the hill toward the house, and Hilton stayed where she was, laughing out loud as Jill shoved Todd in the lake. Hilton raised her arms in the air in victory, but Jill didn't see her. She was already squealing and running as Todd climbed out of the lake and chased after her.

They are _so cute_ together, Hilton thought. And based on the way Todd acted around Jill, Hilton was _sure_ he must like her, or at least be attracted to her. Hilton had plenty of experience with guys flirting and being all touchy-feely; she knew all the sophomore guys like Kevin and Matt who flirted with her found her attractive, and most of them would probably date her.

But Landon was another story. For some reason, while she felt most of the older guys looked at her as an equal, she felt like Landon looked at her as a younger sister, or a younger friend to look out for, not a potential girlfriend.

But who knew, maybe she could change that.

Suddenly a boat sped by far out on the lake, and Hilton squinted, putting her hand over her eyes. A blonde girl flew behind the boat on water skis, ripping through the waves like a pro. Hilton grinned. It was Lindy. She and Landon must have taken the boat out. Hilton looked up at the sky and imagined Landon waterskiing; she'd seen him do it once last summer when she'd gone out on the boat with him and Lindy and Brady and Brooke and a couple other people. He'd looked _so_ hot.

Hilton smiled happily as she went to meet Jill and Todd, who were now walking up the dock, both of them soaking wet. She did still like Landon, and breaking up with Reed had put her in a great mood. And now she and Jill had the whole summer ahead of them to work on getting the guys they wanted.

***

"This is so fun," Hilton said several hours later as she and Jill sat at a picnic table sharing a beer. Hilton was actually drinking most of it; Jill had only taken a few sips, but she hoped Todd would see her and think she was living it up a little.

She'd been disappointed when Todd didn't go skinny-dipping with everyone else, but she'd made a point of being extra loud and giggly, splashing around energetically and swimming closer than normal to some of the older boys, hoping Todd would notice and maybe even be a little jealous as he stood up by the stone wall with Bennett. She wanted to look like she was having a good time and didn't need him around in order to do so. She _was_ having a good time, but one eye was constantly seeking him out, looking to see if he was watching her, willing him to come talk to her.

"Look at Lorylyn and Brady," Hilton said in a relaxed, contented tone of voice, pointing lazily. "They're so adorable. I love them."

Jill's gaze followed Hilton's outstretched finger. Lorylyn and Brady were dancing playfully to a slow song, stepping clumsily around in a big circle and smiling intimately at each other, as if enjoying a private joke.

"They are adorable," Jill sighed. "Man, I want a boyfriend so bad!"

"Hey, did you notice Matt and Brooke have been hanging out like, all night?" Hilton nodded toward the opposite side of the patio from Lorylyn and Brady. Just off the cement, Brooke and Matt sat side-by-side on a chaise lounge spread out in the grass. They were almost out of the light that flooded the patio, but it looked like they were smiling and having an animated conversation.

"Hmm, interesting." Jill stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned back against the table. She suddenly felt exhausted. She raised her hand to her mouth to cover a yawn.

"You made me yawn," Hilton said, covering her mouth as well. "Hey look, Reed's talking to Jen. Aww, that's good. Maybe they'll get back together."

"That'd be cool, I guess. You wouldn't care?"

"No."

"Hey, ladies."

Jill and Hilton turned to see Landon approaching.

"Hey, hottie," Hilton said with a flirtatious smile.

Jill envied Hilton's ability to talk to the guy she liked so confidently; she couldn't ever imagine herself saying "Hey, hottie" to Todd.

"So, I hear the gorgeous Hilton Joliet is single." Landon took the beer from Hilton's hand and took a long swig.

"Maybe," Hilton said.

"Maybe?"

"I don't know. Who's interested?"

"Wow, I think I just got shot down," Landon said dryly. He glanced at Jill, and she laughed.

"Were you proposing something?" Hilton asked, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"Maybe," Landon grinned.

"Maybe?"

"What would you be up for?"

"Hmmm." Hilton pretended to ponder the question. "Maybe a dance?"

"All I get is a dance? Damn. What do you think, Jill? I think she's shooting me down."

Jill grinned and shrugged.

"A hug?" Hilton asked.

"I'll take a hug _and_ a dance."

"I don't know, that's a lot..."

"Oh, you little tease!" Landon laughed and pulled Hilton up off the bench, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and neck in a monstrous hug.

Hilton giggled and slid her arms around his waist, swaying her hips and shoulders and rocking them both from side to side.

"Okay, now I get a dance," Landon said, grabbing Hilton's hand and dragging her toward the patio.

"Jill, save me!" Hilton cried. Landon hooked his arm around her neck and pulled her head down, and the two of them laughed. As they walked up to the patio, Hilton turned and flashed Jill an excited smile.

Jill grinned back, happy for Hilton. Just then the bench beside her sank in as someone plopped down on it. Jill turned to see Todd.

"Hey, Jilly." He was out of breath, and his long hair was all over the place.

"What were you doing?!" Jill asked, even though she knew because she hadn't lost sight of him all night.

"Playing football." Todd motioned down by the water. "Damn, I'm thirsty. Wanna get a beer?" He laughed and swatted at her hair.

"I'll share one with you," Jill said bravely.

Todd looked at her in surprise. "Really?"

"Yeah, sure, I just had one with Hilton."

"Okay, then. Yeah, Jilly! I'll go get one, hold on. I'll be right back."

As he headed up to the cooler by the patio door, Jill smiled in satisfaction. She wouldn't really have to drink much, and now she had a foolproof excuse for spending the next twenty minutes or so with Todd.

But just as Todd returned to the picnic table, Landon stepped off the patio and announced it was time for spin the bottle. Jill was torn; she wanted to play, but she was disappointed she wouldn't get to sit and talk to Todd now. She looked for Hilton and saw her step off the patio behind Landon and take a seat by him on the grass. Jill turned to Todd.

"Wanna play?" he asked. "Come on. Let's go." He stood up and grabbed Jill's hand, pulling her to her feet. As they walked to join the circle, he handed her the beer and she took a small sip. She held the bottle up to her mouth for an extra second though, so it'd look like she was drinking more.

Todd smiled at her as she handed the bottle back. "See, it's not so bad, right?"

Jill swallowed back a gag. "No, it's all right, I guess."

She was thrilled to be sitting next to Todd; at least if she didn't get to kiss him, she'd still get to be close to him. As the game began, Jill was more conscious of Todd's body next to hers than she was of the game. Every time he shifted she was aware of it, and when he pulled his knees up to his chest and his elbow briefly brushed her arm, she felt butterflies in her stomach.

"Ooohh, Todd!" someone suddenly squealed.

Jill looked up to see Blake Bishop walking toward them. Jill realized with a sick feeling that Blake's spin must have landed on Todd.

"A repeat of New Year's!" Blake giggled, and Jill felt like gagging even more than she had after every drink of beer. She'd been unbearably jealous when Blake had drawn Todd's name on New Year's and gotten to kiss him, and it just added to her list of reasons to hate Blake.

"Here," Todd said, handing the beer bottle to Jill as he stood up to meet Blake.

She took it with a roll of her eyes. Great, I get to hold his beer while he kisses another girl, she thought sarcastically. She met Hilton's eyes across the circle and they both rolled their eyes. Hilton stuck out her tongue ever so slightly, and Jill cracked a small smile.

She turned back to Todd and Blake, dreading watching them kiss but unable to not watch.

She was relieved to see it was just a brief smack on the lips. Todd immediately turned and headed back to his seat, and Jill could tell Blake was disappointed. _Ha!_ she thought smugly.

Then Todd spun, and when the bottle stopped it pointed to Jill. She could hardly believe it. She was suddenly shaky all over from a mixture of excitement, nerves, and shock. She couldn't even look at Hilton or Lorylyn. She looked at the ground, then at Todd.

"Hey, I don't even have to get up this time!" Todd said, and everyone laughed. "Come here, Jilly," he said teasingly, putting his arm around her and pulling her close.

Jill's face was suddenly inches from his, and she was reminded once again of the time they'd had to hide, pressed tightly against each other, in the small pantry in the coaches' lounge to save themselves from getting caught skipping SRT, and Todd had teasingly brought his face so close to hers and then bit her neck.

Now, she quickly closed her eyes because she was afraid he'd be able to read everything she was feeling if she looked at him too long. Then his lips were on hers...full and warm and moist.

It was over before she could even think or breathe. Todd released his arm from her shoulders, and she quickly opened her eyes and pulled away, embarrassed. She hoped it hadn't been obvious to him and everyone else how caught up in the moment she'd been, or how much she'd wanted that kiss. Her head was reeling and she felt suddenly dizzy.

Todd ruffled her hair. "You gotta spin now, Jilly."

Jill blinked and laughed awkwardly. "I know." She reached out and spun. The bottle landed on Hilton.

Jill breathed a sigh of relief. She didn't think she could handle kissing another guy right now, plus she didn't want to. She wanted to savor the taste of Todd's lips on hers. She was afraid she'd look and feel shaky walking across the circle. Everything was happening so fast; she hadn't expected the kiss with Todd, and she was in a sort of happy daze...it was like this wasn't even real...none of it was actually happening.

She walked quickly to meet Hilton in the middle of the circle and they kissed each other lightly on both cheeks. Hilton was grinning from ear to ear.

"Hell yeah!" she whispered ecstatically. "Was it good? I wanna hear all about it!"

Jill grinned back, unable to hide her excitement.

"On the lips!" someone yelled.

"You wouldn't kiss another guy on the lips!" a girl yelled back. "You guys never do! So why should we have to?"

"Oh, what the hell?" Hilton said carelessly. She grabbed Jill's face in both hands and squashed her lips against Jill's, making a smacking sound. Both girls giggled as all the boys clapped and whistled.

When Jill returned to her seat, the lightheaded feeling was gone and she was back to normal.

"Um, that was hot," Todd said.

Jill laughed. "Must be the beer," she lied boldly. She flipped her dark hair over her shoulder and pretended to be focused on the spinning bottle in the grass, secretly smiling to herself.

Although she'd barely had two sips of beer, this was what she imagined it must feel like to be drunk. A giddy high, a sort of blur, the careless ability to step outside of herself, to be bolder, more confident. More like the person she wanted to be on a regular basis. More like Hilton. And it was all because of a half-second kiss with Todd.

Wow, girl, you are out of control! she told herself, and then Todd was whispering in her ear and she leaned closer to hear.

"You were better than Blake."

When she looked over at him, he flashed a goofy grin that she knew was meant to tease and punched her lightly in the shoulder.

Her heart soared. She didn't care if he was serious or not. She wasn't even going to analyze it. All that mattered was that he'd said it. He'd given her that compliment, and she wanted to take it seriously, so she would. He'd given her something to tell Hilton and Lorylyn about later, something she could always think about and smile.

She leaned back from his punch as if offended. "Well... _obviously_ ," she scoffed, then laughed and ducked as Todd swatted at her with one hand and shoved the beer bottle up to her mouth with the other. She hoped this Todd high would last all summer.

### chapter 2) perfect...

Every year for Hillary's and Lorylyn's birthdays, Jill, Hillary, Lorylyn, and Sam went to Cedar Point with Hillary's parents. They always booked a hotel room and stayed overnight, and it was probably the one thing Jill most looked forward to every year besides spring break in Fort Myers Beach.

"So I was thinking this year, we go by ourselves," Hillary said the day after Landon's end-of-school party. She, Lorylyn, and Jill were standing around the shallow end of Jill's pool, soaking up the sun on the first really hot day of the year. "Without my parents. And without Sam, of course." She rolled her green eyes dramatically.

Jill, Hillary, and Lorylyn had fallen out of close friendship with Sam last fall when Sam had purposely failed to tell them about one of Landon's parties and the three of them had all missed the party. Hillary had declared Sam no longer part of the pact the four of them had made before starting high school to always stick together.

Later in the year, Hillary's obsession with her new boyfriend Dirk and a string of betrayals toward Jill had led Jill to bitterly eliminate Hillary from the pact in her own mind, but Hillary had never thought she did anything wrong and still considered herself very much part of the pact. For part of spring break Jill and Hillary had barely been on speaking terms, but since then things had smoothed themselves out, and Jill no longer felt bitter toward Hillary, but she did feel distant from her; she no longer felt the closeness she and Hillary had shared since preschool.

"What do you mean, by ourselves?" Lorylyn asked. "We can't drive!"

"Well, I mean with the guys," Hillary said, a sly smile sliding across her lips. "Like, Brady could drive."

"Oh, that'd be so fun!" Lorylyn cried, clapping her hands. "Wait, though...we'd only be able to stay for the day then."

"Oh, no, we'd definitely be staying the night," Hillary said assuredly.

"What?! How could we do that?"

"Well, it'd be easy for you guys. You just act like nothing's changed; your parents think mine are going, so just don't tell them any different. I'm the only one who has to make something up. But I've already got it figured out. I'll just say Lindy's going and driving."

"You really think that'll work? Your parents won't care there's not an adult?" Jill asked doubtfully. She was nervous about lying to her parents yet again; it seemed it was happening more and more often. And she'd have to tell them Hillary's parents weren't going, because their families were good friends and it'd be bound to come up sooner or later. But she was excited too, because there was a possibility Todd would go if some of the other guys went. She could just tell him about it and make it sound like a big group outing and casually invite him...

"Yeah, probably," Hillary said, waving Jill's question away with her hand. "They've loosened up a lot this year, now that I'm in high school. They had said I couldn't date till I started sophomore year, but now they're letting me right after my birthday. Even though Dirk can't drive yet, so it probably won't make much of a difference." She rolled her eyes. "Or maybe I'll say Lorylyn's parents wanna take us this year. Whatever. All I know is I'm spending the night in a hotel with Dirk." She grinned.

"Oh my gosh!" Lorylyn said, suddenly worried. "You're not gonna have sex with him, are you? Oh my gosh, I don't know if I feel comfortable staying in a hotel with Brady! Couldn't we do like a guys' room and a girls' room?"

"Well, you two can stay together if you want," Hillary said, motioning to Jill and Lorylyn. "But I'm staying with Dirk."

"So are you really gonna sleep with him, Hill?!" Jill asked, completely shocked.

"I don't know." Hillary looked truly thoughtful. "I've been thinking about it a lot, you know? I mean, I'm gonna be fifteen. And wouldn't it be perfect to do it for the first time on my birthday?" Her eyes had a dreamy look.

"Agh!" Lorylyn shrieked. "I am _so_ not doing it on my birthday! Not until I'm like twenty-one or something! I can't believe you're thinking about it!"

Hillary shook herself out of her trance. "Well, it's not like I decided for sure yet. So who knows. But I still think we should go with the boys. What do you think, Jill?"

"I think it sounds fun. Who all would go?"

"Um, like Dirk, Brady...I don't know...maybe Todd, Bennett? Hilton? We should ask Hilton. And whatever guy she wants to bring."

Jill's pulse quickened. If there was any chance Todd was going, she was in for sure. "Sounds good," she said, trying to keep her voice casual.

"Lorylyn? You wanna ask Brady if he'll drive? And we'll probably need at least one other person who can drive. We can figure something out. And then I'll tell Dirk to ask whoever else he wants."

That would _have_ to include Todd, Jill thought. Right? Todd and Dirk were practically best friends....She hoped so! Hillary's birthday was June 10, and Lorylyn's was June 12. They were going to Cedar Point the tenth and eleventh, next Wednesday and Thursday. Less than a week away. And so much could happen on a two-day trip with Todd, with no other girls as competition for his attention and a shared hotel room....Wednesday couldn't come fast enough.

***

They left at 5:30 Wednesday morning, with Brady driving Lorylyn, Hillary, and Dirk, and Landon driving Todd, Hilton, and Jill. Jill was secretly thrilled Bennett's family camping trip had kept him from coming. Brady had invited Landon, Dirk had invited Todd, and now they were like four couples...

Jill knew Hilton was excited too. The two of them sat in the back of Landon's Jeep, singing loudly and playing games with road signs the whole way. They'd stayed at Hilton's the night before and were hyper from Mountain Dew and lack of sleep, as well as the anticipation of the next two days.

Jill had told her parents Lindy was driving, and although they'd seemed a little worried about the car trip and warned Jill repeatedly to make sure Lindy was staying awake while driving, they hadn't really hesitated to let her go. She felt a tad bit guilty about the lie, but her excitement outweighed any negative feelings.

"X!" Hilton suddenly shouted. "On that billboard! Ha!" She flashed Jill a gleeful smile.

"Dammit! I might as well give up; there's no way we'll pass two Xs on this road." They were playing the alphabet game, where each of them had to go through the alphabet, finding each letter on a road sign, license plate, or billboard. The first one to get to Z won. Both girls had been looking for an X for what seemed like forever.

"Looks like I'm not getting any sleep," Todd groaned from the front seat.

"Good! Sit up anyway, you're like giving Jill no room for her legs!" Hilton said.

Jill looked at her and giggled, then thumped loudly on the back of Todd's seat, near where she thought his head would be. "Yeah, come on, Todd, you're being such a party pooper!"

"Hey, all I know is I've gotta walk around in the sun all day and be up till like, whatever time tonight, so I'm just tryin' to get some sleep now. You don't wanna deal with me when I'm grouchy, Jilly."

Jill giggled again, loving how he called her Jilly. He had just randomly started calling her that one day last year; no one else had ever called her that before him. "Oh, don't I?"

Suddenly Todd shoved the seat back even farther, so that it was on Jill's lap. He looked up at her with a grin.

"You brat!" Jill mussed his long sandy brown hair roughly. He looked so hot right now, in his tight white T-shirt and Hawaiian swimsuit. Electric waves flowed through her fingers as she touched his head.

"Oh, Jilly, you know you love me." Todd reached up and grabbed her head with both hands, pulling her face down toward his.

"Ahh!" Jill shrieked with a laugh. "Get off me! Stop it!" She pushed him away.

"Hey, turn it up!" Hilton cried suddenly. "Jill, listen!"

It was "Love Shack," one of Jill and Hilton's favorite songs to dance to at school dances.

Jill grinned at her, and they both began singing loudly. As Jill sang, the thought crossed her mind that a year ago, this situation would have been completely out of the question. She never would have been singing in a car with anyone other than her family, and she definitely wouldn't have felt so comfortable with three people who weren't Hillary, Lorylyn, and Sam.

Wow, Jill thought suddenly. These really are three people I didn't even know a year ago – all people I felt intimidated by when I first met them – and now I'm on my way to Cedar Point with them, having the time of my life.

She hadn't ever even hung out that much with Landon, but for some reason at his party last week, she'd come to suddenly feel much more at ease around him. It was probably the way he had come up to her and Hilton and joked around with both of them, she decided now. Instead of only talking to Hilton, like in the past.

And now the four of them were hanging out together, sharing an adventure that would always be just between the four of them...or the eight of them if she counted Hillary, Dirk, Lorylyn, and Brady. She, Jill Sherer, was making memories with Landon Kessler, one of the most popular guys in school. And he treated her like she was completely cool. And, even better, she was with her two new best friends, Hilton and Todd.

As she and Hilton continued to belt out "Love Shack," Jill thought how much fun this foursome was. For the first time, she realized, she actually felt like she was a _part_ of this group, not just someone they let tag along.

Maybe I'll start dating Todd, she thought. And Hilton will start dating Landon, and the whole summer will be perfect, just like this...

***

"Oh my gosh, this is so great," Lorylyn sighed dreamily as she leaned against the bathroom wall, waiting for Hillary and Jill. "I'm soooo glad we came with the guys." She flashed a mischievous grin.

It was almost two in the afternoon, and so far the day had been wonderful...sun, fairly short lines for the rollercoasters, lots of laughter and flirting.

"Me too!" Hillary agreed, running her hands under the tiny stream of water leaking out of the faucet. "What are you gonna do with Brady tonight?" She raised her eyebrows devilishly at Lorylyn.

"I told you, nothing. I'm not ready....You don't think he'll be mad, do you?"

"Probably not," Jill assured her hurriedly. "He said he wouldn't pressure you."

"I know. I'm just excited to be alone with him though. And not in his car or one of our houses."

Hillary gave Lorylyn a knowing grin. "I hear ya!"

"Are you gonna have sex with Dirk?" Jill asked, dying to know.

Hillary hesitated, but her still-in-place grin told her answer before she did. "Yeah, I think so. Oh my gosh, you guys...I'm so excited, but I'm really nervous too. I kinda wanna ask Hilton about it....Do you think she had sex with Reed?"

Jill snickered, then quickly covered her mouth. Hillary and Lorylyn looked at her. "Sorry, no, it's nothing, but I don't think she did."

"So do you think anything's gonna happen with you and Todd? Or Hilton and Landon?" Lorylyn asked as they started toward the exit.

"I don't know," Jill said with a coy smile that widened as Hillary and Lorylyn both squealed.

"You better make out with Todd, Jill!" Hillary said.

"Sssshhh!" Jill cried. They were almost outside, and what if Todd was right outside the door?!

"Get it, get it!" Hillary whispered, slapping Jill on the shoulder as they left the restroom.

Todd, Landon, Brady, Dirk, and Hilton were sitting on a bench several yards away. Hilton was giggling at something Landon had said and pushing him away.

"Oh, they're so hooking up," Lorylyn giggled, then skipped up to join the group. She slid her arms around Brady's waist and looked up at him happily, her black ponytail shining in the sunlight.

Brady leaned down and kissed her, and Jill smiled. They were so cute. But it made her jealous too; being around couples made her want to be with Todd even more than normal.

"Where next?" Landon asked.

"The Raptor!" Hilton said, jumping up and bounding a few steps ahead. "Come on!"

***

Jill and Hilton both bought their group picture from the Raptor. The seats were four across, and Hilton and Jill were in the middle, with Landon and Todd on the outsides. They had all made faces at the camera, and Todd's hair was flying about more wildly than Jill's or Hilton's, who both had theirs in ponytails. It was a blissful moment frozen in time, two best friends with the boys of their dreams, and Jill knew she and Hilton would both treasure the picture for a long time.

***

"I'm so excited! I love the light show!" Lorylyn said as she snuggled back against Brady's chest.

They sat on the cement, several yards back from the huge screen and surrounded by hundreds of people, waiting for the Summer Spectacular to begin. The show included lasers, music, and fireworks, and Jill, Hillary, and Lorylyn had always referred to it as the "light show."

"I can't wait to hear 'Proud to be an American,' " Jill said, smiling contentedly as she pulled her knees up to her chest.

"Aww, me too!" Lorylyn grinned at her. "That's my favorite part!"

Jill rocked back, then stretched out her legs and crossed them in front of her, leaning back on her hands. She couldn't get comfortable, and she desperately wanted to be leaning back on Todd like Lorylyn and Hillary were doing to Brady and Dirk.

"I wish it would start!" Hilton said impatiently. "My back's killing me from sitting here like this!"

"I'll give you a backrub," Landon offered.

"Oh, I love you, Landon." Hilton giggled and scooted over in front of him. Once she was in place, he started kneading her shoulders with his large hands, and Hilton smiled delightedly at Jill out of the corner of her eye.

Jill grinned back, but now she felt totally left out. She and Todd were the only ones not acting couple-y.

"Come on, Todd, give Jill one," Hilton said. "You're not being a very good friend." She winked at Jill with a wicked grin.

Jill glared, but she and Hilton both knew she was really saying, Thank you, Hilton!

"All right, why not? You want it, Jilly?"

"Um...I guess. But not like the way you're making it sound. Just the backrub." She sat between his legs, savoring the feeling of being close to him. Their bare legs were touching...

Todd began to massage her shoulders, and Jill practically shivered. His touch gave her tingly feelings all over her body. His fingers were long and wiry and strong, and he was a little rough, but it felt good. Jill wanted so badly to look at Hilton, because she knew they were both loving this, but she didn't want Todd or Landon to see.

Todd moved his hands from Jill's shoulders and slid them down her arms, rubbing circles with his thumbs and fingers. Suddenly his hot breath was on her ear and Jill gasped.

"Maybe we could do this again later, with some hot oil and without the clothes."

Shocked, Jill froze for a second. Then, realizing he was joking, she squirmed and tried to elbow him, but he had too good of a grip on her arms. "You're such a dork," she laughed, glad he couldn't see her face.

Todd laughed, sitting up straight behind her again and moving his hands back to her shoulders.

Jill let out a whoosh of breath and raised her eyebrows at the baseball cap of the guy a few feet in front of her. A tiny smiled curled the corners of her lips.

***

Later, at the hotel, the eight of them relaxed in the hot tub for a little while. Todd and Dirk both got out to dive in the pool, then climbed right back in the hot tub.

"Damn, that was cold!" Dirk yelled, shivering as he plunged back into the hot tub. Hillary wrapped her arms around him, and he held onto her tightly, their nearly naked bodies pressed closely together. They started whispering. Hillary had a cat-like smile on her face.

Jill watched them, half jealous, half annoyed. By the looks of it, they were definitely going to have sex. They couldn't keep their hands off each other.

Dirk pulled back from Hillary and stretched, an innocent grin spreading across his face. "All right, we're goin' to sleep. I mean...to bed."

Hillary giggled and pulled on his hand, and they climbed out of the hot tub and walked back toward the hotel with their arms around each other.

Jill, Hilton, and Lorylyn shared a knowing grin, their eyebrows raised eagerly.

"You guys have fun," Todd called loudly.

"Well," Brady said, pushing himself up out of the hot tub into a sitting position on the edge, "I'm ready to head in too. Do you guys mind if we hang out in your room for a while?" He shot a glance toward the hotel. "I'm guessing we should give them a little time." He grinned and pushed his always-present black curl away from his eye. It immediately fell back into place.

"That's cool, man," Landon said.

"Yeah, just don't mess around on our beds!" Hilton said.

"Oh, shut up!" Lorylyn giggled as she climbed out after Brady and grabbed his hand to pull him to his feet.

"My key's right there," Landon said, pointing to a lounge chair where his plastic hotel card lay. Brady grabbed it.

"Have a good time, guys," Jill said, winking at Lorylyn.

Lorylyn and Brady walked off hand in hand, teasing each other about something. Lorylyn squealed and jumped away from Brady, and he grabbed her and put her in a headlock. Her giggles wafted back across the still night air.

Jill sank down in the hot swirling water with a contented smile. This whole day had probably been one of the best days of her life. Everything was going so well, and she was having so much fun....If only she could figure out some way to hook up with Todd tonight. What could she do to make it happen? He'd been flirting with her all day, but that was just like always...she still couldn't tell if he was interested or not. Lorylyn was always telling her he had to be if he flirted with her that much, but Jill wasn't sure. That was kind of just his personality.

"Hey, let's go skinny-dipping," Hilton said suddenly, a gleam in her golden-brown eyes. She looked around to see who was interested.

"How about you girls go and we'll just watch?" Landon asked with a grin.

Hilton raised her eyebrows. "Jill?"

"All right, I'll go." She was feeling daring, and maybe it would turn Todd on. She grinned at Hilton, and they walked up the steps of the hot tub.

They approached the pool slowly, looking down at the still black water.

"It's gonna be freezing," Jill said.

"I know. Come on, let's just go." Hilton grabbed Jill's hand and jumped, pulling Jill with her.

Their hands slipped apart as they descended to the bottom of the pool. When Jill surfaced, feeling a shock from the abrupt temperature change, Hilton was pushing back the loose strands of hair that had escaped her ponytail.

"All right, boys!" Hilton called. She rustled around in the water, then all of a sudden she raised her right arm to show her pale pink bikini top in her hand. She grinned at the boys and tossed it onto the deck, then started to take off her bottoms.

Jill followed suit, tossing her black bikini onto the deck beside Hilton's.

"Sure you don't wanna join us?" Hilton called.

"I think you should come join us," Landon called back.

"Nope, you're the ones missing out; if you want it, come get it!"

Landon suddenly pushed himself out of the hot tub in one motion and lunged toward the pool.

Hilton and Jill shrieked, quickly treading backwards in the water.

Landon laughed. Then he turned and walked over to where Hilton's and Jill's swimsuits were lying. He picked up Hilton's top and dangled it from his fingers.

"What now? What now, huh?"

"Landon Kessler! You better put that down!"

"Oh, yeah? What if I don't?"

"Oh, you will."

"Damn, pretty confident. What makes you think that?"

" 'Cause if you keep it, all that'll happen is I'll get out with my arms across my chest and run inside, and you won't even see anything. But if you leave it there for me to put on when I get out, I might let you take it off again later."

Jill's mouth dropped open. Hilton was teasing, and yet she wasn't....Jill could suddenly tell by looking from Hilton to Landon that something was going on there.

How did Hilton pick up on that, and always know whether a guy wanted to hook up with her or not?! She'd never made a move with Landon before because she said he thought of her like a little sister, when Jill had been sure Hilton could get him if she tried. But it was like Hilton had been exactly right, and now all of a sudden something had changed between the two of them. The way Landon and Hilton had acted all day up until now hadn't seemed any different from normal to Jill...and yet the two of them both just seemed to _know_ it was different. How would Jill ever know with Todd?! How would she know when that line was being crossed from goofy flirting to the real thing?

Landon hesitated a moment, mirroring Hilton's teasing yet challenging gaze, then dropped her swimsuit top back on the ground.

"Hey, guys, I think I'm headed in," Todd said with a yawn as he pulled himself out of the hot tub. "I'm about ready to pass out."

"I guess I'll go too," Jill said quickly, swimming to the edge of the pool and pulling her swimsuit into the water and back onto her body. There was definitely something in the air here, and Hilton and Landon probably wanted to be alone. Plus Jill wanted to be wherever Todd was.

Jill hurried after Todd, pausing for a brief second to glance back at Landon and Hilton. It looked like Hilton was putting her swimsuit back on under the water. Jill hastily turned away and quickened her steps to keep up with Todd.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so cold now," she said, shivering and folding her arms tightly across her chest.

"Maybe that hot oil massage will warm you up," Todd said with a grin, and Jill laughed and shoved him.

When they entered their room, it was empty. Lorylyn and Brady must have been able to go back to their own room...Jill wondered what had happened with Hillary and Dirk. Right now, at this very moment, Hillary might not be a virgin anymore! It was crazy to think about.

Todd flopped onto one of the beds and turned on the TV.

"Todd! You're gonna get the bed all wet!"

"Ah, whatever, it's all good."

Jill stood awkwardly, her arms still crossed in front of her. She wanted more than anything to go sit down on the bed with Todd, but that would be way too obvious...if she sat on the same bed as him when there was another empty bed. Plus, she'd just complained about him getting the bed wet, and she was wet too, and freezing...

"Okay, um, I'm gonna take a shower, I guess," she said reluctantly, afraid Hilton and Landon would be back by the time she got out and she'd miss her chance with Todd.

" 'Kay, cool. I'll be here." Todd nodded in her direction and continued flipping through the channels.

Jill's heart sank as she quickly pulled boxers and a wife-beater out of her duffel bag and headed into the bathroom. She knew it was stupid and totally improbable, but she'd almost been hoping Todd would make some comment about them showering together, and then she'd say something sexy and seductive like Hilton had to Landon...and then...

Stop it, Jill! she told herself. Just hurry and shower and get back out there...maybe something will happen before Hilton and Landon get back!

***

When Lorylyn and Brady had gotten back to the hotel, they'd gone into Jill, Hilton, Landon, and Todd's room to give Hillary and Dirk some time alone.

"So, we're alone too..." Brady said suggestively as they dried themselves off with towels from the bathroom. His eyes grinned at Lorylyn from underneath his curly hair. Suddenly he tackled her, sending her crashing backwards onto the bed with him falling on top of her.

"Brady!" she squealed with a giggle. "Stop it! We can't, this is somebody else's bed!"

"Oh, it's just a little making out." He planted a playful, sloppy kiss on her, and she squealed again delightedly.

"Stop it!" she giggled, turning her head to the side. "Seriously, it's weird...what if they walk in?"

"All right, hold on." Brady pushed himself to his feet and walked toward the door.

Lorylyn sat up. "Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna check what's goin' on in our room. I'm ready to go back. Enough of this not making out stuff."

He grinned at her as he stepped into the hallway, and Lorylyn grinned at the carpet, happy and excited. This was _so_ much fun. She was so glad they'd come with the boys!

A moment later Brady was back. "They're in the shower," he said with a disbelieving grin, raising his eyebrows in laughter. "Come on, I'm sure we have some time."

Lorylyn followed him back to their own room, and he pulled her down on the bed beside him. As they kissed, Brady rubbed his foot up her leg, then threw his leg over hers, pulling their bodies closer together.

This was nothing new...but the difference tonight was they were both wearing swimsuits instead of being fully clothed.

When Brady's bare stomach and chest came into contact with Lorylyn's own bare skin, she inhaled sharply. Brady's hand moved up and down her back, and his fingers floated over the string that tied her bikini top. She felt little goosebumps and a sudden ache between her legs. She pressed her knees tightly together to make it go away, but it didn't really work.

Suddenly Brady rolled her onto her back, and then he was on top of her, kissing her forehead, her cheeks, then her neck....The ache was back, stronger than ever. This was the first time in almost six months Lorylyn had felt such a strong desire to take one of their make-out sessions farther. Both times, it had been the touch of his bare skin on hers that had gotten to her....She breathed faster as Brady's hand stroked her bare inner thigh and his lips came back to hers.

"I want you so bad, Lorylyn," he whispered huskily, his mouth against hers.

"Me too."

"You know, there's other stuff we can do...like besides having sex." He was kissing her neck again, then her shoulder...

"I know..." Lorylyn breathed, her eyes closed, concentrating on his touch.

His fingers reached behind her neck and pulled on her bikini string. As Lorylyn felt the bow come loose, she breathed out slowly, her eyes still closed, her hands running up Brady's smooth muscular back.

Brady's fingers came back around to the front of her neck and slowly trailed down, hesitating briefly between her breasts, then slowly poking underneath her loose swimsuit and tracing the curve along the bottom of her breast.

Lorylyn shuddered. She felt the triangle of her swimsuit top falling away where Brady touched her, then suddenly it was gone and his thumb ran across her nipple.

The ache between her legs suddenly began to throb, and she quickly pressed her legs together again. "Brady..." she whispered, and his lips found hers.

His hand trailed up her inner thigh again, this time all the way to where her swimsuit met her skin. Then he lifted the swimsuit and she felt his fingers move underneath it. She bolted upright.

"Brady, stop!"

Brady pulled back, looking apologetic. "Sorry. Sorry. Damn it! I just wasn't thinking. Sorry."

"It's okay." She saw Brady's eyes on her chest and realized her swimsuit top was still hanging down. She quickly grabbed the strings and retied it, embarrassed.

"Why'd you do that?" Brady asked.

"I don't know. I felt weird." She giggled awkwardly.

Brady grinned at her and reached out, pushing her back down and falling on top of her again. He planted a loud kiss on her lips. "You're so funny, Lor. Don't be embarrassed. I love looking at your body."

She smiled and blushed.

"I do." He kissed her again, more seriously this time.

A minute later he rolled off and sprawled on his back beside her. "Damn, Lorylyn, I can't make out with you like this when you don't have anything on. It's way too hard not to touch you. You need to put some clothes on!"

"Oh," Lorylyn said, partly relieved yet a little disappointed. She loved feeling his skin against hers...but he was right...it made it extremely hard to stop.

***

Outside, Hilton climbed out of the pool with her swimsuit back in place and led Landon back to the hot tub, strutting playfully as she walked in front of him.

"So, when can I take it off?" Landon asked with a grin.

Hilton grinned back, then lowered herself into the steaming water. This trip was turning out better than she'd imagined. She didn't know why, but ever since they'd gotten out of the Jeep this morning and entered the park, she'd felt something different between her and Landon. A spark that hadn't been there before. Their flirting throughout the day had been the same on the surface...the same types of comments and playful shoving or goofing around as usual. But there'd been more to it today, something underneath that they'd been waiting all day now to have the chance to explore in private. She'd felt it a little bit at his party last week too, but not as strongly as she did today.

Hilton faced Landon and slowly approached him as he sat with his back against the side of the hot tub. She twirled in the water, teasing him, making him wait. She reached up and pulled out her ponytail, then ducked her head back into the water to slick down her long honey-colored hair.

When she brought her head back up, she was face-to-face with Landon. He'd moved forward to meet her, and he grabbed her around the waist with a small grin, pulling her to him and kissing her hungrily.

Hilton kissed him back just as impatiently, running her hands through his wet blond hair and then cupping his face with both her hands. This was by far the best, most passionate kiss she'd ever had. It was thrilling and exhilarating and made her feel completely and totally alive.

"So can I take it off now?" Landon asked again, laughing a little.

Hilton opened her eyes and smiled into his, keeping her face just inches from his. "No."

"What?"

"No, you can't." She slowly backed away, grinning as if to say, Yep, that's right, I won. "You think I was gonna actually let you take my top off after you threatened to steal it from me? Please."

She was still grinning at him over her shoulder as she turned and made her way up the steps. She wiggled her butt as she stepped onto the cement. "Night, Landon."

She hurried away without looking back again, grinning to herself. Leave him wanting more...that was always the best thing to do. She could still taste his lips on hers, and she licked her swollen mouth gleefully as she pulled open the glass door leading into the hotel hallway. What a perfect night!

***

Jill took one of her fastest showers ever, careful not to wash all the makeup off her face; she wanted to look good for Todd. She wished she looked as gorgeous without makeup as Hilton did. Hilton was just so naturally pretty.

Oh well...whatever. Jill scrubbed at her hair, which felt thick and greasy after a long day in the sun, then hurried to wash her body. She had purposely brought along her favorite Bath and Body Works body gel and lotion, Sun-Ripened Raspberry. Hopefully Todd would notice.

After climbing out of the shower, she quickly toweled off, applied her lotion, and threw on her pajamas. I do look cute tonight, she thought in satisfaction, giving herself a giddy grin in the mirror. Please let this go well...please...

She quickly opened the door and went back into the room, planning to go up to Todd and playfully poke at him or punch him. But Todd was asleep.

Jill's mouth widened in surprise as the disappointment quickly sank in. No! This was the only night they had here...her only chance to make something happen with him! She hadn't anticipated him being asleep. Dammit! She shouldn't have taken a shower....She should've just gone and poked at him or punched him while she was still out here in her swimsuit....AGH! What had she been thinking?!

She felt like crying and shooting herself at the same time. What should she do now? How could she have been so stupid? She wished she could go back just seven or eight minutes...just a few minutes!

She sank down on the bed beside him and ruffled his hair. "Todd! Wake up!"

"Huh? What's up, Jilly?" He turned his head to look at her.

"Don't go to sleep! I'll be bored!"

"Well, there's nothing else to do."

Um...yeah there is! Jill thought. But he didn't seem to be thinking that way at all. Of course he wasn't...she'd just gotten caught up in the moment again and gotten her hopes up, when he didn't even think about her that way.

"We can watch TV or something," she said, just hoping to get him to stay awake.

"I'm tired. It's been a long day. Don't you just wanna go to sleep?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so."

Todd pushed himself to his knees and crawled across the bed, lying down on the far side with his head on the pillow. "Night, Jilly. Sweet dreams."

Yeah, whatever, Jill thought sourly, glaring at his closed eyes.

Suddenly she thought of something. "Um, where do you think I should sleep? 'Cause Hilton and Landon, you know...I think they were gonna hook up. So do you think they'll wanna sleep together?"

Todd opened his eyes and shrugged. "I dunno. You're welcome to sleep with me if you want." Then he grinned. "Anytime, Jilly."

Jill glared at him, but a small smile started to play at her lips. "Gee, thanks," she said sarcastically.

"Like I said, anytime." Todd patted the empty bed next to him, and Jill, acting reluctant, slowly crawled up beside him.

She wanted to lie facing him, because maybe something would happen, but she didn't want to be too obvious. So she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling.

Todd was silent. A moment later Jill snuck a look at him. His eyes were closed.

"Todd!" she hissed. No answer.

Jill sighed and rolled her eyes. So much for anything happening. Stupid Todd had to be tired. Great. She was always the only unlucky one with guys...good stuff always happened to all her friends, but never to her. To think Hillary probably wasn't a virgin anymore, and Jill couldn't even get the guy she liked to kiss her.

But really, it had been a great day. And now that Todd was sleeping, she could roll closer to him and then pretend to have done it in her sleep if he woke up....She smiled to herself and rolled on her side facing Todd. He looked so peaceful, sleeping like that. Like an innocent little boy. His hair was damp and splayed across his face, and he was shirtless. His breathing was slow and even, and a happy feeling flowed through Jill as she watched him sleep. Perfect...

### chapter 3) the todd high

When they got home from Cedar Point at 1:30 Friday morning, Jill crashed. It was a dreamless yet contented sleep, and she awoke feeling happy and excited with the endless possibilities of the summer stretched out in front of her.

Friday afternoon, Lorylyn's birthday, Hillary, Lorylyn, and Hilton came over to Jill's to swim and hear the rest of Hillary's story. All she'd been able to tell them in the bathroom at Cedar Point was that she and Dirk had showered together but hadn't had sex.

"Why not? What made you change your mind?" Lorylyn asked curiously.

"I don't know...I just got scared, I guess. I mean, I guess we kinda did it though." Hillary giggled. "I mean, what do you think actually counts as sex? 'Cause we started to...but then I told him to stop. I was just a little freaked out, I guess."

Jill couldn't even imagine. She'd never even had a good, really passionate kiss, and Hillary had almost had sex! She was jealous, yet at the same time glad she hadn't ever been as close as Hillary, because just the thought was terrifying. It was supposed to hurt, right? And she probably wouldn't even know what to do...

"So are you still planning on doing it?" Lorylyn asked.

"Yeah. I'm ready now. It'll happen soon. I don't know what made me freak out the other night, but I'm totally ready now. I can't wait!" She grinned.

Jill looked around at Lorylyn and Hilton to see their reactions. Lorylyn looked a little intimidated at the thought, just as Jill felt. Hilton was smiling at Hillary.

"Good, Hill, if you're ready, then I'm happy for you," Hilton said, sinking down in the water and soaking her hair. "But make sure you don't rush into it."

"Oh, I won't. Don't worry. It's fine. Oh my gosh, it's gonna be so great! I hope it's perfect. We're going out tomorrow night, and he said he would plan something special."

"How are you going out since he can't drive yet?" Lorylyn asked.

Hillary shrugged. "I don't know. He just said he'd figure out a way we could be alone and that he'd take care of it all." She grinned. "I can't wait!"

"Are you nervous at all?" Jill asked, thinking that she herself would be petrified and knowing Lorylyn felt the same way.

"No, not really." Hillary shook her head thoughtfully. "I mean, we were already so close. I mean, we kinda did it already. Just not...all the way, you know. So I'm not nervous anymore, I just really wanna do it."

"Well, you better tell us all about it!" Hilton giggled. "We want details!"

"Oh, don't worry, I will!" Hillary said. "Let's go swimming again on Sunday."

"Okay!" all the girls agreed.

Jill couldn't wait till Sunday now, to hear what sex was like. She felt like she had zero knowledge in that department, and now, if she ever got to the point where she was ready to do it, like probably in ten years on her wedding night, she'd have a little inside info to help her. It had always been this huge mystery for her, and now, finally, a clue would be revealed and a piece of the puzzle could be put into place.

***

On Saturday afternoon Hilton called Jill.

"Hey! Guess what?! Landon just called, and he wants me to come tubing with him at his lake cottage! He said his parents are up there for the weekend and his brother's taking the boat out. And he said to invite you too...and...Todd's gonna be there!"

"What?! Are you serious?" Jill couldn't believe it...this was almost too good to be true. Maybe their foursome from Cedar Point really would continue!

"Yeah! Can you get a ride to my house?"

"Sure, I'll be there in like, half an hour! This is so awesome! I'm so pumped!"

"I know! See you in a little bit, okay?"

"Okay, bye!" Jill giggled and grinned as she tossed her portable phone on the bed. "Yay!" she squealed to herself, then ran to tell her mom.

***

"Hold on, Jilly, hold on!" Hilton shouted with a wild laugh as they were whipped across the sparkling blue lake behind Landon's boat.

Jill held on for dear life, her legs bouncing and repeatedly smacking against the sturdy black tube. She closed her eyes against the stinging mist and prayed she wouldn't fall off right away. It was her first time tubing, and she didn't want to look stupid.

All of a sudden she felt her legs flying up, and her whole body flipped. The next thing she knew, she felt the slap of water, then she was submerged, her life jacket making her feel heavy and bloated.

She quickly surfaced and looked for the boat. It was several yards ahead, whirling in a circle to come back for her. As it made its turn, Hilton went flying into the air and then disappeared into the lake with a huge splash.

Jill giggled. That had been such a rush! She'd been a little scared at first, but she loved it. She couldn't wait to get back on and try again. This time she was sure she'd do better.

The boat circled up to Hilton and she climbed back onboard, then it made its way over to Jill.

Todd leaned over and offered her a hand as she climbed up on deck. "Nice, Jilly, I think you lasted a whole five seconds," he teased.

"Shut up! It was my first time!" she laughed, lunging at him and threatening to get him wet.

"Hey, that doesn't matter," he said. "I'm going in anyway! Come on, Kessler!"

Todd and Landon quickly strapped on life jackets and dove over the side of the boat.

"That was so fun!" Hilton said. She had taken off her life jacket and was sitting on the cushioned bench that ran along the side of the boat, her arms spread across the thin railing to soak up the sun.

Jill followed suit and took off her life jacket, joining Hilton on the bench. "I know! This is awesome! I'm so glad they called you."

Hilton grinned and lowered her voice so Corey, Landon's brother, couldn't hear. "Yeah, I knew he'd want more after Cedar Point." She winked at Jill.

Jill grinned back. "I'm so jealous! I wish that was me and Todd."

"Oh, it will be."

"Do you think?"

"I bet by the end of the summer something'll happen between you guys. You should make it your goal."

"Oh, trust me, it already is."

Hilton grinned, then turned to look at the boys. They were situated on the tubes, and Landon's brother sped off.

"Don't they look good?" Hilton asked.

"Yeah, they do." Both boys were tan with light-colored hair and lean, muscular bodies. Water sparkled in their hair as the sun shone down on them. Landon was bigger and more muscular than Todd, obviously older, but they still made a striking pair, flying through the water together. Jill thought how good she and Hilton would look with both of them, and she smiled happily.

***

Later, after everybody had taken a few more turns tubing and felt exhausted, Landon wakeboarded. Jill had never seen anybody wakeboard before, and she was amazed. Landon rose out of the water like some kind of Greek god, blond and strong and tan. And he didn't just ride behind the boat; he moved back and forth from side to side, and he could do jumps too. He was showy and didn't even look like he was trying very hard. Jill got the impression this was a walk in the park and he could really do way harder stuff. He finally fell when he tried a flip.

"Fuck you!" he yelled to Corey when he surfaced, but he was laughing. "Fuckin' speeding up the boat when I land." He boosted himself onto the back of the boat and sat unfastening his board, then he jumped into the main part of the boat and acted like he was going to punch Corey. Corey laughed and moved the boat a little, knocking Landon off balance.

"Who else wants to try?" Corey asked the rest of them.

Jill hoped Todd would because she thought he'd look so hot, plus it'd be funny and cute if he was really bad. But nobody else felt up to it; they were all tired and kind of sore from tubing.

So Landon took over at the wheel, and Corey went. He was even better than Landon, or at least he did more tricks than Landon had. He seemed a lot more serious and like he was trying harder. Landon had just seemed like he was goofing off.

"Hilton, come pick a new CD," Landon called over his shoulder as he whipped the boat across the lake, cutting the water and pulling Corey behind.

Hilton bounced up from the bench and went over to Landon. He motioned to where his CD case lay, and Hilton opened it and flipped through it. She selected one and held it out to him.

"Here, put it in," Landon said, glancing back at Corey and then patting his knee.

Hilton sat on Landon's knee and slid the CD into the player. She flashed a giddy grin over her shoulder at Jill, and Jill grinned back.

Hilton had picked Bon Jovi, and Jill grinned again as "Livin' on a Prayer" blasted into the air. Landon turned the volume up even louder and pulled Hilton back down when she started to stand up. He turned around to check Corey again, then started hitting Hilton's leg in time with the beat and singing some of the lines into her ear loudly, still turning back every few seconds to check Corey.

Jill grinned again, happy for Hilton, and watched them wistfully, wishing more than anything that was her and Todd.

***

When they came in after two hours on the lake, Landon's parents had hamburgers and hotdogs cooking and invited everyone to stay.

"What are you girls up to tonight?" Landon asked as he chomped down on his burger. The four of them were sitting at the picnic table in the grass, while Landon's parents and Corey sat at the table on the patio.

"I don't know." Hilton looked at Jill. "You can spend the night if you want."

"Okay!" Jill agreed.

"What are you doing?" Hilton asked the boys.

"I don't know," Landon said.

"I think I'm going over to Bennett's," Todd said.

Jill was disappointed. She'd been hoping the four of them could keep hanging out.

"I s'pose you guys could come if you want."

Jill's eyes met Hilton's.

"Yeah, we'll come," Hilton said, and she and Jill shared a small smile.

"All right. Well, let me go change and then we can head over." Landon stood up to throw his plate away.

"Yeah, man, I gotta stop at my house first," Todd said.

"Okay. I'll drive, and we can run by there."

***

"You guys can come in if you want. It'll only take me a minute," Todd said when they pulled up to his house in Landon's Jeep.

Jill was excited. She'd never been to Todd's house, never even known where it was. It turned out to be on a quiet street in the middle of Caldwell, halfway across town from Hilton's. Jill, having grown up in Brinkley, the larger of the two small towns feeding into Brinkley-Caldwell High School, still wasn't that familiar with Caldwell. The only people's houses she ever came to here were Hilton's and Bennett's; to get to Landon's on Lake Caldwell, they always met at Cassidy's in a neighborhood on the very outside of town and took the highway around town to the lake access road.

Hilton, Jill, and Landon followed Todd into his house through the front door.

"You guys can wait in there," he said, gesturing vaguely to the room on the right. They entered a small, cozy, over-cluttered room with two mismatching couches and a large TV in one corner. It was brightly lit, and on the wall were paintings of country landscapes. The whole room was also filled with photos of Todd from preschool to the present. Some were school or sports photos framed on the walls, and others were family pictures in frames placed haphazardly around the room on an end table or the TV stand. Jill loved it. The room was just so...homey. It felt like it had seen lots of years of happiness and love.

Then she remembered with a jolt that Todd's parents were still in marriage counseling. They'd started back in December, and she hadn't heard him talk about it much since last winter, but she'd asked shortly before school got out, and she knew they were still going. It was weird looking at this room and imagining that the family living here wasn't as happy as it appeared. She knew Landon and Hilton didn't know about the counseling; Todd had told her he hadn't mentioned it to anyone else, and she'd kept her promise not to tell anyone, with the exception of her mom.

As the three of them sat looking around the room, a woman entered. She was tall and blonde, and she smiled welcomingly. "Hi, I'm Lynn, Todd's mom. Oh, hi, Landon."

"Hey, Mrs. B."

Mrs. Blake looked to Hilton and Jill and held out her hand.

Hilton shook it with a smile. "Hi, I'm Hilton."

"I'm Jill."

"Nice to meet you girls. I've seen you before; you were a cheerleader in junior high, right?" she asked Hilton. "I've heard about both of you; I know Todd hangs out with you. I'm glad he finally brought you by! Do you want anything to drink?"

"I'll have a Mountain Dew," Landon said. "If you have any."

"Sure. Hilton? Jill?"

"Sure, a Mountain Dew would be great," Hilton said.

"Yeah, me too," Jill agreed. "Thanks." She smiled. Mrs. Blake seemed so nice. Jill felt sorry that she was going through so much trouble with her marriage. She felt sorry for Todd too. He had been so emotional both times he'd talked to her at length about his parents, and Jill had an overwhelming urge to be able to hug him right now.

Just then he walked into the room. He'd changed into baggy jean shorts and a Billabong T-shirt, and he'd combed through his long hair. It was still a little wet but hung more neatly, angling across his face and past his ears. The desire to hug him grew stronger.

"Hey, I'm ready."

"Your mom's getting us something to drink," Landon said.

"Oh, all right." Todd plopped into a recliner in another corner and popped out the bottom.

"Nice pics, Todd," Hilton said with a grin, looking around the room.

Todd grinned back. "Shut up. My mom's crazy."

"Aww, I think they're so cute. Look at little Todd," Jill teased, pointing to what must've been Todd's preschool picture. He stared at the camera with a worried look in his dark brown eyes, and one small hand gripped the tiny sweater he wore. His hair was much shorter, barely coming down onto his forehead, but it was the same sandy shade Jill loved.

"Shut up," Todd laughed again, just as his mom came back with the Mountain Dews.

"We were just admiring your handsome son," Landon grinned, taking his and popping it open.

"Oh, yeah, Todd _loves_ when people come over for the first time and see those. Did you see this one?" Mrs. Blake moved to the table beside Jill and picked up a frame.

Jill leaned forward eagerly. It was of Todd, probably about six years old, squatting on the very couch she was sitting on now. His fists were pressed to his cheeks in an exuberant grin, and he looked enormously pleased with himself. In front of him, perched in a row on the edge of the couch, were six Care Bears.

"That's Todd giving his Care Bears a swimming lesson. The edge of the couch is the edge of the pool, see."

"Aaahhhh!" Jill shrieked delightedly, covering her mouth with her hands and sinking back into the couch. She grinned wickedly at Todd.

"Mom! Stop!"

"Wow, dude, you had Care Bears? That's manly," Landon joked.

"All right, thanks, Mom...this has been great, but I think it's time to go." Todd rolled out of the chair with an embarrassed smile and started out of the room.

"See ya, Mrs. B," Landon called as he followed Todd.

"Bye, Mrs. Blake. Thanks for the Mountain Dew," Hilton said with a friendly smile.

"Yeah, it was nice to meet you," Jill said, flashing a warm smile as well. She really wanted Todd's mom to like her.

"Nice to meet you girls too. Come back soon!"

"We will!" Hilton and Jill waved as they followed Todd and Landon out the front door.

"Aww, your mom's so nice," Jill said as they walked down the driveway.

"Yeah, those pictures were freakin' hilarious," Hilton added. She laughed, and Jill joined in. They looked at each other and lost it completely.

"Yeah, great, laugh it up. That's just fine. Thanks, Jilly. Thanks, Hilton. I see how it is." Todd hoisted himself into the passenger seat.

"Oh, whatever, Todd, you know we're just teasing," Jill said through her laughter.

"Yeah, whatever. I'm so feelin' the love."

"Hey, Hillary might be feelin' the love right about now!" Hilton whispered to Jill between gasps of laughter.

Jill's eyes widened and she laughed even harder, wiping at her eyes as she climbed into the Jeep behind Hilton. She hadn't even thought about Hillary all day...she'd been so caught up in her own adventure. She wondered if it had happened yet. Probably not...it was only 8:00. She wondered what Dirk had worked out for the two of them.

"Hey, thanks for giving us a chance to get in," Hilton said to Todd. "We both had to get in Landon's side!"

"Yeah, that's what you get for makin' fun of my sexy pictures."

"Sexy?!" Jill sputtered. "Yeah, you playing with Care Bears, that's my idea of sexy!"

"It should be. I bet you've never seen a sexier guy than me, have you, Jilly?"

"Nope, never," Jill said, still wiping at her eyes. "I want you so bad."

***

At Bennett's they made a campfire and cooked s'mores. Jill didn't mind being around Bennett at all anymore; she didn't even feel like they'd ever gone out. Not like they'd had a real relationship anyway, but it was good to feel for the first time like she could act natural around him and make jokes with him like they were old friends. She wasn't sure what had brought about the change; in the six months since they'd broken up, she'd always felt kind of awkward around him and tried to avoid him. She decided it must just be the mood of the last few days...this relaxed, happy, carefree mood of romance and flirting, of the Todd high

she was still buzzing on, and of summer. It seemed nothing could be bad enough to shake that mood.

### chapter 4) the first piece is always the hardest

"Well?" Lorylyn asked eagerly.

It was Sunday afternoon, and Jill, Hilton, and Lorylyn were gathered in the shallow end of Jill's pool, ready to hear Hillary's story.

Hillary was all smiles. "We did it!"

"Aaahhh!" the other three girls screamed.

"Yeah, and oh my gosh, it was _soooo_ romantic." Hillary placed her hand over her heart.

"So what'd he do? How'd he work it out for the two of you to be alone?" Jill prodded.

"Well, he came over to my house last night and said he wanted to have a picnic. So we walked to DBU and had a picnic on campus, like right by the bell tower on that path through the trees, you know?"

Dale Brinkley University was a small branch of Dale University, the largest university in the state. There were eight other campuses besides the main one, which was two hours away and enrolled 50,000 undergrads. DBU only had about 6000 students. Lots of BCHS kids ended up going there, as well as kids from surrounding towns. The campus was located adjacent to Brinkley's park and about two blocks from Hillary's house. When Jill and Hillary were younger, they used to love going there in the summer and playing in the fountain and watching the college kids, even though campus was pretty dead at that time of year.

"So anyway," Hillary continued, "we had the picnic at like eight, and the blanket was spread out right under a tree. And so then when it got dark...you know." She grinned. "It was so awesome, you guys."

"That sounds romantic," Hilton said, but Jill thought her tone said otherwise.

"So, how was it?!" Lorylyn asked. "Did it hurt?"

Hillary shrugged. "Yeah, kind of. But, I mean, we'd kinda started to do it before. But yeah, it still hurt some. But it was okay. It wasn't as bad as what you think it's gonna be. Like, it seemed like it had just started, and then it was over already."

Lorylyn looked confused. "Really? How come?"

Jill had been wondering the same thing but hadn't wanted to ask.

"Well, you know, it's not that easy for a guy to make it last a long time. Especially since it was his first time too. But it's okay, I didn't care. I'm actually kinda glad it wasn't that long, 'cause now I got that part over with, you know? So I'm sure the next time will be better."

Jill, still confused, looked from Lorylyn to Hilton. Lorylyn still seemed unsure too, but Hilton nodded at Hillary.

"Yeah, I'm sure it will," she said. She sounded like she knew exactly what she was talking about. She and Hillary must know a lot because they had done a lot more with guys. It was like some kind of insider secret. Jill wondered when she would know. She had hoped talking to Hillary would help fill in a piece of the puzzle, but it had really just made her more confused than ever. I guess the first piece is always the hardest to find a place for, she thought. Once you get a couple in place, the others are easier.

"So are you glad you did it?" Hilton asked.

Hillary grinned again. "Oh, yeah."

***

"They freakin' did it in the woods?" Hilton said to Jill later, sticking her tongue out in disgust. "That's so _not_ romantic. Do you know how many mosquitoes are in those woods? And they could've picked a more private place! I definitely do not want my first time to be somewhere where people might walk by. Yuck! That would so ruin the moment." She shuddered. "I mean, it'd be kinda exciting to fool around in a public place, you know, and have the possibility of being caught? But your first time having sex, ever? No thanks!"

Jill giggled. "Yeah, that's kinda weird. I can't believe Hill's not a virgin anymore though. I can't believe she's the first of all of us. I never thought she would be."

"Who did you think it would be?"

Jill pondered the question for a moment. "I don't know, I guess. I hadn't actually thought about it, 'cause I didn't think it was so close in the near future. I mean, a year ago, I would've said that none of us – me, Hill, Sam, or Lorylyn – would have sex in high school at all. I've never planned on having sex till I was married. And after a couple months of school, I would've said Sam, I guess. Just 'cause she made out with Mike at one of Landon's first parties we went to, you know, and she sorta ditched the rest of us and, like, tried to move ahead. So I guess I would've picked her. I guess it could've actually been her, for all I know."

"Yeah, I just hope Hillary doesn't regret it later. We're still so young...I mean, I knew I wasn't ready with Reed. But I guess that's partly 'cause I wasn't attracted to him anymore."

Hilton and Jill both giggled.

"Yeah," Jill said. "Before Cedar Point when we asked her if she was gonna sleep with him, she was all like, 'I _am_ gonna be fifteen,' and I was like, Are you freaking kidding me?! I can't even imagine having sex this year."

"Yeah...and I know that's screwed up some people's relationships too, like Brooke and Brady. I mean, I know they weren't dating, but he got what he wanted and moved on. In a way I feel a little sorry for Brooke. I mean, she was definitely a complete bitch to Lorylyn, but she did get played. If I was her I would've been pissed at Brady too. She's just stupid to still want him after that. I just hope Dirk didn't just use Hillary to get the first time over with and now, like, move on to somebody else."

Jill frowned. "I guess that's true, about Brooke. I never thought of it that way. But yeah, 'cause weren't her and Brady like, pretty good friends before they had sex? And that totally ruined it...they don't really even talk anymore." Jill felt a sudden shudder. What if that had been her and Todd? "You're right, I'd be pissed if I was her too." For the first time, Jill could truly understand a little bit of what Brooke must have been feeling when Brady asked Lorylyn to the Homecoming dance and then started dating her. It still didn't excuse what Brooke had done to Lorylyn at Landon's New Year's party, when she announced in front of all the girls there that she'd had sex with Brady, but Jill couldn't say for sure that she herself wouldn't have been desperate enough to do the same thing if it had been her and Todd in Brooke's and Brady's places. "But you don't really think Dirk was just using Hill, do you?"

"No, I don't think that was what he _meant_ to do. But waiting for sex was a reason to stay with her, and now that he's gotten that, if he meets someone else I wouldn't be that surprised if he dumped her. I'm not saying he doesn't like her a lot right now, 'cause I think he does. Or at least he thinks he does. But I don't know, I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I could be totally wrong. I hope I am."

"I hope so too. Hill would be so upset. But you could be right. It's just all so confusing! I don't think I ever want another boyfriend!"

"Oh, whatever!" Hilton laughed. "I know one boy you'd go out with in a second if he asked you. Don't even try to tell me you wouldn't!" She gave Jill a playful glare, and they both giggled again.

### chapter 5) california

"Mom, what am I gonna do for the next two weeks?" Jill moaned a week later. "It's gonna suck so bad without Hilton here! 'Cause I probably won't see Landon, and so then I won't see Todd! 'Cause Landon won't call just me when Hilton's not here." Hilton's family had just left for their annual summer vacation; this year they were going to the Bahamas.

"You still have Hillary and Lorylyn. And you have gymnastics lessons at Twisters." Twisters was a gym in Logan, a larger city about forty-five minutes away from Brinkley, and Jill had competed on a club team there all throughout junior high. Now that her first high school season was over, she'd decided to start taking private lessons.

"Yeah, but they both have boyfriends! And gymnastics is like, only twice a week, and I wanna be able to hang out with Todd!"

"Well, why don't you invite him over? You call him one of your best friends, right? So you shouldn't need Landon to orchestrate your hang-out time. Call him over to go swimming."

"That's true," Jill said. She did consider Todd one of her best friends, so why was she so scared to call him? She knew exactly why though. The last time she'd called and asked him to hang out one-on-one, he'd misunderstood and thought she wanted it to be a group outing, and she'd been completely humiliated. Plus, she was always afraid if she asked him to hang out with just her, he'd get the wrong idea and think she wanted it to be a date. But inviting him over to swim wouldn't seem like a date...and she could even mention how she was bored with Hilton gone...it was the perfect excuse.

"Okay," she told her mom. "I'll probably call him tomorrow."

***

Hilton always enjoyed her family's summer vacations. They were so relaxing, and she and her mom and aunt got in lots of good shopping time. They went someplace different every year, and she was excited to go back to the Bahamas, where she'd only been once, when she was six. But as she waited to board the plane in Chicago, where they'd had a layover after flying out of Logan, she almost wished she weren't going. She felt like she was leaving all the fun behind, and she'd been looking forward to spending more time with Landon. He'd told her he was probably having a party next Saturday too, for his and Brady's birthdays, so it sucked she'd have to miss that. He had seemed bummed when she told him she'd be gone though, so that was good. She smiled a little as she moved her head in time with the music she was listening to on her portable CD player. Leave him wanting more...he hadn't gotten any yet, and she was pretty confident he'd keep waiting. But she was going to miss him and Jill.

She hoped Jill and Todd would hang out while she was gone. It'd be the perfect opportunity for them to hang out alone. It'd suck not being able to talk to Jill the whole time to find out what was going on at home.

"Attention, passengers. Delta Flight 118 to Nassau will continue boarding Medallion members and business class, as well as any passengers with young children or children traveling alone, or any other passengers needing assistance. At this time we would also like to invite our passengers seated in zones one through three to board through Gate G7. Zones one through three."

Hilton's mom tapped her arm to make sure she'd heard, and Hilton gathered her carry-on bag and followed her parents and aunt and uncle to the boarding line. At least she'd be on the beach in a few hours.

***

"Hey...Todd?" Jill said when he answered the phone Monday afternoon.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, it's Jill."

"Oh, hey, Jill."

"Hey, what's up? Um, what are you up to right now?"

"Um...nothin' really. Why?"

"I was just gonna see if you wanted to come over and swim or something. Hilton left for vacation yesterday, so I'm like, completely bored."

"Yeah, sure, that'd be cool."

Jill's stomach had been turning over nervously, and now it settled in surprise. She hadn't expected it to be so easy. "Really? Okay, then...um, come over whenever you want, I guess. Or do you need a ride?"

"No, my mom can bring me when she goes back to work. She's home on her lunch break."

"All right, cool. See you soon, then."

"See ya." He hung up.

Jill stared at the phone in her hand for a minute, then dropped it in her chair and ran out of her room. "Mom, he's coming! He's coming!"

***

"So...what have you been up to?" Jill asked awkwardly as she leaned against the shallow end of the pool with her arms outstretched on the cement deck. Now that he was here, she wasn't really sure what to talk about, and she didn't want him to get bored.

"Oh, not much. I've been going to open gym for basketball, and we have summer league baseball. You should come to a game."

"Oh, yeah, that'd be fun! I will. Maybe Hillary and Lorylyn will wanna come see Dirk and Brady."

"Yeah, we've been doing pretty good. I think our team's gonna be pretty strong next season, 'cause we really only lost like three seniors who were any good, and we have a lot of juniors."

"Do you think you'll play varsity next year?" Todd was a pitcher, and he had only played on the freshman team this year. He had been their best pitcher though, and he'd said the coaches had told him he wasn't being moved up to JV only because they needed someone really good on the freshman team and he'd get more innings than he would on JV.

"I don't know. I have a chance, probably, 'cause we did lose two pitchers. But we'll see. I'm gonna try to lift a lot more, you know, and get in better shape. That's why I'm going to basketball open gym, just to stay in shape and lift. 'Cause I doubt I'll play basketball this year."

"Oh, really? Why not?"

Todd shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't think I'll really ever be a starter, you know, and I'd rather focus on baseball. And I won't be able to go pitch in the winter if I'm tied up with basketball."

"Oh, yeah. Well that's cool."

The conversation trailed off into silence. Come on, Jill, think of something to say! she begged herself.

Suddenly her mom swung open the door to the sunroom and stepped out onto the patio. "Hey, Jill, can you come here for a minute?"

"Sure," Jill said, quickly pushing herself up out of the pool. As she walked toward the house, she hoped Todd was looking at her in her swimsuit. She knew she had an all right body, even though she wished she were a little taller than 5'4. Last year she'd hated being so skinny because she thought it made her look like a boy, but now she kind of liked it. She still wished her chest were a little bigger though.

She stepped into the sunroom. Her mom had gone into the kitchen, and Jill followed. As soon as she walked into the room, she could tell something was wrong. Her dad should be at work; he hadn't been home when Todd arrived, but he was sitting at the kitchen table, and Aaron and Winnie, Jill's younger brother and sister, were there too. Winnie had her head buried in their mom's shirt.

"What is it?" Jill asked, a feeling of dread gripping her. She was scared to hear the answer. Had something happened to one of her grandparents? Had Todd's parents called with bad news? Oh my gosh...what if Hilton's plane had crashed?!

"It's Aunt Marcy," her mom finally said. "Grandma's sister? She died today, Jill."

Jill was silent as the news sank in. It was a flood of feelings, the first being relief that it wasn't her grandparents or Hilton, the second being guilt at feeling that way, and the third being the scary shock that always came when she heard someone she knew had died. Aunt Marcy? It must've been a horrible accident...

"She had Alzheimer's," her mom continued. "She died in a nursing home today. It was peaceful, they said. She probably wasn't in any pain. None of us even knew...she never told us. Grandma didn't even know she was in a nursing home."

Jill stared, numb. Aunt Marcy had Alzheimer's? How could they not have known? Why wouldn't she have told them? Marcy was someone Jill hadn't seen for years, but when she was a little girl, she'd loved Marcy, who was seven years younger than her grandma. Marcy had lived in California since way before Jill was born, but every Thanksgiving and every summer she came to Schaumburg, Illinois, where Jill's grandparents lived, to visit. Jill's family always went to Schaumburg at the same time as Marcy, and Marcy had constantly spoiled Jill as a little girl, playing with her, reading to her, taking her shopping and buying her whatever she wanted.

When Jill was nine, her grandma and Marcy had had a huge falling out of some sort that Jill hadn't ever known the reason for, and Marcy had stopped coming to visit. For the first year or so, Jill had begged to go to California to visit her, but her mom seemed angry with Marcy too and wouldn't even consider going. Then Jill had sort of forgotten about it. But now it was such a shock...Marcy had always seemed so healthy and young...and it had only been six years...did Alzheimer's really progress that fast?

"The funeral's on Friday, so we're going to head up to Schaumburg tonight, and Grandma and Grandpa are booking a flight out to LA for tomorrow morning, okay?"

"Okay..." Suddenly Jill sank into a chair. "I can't believe she's dead!" She burst into sobs and buried her head in her arms. "It's so not fair! I loved her so much! And I haven't even talked to her in so long...I feel so bad..." Her voice was muffled.

"Ssshhh, honey, it's okay." Her mom had stood up and moved over to her and was stroking her hair now. "We all feel bad. We wish she would've told us. Or that we would've contacted her."

"Why did Grandma get so mad at her? Why did you guys stop talking to her?" Jill's tone was bitter and accusatory now.

"Ssshhh...that's up to Grandma to tell you if she wants. It was really more between them. You can ask her if you want."

Just then Jill heard the door open behind her.

"Oh...I'm sorry..." Todd said.

"No, Todd, it's okay. Come in. Hi, I'm Maria, Jill's mom."

"Hi..." Todd said uncomfortably, glancing quickly at Jill, who was still sobbing, then around the room at the rest of the family.

"Hi, Todd, I'm Russ." Jill's dad stuck out his hand.

Todd reached across the table and shook it. Jill had managed to sit up now. She wiped at her puffy eyes.

"Sorry you had to be here for this," Jill's dad said kindly. "My aunt just passed away today. My mom's sister."

"Oh," Todd said, surprised. "I'm sorry." He looked back at Jill again. She didn't meet his eyes. "I should probably go."

"No, Todd! Don't," Jill said quickly, standing up and grabbing his arm. "Just stay and talk to me for a minute."

"Um...all right." Todd looked unsure. He glanced at her parents for approval.

"Why don't you guys go back outside for a while?" Jill's mom said. "We have a lot to take care of in here."

Jill led Todd outside and sat on the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water. Todd sat beside her hesitantly.

"Sorry, Todd. You can go if you want. I just had to get out of there. Ugh, it's so weird. I haven't even seen her for like six years. She lives in California. My Aunt Marcy. She and my grandma had some kind of huge fight. But I used to love her so much when I was little..." She burst into tears again. "And...I just feel like I...forgot about her. And she had Alzheimer's. And we didn't even know. She didn't tell us!"

Todd put his arm around her shoulders and drew her close. It felt good, like he was protecting her.

"I know what it's like," he said softly. "I mean, to think everything's okay, and then to find out something's been wrong all along, and no one told you."

Jill realized he was talking about his parents. She looked up at him. He was staring off into space.

"Oh, Todd, I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about that..."

"It's okay." He pulled her closer, and for just a second, Jill thought he was about to cry too. "I'm sorry too, Jilly."

Jill wiped at her eyes. She heard the door swing open behind her and turned to look. Todd dropped his arm from her shoulders. It was her mom.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Jill, Dad and I were wondering if you might like to bring a friend. Because I know this might be hard for you, plus Dad and I will be busy helping with funeral arrangements, and you won't really know anyone...we just thought it might help to have a friend there. We'd pay for the ticket, of course."

"Hilton's on vacation," Jill wailed, feeling helpless. It would've been great to have Hilton along, and it made her feel even worse now that she couldn't ask her.

"Well, what about Hillary or Lorylyn? Hillary knows Aunt Marcy."

"I could ask her, I guess..."

"I'll go," Todd said suddenly. "I mean, if that's okay. Sorry, I didn't mean to just butt in."

Jill's head whipped around, and she stared at Todd in surprise. Then she looked at her mom, who appeared startled as well.

"I mean, it's just not that great at my house right now...I wouldn't mind getting away," Todd finished, then looked down sheepishly.

Jill broke her shocked silence. "Of course I want you to go! Mom?" She turned back to her mom and pleaded with her eyes.

"Okay. That's fine. Would you like me to call your mom, Todd?"

"Nah, I can do it. I might need a ride home to like, get my stuff though. My mom's at work."

"Okay...well, thank you so much for offering, Todd. It means a lot to us that you care that much about Jill." Jill's mom smiled at him, then turned to go back inside.

Jill and Todd sat in silence.

"Sorry, if you didn't want me to go," Todd said finally.

Jill looked up. "No, of course I want you to go! I was just surprised you wanted to."

"Well, like I said, it's not so great around my house right now; my parents still ignore each other and shit. I'd love to get away. And you've been there for me through this whole thing, so..."

"I never did anything like this!" Jill said.

"Well, nothing like this ever came up. But you did a lot just by listening to me, Jill." He met her eyes, and his look broke Jill's heart. But it also pulled the two of them closer together, and she knew he felt it too.

"Thank you, Todd. Thank you so much. It means a lot."

"I know." He reached out and hugged her. "I know."

***

"We'll all be busy most of the day with funeral arrangements and going through Aunt Marcy's things, so I thought maybe you two would like to just enjoy the pool. You'll love her house, Jill, it's beautiful," Mrs. Sherer said as she wound her way through the throng of traffic just outside of LAX, the LA airport.

Because of booking the tickets at the last minute, they hadn't all been able to get on one flight, so Jill and Todd had flown out separately, four hours later than her parents and Winnie and Aaron. Her grandparents had flown out about half an hour before the rest of her family. It had been both Jill's and Todd's first time flying, and Jill felt somewhat nervous, but experiencing it with Todd made her feel brave, in a sort of careless way. She would be willing to try anything if she could do it with him.

Todd didn't seem to think flying was any big deal; he'd slept most of the way. Jill hadn't been able to sleep. There were all kinds of weird noises during the flight that had freaked her out a little, but she'd looked around and seen that no one else appeared alarmed, so she'd tried to relax. By the end, she'd decided she loved flying. The takeoff had been thrilling – the buildup of speed and then the sudden strange pressed-into-your-seat feeling of no longer being on the ground. The landing was exhilarating too – the brakes slamming and the plane skidding to a halt so quickly. It'd scared her at first because she didn't know it was supposed to be like that, and she thought the pilot had lost control or something had gone wrong. She'd grabbed Todd's arm without thinking, then smiled embarrassedly and laughed at herself when she'd once again glanced around and seen that no one else appeared alarmed. He'd laughed too, and ruffled her hair.

Her mom had met them in the baggage claim area and helped them get their bags off the luggage carousel, then led them out to short-term parking and a sleek white SUV that she said had been Aunt Marcy's, and now they were speeding around curves in a steady stream of city traffic.

Jill looked out the window in amazement, trying to take in everything around her. As soon as they'd stepped out of the airport into the fresh balmy air, she'd been intoxicated with southern California. It was beautiful and tropical and exciting. Everything moved fast...the people, the traffic...and she felt like she'd been transported into another world. Life in the fast lane. She couldn't wait to see Aunt Marcy's house, which her mom said was in Bel Air, close to the UCLA campus and in an upscale neighborhood.

The whole plane ride, Jill had felt bummed and still confused over all the emotions surrounding Aunt Marcy's death, yet excited to have Todd sleeping next to her. She still couldn't believe he'd wanted to come, and she'd been so proud to introduce him to her grandparents last night. Even though they'd been too distracted to really pay much attention to him, she thought they must be impressed he'd wanted to come with her, and she hoped they thought he was sort of her boyfriend. And she felt especially cool in the airport, waiting at the gate with him. They must have looked like a couple there. But now she wished Aunt Marcy could meet him too...

But the California sun, as well as the accomplished feeling of having survived and enjoyed her first plane ride, had improved Jill's mood drastically. She'd always wanted to come to California, and now she was finally here...with Todd. It just sucked that Aunt Marcy's death was the reason this was all happening. But, Jill thought, if she hadn't died right now, Todd and I wouldn't be here, and maybe this is what will bring us together....Then she realized with shock and guilt how bad it was to be thinking like that, and prayed to God to forgive her for being so selfish.

As the SUV slipped through the large black elegant-looking gate into Marcy's neighborhood, Jill's mouth dropped open in shock. These houses were beyond anything she'd ever seen or imagined. Most of them were only partially visible from the winding road, but Jill could tell from peering through the tree-filled yards they were all enormous and beautiful. Now she was even more excited to see Aunt Marcy's house, and even more disappointed she'd never been able to come visit before.

When they finally turned into the driveway, Jill's eyes widened. This had to be one of the prettiest homes in the neighborhood. The driveway curved uphill and circled in front of a three-story Victorian-style mansion. It looked like a castle. Jill couldn't take her eyes off it as the car rolled to a stop.

"Sweet house," Todd said as he climbed out of the car.

"I told you you'd like it," Jill's mom said, smiling at Jill's stunned expression. "Come on inside and I'll take you to your rooms, then you can go use the pool."

The entryway was gorgeous and spotless, a wide spacious foyer leading to a spiral staircase with a large ornate banister. Windows from other rooms shone light into the entryway, giving it an open, airy feel. No one else was in sight.

Jill's mom headed for the stairs, and Jill and Todd followed. The stairs had plush white carpet, and it felt soft and cushioning under Jill's flip-flops as she ascended. At the top was another open area overlooking the foyer, and across from where they were standing, another spiral staircase rose to the third floor. On either side of them were hallways leading to the two wings of the second floor, and Jill and Todd followed Mrs. Sherer to the left.

She stopped halfway down the hall and motioned into a bedroom. "Here's one; one of you can take this one, and then the other one's right next door. I'm guessing Jill will want that one." She smiled at Jill a little. "I kind of think she designed it for you, in case you ever came to visit." Jill's eyes widened. "You guys have this wing all to yourselves. Go ahead and get unpacked and changed, and then you can come down and find us in the office. Just follow the foyer all the way to the back, and it's off to the right."

"Thanks," Todd said, then peered into the first room. Jill stood on her tiptoes and tried to look over his shoulder, even though she was dying to go see the one her mom had said she'd want. This room had light blue carpet and a big double bed set back against the wall. The bed had a large wooden headboard, and huge windows covered the wall on the side of the room opposite the door. There was a large TV across from the bed, and two doors, one probably the closet, and the other a bathroom?

Jill turned and eagerly went to check out the other bedroom. When she saw it, she gasped in delight. The carpet was lavender, and a huge princess bed with a shiny silver headboard and dark purple comforter beckoned welcomingly. This room also had a TV and two doors, as well as the wall of windows.

Jill squealed. "This one's mine!" she yelled to Todd, then rushed over to look out the windows. "Oh my gosh, Todd, look out your window!" Straight below Jill a crystal clear pool sparkled in the sun. It was twice as large as the Sherers' pool and had a wide deck with several cushioned lounge chairs.

Jill ran back into Todd's room. "Did you see that?"

"Yeah, that's awesome. Your aunt was freakin' rich."

"I know. I knew she was, but I had no idea." As Jill said it, she got the weird feeling of being in a place that had belonged to someone who was no longer alive. Even though she'd never been here when Aunt Marcy lived here, the void of her presence was overwhelming. It was a spooky feeling, so Jill tried to push it away. She wondered if Aunt Marcy had really designed that room for her.

"I'm gonna go change," she said quickly, then turned and went back to her own room.

***

The rest of the day passed quickly. The long drive the night before, the long wait at Chicago's O'Hare airport, the plane ride, the sun, and the fact that it was a couple hours later at home had completely wiped Jill out, and after her family and Todd gathered in the spacious, airy kitchen that perfectly fit with the atmosphere of the rest of the house and ate takeout, Jill was ready to go upstairs and pass out in that comfy-looking bed.

Todd followed her upstairs. "So, are you doing all right?" he asked outside their rooms. He looked unsure of himself, as if he didn't know whether he should ask or not.

"Yeah, I am so far. Thanks, Todd. And thanks again so much for coming. I'm so glad you're here, 'cause I think otherwise it'd be a lot worse."

Todd gave her a small smile and lightly hit her arm. "I'm glad you're doing okay. All right, well, I guess I'll see ya in the morning."

"Okay, night." Jill wanted to hug him; he looked so cute in his baggy T-shirt and shorts, and she felt so close to him right now, but she was afraid he'd think it was weird or something. She hesitated a moment, then smiled at him and turned and went into her room.

***

The viewing on Thursday night was a sobering experience. Wednesday and most of Thursday had been the same as Tuesday, with Jill and Todd hanging out at the pool to stay out of everyone's way, or taking care of Aaron and Winnie when they fought or got bored watching TV and movies from the vast selection Mrs. Sherer had thought to bring along. Jill and Todd had spent a couple hours Wednesday afternoon exploring the whole house and playing hide and seek with Aaron and Winnie, and it had been so cool. The house had a back stairway leading all the way up to the third floor from a pantry off the kitchen, and Jill thought it was so fun to imagine this house a hundred years ago and the people who lived in it then, back when that stairway would've been used. The bedrooms on the third floor were quite a bit smaller, and Jill felt like she was walking through history. She wondered how long the house had really been here...if it was really that old, or just built to look like it. She liked to believe it had really been here that long. She wondered about the lives and secrets of the people who had lived here.

For the viewing, Jill wore a short black skirt and dark blue short-sleeved shirt. Todd wore black dress pants and a white dress shirt, and Jill thought he looked unbelievable. She'd never seen him this dressed up before. She loved the contrast of his dressy clothes and his long surfer hair. He fit right in in California, she realized.

For the first part of the viewing, Jill stood in line with her parents and grandparents to greet guests, but her feet started to hurt, and she didn't really know anyone, so her mom finally suggested she and Todd take a break and go sit in the coat room.

"I'm so sorry," Jill said as they plopped down. "You're probably so bored, and you don't even know anybody. I don't even know anybody."

"It's all right. Whatever. How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess."

"Was it weird, like...seeing her?" Todd was referring to when Jill had gone up to the open casket with the rest of her family.

"Kind of. I guess. I mean, I don't know...I feel really bad. 'Cause I feel like I'm not as sad about this as I should be. I mean, I cried when I first found out, but it's like now that I'm here, I can't make myself feel that much emotion about it, and I feel like I should." She looked at him doubtfully, hoping he could explain somehow.

Todd shrugged and made a face to show he had no idea. "I don't know, Jilly, I never have even been to a funeral before. But I wouldn't feel bad about it. I mean, you haven't even seen her for six years. And you did cry when you first heard, so you're probably just done crying. I mean, it's weird 'cause it's death and all, but I don't think you should still feel like you have to cry about it. No one's expecting that of you."

"Do you think?" Even though he really had no idea either, what he'd said made her feel better. "I feel like I should fake feeling really sad or crying or something so people won't think I'm horrible."

"Nah, you don't need to do that. I mean, they should understand. Plus, they're all wrapped up in their own thoughts about it and stuff; I doubt they even really notice you."

"That's true. Thanks." Jill offered him a small smile.

"Well, I don't know if I really helped that much, but no prob." Todd flashed her his normal goofy, teasing smile, and Jill grinned back. It felt so good to see him smile at her just like he would back at home, if they were at school or at Landon's. For the last three days she'd been so wrapped up in this situation she hadn't even thought about things back at home.

"So Hilton said Landon's having a party Saturday night," she said. "I guess it's his birthday, and Brady's was like Monday, so it's like a joint party. I wish we could go." She frowned. They were scheduled to fly out Sunday morning. "I don't know why my grandparents didn't have us fly back Saturday." Suddenly all she wanted was to be back in her normal life, going to Landon's and enjoying the summer like she'd been doing four days ago.

"Oh well," Todd said. "It's all right. There'll be plenty more."

"Yeah," Jill said. Even though she had to miss Landon's party, at least she'd be with Todd! She wondered if he was bored here yet, or wishing he hadn't come. He wasn't acting like it, but of course he'd probably rather go to Landon's than be stuck here with her. He was probably wondering what he'd been thinking when he got himself into this. "Thanks again for coming," she said. "I know you're probably like, 'I wish I would've stayed home; this totally sucks.' "

"Come on, Jilly. I said I wanted to come, didn't I? It was my idea." He reached out and put his arm around her, playfully pulling her head down on his shoulder. "Don't feel so bad about it. You act like I made a huge sacrifice or something. Don't you know I'd rather be here with you than at home partying? I'd be worried about you anyways."

Jill's heart soared. She couldn't believe he'd just said he would rather be here with her than at home partying and having a good time with his friends. That _had_ to mean he liked her, didn't it? At least a little? All she knew was she'd never felt closer to him than she did this week.

We'd make _such_ a perfect couple! she thought. He's so perfect for me...we _have_ to get together. It was so easy to pretend he was her boyfriend while they were here, at least in front of other people. She _loved_ showing him off and just being near him at the viewing, and she hoped everyone was impressed and thought they made a cute couple. But she could barely stand the fact that it wasn't real, and she was already starting to worry about going back and losing this feeling and this closeness she had with him here. Suddenly she was no longer as excited to get back to her normal life.

"Aww, thanks, Todd," she said, trying not to let him see how much his comment had affected her.

"Yeppers. You know I love you, Jilly." Todd ruffled her hair, then leaned over and playfully kissed the top of her head.

Jill closed her eyes for a moment, surprised and now floating even higher than she had been before. This felt _so right_...

***

The next day at the funeral, Jill and Todd sat in the third row behind her parents and Aaron and Winnie. Todd felt awkward and a little nervous. He'd never been to a funeral before, and it was kind of creepy.

When Jill's grandma went up to give a eulogy and spoke about how Marcy was one of the most positive and enthusiastic people she'd ever known and the best sister she could've ever had, Todd noticed that a tear trickled down Jill's face. She didn't make a move to wipe it away.

"There are so many things I regret," Jill's grandma was saying. "We had a fight six years ago, and we lost contact. That was the worst thing I could've done; it was so hard to see the big picture then. But now I can't believe I let a stupid little fight keep us separated for all these years." She was crying too. "But I know she still loved me, and I always loved her too. So please, please, don't let hurt feelings hold you back from your loved ones. Make an effort to repair those relationships, because it's one of the most important things in life, being close to your family." She lowered her head in tears, then wiped her eyes and slowly returned to her seat in the front row.

Todd looked over at Jill and saw tears streaming down her face. He hesitated, then took her hand and held it awkwardly.

She automatically intertwined her fingers with his as their hands rested on her lap, then looked at him through her tears. He understood that she didn't have any words, and he squeezed her hand tightly in empathy.

Later, as they were leaving the church, an elderly woman stopped to talk to Jill's family. As she moved past them, she stopped in front of Jill and Todd and gazed sympathetically at Jill's tear-streaked face. "Oh, honey, it's hard to lose somebody, isn't it?" Then she turned to Todd. "I'm so glad to see you here, sweetheart. It's so wonderful to see such a caring relationship at such a young age. I wish more young people had that. You're a nice boy, I can tell. I bet she's glad she has a boyfriend like you." The woman winked at Jill.

"Oh," Todd said, surprised at the mistake. He hadn't even thought of the possibility of people mistaking him for Jill's boyfriend. He looked at Jill, who quickly removed her hand from his arm and gave the woman a small smile. He could tell she was embarrassed. "Thanks," he added, and the woman smiled, then turned and walked away.

"Sorry," Jill said with an uncomfortable laugh.

"It's okay." Todd frowned to himself. It was okay, he decided. He'd never thought of people seeing the two of them that way, but now he realized it probably did appear they were a couple. But he didn't mind. Jill was probably his best friend besides Bennett or Dirk, so it was cool if people thought she was his girlfriend.

"Come on, honey," he said jokingly, looping his arm tightly around her neck and grinning down at her. "We'd best be going along now."

Jill giggled, although her eyes were still puffy from crying, and smacked him lightly in the chest.

"Aww, are you still upset? Here, come on, it'll be okay, just walk with me." His voice was quiet. "Or better yet, give me a hug, baby." He grabbed her around the waist, his facial expression completely serious for the benefit of everyone around them, and pulled her close. "Sshh, sshh, it's okay, babe." He pressed her face into his shoulder and stroked her shiny brown hair.

Jill giggled into his shoulder. "Thanks for all your support, honey," she whispered sarcastically, then looked up at him. Todd smiled down at her, still trying to appear serious, but he could tell by her mocking look that she saw the twinkle in his eyes.

"Do you need a kiss from Todd to make you feel all better?" He leaned in quickly, knowing she wouldn't know what to do, because if she slapped him away, it would draw everyone's attention. He loved teasing her like this; a couple times before he'd acted like he was going to kiss her, and she'd looked so freaked out it'd been hilarious.

Jill leaned back slightly and turned her head. Todd caught the corner of her mouth and gave her a small peck.

"There, all better now?"

Jill widened her eyes at him. "Todd!" she hissed. "What are you doing?" She glanced around to see if anyone had noticed.

"You're the one making it look weird," he grinned. "You're supposed to be my girlfriend and you're leaning away when I try to kiss you? Jeez, thanks a lot."

Jill rolled her eyes at him and grabbed his arm, laughing a little. "Come on, let's go, you dork."

Todd grinned to himself as he walked beside her to the white SUV where her parents were waiting. This could be hilarious, pretending to be her boyfriend. There was all kinds of stuff he could think of to do that would embarrass her.

***

Late that afternoon after the burial, Jill's grandparents hosted a dinner at Marcy's house for several close friends. During the meal, someone asked Jill how she and Todd had met.

"Oh, we met in English class last year," she said.

"How long have you two been together?"

"Almost since we met," Todd cut in before Jill could answer. "She was pretty much obsessed with me from the beginning, so finally I agreed to go out with her once just to get her to leave me alone, but then she blackmailed me into going out with her again. But I guess she's all right. I kinda like her now." He grinned evilly in Jill's direction.

Jill's mouth dropped open. She kicked him under the table, then looked helplessly at the woman who had asked the question. The woman was smiling.

"That's adorable," she said. "Although we all know it was probably the other way around." She winked at Jill, who was still staring, dumbfounded.

Finally Jill managed a small smile back. "Yeah, it was definitely the other way," she said, raising her eyebrows sassily at Todd. "He begged me to go out with him for a month before I agreed."

***

Later, just as Jill was snuggling under the covers in the big princess bed, the door to her room flew open and Todd lunged across the room, jumping on top of her.

She shrieked. "Todd! What the hell are you doing?" She tried to shove him off. "Get off me!"

Todd laughed, then held his index finger up to his lips. "Sssshhh, don't you know to be quiet when your boyfriend sneaks into your room late at night?" Then he grinned and rolled off her, lying on his side on top of the comforter and propping his head up on his hand. "Seriously though, I just wanted to check and make sure you were doing okay, after today and all."

Jill was silent a moment, still trying to get her heart to slow down. When Todd had jumped on top of her it had raced at such a great speed she was afraid he could hear it beating against him. "Um, yeah, I'm actually doing all right, I think. Except for the fact that you just scared the shit out of me!" She laughed, still a little shaken...but more from his body against hers than from being frightened by his sudden entrance.

"So you're really okay?"

"Yeah."

"Damn, Jill, I honestly think you handled this whole thing really well," he said. "I probably won't even handle my parents' divorce this well."

"Do you really think they'll get divorced?" Jill asked, surprised.

"Hell, I don't know. I don't know anything about them anymore. It's way fuckin' over my head." His tone carried a touch of bitterness.

"Aww, try not to worry too much about it now. You don't even know what'll happen. It could all turn out great. They could stay together and be happier than ever." With him lying next to her on the bed, she was reminded of the hotel room at Cedar Point. Barely over two weeks ago, and so much had happened since then.

"Yeah, maybe, but probably not." Now his tone was more bummed than bitter.

Jill sat up and leaned over to hug him, suddenly bold. "It'll be okay, Todd."

"I know. Let's do something."

"What?"

"Like go out somewhere. We're in California, and we haven't even done any sightseeing or anything."

"Where are we gonna go? My parents are in bed; they won't take us anywhere right now."

"We'll call a cab."

"Are you serious?" Jill had thought he was joking, but now she felt excitement rising. She realized she wanted to go badly.

"Hell, yeah. Let's go."

"Okay! Let's do it."

"Really?" Todd looked at her, surprised. "I'm impressed. You usually don't wanna do anything like this."

I do when I'm with you, Jill thought, saying aloud, "Well, I do tonight."

"All right, it's on! There's a phonebook in my room. What's the address here? I'll go call a cab while you get ready."

She told him, and he bounded off the bed and out of the room. Jill stared after him for a moment. This is _awesome_! she thought. I'm sneaking out with him! She couldn't wait to tell Hilton and Lorylyn. She eagerly bounced off the bed and hurried to the dresser to find something to wear.

***

"UCLA, please," Todd told the cab driver.

The cab had picked them up just outside Aunt Marcy's gated neighborhood. Jill felt the same thrill she'd experienced when she skipped SRT and hid in the coaches' lounge with Todd last year. Just as she'd been then, she was once again reminded of the way Brady and Brooke used to look at each other before Brady started dating Lorylyn, like the two of them shared exhilarating, sexy secrets. More than anything, Jill wanted to look at Todd and have the same electricity pass between them that passed between Brady and Brooke. She loved every little taste of that feeling she could seize when she was with him, and she was very much feeling it tonight.

The cab driver dropped them off on a corner of Sunset Boulevard by a big UCLA stone that had a ledge where people could sit. As they climbed out of the cab, Jill looked across the street and gasped.

"Oh my gosh, look! It's the Hotel Bel-Air!" She pointed. Across Sunset from where they stood, neon green letters forming the hotel's name in thin cursive rose into the black sky. They must have been on a sign, but all Jill could see was the letters. They floated over the street, looking tropical and glamorous at the same time. Jill couldn't see the hotel itself, but she figured it must be right down that road. "That's so cool!" she said to an unimpressed Todd, then laughed. "Sorry."

"It's cool, I guess I just don't get that excited about famous hotels," he said with a grin. "Or famous streets." Jill had been thrilled every time they'd driven on Sunset Boulevard this week. "Come on, let's go check out the campus."

They wandered for what seemed like an hour or so, walking slowly and wondering what different buildings might be. They saw one Jill thought must be the Union because it had a large open area in front of it, like the Union at DBU.

"That doesn't mean anything," Todd said. "I bet they have more than one Union here anyway."

Jill loved watching all the college students walking across campus at night. She wondered what college was like and envied these people a little because they knew. Some students walked alone, with backpacks and headphones on, and others walked in groups, probably headed to or home from parties. This campus was so much bigger than DBU's, and Jill loved it. She decided right then and there she was going to a big school.

"Hey!" two guys shouted from several yards away as they passed Jill and Todd. Jill thought they sounded drunk. "There's a party at Canyon Point. You guys should come!"

"Wanna go?" Todd asked Jill.

She considered a moment. "No, not really. We don't even know where it is."

"We can follow them."

"Yeah...I just don't really want to. Sorry. I'm not really in the mood. This is fun, though. I'd rather just keep walking, if that's cool."

"Yeah, that's fine."

A few minutes later they passed the stadium and realized they were back by where they'd started.

"Hey," Jill said suddenly. "How are we gonna get back home?!" She looked at Todd in panic. "How will we call a cab?!"

Todd stopped, hands in his pockets, and looked around. "Well, shit. There's gotta be a building unlocked or something, with a payphone inside. Come on." He hurried back in the direction they'd just come.

Jill hurried after him. "Wait! How will you know the number?"

"Well, let's hope there's a phonebook or something."

They walked quickly back to the building Jill had thought was the Union. Todd led the way through the wide open circular plaza in front of it. The first set of doors they approached had a huge dark sign over it declaring _UCLA Store_.

"Come on, let's try another one." Todd grabbed Jill's arm and led her to a set of about ten steps. He bolted up them two at a time and approached another set of doors.

"Look!" Jill pointed as they passed a large column at the top of the steps. Ackerman Union was spelled out in thin letters on the column. "See, I was right! It's the Union!" She grinned triumphantly.

"Sweet. It should be unlocked then." Todd pulled on the door, and to Jill's relief, it opened. She didn't know what they would do if they couldn't find a payphone. She was starting to feel like they needed to get back soon; she was worried her parents would catch them.

"Here we go," Todd said, approaching a payphone. Underneath the phone sat a thick phonebook. Todd held it up with a smile, and Jill smiled back.

Todd dug some change out of his pocket and dialed the number for the same cab company he'd called before. "We're at UCLA," he said. "Um...pick us up at the corner of Sunset?" He looked back at Jill and she nodded. "Yeah, the corner of Sunset, like by the sign for the Bel-Air Hotel."

"The Hotel Bel-Air," Jill corrected as he hung up.

"Ten minutes," he said.

"This was fun," Jill said as they left the Union and walked slowly back to the edge of campus. "Good idea."

"I always have good ideas. You're so lucky to have such a cool friend like me."

Jill giggled. "Oh, whatever. You're so full of yourself!"

"Well, wouldn't you be? I mean, shit. I'm hot, smart, funny, a star athlete...how could I not be full of myself?" His tone was careless and arrogant.

Jill laughed and shoved him as hard as she could. "Please. You're like, a wannabe surfer who makes bad jokes and just takes advanced classes to be around me, and you'll probably get cut from basketball. That's why you don't wanna play, not 'cause you'd rather focus on baseball." She smiled up at him in the dark, hoping he didn't take her teasing the wrong way.

Todd made a loud sobbing noise and brought his hand to his face, acting as if he were wiping away tears. "Thanks a lot. I see how it is. Glad to know how you really feel."

"Oh, shut up, Todd." Jill leaned into him, nudging him with her shoulder. She caught herself just as she started to add, You know I love you. It was what he always said to her, yet she didn't feel quite comfortable saying it to him, because it was true. When he said it, he was most likely just joking, or he at least didn't mean it in the same way she'd mean it...

They sat on the bench of the big UCLA stone to wait for the cab. It was a warm night, and the air felt a little bit like it always did on Florida nights, moist and thick and alive with the promise of palm trees and beaches and sunny days.

"Where to?" the cab driver asked as they climbed into the backseat.

"The beach," Todd said.

Jill's head flew around and she looked at him with wide eyes. He grinned.

"Which beach?" the driver asked.

"Um, whatever's closest."

"Todd, we've gotta go back. My mom's gonna kill me!"

"Oh, please...she'll never know. Come on, Jill, this whole week's been depressing. Let's have some fun."

Jill hesitated, but she already knew what she'd say. "Okay." When she was with Todd, there was really no other answer.

***

The sand here was brown, not white like the sand on Fort Myers Beach. It was harder too. They walked slowly along by the water, letting the tide lap at their feet.

"It's kinda cold out here," Jill said, folding her arms across her chest and rubbing them to keep warm.

"Yeah, it's a tad bit nipply," Todd said, and Jill giggled.

They walked in silence for a while, then Todd stopped and faced her with his hands in his pockets. "Jill, what you said the other day, about me wishing I hadn't come or whatever, I really hope you know that's not true." He watched her, waiting for a reaction.

Jill slumped her shoulders. "I know. I shouldn't have said it. I feel bad. It was so nice of you to come, and I know it was your idea and you wanted to. I just didn't want you to be bored here, and I know you didn't know anybody and stuff..." She trailed off, knowing she was rambling. She felt like she wasn't really saying what she wanted to say, but she wasn't sure how to get her feelings across.

"Don't feel bad. It's cool. I've actually had a pretty good time. I hope you have too, even though it's been kind of a bummer 'cause of your aunt and all."

"I have. I really have. It would've sucked if you didn't come. Thanks, Todd." She gazed up at him, suddenly overwhelmed by this moment they were sharing and her feelings for him. She almost felt like she was going to cry.

"Come here, Jilly." Todd looked off above her head as he reached out for her, grabbing her around the neck and pulling her close. She stood in his arms silently, her hands smashed between their bodies so that she was unable to hug him back.

This is so romantic, she thought to herself. Me and Todd, on the beach, at night...she couldn't have asked for anything better.

Todd held her for a long moment, then finally let go. "Come on, we'd better get back," he said. "I saw a payphone up by the pier when we first got here."

"All right," Jill said, still feeling like she might cry, but filled with happiness at the same time. This was definitely a night she'd remember forever.

***

"Grandma, can I ask you something?" Jill asked the next afternoon. Todd was out at the pool, and Jill had been on her way out to join him, but first she had to ask the question that had been bothering her all week.

"Sure, honey." Her grandma was sitting at the kitchen table eating a sandwich.

"What was your and Aunt Marcy's fight about?"

Her grandma's eyes fell to her plate, and she sighed. "Well...before I met Grandpa, I had a boyfriend all through high school. His name was Edward. I called him Eddie. Then he went away to college and I stayed home, but we stayed together, and right before he left, he proposed to me." Her eyes had a faraway look.

Jill looked at her in surprise. She hadn't known her grandma had been engaged before Grandpa.

"Anyway, the next Christmas, he was supposed to come home, but he never did; he'd been invited to go to New York City with some friends from school, and before the Christmas vacation was over, he'd broken off our engagement. I guess after experiencing the big city, he didn't want to come back to plain old me. So I was devastated, of course, until I finally met Grandpa. But still, I never really got over Eddie. He was my first love. I think you can understand that." Her grandma flashed her eyes knowingly in the direction of the backyard, and Jill quickly looked down at the table.

"Well, I never heard from him again, but I guess Marcy did. Well, she actually ran into him. He did really well for himself and they were both living the high life out here. But she never told me. Instead...she moved in with him."

"WHAT?!" Jill cried. "She _moved in_ with him? With your ex-fiancé?" She couldn't believe it. That was horrible.

"Yep, she sure did. For ten years. And I never had any idea. Since she had so much money, she kept her own house, this one, and whenever I'd come out to visit, she'd move back in here for a couple weeks and act like she'd lived here all along."

"Oh my gosh." Jill was in shock. How could Aunt Marcy have done that? She'd always seemed so nice...and she'd done it to her own sister?!

Jill's thoughts flashed to what her grandma had implied about Todd being her first love, and she suddenly felt that her grandma's choice to shut Marcy out of her life had been completely justified. If Hillary ever moved in with Todd or even hooked up with him behind Jill's back....Why did I think Hillary? Jill suddenly wondered. Probably because she's stabbed me in the back before....It made her shudder just to think about Hillary and Todd. She was _so_ glad Hillary had a boyfriend so she wouldn't have to worry about that.

"So she just told you about it a few years ago, then?" Jill asked.

"Yes, and you know what? I think it was because she knew she had Alzheimer's. As soon as I heard that's what she died from, I knew. She knew she had it and didn't want to tell us, but she was afraid she'd start to forget things, and that was her way of coming clean before she forgot completely or lost control of her memories and blurted it out without even knowing what she was saying."

"So you...forgive her now?" Jill couldn't even imagine forgiving a betrayal that huge.

"Yes, I do. I ended up going on to have a very happy and fulfilling marriage. I love Grandpa, and I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. If I'd still been with Eddie, I probably would've ended up in California, and I hate it here. I wouldn't have been happy. And your dad wouldn't have ever been born, so neither would you. And other than that one thing, Marcy was the best sister I could've asked for. And there must've really been something between them. I mean, they were together for twice as long as Eddie and I were."

"Yeah, I guess..." Jill still could hardly comprehend the scope of Marcy's betrayal, and just the thought of Todd being with one of her friends for ten years, or even one year, or of him having something better or deeper with one of them than what he had with her, wrenched her stomach and twisted it into knots.

"I guess it's just that now I'm able to see the big picture," her grandma said, and her look told Jill she knew exactly what Jill was thinking. "But that's much harder to do at your age. So you just need to make the most of every moment you have. Don't hold back, or you'll regret it later when you've lost your chance." She glanced toward the backyard again, and Jill followed her gaze. "Why are you still sitting here?" her grandma asked with a small smile. "Don't you have somewhere else you'd rather be?"

Jill smiled back as she gathered her towel and stood up. "I guess so." Her smile widened. "Thanks, Grandma. I'm sorry about Eddie."

"I'm not. Go have some fun with your boy. He's very cute, by the way."

Now Jill grinned. "I know!" She looked back over her shoulder as she ran to the door, her eyes sparkling and the smile still in place. She hesitated a moment, feeling like there was something else she wanted to say, something that would be profound and meaningful and let her grandma know she had understood the deepness of their conversation, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was, so she opened the door and rushed out into the bright California sun to enjoy her last day here with Todd.

### chapter 6) landon's... landon and brady's birthday party

"Where are you going?" Brady asked, reaching out for Brooke as she climbed out of her bed.

She stepped out of his reach with a smile. "I've gotta get ready."

"It's only 5:30."

"I know, but Lindy's coming at six. She had a tennis lesson in Logan, so she's stopping by to pick me up on her way back, then I'm just gonna go to her house with her while she gets ready. Don't you have to go pick up Lorylyn anyway?" Brooke looked at him in the mirror as she tied her red swimsuit top around her neck.

"Yeah, I guess I could head over there early." Brady stretched and yawned, then returned to his prior position, making no move to get out of bed.

"How's it going with her?" Brooke asked casually, brushing her long brown hair up into a high ponytail. She watched his face in the mirror.

His expression didn't change. "It's great," he said easily.

"That's good," Brooke said with a cold smile, but Brady didn't notice. He was looking around her room.

"Damn, I never noticed how many movie posters you have in here. Where'd you get all those?"

"I actually just got them all a couple weeks ago. From Matt. 'Cause he works at the video store, you know?" She stared at him, hoping for a reaction at the mention of Matt's name, but she got nothing.

"Oh. That's cool. Maybe he could hook me up with some." Brady finally stopped surveying her posters and sat up and stretched again. "All right, well I guess I should get goin'." He climbed out of bed, his long curly black hair falling in front of his face.

Brooke, still in front of the mirror, watched him as he pulled his boxers and shirt on, then his khaki cargo shorts. His T-shirt was a thin white undershirt that showed off his lanky but muscular upper body, and his shorts hung low enough in back that she could see the top of his boxers. She wanted to go over and touch him again, but things were always so weird after they had sex. It was like they went from being totally intimate to completely hands-off. Whenever he said goodbye, he never even hugged or kissed her, and she always felt like he didn't even want her anymore. But he kept coming back...

"All right, I'm out. Later, Brooke." Brady tossed his hand up in a casual wave and walked out of her room.

She stared after him, hating the empty feeling he always left behind. All she wanted was a goodbye hug, something to carry the intimacy out of the bed and beyond the sex itself. She wanted to feel like he actually cared about her. And he hadn't even called her Brookie when he left, just Brooke.

She looked back in the mirror. But it _had_ been great today, probably one of their best times ever. She grinned at herself as she went over it again in her mind. Yep...totally hot. It couldn't be that good if he didn't feel anything for her. And she was about to see Lorylyn, and the feeling of just having slept with Brady would definitely keep her feeling pretty satisfied. Of course, it'd be even better if Brady were _her_ boyfriend and didn't have to leave to go pick up Lorylyn...but she was working on that. She'd be working on it all night tonight. And even Lindy won't have a clue, she thought to herself with a devious grin as she adjusted her ponytail one last time to give it just the right amount of bounce. It should be an interesting night.

***

"Oh, hey!" Lorylyn said in surprise as she answered the door. "You're early."

"Yeah, I was ready and didn't have anything else to do, so I thought I'd come by and just hang out with you for a little while." Brady flashed her his charming smile and flicked at the curl that always fell in front of his eye.

"Well, that's cool, I'm happy to see you!" Lorylyn stood on her tiptoes and gave him a hug. She loved that he was almost a foot taller than her; it made her feel protected and safe. "You can come up to my room with me while I finish getting ready."

Brady's gaze slid down to her legs and back up again. "Too bad you're already dressed for the party, I was hoping I could help. It is my birthday party." He grinned and then laughed.

Lorylyn giggled and slapped him lightly on the arm. "Oh, stop it! I already gave you your present on Monday." She'd gotten him boxers and a gift certificate to SportWorld, a store in the Logan mall he always said was his favorite. "Come on, I just have to put my hair up, then I'll be ready. We can go early if you want, or whatever."

"Okay, that's cool."

"Or...maybe we could stay here a little longer." Lorylyn flashed a flirtatious smile over her shoulder as she led him up the stairs. "My parents aren't home."

***

When Brooke and Lindy arrived at Landon's, Lindy spotted her boyfriend Andy sitting on the stone wall down by the lake and headed in his direction. Brooke followed, scoping out the scene as she walked. She touched Lindy's arm as they neared the wall.

"Hey, I see Matt. I'm gonna go talk to him."

"Okay," Lindy said with a grin. "Have fun." She winked.

Brooke winked back. "Oh, you know I will." She smiled to herself as she approached the patio, where Matt was sitting with Landon and Kevin and a few other guys. It's so working, she told herself. Lindy totally thinks I like him.

And she had to admit, Matt was pretty hot with his shaggy brown hair and green eyes and athletic build. She'd picked the best-looking guy she could. If she was going to have to date someone to ward off suspicion and convince Lindy she was over Brady, Matt had been a good choice. Landon was cute too, of course, and she had hooked up with him at his Valentine's Day party last winter, but she was more into dark-haired guys. And she thought Landon and Hilton might be hooking up now; they had looked pretty into each other when they were dancing at the last party. They would be like the ultimately perfect couple...the all-American blond athlete and the golden girl...just like she and Brady would be the ultimately perfect dark-haired couple....She shook that thought away. She and Matt would look good together too. She was glad she'd chosen him. She congratulated herself silently and caught Matt's eye as she approached. He so wants me too, she thought as he flashed her an appealing grin.

She smiled back and walked right up to him, sitting down on his lap. "Hey, hottie," she said flirtatiously. "What's up?"

Matt grinned and put his arm around her waist. "Not much, babe. Glad to see you too."

"Hell yeah, Allan," Landon said, using Matt's last name. "I wish I got a hello like that from a hot girl."

Brooke raised her eyebrows at Landon and gave him a small, teasing smile. "Yeah, well, I don't think Matt appreciates it too much, 'cause he hasn't even asked me out on a date yet."

"Oooooohhhhhh," all the guys teased. "Jeez, Allan, you pussy."

Brooke grinned in satisfaction and put her arm around Matt's shoulder as he bounced her on his lap.

"All right, all right, you got me," he said with a good-natured grin. "Do you wanna go out sometime?"

Brooke stood up and offered Matt her hand. "Maybe. But what I want right now is for you to get me a drink."

"Oooooohhhhhh," all the guys said again. "She got you, man!"

Brooke grinned sassily over her shoulder at them as Matt stood up and took her hand.

"Shut up, guys," Matt said, still grinning.

As Brooke led Matt toward the keg, making sure to sway her hips as she walked, she flashed a haughty smile in Lindy's direction, knowing she'd be watching. Lindy grinned back and raised her cup slightly in a toast. Ashley was standing by Lindy, and she was grinning at Brooke too. Even better. Ashley had known Brooke liked Brady a lot last winter. Now everybody would see she was over him.

Yep, so far, so good, Brooke thought.

***

"Damn, Hill, you're drinking fast tonight," Lorylyn said a couple hours later. She and Brady had ended up getting to the party half an hour later than they'd planned. They'd taken advantage of the time alone in Lorylyn's room, and she was now in a fabulous mood. He hadn't tried anything more than making out, and she had to admit she'd been a little disappointed...but it had been so nice to be in a bed again, like at Cedar Point, instead of on a couch or in his car somewhere.

Hillary had told Lorylyn she'd already had two beers before Lorylyn and Brady got to Landon's, and now she was on her second since Lorylyn had been here.

Hillary's eyes flashed to Lorylyn's, then quickly away. Her long normally-straight blonde hair hung in messy waves almost to her waist. "Not that fast. I got here way before you did."

They were sitting on the stone wall waiting for Brady and Dirk, who'd gone to get more beer. Lorylyn was kicking her feet against the wall; she had tons of energy and couldn't stop moving.

"Are you okay?" Lorylyn asked, looking at Hillary more closely. Hillary's eyes had a strange, sort of wild look in them.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Hillary was silent for a moment, then looked back at Lorylyn. "So, what's up with you? You've been all bouncy tonight."

Lorylyn grinned. "Oh, Brady showed up early and we had some alone time. No one else was home." She looked at Hillary and giggled, knowing Hillary loved hearing about that kind of thing. To her surprise, Hillary looked away again.

"Oh," was all she said.

"Hill, are you sure you're okay?" Lorylyn touched her shoulder and peered around to look her in the eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Here come the guys." Hillary moved away from Lorylyn's touch and smiled at Dirk. "Hey," she called.

"Hey, where's Jill and Hilton?" Lorylyn asked suddenly, glancing around in surprise. "It's almost dark; it's gotta be like nine or so. They're usually here by now." She scanned the crowd. "There's Cassidy and Sam, up by the grill. Didn't they come with them tonight?" She frowned.

Hillary gave no response.

"Hill? Do you know where they are?"

"No."

"Have you talked to Jill all week? I tried calling her like on Wednesday, but no one answered, and I left a message, but she never called me back. That's weird, she always calls back. And why would Hilton miss? Especially with what's going on with her and Landon..."

"No, I haven't." Hillary beckoned to Dirk as he approached. "Where's Todd? Do you know if Jill and Hilton are with him?"

"I guess he's in California," Dirk said, hopping up beside Hillary and taking a drink from his cup. "Didn't you guys know?"

Lorylyn and Hillary gave Dirk curious looks. "Know what? Why'd he go to California?"

"He went with Jill, I guess."

"Jill's in California?!" Hillary whipped her head around to look at Lorylyn in confusion.

Lorylyn shrugged, bewildered. "I have no clue. I guess that'd explain why she never called me back. Why would she go to California? Did Hilton go too?"

"Oh, Hilton's in the Bahamas, remember?" Hillary said.

"Oh, yeah, duh. I knew that." Lorylyn shook her head, surprised she'd forgotten. "But Jill's in California? What for? Why wouldn't she have told us?"

"Her aunt died or something," Dirk said. "Todd didn't show up for the baseball game the other night, so I called him afterwards, and his mom said he went to California on Tuesday or something with Jill 'cause her aunt died."

"Oh my gosh!" Hillary exclaimed. "Her Aunt Marcy?" She slapped Dirk on the leg. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

Dirk raised his hands as if to say, Sorry! and rolled his eyes at Brady, but Hillary didn't see because she was already talking to Lorylyn again, a shocked expression on her face.

"I know her! She always used to be in Schaumburg when I went there with Jill for Thanksgiving!" Ever since they were little, Hillary had spent Thanksgiving in Illinois with Jill's family, until last year, when Dirk had invited her to his family Thanksgiving and Jill had taken Hilton instead.

"Are you serious?" Lorylyn asked. "I've never heard her talk about an Aunt Marcy."

"Yeah, well Marcy hasn't come for like, a long time," Hillary said, taking a sip of beer. "I think her and Jill's grandma like had a fight or something. It was her grandma's sister. Yeah, I remember, 'cause Jill was really bummed about it, and she tried to get her mom to go out to California to visit her aunt, and she wanted me to come too. That was like, third grade."

"Huh," Lorylyn said. "That's so crazy. I can't believe she just left and none of us even knew!"

"Yeah, it must have been really sudden. That totally sucks," Hillary said.

"Wait, so Todd went with her?" Lorylyn asked, just now fully grasping what Dirk had said. "To the funeral and stuff?"

Hillary looked at Lorylyn with wide eyes, and Lorylyn could tell it'd just clicked in her brain too.

"Yeah, why?" Dirk asked, giving them quizzical looks.

"Nothing," Lorylyn said, and she had to turn away and grin into her shoulder. This was huge! Jill's aunt had died, and Todd had gone all the way to California with her for the funeral?! Lorylyn couldn't wait to talk to Jill. She hoped there was something going on between the two of them!

***

An hour and three beers later for Hillary, Landon shouted that it was time to go skinny-dipping.

"Yay!" Hillary said, jumping off the wall and stumbling when she landed off-balance. Brady reached out and steadied her before she could fall.

"Hey, hon, I don't think you need to go in the water right now," Dirk said, jumping down beside Hillary and putting his arm around her.

To Lorylyn's surprise, Hillary shoved him away forcefully. "Get the fuck off me!" she shouted, her hair swinging as she whirled around. "Don't tell me what to do! Come on, Lorylyn!" She grabbed Lorylyn's arm and started in the direction of the water.

Lorylyn shot a shocked glance at Brady and Dirk, then tripped after Hillary, who was still pulling on her arm. "Hill, what the hell?! Wait up!"

"Dude, what the fuck's up with her tonight?" Brady asked Dirk.

"Don't ask me. Probably just drunk." Dirk shrugged. "I guess I should go after her, before she pulls Lorylyn in." He jogged after the girls, and Brady followed.

"Hey!" Dirk called, grabbing Hillary's arm as he caught them. "What's wrong, babe?"

Hillary wheeled around to face him, her hair hanging in her face. "I told you to leave me alone!" she said fiercely. "I'm not in the mood to be around you right now!"

"What the hell did I do?" Dirk asked. "We were just sitting up there talking, and you were fine."

"No I wasn't! I haven't been fine all night! Didn't you realize I've barely been talking to you?!"

"Is this all 'cause you're pissed at me for not telling you Jill and Todd were in California? How was I supposed to know to tell you? Jill's your best friend; I figured you knew. Sorry, okay? It just didn't cross my mind."

"No, it's not 'cause of that! Ugh!" Hillary turned and stormed in the direction of the house.

Lorylyn gave the boys a helpless shrug, then turned and ran after her. "Hill, wait!"

Hillary didn't stop, and Lorylyn followed her through all the people on the patio into the house. "Hillary!"

Hillary didn't look back. She headed straight for the bathroom and went in, but she left the door partially open behind her. Lorylyn took that as an invitation and followed her in. Hillary had sunk to the floor and had her knees up to her chest. She was sobbing.

"Hill, what's going on?!"

Lorylyn got only more sobbing in response. She looked behind her to see if anyone else was around, then closed the door. She squatted down beside Hillary and gently pushed the wavy blonde hair out of Hill's eyes so she could see her face. "Come on, talk to me."

Hillary shook her head, but the anger seemed to have gone out of her, and she was just sitting there helplessly.

"Hill, are you just drunk? Or did something happen with Dirk?"

"You don't even wanna know."

"Of course I do. Come on, you've gotta talk to me about it. I don't think Dirk has any clue why you're mad at him."

"I'm not mad at him."

"Then are you just way too drunk?"

"No."

"Then what's wrong?" Lorylyn felt like they were talking in circles.

"It's probably nothing. I'm probably just being stupid."

"What's probably nothing?"

"I don't know. I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?" Lorylyn was completely lost.

" 'Cause in health last year we learned that two weeks after you start your period is the time you're most likely to get pregnant..."

" _Ooohhh._ " Lorylyn's head cleared. _Now_ she understood. "So it was two weeks after yours when you guys...?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. I mean, that was like exactly two weeks ago, right? So you're not even late yet."

"I know."

"So see, it's fine. I'd probably be freaked out too though. It's natural. But I'm sure you're not pregnant."

"Yeah, probably not." Hillary still wouldn't look up, and she didn't sound convinced.

"So just try not to worry about it. You'll probably start your period in a couple days and you'll be fine."

"Yeah, probably."

"Hill, is something else wrong?"

"No." Hillary wouldn't look at her.

"Oh my gosh, you guys didn't use a condom, did you?" Lorylyn's eyes widened in shock.

"Nope."

Lorylyn pulled herself together quickly, not wanting Hillary to realize what she was actually thinking...How dumb can you be?! "Well, I'm sure you're still fine," she said quickly. "I mean, I seriously doubt you're pregnant. I wouldn't worry about it till you're actually late." She reached out and touched Hillary's arm. "Okay? Have you said anything to Dirk about it?"

"No, but it's weird being around him, 'cause I'm like, freaking out about it."

"Yeah, well I'd just wait a couple days and see what happens, and then I'm sure you'll find out you have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Hillary finally looked up. "Can you hand me some toilet paper?" She took it and wiped her eyes. Finally she sighed and gave Lorylyn a pitiful look. "All right, I guess I'm ready. Help me up?"

They walked arm-in-arm to rejoin the boys.

"Are you okay?" Dirk asked.

"Yeah, I just threw up and I feel a lot better," Hillary lied.

"You ready to go skinny-dipping?" Brady asked Lorylyn. She'd always been too shy last year, but had gone for the first time at Landon's last-day-of-school party this summer.

"Yeah." She took his hand, and as they walked off toward the lake, she glanced back at Hillary, who stood there with Dirk's arm around her. Hillary's pained eyes met Lorylyn's, and Lorylyn made a sympathetic face.

"Is everything okay with her?" Brady asked, following Lorylyn's gaze.

Lorylyn turned back to him. "Yeah. She's fine."

***

"So where the hell are our favorite three people?" Lorylyn said sarcastically to Hillary when she and Brady came out of the lake awhile later. She wished Hillary would've come skinny-dipping with them, but she hadn't, and now she and Dirk were sitting on the stone wall again. Hillary had a faraway look in her eyes, and Lorylyn wanted to do something to cheer her up. She thought a little badmouthing people they didn't like might help; Hillary normally loved that.

Hillary looked at her distractedly. "Who?"

"You know, Blake and Tiffany and Stacy," Lorylyn said in a fakely sweet upbeat voice. Then she giggled, hoping Hillary would laugh too. "I think they missed out on skinny-dipping; I can't believe it. They didn't get to act like sluts in front of all the boys!"

"Oh, I dunno," Hillary said dully, looking away. "I saw them going into the house like awhile ago."

Lorylyn sighed silently, bummed and worried for Hillary.

***

Brooke had been hanging out with Matt most of the night, and when she returned to her seat by him after kissing Kevin during spin the bottle, Matt leaned over so his mouth was almost touching her ear. "I'm jealous," he whispered.

His hot breath felt sexy on her skin, and she turned her head so their noses were almost touching and looked him right in the eyes. "Maybe you'll get your turn later."

As she turned away, she glanced slyly in Brady's direction and saw he was looking her way. She quickly moved her eyes on around the circle, pretending not to have even noticed him, but there was a slight smile on her face. The plan was definitely working.

Later when they were dancing on the patio, Matt got his turn. She made out with him energetically for several songs, and she wasn't really even faking her enthusiasm. He was a good kisser. Good choice, Brooke, she congratulated herself again.

A couple times, though, she opened her eyes and glanced surreptitiously around for Brady, keeping her mouth on Matt's the whole time. She didn't see Brady, but she did see Lindy, who looked at her questioningly. Brooke smiled with her eyes, then quickly closed them again and moved her hands from around Matt's neck to his cheeks, pretending to be completely caught up in him.

Matt responded eagerly, kissing her harder, and Brooke decided to forget about looking for Brady for a little while and just enjoy this. She was sure Brady would see them anyway...she knew they were making quite a scene. The thought pleased her, and she put even more energy into the kiss. Better for Brady to see her looking like she was having the time of her life than to see her looking around like she was bored.

### chapter 7) i won't tell...

On Monday, Jill invited Hillary and Lorylyn over to go swimming. They arrived at the same time, and as they walked around the house to the pool, Lorylyn met Hillary's eyes in a silent question.

Hillary gave a slight shake of her head, and her eyes told Lorylyn the answer before she said it. "Nope, not yet."

Lorylyn scrunched up her face in sympathy. "I'm sure you'll start soon," she said, then reached out to open the gate leading into Jill's pool area.

"Hey, guys!" Jill rushed up the pool steps and ran up to them, giving each of them a hug. "Sorry I'm so wet!"

"It's okay!" Lorylyn said. "So tell us all about California! How did Todd end up going with you? Did anything happen between you guys? Are you dating now?"

"No," Jill sighed as she climbed back into the pool. Lorylyn and Hillary peeled off their shorts and tank tops and followed her. "But he was sooooo sweet the whole time!" Jill gushed, a giddy smile spreading across her face. "Oh my gosh, you guys, it was so awesome!"

"So what happened, anyway?" Hillary asked. "Your Aunt Marcy died? I remember her."

Jill's face fell. "Yeah. Ugh, I feel so bad, 'cause it's like, I was really, really upset about her death and everything, and my grandma...I don't know, it was just weird. But then it was so great at the same time 'cause of Todd. He just said everything right, and everybody thought he was my boyfriend, and we snuck out Friday night and went to UCLA and the beach..."

"Ahhh!" Lorylyn squealed. "That's so awesome! So nothing happened between you guys though?" She looked totally confused.

"No. He just told me he loves me, like he always does. But he's just joking around," Jill said quickly, wanting them to disagree and tell her it must mean he liked her.

"I doubt it!" Lorylyn said. "He totally wants you, Jill!"

Jill grinned happily.

"So how'd he end up going with you, anyway?"

"Well, he was just over here swimming when we found out," Jill said. "And my mom asked me if I wanted to take a friend, and he was like, 'I'll go.' "

"Ahhh!" Lorylyn squealed again. "Oh my gosh, Jill, he so likes you! Why would a guy just volunteer to fly all the way to California with a girl he didn't like?"

"He was just trying to be a good friend," Jill said. They didn't know about Todd's parents, so she couldn't tell them he'd wanted to get away and knew what it felt like to get shocking bad news.

"It sounds like more than friends to me," Lorylyn said, giving Jill a pointed look.

"I swear, nothing happened!" Jill giggled, raising her hands to ward off Lorylyn's look. But Lorylyn's perception of the whole thing was exactly what Jill had wanted to hear. She wondered what Hillary thought. Hillary had been strangely silent the whole time. Jill glanced at her.

"It sounds like it was fun," Hillary offered. "I can't believe that about your aunt though. Was your grandma upset?"

Jill frowned, not satisfied with Hillary's response. Why wouldn't Hill comment on her and Todd? Oh no...maybe Dirk had told Hillary Todd didn't like her, and that was why Hillary was keeping quiet...

"Yeah, she was upset, but I think she's okay," Jill said shortly. She'd been planning on telling them about her grandma and Marcy's fight, but now she felt betrayed, like Hillary was hiding something from her. The excitement she'd been feeling over how well the week had gone with Todd evaporated into nervous worry. What had Dirk told Hillary? This totally sucked! Now she felt like she was out of the loop, like Hillary and Dirk both knew how Todd felt about her and she didn't. It couldn't be good though, or Hillary would definitely tell her. What if Todd had told Dirk that he'd actually had an awful time and had just been trying to be nice? Or what if he'd been able to tell Jill liked him, and had told Dirk that? How humiliating...that had to be it though. Why else would Hillary be acting so weird?

"So, what's going on for Fourth of July?" Jill asked, not wanting to talk about Todd anymore with Hillary here.

"I don't know," Lorylyn said thoughtfully. "I haven't heard anything. Brady said Landon's not having a party though, 'cause his parents are using the cottage."

"We should get Bennett to have one," Jill said. "His yard is huge, and I bet you could see the fireworks over Lake Caldwell from there."

"Yeah, that'd be awesome!" Lorylyn said. "Good idea!"

"I can talk to Todd about it. And ask him to ask Bennett." It'd be a good excuse to call Todd. She'd been wondering when she should call him next or invite him to do something.

"Okay, awesome. Let me know. Brady and I would come."

"Hillary?" Jill asked, an irritated edge to her voice.

"Yeah, sounds fun." Hillary's voice was dull, and she looked off into the distance at nothing.

What the _hell_ is her deal? Jill wondered.

***

Hilton flew into Logan on Saturday afternoon and called Jill as soon as she got home.

"Hilton! Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you're home! I have so many stories for you!"

"Yay! Was Landon's party fun last weekend? What's going on tonight for Fourth of July?"

"We're going to Bennett's. I was gonna call you in like an hour. I didn't know what time you were supposed to get home. Do you wanna come over before Bennett's?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in like an hour."

"Okay, awesome!"

***

When Hilton got to Jill's, Jill was waiting in the driveway. Hilton jumped out of her dad's car and ran to hug Jill. "Bye, Dad!" she called. "I'll call you later tonight when I need a ride."

"You can stay here," Jill said.

"Can I stay at Jill's?"

"Sure," Hilton's dad said.

"Okay, thanks, Dad! See you tomorrow! Oh my gosh, Jill, you're so tan!"

"No I'm not! Look at you! How was your trip?"

Hilton sighed. "It was sooooo awesome. We went shopping, and our hotel was so nice, and I just stayed out on the beach all day. I got bored though. I missed you and Landon. But guess what?! He called me today already, to ask what I was doing tonight! So he's coming to Bennett's." She grinned happily, then widened her eyes. "He wanted me to come out on the lake for a while with his parents. But I was like, 'No, I have to go to Jill's!' " But can you believe that?! That he wanted me to go out with his parents?"

Jill grinned back. "Yeah, Hilton!"

They both giggled as they headed inside and up to Jill's room.

Jill shut the door behind them and climbed onto her bed, while Hilton dropped into the overstuffed blue chair and curled up comfortably.

"So? Tell me what I missed!" Hilton said.

***

Jill and Hilton were both hyper and giggly all throughout Bennett's party. As Jill had told Hilton all about her trip to California with Todd, Hilton had listened with her mouth hanging open in delighted astonishment, squealing and giggling from time to time when Jill told her something Todd had said or done.

"Holy shit, Jill!" she cried when Jill was finished. "I can't believe I missed all that! But it's probably actually good I was gone, 'cause if I was here I would've been the one to go with you...not that I wouldn't have wanted to go, of course, but you wouldn't have had all that time with Todd. That's so crazy! It's like I went on vacation at the perfect time, and it all happened for a reason or something!"

"Really? Do you think? 'Cause that's kinda how I felt too, but then I felt bad thinking that Aunt Marcy died just to help things work out between me and Todd. I felt really selfish or something."

Hilton waved her comment away. "No, I mean, she was gonna die sometime soon anyway. But it's like the exact _timing_ happened right when I was gone and when Todd was at your house...there's no way that was all a coincidence! Don't you believe in fate?"

Jill grinned and giggled. "Yeah, I want to."

Hilton smiled jubilantly. "See, it's all working out perfect!"

Now, at Bennett's, they were both still in extremely high spirits, and every time they looked at each other, they would both crack up laughing.

Lorylyn seemed really upbeat too, and she and Brady looked rock-solid and happy; they spent practically the whole night by each other, and they were so cute together, constantly teasing each other or whispering in each other's ears and laughing.

"They are soooo cute," Jill moaned to Hilton. "I'm so jealous."

"You guys are that cute too," Hilton whispered back. "You're just not actually together...yet." She grinned, and Jill grinned back, then looked over at Todd. He was playing basketball on Bennett's fully lit backyard half court with Dirk, Bennett, and Landon.

"So what's really going on with you and Landon?"

Hilton shrugged. "Whatever." She grinned. "I don't really know, don't really wanna know. I mean, I don't want it to be labeled anything yet. I'm just having fun. All we've done is make out."

"I know, but are you guys gonna go on a date or anything, do you think?"

"Probably. I think he wants to. But I'll wait for him to ask me and just see what happens."

Jill wished she felt that confident and relaxed about her situation with Todd. Hilton was so sure of herself and of Landon's attraction to her, but Jill was completely lost when it came to Todd's feelings for her. Hillary's weird behavior earlier this week had really discouraged her, but Hilton's excitement today had made her hopeful again.

Hillary's being weird tonight too, Jill thought now. She looked around and saw Hillary leaving the garage and heading toward them with a can of Coke. This was a non-alcoholic party because Bennett's parents and little brothers were inside. Hillary had been quiet all night, and she'd come with Dirk but hadn't spent much time with him. Jill suddenly remembered what Hilton had said about things getting weird between Dirk and Hillary since they'd had sex now, and she wondered if that was what had happened. Maybe that's why she was weird the other day, not 'cause she knew anything about if Todd likes me..., Jill thought.

"Hey, Hill," Jill said as Hillary joined them.

"Hey." Hillary's voice was glum as she popped open her Coke.

"Are you okay?" Jill asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Jill glanced at Hilton. She hadn't told her how Hillary had been acting, and she wished she could now.

Just then the first firework exploded over the lake and burst into view above Bennett's trees.

"Hey, they're starting!" Hilton grabbed Jill's arm and led her over to some blankets Bennett's mom had spread out in the grass earlier. "Watch," she whispered to Jill, her eyes on the boys. "I bet you anything they come sit by us."

Sure enough, Landon and Todd wrapped up their game and walked nonchalantly over to the girls. Landon sat beside Hilton, and Todd plopped down beside Jill. Unfortunately, Bennett had also followed them, and he sat on the other side of Todd. Jill sighed inwardly. Now it was less like two couples and more like a big group. Oh well...at least she was sitting by Todd.

Halfway through the fireworks, she looked over and noticed that Landon had his arm around Hilton's shoulders, and Hilton was leaning against him.

I wish Todd would put his arm around me! she thought, ever-conscious of his body next to hers and every little move he made that brought him even a fraction of an inch closer to her. She decided to change her position and stretched her legs out in front of her, purposely brushing Todd's thigh with her hand as she put her hands behind her. "Oops, sorry," she said.

"It's cool." Todd didn't take his eyes off the fireworks, and Jill sighed.

"Oooh, that one was cool," she said, desperate to get his attention in some way.

"That one's better," Todd said in an arrogant tone.

Jill giggled. "Whatever. Mine was so better."

"Please," he scoffed. "You don't even know. You suck at judging fireworks."

"Yeah?" Jill said. "Well you suck at life."

Without turning to look at her, Todd hooked his arm around her neck and squeezed.

Jill squealed and giggled. "Get off me!" she said.

"No," Todd said, squeezing tighter.

Jill stared at him, pretending to be disbelieving. "Fine," she said carelessly, crossing her arms and turning back to the fireworks, secretly elated because she'd just gotten exactly what she wanted. "Just stay there, whatever."

He did, for a few minutes, and even though she wasn't leaning against him like Hilton was against Landon, and his embrace was more joking than Landon's, Jill was thrilled, and her whole upper body tingled from his touch. Her natural instinct was to lean closer to him, but she resisted, sitting as still as she could with her arms crossed, acting as if his arm around her didn't affect her one way or the other.

***

Monday morning Jill and Lorylyn started driver's ed. Hillary and Dirk and Bennett were taking it too, but since their last names were all in the first half of the alphabet, they were in the nine to eleven session. Jill and Lorylyn's was from eleven to one. They had to go to class for three weeks, then they'd have their actual training in a car. Hilton and Todd had already taken driver's ed last fall, shortly after their fifteenth birthdays, but Jill hadn't been old enough yet. They had both said it was easy and nothing to worry about, but Jill was really nervous about the actual driving part.

"Hey, so do you think Hillary's acting weird lately?" Jill asked Lorylyn during their ten-minute break on Monday.

"Um...I don't know, really...why?" Lorylyn shoved some coins into a pop machine in the cafeteria.

"I don't know, I just thought last week when you guys came swimming she was being really weird...she barely said two words. And she was the same way at Bennett's." Jill had finally had a chance to mention Hillary's strange behavior to Hilton, and Hilton had said she'd noticed it at Bennett's too.

"Maybe she's freaked out over having sex," Hilton had said. "I don't think Dirk's blowing her off or anything though, 'cause he was acting normal I thought. I think it's just her."

"Yeah," Lorylyn said hesitantly, then looked around. They were alone. "Okay, please, please don't tell her I told you." Her big dark brown eyes pleaded with Jill's.

Jill's eyes widened. "I won't. Tell me what?" This sounded like something big.

"She thinks she might be pregnant," Lorylyn said quietly.

Jill's mouth dropped open. "WHAT?!"

"Sssshhh! Don't say anything! She freaked out last week at Landon's 'cause she said they didn't use a condom, and she was all worried 'cause they had sex like two weeks after she started her last period, so, you know, that's like the most likely time to get pregnant."

"Oh my gosh!"

"Yeah, and I told her it was probably nothing, 'cause she wasn't even late yet...but she still hasn't started her period. At least she hadn't yesterday. So now she's like over a week late."

"Oh my gosh." Jill couldn't believe it. She couldn't imagine that Hillary was actually pregnant. She felt bad, because she realized a small part of her wanted it to be true, just because it would be so huge. Jill, you're awful, stop it! she screamed at herself silently. "Has she said anything to Dirk about it yet?"

"No...I think she's waiting as long as she can, just like hoping it's not true," Lorylyn said, and Jill felt horrible. Forget how huge it would be...it would ruin Hillary's life. Jill offered up a silent prayer to God to please not let Hillary be pregnant.

As they walked back to driver's ed with their pops, Jill remembered how she'd been pissed at Hillary and snapped at her because she thought Hillary knew something about Todd's feelings for her. Now she felt even worse. You've got to stop thinking everything's about you! she scolded herself. You're so self-centered! You snapped at her and were shitty with her 'cause you thought it _obviously_ had to do with you and Todd...and she's been freaking out this whole time 'cause she thinks she's pregnant! You're such a bitch, Jill! Then, for a minute, she felt a little left out because Hillary hadn't even told her....But she didn't let it bother her, because she knew if the situation were reversed, she wouldn't have told Hillary either.

***

"Jill, phone!" Winnie yelled a week later. "It's a boy!" Jill could hear her giggle from all the way downstairs.

Jill rolled her eyes as she hit pause on her VCR remote. Great...whoever it was had to have heard that. She picked up her phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Jilly. So are we still on to sneak out tonight at midnight? I'll be there to meet you at our normal spot," Todd said in a furtive whisper. Jill heard Winnie gasp.

"Winnie, hang up!" she snapped, but broke into a laugh. "Todd! Now she's gonna go tell my mom!"

"I won't tell," Winnie said eagerly. "If you tell me all about it!"

"Winnie, _hang up_!"

"Fine, I'm gonna tell Mom right now."

"Whatever, it's not even happening!"

"Well, it better not be, or you're in trouble!" Winnie's voice was superior. "Unless you promise to tell me about it."

"Fine, I'll tell you."

"Really?"

"Really. BYE!"

The phone clicked down, and Jill sighed exasperatedly.

Todd laughed. "Awesome, so what are you gonna tell her? Are you gonna tell her we got it on? And what a good kisser I am?"

"Todd! She's eight! I'm gonna tell her we just took a walk or something."

"She won't believe you. She's not stupid. I'd already been to third base when I was eight."

"Yeah, in your last baseball game, maybe."

Todd laughed. "So anyway, what are you up to?"

"Watchin' my old tapes of _Friends_ from last season."

"Oh. Well I'm calling 'cause my mom wants you to come over for dinner."

"She does?"

"Yeah, well, she wants to get to know you better or something, I guess, since I went on a trip with you. And she said she at least owes you a dinner, 'cause your parents paid for my plane ticket. She wanted to pay for the ticket and I told her no like fifty times. But she says this is the least she can do. I know it's stupid, sorry. You don't have to come."

"No, I'll come," Jill said quickly. "It sounds fun. Is your dad gonna be there?"

"No, he actually went on a trip for work...finally. It's been a lot better around the house without all the tension and shit."

"Yeah, I bet. So when am I supposed to come?"

"Tonight, I guess, if you can. Like six?"

"Sure, that's fine."

"Okay, see ya then."

"See ya."

***

Five minutes later he called back.

"Okay, sorry, I guess we're coming to pick you up; my mom just yelled at me for not offering, 'cause I guess that was really rude or something." Todd sounded embarrassed, like he was about to kill his mom.

Jill giggled. "Okay, that's cool. Yeah though, you asshole. What were you thinking?"

"Oh, don't even start."

Jill giggled again. "Sorry. Okay, see ya tonight."

***

Jill was excited to be back at Todd's house. It had such a cozy, comfortable feel to it. The dining room was rustic looking, with an old wooden table and chairs. It was small but cutely and thoughtfully decorated, and Jill felt right at home. Todd's mom was as nice as she'd been before. She asked Jill lots of questions about Aunt Marcy and was very sympathetic, explaining that Todd hadn't really told her much about anything at all.

"You know Todd; he was just called and was like, 'Yeah, Mom, I need to go to California with Jill 'cause her aunt just died and Hilton's on vacation. So that's cool, right? Oh, but don't worry, you don't have to leave work, 'cause her mom's gonna give me a ride home to get clothes.' And I'm like, 'What?! I need some more details, Todd.' And he just goes, 'Oh, it's cool, don't worry, her parents are paying for my plane ticket.' And I was like, 'Now, Todd, are you sure they don't mind?' And he's getting all annoyed with me and saying, 'No, Mom! I said it's cool.' And then when you guys got back he was so vague about what actually happened there. I asked him where you went and he said, 'I don't know. LA, I guess.' " Mrs. Blake's tone was teasing, and she smiled at Jill.

Jill giggled. That was so funny. That sounded like exactly what Todd would say. She looked at Todd, who was rolling his eyes and buttering a roll.

This was great. Jill felt like she and Todd's mom got along really well, and she loved hanging out here and teaming up to give Todd a hard time. It made her wish more than ever that she were Todd's girlfriend so she could come over more often.

"It was so nice having you over, Jill," Mrs. Blake said as she dropped Jill off later. "We'll have to do it again sometime."

"Yeah, that sounds great!" Jill said excitedly.

"I'll have Todd give you a call."

"Okay!" Jill smiled wryly at Todd, knowing he was still half embarrassed by this whole situation.

"Don't forget, meet me at midnight at our normal spot," Todd said offhandedly as Jill closed the car door, then he made a face at her through the window.

Jill giggled, then turned and hurried into her house.

### chapter 8) landon's... hilton's 16th birthday

"Well, thanks again for dinner. I had a great time." Hilton smiled flirtatiously at Landon as she grabbed the handle to open the door of his Jeep.

"Oh, my pleasure." When Landon grinned at her, Hilton's heart raced. He was so hot with his blond hair that came almost to his ears and his blue-green eyes that reminded her of the ocean. He'd just gotten his left ear pierced too, and it was a total turn-on.

Turning to hide her giddy grin, Hilton pushed the door open.

"Hey, so what are you doing for your birthday tomorrow?" Landon asked.

"Um, my family's all going out to dinner, and my aunt and uncle are coming for it. My parents are making a big deal of it, 'cause I'm sixteen, you know. I'm excited, it should be a lot of fun. We're going to Logan, and then we're just gonna chill at my house all night and play games and stuff. And Jill's coming too."

"Oh, that sounds like fun."

"Yeah," Hilton said, grinning to herself. She could tell he wanted to be invited. But that'd make him too much her boyfriend, and she didn't want it to be like that yet. "Well, have a good night. I'll see you soon, I guess."

"Yeah, I'll give you a call on Saturday."

She knew he was disappointed she hadn't taken the bait and asked him to come tomorrow. "Bye, Landon."

"Bye. Happy birthday."

Hilton stepped out of the car and turned to wave, then walked through her garage and into her house. As soon as she was inside, she raced upstairs to her room to call Jill.

"So how was it?!" Jill asked eagerly.

"Oh my gosh, it was so awesome! And he was totally hinting for me to ask him to my party tomorrow, but I didn't."

"Why not?! You should've!"

"No, I don't know...I mean we're not even together or anything. But I can't believe he wanted to come! Aahh, I'm _so_ in love with him, Jill!" Hilton gushed. She looked at herself in her mirror and couldn't get the big giddy grin off her face. "I love being around him, and he's soooo hot, and I always have so much fun with him. But it's like he's soooo perfect, and I've always wanted to be with him, so it's like now that I almost have it, I kinda wanna draw it out, and make the anticipation last longer. You know? Does that make any sense? 'Cause, aahh, I'm having so much fun right now! I love being a tease!" She giggled, and Jill did too.

"Yeah, I understand. I definitely know what you mean about the anticipation being awesome...I just wish I knew the real thing was coming for me and Todd like you do for you and Landon!"

"Well, just think about it this way. It's like on TV shows, the best episodes are when you're waiting for the couple to get together, 'cause there's more suspense and stuff. And then once they do, it's not as exciting anymore. Like Ross and Rachel on _Friends_."

"Wow, that's so true! I never even thought of it that way."

"Yeah, so it's kinda the same in real life. 'Cause, I mean, I want Landon and all, but I don't want it to get boring with him. So I'm just enjoying this little game we're playing. There's more suspense, and I got bored with Reed so fast."

"Um, yeah, but I doubt that's gonna happen with Landon!"

"True...as long as he doesn't suck at messing around!"

Both girls broke into hysterical laughter.

"Oh my gosh, Jill, I'm so bad!"

"But it's so funny!"

"I know!"

"But I'm _sure_ Landon won't suck. I mean, come on. Just look at him. How could anyone that hot be bad?"

"Yeah, that's for sure!" Hilton was still laughing. "Yeah, I bet Landon's amazing. He's already a way better kisser."

Jill giggled again. "So did anything happen tonight?"

"No, we just went to dinner. But at least it was a real date finally!"

"Well, you went over to his house last weekend too."

"Yeah, but that only kinda counts as a real date. Well, I guess it counts. But I'm glad he finally took me out."

"Yeah, but when you were at his house you got to make out!"

"Oh, yeah, we did!" Both girls giggled some more.

Last week, the weekend after the Fourth of July, Landon had asked Hilton to come over, so she'd gone over to his house – his parents were at the lake cottage – and watched a movie on Friday night. They'd cuddled the whole time and made out for half an hour or so after the movie ended. It had by far been Hilton's best date ever. She loved being alone with him, but she'd been happy when he asked her to actually go out to Logan tonight, because it showed that he saw them as more than just make-out buddies or whatever. She'd been pretty sure he did, but she was glad he'd finally asked her on a real date, because it kind of took things to that next level, where they were dating, but not officially together.

"So how long do you think it'll be before he asks you to officially go out with him?" Jill asked.

"I don't know," Hilton said thoughtfully.

"Would you say no if it was really soon?"

"I don't know. I mean, obviously I wanna be with him, but I wanna draw it out a little longer. And besides the anticipation, I wanna make sure he really likes me a lot, you know? 'Cause I've liked him for forever, and he just started really liking me that way this summer. So I don't want it to be like, he kinda likes me, and I'm head-over-heels in love with him. I just wanna take it slow. Everything's so perfect right now. But if he asked, I don't know if I'd say no..."

***

On Saturday, Lorylyn's dad dropped her off at Jill's house at 3:00. As she was slamming the door to his Blazer, she heard another car door open.

"Lorylyn!" Hillary jumped out of her mom's car at the end of the driveway and ran up to meet Lorylyn. She glanced back as Lorylyn's dad backed out of the driveway, then grinned at Lorylyn, her eyes wide with excitement. "I started my period!" she whispered jubilantly.

"Yay!" Lorylyn cried, jumping up and down. "Oh, thank God, Hill!"

"I know! I can't believe it! I was three freaking weeks late! Aahh!" She hugged Lorylyn. "Oh my gosh, I feel so much better now!"

"Hey, guys, I'm out here!" Jill called as they let themselves in her front door.

Hillary and Lorylyn followed her voice to the kitchen.

"Oooohh, that looks good!" Hillary exclaimed when she saw the huge cake Jill was frosting. She grinned. She was so relieved to have finally started her period that she hadn't been able to stop smiling all day. It was like a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

Lorylyn grinned too and dipped her finger in the bowl of caramel icing on the counter. "Mmmmm," she moaned. "Excellent."

Jill beamed. "I know. I can't wait for tonight! I don't think Hilton has any idea."

"How'd her birthday party go yesterday?" Lorylyn asked as she licked more icing from her finger.

"Oh, it was really fun. Her parents are gonna take her car shopping next week. And I gave her my present yesterday so she wouldn't be suspicious or anything."

"Okay, well Brady should be here to pick us up at six. So that way we can get everything ready at Landon's before she gets there. Brady said Landon needs help decorating." Lorylyn rolled her eyes. "Hopeless boys."

The girls all giggled.

"And Dirk's coming with Todd and Bennett, right? And they'll be there by seven?" Jill asked.

"Yeah, basketball conditioning gets over at six-thirty. I can't believe they're practicing on a Saturday afternoon," Hillary said, rolling her eyes.

"Why don't they all just skip?" Lorylyn asked. "Landon is. And it's optional."

"Yeah, 'optional'...which really means 'highly recommended if you wanna play next year, unless you're already a star like Landon so it doesn't really matter,' " Hillary said, rolling her eyes again as she scooped her finger into the icing bowl. "Wow, Jill, this is awesome!"

"There's another cake still in the oven," Jill said. "Do you think two will be enough? 'Cause there's gonna be a lot of other food too."

"I'm sure it'll be fine," Lorylyn said just as the phone rang.

Jill grabbed it off the wall. "Hello?...Oh, hey, Hilton." She grinned at Hillary and Lorylyn, and they both covered their mouths to hide their giggles. "Oh my gosh, he did?! That's awesome!" Jill said, turning away from the girls. "Well, have fun, let me know how it is, okay?...All right, see ya later! Bye!" She hung up and burst out laughing. "Guess what, guys? Landon just invited her over to the lake cottage tonight!"

"Oh, did he now?" Hillary asked. "Well isn't that sweet?"

Jill giggled. "This is so awesome! She has no clue!"

***

By seven, they basically had everything ready. Jill had set out and arranged all the appetizers on the patio table, and she'd left the cakes in the kitchen to be cut later. She and Lorylyn and Hillary had wrapped the picnic table benches with crepe paper and hung streamers across the doorway going into Landon's house from the patio. There was a huge happy birthday sign hanging across the door as well, and they'd cut out big construction paper block letters to put on the stone wall that spelled out:

### HAPPY SWEET 16 HILTON!!!

Dirk, Todd, and Bennett had arrived, as well as Cassidy, Sam, Kat, Lindy, Andy, Brooke, Matt, Ashley, Amy, and several other people. Lorylyn had said Brady and Landon had discussed having a small party with just close friends, but it was hard to tell where to draw the line...such as with Brooke. Lorylyn said Landon thought if they didn't invite Brooke and Matt, Matt would wonder why he'd been dissed, and since Hilton herself hadn't had a personal problem with Brooke or anyone else, it was easier just to invite everyone.

Jill thought Hilton would like that better anyway; she probably wouldn't have liked Landon deciding which people should be invited to her party, and she wouldn't want anyone to feel upset or excluded.

"How are we gonna do this?" Lorylyn asked, surveying the setup to make sure everything was in place. "Like just wait back here in the yard for her?"

"Yeah, I think that'd work," Jill said. "Let's like, all be standing over by the patio so it'll take her a minute to see us when she first comes around. Oh, wait! She'll probably just go in the front door, 'cause she thinks it's just her and Landon!"

"Oh, shit! Okay, we have to tell Landon to meet her out there and bring her back here. 'Cause if she goes through the house, she'll see the cake and stuff before she sees us, and she'll miss the signs."

"Landon!" Jill called, waving him over.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, you have to bring Hilton around the house; you can't let her come through it. 'Cause it'll mess up the way we have stuff set up. We wanna be waiting back here and get everybody by the patio, and then shout happy birthday."

"All right, so should I like, meet her when her mom drops her off and bring her around here?"

"Yeah," Lorylyn said. "Oooh, tell her you're having a picnic!"

"Oooh, yeah," Jill agreed.

"Okay."

"Well, you should go wait for her soon. 'Cause what if she gets here a little early? You can't miss her!" Lorylyn pushed him toward the side of the house, and he obediently walked around to wait in the driveway.

"Okay, we have to get everybody over by the patio!" Lorylyn said.

They managed to corral everyone, which was already about seventy-five people, into the area around the patio and grill.

"Wait, how will we know when they're coming?" Jill asked suddenly, shooting Lorylyn a panicked look.

"I'll have Brady wait inside, and when he sees her car, he'll come back out." Lorylyn rushed to tell Brady, and he went in the patio door.

"Hey, try to stay quiet!" Lindy shouted. "So she doesn't hear us when she comes around!"

Jill was glad someone else had said it; she'd been scared everyone would ruin the surprise, but she didn't feel like she had enough authority to say that to so many older kids.

All of a sudden Brady rushed back out. "They're coming already!" he hissed.

Shit! Jill thought. She hoped Hilton hadn't heard Lindy yell. She looked at Lorylyn and they grinned at each other excitedly, then Jill turned her attention to the corner of the house and waited.

When Hilton and Landon came around the side of the house, Hilton was hitting at him and laughing.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HILTON!" everyone screamed.

Hilton whipped her head around to look, and her mouth dropped open. She stared for a second, then giggled and jumped up and down. "Yay!" she cried. She turned and gave Landon a tight hug, holding onto him for a minute, then she ran over to Jill and Lorylyn.

"I'm so excited!" she cried, hugging them both. "Thanks, you guys!" Then she turned and hugged Hillary. "Thanks, Hill! Yay! Were you guys all behind this? I know Landon didn't make these decorations!"

Jill grinned. Hilton must not have heard Lindy yell. The surprise had worked!

***

Later, Lorylyn caught up with Jill when Jill went inside to use the bathroom. "Hillary's not pregnant!" Lorylyn whispered. "She started her period today."

Jill touched her hand to her heart and rolled her wide eyes in relief. "Thank _goodness_."

"I know."

"She must feel so much better now. I did notice she was a lot more normal this afternoon at my house."

"Yeah."

"So how cute are Hilton and Landon tonight?" Jill asked with a grin.

"Oh, I know. They've been dancing for forever. They look adorable."

"Did Brady say anything about whether Landon's gonna ask her out tonight or anything?"

"No, he didn't say anything. That doesn't mean Landon's not gonna do it though."

"Yeah. I know Hilton's having a lot of fun just with the way things are right now, so it might be better if he didn't."

"Why, do you think she'd say no?!"

"Probably not." Jill shrugged. "I just don't think they should rush it."

***

"Landon, thank you so much for the party. I was so surprised. You're awesome," Hilton said, looking up into his eyes as they danced on the patio.

Landon grinned. "No problem. I wanted to make your sixteenth birthday special."

"You definitely did. I love it." She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him and pressed her body into his.

Landon's arms tightened around her waist, and Hilton let herself sink into the kiss. It was amazing...soft and tender....A happy contented feeling flowed through her body, all the way down to her toes.

As they pulled back from each other they shared a private smile.

"You're so gorgeous," Landon said.

"You're not too bad either."

"Gee, thanks. I still really like you though."

"I like you a little." Hilton grinned and giggled. "Okay, I guess I like you a lot."

"So will you go out with me again sometime?"

Hilton practically sighed with relief. She'd been scared he was going to ask her to be his girlfriend, and she still wasn't ready for that yet. "Of course I will."

"Maybe instead of just dinner we can go to a movie, or play miniature golf or something."

"Ooohh, that sounds good. 'Cause that way I get to spend more time with you."

"And who wouldn't want that?" Landon laughed.

They were swaying slowly back and forth now, in time with the music. Landon leaned down to kiss her briefly again, then Hilton closed her eyes and laid her head against his shoulder. Things were going so wonderfully with him, and she couldn't believe how he seemed to understand she wasn't ready to be an official couple yet. He was so perfect.

***

Lorylyn was in a great mood as they sat down to play spin the bottle. The surprise had worked, she was having a great time with Brady, and Hillary wasn't pregnant. It was the perfect night outside too, warm and clear and slightly breezy.

Brady reached over and ran his hand through her hair, and Lorylyn looked at him with a smile. She loved when he did things like that; it just felt like such a caring gesture, and he did it so naturally. They shared a quick kiss.

Landon was the first to spin. He got Lindy. Lorylyn noticed that Hilton giggled and clapped. Hilton was always so secure. Lorylyn hated when Brady kissed anyone else. Well, she decided, I guess it'd be okay if it was Lindy, 'cause she has a boyfriend, and she's so nice.

Lindy spun and the bottle landed on Andy, her boyfriend. They were sitting next to each other, and Andy turned and grabbed her, purposely making a show out of it. They kissed sloppily for a full ten seconds or so, and everyone cheered.

Lorylyn giggled. This wasn't too bad. It actually hadn't been the last few times Landon had had a party. Ever since New Year's Eve, though, she'd been reluctant to play spin the bottle, because so many bad memories were associated with it. But now, after a few funny, fairly non-eventful games this summer, she was starting not to dread playing so much anymore. And of course the Valentine's Day game had been amazing...when she and Brady had gotten back together...

Andy reached into the circle and spun. The bottle pointed to Brooke. Brooke kissed Matt on the cheek quickly before standing up to meet Andy. Their kiss was only a quick peck on the lips.

Lorylyn looked at Lindy. Lindy smiled happily at Brooke, then turned to kiss Andy again as he sat down. Lorylyn was glad Brooke was with Matt now. She wasn't sure if they were officially together, but at least Brooke had moved on from Brady. Lorylyn was now Brooke and Matt's biggest fan; she hoped they stayed together for the rest of high school.

All of a sudden, she felt Brady shift beside her and turned to look. He was standing up. Lorylyn whipped her head around to the middle of the circle, already knowing what she'd see. The bottle was pointing straight at Brady, and Brooke was walking across the circle toward him. Lorylyn suddenly felt like she might throw up.

Brady moved a couple steps forward to meet Brooke, and Brooke walked right up to him. She placed both hands on his face and kissed him hard. It only lasted for a second, but when Brooke pulled away, she flashed Brady a secretive smile that twisted Lorylyn's stomach in jealousy and hate. She didn't want any other girl smiling at her boyfriend like that! She glanced at Brady just in time to see a flicker of a smile before he looked down and licked his lips.

Lorylyn was boiling with anger. She couldn't believe it. He must still be attracted to Brooke! How could he smile back at her like that?! She couldn't believe this was happening. She didn't know what to do. She stared into the center of the circle as Brady spun the bottle, not really seeing anything.

Brady's spin landed on Hilton. Lorylyn looked up as Hilton stood up and walked purposefully toward him. The look on Hilton's face was cool and hard. She stopped in front of Brady, and as he leaned in to kiss her, she turned her head so he'd get her cheek.

Brady looked at her in surprise, and Lorylyn did too.

"Just 'cause somebody spins you doesn't mean you have to accept their kiss," Hilton said in a low voice. Lorylyn heard, but she wasn't sure anyone else did. They were too busy cheering for Hilton and making fun of Brady; they all thought Hilton had done it as a joke. Hilton gave Brady an icy stare, then knelt down to spin the bottle.

Lorylyn smiled a little. That had been awesome. Thank you, Hilton! she said silently. Then she looked over at Jill. Jill's eyebrows were raised, and she was laughing, her eyes on Hilton. There was no way Jill could've heard what Hilton said, but she'd seen her turn her cheek, and Lorylyn was glad to see her laughing.

Brady took his seat next to Lorylyn, and she automatically flinched away from him. She hugged her knees to her chest and refused to look his way.

"Hey, are you pissed?" he whispered, touching her arm and trying to look into her eyes.

"Hilton's right. You didn't have to kiss her," Lorylyn snapped quietly.

"Hon, it's just a game. You know I don't give a shit about Brooke."

"Yeah? Well then why'd you smile at her like that?" Just saying it made Lorylyn feel like she was going to cry.

"Like what?"

"You fucking smiled at her! Don't pretend like you don't know!" Lorylyn whispered heatedly, turning to glare at him now.

"I didn't mean to. I don't even remember doing it." Brady rubbed her arm and Lorylyn shrugged his hand off.

"Oh, so it was just such a natural reaction you didn't even realize you did it?" she hissed.

"No! Lor, why are you being like this? I thought we were past this whole Brooke thing."

"I have to go to the bathroom," Lorylyn said aloud. She stood up and walked quickly around the circle of spin the bottle players into the house.

Brady was right behind her as she went through the empty kitchen and down the hallway into the living room. "Lorylyn! Stop!"

She whirled to face him. "Why did you kiss her, Brady?"

"It's a game! You have to kiss whoever spins you!"

"No you don't! You could've said no! Did you wanna kiss her?"

"Of course not! But I thought it'd make a scene to say no, and I didn't think you'd care. I thought we were over this."

"Well I was over it 'cause nothing's happened! But you think I wanna see you kiss her? Come on, Brady!" Lorylyn suddenly burst into tears; she'd been trying to hold them back but couldn't anymore. "I still know what happened between you guys!" she sobbed. "And I hate it! I wanted that to be me! It makes me so jealous, Brady!" She looked away and covered her face with her hands.

Brady's arms went around her, and he pressed her head into his chest. Lorylyn didn't hug him back, but she didn't move away either.

"Sssshhh," Brady whispered. "It's okay, babe. I'm so sorry. I should've thought of that. I was stupid. I'm so sorry."

He tilted her head up and wiped the tears off her face. "You're so beautiful, Lorylyn. I love your eyes." He rubbed his thumb under them. "I love you. I love you so much. You have to trust me, okay? I wish you could be my first too. And I will never, ever kiss her again in spin the bottle, or any other girl if you don't want me to. We don't even have to play. I just want you to be happy, okay? And I want us to be okay."

His tone was soothing, and as Lorylyn looked into his eyes, she felt herself melting. He always knew the right things to say to help reassure her and make her feel better.

"Okay," she whispered. "All right. I forgive you." She reached up to hug him, burying her face in his shirt.

He rocked her from side to side and she held on tight, not wanting to let go. Brady kissed the top of her head and stroked her hair again, and Lorylyn smiled into his shirt. He made her feel so loved and safe.

"I love you too, Brady," she said, looking up and meeting his eyes. "Thank you. And we can still play spin the bottle, it's okay. I just don't want you to kiss her."

Brady leaned down and kissed her softly, drawing it out for several seconds. When he pulled back, she opened her eyes and looked up into his.

"I don't even wanna play," he said. "It's a waste of time, 'cause I'd rather just be kissing you the whole time." He grinned, and his black curl fell in front of his eye.

Lorylyn grinned back. That curl was one of the first things she'd ever noticed about him, and she loved it. "Well, good, 'cause I'd rather just be kissing you the whole time too." She tilted her lips up to meet his again, and as his mouth greedily devoured hers, she lost herself immediately and entirely in the kiss.

***

Brooke was delighted. She'd gotten to kiss Brady, and it'd obviously upset Lorylyn. She knew Lorylyn had seen the way she'd smiled at Brady, and she'd been ecstatic when he couldn't help smiling back at her a little. She knew Lorylyn had seen that too. She was dying to go in the house and see what was going on between Brady and Lorylyn now. They'd been gone for almost twenty minutes, so it must be a huge fight. She couldn't believe she'd be so lucky as for them to break up tonight, but you never knew. She'd barely been able to concentrate on spin the bottle since they went inside, because her back was to the house and she kept wanting to turn around to see if they were coming back yet.

All of a sudden Matt put his arm around her.

Damn it! she thought. Now it would be impossible to turn around and look back at the house.

"You look so hot tonight," Matt whispered through her hair.

"Thanks," Brooke said with a fake smile. She didn't look at him. Normally she loved it when he complimented her, but right now her mind was somewhere else.

"Okay, enough of this!" Landon called suddenly. "I wanna dance with the birthday girl." He pulled a grinning Hilton to her feet and led her off toward the patio. Everyone else started to scatter.

"What do you wanna do? Do you wanna dance?" Matt asked, his arm still around Brooke.

"Um...sure." If they danced, she'd be able to position herself so she could see the door.

She let Matt take her hand and lead her toward the patio. When he put his arms around her to start dancing, she pulled him close so she could look over his shoulder and he wouldn't notice her wandering eyes.

"Hey, so what's going on with us now?" Matt asked.

"What?" Brooke was irritated. Why couldn't he just shut up so she could concentrate on watching for Brady and Lorylyn?

"I mean, like, are we dating, or are we officially boyfriend and girlfriend, or what?"

Brooke rolled her eyes over his shoulder. "Um, dating, I guess."

"Well, we've been going out a lot, and I really like you, and I don't wanna date anyone else...so would you be my girlfriend?"

Brooke pulled back to look at him with a huge smile. She'd been expecting this sometime soon, and it actually helped her case with Brady, because she was hoping if she and Matt were officially a couple, it'd be more likely to make Brady jealous. As a matter of fact, she wanted it to look as though she and Matt were getting _really_ serious.

"I'd love to be your girlfriend," she said. "What took you so long to ask?" She gave him a teasing glare.

Matt laughed. "Sorry. I was just nervous. I was afraid you'd say no."

Brooke flipped her hair over her shoulder haughtily. "Well, I can understand why you'd be worried." Then she laughed. "But how could I ever say no to you, Matt Allan?" She tightened her grip around his neck and kissed him.

As they went back to dancing, Brooke saw Brady and Lorylyn coming out of the house. They were holding hands, and Lorylyn had a big, stupid-ass smile on her face. Brooke glared. What the fuck?! They were supposed to be fighting! Ugh! The night had been going perfectly...Matt had finally asked her out, and she'd had the unexpected good luck of being able to start a fight between Brady and Lorylyn...but now she'd been set back a step.

Oh well, she thought with a small smile. Brady's coming over tomorrow, and I'll be able to give him my great news about having a boyfriend...we'll see how he likes that one.

### chapter 9) last days of summer

Cheerleading practice started on the first Monday in August. It felt weird to be back in the practice mode again and to know school started in three weeks. Jill was both excited for school to start and sad summer was ending. Since Hilton's birthday party a couple weeks ago, Todd had come over one other time to go swimming, and she and Hilton and Todd had all gone tubing at Landon's lake one more time too. It had been such a fun summer, but school would be good because she'd get to see Todd more. They hadn't gotten their class schedules yet, and Jill was nervous about whether or not she'd have any classes with Todd. The one she most wanted to have with him was SRT, because that was probably the class in which she'd have the most chances to talk to him, since it was basically a study hall.

Jill was really excited for cheerleading, because this year she and her friends would be the oldest ones on the JV squad, plus they wouldn't really be cheering with Brooke anymore, since juniors were on varsity. Hilton spent the night at Jill's before the first day of practice, and it made Jill feel so cool to see all the freshman girls looking intimidated by her and Hilton as the two of them walked down the track. It was a complete one-eighty from last year, when Jill had come in feeling nervous and inferior and out of place. She thought she looked cute too, in her wife-beater and rolled-down boxer shorts, and she was pleased to see a couple of the freshmen looking dorky in baggy T-shirts and shorts like she had on the first day last year.

"Guess what?" Lorylyn said with a giggle as they stood around one of the benches on the football field waiting for practice to start. "Brady and I went to third base last night. Well, kinda. He did a little bit, and then I made him stop. But it was fun!" She giggled again and grinned, and Hilton, Hillary, and Jill all giggled with her. Talking about something like that made Jill feel older too; last year conversation like that would've shocked her.

Jill surveyed the freshmen. Some of them were really cute. She wondered if they'd start coming to Landon's parties. She kind of wanted them to, because she knew she'd love the feeling of showing them the ropes and being the older, more experienced one, but she also didn't want any of them butting in on her territory, or more specifically, Todd. She hadn't felt last year like she'd had any real competition for him, except maybe Blake, but suddenly she felt nervous about it. He'd been lifting all summer, and she'd definitely started to notice a difference. He looked less like a kid just out of junior high and more like a high school athlete.

The first two days of practice, Jill didn't talk to any of the freshmen much because all the cheerleaders were practicing together in one big squad, just as they had the first two days last year. On Wednesday, when they split up into varsity and JV, Jill found herself always trying to impress the younger girls.

"I hope Landon has another party soon," she said to Hilton as they got a drink in the middle of practice. She knew some of the freshman girls were around, and she wanted them to hear her talking about parties and boys. She knew it was stupid; Hilton didn't do it. But then Hilton hadn't felt insecure last year; she'd already been a part of the older crowd. Jill wanted other girls to look up to her now, like she had to Hilton and Brooke and Lindy last year.

"He said he's going to either this weekend or next weekend. Just depends when his parents wanna use the cottage."

"Awesome. Yeah, Todd said Bennett might have a little end-of-summer thing too." She was hoping if she name-dropped Todd enough, the freshmen would all assume he was her boyfriend and off-limits.

"That'd be fun! I can't believe summer's almost over."

"I know! I can't wait to be done with driver's ed though. I hate the driving part."

"Yeah, well you have scary people in your car." Hilton giggled. "I'd hate it too!"

Jill had completed three of her six driving sessions with an instructor. She thought she was doing pretty well, but she always got so nervous, and the other two people in her car were long-haired, punky-looking guys she didn't know very well, and she was intimidated by them because she was afraid they'd make fun of her if she made a mistake.

As they walked back to the track from the drinking fountain, the football players were jogging onto the field.

"Look, there's Landon!" Hilton squealed happily, pointing. She rolled her eyes at Jill. "He is _so_ hot. I can't wait to see him tonight."

Jill grinned back but felt a little bummed. She so wished Todd were her boyfriend...or that she was at least dating him like Hilton was dating Landon...

***

On Thursday Landon called Hilton and told her his parents were going to the cottage for the weekend, and he wanted her to come and go out on the boat with them on Saturday. She agreed, feeling excited and a tiny bit nervous. She'd never hung out with his parents a lot before; she'd met them several times but didn't know them well. She liked them though and thought it would be a blast.

"I heard you're going out on the lake with the Kesslers tomorrow," Lindy said with a grin the next day at practice. "I was out there wakeboarding last night and he's _so_ excited. He really wants you to have fun and he's all nervous you won't."

"Aww!" Hilton giggled. "He's so cute. Of course I'll have fun."

"Yeah, his parents are a blast," Lindy said, giving Hilton a mischievous smile. "You'll love it."

***

Hilton felt incredibly at ease from the moment she stepped onto the boat with Landon on Saturday afternoon. His parents were already on board. His mom was applying sunscreen and his dad was sitting at the wheel. She suddenly felt like she'd been here going out on their boat with them a million times before.

"Hi, Hilton!" Mrs. Kessler said brightly. She stood up to hug Hilton, and Hilton hugged her back, surprised.

"Hey, Mrs. Kessler."

Mrs. Kessler laughed and waved her hand. "What?! Call me Farah. And call him Rick." She motioned in the general direction of her husband.

"Hey, Hilton," Landon's dad said with a warm smile.

"Hi!" Hilton had always thought he looked like an older version of Landon and Corey. He was blond and well-built and tan and didn't look a day over thirty-five. His mom had short blonde hair and was tan and thin and looked even younger than his dad. They were a really good-looking couple.

"So are you gonna board or ski today?" Farah asked Hilton with a friendly smile as Landon's dad started to back the boat away from the dock.

"I don't know. I never have before. Do you?"

"Oh, hell no. The most I do is lay on a raft in the lake." She laughed, and Hilton did too.

"I would've thought you'd be really good!" Hilton said.

Farah snorted. "You would've thought wrong."

Hilton laughed again and leaned back against the bench comfortably as the boat picked up speed. She watched as Landon stood beside his dad, looking out over the lake. He looked delicious. She smiled happily, then pulled her tank top over her head and closed her eyes to soak in the sun a little. The boat sped up even more and she opened her eyes again as Landon sat down beside her.

His mom had finished applying her sunscreen and leaned forward to pop open a big red cooler. She removed a wine cooler and offered it to Hilton. "Drink?"

Hilton looked from Farah to the drink in surprise. Sure, his parents knew they drank at the parties, but she couldn't believe they were offering her a drink on the boat! "Um..."

"Take it," Farah said, placing it in Hilton's hand and reaching into the cooler for another one. "Beer, Rick?" She handed her husband and Landon each beers, then shut the cooler and sat back with her own wine cooler. "You can't go out on the lake without drinking," she said to Hilton with a smile as she twisted her cap off with the help of her towel.

"My mom's an alcoholic," Landon said with a sideways grin at Hilton from his seat next to her. Hilton looked at him and giggled, then shared a grin with his mom. This was great.

Rick slowed the boat to a stop. They were far away from the shore now. "Board or ski first?" he asked Landon.

"Whatever," Landon shrugged. "Hilton, are you gonna try?"

"Sure, I'll try."

"Which do you think would be easier for her, Dad?"

"Maybe boarding. It might be easier to control the board than the skis. Have you been snow skiing before?" he asked Hilton. She shook her head, and he looked back to Landon. "Well, actually though, if you guys wanna ski together, that might be really easy for her. Just use one rope for both of you, and she won't have to do a lot."

"All right," Landon said, grinning at Hilton.

She smiled back, excited. She wasn't sure exactly how it was going to work, but it sounded fun and like she'd maybe get to stand right up against Landon.

"Let me go once first and so I'll be warmed up." Landon stood up and helped his dad uncoil and untangle a long rope hooked to a knob near the back of the boat. Then he sat on the back of the boat and fastened his feet into the big shoe-like things on his skis, then he fell into the water.

Just like that day she'd been out here with Jill and Todd when Landon had wakeboarded, Hilton got a thrill out of watching him on the water. He was so good and it totally turned her on. Today, water-skiing, he seemed more serious and like he was concentrating harder than when he'd boarded, but he was still flashy and show-offy and could do crazy turns where he leaned sideways almost to the water as he twisted through the current behind the boat, sending walls of white water spraying up behind him. She absolutely loved it.

"He's so good," she said to his mom. "It's crazy! I don't know how anybody does it. I'm gonna fall on my face. Wait, do you fall on your face? Or do you fall backwards?"

His mom laughed. "That's why I'm sitting right here."

Landon skied for several minutes without falling, and finally his dad slowed the boat and Landon sank down into the water.

"Ready?" he called up to Hilton with his gorgeous grin when he swam closer to the boat. His wet blond hair sparkled in the sun. "Think you can handle it?"

"I'm ready!" Hilton jumped up from her seat. "Oh my gosh, this is gonna be hilarious. I'm gonna look like a total idiot." She giggled and took a life jacket Farah was handing her, then stepped to the back of the boat.

"Dad, where's the other skis?" Landon asked.

His dad stood up to grab a pair from the front of the boat. There were two pairs lying there. "You want Lindy's?" he called over his shoulder. Landon nodded, and his dad brought them to the back of the boat. Landon swam up and helped Hilton fasten her feet in.

"How are Lindy's different?" she asked.

"They're juniors," Landon laughed. "So they're just smaller. They're good skis though; you can do a lot of shit with them." He grinned. "My dad bought 'em 'cause Lindy's spent like every summer up here since we were little, but I think he was secretly hoping if we bought the smaller ones my mom would try it. Same thing with Lindy's wakeboard. But my mom's too smashed by the time we get out to the middle of the lake." He grinned at his mom.

Hilton laughed. "It took like five minutes to get out here!"

"My mom drinks beer for breakfast. Or wine coolers, I guess. She's been shhwaaasted since 8:00."

Farah shook her head at Hilton. "Easy to tell why, huh? They have no clue. If Rick ever thought he'd get me on skis or that board I don't think he even knows me. We've been married how long, and he doesn't catch on yet that it's never gonna happen?"

Hilton giggled. She loved Landon's parents.

"Okay, you're ready," Landon said. "Let's go!" He was grinning like an excited little boy.

Hilton plunged into the water and swam after Landon, who was pulling the rope back out behind the boat. It felt weird and awkward trying to maneuver through the water wearing the skis. She laughed at herself and how silly she probably looked. This was so fun.

When the rope was basically pulled straight out, Landon positioned her so he was behind her and her skis were inside his. She grinned into the water. She was very glad they were doing this together.

"Do I have to do anything special to be able to stand up?"

"Just wait in the water till the boat starts to pull you up. If you try to stand up too fast you won't make it. Just let the boat pull you and then if you get up just hold on. Once you get up it's easier. Getting up's kinda the hard part. If you fall I'll fall too though, don't worry. And make sure you keep your arms straight."

"Oh, okay, no pressure," Hilton giggled sarcastically. "If I fall you'll fall."

"No, no, I mean if you fall, I'll fall on purpose."

"Oh, okay." She giggled again, then tightened her grip on the triangular handle at the end of the rope and waited, having no idea what to expect but savoring the feel of Landon's body right there behind hers. Suddenly the boat started moving, and she held on even harder as she felt herself start to be pulled forward and up. But before they were even halfway out of the water she tumbled to the side.

Landon was laughing when she surfaced. He had fallen with her, as promised. He splashed her. "Nice one, all star."

"Shut up!" Hilton laughed. "I'm gonna get it this time!"

She got it on the third try, but she only lasted a couple seconds before she careened sideways into the water.

"I thought it was supposed to be easy once I got up!" she called to Landon, laughing.

"Well, not _easy_ ," he laughed back.

They tried a few more times and managed to stay up for about five minutes on their best attempt. Landon was a good coach and she loved the way he was guiding her, wanting her to like it and be successful at it.

"That was awesome! We did so good!" Hilton cried excitedly when they were in the water after their longest run. She'd fallen on a turn; she was feeling pretty confident now when they went straight.

Landon laughed. "It was pretty good," he said. "You're getting better." He grinned and splashed her. "Wanna try by yourself?"

"I don't know if I'm ready for that. Are you gonna wakeboard? I kinda wanna try that."

"Really?" Landon's eyes lit up like a little boy's again, and Hilton fell ten times more in love with him than she already was. "Yeah, I'll board! Do you wanna try it right now, or you want me to go first?"

"You go first." Hilton giggled. "I think I'm kinda sore. I'll watch you and pick up some moves. Then I'll try and I'll kick your freakin' ass at it."

Landon splashed her again, and Hilton laughed and lurched out of the way.

***

The Wednesday before school started, Jill, Hilton, Lorylyn, and Hillary went into the school after their morning practice to pick up their schedules. Hilton drove them around to the front parking lot from the track in her new car, which was actually a used 1995 Sunfire. It was turquoise, and Jill loved it. It reminded her of summer.

"I can't believe you got your license yesterday!" Jill said as they piled into Hilton's car.

"I know!" Hilton giggled and turned the key in the ignition. "I love my car!"

As she sped out of the back parking lot and took the side street around to the front of the school, Jill was suddenly more anxious than ever to get her license. She was glad she wasn't as young as Hillary and Lorylyn, who wouldn't get theirs until next July. Jill would have hers in just a few months...she'd be able to get it over Christmas break, two days before the new ninety-day law went into effect that would bar new licensees from driving with any passengers except an older relative for the first ninety days after getting their licenses. She was so glad she wouldn't have to do that!

They parked in front and went into the guidance office, where they were directed by Ms. Lappell, the secretary, to go to their counselors' offices. BC had eight counselors, two for each class. Mr. Jacobs had the first half of their class alphabetically, which included Hilton and Hillary, and Mrs. Weber had the second half, which included Jill and Lorylyn.

Jill glanced nervously at Lorylyn as they waited for Mrs. Weber to dig their schedules out of the file. So much of her year could be determined right here!

Hilton and Hillary came out of Mr. Jacobs' office just as Jill and Lorylyn left Mrs. Weber's, and they all four took their pieces of paper and went out in the hallway. Jill hesitantly looked at hers. Green Day: Advanced English 10, World Geography, Mythology (B Lunch), Algebra II. Gold Day: French I, Chemistry I, Computers (C Lunch), Student Resource Time. That didn't look too bad. She eagerly tried to look over her friends' shoulders.

"Yay, we have English together!" she said to Hilton. She hadn't had any friends in her English class at the beginning of last year, but luckily that's where she'd met Todd.

"Oh, when do you guys have it?" Lorylyn asked.

"First period green day."

"Damn! Hill, when do you have it?" Lorylyn peered at Hillary's schedule. "Oh, sweet, we're together!"

Jill held her schedule up between Hilton's and Lorylyn's. Hillary was on the other side of Lorylyn, and they all tried to compare at once.

"Yay, we all have French together! What are the chances of that?! There's like so many sections of French I!" Lorylyn cried.

Jill quickly looked to see the SRT room assignments. If she didn't have anybody good in her SRT, it was going to totally suck. "Hilton, we have SRT together again!"

"Are you serious? That freakin' rocks!" Hilton held up her hand for a high five. "Oh, good times, Jilly, good times." Hilton winked.

Jill grinned back at Hilton. Jilly was Todd's nickname for her, and Hilton had first heard him use it last year in SRT.

"Jill, why are you taking computers?" Lorylyn asked.

Hilton, still grinning, said, "You could also ask her, 'Who do you like?' and get the same answer."

Jill swatted at Hilton, but she couldn't suppress her smile. "Shut up!" she giggled.

"Oohhhhh," Lorylyn said with a knowing grin. "Well, you better hope you guys get in the same section! There's like tons of those."

When they finished comparing their schedules and left the school a few minutes later, Jill felt pretty good about the upcoming school year. She still had to find out what classes Todd had, but at least she knew she'd have friends in a lot of her classes. She had English with Hilton, Algebra II with Lorylyn, French with all three of the girls, chemistry with Hillary, and SRT with Hilton. She and Hilton had both signed up for mythology and children's literature, which were mainly junior and senior classes, but they had them opposite semesters. Jill was a little disappointed about that, but she was looking forward to both classes anyway because they sounded like a lot of fun. Her geography and computer classes could both have lots of freshmen in them, but she decided if computers sucked too much and Todd wasn't in her class, she'd just drop it. She was a little worried because none of the girls were in her lunch on green day, but both Hilton and Lorylyn had her lunch on gold day. Hopefully Todd would be in hers on green day. That would be sooo fun to sit with him at lunch! She wondered if it might actually happen.

***

Jill called Todd as soon as she got home to see if he'd gotten his schedule yet. He said he had basketball conditioning from two to four and was planning to pick it up then. Jill's afternoon practice ended at four too, so she invited him to come swimming afterwards so they could compare.

She couldn't believe her luck when she found out they had computers together.

"Oh, sweet. That class'll be such a blow-off," Todd said.

Unfortunately, though, they weren't in the same SRT section this year.

Oh well, though, Jill thought. They'd probably get a lot of time to talk in computers; hopefully they could sit by each other. And hopefully there wouldn't be anyone else either one of them knew in that class...it'd be so nice if it was just the two of them always talking and hanging out.

She looked at the rest of their schedules. "We have English and chem together too!" she exclaimed. It was even better than last year; she had three classes with him instead of two! _And_ they had lunch together both days! Jill grinned to herself. It should be a great year.

***

Friday was the first football game. It was home, and there was a dance afterwards. Last year there had only been dances after basketball games, but this year they were going to have them after football games too. Landon had told Hilton about it; he was on student council this year because his mom thought he needed something besides sports to put on his résumé for college since his grades weren't the best. Hilton had already told Jill they should run next year because of all the cool stuff they'd get to do, like plan the dances, and Jill thought it sounded fun. Maybe she could get Todd to run too.

At the dance, Jill was irritated by how cute all the freshman girls looked. They basically stood off by themselves, but some of the older guys were talking about how hot they were. Todd wasn't at the dance; he never came to dances, and Jill was half glad, because at least if he wasn't here he couldn't dance with any freshmen.

She and Hilton and Lorylyn had a fabulous time, as they always did at dances. Hillary sat in the commons with Dirk most of the time, except for on slow dances. Jill was worried about slow dances because of Hilton and Lorylyn and Hillary all having guys, but Bennett asked her to dance on the first slow song. On the second one, she happened to be standing in the cafeteria when the song came on. She saw Landon coming in to find Hilton and looked around awkwardly, hoping maybe Bennett or another guy she knew would ask her.

"Hey, Colby!" Landon called. "Come here!"

Jill didn't recognize the name and looked to see who it was.

Landon grabbed a kid around the neck and walked him over to Jill. "Hey, Jill, would you do me a favor and dance with Detter for me? He's on the freshman team, and he's kinda shy. I'm tryin' to help him meet some of the girls. Dude, this is Jill. She's a sophowhore. I'm hookin' you up, man."

Jill laughed. She'd never heard the "sophowhore" term before; it was pretty funny. "Dude, shut up, Landon!" she said.

She looked at Detter as she put her arms loosely around his neck. "Hey, I'm Jill." Which was his first name? she wondered. Detter or Colby?

"Hey," he said shyly. He was actually really cute, Jill thought. He was tan and had blue eyes and medium-length blond hair that was splayed messily in several different directions. He wasn't that much taller than Jill, probably only four or five inches, and he seemed really skinny. He looked young, obviously like a freshman, but that was okay. It was somehow part of his attractiveness. And she loved his name, whichever way it went. Colby Detter? Detter Colby? Either way, it had a cool ring to it, and it was unique.

Landon and Hilton talked to Detter/Colby and Jill throughout the song, and Jill was glad, because it meant she didn't have to try to think of things to say to him.

The next slow dance, nobody asked her to dance right away, so Jill went to the bathroom, acting like that was what she'd intended to do anyway. On the last slow song, Hilton and Landon and Lorylyn and Brady all stayed out in the commons, sitting on the cafeteria tables that had been moved out there to block kids from going into the rest of the school. Jill was glad they'd decided not to go back in, because it gave her people to talk to and she didn't have to worry about spending the last dance alone.

***

The next night Landon finally had another party. He hadn't been able to have one earlier, like Hilton had thought he would, because his parents decided to use the cottage both weekends, and Bennett hadn't had an end-of-summer thing either.

A few freshman boys came, all football players who'd probably been personally invited by Landon. Jill looked for Detter but didn't see him. That was his first name. She'd asked Hilton at the dance last night. Blake Bishop had brought three of the freshman cheerleaders with her, but other than that, it was the same crowd as always. Jill felt better. Todd hopefully wouldn't be interested in anyone who was friends with Blake, because they were probably all bitches. So there was really nothing to worry about. Jill hadn't even noticed him talking to Blake at all at any of the parties this summer, so that was a relief. Hopefully the two of them wouldn't have any classes together this year. Jill remembered how Todd had said at Landon's last-day-of-school party that she was a better kisser than Blake, and she grinned to herself.

After skinny-dipping and an uneventful game of spin the bottle, Jill, Lorylyn, and Hilton danced on the patio for a long time, reveling in their last weekend night of the summer.

Later they went to join Landon and Brady, who were drinking beers at the picnic table. Hilton and Lorylyn sat on Landon's and Brady's laps, and Jill sat on the table between the two couples. She was relieved when Todd and Bennett approached them; she hated feeling like a fifth wheel.

"Anyone wanna come with me to get another beer?" Todd asked.

"I'll go," Jill said quickly, hopping off the table and brushing off her butt.

As they walked up to the patio where the coolers were, Todd slung his arm around Jill's shoulders, and the thrill raced through her body that she got every time he touched her. She put her arm around his waist.

"It's been a pretty fun summer, huh?" Todd asked as they walked along companionably. Jill couldn't tell how drunk he was.

"Yeah, it's been awesome."

"Yeah, it's been pretty good. California was fun. We hung out a lot this summer, didn't we? And I'm all buff now too." He flexed the arm that wasn't around Jill, and she laughed and hit him lightly in the stomach. The hardness of it gave her a little thrill. He really had gotten buff. She could tell now that he was pretty wasted.

"Yeah, I guess we did hang out a lot."

"Yeah. It was cool. That was pretty funny in LA when people thought I was your boyfriend."

"Oh my gosh! You embarrassed me so bad!"

Todd grinned and laughed. "Yeah, that was pretty cool."

"Yeah, it was fabulous," Jill said sarcastically.

"Oh, whatever, don't even tell me you didn't have a good time. I hope you had a good time, anyway. 'Cause I have a lot of fun hangin' out with you, Jilly. You're my bestest girl friend."

Jill grinned at the ground as they approached the coolers. She'd been dying to hear him say that ever since the first time she saw _Dawson's Creek_ last winter and became obsessed with the idea of having a best friend who was a guy.

"Am I your bestest guy friend?" Todd asked as he bent down and grabbed two beers. He offered one to Jill, and she took it.

"Of course," she said, twisting the cap off in her shirt.

"Good." Todd slung his arm around her again as they started back toward the picnic table. "I hope I am. 'Cause you're really my best girl friend. And you're the only one who knows about my parents."

"I know. Thanks for telling me. I'm glad you trust me." She looked up at him.

"I do trust you. I love you, Jilly." He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, and Jill's felt a warmth flow through her body.

These were the moments she waited for...the ones just like this. Being with Todd, and him being flirty and touching her and saying he loved her in a way that she knew he meant it, even if it wasn't the same way she loved him. She loved his playful flirtatiousness, and she loved when he acted more vulnerable and showed his emotions, and tonight it was a mixture of both. At that moment, as they rejoined the group at the picnic table and she gazed at his long blond-brown hair and chocolate eyes and newly toned body and replayed everything he'd just said, she thought she was more in love with him than ever.

### sophomore year

### 1998-1999

### so caught up in all the sweet stuff

### chapter 1) back in the habit

When Tuesday arrived, Jill was up early and eager to go to school. She knew she'd probably be dead tired by the end of the week, but for now she was excited. She loved starting new classes and seeing who was in them, and she knew she had lots of classes with her friends. She was a little nervous about geography and mythology today, since she didn't know of anyone in either class, but at least she started the day in English with Hilton and Todd and ended it in Algebra II with Lorylyn. She could definitely get used to seeing Todd first hour. It'd be a good way to start the day.

She'd spent an hour picking out her outfit last night. Her mom had taken her shopping at the mall in Logan last week to get a bunch of new clothes for school, and Jill couldn't choose what to wear for the first day. Finally she'd picked out a new pair of jean shorts and a short-sleeved navy blue Abercrombie and Fitch shirt. Logan's mall had just gotten Abercrombie over the summer, and it was a huge deal. Brinkley's mall didn't have it yet, so Jill had begged her mom to take her to Logan, and she'd bought as much stuff there as her mom would let her, which had included two pairs of jeans, two short-sleeved shirts, and two long-sleeved shirts. She couldn't wait to show off her new wardrobe at school.

Hilton picked Jill up for school since it was on her way into Brinkley anyway, and it was a whole different experience to park in the front parking lot and come in those doors. Last year, one of Jill's parents had always dropped her off at the side door where there was a spot to pull up by the sidewalk. As they walked through the front doors and headed for their lockers in the sophomore hallways, Jill felt so much older, like she ruled a little piece of the school now. It was a great feeling.

She and Hilton went to each other's lockers and deposited their bags for cheerleading practice. They had come in Thursday between their morning and afternoon practices to decorate their lockers, and Jill's had pictures of the _Friends_ and _Dawson's Creek_ casts, cut-out blue and green letters spelling her name, and a mirror in the shape of a megaphone with BCHS Cheerleader painted in green and gold around the edges. She'd also cut out some random words from magazines and taped them up, such as _love_ , _boys_ , _friends_ , _laugh_ , _fun_ , _party_ , and _sophomore_. She checked her appearance quickly in the mirror and smoothed down her hair.

"Okay, I'm ready," she said to Hilton, slamming her locker shut.

They went to find Lorylyn. She was standing in the commons outside the cafeteria with Brady and Landon, who were sitting on the counter of the coat check room that was used for dances and other school events. The room was closed now, but it had one of those slide-up screens like concession stands had, and Brady and Landon were sitting on the part of the counter that was outside the screen.

"Hey, guys!" Hilton said as she and Jill approached.

As they stood and talked, Jill looked at everyone passing by. Lots of freshmen she didn't know, but lots of familiar faces too. She hadn't seen Todd yet. This was really fun, she decided, hanging out here like this in the morning. She hoped it'd become an every-morning thing, because she felt cool here with this group, and it was a good place to people-watch.

Their group lingered after the five-minute warning bell rang, and finally, with only a couple minutes till the final bell, they headed their separate ways. When Hilton and Jill entered English class, the room was nearly full, and they took two seats on the far side by the window.

"Hi, Jilly!" Todd yelled over the noisy room, waving at her from the opposite corner where he sat with a few guys. One was Nick Castle, the teacher's son. He'd gone to BJ, Jill's junior high, and had been on Homecoming Court last year with Paige Largo, his girlfriend since fifth grade.

Jill smiled and waved back at Todd, wishing she and Hilton had gotten here earlier so she could've sat by him. She hoped they didn't get stuck in the seats they were in now.

As it turned out, Mrs. Castle sat them alphabetically. Jill rolled her eyes. How annoying. Her last name was at the end of the alphabet, Hilton's was in the middle, and Todd's was at the beginning. But Mrs. Castle promised it'd only be for a couple weeks, and she said she usually gave a new seating chart about every three weeks after that.

That was good at least, Jill thought, because she'd probably at least get to sit by Todd or Hilton _sometime_ this year. Jill had heard Mrs. Castle was pretty cool, and a lot better than Mr. Grayson, her English teacher last year. So hopefully this would be a pretty good class.

***

Jill spent the whole eight-minute passing period after English walking with and talking to Hilton. She wasn't at all excited about going to geography. She hoped there'd at least be someone she was sort of friends with in there.

Finally, when the one-minute bell rang, Jill hurried to the social studies hallway and slipped in the door just as the bell rang. She slid into a seat in the back row and dropped her bag beside her desk, doing her best to look bored. She was imitating the way she'd seen Brooke slide into her cafeteria seat last year, because Brooke always exuded confidence and self-assurance. Jill was actually nervous about being in what could be a mostly freshman class and being the odd one out.

Their teacher walked in the room just then, carrying a clipboard. It was Mr. Leverett, the baseball coach.

"All right, hey, everybody, I'm Coach Leverett. Most of my players just call me Coach Lever, so you can too if you want. So I've made up a little seating chart, so I'm gonna go ahead and read that off so I can see who everybody is and take attendance. So over here in the front we have..."

Jill sighed and got ready to pick up her backpack and move. Coach Lever read off a few names. No one Jill knew.

"Jill Sherer."

Yes! she thought. Back row. She smiled as she moved over to her new seat. That was a plus, at least! And she knew this class would be a blow-off too.

Coach Lever moved and pointed at the desk next to Jill's in the back row. "Detter Colby."

Jill looked up in surprise. Detter stood up from a desk in the front corner and walked over to his new seat.

He smiled shyly when he saw Jill watching him. "Hey," he said.

"Hey! How's it goin'?"

"Um, pretty good, I guess."

"How's your first day of school?"

"Not too bad."

"What'd you have first period?"

"Um...English."

"Oh, do you have Grayson?" Jill asked eagerly.

Detter gave her a dubious look and nodded.

"Oh no! That sucks. He's awful. Well, I guess it's not that bad. It's actually kinda a blow-off. But he assigns all this reading and then doesn't even go over all of it, but sometimes there's pop quizzes. So you, like, never know what you need to read and stuff."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Yeah." Jill glanced around the room, not knowing what else to say. She was excited though. Detter was cute, and now she wasn't all by herself in geography.

***

Hilton and Hillary and Lorylyn all had A lunch, so Jill knew they would be going right to the cafeteria after second period. Jill walked slowly to mythology, which was kind of between the social studies and English hallways. The only other person she knew who had B lunch with her was Todd. She was really hoping she'd get to sit with him, and she was trying to figure out how fast she needed to get to the cafeteria. She wanted him to already be there so that he'd invite her over to sit with him, but she couldn't get there so late that his table would already be full. Her timing would have to be perfect. She was already nervous; lunch was in half an hour, in the middle of mythology.

She walked into the nearly empty classroom and chose a desk along the wall by the door. Todd had Algebra II this period, so he'd be a little closer to the cafeteria than her, but coming from the other direction. Maybe if she walked fast, she could actually meet up with him in the commons right outside...but then if she went too fast and missed him, she might get to the cafeteria before him...

"Hey, Jill!"

She blinked and turned at the sound of her name. Brooke was flashing her a grin as she sat down next to her. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm good," Jill said, surprised. She couldn't believe Brooke was sitting by her, after all that had happened last year with Lorylyn.

"Good. Are you having fun in cheerleading this year?"

"Yeah. I like not being the youngest."

"Hell yeah," Brooke said, nodding and grinning again. "It's awesome being a sophomore. I had a great time last year."

Yeah you did, Jill thought sarcastically. Ruining Lorylyn's life. But then Jill remembered what Hilton had said about Brooke getting played by Brady, and she felt a little sorry for her again. "So how's Matt?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

"He's good. We're officially together now. He asked me at Hilton's birthday party." Brooke smiled, and Jill thought she looked truly happy.

Good, Jill thought. I hope she is, 'cause that means she's definitely over Brady. "Aww, that's awesome! Congratulations," she said aloud.

"Thanks!"

Class started then, and they got to keep the seats they were in. Ms. Kirkwood didn't even say anything about a seating chart, and Jill could tell right away she was going to love both Ms. Kirkwood and the class. She didn't know much about mythology but had always found it fascinating, and as Ms. Kirkwood briefly went over the syllabus and the things they would cover, Jill was already caught up in the subject. Ms. Kirkwood was young, probably mid-twenties, with shoulder-length reddish-brown hair. She was really pretty, and she seemed so laid-back and fun. So far, this was definitely the best class of the day in terms of the curriculum.

When the bell rang for lunch, Jill hurried for the door, then decided she needed to slow down a little to make sure Todd beat her.

"Hey," Brooke said. "Do you wanna sit with us? I know Ashley and Amy are in this lunch, and we're gonna sit with Kayley and Madison and Shelly." Ashley and Amy were juniors, both cheerleaders Jill knew from last year. Amy was also on the gymnastics team. Kayley, Madison, and Shelly were senior cheerleaders. Jill knew who they were but didn't really know them; they'd been on varsity last year and she'd never really cheered with them.

"Um...yeah, sure." Jill felt bummed; she'd really been hoping to sit with Todd. But now at least she knew she had people to sit with, and that group of girls was way better than random people. Plus, if Todd invited her to sit with him, she still could...

When Jill and Brooke walked into the cafeteria, Kayley and Ashley waved them over from a round center table. It was right next to the table where Jill had sat first semester last year. As she followed Brooke, Jill's eyes darted around the large room, looking for Todd. Suddenly she saw him; he'd been right in front of her the whole time. He was at a round table catty-cornered from the one where Kayley and Ashley sat. His table was already filled with baseball players, mostly older guys. Jill was glad she'd found somewhere else to sit. And at least they'd be close!

She tried to catch his eye, but he was busy talking. She sat down at her table and made some small talk with the other girls about the first day of classes, but she had a feeling she wouldn't really talk much at this table. They were all on the varsity squad together, and they'd have all kinds of stories and things going on Jill wouldn't know about. She glanced around to see if there was anyone else she knew. She saw a table of freshman girls with a few cheerleaders at it. She smiled and waved at them, and they waved back. They looked eager and big-eyed, probably excited and kind of overwhelmed by the first day of high school, just like Jill had been last year.

Much to Jill's disappointment, her table and Todd's weren't dismissed to get their food at the same time. Her table did go at the same time as the freshman girls' though, and Jill smiled at the girl next to her as they grabbed trays.

"Hey, Kels, how's your first day?"

"It's crazy!" Kelsey said, widening her eyes at Jill and smiling. She was only about 5'1 and had long blonde hair. Jill thought she was adorable, and at practice she reminded Jill a lot of herself a year ago. "I love it though!"

"Yeah, my first day last year was so awesome," Jill said.

"Excuse me," Todd said loudly and arrogantly from behind her, and before she could turn around he'd tripped into her, causing her to bend forward over her tray and almost smack her head on the dessert shelf above the main selections. "Oops, sorry," he said, brushing his hair out of his eyes and not even looking at her. He reached for a cookie on the dessert shelf.

"Todd! Thanks a lot, jeez!" Jill smacked him in the shoulder, laughing and secretly thrilled.

"Oh, Jilly! Hey! Didn't even realize that was you." Todd grinned mischievously at her now from underneath his long hair. "Here you go." He placed his cookie on her tray.

Jill rolled her eyes at Kelsey, pretending to be annoyed. Kelsey grinned at her and raised her eyebrows. Jill just shook her head slightly and rolled her eyes again, but she loved that Todd was flirting with her in front of Kelsey, and she could tell Kelsey thought there was something going on between them.

Jill paid for her food, and as she and Kelsey were walking out, Todd called after her, "Hey, meet me at our normal spot at midnight tonight, okay?"

"Okay," Jill said sarcastically.

"Oh my gosh!" Kelsey cried, turning to Jill with a disbelieving grin. "That guy's so cute! What's that all about?!"

"Nothing, it's just a joke," Jill said, but she was grinning as she sat back down at her table.

***

"So guess who's in Brady's Spanish class?" Lorylyn said in a mimicky voice the next morning as she dragged herself into French, sticking her tongue out and rolling her eyes up into her head. Then she giggled.

"Hmmm...Brooke?" Jill asked in a serious tone, giving Lorylyn an innocent, questioning look.

"Uh, how'd you guess?" Lorylyn said in the same mimicky voice, then rolled her eyes and giggled again. As she sat down in the empty desk Jill and Hillary and Hilton had saved for her, she switched to her normal tone. "She walked into the room while I was standing out there with him just now."

"How fun." Jill rolled her eyes and looked at Hilton. Hilton stuck her finger down her throat and then pretended to gag and throw up. All the girls giggled.

"Hey, Jill, guess what?" Hillary asked. "Dirk's in our chem class too! And so him and Todd are gonna be lab partners, and then we can be partners. 'Cause I heard we get to pick. Right, Hilton? You had it yesterday? So Dirk has weight training first hour, so we have to try and hurry over there and get two tables together. 'Cause it's just groups of two right, not four like last year?"

Hilton nodded.

"Does Todd know?" Jill asked. " 'Cause I think he has art right now, so he's like closer than all of us. Maybe he can save the tables."

"Why's Todd in art?" Lorylyn asked with a frown.

Jill shrugged and rolled her eyes. "I don't know...he took history and geography both last year. So he never took art."

"I think he knows," Hillary said. "I think him and Dirk talked about it."

"Okay, good!" Jill said. She looked at Hilton. "Do you have to keep the tables you get the first day?"

"I don't know," Hilton said with a shrug. "We didn't do an experiment yet or anything, so you can probably change."

"Guess what!" Lorylyn said. "I have chemistry with Brady! He didn't take a science class his freshman year, so he's a year behind! I'm so excited! We're gonna be lab partners!" She giggled.

"Yeah, you have chemistry with Brady!" Hilton said, batting her eyelashes at Lorylyn.

Lorylyn giggled. "Shut up! You're right though. I do." She grinned, obviously happy about what Hilton had said.

Jill giggled, but her mind was already on her own chemistry class. She felt the same nervous feeling she'd felt yesterday about getting to lunch with the perfect timing. What if they weren't allowed to switch tables after today?! She really hoped she and Hill would get to sit by Dirk and Todd. She knew she wouldn't be able to concentrate at all during French now, because she was already excited and anxious about the rush through the hallways to the chem room. Not only that, but she absolutely _had_ to make sure she sat by Todd in computers, which meant she needed to make sure they walked together after chemistry.

Why don't you just ask him to wait for you after chem, Jill? she asked herself sarcastically, mentally picturing herself smacking her own head. He is your friend; all you have to do is ask him to wait for you and sit by you...it's not even a big deal. She smiled a little when she realized how much she was freaking out over such a small thing. But it really did matter a lot. Because if she didn't sit by Todd, and then got stuck with the seat she was in for the whole semester or even for a month, she knew it would ruin the class for her, and ruin her whole day today too. It was only the second day of school, and she was already back in the habit of judging her day as good or bad based on whether it was a good or bad day with Todd...

***

It turned out Jill had worried over nothing. When she and Hillary got to chem, Todd and Dirk were both there already and had saved a table for Hillary and Jill. The teacher didn't say anything about switching or keeping the same tables next time, so Jill thought they should probably hurry here again on Friday to make sure they got to sit together.

She'd also worried over nothing about walking to computers with Todd. The four of them all left the chemistry room together, and when Hillary and Dirk said they were headed to their lockers, Todd and Jill said goodbye to them and kept walking together.

"So, this class is gonna be a total blow-off," Todd said.

"What, computers?"

"Hell, yeah. We have Kraft."

"I know. I don't know anything about him though."

"He's the soccer and swimming coach, so he's just gonna be worried about that shit."

"Good. I hope it's a blow-off."

Jill scanned the computer lab as they entered and was pleased to see only a few familiar faces, none of which belonged to close friends. She wanted this to be her time with Todd that no one else could interrupt or share. It looked like most of the kids were freshmen.

Jill and Todd took two computers next to each other and sat in the swivel chairs waiting.

"So have you decided if you're gonna play basketball yet?" Jill asked.  
"Nah, I don't know. I didn't think I was, but now I might. For one more year. I don't know though."

"That's cool. It'd be fun if you played for one more year."

"Yeah, we'll see."

"So is the driving test hard? I have to take it Saturday." Jill wrinkled her nose.

"Nah, it's not bad at all; it just takes forever 'cause everybody takes it on the same day. Make sure you're here like at least half an hour before it's supposed to start. Then maybe you can be one of the first ones."

"Man! That means I have to get up at like 6:30! And we have an away game Friday night. That sucks."

"Yeah, but it's better than waiting in line for four hours or some shit. And that way you'll still be able to make the JV game." JV games were always on Saturday mornings. Jill would be excused from this one since it was the only day the driving test was administered, but she wanted to go; she hated missing any time with her friends.

"True. Hey, who are you sitting with at lunch today?"

"Um, I don't know. I know Bennett's in our lunch, but that's the only person I've talked to."

Jill felt a flutter of excitement. "Well, Lor and Brady and Hilton all have our lunch too. You should sit with us."

"Yeah, we might. That's cool."

Just then the bell rang, and Jill glanced around the classroom again. Still none of her or Todd's close friends. She didn't even know the people sitting on either side of them. As she turned to her computer to log on like Mr. Kraft was asking them to do, she smiled happily to herself.

### chapter 2) the email thing

"What, we have a freaking convo?!" Hilton said in SRT that afternoon. "Last year the convo was just for the freshmen!"

"I wonder if it's the whole school this year or what." Jill didn't mind the convocation, because now maybe she'd get to see Todd this period. He and Bennett had ended up sitting with them at lunch, and Jill's day was just about perfect so far.

"If we get the damn 'this is what we expect of you at BCHS' speech again this year, I'm gonna shoot myself," Hilton said dryly. "How annoying."

"No shit," Jill giggled. "They better not give that to us every year!" As they left their classroom and headed down the hallway, Jill scanned the crowd. "Look, there's some freshmen. It must be the whole school."

"Or maybe just us and them. Our class probably sucked it up so bad last year they wanna give us the speech again."

Jill giggled again.

Both girls scanned the students as they walked, but they didn't see any juniors or seniors, or any of their close friends. They chose a seat near the back of the auditorium and sat down. Jill was still scanning the crowd, hoping to see Todd as he came in and get his attention so he'd come sit by her. Finally she spotted him several rows in front of her, surrounded by a group of guys. She couldn't tell who they were from the backs of their heads, but she was at least glad he wasn't sitting with a girl.

The principal, Mr. Madden, suddenly tapped the microphone and began speaking. "Hi, everybody. Good afternoon. If you're in here, you should be a freshman or sophomore. We'll be calling the juniors and seniors down later. We have a couple of things on the agenda today. First we'll be explaining the new student email accounts. Then the sophomores can leave, and we'll talk to you freshmen a little bit about BCHS and our expectations for you here."

Hilton and Jill rolled their eyes at each other, then giggled.

"So," Mr. Madden continued. "Each of you will have, or actually already has, your own email account within the school's email system. You'll be able to use this to email your teachers and classmates for questions on and help with homework and other assignments. I'll show you a demonstration here on the screen in just a moment. Now, this is set up so that you'll log in to any computer in the building under your student ID, just like you do now, then be able to sign in to email using your email address and password, and then you can compose a new message to any student or faculty member by just typing in their name, or by looking them up in the directory. Here, let me show you..."

"This could be kinda cool," Jill whispered to Hilton. "We can email each other at school now!"

Hilton shrugged. "Maybe. If we can get on the computers in any of our classes."

"Well, I have class in the lab!"

"Lucky! I wish we had more computers in our SRT room. I wonder if Mrs. Sellers will let us get on them."

"I hope so!"

"Yeah, I hope SRT doesn't suck as bad as last year. I mean, it was fun passing notes and stuff, but we couldn't _do_ anything."

"I know!"

"Well," Hilton said, stretching her legs out in front of her and yawning, "maybe this email thing will change our whole school year." She looked sideways at Jill and flashed a wry smile, and both girls giggled again.

***

The next Thursday in computers, Jill had just finished her daily assignment and logged onto her email account when her computer beeped and a little red flag popped up in her inbox. She grinned. It was from Todd. Without looking at him, she opened it and read the message.

My birthdays on Sunday and my mom wants you to come to dinner w/ us on labor day for it

Jill's mouth dropped open. She glanced at Todd, but he was looking at his computer screen. So Jill hit the Reply button and typed back.

Who's all going? Where you going?

She heard Todd's computer beep. He was still for a moment, then he began typing. A few seconds later, another red flag popped up on her screen.

Bennett and you, we're going to olive garden i guess

Jill grinned. She knew it probably was his mom who'd made him ask her, but she didn't care. That meant his mom really did like her, and plus, she got to spend Todd's birthday with him now! Everyone at the restaurant would probably think they were a couple.

Sure, I can go.

She clicked on Send, then looked over at Todd with a laugh. He smiled back at her and rolled his eyes, probably embarrassed because his mom was making him ask. Jill giggled. She loved Todd's mom. This was going to be so much fun.

***

Todd's parents picked Jill up at five on Monday afternoon. They were going all the way to Logan, since Brinkley didn't have an Olive Garden. Todd had told Jill that things had seemed better between his parents the last month or so, and he was hoping they'd be able to work things out after all. It was the first time Jill had ever met Todd's dad or seen his parents together, and they seemed like any normal married couple to her. Todd's dad was friendly and funny, and Jill joked around with Todd's mom just as she had when she'd eaten dinner at Todd's house.

"So, Jill, Todd said you have lots of classes together this year?" Mrs. Blake asked during dinner.

"Yeah," Jill said as she twirled fettuccini around her fork, trying to get a good bite prepared. "We have like...three together, I think." She had pretended to have to think about it and count in her head, even though she could've said it in a split second.

"That's good. So how do you like your classes?"

"Oh, they're all right so far. I really like mythology a lot. And computers." Jill shot a sideways glance at Todd and laughed.

"Oh, yeah, computers is great," Todd said. "Me and Jill just sit there and email each other all the time."

"Hmm, sounds productive," Mr. Blake said with a laugh. "How are your classes, Tyler?"

"Oh, okay. It sounds like I should've taken computers though." Bennett laughed.

"When do you two turn sixteen?" Mr. Blake asked.

"November," Jill said, smiling happily. "I just took my driving test last weekend, and it was so easy." She'd been nervous as hell at the time, but now it felt good to minimize it.

"March for me," Bennett said.

"Sucks to be you, dude," Todd said, and Jill smiled. She loved how laid-back the conversation was with Todd's parents.

"So Bennett and Jill used to go out last year," Todd said suddenly, a mischievous hint to his voice.

Jill whirled around to look at him. Todd never looked up from his food. He continued shoveling it in his mouth, but Jill could see a smirk around the corners of his lips. She glared, knowing he was trying to get her back for making fun of him with his mom last time.

"Oh, really?" Todd's dad looked up with interest. "What went wrong?"

Jill looked at Bennett, completely humiliated. She had no idea what to say. Um, he wasn't even like a real boyfriend and I wasn't attracted to him; when he kissed me I just wanted to squirm away? Yeah, that'd sound great.

Bennett looked at Jill too, obviously just as embarrassed as she was.

"Jill liked me," Todd cut in. "That's why she broke up with him. But I mean, who can really blame her?" He finally looked up from his pasta, lifting his napkin off the table to wipe off his mouth and grinning broadly at them all.

"Dude, shut up," Bennett said with a laugh, just as Jill choked out, "Todd! Shut up! That's so not true!"

Jill looked at Todd's parents helplessly, hoping they couldn't tell how right on Todd's little joke had been. They were both smiling. Jill turned back to Todd with a glare. He was still grinning. "Yeah, well at least Tyler and I dated each other," she said. "You're the loser who didn't even have a girlfriend last year." She raised her eyebrows at him with a small satisfied grin curling the corners of her lips.

"Oh, she got you there, Todd," Mr. Blake said, smiling at Jill as he lifted a forkful of spaghetti to his mouth. "She definitely got you there."

***

"I can't believe you went out with Todd for his sixteenth birthday!" Lorylyn squealed in French the next morning. "That is so awesome! Did anything happen?"

"No, we were with his family! And Bennett!"

"Oh, well do you think anything's gonna happen? Seriously, you guys need to get together!"

"I know! But what am I supposed to do about it?"

"Do you think he'll ask you to the Homecoming dance?"

Jill groaned. "I don't even wanna think about that yet." She'd already been stressing over it for a couple weeks. She wanted to go with Todd even more than she had last year, and she was afraid of another horrible disappointment if she even started to think he might ask her. Last year when he'd asked her to go with Bennett and she'd thought he was going to ask her to go with him, it had been one of the worst moments of her freshman year.

"Well, I think you should ask him," Lorylyn said. "Before someone else does! He's hot; I bet a lot of girls wanna go with him."

"I know, I know," Jill moaned. "But there's no way I could ever ask him! I need to get someone to talk to him or something, and see if he's planning on asking anyone."

Lorylyn immediately turned and looked at Hillary.

Hillary grinned. "I'll ask Dirk. I'll let you know what I find out."

"Okay," Jill said, excited but panicked at the same time. She was afraid if Hillary asked Dirk, Dirk would tell Todd, and then he would know Jill liked him. Or what if he told Dirk he was already planning on asking someone else? It was too much to even think about. Jill promised herself she wouldn't worry about that unless it happened.

***

Two rooms down, Mrs. Martin was assigning partners for a Spanish II project. "I just went alphabetically by last names for this first project," she announced. "So we have Adams and Barnes, Bigsley and Bryant, Carlson and Cash..."

Brooke turned around and grinned at Brady. "How convenient," she said quietly. "I guess we'll have to go over to each other's houses to work, right?" Her smile widened.

"Yeah, we might have to do a little of that." Brady grinned back, then pushed his black curl away from his eye. "How's your boyfriend gonna like that?"

"Oh, he won't care," Brooke said innocently. "I mean, how can he; Mrs. Martin assigned the partners. It's not like we picked each other. Plus, he doesn't even know we ever hooked up. I think it's your girlfriend who might get mad."

"How can she get mad?" Brady pushed the curl away again. "Mrs. Martin assigned the partners."

They grinned at each other again, then Brooke turned back around in her seat before they attracted too much attention. How perfect. For once she was glad the teacher had assigned partners.

***

Brooke loved her SRT this year. It was with Mr. Grayson, and it was the first year where they were allowed to do pretty much whatever they wanted, including listen to headphones and talk or play cards quietly. Normally Brooke and Lindy sat in the corner of the room and talked or looked at magazines, but Lindy was absent today, so Brooke got on a computer in the back of the room. Because it was an English classroom, there were eight computers. Brooke picked the one on the end of the long table right by the wall and perpendicular to the others so that no one sitting next to her could read over her shoulder. And there was no room for anyone to stand behind her, because the wall was there. Matt sometimes sent her sexy emails, and she was hoping maybe he'd be online today so they could write back and forth and it wouldn't be a horribly boring ninety minutes.

She logged on to her email account and was pleased to see she had a red flag by her mailbox. New mail. Hopefully from Matt. She opened her inbox. There was one from Matt and one from Lindy. She read Lindy's first. Lindy said she'd been throwing up all morning but felt better now, and she hoped she hadn't missed anything exciting at school. She said for Brooke to call her if Brooke had any good stories. Brooke quickly replied, saying it had been a fairly boring day, but she had to work with Brady on a Spanish project. She made a sad face in the email, wanting Lindy to think she was upset about having to work with him and didn't want to do it. She smiled as she hit Send and closed out of the window. She was proud of herself for doing such a good job keeping her secret from Lindy.

As she opened Matt's email, she noticed he'd sent it last hour. All it said was, **Hey Brooke, miss you, can't wait to see you.** She'd already seen him since then, both at lunch and during passing period. She decided to look and see if he was online now. Just as she opened the Who's Online list, her computer beeped and a flag popped up. She smiled when she saw who it was from. Brady Cash. She closed out of Matt's message without replying and opened Brady's.

Hey sexy

Brooke grinned and quickly hit Reply.

Hey there, what's going on

She waited for the reply, and it came momentarily.

Not much, just thinkin about how hot you are. When you wanna get together to work on our project?

anytime this week. my parents usually go out to dinner on wednesdays, so tomorrow night maybe?

I don't know if I can wait that long. Damn just thinking about it's making me horny

Brooke grinned giddily, then looked around to make sure no one was watching her. She quickly typed back.

well maybe we should go somewhere then

Like where?

um, i dunno...like that one time we parked behind that pool supply place

That was in Logan. Too far. Let's go to the Brinkley mall after they close. Tonight?

sounds good to me.

Seriously???

hell yea.

Damn. I'm getting really turned on right now.

well lets go do it right now

That'd be awesome. Where?

um...someplace down by the gym.

Are you fuckin serious? Let's go. Meet me in the hallway on the far side of the varsity gym.

hell yea i'm serious. see you there.

Brooke couldn't believe it. This was incredible. She was so excited she was afraid she wouldn't be able to act casual when she went up to ask for a pass. She'd been half joking when she suggested it, because she hadn't expected Brady to take the bait. She quickly closed out of her email account and logged off her computer, hoping he was actually serious. She walked slowly up to Mr. Grayson's desk, taking deep breaths on the way to calm herself.

"Um, can I go to the bathroom? I don't feel well," she added, thinking that'd make it more plausible for her to be gone a long time.

Mr. Grayson quickly wrote out a pass and handed it to her without really even looking at her, then looked back down at his newspaper.

"Thanks," Brooke said pointlessly, then hurried to the door. Once she was out in the hallway, she walked as fast as she could toward the gym, which was about as far away in the school as you could get from her SRT room. She hoped Brady would be there before her. She'd picked the gym because the hallways around it were usually pretty deserted during class, and no SRT sections met down there that she knew of.

When she entered the hallway on the far side of the gym, Brady was standing against the wall about halfway down.

"I didn't think you were coming," he said with a grin. "What the hell took you so long?"

"My freaking SRT's all the way on the other side of the school!" Brooke protested as she walked up to him. "I told you I was coming."

"Well, I'm glad you did," Brady said, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her lightly back against the wall. He leaned in, his mouth hovering inches from hers. Brooke drew in her breath in anticipation. " 'Cause I'm really fuckin' turned on right now," he finished, then kissed her suddenly and forcefully, pinning her against the wall with his body.

Brooke gasped in delight. This was so hot. She loved the recklessness, the feeling that he wanted her right here, right now.

"Where do you wanna go?" she asked breathlessly.

"Right here's good." Brady kept kissing her.

"Brady!" she hissed as his hand snuck up her shirt. "We'll get caught!"

"No we won't. Nobody's down here." He backed an inch away from her, and his hand was suddenly down the front of her jeans. Brooke jerked and inhaled in surprise, then moaned in pleasure and leaned her head back against the wall. He kissed her again, and she used her knee to rub up and down the inside of his thigh.

All of a sudden the door at the far end of the hallway opened, and Brady stepped quickly back, yanking his hand out of her jeans. Brooke jumped away from the wall and tightened her ponytail, looking from Brady to Coach Stetson in panic as Coach Stetson came down the hallway toward them. She knew her face was flushed, and she licked her lips quickly, hoping they weren't obviously swollen.

"Well, that sounds good," Brady was saying. Brooke quickly flicked her eyes back to his. "I'm in a hurry to get a snack for Mr. DeHaven, but I'll call you tonight about working on that project. You think like nine?"

Brooke, flustered, took a second to respond. "Yeah, sure, nine. Call me."

Brady turned and casually walked toward Coach Stetson and the vending machines in the lobby at the end of the hallway, and Brooke turned and practically sprinted in the other direction, praying Coach Stetson wouldn't stop her. She held her pass by her side so he could clearly see she had one.

"Hey, Coach Stetson," she heard Brady say.

"Hey, Cash," Coach Stetson replied, and Brooke breathed a sigh of relief, but didn't really relax until she was at the end of the hallway. She turned back and saw that Coach Stetson had disappeared; he must've gone into the locker room. She rolled her eyes thankfully, then pushed open the door and headed back in the direction of her SRT classroom.

As she got farther away from the gym, she decided to stop in the bathroom and make sure she looked okay. Her ponytail was a little to one side, but her face was no longer flushed. Her skin still felt warm where Brady had touched her, and she grinned at herself in the mirror. That was definitely the most exciting thing she'd ever done at school. She couldn't wait till tonight when they got to finish what they'd started. It was sure to be extra hot now, because he'd be wanting her really badly.

She grinned at herself one last time, then turned on her heel and walked confidently out of the bathroom.

***

"Do you wanna finish this tonight?" Brady asked two weeks later. "I'm so freakin' bored out of my mind. Let's get on email."

Lorylyn glanced at the clock. There were only about five minutes left till the bell. "Okay," she said, closing her chem book and pushing her notebook away. "This lab next class is gonna suck."

"Yeah, no shit. You know it can't be good when the pre-lab takes a whole freaking class period. And if I hear her bitch one more time about how we have lunch in the middle of class and it shortens our fucking lab time..."

Lorylyn giggled. "Yeah, we're almost done anyway. Let's just do it tonight." She shoved her books in her bag and followed Brady to the computers in the back of the room. As she logged onto her email account, she glanced absentmindedly at Brady's screen. Her eyes immediately widened, and she felt jealously bubbling up in her throat. His whole inbox, as far down as she could see, was full of messages from Brooke. She tried to look closer. The most recent one said Reply 54. Lorylyn felt like she might throw up. "Why do you have so many emails from Brooke?" she snapped.

Brady looked up in surprise. "Oh, it's 'cause we're working on that Spanish project together."

"Fifty-four emails about a Spanish project?"

"Well, we're usually both on in SRT, so we just email back and forth. It's no big deal. Don't worry about it."

"I wish I could get on in SRT," Lorylyn said bitterly. She was so jealous she could barely handle it. Now every day while she was sitting in SRT being forced to be quiet, she'd know Brady was probably online talking to Brooke. She couldn't let that happen! What if he started liking Brooke again because they were talking so much? Lorylyn knew they'd been meeting a couple times a week to work on their project too, and she hated it. She had tried to act like she was fine with it, because she knew the partners had been assigned, so it wasn't like Brady had chosen Brooke, but still, it killed her to think of them spending so much time together...

"Yeah, well it's not like I'm on every day," Brady said dismissively, turning back to his computer.

Lorylyn was practically shaking. She wanted so badly to know what those emails from Brooke said. What the hell did they talk about when they were just emailing back and forth? Or what did they talk about when they were working on their project? Suddenly she had a horrible thought....What if they talked about her?! It seemed like they were getting to be pretty good friends again...

The bell rang then, and Lorylyn quickly grabbed her bag and left the room with Brady. She walked beside him silently, holding her backpack straps with both hands so he couldn't grab one. When they reached the hallway where they had to turn opposite ways to go to their lockers, Lorylyn let him kiss her quickly, then she practically ran to find Hilton and Jill.

"You guys!" she said, running up to them as soon as she spotted them at Jill's locker. "Oh my gosh. I was just in chem, and Brady got on his email, and he had _fifty-four_ emails from Brooke." Lorylyn glared. "I have to know what they say! I'm going crazy!"

Hilton's eyes widened, then suddenly they sparkled. "Ooohh, let's go to the library during SRT and try to get on his email account! Do you know his password?"

"No," Lorylyn said helplessly.

"Well, maybe we can guess it!"

Lorylyn smiled weakly, feeling sick to her stomach. "I'm almost scared. But I have to. I'm seriously going crazy not knowing what they say."

"Okay," Hilton said. "I have to go say hi to Landon real quick, but meet us in the library as soon as you can." She and Jill hurried off down the hallway.

Lorylyn followed slowly, stopping at her locker. She felt better now that they were going to go try to read the emails, but seeing that in chem had just been a huge slap in the face, and her spirits had completely sunk. Even if the emails were totally innocent, as Brady claimed, it was still going to drive her nuts knowing he and Brooke spent SRT emailing back and forth all the time.

By the time Lorylyn got to the library about five minutes into SRT, Hilton and Jill were already there waiting for her. They were both logged into computers in the back of the room, far away from the desk and any staff members. Lorylyn took the computer beside Hilton and quickly logged onto her account with her student ID.

"They can't tell if I get into Brady's email from my account, can they?" she asked, suddenly nervous. She glanced around the room to make sure the librarians were still at their desk up front.

"I doubt it," Hilton said. "I mean, it's not like someone's monitoring that all the time, just sitting there watching who's logged into their school accounts and who's logged into what email from what school account."

"Okay," Lorylyn said. "Well, I might not be able to figure out his password anyway."

She opened email and started trying things. She tried his middle name, his middle name with his baseball number after it, his first and last names with his number, then just the word baseball. She sighed. "It's probably something I don't even know about," she said, feeling hopeless.

"Ha, I got it!" Hilton said suddenly.

Lorylyn looked over in surprise. She hadn't even realized Hilton had been trying.

Hilton grinned at her. "It's your name."

Lorylyn's mouth dropped open. "What?"

Hilton logged out and did it again. "Aww, that's so cute!"

Lorylyn grinned, feeling a little bit better. She and Jill both leaned over Hilton's shoulder as Hilton opened Brady's inbox.

Lorylyn, expecting all the emails from Brooke to be right at the top, stared blankly. "Scroll down," she said, frowning. Hilton had already started to do so. "I thought they were right at the top, 'cause they show up alphabetical by first name."

"They're not there," Jill said as Hilton quickly scrolled back to the top. All three girls looked at each other suspiciously as the realization sank in.

"He deleted them," Lorylyn said slowly, stating what they'd all already figured out. She stared at the table in front of Hilton, not seeing anything. "I can't believe he deleted them. He must've done it as soon as he got to SRT."

"I can't believe he thought you were gonna look," Jill said, her eyes wide.

"Well, he was right. But I can't believe it! That must mean they were bad!" Lorylyn felt the jealousy in her throat again, as well as the scary sense of having no control over this situation. "And I can't even say anything to him about it, 'cause then he'll know I looked!"

"Damn it!" Hilton said. "I wish we could've gotten here sooner! He must've gotten on the computer right away! Fast bastard."

Lorylyn sank back in her chair, feeling like she might cry. "What should I do, you guys? 'Cause he obviously had something to hide, but there's nothing I can even do! He's obviously talking to her about me."

"Well, maybe he just deleted them 'cause he knew it upset you to see them, so he didn't want you to be upset next time you're there when he checks his email. Maybe he did it to be thoughtful or something," Jill said, but Lorylyn could tell Jill didn't even really believe her own words.

"You should just keep checking his account," Hilton said. "She'll write him again, and maybe you'll see it before he deletes it."

"Yeah," Lorylyn said, but then suddenly a new thought occurred to her. "But what if it does say something bad about me? I still can't do anything about it! 'Cause he'd know I checked his email!" Her voice was shaky, and she could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. "I never should've checked it at all!"

"Yeah you should've," Jill said. " 'Cause if you hadn't, you'd just be sitting in SRT right now going crazy about it. And that'd be just as bad as this. Now at least you know he deleted them. You know to be suspicious now."

"Yeah," Hilton agreed. "I don't know what to tell you though...this is a tough one. If it was me and Landon, and we were actually together, I'd kick his fucking ass." She laughed a little. "I think what you need to do is come up with some other way to get at the same issue, like without letting him know you checked his email. 'Cause if there's anything bad in the emails, it'll probably come up some other time too. Like just ask him if he ever talks to Brooke about you, and tell him that you don't mind him talking to her, but you really hope he doesn't talk about you, 'cause that'd make you feel weird. He should definitely understand that. If he's talking to her about you, then he's a fucking dick."

"Yeah, but I still just _hate_ it that they talk all the time during SRT and I'm never allowed to be on the computer then! So it's like she gets all this time with him that I don't."

"Oooh, I know," Hilton said with a grin. "You should send him a sexy email before SRT sometimes, or just say something to him in the hall right before that class about how you can't wait to hook up with him or something. 'Cause then he'll go into that class thinking about you, and even if he talks to her, he'll be thinking good stuff about you the whole time."

"Oooh, good idea!" Jill said.

Lorylyn smiled a little. "That is a good idea. Maybe I'll try that."

Just then Hilton's computer gave a familiar beep, and all three girls swiveled to stare at the screen. Their eyes widened. Brady had just received a new message from Brooke.

"What should we do?" Lorylyn asked.

"Oh, I'm opening it," Hilton said without hesitation, quickly double-clicking on it.

"Wait!" Lorylyn said too late. "Now when he logs on, he'll know we read it already!"

"No he won't," Hilton said. "Trust me." She leaned forward slightly to read the message, and Lorylyn and Jill looked over her shoulder again.

Wanna work on the project tonight?

Lorylyn and Jill sat back, and Lorylyn breathed a sigh of relief. She'd been expecting the worst, even though she wasn't really sure what that would be.

Hilton quickly closed out of Brooke's message and clicked on the Who's Online list. "Oh, shit," she giggled, pointing. Brady's name was listed twice.

"Oh, shit!" Lorylyn whispered anxiously. "We have to get off! What if he sees that and figures out I'm on his account?!"

Hilton clicked back on Brady's inbox, highlighting Brooke's message. Then she clicked on Message up at the top of the screen and scrolled down to Mark as Unread. When she clicked, a red flag popped up next to Brooke's message again, making it appear unopened.

Lorylyn smiled excitedly at Hilton. "How'd you know about that?"

"Hurry, close out of his account!" Jill said anxiously, looking around the library. She didn't want Brady to figure out Lorylyn had been on it.

Hilton signed off with a smile. "I had this email from Mrs. Castle about English that I read and didn't wanna forget about, so I was looking around to see if I could do that, and I figured out how," she said.

"So since that message from Brooke came up as new on this computer, do you think it did the same thing on the one he's on?" Jill asked nervously. "You don't think he could tell we were on, do you?"

"I don't think so," Hilton said. "We couldn't tell he was on till we looked at the Online list. I think it came up as a new message on both computers. Here, let's try." She logged in to her own email account, then reached for Jill's keyboard and logged in again. "Lorylyn, send me a message."

"I don't wanna get on, 'cause if Brady did realize he was logged in twice, and then he sees me online, he'll know it was me!"

"Oh, shit. Jill, sign into yours on Lorylyn's computer."

Jill walked around Hilton's chair and signed in to her own email account. Lorylyn opened a new message to Hilton and typed, **shit i hope this works**. Then she pressed Send and held her breath.

Jill's and Hilton's computers beeped simultaneously, and the new message from Jill popped up on Hilton's account on both computers. Lorylyn rolled her eyes and sank back against her chair in relief, one hand over her heart. "Oh, thank God."

Hilton opened the message, then peered at Jill's computer. "Oh, sweet, look. It still shows up as unread on her computer, even though I opened it on mine."

"Oh, yes, oh, yes," Lorylyn breathed. "Let's just pray he didn't notice his name was on the Online list twice."

The girls looked at each other, and suddenly they all burst out laughing.

"Oh my gosh," Hilton said, covering her mouth to try to stay quiet. "That was kinda fun!"

Lorylyn suddenly felt a rush at having gotten away with it. She laughed even harder. "Thanks, you guys. I feel better now. I wish we could hang out every day during SRT! At least then while Brady's emailing Brooke I'd be having fun too."

### chapter 3) the best time of our lives

"Ooh, I love this one!" Hilton said, holding up a long red dress. "This is so the one. I hope they have it in my size." She began browsing through the rack.

"So has Landon officially asked you to the dance yet?" Lorylyn asked as she walked from rack to rack, touching a dress here and there.

"Yeah, he asked me last week." Hilton smiled happily. "I think I'm kinda ready to make it official, you know? We've been dating for a long time now. He's just so perfect." She ducked her head to hide her silly smile.

"Jill, what about you?" Lorylyn asked. "When the hell is Todd gonna ask you?" She smiled.

Jill rolled her eyes. "He's probably not," she said. "I mean, I don't know of anyone else he wants to ask or anything, but he probably just won't go again, like last year." She looked at Hillary out of the corner of her eye, hoping Hillary had talked to Dirk like she'd said she would a few weeks ago.

Hilton saw Jill glance in Hillary's direction and cut in. "Hey, Hill, have you heard from Dirk if Todd's gonna ask anyone, or what?"

Jill sent a silent thank you Hilton's way, and Hilton smiled at her.

"Oh, shit! I completely forgot to ask! I'm so sorry, Jill. I'll ask him tonight, I promise."

Jill turned back to Hilton and rolled her eyes. How could Hillary forget?! This was so important to Jill, and Hillary didn't even seem to realize it. She's so caught up in her own freaking life she doesn't even have time to think about her friends, Jill thought bitterly. "It's fine, whenever," she mumbled. She was eager to know, but scared at the same time, because what if Todd wasn't planning on going, or he had someone else in mind to ask? Then any little bit of hope Jill had would be gone.

"Is there anyone else you wanna go with, Jill?" Lorylyn asked.

"Um..." Jill flashed a small smile at Hilton, who already knew the answer. "I'd go with Detter, I guess."

"Ahh!" Lorylyn squealed. "I knew it! You're always dancing with him at dances!"

"I've only danced with him like twice," Jill said, trying to downplay it. After the first dance when Landon had made her and Detter dance together, Jill had asked him to dance one other time, just a couple weeks ago. She talked to him a lot in geography, just about random, casual things, and she was pretty sure he wasn't dating anyone. So she'd seen him at the drinking fountain just as one of the slow songs had come on, and on impulse she'd grabbed his arm and said, "Come on, Detter, let's dance." She felt a lot more confident with him than she would with a cute guy her own age, just because he was younger. It had been a lot of fun dancing with him again, but it had just been a friendly dance, and they'd stood several inches apart with their arms loosely around each other. Jill still found him attractive, but she would never even consider dating him because she liked Todd way too much. If Todd wasn't going to the Homecoming dance though, she definitely wouldn't mind going with Detter.

"That'd be so cute!" Lorylyn said. "You should go with him if you don't go with Todd!"

"Yeah, well the dance is in two weeks," Jill said. "I just wish I knew if Todd was gonna ask me or not! But if he doesn't, then should I ask Detter? Ahhh, I don't know if I could do that!"

"Well, hopefully you won't have to," Hilton said. " 'Cause Todd will get his shit together and ask you."

Jill made a hopeful face at Hilton, then stopped as she spotted a long dark green silky dress with rhinestones outlining the halter V-neck. "Oh my gosh, you guys, look at this one! I love it!" She grabbed it off the rack and held it up, twirling from side to side. She could just imagine herself in this dress, with the low sexy V-neck, dancing with Todd. She closed her eyes for a moment as she pictured it, then smiled. "This is the one! Let's go try them on, Hilton!"

***

The next afternoon Jill called Hillary. "I was just wondering if you found out anything from Dirk, you know, about Todd," she said, so nervous for the answer that her heart was racing.

"Oh, well I asked him, and he said he had asked Todd awhile ago if he was going, and Todd said he probably would go but he didn't know yet. And that's all Dirk knew."

"So Todd didn't say who he was gonna ask or anything?"

"No, Dirk didn't really know anything. I can have him try to find out though, if you want."

"No, whatever, don't worry about it. It's not a big deal," Jill said with a sudden feeling of despair. It wasn't looking like it was going to work out to go with Todd. Hillary was worthless; shouldn't it be obvious Jill would want her to try to have Dirk find out, and maybe even hint to Todd that he should ask Jill? Why did she always get her hopes up like this? She'd told herself not to, and she hadn't realized until this moment just how much she had.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow then," Hillary said.

"Bye," Jill replied listlessly.

***

"So, do you have a date for the Homecoming dance yet?" Jill asked Detter Tuesday in geography. She'd decided she might as well try to feel things out here since it was seeming more and more hopeless with Todd.

"Yeah, I'm going with Arden Worthington," Detter said.

Jill tried to hide her surprise and disappointment. "Oh, that's cool," she said casually. She knew who Arden was; she was friends with some of the freshman cheerleaders. She was really pretty. Jill felt completely hopeless now. What the hell was she going to do if Todd didn't ask her?! She probably wouldn't even have a date. Even Bennett already had a date; he'd asked Kelsey, the freshman cheerleader. Jill thought it was really cute, and she hoped maybe they'd start dating, and it's not like she had any interest in Bennett other than just that he'd be someone she could go with as friends. But this was awful!

"Who are you going with?" Detter asked.

It took Jill a minute to even realize he'd spoken. She snapped out of her trance. "Oh, um, I don't know yet." Now she looked like a huge loser. Great.

"Aren't you like, dating Todd Blake?"

Jill looked at him in surprise. "Oh, no, we're just friends." She couldn't believe Detter had thought they were dating. That was awesome! She wondered if other people thought that too. Had Detter seen them walking in the halls, or at lunch? Or by the coat check counter in the morning? She was dying to know what had made him think that.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you guys were dating."

"Oh, no...no problem." Jill flashed him an awkward smile, then turned back to her notebook, her thoughts swirling.

***

"Bye!" Jill called to Lorylyn after school. "See you in a few minutes!" They'd walked to Jill's locker together after Algebra II, and Lorylyn was continuing on to her own locker to meet Brady.

Jill gripped her Algebra II book in one hand and spun her lock with the other one. The combination didn't work on the first try. "Damn it!" she mouthed, irritated. It hadn't been the greatest day, and she really just wanted to get the hell out of here. She wished she didn't have to go to cheerleading practice, but maybe Hillary would've heard something from Dirk. Probably not though, unless Dirk had volunteered the information, since Hillary probably wouldn't think to ask.

Jill glared at her locker as she spun the combination again and finally jerked the door open. She shoved her book onto the top shelf and put her backpack down to load her homework into it.

Where the hell is Hilton? she wondered as she gathered up her backpack again and reached into her locker for her cheerleading bag. She was usually here by now. Landon had to go straight to practice after school, so Hilton always met him for just a minute, then came to Jill's locker. Then they walked to Hilton's locker, and Hilton drove them around to the back parking lot for practice.

Jill slammed her locker door shut and glanced down the hallway to see if Hilton was coming yet. Instead she saw Todd.

He looks so hot, she thought as he approached with a wave and a grin. He was wearing black flip-flops with baggy khaki shorts and a long-sleeved green shirt that buttoned up the front. He had the sleeves rolled up so that they came down just below his elbows, and the shirt had thin black vertical stripes on it. His hair hung across his face and eyes as always. He looked casual in a preppy way and sexy and tan.

"Hey," Jill said, returning his smile and feeling the best she had all day. "What's up?"

Todd stopped in front of her and glanced around, suddenly looking a little nervous. He put his hands in his pockets. "Um, so I was just gonna see if you wanted to go to the dance with me?"

Jill stared at him as she broke into a grin. How cute was that?! He'd been nervous!

He glanced at his feet now, then back up at her, his hands still in his pockets. Jill suddenly noticed that he'd grown a couple inches since last year, and she had to look up a lot when she looked at him. He was probably at least six feet now.

"Of course I'll go with you," she said, then shoved him lightly in the shoulder. "What, did you think I was gonna say no?"

Todd shrugged and grinned at her. "I don't know. Shut up, okay? It's not like I ask girls to go to dances with me all the time."

"Yeah, no kidding, since you didn't even go last year," Jill said, then stuck her tongue out at him. She wanted to jump up and down. She was afraid all of a sudden she was going to wake up and this would have been a dream. "Wait," she said suspiciously as a thought occurred to her. "Why isn't Hilton here yet? Did she know you were coming to ask me?"

"Yeah, she knew, I think. Landon and Dirk made me do it today. I was gonna ask you anyway though. I was just gonna do it later this week or something."

"Jeez, make me wait till the last minute! What if I would've gotten asked by somebody else? Or what if I would've asked someone?" Jill stuck her nose in the air, trying to look haughty. She silently thanked Hilton and felt a little guilty about being so pissed at Hillary, because it sounded like maybe Hillary had said something else to Dirk after Jill had called her Sunday.

"I don't know, I guess I woulda been fucked then," Todd said, grinning and putting his arm around Jill's neck as they started walking down the hallway.

"Yep, I guess so."

Just then they passed Detter. Jill looked at him out of the corner of her eye, and he smiled a little and raised his eyebrows as if to say, Oh, you're not dating?

Jill smiled happily to herself. She loved making people wonder about her and Todd.

"Well, I'm glad you said yes," Todd said playfully as they reached the hallway where Jill would have to turn to walk down to the locker room. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." He squeezed her tighter for a second, then let go and ruffled her hair. "Bye, Jilly."

"Bye, Todd." Jill smiled and waved, then turned and walked down the hall as fast as she could without running.

As soon as she walked into the locker room, Hilton and Lorylyn and Hillary all squealed and ran up to hug her.

"I guess we don't even have to ask if he did it," Hilton said with a giggle. "We can tell just by looking at your face!"

Jill grinned even more widely and ducked her head, a little embarrassed.

"Yay, I'm so excited now!" Hilton cried. "We all have dates, and we can all sit at a table together! And Landon wants us to all go over there afterwards. To the lake cottage." She grinned suggestively at Jill. "How fun is that gonna be?!"

"Ahhh!" Jill squealed. "That's awesome! Yay! I'm so excited!" She hugged Hilton, then turned to hug Hillary and Lorylyn as well. "Thanks, you guys, for talking to Landon and Dirk."

Hilton shrugged. "He was gonna ask you anyway. He told Landon that a couple weeks ago. We just wanted to hurry him along a little." She smiled and hugged Jill again excitedly, bouncing a little. "See, isn't this awesome?! He was gonna ask you, so you really didn't even need our help!"

Jill smiled back giddily. She really couldn't believe it...he'd actually been planning to ask her. Everything was turning out just the way it was supposed to now...

***

"I can't believe Dirk and I are on Homecoming Court!" Hillary squealed a week later as the girls left French class.

The Princes and Princesses had been revealed on the morning announcements at the end of first period, and Jill couldn't believe it either. She'd been surprised when Hillary even made the top five after the first round of voting. Jill had voted for Hilton in the second round, and for her second pick, she'd debated between Hillary and Paige Largo, who'd been a Princess last year. She felt horrible even considering voting for Paige instead of Hillary, but she knew she'd be jealous if Hillary made the Court. Hillary had blown her off so many times in the last year, and she didn't think Hillary really deserved it. Mostly, she was upset that Hillary had made the top five and she hadn't. Finally she'd decided just to not vote for anyone else besides Hilton. She'd only voted for one boy too, because she didn't want to choose between Nick Castle, Paige's boyfriend, and Dirk. So she'd voted for Riley Russell, a really funny guy who'd been Hilton's partner on the Court last year. All the other people on the ballot had been ones she didn't know too well.

"It'll be so fun!" Hillary continued. "Me and Dirk and you and Riley! Too bad you can't walk with Landon."

"It's okay, I don't care," Hilton said. "He'll probably be with Lindy again."

"Yeah, so look who that leaves to be with Brady again," Lorylyn said irritably. "Surprise, surprise. How does she freaking get voted for?"

"Have you checked his email again?" Jill asked curiously.

Lorylyn glanced around anxiously. "Sshh!"

"Oh, sorry!"

"Yeah, I did check it once last week, but there was nothing there. He'd deleted everything again, even the one we saw that day in the library. And I can't get on from home 'cause we don't have Internet, and I can't really check it at school that much 'cause I have to be totally by myself when I do it."

"I can check it from home if you want me to," Hilton said.

"No, it's okay," Lorylyn sighed. "I just don't think I really wanna know. Plus, that project's over now, so at least even if they're still emailing each other, they're not meeting outside of school anymore. And Brady came over every night last week except one, and things are going good, so I'm just not gonna worry about it for now."

"Okay," Hilton said hesitantly, as if she wasn't sure that was the best decision. "Whatever you wanna do. But let me know if you want me to check it for you."

"Okay, thanks."

"So what are you wearing for the Court?" Hillary asked Hilton, and Jill rolled her eyes, not wanting to hear any more about how Hillary was a Princess.

"Umm..." Hilton said thoughtfully. "Probably like a long black skirt and heels, and then a cute shirt or something."

"I don't have a long black skirt. Do you think a short one is okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure that'd be cute."

"Aahhh!" Hillary giggled, clapping her hands. "Dirk and I are like the new Nick and Paige!"

Yeah, Jill thought sarcastically. They've been together five years, you've been together one; that's the same.

***

"Hey, Brooke, congrats on Homecoming Princess," a girl said the next day at lunch as she passed Brooke and Jill's table.

"Oh, thanks!" Brooke called with a sweet smile.

"I can't believe they paired you with Brady again," Ashley said, wrinkling her nose. "That totally sucks. Do you even talk to him anymore?"

"Oh, yeah, it's cool," Brooke said easily. "We just did a Spanish project together, so we've been talking more lately. We're getting along fine. It's no big deal. I figured we'd be paired together if we both made it, 'cause we have been every other year so far. I think it's just 'cause we look better together, and Lindy and Landon look better together, 'cause they're both blond."

Jill had to agree with that; Brady and Brooke looked perfect together, with their dark hair and dark eyes and the sexy chemistry that sizzled between them whenever they were near each other. Jill couldn't really explain what it was, because it wasn't always the same. When she first met them, it had been looks they shared; after Brady started dating Lorylyn, it had just been something in their body language. Jill didn't really know if anyone else saw it, and she didn't think it was anything Brady and Brooke did on purpose, but it was definitely there. Jill was jealous of it, and she'd always wished she had it with Todd. Sometimes, like the night they'd snuck out in California, or the day they'd hidden in the pantry together, she could feel a little bit of it with him, but not always.

"Is Matt jealous?" Ashley asked with a grin.

"No." Brooke smiled back. "He didn't wanna be a Prince 'cause he'd have to come right from the football field, and he'd be all sweaty and stuff. He said he wouldn't wanna do that to me, and he was glad I was with Brady again. He and Brady are like pretty good friends, so it's cool. Plus, it's not like it means anything. It's just Homecoming Court. We'll be together for like two seconds."

***

Yeah, it doesn't mean anything, Brooke thought on Friday night as she stood with her arm through Brady's, waiting to walk down the track. Except to the crowd, to the BC fanatics who come to all the games, or to the people who come back every year for Homecoming and see Brooke Carlson and Brady Cash together for the third year in a row. They'd probably be shocked to know we're both dating somebody else. They probably think we're so adorable, such a perfect couple.

It was nice to think that most of the crowd probably thought she and Brady were together, but it sucked to know that wasn't the actual truth. And Brooke did really like Matt; they had a great time together, he was hot and sweet, he didn't pressure her to have sex, and he was a great kisser. She couldn't really have asked for a better boyfriend. It's just that he wasn't Brady.

Because Brady hadn't had to pressure her for sex. She hadn't been able to keep her hands off him on their first date, and she'd wanted him more than she'd ever wanted a guy before. That obviously said something, right? She liked Matt, but Brady must be the one for her, because she had such better chemistry with him. And it's not like that's all they had. They'd been friends for two years, and they got along really well, and they had fun together. They were always teasing each other and flirting, and it was just so natural.

And Brady can't really love Lorylyn, right? Brooke thought now. 'Cause if he did, he wouldn't be sleeping with _me_. Brooke knew Brady and Lorylyn hadn't even come close to having sex yet; that's what he'd told her. He'd asked if she and Matt were having sex, and she'd said they weren't yet, wanting Brady to get jealous thinking they might do it soon.

She sighed now as Hilton and Riley started off down the track in front of her and Brady.

"What's wrong?" Brady asked quietly, leaning into her a little.

"Nothing," Brooke said. Thinking about everything was putting her in a bad mood, because she'd thought things were going well and that she was happy, but she was really no closer to getting Brady than she'd been last year at this time. She'd just realized it, and it left her feeling empty and unsure inside.

"Are you sure?"

Brooke nodded without looking at him. As their names were announced, they began walking, and Brooke gripped his arm a little tighter, needing to feel a closeness between them. As they approached the crowd, she fixed a smile on her face, tossed her long shiny brown hair over her shoulder, and stood up a little taller. At least she knew she looked good, and she might as well enjoy this moment with Brady while she could.

***

That night Lindy had a sleepover, just as she had last year on Homecoming weekend. A bunch of the boys snuck over, and they all went out by Lindy's pond to drink and play spin the bottle again. But Brady didn't come this year, because he'd gone to Bennett's with Lorylyn and Landon and the sophomores, and Brooke wasn't in the mood to be around Matt. Without Brady here, she felt empty and depressed and just wanted to go home and go to bed.

She excused herself from spin the bottle to use the bathroom, and when she got back to Lindy's house, she went straight to Lindy's room, threw herself on the bed, and burst into tears. How had everything gotten to be such a mess without her even realizing it till now? Dating Matt had helped for a while, because she was never just sitting at home thinking about Brady being with Lorylyn. She was always busy, and it helped keep her mind off it. But now she felt like she'd lost her focus, which had been to make Brady realize he should be with her. Dating Matt didn't seem to be making him jealous at all. She wondered if he'd be jealous if she and Matt were having sex. Maybe. Or maybe if she started having sex with Matt, then told Brady she didn't really feel the need to have sex with him anymore...maybe then he'd beg her to keep hooking up. But what if he didn't? Then she would've blown everything. It was a huge risk, and she didn't know what to do. But...if Brady didn't try to get her to keep hooking up, she could always wait a couple months, then break up with Matt and ask Brady to start hooking up again. She was sure he wouldn't turn her down. And plus, that'd make it seem to him like she was just using him for sex when she wasn't getting it anywhere else. That was good. That's what she wanted it to seem like. That way she wouldn't appear too vulnerable, and maybe if she really gave him a clear message that sex was all he meant to her, he'd realize he wanted to mean more.

She sat up and wiped at her eyes. She'd made her decision. It was the only option she could see. The next time she saw Brady, she'd tell him it was over. Or maybe she'd just email him.

She headed outside to find Matt. Wouldn't he be surprised tomorrow after the dance when he found out it was his lucky night?

***

At Bennett's, everyone was sitting around playing euchre.

"Hey, Jill, you said your dress was purple, right?" Todd asked. "That's what I told my mom when she went to order your corsage."

Jill stared at him, open-mouthed, and Todd burst out laughing.

"Oh, holy shit, you should see your face. That's great."

Jill glared. "Ha, ha, funny. You better be joking."

"I don't know, I guess you'll just have to wait and see."

Jill glared at him for another second, then looked down at the new hand she'd just been dealt.

"Hey, guys, I think we're gonna take off," Landon said. "Hilton has to be home by one."

Jill looked up. Landon and Hilton's game had just ended, and they were standing up and heading over to their coats. They'd been playing against Doug from Jill and Hilton's SRT last year, and his date for the dance, Rachel Winebrenner, another freshman cheerleader from BJ who was good friends with Kelsey. Kelsey and Rachel had been the Freshman Princesses on Homecoming Court tonight. Jill didn't ever see Doug this year and hadn't talked to him at all, but she knew he and Rachel had been going out for a few weeks now. She wondered if that was how Bennett had gotten hooked up with Kelsey for the dance.

"Yeah, I actually have to play in the morning," Bennett said, glancing at the clock. "I should probably be getting to bed." He yawned.

"Are you ready, Jill?" Hilton asked. Jill was spending the night at her house so they could go to the JV game together in the morning, since they had to cheer. Then they were going to Jill's house to get ready for the dance, and Lorylyn and Hillary were coming over too.

"Do you wanna finish this game real quick, dude?" Todd asked Bennett. He and Bennett were playing against Jill and Kelsey. "I can take Jill home," he said to Hilton. "If you guys wanna leave now."

"Sure, we can finish," Bennett said. "That's cool."

"I'm going to Hilton's," Jill said. "And she has to be home by one 'cause of the game."

"We'll make it," Todd said. "That's twenty minutes. Is that cool, Hilton?"

"Sure," Hilton said with a shrug, raising her eyebrows at Jill and giving her a small smile.

Jill turned so Todd couldn't see her and stuck her tongue out at Hilton.

Hilton giggled and put her hand on Landon's back as he walked out in front of her. "See you soon, Jill. Thanks, Bennett. See you tomorrow."

"Yep, see ya," Bennett called with a wave, looking at the cards in his hand. "Did everybody pass? Spades." He laid down the jack.

Jill groaned. "Damn it!" She glanced at the scorecards. She and Kelsey were down nine to eight. If Bennett and Todd won this hand, they'd win the game. And she didn't even have any trump.

Bennett played the ace of hearts next. Jill and Todd followed suit, and Jill prayed Kelsey didn't have any hearts. She didn't, and she took the trick with the left bower, the jack of clubs.

Damn! Jill thought. That probably meant Kelsey was all out of trump now too. They were screwed.

After hesitating a moment, as if trying to decide what card to play next, Kelsey broke into a grin and laid down the ace and king of spades. "Set! We win!" she yelled, lifting both hands to Jill for a high five.

Jill's mouth dropped open, and she smacked Kelsey's hands. "Holy shit! Nice job, Kels! What'd you _have_?" she asked Bennett, who had thrown his cards as far as he could.

"The fuckin' right, queen, and two outside aces," he said. "We only needed one fucking point to win. What are the fuckin' chances?" He grabbed Kelsey in a headlock and rubbed his knuckles across the top of her head.

She giggled hysterically. "Let me go!" she squealed.

Jill turned to Todd with a triumphant smile.

He shook his head at her as he stood up to grab his coat. He took hers too and dumped it over the top of her head.

Jill laughed as she stood up and slid her arms into the coat. "Oh, Todd, it's okay, it's just a game." She grinned and stepped aside as he lunged at her playfully.

"Kels, do you need a ride?" Jill asked.

"Um, no...my mom's coming to get me and Rachel."

"Okay, cool. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then!" Jill smiled happily at Kelsey, still reveling in their victory, then followed Todd upstairs and out to the driveway.

"So I'm excited for tomorrow," she said as Todd backed out of Bennett's driveway and put his truck into drive. This was the first time Jill had ridden with him, and she felt like they were on a date or something; it felt exciting and private and romantic. She couldn't wait till the dance tomorrow, and afterwards, at Landon's...

"Yeah, it'll be fun," Todd said. "So five, right? And Landon and Brady are driving?"

"Yeah. We should ride with Hilton and Landon. It'll be like Cedar Point," Jill said, smiling to herself in the dark.

"That's cool with me. Whatever. So we're like taking pictures at your house or something, then going to Logan?"

"Yeah, our reservations are at six, at Margherita's." Margherita's was a local Italian restaurant, one of Jill's favorite places. It was sort of upscale and fancy. "We talked about all this at lunch yesterday, Todd."

"I know. Just double-checking. It sounds good to me. I'll try to make it to your house on time," Todd said, then gave her a sideways grin.

"You better," Jill said, pretending to be mad. "And you better have a corsage that matches my dress."

"Well, yes, ma'am," Todd replied, matching Jill's tone. He pulled into Hilton's driveway. "See ya tomorrow then. Six, you said?"

Jill gave him a look, then climbed out of his truck. "See ya." She could tell Todd was laughing as she slammed the door, and she smiled to herself. She'd kind of been hoping for something to happen between them on the way to Hilton's, but it didn't really matter that it hadn't...because she'd have all night tomorrow with him too.

***

"Oh my gosh, I'm so nervous," Jill said to Hilton the next afternoon as she did a last-minute check of her makeup in her bathroom mirror. Hillary and Lorylyn were already downstairs greeting the boys, who had just arrived.

Hilton smiled into the mirror, then grabbed her mascara out of her makeup bag and added another layer. "Don't be. It's gonna be amazing."

"I know, it's just like, if this doesn't happen tonight...I don't have endless time with him, like you do with Landon, 'cause he's not my boyfriend, or it's not like tonight is just one of many dates. Like if tonight sucked for you and Landon, he'd still ask you out again next weekend. But it's like for me, it all depends on tonight. It all has to come together." She looked at Hilton anxiously.

Hilton put her arm around Jill's shoulders and squeezed, tilting her head so it was right next to Jill's. "It's gonna be the best time of our lives. Look how hot we are." She giggled, and Jill smiled back. "Okay, let's go!" Hilton said.

Jill glanced in the mirror one last time, then hurried out of the bathroom after Hilton. As they walked down the stairs to the foyer where everyone else was gathered, Jill held her dress up so she wouldn't step on it, and she felt like a princess in the long silky fabric. It was a fun feeling. She smiled at her parents, Winnie, and Hillary's parents, making sure not to look for Todd right away. When she finally did meet his eyes, he took her breath away. He was even more dressed up than he'd been at Aunt Marcy's viewing and funeral, and he looked gorgeous. She loved how his surfer haircut contrasted with his formal outfit.

"Hey, Todd." She went over and gave him a brief hug.

"Hey, Jilly." Todd held out a box.

Jill opened it and smiled, immediately looking up at Todd and sticking her tongue out at him. "You thought my dress was purple, huh?"

Todd laughed. "I can't believe you believed that. I'm not completely worthless. I can get a...flower thing that matches. What's it called? I knew yesterday."

"It's called a corsage. And I didn't believe it."

"You did too."

Jill just laughed and shook her head, then lifted the corsage out of the box. It was perfect...white flowers with silver trim and baby's breath.

"Hey, my mom wanted to know if your parents could take some pictures for her. She took some of me at my house, but she wants ones of us together. She wanted to come here, but I told her not to."

"Oh, you should've let her come! But I'll tell my parents to get doubles."

"Here's your boutonniere, Jill," Mrs. Sherer said, holding it out.

"Um, can you put it on him? I don't know how," Jill said, giggling.

Her mom laughed and pinned it on Todd's suit jacket. "I'm getting déjà vu from last year," she joked. She'd had to pin Bennett's on last year too.

"All right, let's get some pictures!" Jill's dad called, holding up his camera.

They spent several minutes taking pictures of each couple, all the girls together, all the boys together, the whole group, and then one of Jill with each girl.

"Okay, we've gotta go," Jill said finally. "Or we'll be late for our reservation."

"Bye, have fun!" Mrs. Sherer called as they all headed out the door and down the driveway to Landon's and Brady's cars. "Be careful!"

Jill was excited when Hilton climbed into the passenger seat of Landon's Jeep, because that meant she'd get to sit with Todd in the back. It was a pretty tight fit too, with all the random crap Landon had lying around, and she was thrilled that her knee was hitting up against Todd's.

Landon started the Jeep and the music blared, shocking Jill's ears. "Let's get this show on the road!" Landon said as he backed out of the driveway and started down the road. When he reached the corner, out of sight of Jill's house, he sped up and took it sharply, causing Jill and Hilton to laugh giddily.

Landon's driving and the loud music and the shared laughter with Hilton made Jill feel young and free and impulsively reckless, and she had the sudden urge to do something crazy tonight. Before, she'd always wanted something to happen with Todd, but she had never really even imagined it going beyond kissing. But tonight she wanted to stop being so innocent and do something that would really draw her closer to Todd, something she'd always remember. She wanted to look back on this night when she was older and think of it as a time when she'd been young and wild and fun-loving, and not afraid of anything.

Buoyed even higher by her newfound goal, she smiled happily as Landon rolled the windows down, enjoying the breeze on her face.

"We should take the doors off on the way back from dinner," Landon shouted over the music.

"Yeah!" Jill and Hilton yelled. Hilton turned and they grinned at each other. Jill could already tell this was going to be one of those nights where she wished every moment could be frozen in time. Hilton was right. She was already having the best time of her life.

***

When they arrived at the dance at 8:20, Jill was glad they were a little late so everyone could see her walk in with Todd. After dinner Landon had taken some back roads on the way back from Logan, and they'd done a little joyriding with the doors off the Jeep. Now Hilton and Jill walked through the parking lot between Landon and Todd, laughing hysterically every time they looked at each other.

"Where were you guys?!" Lorylyn asked when Jill, Hilton, Todd, and Landon arrived at their table.

"Yeah, we've been here like twenty minutes," Hillary said, looking at them questioningly.

"Oh, we just had a little fun on the way back," Hilton said, then looked at Jill. They both started giggling again.

"Come on, let's go get our pictures taken!" Hilton said once she managed to stop laughing. "So we can dance!"

As they walked out to the commons where the photographers were set up, Jill scanned the crowd for other people she knew. She saw Kelsey and Bennett sitting at a table with Doug and Rachel and a couple of Kelsey and Rachel's other friends. She caught Bennett's eye and waved. Then they passed Brooke and Lindy's table, and Jill noticed Brooke gazing at Brady over her cup of punch.

As Brady and Lorylyn passed, Brooke saw Jill watching her and quickly flashed a devilish smile, lifting her knuckle to wipe under her nose.

Caught off guard, Jill laughed. That was something Brooke hadn't done since last year. At Landon's Halloween party almost a year ago, Jill and Hilton and Brooke had drunk beer through their noses and then told Landon when he walked in on them that they'd been snorting crack. It was one of Jill's best memories from Landon's parties.

She grinned over her shoulder at Brooke as she continued walking and imitated Brooke's gesture. Brooke smiled back secretively, and Jill felt a sudden liking for her. She was in such a good mood, it was easy to like anyone right now.

***

Todd wasn't much of one for dancing on the fast songs, which Jill realized she probably should have guessed, since he never came to dances. It bummed her out a little, because Landon and Brady and Dirk all danced a little on the fast songs, and Todd would just go over to Bennett's table and talk to him and Doug. But it wasn't a big deal. Jill was having a great time dancing with her girlfriends and Kelsey and Rachel and a few of their friends, one of whom was Detter's date, Arden.

"I love your dress," Jill said to Arden when they were dancing next to each other. She wasn't being fake; it was one of the best dresses she'd seen tonight – long and white and slinky. Arden had dark hair and a great tan, and she looked fabulous. Jill didn't even feel an ounce of jealousy – even though she did think Detter looked really hot tonight – because in her opinion, Todd was the best possible date here, and he was hers.

Todd did find Jill on all the slow songs. Since he never came to regular dances, tonight was the first time she'd ever danced with him, and she loved it. It made her skin tingle just to be pressed against him, and she loved that he was quite a bit taller than her, even in her three-inch heels. It just felt so right to be in his arms; it was the perfect fit. A couple times he took big steps from side to side so that they moved in a goofy, playful circle, and then he would grip Jill's waist tighter and pull her back to him. When his hands slid a little lower on the back of her silky dress, she practically shivered. She wondered if he even realized how close his hands were to her butt. Probably not. He probably didn't think about her like that at all.

"Hey, Blake, watch those hands!" Landon called to Todd, and Todd slid them a little lower before raising them innocently and shaking them in the air. Jill looked up to see him grinning over her head at Landon, and she laughed and looked over her shoulder in Landon's direction.

Hilton raised her eyebrows sassily at Jill and lightly tapped Jill's arm with the back of her hand. They laughed, then Jill turned back to Todd.

"Jeez, Todd, I can't believe you're trying to touch my ass."

"Oh, whatever, you know you love it."

***

When the last dance came, Jill was bummed it was over, but also excited to get to Landon's. Who knew what could happen there...

As she and Todd swayed slowly to the music, Jill concentrated only on him and what it felt like to be in his arms, hoping she'd remember this exact feeling forever.

"Hey, thanks for coming with me," Todd said. "I've had a lot of fun." He smiled down at her.

"I have too. It's been awesome." Jill tightened her arms a little around his neck and was pleased when he responded by drawing her closer.

"I can't really imagine if I would've come with anyone else. I mean, you're definitely my bestest girl friend, Jilly."

"I know. You're my bestest boy friend."

"I better be. You better never ditch me for some other guy."

"Of course I won't, Todd. You'll always be the bestest to me."

"Good. You'll always be the bestest to me too. I love you, Jilly." He wrapped his arms around her waist as tightly as he could and kissed the top of her head.

Jill smiled into his shoulder, then looked up at him. "I love you too," she said sweetly, then stood on her toes to kiss his cheek.

Then Todd dipped her, catching her off balance, and she stumbled and almost fell, but Todd kept a hold of her and drew her back up. He was laughing, and Jill shook her head at him, laughing with him. Then he took her hand and lifted it so she would spin around in a circle.

"You're such a dork," Jill said as she put her arms back around his neck.

"I know, but that's why you love me."

"It is," Jill said, shrugging helplessly.

Todd laughed and moved his hands from her lower back, engulfing her in a bear hug and resting his chin on top of her head. Jill slid her arms around his waist as they stepped from side to side in time with the music. Because of the way he was hugging her, she couldn't even see; her face was smashed into his shirt. She closed her eyes and sighed contentedly, losing herself completely in his long arms and husky smell and the feel of his body.

***

"Jill!" Hilton whispered excitedly as they left the school, purposely falling a little behind the rest of the group. "Landon asked me to be his girlfriend! During the last dance!" She giggled. "I'm so excited!"

"Yay! That's awesome!" Jill cried, giving Hilton a quick hug.

"So how are things going with Todd?"

"Soooo good," Jill moaned, slumping over onto Hilton and rolling her eyes. "I want him so bad, Hilton!"

"You should try to make something happen tonight!"

"I don't know...I'm too shy."

"Oh, come on, Jill...what better chance are you gonna have than tonight?"

***

"Hey, dude," Landon said to Todd later as Todd stepped out of Landon's bathroom. Landon was waiting to go in. "Are you finally gonna make it happen tonight?" Landon grinned as he stepped into the bathroom and started to close the door.

"Make what happen?" Todd asked, confused.

Landon stared at him. "Um...something with Jill, man. _Anything_ , really. Don't you think it's about time?"

"What? No, it's not like that, dude. We're just friends."

"Well, that's a fuckin' mistake if you ask me." Landon raised his eyebrows. "She's hot, man. Are you seriously telling me you don't like her? What the fuck have you been doing all this time then?"

"Um, I like her, but not like that." Todd was starting to get defensive.

"You're actually serious?"

"Yeah. What, does everybody think I like her?"

"Um...yeah, dude."

Todd was taken aback. He hadn't realized anyone thought that. Everyone thought they were just really good friends, as far as he knew.

"Well, if you don't like her," Landon said, "you need to quit leading her on, man."

"I'm not leading her on. She feels the same way about it as me. She just wants to be friends."

Landon raised his eyebrows even higher, so that they were beneath his hair. "Dude, I don't think so." Then he shut the bathroom door.

Todd stood in the hallway for a moment, not ready to rejoin the others. Did people really think he liked Jill? It'd been one thing in California for people they didn't even know to think they were dating, but for all his friends and maybe her friends too and everyone else at school to think he liked her? Did Jill really think that too? He didn't think so...she hadn't done anything to imply that. They'd just gone to the dance together because neither of them was dating anybody else, and all their friends were dating each other, so it just seemed like they might as well go together....He wondered if he should ask Jill about it. That was the last thing he wanted to do. No, I don't need to do that, he decided. Landon's probably just wrong. If everybody thought I liked her, somebody would've said something before tonight. He shrugged it off and headed back to the living room, where everyone was watching a movie.

As he sat down on the floor, he noticed everyone else was cuddling. Lorylyn and Brady were in a recliner together, Hillary and Dirk were lying on the couch, and Hilton was sitting in an overstuffed chair with a footstool, which Landon had also been in before he went to the bathroom. Jill was in the other recliner by herself, stretched out with a blanket. Todd suddenly felt like he was missing out on something.

Before he could think too much and change his mind, he stood up and walked over to Jill's recliner. "Scoot over, Jilly," he said, squeezing himself into the chair next to her. Jill looked over in surprise, but she didn't say anything. She moved over to make room for him and gave him part of her blanket.

Todd sat there silently with his hands in his lap, completely uncomfortable but unsure of what to do. Why was he suddenly nervous? Normally he was totally confident around Jill. He'd never thought twice about doing something like putting his arm around her. Just do it, dude, he told himself. She doesn't think you like her. How many other times have you sat there with your arm around her? She'll think this is just like all those times.

He leaned away from her to lift his arm, then slid it around her shoulders, playfully pulling her head down. She giggled and swatted at him, then laid her head on his chest and continued looking at the TV.

See, he told himself, just like normal. But his heart was beating about a hundred miles an hour, and he was sure she could feel it through his lightweight T-shirt.

Landon came back from the bathroom just then, and Todd didn't miss the small twitch of his lips as he glanced in Todd's direction before rejoining Hilton.

Well, Todd told himself, at least you don't have to worry about kissing her, since all these people are out here. Just calm down, this is fine. Jill didn't seem to think anything out of the ordinary was going on; she looked totally comfortable and relaxed.

For the rest of the movie though, Todd couldn't concentrate at all. He just wanted it to be over, but he had no idea what was going to happen when it was.

When it finally ended, Landon stood up and stretched. "Well, you guys are welcome to stay up and do whatever, but I'm goin' to bed. There's two other bedrooms you can use besides mine, and then there's the couch out here, and the recliners. So make yourselves at home." He leaned down to Hilton and pulled her up, hugging her tightly and giving her a lingering kiss. "Do you want my bed, hon? I'll sleep on the floor."

"Hell yeah, I want your bed," Hilton said. "But you better not be fucking sleeping on the floor." She grinned at him, and Landon grinned back, giving everyone else a playful thumbs-up as he ran into the bedroom after Hilton.

Jill giggled, and her whole upper body moved against Todd's. He looked down at her, but she was looking at the hall where Hilton and Landon had disappeared.

"Well, we'll take one of the bedrooms," Brady said, standing up and reaching for Lorylyn's hand.

"Thank you, baby," she said with a giggle, taking it and stepping daintily to her feet. She let Brady lead her out of the room, their hands casually joined.

"We'll take the other one!" Hillary said quickly, jumping up and pulling Dirk with her.

"I guess we're taking the other one," Dirk said with a grin. "Night, kids."

"Night, man," Todd said.

"Night!" Jill called, then yawned, covering her mouth with her hand.

It was silent for a minute. Finally Todd said, "You can sleep on the couch if you want." He wasn't sure what else to do.

Jill yawned again and stretched a little. "I'm so comfortable. I don't know if I can get up. Can I just sleep here?" She turned her face into his shirt and pretended to be asleep. Then she giggled and climbed out of the chair. "Just kidding, sorry."

"Hey, I love having you on top of me," Todd said, but he felt awkward, and he was afraid she could tell his tone was different from what it would normally be.

She didn't seem to notice. "I know you do. Who wouldn't?" She grinned at him. "Hey, let's see if the couch folds out. I feel bad if you have to sleep in a chair." She examined the couch. "I don't think it does. Well, you can have it if you want. I don't want you to have no place to sleep."

"No, Jill, seriously, it's fine. I'm not gonna make you sleep on the floor or in a chair. Take the couch."

"Well, we can both sleep on it. Seriously." She looked at him. "That'd probably be more comfortable than the floor. There's only that one little blanket. And I slept in a recliner once, and it killed my neck and back."

Todd shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

"Okay." Jill lay down on the couch with her back to the wall and patted the empty space beside her. It actually did look like there'd be plenty of room for him; Jill was so small.

Todd joined her, lying with his back to her stomach. Suddenly Jill pushed down on his side and stood up, then jumped over him. "Hold on, we need the blanket!"

When she came back she lay in front of him, so that her back was to his stomach now.

"Your hair's all in my face now," Todd said.

"Oh, sorry." Jill reached her hand back and tried to brush it out of the way. She'd taken down the curly ponytail she'd had in at the dance, but the curls were still there, and her brush-away motion didn't help.

"It's okay," he said. It smelled good. He lifted his hand to move a big piece that was tickling his mouth. Then, not knowing what to do with his arm, he started to put it around her waist.

"Hold on," Jill said, sitting up suddenly. "I have a scrunchie." She pulled one of those girly hair things off her wrist and wrapped it quickly around her hair. "Okay." She lay back down.

Todd's arm was still hovering, and he dropped it around her waist. "Ooohhh, Jill," he moaned, pulling her closer. He felt the need to make a joke out of it, because otherwise he was going to get freaked out. Damn Landon! Why did he have to say that shit and fuck everything up?

Jill giggled, kicking at his legs. "I'm not comfortable," she said suddenly, flipping onto her back.

Dude, what the hell?! Todd thought. Now what am I supposed to do?! Her face was right there, and he was practically kissing her on the cheek because they were lying so close together. His heart was racing again. Her eyes were closed, but he was more conscious than ever of his arm around her stomach and her body right up against his. He had both legs as far against the back of the couch as he could get them, and it was getting uncomfortable as hell. Finally he had to relax them a little, and when he did, one knee fell naturally over Jill's leg. She didn't open her eyes, but Todd saw her move a little and knew she'd noticed.

Does she think I'm trying to hook up with her? He was panicking. He didn't even know what he wanted anymore. Maybe he should just kiss her. But then what if she was completely turned off or freaked out? Then everything would be weird between them.

Jill breathed deeply, and Todd's eyes flickered to her tight T-shirt. Damn, she did have a nice body. Okay, he was just going to do it. He raised his head a little so he could lean over and kiss her. She moved a little bit again, and he froze, staring at her closed eyes. He stayed that way for a moment, poised above her, then suddenly he dropped his head back beside hers. Fuck it! he thought. I can't do it. It's too weird!

***

At Lindy's, everyone was out by the pond for the second night in a row, but tonight they were playing drinking games. Brooke couldn't concentrate; she just wanted to do it with Matt and get it over with.

After playing games for about an hour, she stood up and yawned. "I'm going to bed. Matt, wanna come with me?"

Everyone whistled and cheered, and Brooke raised her eyebrows and grinned, not feeling it at all. "Come on, Matt," she said sweetly, reaching for his hand.

They walked inside holding hands, and Brooke led Matt to the guest bedroom. "Lindy said we can sleep in here."

She'd told Lindy she planned on having sex with Matt tonight, and Lindy had hugged her excitedly. Brooke knew Lindy was thinking she must really be over Brady now and that it'd be good for her to do this and move on completely.

As soon as Matt shut the door behind them, Brooke turned and kissed him with what she hoped he thought was hunger or passion. She ran her hands up and down his back, stepping backward toward the bed as they kissed. When they toppled onto the bed, Brooke rolled over and straddled Matt, peeling his shirt off as she kissed him some more.

"So are we really gonna do this?" Matt asked, surprised.

"Yep!" Brooke smiled and tried to make her tone sound upbeat.

"Oh, yes," he said with a grin, and then he pulled her face back down to his.

A few minutes later, Matt hovered over her, naked. "Are you sure you want to?" he asked.

"Of course I'm sure," Brooke responded, stroking his sweaty hair back from his face.

"I love you, Brooke. I really do." Then he looked down at her chest as he shoved inside her.

Brooke turned her head and rolled her eyes, holding onto his shoulder and making a half-ass attempt to move her body to match his short jerky thrusts. Holy shit, he's a virgin, she thought. Or else really fucking bad. This was just great.

And then it was over already. He rolled off her, breathing heavily. Brooke grabbed the comforter and got out of bed without looking at him.

"Where are you going?" Matt asked as she wrapped the comforter around herself.

"Just to the bathroom. To wash up, you know."

"Oh. Well, that was awesome, Brooke. I'm so glad we did that."

"Yeah, me too. I'll be right back."

She bolted down the hallway to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a little messy, but her makeup was still intact. She smoothed her hair down angrily, not wanting it to be messed up because of Matt. Then she stared into her own sad eyes. She felt empty and dirty. That had been so meaningless, and she hated that she'd let him touch her. She didn't want him to have that kind of privileges with her body; only Brady should get to touch her like that.

She shook her head violently to clear those thoughts. It was over with Brady for a while. She was just going to have to help Matt get better. It'd be fine, and surely he'd improve after a couple more tries. She could tell him what she liked and guide him on what to do. More foreplay might help. Or if the sex actually lasted longer than two minutes.

Brooke sighed and left the bathroom. When she got back to the bedroom, she picked her clothes up with the comforter still around her, then turned away from Matt to put them on. She could feel his eyes on her, but she never met his gaze. When she climbed back into bed he reached for her, but she shoved his arm away and lay facing away from him. "I don't feel very good," she said.

***

Damn it! Jill thought. What the fuck?! He'd been about to kiss her a minute ago, she was sure. And then it hadn't happened. She squirmed against him a little, not really sure what effect she was hoping it would have. Finally, unable to take it any longer, she opened her eyes and looked at him. His eyes were closed.

She turned her eyes to the ceiling, frustrated and upset. What was she supposed to do now?! She felt her chance slipping away. They'd been so close! Desperate, she readjusted herself, hoping the movement would get him to at least open his eyes again. Nothing. She was starting to feel panicky, like she might cry. She had to make something happen! This was it! If it didn't happen tonight, when was it ever going to happen?! She yawned loudly, then turned a little bit so she was partly facing him. Still no reaction. Should she just kiss him?

No. There was absolutely no way she was brave enough to do that. She lay there for several minutes straining her brain for any possible idea of how she could get him to make the move. He'd been about to, she knew it! Now she wished more than anything that she could go back fifteen minutes. What had she done wrong that had made him change his mind or chicken out? How could she let him know she wanted it to happen?

Then, suddenly, he started to breathe slowly and evenly. He was asleep.

Noooo! she screamed silently. No, no, no! He couldn't be asleep! This couldn't be over! The Todd high she'd been on all night was immediately crushed, and she just wanted to cry. This was awful! How had it turned out this way?

You should've known it would, Jill, she told herself bitterly. Nothing ever works out for you with him! How could you have actually thought tonight would be any different?

***

Hilton lay in bed with Landon's arm tightly around her, smiling gleefully into the pillow. They hadn't done _too_ much, but it had been so fun, and she was relieved but not surprised to find he was a hundred times better than Reed.

What an awesome night, she thought happily. Landon's my boyfriend, and I know I'm ready for that now, plus he's really good at...stuff....She grinned again, replaying it in her mind. She couldn't wait to tell Jill about it and hear what had happened with Todd. It had been _so_ cute when Todd had gotten in the recliner with Jill, and they looked so adorable together, cuddling like that.

When she'd been talking to Landon about getting Todd to ask Jill to the dance, Landon had said, "Oh, he will, he wants her."

"Did he tell you that?" Hilton had asked.

"No, but it's obvious. He definitely wants her. Trust me."

Hilton hoped Landon was right, and she thought Landon might have said something to Todd tonight too. She hoped so. It had been the best time of her life, but she wanted it to be the best time of Jill's life too, or the night would be partly ruined.

### chapter 4) landon's... halloween

Halloween was the following Saturday, and Landon had a party again, just as he had last year. Jill actually had a great week at school. When she'd woken up and gone home on Sunday morning, everything had seemed better. So she hadn't messed around with Todd, but it had still probably been the best time of her life, just like Hilton had said. And that last dance...that had been amazing. So had waking up next to him on the couch, his leg casually over hers and his arm still around her waist.

Her high lasted all week, and nothing was different between her and Todd at school. She'd been afraid the almost-kiss would make it awkward, but he was completely normal, joking around and flirting with her. And on Monday, when yearbooks were distributed, he wrote a message in hers that made her whole week.

Jilly,

Well it has been quite a year huh? We have had a lot of good times together, like California, hanging out in class, partying over the summer, Homecoming, etc, etc. Oh and of course the pantry and that bathroom stall last year. Wink, wink. Anyway, I wouldn't change any of it, and you really are one of my best friends, and definitely my best "girl friend." Thanks for always being there to listen and talk to me. Don't go and abandon me or something. Haha.

Todd

She started to doubt that he'd been about to kiss her at all. She'd probably just imagined it. After all, her eyes had been closed. But it didn't matter, because she still had plenty of chances to make something happen with him. Like Landon's party this weekend. And on Wednesday at lunch when everyone was talking about their costumes, Todd said, "Hey, Jill, you wanna be Ross and Rachel again?"

So she got to go to the party dressed in a matching costume with him again, sort of like they were a couple. And this year Bennett couldn't ruin it by asking her out, because he was going to the party with Kelsey.

She and Todd both wore the same outfits they'd worn last year, Jill in a tight white V-neck shirt and short black skirt with a little apron, and Todd in khakis and the FRANKIE SAY RELAX T-shirt Jill had made him last year.

"That is _so_ cute," Kelsey said to them on the way to the party in Todd's truck. "I love it. I love _Friends_."

"Somebody should've been Monica and Chandler," Jill said. "Since they're together now."

"Oooh, Lorylyn would make a cute Monica," Kelsey said.

"Yeah, but can you see Brady as Chandler?"

Both girls laughed.

"I should really start watching the show," Todd said. "I'm Ross and I don't even know anything about him."

"Thursdays at eight," Jill said. "You should come over and watch it with me. Ross likes dinosaurs. And he and Rachel _were not_ on a break. Well, not enough that he should've cheated on her. So he's pretty much an asshole." She looked at Kelsey, and they both giggled, knowing Todd had no clue what Jill was talking about.

"Wow, he sounds awesome," Todd said. "Sweet. I'm so glad I'm him. So him and Rachel aren't even together?"

"No, not anymore."

"Huh."

Jill looked at Kelsey and giggled again. "Seriously, Todd. You should start coming over to watch it."

"All right, maybe I will."

"Yeah right, whatever."

"You'll see."

"Okay, I guess I will."

"Yep."

Jill giggled, thrilled. He really sounded like he might come over and watch it.

When they got to the party, Hilton and Landon were down by the stone wall with Lindy and Andy.

"Aww, what a cute COUPLE," Landon said loudly as Jill, Todd, Bennett, and Kelsey joined them. Then he smiled.

"Who are you talking about?" Bennett asked, looking over at Todd. Bennett's and Kelsey's costumes didn't match; he was a prisoner and she was a flight attendant.

"Well, probably you and Kelsey, since you're the only couple there." Landon motioned to the four of them.

"Oh, shut up, dude," Todd said, laughing at Landon.

Jill looked from Todd to Landon to Hilton. What the hell was that all about?

Hilton shrugged and rolled her eyes. "Jill, come get a drink with me," she said, jumping down from the wall. "He thinks Todd likes you and is too pussy to do anything about it," Hilton explained as they walked away.

"Oh!" Jill looked back at Todd, her heart racing. "Do you think he does?"

"I think so. I think he's just shy. 'Cause I can't imagine any guy spending so much time with a girl who's just his 'friend,' and who nothing's ever gonna happen with. Guys don't work like that."

Jill felt hopeful. "Really? I mean, maybe he just doesn't like anybody, and he doesn't have anyone else to hang out with."

"Jill, he's been hanging around you for over a year now without dating anybody else. If he just liked you as a friend, don't you think he'd have looked to get some ass somewhere else by now?"

Jill shrugged. Was it really that big of a deal to guys to get some ass? Probably, if Hilton thought so. She knew way more about guys than Jill did.

"Then why won't he just do something?!" Jill cried in exasperation. "Why does he have to be so confusing?!"

Hilton shook her head. "I really think he's just shy, but he needs to get over that, before you move on. Like to Detter," she added with a wicked grin, and Jill grinned back.

"Come on, let's get a drink," Hilton said, grabbing two beers from a cooler and handing one to Jill. She popped the cap off hers and tossed it in the trash can, then put her arm around Jill as they walked back. "Just try not to worry about it tonight, and have fun. What happens happens. You guys are cute, by the way. You look hot." She grinned.

"Thanks. You too." Hilton was dressed as a pro tennis player. She was wearing tennis shoes and a tiny white cotton V-neck dress that didn't even come down to mid-thigh and wasn't even really a tennis dress. It was more like a swimsuit cover-up. She had on a baseball cap, and her hair was in a long braid. "You're a slutty tennis player," Jill added.

Hilton curtsied, lifting her skirt even higher. "Thanks, I try. Just call me Brooke." Then she giggled. "Oops, slip of the tongue. She doesn't play tennis, does she? Didn't mean that."

***

"Hey, you weren't online at all in SRT this week."

Brooke turned from the freezer in surprise. Brady was behind her, grabbing another bag of chips out of the pantry. She turned back quickly and grabbed some ice cubes for her glass. "Yeah, I had a lot of homework," she said dismissively.

She closed the freezer and opened the fridge, grabbing one of her and Lindy's two-liters of Coke and their handle of Captain.

"How come you didn't call on Wednesday night?"

"My parents didn't go out for dinner this week," Brooke lied.

"Oh. Well how about next week?" Brady pinched her ass and Brooke jumped away, irritated.

"Stop it, Brady! Okay, look...I wasn't online and I didn't call 'cause Matt and I had sex last weekend, okay? So I don't really...need this anymore." She gestured back and forth between the two of them.

"Oh," Brady said, surprised. "So you don't wanna do this anymore, since you and Matt are having sex now?"

"Yeah," Brooke said, looking at the floor, then taking a long drink from her glass. "I mean, there's really no point for me anymore."

"Oh." Brady hesitated. "Okay, then, I guess. Congratulations." He turned and left the kitchen.

Brooke sank back against the counter. He'd sounded shocked, but she'd hoped he would beg her to keep hooking up. 'Cause he'd still want sex, right? Oh no! she thought suddenly. What if he finds someone else?!

She couldn't let that happen. _She_ was the one he cheated on Lorylyn with; if he found someone to replace her, it would diminish what they'd had together. She wanted to believe that he slept with her because there was actually something between them, not just because she was someone to sleep with. And she couldn't stand the thought of some other girl being his "other girl." That was her little thing with him, and nobody else could follow her! Why hadn't she thought this through better? What the hell was she going to do now?

***

"Brady's wasted tonight," Lorylyn said later as she sat in the spin the bottle circle next to Jill. "I haven't seen him get this drunk in a long time." She giggled. "He's so cute and funny when he's drunk. I love it."

Jill grinned. "Yeah, Todd's really drunk tonight too," she said. "I love it too. He's even more flirty than normal. Oh, look! Somebody just spun him." She looked around to see. "Ahh! It was Bennett!" She hadn't really been paying much attention to the game.

"Aahh!" Lorylyn squealed.

Todd and Bennett met in the middle of the circle and smacked chests.

"I love you, dude," Todd said loudly, wrapping his arms around Bennett and slapping him on the back.

"Love you too, man."

"Kiss, kiss!" everyone chanted.

"I don't love him that much," Todd said, bending over to spin the bottle. "Sorry to disappoint." It landed between Jill and Lorylyn.

"Go!" Lorylyn whispered, shoving Jill.

"Rachel!" Todd called. "Rachel, come to Ross!" He held out his arms.

When Jill reached him he grabbed her around the waist and dipped her, lifting one of her legs.

"Todd!" Jill shrieked, trying to lower her leg. Everyone could probably see up her skirt! Good thing it was dark.

Then Todd leaned down to kiss her. He smelled like beer. Just as his lips touched hers, Jill lost her balance and they both tumbled to the ground.

Everyone started whistling and clapping, and Todd and Jill burst out laughing.

"You're such an idiot!" Jill said as she managed to climb back to her feet. She smoothed her skirt down, embarrassed but thrilled. One of her heels had fallen off, and she searched for it with her foot. "Typical Ross."

Todd reached out for Jill to pull him up, and she grabbed both his hands.

"Uh, I can't do it!" Todd said, not even trying.

"Come on!" Jill pulled as hard as she could.

Todd sprang off the ground, sending Jill flying backwards. Just before she fell, he caught her around the waist and pulled her up against him, balancing her. They both stumbled a little.

"I saved you," Todd said.

"Yeah right, it was your fault!" Jill cried, but she was laughing.

"Best kiss of the night!" someone yelled as Jill disentangled herself from Todd and smoothed down her skirt again.

She flashed an ironic smile in the direction of the voice and returned to her seat, being careful not to step in any holes in the ground and roll her ankle or something.

Lorylyn hit Jill's arm as Jill sat down. "That was hilarious!"

Jill smiled. "I am gonna kill him!"

***

"Lor, let's go inside," Brady said when spin the bottle was over.

"Okay!" Lorylyn said excitedly. She'd been hoping she and Brady would get a chance to fool around tonight. It'd be the second weekend in a row they'd had a private bedroom. Ever since school started, they didn't have that much time to hook up anymore since she was cheerleading. He came over during the week sometimes, or she went to his house, but their parents were always home, so it was usually just a stolen moment here or there, and it always just left her wanting more. Last weekend had been so much fun after the dance; they'd gone _all_ the way to third base and spent a lot of time there. Lorylyn had loved it, and she was hoping they could do it again tonight.

Brady didn't waste any time once they were in the bedroom. He peeled off his costume and hers too. She'd worn the same hula dancer outfit from last year, so it didn't take long. It gave her chills to go so fast; last weekend he'd been slow and gentle. That was good too, but this way was more exciting. It was probably because he was drunk, but she didn't care. She was feeling a little bit of a buzz too.

She felt suddenly nervous when she realized he was completely naked. This was the first time they'd both been naked together. Last weekend she had been, but he hadn't. As Brady lay on top of her kissing her, he rubbed against her a little.

"Don't you want to, Lorylyn?" he asked huskily.

She did. She hadn't thought she would, but at that moment, she really did. But no, it was too soon. She wasn't ready. She pushed him away a little. "Can I try giving you a blow job?" she asked. Last weekend she'd just given him a hand job by reaching under his boxers.

Brady rolled off of her. "Okay," he said. He seemed a little disappointed, but as soon as she started, his moans and jerky breathing told her it was fine.

She wondered how long this would take. It tasted kind of weird, and she liked what he'd done to her last week a lot better. Oh well, she thought. She wanted to experience everything, and he deserved something in return for what he'd done for her. And maybe they could do that again, after this. It wasn't so bad, if she knew that was coming next. She moved her mouth faster, wanting to finish as quickly as possible.

### chapter 5) sweet 16

"I can't believe you can't go to Chicago this year," Jill said. "It's gonna be so lonely, and I won't even be with my friends on my sixteenth birthday!" Her birthday was the Sunday of Thanksgiving break, a week from today. Last year Hilton had gone with Jill's family to Schaumburg to spend Thanksgiving with Jill's grandparents, but this year Hilton's parents were making her stay home.

"I know! It totally sucks," Hilton said. "But at least we get to go to dinner tonight."

"Yeah, I guess." They were on their way to Logan in Hilton's Sunfire. "I mean, I'm really glad I get to go out with you, but it's just gonna be so lonely at my grandma's all weekend. Everybody else is gonna be here hanging out together, and I have to miss it." She was thinking of fall break a couple weeks ago, when school had let out early on Wednesday, and she, Hilton, Hillary, Lorylyn, Landon, Brady, Dirk, Todd, Bennett, Kelsey, Doug, and Rachel had gone to Pizza Hut together, just like a big group of them had last year. Then they'd hung out Friday night of fall break at Bennett's. Everybody would probably hang out all of Thanksgiving break too, and she'd have to miss it...

"You should've asked Todd to go with you. He knows your grandparents. Maybe you could still ask him."

"No, I can't. I mean, I don't even know what his family does for Thanksgiving. And that's so couple-y. I'd feel stupid."

***

When they entered Don Pablo's, Hilton walked up to the hostess stand. "I have a reservation for Joliet."

The hostess smiled at her. "Right this way, please." She led them up the stairs.

"Ooh, upstairs," Jill said. "I've never been upstairs before."

They reached the top of the steps and walked into a big open room. There were booths around the edges and lots of square tables in the middle. The room was empty except for a large group in the middle that had several tables pushed together.

"SURPRISE!"

Jill's head whipped around and she looked at the large group of people for the first time. "Oh my gosh!" she cried, her mouth hanging open. She turned and hugged Hilton. "Aww, thanks, Hilton! Oh my gosh, you guys!" She rushed over to the table to hug everybody. Everyone was here she would've invited if she were hosting her own birthday party: Lorylyn, Brady, Hillary, Dirk, Landon, Todd, Bennett, and Kelsey...the exact same group from fall break minus Doug and Rachel.

"Jilly, we saved a seat for you here," Todd said, pointing to the head of the table. He was on one side of her, and Hilton took the seat on the other side.

"This is so exciting!" Jill said, clapping her hands. She looked at Hilton. "Did my parents know?"

"Yeah. And I'm going to Chicago with you too." Hilton grinned. "I just had to have an excuse to get you here."

"Yay!" Jill hugged Hilton again. "That's awesome! I can't believe this!"

"Let's do presents!" Lorylyn said, pointing. "Open mine first!"

Jill noticed there was a whole pile of presents in the middle of the table. "Aww, you guys didn't have to get me presents!"

"Open mine!" Lorylyn cried. Brady passed the sack down to Jill.

Jill pulled the tissue paper out and removed a black piece of fabric. It looked too small to be a shirt. She unfolded it. "Aaaahhh! It's a Central Perk apron! It's just like Rachel's! Oh my gosh, Lorylyn, where'd you get this?!"

Lorylyn smiled happily. "My mom made it. She's like a really good sewer, you know? It's not quite like Rachel's is on _Friends_ , but we tried to make it as close as we could. It's painted, instead of the decal. My mom watches _Friends_ too, so she knew what it looked like."

"Oh my gosh, I love it! Thank you so much!"

"It does look a lot like the real thing," Todd said seriously, and all the girls laughed at him. He actually had started coming over to watch _Friends_ with Jill every Thursday night. The first time he'd said afterward, "Huh. That was actually a pretty good show. I might have to start watching that with you." Jill had given him some of her tapes, starting with season one, so he could catch up. She had never missed taping a new episode, and she loved watching them over and over again when she was bored.

"I thought you could wear it next year with your costume," Lorylyn said.

"Hell yeah!"

"Brady didn't get you anything," Lorylyn said, wrinkling her nose at him.

"Hey, all of us guys are buying her dinner," Brady said.

"Yeah, when you put all your money together that'll be like two bucks apiece. Order a lot, Jill."

Jill giggled. "It's okay! I wouldn't expect you guys to get me anything."

She opened the rest of her presents. Kelsey got her some candles, and Hillary got her two Nora Roberts books.

"You'll love them, Jill. I just started reading them like a month ago, and I've read three already. They're so good. And I thought it'd give you something to do at your grandma's."

"They look good," Jill said, reading the back of one. She was surprised Hillary had gotten her books; Hillary only read occasionally.

"Open mine now," Hilton said, shoving it toward her.

Jill pulled the tissue paper out of the sack. It was a bikini, lavender with big dark purple polka dots on it. "For Florida," Hilton said with a smile.

"Oh, yay! I love it!" Jill reached over to hug her.

"Are you going this year too?" Hillary asked in surprise. "That'll be so fun!"

Jill froze. She hadn't told Hillary she'd invited Hilton to Florida this year instead. She'd just figured Hillary would realize Jill wasn't inviting her back, after how horrible it'd been last year, with them getting in that huge fight...

"Are you going too, Lorylyn?" Hillary asked.

"No, my family's going on a cruise," Lorylyn said, but Jill thought she looked confused at not having been invited. Jill made a mental note to explain to Lorylyn later what had happened. But then what if Lorylyn was still upset that Jill had invited Hilton instead of her?

"Aww, that sucks. But we'll still have so much fun! How will we all fit in your minivan though, Jill?"

"Um...I hadn't even thought of that," Jill said.

"Oh well! It'll be tight, but it'll just be a fun road trip!" Hillary said.

"Hey, what's that other present?" Hilton asked, and Jill gave her a quick look that said, Way to change the subject. Hilton just smiled and looked away, not wanting Hillary to notice.

"Oh, yeah, that's mine," Todd said. "I didn't know about the whole buying your dinner thing, so..." He looked embarrassed.

"Oh, that's okay!" Jill said, reaching out her hands for the sack. "I don't mind extra presents!" She wondered what Todd had gotten her. Probably something his mom picked out, but she was still excited he'd gotten her a present when none of the other guys had. She reached into the bag and pulled the tissue paper out. It was a pair of Hooters boxers. Jill burst out laughing. "What the hell?!"

Todd grinned. "Well, you guys usually wear boxers for gymnastics, so I thought those would be funny."

"Oh my gosh, Todd, I love them! That's hilarious! Thank you." Jill giggled.

"That is awesome! I so have to get some now so we can be matching!" Lorylyn cried. "Coach Tanner's gonna love that. Brady, can we stop at Hooter's after this and buy me some? Jill, let's wear them to practice tomorrow!"

"Okay!"

"See?" Todd said. "I'm so good. I knew that was the perfect present."

***

"Um, hey guys," Jill said to her parents when she got home. They were watching TV in the living room. "Thanks for the surprise. I'm really excited Hilton's still going to Grandma's!"

"Well, you don't have to thank us. It was Hilton's surprise," her mom said.

Jill shrugged. "So, about Florida...um, do you think there's any way I could take two friends?" She smiled brightly.

Her parents gave her a look. "What's going on?" her dad asked suspiciously.

"Well, I sort of...never told Hillary I invited Hilton, and Hillary still thinks she's going. I mean, I just figured she'd know she wasn't invited again 'cause we fought so much last year! But tonight when Hilton said something about Florida, Hillary was like, 'Oh, you're going too?' " Jill gave her parents a "please don't be mad" look.

"So you actually _want_ Hillary to go?" her mom asked.

"Well...I'm sure it'd be fine. I mean, we're not as close as we used to be, but we haven't fought lately at all. Plus I'd have Hilton."

Her parents looked at each other. Finally her dad spoke. "Well, if you really want her to go...I just don't want you to invite her because you feel like you have to, and then have a bad time. What about Lorylyn? Won't she feel left out now?"

"No, her family's going on a cruise," Jill said. "And she knows what happened; she knows I didn't actually invite Hillary." Jill had made sure to tell Lorylyn in the bathroom before they left Don Pablo's. Lorylyn had widened her eyes and giggled, and Jill was relieved she didn't seem offended that Jill had invited Hilton instead of her.

"Okay, well..." Jill's parents looked at each other again. "I guess that's okay then," her dad said. "We didn't tell you yet, but we decided to fly this year. We just booked our plane tickets this weekend, so we'll just have to try to get another one. We'll have to call Hillary's parents and make sure they don't mind paying for that."

Jill jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "We're flying?! That's so awesome! How come?"

"Well, we're just pretty much sick of driving. It's such a long haul. And by flying out Friday night and coming back Sunday morning, we'll actually have more time on the beach, 'cause even though we won't get the first Friday afternoon, we'll have the whole last Saturday. And Mom and I will only have to take five and a half days off work instead of six and a half."

"That's awesome! Yay, I'm so excited! Can you call Hillary's parents right now? 'Cause I wanna go call Hilton and tell her!"

***

At gymnastics practice the next day, Jill and Lorylyn wore their new matching Hooters boxers.

"I hope you understand you're never wearing those at a meet," Coach Tanner said.

"Oh, we won't," Lorylyn said with a giggle.

When Jill and Lorylyn left to get a drink, the JV basketball team was practicing on the other side of the gym. Dirk saw the girls and motioned to Todd, who'd decided to play basketball one more year since all his close friends played.

"Hoooterrrrs!" Dirk called out, and he and Todd laughed and high-fived. Bennett looked over too, and Lorylyn stuck her butt out toward the boys and slapped it.

Jill giggled. She loved when Todd saw her at practice because she thought she looked cute in her leotard and boxers. Hopefully he noticed....And she loved wearing something that had been a gift from him.

***

On the way to Schaumburg on Wednesday afternoon, Hilton listened to her CD player and slept, and Jill read one of the Nora Roberts books Hillary had gotten her.

"Hilton!" Jill said as soon as they were in their room at Jill's grandma's house. "They have sex scenes in them! No wonder Hillary likes them!"

"Ooh, I wanna read!" Hilton cried. "Can I read your other one?"

"Yeah!"

Jill couldn't wait to finish the one she'd started. She hoped there were a lot more sex scenes. She felt like she'd already learned a lot just from the one she'd read, and she couldn't wait to find out more. She was going to have to ask for some more of these books for Christmas.

***

Jill's family and Hilton went shopping on Michigan Avenue on Saturday, just as they had the year before, and Jill picked out her birthday presents. Jill's fifth-grade brother Aaron, her dad, and her grandpa hated shopping, so they decided to do their own thing. Everybody met back up for dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, and on Sunday, Jill's actual birthday, they went out for brunch before Jill, her parents, Winnie, Aaron, and Hilton had to head back to Indiana.

While they were at brunch, Jill's dad dug a small box out of his pocket. "I have one more present for you, Jill, besides the ones you picked out yesterday. I picked this one, so I hope I did okay."

Jill grinned and grabbed the box, thinking it looked like jewelry. Maybe he had gone to Tiffany's yesterday! It _was_ a special birthday, after all....She opened the box and pulled the stuffing out. She stared at the small silver and black key blankly for a moment, then her eyes widened as she looked up at her dad.

He was grinning. "It's a Plymouth Breeze," he told her. "A '95. Green. It's not dark green, more like an ocean greenish-blue, but more green than blue. I think you'll like the color. Aaron and Grandpa helped me pick it out yesterday. It should be at Grandma's when we get back. We thought you could drive home with Hilton, and Mom or I could ride with you, since you don't technically have your license yet."

"Ahhhh!" Jill screamed. She stood up and ran around the table to hug her dad. "Thanks, Dad! I love it! Thanks, Aaron! Thanks, Grandpa!"

"Well, you haven't even seen it yet."

"But it sounds so awesome! I'm so excited! Thank you so much!"

When they got back to her grandparents' house, the car was sitting in the driveway. Jill loved it at first sight. She jumped out of the minivan and ran to try the key. She slid into the driver's seat and reached over to unlock the passenger door for Hilton.

"This is so awesome!" she cried, looking around at the radio, the heating controls, the steering wheel, the backseat, everything.

"Why don't you girls take it for a spin around the block while we run in and get our bags?" her dad asked with a smile. "Just be careful, 'cause one of your parents is supposed to be with you."

"I wanna go!" Winnie cried eagerly.

"All right, honey, get in the back," Mr. Sherer said.

Jill started the car and carefully backed out of the driveway while Hilton searched for a radio station.

"This rocks, Jill! This is an awesome car!"

"I know!" Jill said gleefully. "I love it! I so wasn't expecting this, like at least till I got my license, 'cause my dad had said something about going to look at cars over Christmas break. He totally got me." She laughed giddily as they drove off down the street.

***

When Jill got home that evening, there were three messages for her. Hillary and Lorylyn had both called that afternoon to say happy birthday. The last message, to Jill's surprise, was from Todd.

"Hey, I was just callin' to say happy birthday. Hope it was fun. Tell your family I said hey. Later."

Jill smiled, touching her hand to her heart. "He is so cute," she moaned to her parents.

"Well, it seems like it was a pretty good sixteenth birthday," her mom said with a smile.

"It was! Thanks, you guys, so much!" Jill gave both of her parents hugs, then ran up to her room to call Lorylyn and Hillary and tell them about her car.

### chapter 6) no one else

A couple weeks later, Jill's mythology class finished early, so she got on one of the computers at the back of Ms. Kirkwood's room to check her email.

"Hey, Jill, how's it goin'?" Brooke asked, sitting down beside her.

Jill looked over. "Hey. I'm good, how about you?"

She and Brooke still sat next to each other in myth and at lunch, but Jill didn't join in the conversation at the lunch table much, and they never did any type of partner work in myth, so she never talked to Brooke much in here except for small talk at the beginning or end of class. Plus, there were other girls in the class besides Jill with whom Brooke was casual friends, so if class ended early, Brooke usually talked to them.

Back around the time Lorylyn had checked Brady's email, Jill had hoped to hear some interesting conversation at lunch, or just anything Brooke might say about Brady that Jill could tell Lorylyn, but the only time Brady's name had even come up at lunch was the day they'd talked about Homecoming Court. Brooke didn't talk about Matt much either, other than when his name came up in some story that involved something crazy and fun she'd done over the weekend, but it was never anything like, "Matt's so sweet, guess what he did?" She never really talked about their relationship, but she seemed happy.

"I'm good," Brooke said with a smile. "How's gymnastics?"

"Good so far. Our first meet's next Wednesday. How's cheerleading?"

"Oh, pretty good. The basketball team's good this year. It's gonna be a good season."

"Yeah, I know." Jill glanced casually at Brooke's computer screen, trying to see whom the messages in her inbox were from. She saw Matt Allan, Lindy Brooks, and a few other names, but none from Brady Cash. But his would be near the top, since the emails showed up alphabetically by the first name of the sender. She kept glancing over, trying to do it without Brooke seeing her. Once Brooke looked her way, and Jill quickly moved her eyes back to her own screen and started typing.

Just then Brooke got a new email. She scrolled up to find it, and Jill looked at her screen again out of the corner of her eye, trying to read the names that were flying by. The email was from Ashley. As Brooke double-clicked on it, Jill looked quickly away. There hadn't been any from Brady.

***

Jill passed Lorylyn a note in Algebra II.

I saw Brooke's email acct today in myth, and she didn't have any emails from Brady. So they must not email anymore, cuz why would she delete them?

Lorylyn read it, then wrote something and passed it back.

She might delete them if Matt knows her password.

Jill thought for a moment, then smiled as she wrote her reply. She tossed it on Lorylyn's desk.

_She'd_ _never_ _tell him her password, are you kidding me!?!?!?!_

Lorylyn read it, then she looked over at Jill and they shared a grin. Lorylyn folded the note and tucked it in her Algebra II book.

***

The following Wednesday, after their gymnastics meet, Jill and Lorylyn went to Jill's house to watch that night's episode of _Dawson's Creek_ , which Jill had taped.

"That was such a good meet!" Lorylyn said as she settled down on the couch. "Especially for the first one of the year. You totally nailed your beam routine. Your back handsprings were connected!"

"I know! Isn't it weird how it happens for the first time in a meet? Your vaults were awesome too. I'm still doing a half-half. I never spend that much time on vault in practice. I need to work on my half-full."

"Yeah, I think I wanna do two half-fulls next meet. I don't like Yamis."

"Are they worth the same?"

"I don't even know. That was so cute that Todd came though! It was an away meet!"

"Yeah, well it was only like a half hour away. And he came to some last year too. And Dirk and Landon and Brady were there, so they probably just all came to hang out with Brady." Jill had gotten major butterflies when Todd had walked in though. She hadn't known he was coming, and it had made her night. She loved watching him walk in and pretending he was her boyfriend and really _was_ there to see her, like Brady was there to see Lorylyn.

"Whatever." Lorylyn gave Jill a look. Then she asked, "Are you getting Todd a Christmas present?"

"I don't know. I kinda want to, but I doubt he'll get me anything, and he'd probably think it was dumb if I got him something."

"No he won't. It's a girl thing. You get presents for all of us, so you might as well get him one too, if you want. He's one of your best friends just as much as we are."

"That's true." Jill was excited now. She couldn't wait to go shopping and pick something out for him. And they only had two days of school left before break, which meant by the time she had a chance to go shopping, it'd be break already, so it'd give her an excuse to call him and get together. And maybe she could even give it to him on Christmas Eve or Christmas, and then she'd get to see him on a holiday, which would totally be a couple-y thing.

***

Jill was bummed on Friday morning because it was her last day of computers with Todd. They'd had so much fun emailing each other back and forth all semester, and it had been a total blow-off class. Next semester she'd signed up for jewelry, which she'd thought sounded fun, but had since heard was really hard.

**I wish this wasn't our last day of this class** , she emailed Todd. The room was completely silent because the majority of the class was still working on the final. Jill and Todd had been among the first to finish. The good part about this day was that because they were on finals schedule, this class met twice, once for the two-hour final, and once for lunches and a study period before the gold day period two final this afternoon.

it's not for me. i'm taking advanced next semester

what? i thought you were taking team sports

coach lever didn't want me taking weight training and team sports both during baseball season, cuz he doesn't want me using my arm that much. so i have to take team sports next fall instead. so i signed up for adv. comp.

why didn't you tell me!?!?!? i should've dropped jewelry!

you prolly still can. go down during srt

good idea! when do you have adv comp? this same period?

yep.

awesome. i'll try to get in it.

what are you doing tonight?

i dunno, why?

i think bennett's having some people over. like kels, and maybe some of her friends, and prolly dirk and hillary.

oh, that's cool. yea i'll prolly come.

***

Jill went straight from computers to the guidance office. She didn't want to take the off chance of her SRT teacher not giving her a pass.

She had to wait for about ten minutes, and she was getting really impatient. She knew Hilton was probably wondering where the hell she was, and SRT was shorter today because of finals schedule, so this was totally cutting into her and Hilton's story time.

"Hi," she said when she finally got in to see Mrs. Weber. "I need to change my schedule for next semester."

"What's the problem?"

"Well, it's not really a problem, but I really liked my computers class, so I wanna take advanced computers instead of jewelry."

"Okay, well let me look it up and see if that'll even be meeting the same period. Otherwise we might have to change your whole schedule around, and you wouldn't have all the same teachers."

"Okay," Jill said, even though she already knew it met the same period.

"Yep, it looks like that would work! It actually meets the same time. You're lucky!" Mrs. Weber smiled at Jill, and Jill smiled back, trying not to laugh. "Oh, we actually have both Mr. Baker and Mr. Kraft teaching it that period. Is there one you'd prefer?"

"Um," Jill said, trying to sound like it wasn't really a big deal. She didn't know who Todd had! "Well, I have Kraft now, and I really like him, so I guess I'll stay with him." Todd probably would've done the same, right?

"Okay, let's get you added in there. Now, this section is actually full, but I'm just gonna go ahead and put you in there, because I'm sure some people will drop after the first day. If no one does, we might have to switch you to another section. But for now, this one should work." She looked at Jill and smiled pleasantly. "Well, your new schedule should be printing at the main desk right now. You can pick it up from Ms. Lappell on your way out. I'm glad you're enjoying computers!"

Jill smiled back as she stood. "Thanks."

***

Since SRT on this last day before break was just used to make up finals or study, and Brooke's last final this afternoon was going to be a blow-off, she decided to get on the computer. She hadn't been on during SRT in almost two months, ever since she'd stopped sleeping with Brady. It was too hard, knowing he was probably online, because she knew she'd be dying to email him, or if he was online and didn't email her, she knew she'd feel hurt. She'd deleted all his emails too, to keep him off her mind. But today Lindy was making up a final, and the movie Mr. Grayson was showing was some Christmas cartoon that Brooke didn't find funny at all.

Even though she knew she shouldn't, the first thing she did when she opened her email was check the Who's Online list. There he was...Brady Cash. She sighed. She debated sending him an email just to talk, but she couldn't decide.

One day in Spanish, the week after fall break, he'd leaned over and whispered, "So how's the sex with Matt?"

"It's good," she'd whispered back offhandedly, trying not to put any emotion in her voice. He hadn't responded, so the conversation had ended there. They still made small talk and said hi to each other every day, but Brooke almost felt like they'd broken up or something. It was so hard to be around him and think about what they used to have. But, she kept telling herself, this is only temporary.

She didn't think he'd found anyone else to replace her; at least she didn't see him with any girl besides Lorylyn at school ever, and he didn't really have any other close female friends besides her, so it's not like there would've been some other girl who would've naturally taken her place. That made her feel better, because she must not have just been a piece of ass to him.

And the sex with Matt _had_ gotten better. It still wasn't near as good as with Brady, because she didn't love Matt, but it was at least enjoyable. Still though, she was desperate to start things up with Brady again. She had been debating when to break up with Matt and what reason she should give for doing so for a while now. She'd just decided this week that she'd stay with Matt through Christmas break and then probably break up with him after that. Then, once they were back in school, she could let Brady know she was ready to start hooking up again.

All of a sudden her computer beeped. When she saw it was from Brady, she was instantly nervous and had to take a deep breath to slow her racing heart. Jeez, Brooke, calm down, she told herself. She opened the email.

Can we please hook up over break? I'm getting nowhere w/ L.

Brooke's heart raced again. She couldn't believe it. This definitely proved he hadn't found a replacement for her! And it meant he was still getting nothing from Lorylyn; Brooke had worried that if he didn't replace her, he might pressure Lorylyn harder, and Lorylyn might give in; then Brady would have no use for Brooke anymore when she was ready to take him back.

What do I say?! Brooke wondered now. She wanted to do it more than anything. But then it'd be like as soon as he'd asked, she'd gone running back to him.

I'm still w/ Matt.

She prayed that would encourage him, since she hadn't actually said the word no, and he'd keep trying.

So? He can't possibly be as good as me :)

If only you knew, Brooke thought with a shake of her head.

he's pretty good

Come on Brookie. Anything. Just once?

well...he's going skiing with his fam for a week, between christmas and new years. call me then.

She quickly signed off before he could reply, her heart still racing. But she was grinning from ear to ear. She'd played it perfectly. He thought she was only agreeing because Matt was going to be gone. So she'd get what she wanted, and so would he, and then right after New Year's she could break up with Matt, and now she wouldn't even have to be the one to suggest to Brady they start things up again, because they'd already have started. It was going to be a great Christmas break.

***

Todd was so glad he hadn't listened to Landon at Homecoming. He was also glad he hadn't kissed Jill that night after the dance. Things were still exactly the same between them, and Jill hadn't given any sign that she thought Todd liked her. He hated to think what would've happened if he'd kissed her and completely pissed her off or humiliated himself. Then they wouldn't be able to hang out like they were tonight.

He studied her as she sat across Bennett's basement on the floor playing euchre with Kelsey and Hillary and Rachel. We have the perfect relationship, he decided. 'Cause when neither of us is dating anybody, we have each other to hang out with. And she's totally cool. But if she was dating somebody, like if she started dating Bennett again, I wouldn't care. And she wouldn't care if I started dating somebody either. Todd thought some girls were so dumb, how they acted jealous all the time. Hillary acted like that if Dirk even mentioned another girl's name. But he couldn't imagine Jill ever doing that. That's why she was the perfect best friend; she knew exactly what was going on and didn't have all these issues like, Oh, does he like me?, or, Oh, he's mine, and I won't let anybody else have him. Todd felt lucky to have found someone who saw eye-to-eye with him on all that stuff and who understood him without having to have long drawn-out discussions about what their relationship meant.

***

"You really are a good friend, Jill. I know I always say that when I'm drunk, but I'm glad we're such good friends," Todd said later on the way home.

"Aww, thanks, me too," Jill said, happily surprised. He really did only normally say stuff like that when he was drunk.

"I don't know, I was just thinking about it tonight, it's weird."

"What is?"

"Just like how good of friends we are. You know, it's just cool 'cause you're like a really cool girl; most girls I don't think I could be that good of friends with." His tone was a little aloof, which told her he meant what he was saying, but he was trying to sound a little tough or something to counteract being so open with her. She thought it was adorable.

"Yeah, it is really cool. I'm glad you think I'm a cool girl." She imitated his aloof tone to tease him a little.

Todd smiled at her then and grabbed her knee, causing her foot to kick out. "There's no one else like you, Jilly."

"Ahh! Stop it, Todd, I hate that!" Jill laughed.

He smiled, and then he was silent the rest of the way to her house. But she felt warm all over and pleased after what he'd said.

"Night!" she said as she hopped out of his truck.

"Night, Jilly."

***

Christmas break was nice because of not having school, but it was also somewhat lonely and depressing. Jill hung out with Hilton every other day or so, and sometimes with Hillary and Lorylyn too, but it sucked when they were all with their boyfriends and she had to sit at home by herself. She rented a lot of movies and wished she had more Nora Roberts books to read.

She looked forward to gymnastics practice because sometimes the basketball players practiced at the same time. On Saturday, the second night of break, there was an away basketball game, and Jill got her dad to drive her and Kelsey to it. Kelsey was a diver, so she wasn't doing basketball cheerleading either. Jill had hoped Lorylyn might go too, but she was at Brady's family Christmas in Indianapolis, which wasn't actually on Christmas this year because Brady's brother had to spend Christmas Day with his in-laws in Texas. There was another away game on Tuesday though, and Lorylyn went to that one.

Jill was having a lot of fun, and it was especially cool that Hilton had her license now and they could go shopping in Logan on their own, without parents. It was just that this was where her pseudo-relationship with Todd lacked, because when all the real couples were going on dates, Jill was sitting at home.

When Jill and Hilton went shopping on Thursday, Jill spent two hours trying to find something perfect for Todd. Finally she picked out a deck of playing cards with nude women on them. She thought it'd be a really cool gift, not something stupid like a girl might normally get a guy, plus they played cards all the time when they hung out at Bennett's.

"It's perfect," Hilton agreed. "I love it!" She'd made Landon sugar cookies, his favorite, and a coupon book for different sexual things. Jill thought _that_ was the perfect gift, and she wished Todd was her boyfriend so she could've done the same thing for him.

Jill had spent so long picking out Todd's gift that by the time she and Hilton got home, she barely had time to shower and get ready for her family's annual pre-church Christmas Eve dinner at the Brinkley House with Hillary's family.

Dirk was with Hillary, just like last year, but it was still fun, and Jill and Hillary and their parents spent a lot of time talking about spring break. Everyone was excited to be flying, and Hillary's parents hadn't hesitated to pay for her plane ticket because it was so much safer and more convenient. Jill decided she was glad Hillary was still going, and she and Hilton and Hillary would probably have a great time.

***

Jill had decided to wait until the day after Christmas to call Todd, since she hadn't bought his present till Christmas Eve and she didn't know what his family plans were.

On Christmas afternoon, she was curled up on the couch in the living room reading one of her new Nora Roberts books when the phone rang.

"Jill!" her mom called. "I think it's Todd," she whispered as Jill took the phone.

"Hello?" Jill said, not wanting to get her hopes up that he was actually calling her on Christmas.

"Hey, Jill, guess what? My parents told me today that they're done going to counseling, and they're gonna stay together!"

"Oh my gosh, Todd! That's so awesome!"

"Yeah. Well, I just wanted to call and tell you. I gotta get goin', 'cause we're goin' to my cousins' house."

"Okay. Well, thanks for calling! Oh, hey, I have a present for you. When do you wanna get together so I can give it to you?"

"Um...well tomorrow I have another family Christmas; could we do it like Sunday?"

"Sure, that's cool," Jill said, a little disappointed she had to wait two more days.

"Okay, well, I'll give ya a call. I gotta go now though. See ya."

"Bye." Jill hung up, a little bummed he'd been in such a hurry to go, but still, he'd called her on Christmas! And his parents were staying together, and he'd wanted to tell her right away. She was happy for him, and for his parents, who were so cute and nice, and for herself too.

***

Brooke had been absolutely confident the last day of school that Brady would call her. But now it was two days after Christmas and she hadn't heard anything. She was starting to worry he'd changed his mind or forgotten when she'd said Matt would be gone. She didn't want to look desperate and call him, but this _had_ to happen, or she would be so upset she didn't know what she'd do. Maybe he's waiting till Wednesday, she thought, 'cause that's the night my parents usually go out to dinner. But that was the night before New Year's Eve, and Matt got back the next day. She didn't think she'd be able to stand waiting that long and not knowing if he was going to call. She wished he was on the basketball team so she'd see him at cheerleading practice. There was a home game on Tuesday night; maybe he'd be there and she'd be able to talk to him then. But if he was there, he'd probably be with Lorylyn. Agh, this sucked!

***

"Hey, what time do you have practice tomorrow?" Brady asked Lorylyn later that night as he was getting ready to leave her house.

"Um, six to nine. Then on Tuesday it's twelve to 2:30, 'cause of the basketball game. So we could hang out tomorrow afternoon if you want, or tomorrow night late. I wanna go to the game on Tuesday; are you going?"

"Yeah, I'll go. That's cool. Um, how about I'll just call you tomorrow afternoon and we can figure out when we're gonna hang out. Is that cool?"

"Sure, that's fine." Lorylyn stretched lazily. "Just call me whenever. I'm gonna sleep in though."

"Okay, I'll give you a call tomorrow afternoon. Bye, babe." He leaned down and kissed her, then grinned his charming grin and stroked her cheek before heading to the front door.

***

"Brooke, some boy called for you tonight," her mom said with a frown as Brooke came in shortly after midnight from being at the movies with Lindy. "It didn't really sound like Matt."

"Really?" Brooke said, her breath quickening. "He didn't leave a name?"

"No, were you expecting a call from anyone?"

"No," Brooke said hastily, already halfway up the stairs to her room. Shit! He'd called, and she'd missed it! And now it was too late to call him tonight...she hoped he hadn't wanted to hook up tonight! She ran back down the hallway. "Do you remember what time it was, Mom?"

"Kind of late...10:30, eleven?"

"Huh," Brooke said, pretending to be mystified. "Okay, just wondered." Thank God, he probably hadn't wanted to do it tonight. He'd probably just called after being out with Lorylyn. Hopefully he'd call back tomorrow. If he doesn't call by three, I'll call him, she decided.

***

He called at one.

"Hey, Brookie. You still up for it?"

"Yeah, sure," she said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Matt's gone, so why not, I guess."

"Well, Lorylyn has practice from six to nine tonight. Would that work for you? I haven't made plans with her for today yet, 'cause I wanted to make sure we could still do this if you're busy tonight."

"Um..." Brooke said, thinking quickly. If she had a chance to stop him from hanging out with Lorylyn, she'd take it. It felt good to know she was his first priority today. And she didn't want to do it when it was most convenient for him, because she didn't want him to think she was just available for him anytime. "I'm actually supposed to go out to dinner with Lindy," she lied. "So I probably couldn't do it till like eight or nine."

"Okay, well that's fine, I'll just tell her I'm too tired to hang out after her practice. Hey," he said suddenly, excitement in his voice, "you wanna meet like at nine at Landon's cottage? Shit, I just realized, last time I was there with him he didn't tell his parents he was going, so he had to use the key they keep hidden up there, so I know where it is."

"Yeah, definitely!" Brooke said. It was risky, but it'd be exhilarating too, sneaking into someone else's house. Plus they'd have a bed there, and complete privacy, without worrying about how soon her parents would be home. Every Wednesday that he'd come over, she'd been afraid to risk more than an hour.

"Sounds good. See ya then. I'm so glad we're doing this."

"Me too." Brooke smiled. "See ya then."

***

"Guess what?" Jill asked Lorylyn at practice that night, practically bubbling with excitement. "Todd came over last night!"

"Oh, _really_." Lorylyn raised her eyebrows and giggled.

"Yeah, so I could give him his Christmas present. When I called him, he was like, 'Oh, shit, I don't have anything for you. Can we do it another day?' But I was like, 'No, it's fine, I don't expect you to get me anything; you got me a birthday present and I didn't get you one.' So he came over and we watched a movie." She grinned. "And he _loved_ his present." She saw Coach Tanner looking at them and turned to push herself up onto the beam.

Lorylyn laughed. "Yeah, I'm sure he did!"

"So are you and Brady doing anything tonight?" Jill asked as she did a full turn.

"No." Lorylyn gave Jill a glum look. "He came over this afternoon, but he didn't feel good at all. He was just being bummy all afternoon, like laying around, and he didn't wanna go take Moon for a walk or anything." Moon was Lorylyn's dog. "So when he dropped me off at practice he said he was just gonna go home and sleep."

"Aww, that sucks." Jill gave Lorylyn a sympathetic look, then paused to do her back handsprings. She was connecting them with no problem now. "Hey!" she said suddenly as she prepared for a jump. "We should hang out tonight! You can spend the night if you want." She whirled her arms around her head and twisted through the air in a three-quarter camel jump, landing with her back to Lorylyn. She landed perfectly, then stuck her arms out to the side, holding the pose for a brief second before jumping down to the mat.

"Yeah!" Lorylyn brightened. "That'd be fun!"

***

When Brooke pulled into the driveway, Brady's car was already there. The driveway lights weren't on; Brady probably didn't want to draw any attention from the neighbors. But Brooke could see a light on inside, behind a closed curtain. She checked her reflection in the mirror of her car, then climbed out.

Brady opened the door before she was halfway there, and she hurried inside. She felt like they were adults stealing away for a weekend in the country, to their own private cottage.

"Hi," he greeted her with a grin, his curl falling in front of his eye. He kissed her quickly on the lips.

"Hi." Brooke smiled back.

Brady headed for the kitchen, and Brooke followed him. "I found some wine," he said over his shoulder. "Want some?"

"Sure." Brooke leaned against the counter and waited while Brady grabbed a bottle from the wine rack and uncorked it. He already had a glass out for her; he must've been getting ready to pour it before she got here. "You don't think they'll notice?" she asked.

"No. Or they'll just think it was Landon or Corey. So I don't give a shit." He grinned mischievously, and Brooke grinned back.

She loved this. Just in the two minutes she'd been here, she was having more fun than she'd ever had with Matt. She also felt more anticipation than she'd ever felt with Matt. She realized all that the time apart from Brady had accomplished was causing her to fall even more in love with him. At the moment, that seemed like a good thing. She was so happy to be with him. This was going to be a night to remember.

Brady brought her the glass of wine, still grinning at her in that irresistible way he had.

Brooke took the glass and sipped. "Good," she said, even though it tasted bitter. She hadn't ever had much wine, and she wasn't the biggest fan. But it was a romantic gesture.

Brady watched her while she sipped. She loved the way he was looking at her, like he couldn't take his eyes off her. Suddenly he ripped the glass out of her hand and reached around her waist, setting it on the counter behind her. "Fuck the wine," he said, crushing his lips against hers.

Brooke shivered all over, even though his mouth was hot. She felt tingles all the way down to her toes. _This_ was what she wanted, _this_ was what she lived for. Not Matt's fumbling, clumsy attempts, but Brady's passionate kisses and touches. Right now she couldn't remember why she'd ever thought Matt was a good kisser. She knew no one else would ever be able to turn her on the way Brady did.

"I can't believe you're doing this while you're still with Matt," Brady said as they moved to a bedroom, Brooke stumbling backward while Brady guided her with his hands on her hips, still kissing her hungrily. "I never thought I'd be able to talk you into it."

Brooke fell onto the bed, tilting her head back as he sucked at her neck. At this point, she didn't even care if he gave her a hickey. She'd just say it was a curling iron burn.

"Oh...well...he's gone," she said breathlessly. How could someone sucking on her neck feel this good?! "And I lied, he wasn't that good anyway."

### chapter 7) she may be nice, but i'm a bitch

On Tuesday at practice, Jill decided to start working on her half-fulls. Normally she didn't even do vault every day, and when she did, she'd only take about five or six turns, just enough to make sure her half-halfs were still good. But today she felt lazy and didn't want to go through any of her routines, so she got out a pit to put behind the horse and decided to spend the whole time, or as much as she could get away with, working on her half-fulls.

Lorylyn vaulted with her, and they were having a great time joking around and giggling and flying off the horse onto the pit. When Coach Tanner had her back to them, they decided to spin around in circles on the floor ex mat to make themselves dizzy before running down the vault runway. They spun for several seconds on their tiptoes, and then Jill went first. She was halfway down the runway when she started laughing so hard she fell down and rolled on the ground, still laughing hysterically.

Lorylyn burst out laughing too and collapsed on the floor exercise mat, kicking her legs in the air.

Coach Tanner turned around. "Lorylyn, I think it's time for you to move on," she called. "Unless you're working on a new vault, which it doesn't look like."

Jill and Lorylyn looked at each other and laughed even harder. Coach Tanner gave them a look and then turned back to spotting Rachel Winebrenner, who was working giants on bars.

Jill pushed herself up off the vault runway and walked over to Lorylyn, reaching out her hands to pull Lorylyn up. "Let's get a drink," Jill said.

"Where are you girls going?" Coach Tanner asked as they left the gym.

"To get a drink," Jill told her.

"Well, when you get back, you better be working a lot harder than you have been so far today. Lorylyn, I want you on beam. You need to work on connecting your front walkover right into your tuck full."

"Okay," Lorylyn said as she kept walking, sticking her finger down her throat.

Jill giggled again, glancing back at Coach Tanner out of the corner of her eye. She didn't look too thrilled. Jill pursed her lips to hold back her laughter and hurried to keep up with Lorylyn.

As soon as they were out the door and headed across the lobby to the drinking fountain, Jill burst out laughing again, and Lorylyn joined her. Just then, another door to the lobby opened, and the JV basketball team came out from the hallway on the far side of the varsity gym.

"Ooh, there's the boys," Jill whispered, and she and Lorylyn giggled even harder.

As they stopped to get their drinks, Jill watched the boys out of the corner of her eye. She felt so small in her bare feet and leotard next to the boys in their huge shoes and baggy shorts and practice jerseys.

"Hey, girls!" Dirk yelled as the boys headed into the gymnastics gym, and Bennett whistled at them.

"Hoooterrrrs!" Todd called.

Jill looked down and realized she was wearing her Hooters shorts. That set her off laughing again. "I'm so hyper!" she gasped to Lorylyn.

Lorylyn looked at her, and they both laughed even harder. "Me too!"

Last year Jill and Lorylyn had taken practice more seriously, but this year, since they both had sealed spots on varsity and felt more comfortable around Coach Tanner, they goofed off a lot and were hyper like this at least half the time. It made practice a lot more fun, and they still got a lot accomplished. Coach Tanner got on their case sometimes, but she didn't really care since they were two of her better gymnasts.

When Jill and Lorylyn walked back into the gym, the JV boys had started their walk-through for that night's game.

"Look how pale they are," Lorylyn whispered to Jill, who giggled.

Todd ran toward the basket and went up for a lay-up. The ball hit between the rim and backboard and came back down right at his face. Jill and Lorylyn looked at each other and doubled over in laughter, both holding their stomachs as they ran behind the curtain to their half of the gym. They ran all the way to the floor ex mat and collapsed on it. Jill was laughing so hard tears were streaming down her face.

"Girls..." Coach Tanner called.

"Okay." Lorylyn pushed herself up, breathing hard from laughing.

Jill stood up too, wiping the tears away with the back of her hand. As her hand neared her nose, it made her think of the nose gesture Brooke always did and the time at Landon's when they'd snorted beer through their noses. She laughed again, still drying the tears as she walked back to the vault runway.

As Lorylyn stepped onto the low beam to warm up, she glanced back at Jill, and they both started all over again.

***

A little while later Lindy came over to join Jill on vault. "So, are you excited for Landon's on Thursday?" she asked with a grin.

"Oh, yeah!" Jill said.

"Are you going with Todd?"

Jill shook her head quickly. "No. We're just friends."

"Yeah, but I just thought you guys might go together so you don't have to worry about drawing somebody awful." Every year at Landon's New Year's Eve party, any girl who didn't come with a date had to draw a dateless guy's name out of a hat and kiss that guy at midnight.

"Eww." Jill wrinkled her nose. "I hadn't even thought of that! That's a good idea." Just thinking about it gave her little butterflies in her stomach. She was so glad Lindy had suggested it...now the only problem was making it happen.

***

Hilton got to the school around 5:30 that afternoon for the basketball game. She was stretching in a corner of the gym with some of the other cheerleaders when Brooke stormed in, dumped her bag on the ground, and then turned to face the girls, her hands on her hips.

"Do you guys know Kara Darson?" She sounded furious.

"I used to sit with her at lunch for a couple months last year," Hilton said, wondering what all this was about.

"Yeah, but we moved back to our old table after Lorylyn and Brady got back together," Hillary said, flashing a smile in Hilton's direction.

Hilton knew it was meant to be a direct slam to Brooke. Not the time, she thought, pretending not to see Hillary's look. She turned back to Brooke.

"Well she is a little fucking _bitch_ ," Brooke declared loudly.

"What happened?" Tiffany and Stacy asked together.

Hilton had never been a big fan of Tiffany or Stacy, but she didn't have any real issues with them. They were just stuck-up and bitchy, so she tried to avoid them. Now she looked from them back to Brooke expectantly.

"She hooked up with Andy." Brooke, with her hands still on her hips, waited for their responses.

It took Hilton a moment.

"Lindy's Andy?!" Tiffany cried, her mouth hanging open. She threw a quick glance at Stacy.

"Yep. UGH! Stupid little bitch! I just wanna beat the shit out of her!"

Hilton stared in disbelief. First of all, Andy cheating on Lindy?! They'd been together forever, and they never seemed to fight or anything; they seemed so happy and cute. Second of all, _Kara Darson_? Where the hell had that come from?! When did Kara Darson even talk to Andy?

"Kara _Darson_?" Stacy said, echoing Hilton's thoughts. "What the hell? Isn't she that geeky girl who's like really quiet and doesn't even know what to say to you if you talk to her? Yeah, I remember her from junior high. Wasn't she in your grade, Hillary? She was in our lunch and she sat by herself, and we like always made fun of her. That was like, seventh grade."

"Yep, that's her," Brooke said. "Fucking whore. Have you seen her lately? She doesn't have glasses anymore, and she got the 'Rachel haircut'; she probably thinks she's all big shit now."

"How does she even know Andy?" Hilton asked.

"Oh, I don't know, I guess they have like chemistry together or something, and he switched into it like the second day and she didn't have a lab partner, go fucking figure, so they got put together." Brooke was fuming; Hilton had never seen her so mad. Hilton was still in shock about the whole thing.

"How'd Lindy find out? Did she just find out today?" Tiffany asked.

"Andy's _mom_ called her. I guess little slut girl like called his house or something asking for him, so his mom asked him about it, and he said it was nothing, but his mom didn't believe him so she called Lindy this afternoon and told her about it. 'Cause I guess when Kara called, she actually told his mom to have Andy call her about 'when they were going out.' And she like introduced herself to his mom and tried to have a conversation with her. What a stupid fucking bitch. What the _hell_ was she thinking? She was just asking to get caught. She's so freaking pathetic that she probably _wanted_ the whole school to find out, just so she'd get some attention for once and people would all know she hooked up with him! Ugh!" Brooke balled her hands into fists. "She's so stupid! Oh, she'll get attention now, I'll fuckin' make sure of it. She'll regret ever fucking with Lindy."

"So Lindy just called Andy out on it, or what? How'd she find out they actually hooked up?" Stacy asked. She and Tiffany glanced at each other again. Hilton narrowed her eyes at them warily. There was something suspicious about those looks they kept giving each other.

"Well, she thought it was probably nothing at first, so when he came over, she was just like, 'What's going on with you and Kara Darson?' 'Cause she didn't wanna give away that his mom told her, so she just pretended she heard something at gymnastics today, and she figured he'd be like, 'What the hell are you talking about?' and it'd be over. So he got this really worried look on his face, I guess, and was like, 'Why? What'd you hear?' So she said that she heard at gymnastics practice that he hooked up with Kara while they were working on chemistry one night and that Kara's been spreading it around, and somebody on the team heard and told her. And he actually admitted to it!" Brooke shook her head angrily.

"He just flat-out admitted it to her?" Stacy was surprised.

"Well, at that point he probably thought she already knew; he didn't know she was making up hearing it from somebody at gymnastics. So he probably just thought it was easier. But then he tried to all, like, downplay it, and he told her how it was just a one-time thing and it would never happen again and blah, blah, blah." Brooke rolled her eyes dramatically. "So she was like, 'Well Kara's telling people you guys are supposed to go out on a date,' and Andy was all like, 'Oh, she's so dumb, I never gave her that impression at all.' So Lindy just told him to get the fuck out of her house." Brooke looked a little pleased as she said the last sentence.

"So they're broken up?" Hillary asked in disbelief.

Hilton knew how Hillary must be feeling. This was so random and out of the blue. Andy was about the last guy Hilton would've ever expected to be a cheater. She could see _Dirk_ cheating way before _Andy_.

"Oh, fuck yeah. He's a total dick. I can't believe he did that to her," Brooke said.

"Neither can I," Hilton said, shaking her head. "That really is pathetic; who's so desperate they have to broadcast to the whole school that they hooked up with a popular guy? Does she actually think it'll make people think she's cool or something?! Everybody loves Lindy. Kara's gonna get her ass kicked."

"Hell yeah!" Brooke said. "By me! If she even dares to show her face at the game tonight..."

***

Jill got to the basketball game early and stood in the bleachers, looking around anxiously. She wished Lorylyn and Brady would hurry up and get here; it was starting to get crowded, and she hated standing by herself and trying to save seats.

"Jill! Come to the bathroom with me!"

Jill looked over to see Hilton standing down on the gym floor at the end of Jill's row. "I can't, I don't wanna lose our seats."

"No, you have to come now!"

Jill looked at Hilton in alarm. What the hell was going on? Hilton didn't really look upset, but something huge must be happening. Jill squeezed through her row to the steps, then darted down and ran around the side of the bleachers to meet Hilton.

Hilton walked hurriedly out of the gym, not looking back at Jill till they were in the health hallway, away from all the people and noise.

"Why are we going all the way down here? What's going on?"

Hilton glanced around, then in a low voice began repeating Brooke's story for Jill. Jill listened in shock.

" _What?!_ " she cried when Hilton was done. " _Andy?_ And _Kara Darson_? What a fucking bitch! I can't believe Andy would do that either! That's so depressing! I always thought they were like, the perfect couple!"

"I know!" Hilton shook her head. "Dude, if Andy cheats, what guy _doesn't_?"

"Oh, I'm sure Landon doesn't."

"He fucking better not ever."

***

Jill felt a rush as she jumped on the bleachers with the rest of the student section in time to the pounding drums. She loved basketball games, and this was her favorite part. She also loved how mean the BC student section was to the visiting teams. As Logan North's starting lineup had been announced, the whole student section had stood with their backs to the floor, and Jill knew they'd just get ruder as the game went on. She couldn't wait.

"STARTING AT ONE GUARD..." Mr. O'Malley's voice boomed over the drums, almost in slow motion, "A 5'11 SENIOR, NUMBER TWELVE, KYLE JEFFRIES!" Mr. O'Malley was a guidance counselor and always announced the basketball games. The sound of his thundering voice along with the drums always gave Jill a huge adrenaline rush and excited chills. She could feel the noise from the drums vibrating through her whole body and the whole gym. She absolutely loved it. "STARTING AT TWO GUARD, A 6'0 JUNIOR, NUMBER SIXXXTEEEN, LANDON KESSLER!"

Landon sprinted onto the floor, throwing a T-shirt up into the crowd. Tiffany did a tumbling pass, and Kayley Bradbury, who was up in a lift, unrolled a banner reading KESSLER in large green letters.

"STARTING AT ONE FORWARD, A 6'2 JUNIOR, NUMBER TWENTY, REED MITCHELL!"

Jill giggled and had to catch herself before she fell off her bleacher. She managed to do so without having to stop jumping up and down. Every time Reed was introduced, Jill just thought about why Hilton had broken up with him. She followed his T-shirt as it flew through the air. Someone just across the aisle from the student section caught it.

Suddenly Jill did a double-take. She thought she'd seen Kara Darson a couple rows back. She'd spent half the JV game watching Todd and the other half looking for Kara, but she hadn't spotted her. But now...yep...there she was. Jill glared at her, even though Kara wasn't looking. Who the hell did she think she was? What a little bitch!

Jill looked for Brooke. She was just coming down from her lift; she held the banner for Carl Litschfield, the center. Hilton had told Jill about Brooke's threat to kick Kara's ass, and neither Hilton nor Jill doubted for a second that Brooke would start something. Jill couldn't wait to go tell Hilton Kara was here.

The basketball team huddled together in the middle of the floor, then they all threw their hands in the air and shouted, " _CHARGERS!_ "

BC's five starters moved into position around the ref to prepare for the tip-off. The drumming ended and Jill joined the rest of the student section in pointing toward Logan North's players and screaming, "We're gonna beat the HELL outta you! Yeah, you! Yeah, you! Yeah, you, you, YOU!" She smiled as she lowered her finger. That was so fun. Then the ref tossed the ball, and Kara was temporarily forgotten.

***

"She's here, she's here!" Jill said breathlessly after the game. She'd rushed down to tell Hilton, trying not to lose sight of Kara. "Look, she's on her way out!" Jill pointed.

Hilton followed Jill's finger, then looked around for Brooke. "Oh, shit! She already saw her!" Now Hilton pointed.

Brooke stormed purposefully after Kara, shoving through the gym door and out into the front lobby.

Hilton and Jill raised their eyebrows at each other, grinning in half-guilty anticipation.

"Come on, let's go!" Hilton grabbed Jill's arm, and they rushed after Brooke.

They caught up with her outside. It was freezing. Jill shivered and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Her coat was in the coat check.

Brooke didn't even glance at Jill and Hilton but jogged a couple steps ahead to catch Kara and grabbed her arm from behind. "Hey!"

Kara turned around in surprise.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Brooke snapped, a hard glint in her eyes. Jill could see her face clearly in the lights framing the gym entrance.

"What?" Kara glanced away, trying to look confused, but Jill could tell she was panicking. Jill didn't have any classes with Kara this year, and for the first time she noticed how much prettier Kara had gotten since last year, now that she'd lost the glasses and gotten a cute haircut and started wearing makeup.

"What?" Brooke imitated loudly and rudely. "Don't even fucking pretend you don't know what I'm talking about."

"I-, I don't," Kara stammered.

Jill felt someone come up behind her and Hilton, and she turned to see Hillary and Ashley, out of breath and looking eagerly at Brooke and Kara. Some other cheerleaders, including Tiffany, Stacy, and Blake Bishop, had come out too. Jill turned back to the fight.

"Oh, you don't? Did it slip your memory? 'Cause it seems to me like you're pretty desperate for people to know you hooked up with my best friend's boyfriend. You wanted to get caught, didn't you? So everybody would know that you, a fucking pathetic little loser, hooked up with a hot guy who would never date you in ten million years. Did you even think about what you were doing? Lindy's the nicest girl you'll ever meet, and one of the most popular girls at this _school_. Do you know what you fucked with? Not only will everyone at this school hate you even more than they already do, but when you mess with Lindy, you mess with me. And she may be nice, but I'm a bitch." Brooke stepped closer to Kara, practically spitting out the words in a low, nasty hiss. "I will make your life a living hell. Let me give you a little preview. I'll probably start by telling everybody that Andy told Matt you were the worst kisser _ever_ , and you stuff your bra and he went home laughing." Then Brooke reached back and slapped Kara across the cheek.

The sound echoed through the still night as Jill stared in disbelief. Brooke turned and walked back into the school, her head held high. Kara took off running across the parking lot.

Jill stared after Kara a moment, then looked at Hilton. No one had moved since the slap. Hilton was holding back a laugh. When Jill's eyes met hers, they both lost it. Then all the other cheerleaders did too.

"That was fucking hilarious!" Blake said.

"She so deserved it!" Hillary agreed. "Brooke was awesome."

### chapter 8) landon's... new year's

"Do you think Andy's gonna come?" Lorylyn asked in a hushed whisper. She and Jill were standing around in Landon's garage, sipping from their keg cups and surveying the scene.

"I don't know if he'd even dare, like, show his face here," Jill said doubtfully. "I mean, his friends are mostly the soccer team...Landon is Lindy's friend. They like grew up together. So Andy would know she was gonna be here....Do you really think he'd come?"

"I don't know, that's a good point. I guess he's not that close with Landon. I didn't think about that. How do Lindy and Landon know each other anyways? 'Cause she's from Brinkley and he's from Caldwell?"

"Hilton said they took swimming lessons together when they were kids. I feel so bad for her," Jill said, motioning in Lindy's direction with her keg cup. Lindy was standing on the other side of the garage, surrounded by Brooke, Tiffany, Stacy, Blake Bishop, Ashley, Amy, Cassidy, Sam, and several other girls. It looked like they were all trying to comfort her...or suck up to her. Suddenly Lindy broke out of the circle and walked to the keg to refill her cup. Brooke followed her.

After filling her cup, Brooke raised it to Lindy's. "Fuck boys," she said. Lindy gave her a weak smile, and they touched their cups together.

"Hey!" Matt said in alarm, overhearing as he approached Brooke from behind and put his arm around her waist.

Brooke rolled her eyes at Lindy and pushed his hand away. "Oh, Matt, leave me alone!" She grabbed Lindy's arm and led her back toward their group of girls.

"What's that about?" Jill looked at Lorylyn in confusion. "They're still together, aren't they?"

"Yeah, and they better stay together!" Lorylyn looked a little worried.

"I'm sure she just wants to be with Lindy and doesn't want him bothering them," Jill said to reassure Lorylyn. "Plus, her and Brady don't even email anymore, right? Didn't you check his email awhile ago?"

Lorylyn shrugged. "Yeah, I've checked it like three or four times. There hasn't been anything in like two or three months, but I don't check it that often, so he could probably be deleting them."

"Yeah, but if he liked her, why would he still be with you? He doesn't act any different, does he?"

"No...things have actually been really good lately. For a while it seemed like he was kinda upset I didn't wanna have sex – I mean like he didn't pressure me or even say anything, but he just seemed bummed whenever I stopped things that it was never gonna go farther – but just the last couple days actually, he's seemed a lot better. Like last night we barely even did anything, 'cause we were at my house, and he was just being all goofy and cute, and I didn't get the impression he was upset I wouldn't do more. 'Cause sometimes, you know, he's like, 'Lorylyn, your parents and Ethan are in bed, why can't we do more?' But I just never feel comfortable doing stuff at my house."

"Yeah, that makes sense. That's good that he seemed cool with it. See, Lor, he likes you so much he doesn't even care about that stuff."

Lorylyn smiled happily. "Well, he cares..."

Jill laughed. "Well, but not that much."

"Yeah."

***

A couple hours later, they were playing spin the bottle in the garage when Lindy suddenly burst into tears, stood up, and ran into the house. Hilton and Landon looked at each other uneasily.

Brooke went running after her.

"Let's go make sure she's okay," Hilton whispered to Landon.

When they got inside, Brooke was pounding on the bathroom door. "Lindy! Let me in!"

No response.

Brooke looked helplessly at Hilton and Landon. "She's so upset."

"We shouldn't have played spin the bottle," Hilton said.

"No, it's fine. She's just drunk, and I thought it would keep her mind off Andy. That was stupid of me; it's my fault. Lindy!" She pounded on the door again. "Come on, hon, let me in!"

"You should go talk to her," Hilton said to Landon.

"What? Why should I go talk to her?"

" 'Cause you're her friend. And you're a guy. All her girlfriends have been telling her Andy's a jerk; it might mean more coming from a guy."

Landon looked doubtful.

"Oh, please, Landon, please!" Brooke chimed in, folding her hands together as if she were praying.

"All right, I can try, I guess." Landon stepped forward and knocked tentatively on the door. "Lindy? It's Landon."

Silence.

"Hey, babe, listen to me, okay? Andy's an asshole. You shouldn't even be upset over a guy who would cheat on you. You deserve so much better than that. Especially you. But if that doesn't make you feel better, I can kick his ass for you. Actually, maybe I'll do that anyway. It sounds kinda fun."

Lindy's sobbing had stopped, and they heard a stifled giggle.

Brooke and Hilton grinned, and Brooke nodded eagerly and gave Landon a thumbs-up.

"So why don't you come out, and I'll make you a nice big drink. The Landon Special. I'm not really sure what that is, but I'll make it just for you."

Lindy giggled again, and finally she opened the door and stepped out, wiping her eyes. "Thanks, Landon."

"Hey, no prob." He pulled Lindy into his arms and hugged her tightly.

She held on a moment, then backed away, wiping her eyes again. She smiled sheepishly at Hilton and Brooke. "Sorry you guys have to deal with me."

"Oh, don't feel bad," Hilton said. "I'm sorry you had to deal with Andy. But Landon's right. You're so much better than him."

"Thanks." Lindy smiled and came over to hug Hilton.

Then Brooke took Lindy's arm and led her into the kitchen. "Let's go get that Landon Special, okay?"

***

"Are you kissing Jill at midnight?" Bennett asked Todd.

"Um, if she draws me." Todd gave him a puzzled look.

"Oh, so you're gonna put your name in the hat? I thought you might just kiss her so you don't get some nasty chick." He laughed.

"Oh." Todd wrinkled his nose. "Dude, I didn't even think of that." He looked around, surveying the garage to see who all was here. "There's some cute single chicks."

"Yeah, dude, that'd be sweet if you got like Cassidy Nichols. Or Blake Bishop."

"Eh, I kissed her last year. Not that great. Cassidy'd be pretty tight though."

"I don't know, I heard she gets around." Bennett looked at Todd, laughter in his eyes.

"Dude, shut up." Todd laughed and punched Bennett's shoulder. "You know that's not what I meant. She'd probably be tighter than Kelsey though."

"Oh, not cool." Bennett swung at Todd jokingly, and Todd laughed and ducked out of the way.

"I don't know though," Todd said more seriously, looking around again. "Do you think I should just kiss Jill?"

"I don't know, man. Do whatever you want. Do you like her?"

"Well, I mean she's hot and everything, but I don't like her like that."

"Well, then I'd just take my chances. You could get somebody you like better."

"Yeah, but I don't like anybody else either."

"Well, it's like 11:30, so you're gonna have to decide soon."

***

Lindy's idea that Jill kiss Todd at midnight had been on Jill's mind all night, but she'd been too afraid to suggest it to Todd. Instead, at about 11:40, she went to find him, hoping that if they were together when they went inside for the drawing ceremony, he might think of it and suggest it.

"Hey, Todd," she said, walking up and sliding her arm through his.

"Hey, Jilly."

Just then the door to the house opened and Landon called, "It's time for the drawing ceremony. Tell anybody who's out in the driveway."

Jill followed Bennett and Kelsey and Todd inside, thanking God for her perfect timing and praying Todd wouldn't put his name in the hat. She was nervous as hell. She wanted this so badly, and she knew she'd be totally bummed if it didn't work out.

Bennett and Kelsey sat down on the couch, and Todd and Jill squeezed in next to them.

"The slips of paper are right here," Landon said, pointing to the coffee table. "I need all you single guys up here."

Todd put his arm around Jill. "Wanna be my date, Jilly?" he asked. "I'm too lazy to get up."

"Sure, I guess so," Jill said, trying to sound casual. Her insides were dancing and bouncing all over the place. She couldn't believe this was actually happening.

As the boys put their names in the hat and the girls got in line to draw, Jill realized how stress-free it felt to be part of a "couple" and not to have to worry about whom she would draw. It was relaxing. She sighed contentedly and leaned back against Todd's arm, watching the girls draw and thinking how glad she was to be right here. She noticed Lindy wasn't in line and looked to see where she was. She was standing by Brooke and Matt. Hilton caught Jill's eye across the room and gave her an excited look. Jill tried to ignore her, not wanting Todd to notice, but she couldn't help grinning a little.

By the time everyone had drawn, there were only a couple minutes left till midnight. Jill was starting to get nervous about the kiss. Did Todd expect it to just be a peck? Or was he really going to kiss her? Should she just kiss him quickly and pull away so as not to end up humiliating herself? But then she might miss out on a really good kiss. But if she didn't pull away right away, he might be like, "What the hell are you doing, Jill?" So much for this being stress-free!

As the ball dropped, somebody sprayed Silly String into the middle of the room. It got all over Landon and Hilton and some other people. Jill laughed, then turned to Todd. She was afraid to look him in the eyes, so she focused on his lips.

He reached behind her head and pulled it to his, making a loud smacking sound as he touched his lips to hers. He was grinning as he pulled away. "Happy New Year's, Jilly."

Jill giggled, feeling thrilled and disappointed at the same time. She'd gotten to kiss him at midnight, but it hadn't been the kiss she'd hoped for...

As she looked around at the actual couples, most of them were still kissing. Bennett and Kelsey, Dirk and Hillary, Hilton and Landon, Lorylyn and Brady....Lindy was laughing, and Brooke and Matt kissed quickly, no longer than Jill and Todd had kissed. Jill realized Brooke had probably told Matt to kiss Lindy first.

Aww, that's cute, she thought. Brooke really is being a good friend to Lindy. She's really not so bad at all.

And neither was this New Year's...it beat last year's by a landslide.

### chapter 9) so naive

"It's so weird driving to school!" Jill said on Monday, the first day back, when she met Hilton in their usual spot by the commons before school.

"Yeah, it was weird not picking you up!"

"I know! I'm gonna miss our story time!"

"I know!" Hilton made a pouty face. "You should still ride with me."

"Okay...I guess I could just drive if we have a different practice schedule, or if I like have a meet and wanna go home for a while after school or something."

"Okay! Sounds good! Hey, have you heard people talking about Lindy and Andy and Kara? It's all over school already. Everyone's calling Kara a total bitch. I heard some guys saying they heard she was a horrible kisser too." Hilton giggled. "Brooke kept her word."

"Good. Kara deserves it. I'd hate to be her right now!"

***

"So guess what I might be doing this summer?" Brady asked Lorylyn the second day back to school when he met her in the hall after first period. He slung his arm around her neck as they headed for her locker.

"What?" Lorylyn asked, putting her arm around his waist and giving him a curious smile. He seemed really excited, and she wondered what could've come up since before school, when they'd all sat outside the coat check room by the commons and talked like normal. Brady hadn't mentioned anything about this summer then.

"Going to Spain." He grinned down at her.

"What?" Lorylyn pulled back. "For the whole summer?"

Brady laughed and drew her close again. "No, just for like two or three weeks. The Spanish Club's going. Mrs. Martin just told us today in class."

"Oh...well I guess that's cool. Who's all going?"

"Oh, I have no clue. It's open to anybody in Spanish Club. She can take a bunch of people. It's like open to parents and stuff too. That's like the whole reason I joined Spanish Club though. 'Cause they took a trip a few years ago. She just didn't know when she'd be able to go again, 'cause of the money and stuff, but she said she was able to pull it all together over Christmas break."

"Oh." Lorylyn wasn't even close to thrilled. But you can't get upset yet, she told herself. You don't even know if Brooke's interested. She may not even be considering going. And Brady might not go either. It probably costs tons of money, and he's not the richest. It'll be fine. Just wait and see what happens.

***

"Dude, that girl is _hot_ ," Todd said. He and Jill were sitting in advanced computers, waiting for class to start.

Jill was immediately jealous and looked to see whom Todd was talking about. It was a skinny blonde girl with big boobs.

"Who is that?" Todd asked.

"Um, I think her name's Melanie," Jill said dismissively. "She sits at my lunch table on green days now." Yesterday when Jill had entered the cafeteria, Kelsey had called for Jill to come sit with her and her friends, and Jill was relieved to be away from the table she'd sat at last semester with all the older cheerleaders; it was so boring since she wasn't part of their drama or stories.

"Dude, she's so hot. You should hook me up."

Jill's stomach clenched. How could Todd be saying this to her?! "Yeah, well I don't even really know her. She's a freshman." Jill knew more than she was letting on; her name was Melanie Pharrell, and she'd gone to BJ. Jill had known who she was for years but never talked to her before yesterday at lunch. She was on the swim team. Jill thought she also remembered hearing her name during cross-country season, as the only freshman to earn a varsity letter.

"Well, you should get to know her. Sit by her in here on Thursday. And talk to her at lunch."

Jill felt sick. Todd was partly joking, but he was also partly serious. She'd switched into this class to be with him, and he was telling her she should go sit by some other girl so she could hook him up. She'd planned on this class once again being _her_ time with Todd, where they could sit by each other and joke around and talk and email each other, and it was like a punch in the stomach to realize he obviously couldn't care less about any of that. All this year she'd been thinking they were so close to having something happen between them, and she'd felt like he cared about her so much, and now it was like she'd had the wind knocked out of her.

How could she have been so stupid?! She'd gotten so caught up in all the sweet stuff Todd said to her, and she'd read _way_ too much into it. She'd had that gut instinct several times that it was all too good to last, but she'd ignored it and let herself fall harder and harder for him. She felt humiliated and panicked and devastated.

And now this class was ruined; if Todd talked about Melanie every day, Jill didn't know what she'd do. She might seriously have to drop the class.

***

"I might drop advanced computers," Jill said to Hilton on Thursday. It was SRT, and they were on their way to Ms. Kirkwood's room so Hilton could ask her a question about mythology. Jill, who was in children's lit now, no longer had Ms. Kirkwood, but had told her SRT teacher she was in myth too and had the same question as Hilton.

"Why?" Hilton asked, giving Jill a surprised look.

"Todd brought up Melanie again today. I can't stand it! It's sooo annoying! And I think he seriously wants me to sit by her in there and talk to her for him! I can't stand the way he's being. And if I drop, maybe the whole situation will go away; I doubt he'll ever talk to her by himself."

"Yeah, but he could still ask you to talk to her at lunch." Hilton looked at Jill. "I doubt he's that serious though. I mean, he's never seen her before this week, so yeah, he thinks she's hot, but he'll be over it in like a week. You could always tell him you talked to her and she wasn't interested." Hilton grinned sideways.

Jill grinned back. "Yeah, I guess I could. I mean, I don't really wanna drop that class, but it just totally sucks right now. I loved that class last semester and now I hate it."

They had reached Ms. Kirkwood's room, so their conversation ended as they opened the door and entered.

Ms. Kirkwood looked up from her desk. "Hi, Hilton! Hi, Jill! What are you girls doing here?"

"I have a question about the assignment for this weekend," Hilton said.

"And I just came to visit," Jill said. "I miss this class."

"What do you have this semester?"

"Children's lit."

"Oh, that's fun!"

"Yeah, I really like it. I wish this class and that one both went all year."

Ms. Kirkwood smiled, then turned to Hilton.

As they discussed the homework, Jill looked around Ms. Kirkwood's room. She had a freshman section of SRT. Jill recognized a few of the kids, but there was no one she knew really well. The students were spread all over the room – several on computers, a few at desks working, others in beanbags reading or talking.

"Your SRT is awesome," Jill said when Hilton was finished. "I wish I was in here!"

Ms. Kirkwood laughed. "Why's that?"

" 'Cause it's fun!" Jill motioned around the room. "Ours sucks."

"Well, you girls are welcome to stay for as long as you like today. Just pretend it took awhile for me to answer your question." She smiled at the girls again, then turned to another student who had just approached.

"Yay!" Hilton said. "Let's stay!" She led Jill to the back of the room, where they sat down against the storage cabinets. "Ms. Kirkwood rocks!"

***

On Monday, SRT had just started when an office messenger came in and delivered a pass to Mrs. Sellers.

"Hilton, Jill," Mrs. Sellers called, holding out the pass.

Hilton and Jill looked at each other, frowning in confusion. Hilton shrugged and went up to get the pass. Jill followed.

"Oh, it's from Ms. Kirkwood!" Hilton whispered. "I wonder what she wants!"

Jill and Hilton hurried through the building to Ms. Kirkwood's room. When they got there, she was talking to another student, so they waited by her desk.

"Hi, girls," she said when the other student returned to his seat. "I have a little proposition for you. I know you don't like your SRT, and I could really use some help down here with grading and filing and some other stuff like that. So if you'd like to help me out with some of that stuff, you could come in here for SRT every day. And you'd still have a lot of extra time left, if you need to do homework or wanna get on the computer or whatever."

Hilton and Jill looked at each other excitedly.

"Is that allowed?" Hilton asked.

"Technically, no. We're not allowed to have student assistants. They used to let us my first year teaching here, before SRT existed. Then students could be assigned to a teacher during their study hall and go to that teacher's room and help out with stuff, rather than sitting in the cafeteria or a lecture hall. But that was when everybody's study hall was different. Now that the whole school has SRT at the same time, they did away with the student assistants because they thought everyone would wanna do it, and they'd either have way too many assistants for teachers to even handle, or if they limited each teacher to one or two, everyone who didn't get to do it would be upset, and then they'd start getting nasty calls from parents, and so on and so forth. So if anyone asks, you're coming here to tutor some of the freshmen."

Hilton and Jill looked at each other again, grins spreading across their faces.

"Are you serious?!" Jill asked. "That's awesome! Thanks so much, Ms. Kirkwood!"

"Just make sure you don't tell anybody," Ms. Kirkwood warned.

"We won't!" Hilton said. "Thank you! So is there anything you want us to do today?"

"No, not really. I'll think before next time of some stuff you can do. I already graded today's quizzes; that's when I thought of this idea. So go ahead and do what you'd like today."

"Thank you so much," Jill said again. "We'll do whatever you need. This is awesome."

***

After school a few weeks later, Hilton had just finished dressing for cheerleading practice and was using the bathroom before leaving the locker room. She was trying to hurry a little; she'd spent extra time talking to Landon after school since he didn't have practice until six, and now she was running late. Most of the other girls had already headed downstairs.

"They're all so naive," she heard a voice say. She froze, trying to listen. This sounded sort of interesting. It sounded like Stacy who'd said that.

"Who?" That was definitely Blake Bishop's voice.

"Lindy, Brooke, all of them. It's just so funny that they have no fucking clue."

Hilton heard muffled giggles.

Then Blake asked, "Why Brooke? Her and Matt broke up."

Then it was silent, but it was the kind of silence where Hilton could tell meaningful looks were passing between the girls. Then there were more giggles and Blake said, " _Oohhh_ , duh!" Damn it! Hilton wished she could see them!

She waited until she was sure they'd left the locker room, then she came out of her stall and went to wash her hands. She was pretty sure it'd been Stacy, Tiffany, and Blake. She had no clue what they'd been talking about, but it didn't sound good. She tried to piece it together a little. They'd said Lindy and Brooke had no fucking clue...well, Andy had been cheating on Lindy...maybe Matt had been cheating on Brooke too? Hilton frowned. That seemed doubtful; Brooke had always seemed in total control of that relationship. She shrugged at her reflection, hoping it wasn't anything too bad, and left the locker room.

***

"Are you doing this?" Brady whispered to Brooke in Spanish II the first week of February. Mrs. Martin was showing a slide show of Spain.

"I don't know," Brooke whispered back. "My parents haven't decided. I think my mom thinks I should go, but my step-dad doesn't wanna spend the money. I think my mom's talking to my dad about it though, to see if he'd contribute some." Brooke's parents had gotten divorced when she was three, and her real dad lived in Chicago now. She considered her step-dad more her actual dad, since she couldn't remember ever living with her real dad and didn't see him much. Whenever she referred to her "parents," she meant her mom and step-dad. "Are you going?"

"Yeah. My parents said I could go if I get a job."

"Have you found a job yet?"

"No, but I filled out an application at Foot Locker and one at the pretzel place in the mall."

Brooke giggled. " _You're_ gonna make pretzels? That'd be cute."

"Oh, shut up."

Brooke sat back in her desk, thinking. If Brady was definitely going, she _had_ to go. It'd be three weeks of just the two of them...well, and twenty other people. But still, Lorylyn wouldn't be there. And Brooke didn't have to worry about Matt anymore.

She'd waited a couple weeks after New Year's to break up with him, so that way Brady wouldn't think she'd done it just because she was sleeping with him again. She wished she hadn't told Brady Matt was bad. Oh well. Things were actually going great with Brady. They'd reached a really good place, she thought, where it felt like they were as good of friends as they'd been at the beginning of sophomore year, before Lorylyn entered the picture. When he'd first started cheating on Lorylyn with her, Brady had made it very clear it was just about the sex, and he'd basically ignored her at school. He'd also said a lot of hurtful things to her that made it hard to talk to him at all, but now they talked all the time and he didn't seem to care that people knew they were friends. Brooke wondered what Lorylyn thought. Oh well...she didn't care. As long as Lorylyn didn't tell him to stop hanging out with her. And she didn't think Brady would stop anyway, even if Lorylyn did tell him to.

_Finally_ Brooke felt like she might be closer to getting Brady. He'd liked her at the beginning of sophomore year, and their friendship now was getting back to what it'd been then, so she felt confident he might start to like her again.

### chapter 10) jilly bean

So I entered the jelly bean contest at lunch. I think I'm gonna win

Jill laughed and looked over at Todd as she read his email. They were in advanced computers. Jill had decided not to drop, and she was extremely glad now. Todd seemed to have forgotten the Melanie thing, just like Hilton had thought he would. He hadn't mentioned her since probably the second week back to school. Melanie sat all the way across the room with some of her freshman friends, and Jill was getting the Jill-and-Todd time she'd hoped for in this class.

How many did you guess?

Can't tell. wouldn't want jilly bean cheating in the jelly bean contest. :D

ahahahahahahahahahahahaha you're so funny

Just then the bell rang, and Jill and Todd got up to walk to lunch.

"That was so dumb," Jill told him, laughing.

"Whatever. That's your new name. Jilly Bean."

"Whatever."

"Hey, Lorylyn, this is Jilly Bean," Todd said as they approached their table a couple minutes later. He ruffled Jill's hair, and she jumped away from him.

"Jilly Bean?"

Jill rolled her eyes at Lorylyn as Todd explained.

"Oh." Lorylyn raised her eyebrows and nodded her head, trying not to laugh.

"Hey, guys!" Hilton placed a large Tupperware container in the middle of the table and sat down. "I brought brownies! My mom made a bunch last night, and she let me bring some to school."

"Yay!" Lorylyn and Jill both reached for the container.

"Where's Brady and Bennett?" Jill asked.

"Bennett had an ortho appointment," Todd said.

"Brady's in the bathroom," Lorylyn replied. "Oh, there he comes."

"Hey, man," Todd said as Brady sat down. "What's up?"

"Oh, not much. I start my new job tonight though."

"Oh, where'd you end up at?"

"Foot Locker," Lorylyn said. "I'm kinda disappointed. I was hoping to be able to go to the mall and see him in an apron and a cute little chef's hat, making pretzels." She grinned and leaned away as Brady tried to mess up her hair.

"So you get to go to Spain for sure then?" Hilton asked.

"Yep."

Lorylyn gave Hilton a displeased look that Brady couldn't see.

"Who's all going?" Hilton asked.

"I don't really know yet," Brady said. "Only like a few people have turned in their forms so far. Mrs. Martin said Cassidy and Sam are going, and that Kara Darson girl, and some other girl I didn't know."

Jill wrinkled her nose. "Eww, Kara Darson? Fun."

"Is she still hooking up with Andy?" Lorylyn asked.

"Dude, I have no clue," Hilton said, taking a huge bite of a brownie. "Who even wants to know about that shit. I saw her walking in the hallway last week though, and people were still pointing to her and whispering. She's definitely not getting the kind of attention she hoped for...how pathetic." Hilton shook her head.

"He didn't even try that hard to get Lindy back," Lorylyn said in disgust. She and Jill had heard a little bit from Lindy at gymnastics.

"Well, I think it's more just that she won't even talk to him," Jill said. "So what can he really do to try to get her back if she won't even talk to him?"

"I don't know," Lorylyn said. "Like some sweet romantic gesture. Like what Brady did for me." She smiled at him. Last year on Valentine's Day, Brady had surprised Lorylyn at Landon's party by making a heart in the driveway out of rose petals and chocolate icing and giving her his class ring.

Brady grinned and nodded, his nose in the air. "Oh, yeah...I'm the master. Best boyfriend ever, right here."

Everyone laughed.

"I'm glad she won't talk to him," Hilton said. "They shouldn't get back together. She shouldn't be with a guy like that."

"I agree," Jill said, nodding.

" _I agree,_ " Todd mimicked, picking up Jill's brownie and shoving it at her face. There was a thick layer of chocolate frosting on it, and it smeared all over Jill's lips and chin.

"Todd!" Jill grabbed the brownie from his hand and tried to shove it back at his face, but he blocked her, getting the frosting all over his hand instead.

"Oh, you're gonna regret that." He grabbed another brownie from the box and went after Jill's hair. She shrieked and ducked her head, raising her hands to defend herself.

"Todd! Stop it!" Lorylyn cried.

Without warning, Todd turned and threw the brownie at her. It hit her right in the nose, then slid down her face.

Everyone stared, shocked. Then they all burst out laughing.

"Oh, you asked for it, Todd!" Lorylyn grabbed another brownie from the box and winged it at him, but he was too quick and leaned out of the way. The brownie sailed past him and hit the floor.

"Oh, shit!" Lorylyn giggled, her nose and chin still covered in frosting.

"Babe, what are you doing?!" Brady asked, wiping her nose with his finger and licking the frosting. "Mmm, good."

"Brady, stop it!" Lorylyn giggled again.

Todd had grabbed another brownie and threw this one at Hilton, who leaned to the side just in time. The brownie hit the back of her chair, and she jumped up, grabbing another one and chucking it at Brady. Brady was still looking at Lorylyn, and it hit him right in the face.

"Hey!"

"Hey!" a second voice echoed.

Everyone at the table looked up. It was Mr. Preston, the dean of students. Jill's eyes widened.

"What's going on here?" Mr. Preston asked.

"Ummm..."

"This is ridiculous; you should know not to be throwing food in the lunchroom. This isn't third grade. This needs to be cleaned up before D lunch comes in, and then you can all come back during SRT to clean the rest of the cafeteria." He turned and walked away.

Everyone at the table looked at each other, then they all burst out laughing. Jill was thrilled. Now she'd get to spend SRT with Todd.

***

"That was so fun," Hilton said during SRT. She and Jill were mopping the cafeteria floor, and Brady, Todd, and Lorylyn were wiping off tables.

"Oh, yeah, totally worth it," Jill said, giggling.

Mr. Preston had met them in the cafeteria at the beginning of SRT and led them to a janitor's closet, where he'd loaded them up with cleaning supplies. But then he'd left them on their own, and Jill thought this was the best punishment ever. They were sticking together, all working on the same area of the cafeteria, and they'd already decided to stay in here the whole time and act like they were still cleaning if someone came in.

"Hey, is Landon having a Valentine's Day party this weekend?" Lorylyn asked Hilton.

"What day's Valentine's Day?" Todd asked.

"Sunday. No, he's not, 'cause they have basketball games both Friday and Saturday."

"Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot."

"Are you going to the game Saturday night?" Jill asked Lorylyn. Saturday the gymnastics team had the Pike Invite, two hours away, so by the time they got home Jill would be late to the game, which was at Woodland. So she was hoping Lorylyn might want to go with her.

"Um, it's away, right? And Friday's is home? Probably not. I'll probably just hang out with Brady for a little, and not stay out too late, 'cause we're going out to dinner on Sunday for Valentine's Day." She motioned between herself and Brady. "Plus we have to get up so damn early for the Pike Invite...and the dance the night before...I'll probably be dead."

"Yeah..." Jill said, disappointed. "Maybe I can get Kels to go with me. And Rachel or something."

"Yeah, I bet you could." As Lorylyn moved over to wipe off the next table, she slipped on a spot Jill had just mopped. "Aaahhh!" she squealed as she struggled to keep her balance. She grabbed onto the table, but that just pulled her down, and she ended up sitting on her butt.

Everyone burst out laughing.

"Shut up!" Lorylyn said, throwing her rag at Brady with a grin. He caught it as Lorylyn used the table to pull herself to her feet.

"Careful with that table," Brady teased. "I don't think it likes you."

Lorylyn flipped him off, and Jill and Hilton laughed even harder. Lorylyn giggled too.

"Hey, let's have a contest!" Todd said. "Let's see who can slide the farthest!"

"Okay!" Hilton said eagerly. She leaned her mop against a table and did a practice slide across the wet floor. "Wooo! That was fun!"

"Coach Tanner would kill us!" Jill said, giggling as she practiced too. " 'Girls, you're going to hurt yourselves'...ooh, that was fun!"

"Stop cheating!" Todd said. "No practicing. Okay, here's the start, and...here's the finish." He set Hilton's mop against one table as the starting line, and Jill's mop against another table as the finish line.

"I thought we were seeing who could go the farthest, not racing," Hilton said.

"Oh, well we'll do both. We'll race first. The rule is you have to come to a complete stop before you're allowed to start your next slide. Okay? Hold on, it's getting dry too fast. Here." He splashed some water on the ground and quickly mopped over it to spread it out, then replaced the mop at the finish line. "Okay, everybody line up."

They took their positions, and Jill giggled. She couldn't believe they were doing this.

"Ready...get set...GO!" Todd shouted, and they all took off sliding across the floor.

"I win!" Brady called, raising his arms in victory.

"You cheated!" Lorylyn said. "You didn't stop completely after each slide!"

"Yeah, and I don't think it's fair that Todd says ready, set, go when he's in the race," Jill said.

"Well, who else are we gonna get, Jilly Bean, Mr. Preston?"

Jill laughed. "Okay, never mind."

"All right, now it's time to see who can go the farthest."

"Wait! We need to redo that race! Brady cheated." Hilton stood with her hands on her hips, trying to look pissed. She couldn't do it and started laughing.

"Okay, okay, you poor losers, redo," Brady said.

They all laughed and lined up again.

### chapter 11) you know what you're doing a lot

"That was so fun today in SRT," Jill said to Lorylyn at gymnastics practice.

"I know. I wish we got to all hang out every day."

"I know!"

"Hey, would you do me a favor? You have children's lit with Brooke, right?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you ask her if she's going to Spain? I've been wanting to know this whole time, and it's driving me crazy, but I don't wanna come right out and ask Brady, you know? 'Cause if she's not, then I would've made a big deal out of it and looked jealous over nothing."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Like just bring it up casually, you know?"

"Yeah. I'll do it tomorrow."

"Thanks."

***

"She said she might be," Jill reported to Lorylyn the next afternoon in Algebra II. "She doesn't know 'cause of the money."

"Oh," Lorylyn said, sounding relieved. "So she doesn't think you asked 'cause of me or anything, does she?"

"Oh, no...I just started talking to her before class and told her I heard Cassidy and Sam were going to Spain and asked if she was. I don't think she made the connection at all."

"Okay, good."

***

The gymnastics team didn't get back from the Pike Invite until six Saturday evening. By the time Jill would've showered and driven to Woodland, it'd have been at least 7:30 or eight, and the varsity game would have already started. Plus, she didn't want to show up alone. Kelsey hadn't wanted to wait for her, because she didn't want to miss the JV game and seeing Bennett play, and Rachel had already had plans to go to one of her friend's houses. So Jill just decided to stay home and read one of her Nora Roberts books.

She was bummed though, because all her friends were out at the game or hanging out with their boyfriends, and they'd all be going out for Valentine's Day tomorrow too. Jill had thought Valentine's Day wouldn't be a big deal this year since it was on a Sunday; last year she'd had to sit at home on a Saturday night. But here she was again, sitting at home alone on a Saturday. She tried to console herself by remembering how fun the dance had been last night; Todd hadn't come, of course, but she'd slow-danced with Detter twice, and that was always fun. But that didn't help much, so she tried to lose herself in her book instead. She just wanted it to be Monday so this stupid holiday would be over.

***

Landon took Hilton to Don Pablo's in Logan for Valentine's Day since it was her favorite restaurant. It was a surprise; she hadn't known where they were going.

"Aww, yay, Landon, I love it!" She clapped excitedly as they pulled into the parking lot.

"Really? I did okay?"

"Of course! It's my favorite!"

"Yeah, but I thought you might want something more fancy for Valentine's Day."

"Oh, I don't care about that. I just wanna go out with you and have fun; that's all that matters."

"Okay, well that's what I thought you'd want. I just didn't want you to be disappointed. I wanna be a good boyfriend."

Hilton laughed. "Of course I'm not disappointed." She kissed him. "This is perfect." You're perfect, she added silently.

Landon smiled. "Yeah! See, I know what I'm doing a little bit."

Hilton laughed. He was always trying to impress her by doing sweet things, and he also always told her about good grades he got, or compliments his basketball coach gave him, or how he was going to work out a lot this summer and try to get more buff. She already thought he was perfect; he was smart and funny and a good athlete with a gorgeous body who treated her like a princess, and normally he was confident and sure of himself. But she thought it was so cute and sweet the way he was less confident around her and always tried to build himself up in her eyes. She'd seen other guys with Landon's looks and athletic abilities and confidence be cocky with their girlfriends and treat them like shit, so Landon's behavior showed her that he really cared and wanted her to think highly of him, and that he didn't take her for granted.

"You know what you're doing a lot," she told him, kissing him again before they got out of the car.

***

"Hey, is Landon going to prom?" Lorylyn asked Hilton a couple weeks later in their geography class.

"Hmm, I don't know. I hadn't even thought of that. Why? Is Brady going?"

"Well, I don't know. Tiffany asked him, but he told her no."

" _What?_ " Hilton asked with a smirk. "Why would she ask him?"

Lorylyn shrugged. "I don't know. I guess just 'cause she doesn't have a date, so she just wanted to go as friends or whatever. But he said he didn't wanna go with her 'cause she's kinda annoying and a bitch." Lorylyn giggled. "Isn't that funny?"

"Yeah, and true. I still can't believe she asked him. That's kinda shitty. She should've asked you first. You don't just go ask a guy who has a girlfriend." Sophomores weren't allowed to go to the prom at Brinkley-Caldwell, even if upperclassmen asked them. It was strictly for juniors and seniors.

Lorylyn shrugged again. "Whatever. I'm just glad he said no. But now I wonder if he'll go with somebody else. I asked him if he wanted to go, and he just kinda shrugged and said he didn't really care. I wish we could go! It's so not fair! Like every other school lets younger kids go if they get asked."

"Yeah, but we'll be glad next year that they can't come."

"Yeah...I guess that's true."

"So would you care if he went?"

"Well...as long as it wasn't with somebody like Tiffany, I guess it'd be okay."

"Or Brooke," Hilton said with a grin.

Lorylyn shuddered. "Hell no. He sure as hell better not go with her."

"Oh, he won't. You know he wouldn't do that to you."

"I know."

***

"Are you gonna go to prom?" Hilton asked Landon that night. They were at his house watching a movie.

Landon looked at her in surprise. Hilton was lying against his chest. She shifted under the blanket and looked up at him. "What?" she said in response to his stare.

"Well...no. Why would I go to prom? You can't go."

"Well, I know, but some juniors who are dating younger people go with somebody just as friends."

"Yeah, but that's stupid. I don't wanna go."

"Why not? I would if I were you."

"Yeah, but you're a girl. Guys don't care about prom and shit like that."

"Well, I think you should ask Lindy." Hilton waited for his reaction.

"What? Why?" Landon stared at her as if she were crazy.

" 'Cause! She hasn't dated anybody since Andy, and you guys are good friends. I think you'd have a lot of fun, and I'm sure she'd be glad if you asked her. That way she wouldn't have to worry about going with some guy she didn't like and having him think they were gonna hook up, and plus, she deserves to have a good prom. I hope Andy doesn't even get a date." Hilton wrinkled her nose.

"I don't know..."

"Oh, come on, Landon! You know you'll have a good time. You've known her since you were like five. Do it for me. Please?"

"Why do you care so much?"

" 'Cause she's my friend. And I don't want you to look back and feel like you missed out on prom 'cause of me."

"Hilton, you know I'd never feel like that. But all right...I guess I'll ask her..."

"Yay!" Hilton kissed him. "I'm so excited!"

"It's kinda weird that you're excited 'cause I'm asking another girl to prom."

Hilton laughed. "Oh, you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know, I'm just teasin'." Landon ruffled her hair, then leaned down and kissed her again. "You're right, it'll probably be pretty fun."

***

"Aww, Landon asked you to prom?" Brooke said on Sunday afternoon. Lindy had just called her and told her. "That's so sweet. He's such a good friend."

"I know. So is Hilton. And I'm excited, it'll be so fun. And now I don't have to worry about finding a date. Plus, I'm not ready to date anybody else yet, you know, so now I don't have to worry about going with some guy who thinks something's gonna happen between us."

"Yeah. That's awesome. I'm so excited for you!"

"You know what would be really fun?" Lindy said wistfully. "If you went with Brady. Like, if things were how they were a couple summers ago. I mean, I know you guys aren't really even friends anymore, and that'd be really shitty to do to Lorylyn, and it obviously can't even happen, but when Landon asked me I was just thinking about how the four of us used to hang out a lot that one summer."

"Oh...yeah! That was such a fun summer. And Brady and I do actually talk a lot now; we're totally cool. But yeah, I wouldn't wanna do that to Lorylyn. And he probably wouldn't either." Brooke rolled her eyes. She'd love to do that to Lorylyn.

"Yeah...oh, well...that's too bad. It'd be fun. But I'm sure we'll have a great time. Do you have any idea who you wanna go with?"

"No, not really."

### chapter 12) chargers, cheers, excitement, & tears...

### and landon's... the after-game

The first game of the basketball sectional was the following Tuesday night. Jill rode with Lorylyn, Brady, and Kelsey to Eastwood, which was about fifty minutes away. BCHS was favored to win sectional easily; they were up against the Wood and Pine County schools, which were all tiny and not very good. The regional, in which they'd play the winner of the Logan sectional, was expected to be much harder.

Jill, Lorylyn, and Kelsey had decked themselves out for the game in green tie-dyed T-shirts, green and gold tie-dyed baseball socks, and green and gold pom-poms in their ponytails. Jill and Lorylyn wore their matching green and white plaid boxers that they wore to warm up for every gymnastics meet, and Kelsey wore jean shorts. They all wore their cheerleading shoes with the green and gold Nike swooshes on them too.

Jill was psyched for the game. She wished it were at home, but at least the pep band was allowed to travel with them, so it'd be more like a home game.

BC ended up killing Pineview, as expected.

" _Warm up the bus! Warm up the bus!_ " the BC student section screamed cockily with three minutes left in the game. Jill giggled happily. The final score was 69-42.

"Do you wanna stay for the next game?" Jill asked. "To see who we play Friday?"

"Does it really matter?" Brady asked. "Eastwood or Western Pine...we'll kick both their asses at once."

Jill laughed.

***

Brady was right. On Friday night, the Chargers beat Western Pine 62-40. Jill wanted to stay to see the bye game so they'd know who they played in the championship tomorrow, but the gymnastics sectional was tomorrow too, and they had to leave BC at eight in the morning.

Jill wasn't really nervous about sectional at all. She thought it'd be cool to make it to regional, but gymnastics season was almost five months long, and she'd also be fine with not having another week of practice.

But when they arrived at Logan Southeast the next morning, Jill felt herself getting caught up in the excitement. Because a lot of the smaller schools around them didn't have gymnastics, BC was in the Logan sectional, and all the teams were of similar ability level, except for Logan Southeast, who'd won state the past two years. Jill couldn't wait to see their girls compete; it was so fun watching them because they were so good. They were total bitches though, so Jill never cheered for them or let them know she was watching.

As the BC girls warmed up on bars in their sweatshirts, boxers, and tie-dyed green and gold baseball socks, Jill felt the adrenaline starting to kick in, and she realized for the first time how much she wanted to make it to regional. Last year BC had gotten fifth, but the second and sixth place scores had only been three points apart. The top three teams advanced. It would be another close competition this year. "It is freezing in here!" Jill said, shivering as she chalked her hands. She didn't mind warming up in her sweatshirt though; it was comfortable and made her feel more relaxed.

"Oh my gosh, look!" Lorylyn said, pointing up at the bleachers. "Todd came with Brady and Hilton!"

Jill's eyes widened. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe he came! He has sectional tonight!"

"Well, it's not like he's playing. And he probably just drove with Hilton, so they can leave early to go back and get ready for the game."

"I know...I just can't believe he came over an hour away! Aahhh!" she squealed giddily, grinning at Lorylyn. She looked back up at the bleachers. Her parents and Winnie and Aaron were just coming in too, and they sat down by Brady, Hilton, and Todd. Jill wondered how long Hilton had known Todd was coming. She tried to catch Hilton's eye but couldn't.

Jill turned back to the bars. She couldn't wait till it was her turn, so she could show off a little. Now more than ever, she wanted to do her best.

***

"I can't believe I missed my first back handspring!" Jill wailed after her beam routine two hours later. "I've been getting them all year."

"Hey, it's all right, don't worry about it," Coach Tanner said. "You had our third highest score on bars, and you still have floor left. You're fine. Just forget about this and start thinking about floor."

Jill sank down next to Lorylyn, humiliated and feeling like she was going to cry. She no longer even felt good about beating Amy on bars for the first time all year. Lindy and Amy had been scoring higher than her all season, as had Rachel, who was amazing at bars and had been getting BC's top score all year. Most of the other girls considered bars their worst event, and no seniors even competed varsity. Jill and Lorylyn usually both did, because in their normal meets five or sometimes even six people competed varsity in each event. But in sectional only four got to, and Jill's overall average for the season had been a little higher than Lorylyn's. Lorylyn had had to warm up though, because she was the alternate.

But now all Jill could think about was how humiliating her beam routine had been. "I don't even know how that happened! I'm so embarrassed."

Lorylyn put her arm around Jill. "Hey, don't worry about it. You were way better than I would've been. If I was competing beam I probably would've missed my mount and hit my face on the beam, then rolled off and crashed on my back on the mat and gotten whiplash."

Jill giggled a little bit, then waited anxiously as the little girl by the judges' table took the papers the judges handed her and moved to put up Jill's score.

"A 6.025?! Oh my gosh!" Jill buried her head in her hands. "That's my worst score of the year!"

"That's bullshit," Lorylyn said angrily. "You only fell once! And the rest of your routine was awesome."

"Yeah, but I didn't get my tumbling pass, and I lost difficulty 'cause I only did one back handspring, and I didn't even land it."

"Oh, look!"

Jill looked up hopefully. Maybe her score had been wrong; maybe it was really a 7.025. Even that would be lower than what she'd expected. But Lorylyn was pointing up to the bleachers. Jill followed her finger.

Todd and Hilton were standing up and holding a big sign that said GO JILLY BEAN!!! Jill's mouth dropped open and she laughed a little, wiping at her eyes.

"That's so cute!" Lorylyn said. "Brady didn't make me a sign."

"Yeah, but I still feel so stupid. Todd probably thinks I suck now."

"Jill, he does not! How many of our meets did he come to when you nailed your beam routine? He knows how good you are. And it's not like he's never had a bad basketball game, or missed a dumb shot at practice. Remember that one time when we were walking into the gym and he shot the lay-up that came right back down at his face?"

Jill giggled. That had been hilarious. "I guess you're right. I still wish I did better though. That score is _such_ bullshit." She glared at the judges.

"Well, just do what Coach Tanner said. Just think about floor and really focus on that. I'm sure you'll do better. At least you only have one event left to worry about. I still have floor and vault."

Jill did a lot better on floor. Logan Southeast had a spring floor, so it was way better than BC's foam one, and as Jill was going into her last tumbling pass, she impulsively decided to throw a layout instead of her regular back tuck. She nailed it; she could tell her legs were straight and she was high off the ground, and her landing was rock solid. She beamed as she did her last dance combination, then saluted and ran off the floor energetically. All her teammates were waiting to hug her and congratulate her. She looked up at the crowd to see her parents standing and cheering loudly. Hilton and Todd were holding up their sign again, and Winnie was jumping up and down on the bleachers. Jill laughed happily and hugged her teammates again.

***

BC was the last team to vault in the very last rotation, and Jill was glad to be done and able to relax. She had to do one warm-up vault, because she was the alternate, but it was so nice to just throw it pretty carelessly, knowing it didn't matter if it was good, because she wasn't actually competing. As Lorylyn and Lindy and the two other girls who were vaulting stood at the back of the runway waiting to do their warm-ups and rubbed a little chalk on their hands, Jill threw on her sweatshirt, pulled down her leotard sleeves, and stretched out on the floor to watch. Hilton and Todd had left right after floor, so they'd gotten to see all her events. Her family was still here; they'd stay to hear the results. After two rotations, BC had been in fourth place. Jill wasn't sure how they were doing now.

Lorylyn and Lindy both nailed their vaults. One of BC's girls fell on her first one, but it didn't matter because only the top three scores counted.

The team packed up their clothes, coloring books, crayons, and snacks as they waited for the results to be tallied. Finally all the teams were called to the floor, and all the BC girls grabbed their stuffed animals to carry with them. It was a team tradition for each girl to carry a stuffed animal around with her during meets.

They read the individual results first. The top six individuals in each event advanced. Jill had placed sixth on floor, so she'd go on to regional in that event even if the team didn't make it. Lorylyn got fifth on vault, losing only to the four Logan Southeast girls. Rachel got fourth on bars and Lindy got fourth on beam and floor. Two senior girls also qualified – one tying for sixth on beam and one tying for sixth on vault. Then they announced the top six in the all-around. Lindy wasn't sure what her final score had been, but she thought it was somewhere around thirty-three. The sixth place score was 32.95. Lindy looked at the girls nervously.

"In fifth place, with a score of 33.45, from Brinkley-Caldwell, Lindy Brooks!"

Lindy screamed, and everyone stood up to hug her. She was all smiles as she accepted her ribbon and stood up at the front.

Jill was so happy for her she felt like crying. Lindy deserved it after everything with Andy. Well, she deserves it anyway, Jill thought, 'cause she's awesome.

Then it was time for the team results.

"In third place, with a score of 96.75, the Logan North Barons!"

The Logan North girls cheered and hugged each other, then a few of them ran up to get their plaque.

The BC girls looked at each other in disappointment. Logan North had been just ahead of them after two rotations and must have edged them out.

"In second place, with a score of 96.775, the Brinkley-Caldwell Chargers!"

Jill and Lorylyn looked at each other, wide-eyed. Then they squealed and jumped to their feet, hugging each other and bouncing around in a circle. When they pulled apart, Jill had tears in her eyes.

"I can't believe it! We got second!"

"By, like, point oh-two-five!" Amy squealed. "That's freakin' awesome!"

All the seniors went up to accept the plaque. The rest of the team couldn't stop screaming and hugging one another.

"And your winner of the 1999 IHSAA Logan Southeast Gymnastics Sectional, with a score of 108.925, the Logan Southeast Warriors!"

As the Southeast team screamed and ran up to get their trophy, Jill and Lorylyn looked at each other and laughed.

"Yay, I'm so excited! I really didn't think we'd win! It was so close!" Lorylyn said in a high-pitched voice, making fun of Southeast's team.

Jill giggled, then she and Lorylyn jumped up and down and hugged each other again.

***

Jill barely had time to shower and change before leaving for Eastwood that night. She and Brady and Lorylyn stopped at McDonald's on the way, and she and Lorylyn couldn't stop giggling the whole drive. They were still hyper from advancing to regional.

The basketball team won easily, as expected, and Hilton flew up the bleachers to Jill and Lorylyn after the game.

"Party at Landon's!" she cried excitedly. "He said it'll take the team like an hour and a half to get back, then he'll have to shower and stuff, so come in like two hours." She hurried back down to join the other cheerleaders.

Jill was pumped. This was an awesome day. She glanced at the clock on the gym wall. It was already ten. That meant Landon's didn't start till twelve...she'd definitely have to tell her parents she was going to Hilton's or something. She felt really bad lying to them after they'd come to her meet, and she knew they were so proud of her...but she had to go to Landon's. She decided maybe she only had to partially lie. She could say Landon had invited her and Hilton and Todd over. And maybe Hillary and Dirk and Lorylyn and Brady too. She'd beg to go, and they'd probably let her do that. She'd say she was just staying till two, and then they were going to Hilton's.

***

She ended up staying at Landon's all night. Hilton had said she was staying at Jill's, so there was no place else they could go. Hillary and Lorylyn both stayed too. Jill was so thankful she and Hilton had their licenses now; this never would've worked if they'd needed rides home.

It was the craziest party she'd ever been to at Landon's; everybody was hyped up and out of control. The whole varsity basketball team was there. Jill drank four beers, her most ever, and was feeling pretty buzzed herself. The alcohol made her more confident than normal, and she flirted a lot with Todd. He was wasted and being really flirty back, and Jill was having a blast.

They played spin the bottle for what seemed like forever, and Jill had to kiss Reed. She was laughing so hard she could barely stand up straight, and she was drunk enough that she didn't even care if he thought she was making fun of him.

"It's okay," Hilton whispered later in the living room. "He probably just thought you were drunk. But he could use someone making fun of him a little. Maybe he'd realize he needs to work on his skills."

After that comment, Jill and Hilton – who was drunk too – rolled on the ground for a long time, laughing hysterically.

Jill ended up sleeping on Landon's couch, and Todd slept on the floor right beside her. Nothing happened, but Jill didn't even care. Even though she still winced a little to think of the beam incident earlier, today had been one of the most exciting days she could remember.

***

The following Friday night was the gymnastics regional, once again at Logan Southeast.

"I know this sounds horrible," Jill said to Lorylyn as they chilled out between rotations, "but I'm glad we have like no chance in hell of making it to state, 'cause we'd have to miss part of spring break."

"Oh, I totally agree." Lorylyn giggled. "But, hey, what if the basketball team wins tomorrow? What are you gonna do? 'Cause semi-state and state would both be during spring break."

"I know." Jill frowned. "Well, Hilton and Hillary would both have to go to the games, 'cause of cheerleading, and I'd really wanna go to them too...so I guess I'd have my parents try to change all our plane tickets."

"Would your family still leave for Florida on Friday?"

"Yeah, probably. I don't know though. They were saying they'd be pissed if they stayed for semi-state and then we lost. So they don't know what to do. Plus, if we won semi-state, they'd have to change our plane tickets back too...we'd have to fly back on Friday to go to the state game."

"Yeah. Well I'm bummed 'cause my parents obviously can't change our cruise, and they said I have to go. So if we win tomorrow I won't be able to go to semi-state at all."

"That sucks!"

"I know. I still want us to win though."

"Oh, yeah, me too."

***

The regional game was at Logan Central. They were a city team and way bigger than BC's guys. They played a much faster, nastier game, and the refs didn't call anything. Jill was pissed off and screaming the whole game. Logan Central's players were cocky, and Jill could tell they were trash-talking BC's team really badly. At one point Landon shoved a guy down after the guy had fouled him and the whistle had already been blown, and he got called for a technical.

Jill laughed and screamed for Landon along with everyone else when he shoved the guy, then booed and yelled, "BULL _SHIT_ , BULL _SHIT_!" when the technical was called. Landon looked furious. Jill looked down at Hilton, and she didn't look happy either. When Landon had shoved the guy down, Hilton had jumped out of her seat in the front row cheering and clapping and screaming, but Jill knew she was unhappy with the way the game was going in general. As the Logan Central player shot his free throws, BC's student section screamed, " _You suck dick! You suck dick!_ " It was the nastiest they had ever been, but it made Jill feel better to yell it.

Logan Central had a slight lead the whole game, and it was one of those games that was definitely within reach, but you knew the whole time you were going to lose because nothing was going your way. Then at the end, BC had to start fouling, and they ended up losing 78-64.

It was horrible. Jill hated losing. She felt deflated and like she was going to cry. The only bright spot to the whole night was that she wouldn't have to worry about Florida now, and she'd get to go for the whole week. But even that wasn't much of a consolation.

### chapter 13) spring break

By Monday, Jill felt better. She couldn't wait to leave for Florida. She and Hillary and Hilton were all missing school Friday because they had to leave for the airport by one, since they were flying out of Indy instead of Logan.

Todd, Landon, and Dirk didn't seem too upset either. They'd wanted to win, but now that it was over, they were ready to move on to baseball season. Todd and Dirk had stopped practicing with the basketball team after the last JV game and had been going to baseball practice for a while now, even though they'd still had to dress up and sit behind the varsity team during the sectional and regional games. That's how Todd had been able to go to the gymnastics sectional and miss the basketball walk-through on the day of the sectional championship. But since Landon was on varsity, he'd had to keep practicing with the basketball team.

Hilton was relieved to be done with cheerleading too, because she'd been trying to go to both cheerleading practice and tennis conditioning, plus she'd been taking two hours of tennis lessons at the Logan Academy on Sunday afternoons, one hour of individual and one hour with Lindy, so she'd been super busy.

"We should all get our belly buttons pierced over spring break!" Hillary said in French on Tuesday.

"Oh, yeah!" Hilton said excitedly. "Good idea! I've been wanting to get mine."

And then basketball was completely forgotten, and Florida was all Jill could think about.

***

"No way," Jill's mom said at dinner that night when Jill asked.

"Why not?!"

"Jill, you know how mad Coach Tanner was when Amanda got hers pierced."

"That was in the middle of the season!" Jill said, wishing she'd never told her mom that story. Amanda was a senior on the team. At the time, it had been hilarious, and Jill hadn't wanted to get her own belly button pierced. "She was just mad 'cause Amanda couldn't do bars for like a week. It's almost a year till gymnastics starts again."

"You have lessons at Twisters starting right after spring break."

"Well, I don't really wanna start till the summer anyway. Can't we just change that? I'm gymnastics'd out."

"Well, we might, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're not getting your belly button pierced," her dad said.

"That's so unfair! Hilton and Hillary are doing it!"

"Do you know that? Have they asked their parents? We won't let them unless their parents tell us it's okay."

"Whatever, they could do it one day when we go walking, and what would you be able to do about it?"

"Jill Elizabeth! I do not want to hear that kind of talk. If you want to even be allowed to go walking, or ever take a friend to Florida again, that's enough."

"Whatever," Jill mumbled angrily, throwing some food to Sunny, their dog who was under the table, because she knew that annoyed her parents. Then she stabbed angrily at her green beans.

***

Later that night, Jill's mom came and knocked on the door of her room, where she'd been sulking since dinner.

"I was thinking," Mrs. Sherer said, "and I still don't want you getting your belly button pierced, but how about if I let you get your cartilage pierced? I know you've wanted to do that for a while."

"Well, that'd be cool, I guess." Jill shrugged, still mad about dinner. Then she felt bad. Her mom was trying to make a compromise. "I just talked to Hilton on the phone, and she said she'll wait for me so we can get our belly buttons pierced together. So that's cool. Thanks, Mom."

***

Florida was wonderful. They flew in Friday night around ten, stopped at McDonald's, then checked into their motel and crashed. Saturday morning they drove over the Sky Bridge onto the island, and Jill felt like she was returning to a home she'd been away from for a long time. Times Square was bustling with the usual weekend crowd, and the public beach looked packed.

"This is amazing!" Hilton gushed as they drove down Estero Boulevard to their condo. "I love it! I can't believe you come here every year!"

They dumped their bags in the condo, and Jill, Hilton, and Hillary hit the beach right away, walking down to the pier and back to show Hilton around and scope out the scene before laying out for a while.

That night the whole family ate at Pete's Time Out, right off the beach, and people-watched. Then the girls went shopping and got ice cream before heading back to the condo.

On Monday Hillary was ready to get her belly button pierced. She, Jill, and Hilton walked down the beach after lunch, then walked up near the pier to drop their sandals and put them on since the rest of the way they had to walk on cement.

The night before when they'd been shopping, Jill and Hillary had checked to make sure the body-piercing shop was where they thought it was.

"I'm kinda nervous," Hillary said as they approached. "It looks kinda scary."

"I'm sure it's fine," Hilton said.

"Are you getting your cartilage pierced here, Jill?"

"No, I'm gonna get it at like, an earring store." Jill didn't want anything to do with this place; she'd rather have it done with a gun. Her mom had warned her that a body-piercing place like this would probably use a needle.

"Hilton?" Hillary asked.

Hilton pushed back her hair to show Hillary the hoop at the top of her left ear. "Already have it."

Hillary took a deep breath, then led the way inside. It wasn't busy, and she got waited on right away. They were only there for about half an hour.

"It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would," Hillary said proudly as they left. "Doesn't it look awesome?"

"Yeah, I'm so jealous!" Jill said, staring at the sparkling beads. "I so want one!"

"We'll get ours senior year," Hilton said. "Once you're done with gymnastics."

"I feel so bad you have to wait," Jill said. "You can do it if you want."

"No, it's fine. My parents weren't thrilled about it either. I don't mind waiting."

Jill sighed enviously as she turned back to Hillary. "It's _so_ cute, Hill. Dirk's gonna love it!"

***

Hillary wasn't near as annoying about talking to Dirk on the phone this year. Jill's parents had limited everyone to ten minutes on the phone each day since both Hillary and Hilton had boyfriends back home. Jill's parents had been annoyed with Hillary last year too.

The three of them didn't meet any boys to hang out with regularly, like Jill and Hillary had last year, but Jill didn't mind. They played volleyball a couple times, but it was always a random crowd. Last year they'd played with the same people every day. This year they spent more time laying out, swimming, or walking, and one day they went parasailing, which had been Hilton's idea last year when Jill had invited her.

They went up in a triple, attached to the parachute only by the straps called a diaper that went around their legs and formed a wobbly seat, and they absolutely loved it. It was so peaceful and serene floating above the world like that on a sparkling sunny day and watching the tiny jet skis and boats that looked like Matchbox car-sized toys underneath them. The water was a surprisingly deep green when viewed from above, and they could see for miles, all the way to where the beach curved and angled toward Lovers' Key and Bonita Beach at the far end of the island. In the other direction was Sanibel, hazy and almost like an illusion in the bright afternoon sun. They could see all the ships in the marina too, and all the way over the Sky Bridge onto the mainland. It was breathtaking. They agreed to definitely do it again next year. It was fun riding in the boat too; it whipped across the ocean, spraying them with seawater and reminding Jill of tubing at Landon's lake.

Later that night, everybody went to the Sanibel Outlets and Jill got her cartilage pierced at Claire's. It didn't really hurt, but her ear felt really hot for almost an hour afterwards. She got an amethyst stud and thought it looked good against her dark brown hair, but she couldn't wait until she could change it to a hoop like Hilton's.

One night when the girls were walking around the square eating their ice cream, some guys invited them to a party at the Lani Kai, a hotel a little ways down the beach on the other side of the pier from their condo. So after the rest of Jill's family headed back to the condo, Jill, Hilton, and Hillary walked down to the Lani Kai and had a couple of drinks. The Lani Kai had a fun party atmosphere, but this party was in a room and it was kind of boring, so they didn't stay too long. Plus, they had to be back shortly after midnight, because that was when the stores usually closed and Jill's parents would expect them home.

The week flew by, and it was relaxing and fun. Jill was glad they'd all three come, and she hoped maybe Lorylyn could come next year too, since they were flying now. It'd be a tight fit in the girls' bedroom; someone would have to sleep on the floor every night, but it'd be totally worth it.

***

When the Sherers got home on Sunday evening, there was a message on the machine from Todd.

"I got to pitch in the varsity scrimmage," he said in a sing-song voice. "I'm so good....Anyway, hope you guys had a good time in Fort Myers! See ya Monday, Jill."

Jill smiled as she walked upstairs. She was excited to go back to school tomorrow and see Todd. This last two months or so of school had been a breeze last year, and she was looking forward to coasting through the rest of the year and having summer be here again.

### chapter 14) eyes wide shut

"So...I know no one's gonna believe this...but Todd had a date over spring break." Dirk slapped Todd on the back and grinned at everyone. It was the first day back to school, and they were all gathered in their usual morning spot by the coat check room.

Jill froze. She felt like she'd had the wind knocked out of her, just like in advanced computers that day when Todd had first mentioned Melanie. Dirk had to be joking, right? She looked at him and felt sick when she saw him laughing.

"With who?" Hilton asked.

Everyone waited for Todd's answer. When he just sat there laughing and looking embarrassed, Dirk answered for him.

"Melanie, Melanie!" He wiggled his eyebrows.

Jill felt the jealousy and panic bubbling up inside her. Melanie?! She'd thought that whole thing was over! How the hell had Todd gotten hooked up with her?!

"Melanie who?" Lorylyn asked, confused.

"Pharrell. She's like, a track star," Dirk explained, and Todd rolled his eyes, laughing but embarrassed.

"How'd that happen?" Hilton asked with a slight frown.

"Bennett and Kelsey set them up."

Jill wanted to smack herself in the forehead. Why hadn't she thought of that?! She should've seen that one coming and tried to do something to stop it. She was immediately pissed at Kelsey. How could Kelsey do this to her?! But I'm always telling Kelsey I don't like him..., she thought, feeling sicker by the second. What was she going to do?! This absolutely could not work out. If Todd started dating Melanie, she'd be devastated. She felt herself sinking, losing control. This couldn't be happening. Stupid Bennett! She hated him. Todd hadn't mentioned Melanie in forever...why'd Bennett have to go and start this?

"So how was it, man?" Brady asked, leaning forward from his position on the coat check counter to look around Dirk at Todd. "Did you get any?"

"Brady!" Lorylyn slapped his arm and glared at him, and Brady and Dirk looked at each other and laughed.

"No, no," Todd said, smiling and raising his hands innocently. "We just went to dinner with Bennett and Kels."

Jill felt a little better. It had just been dinner...that didn't mean anything...maybe Todd hadn't really liked her...or maybe she hadn't really liked him...but still, just the thought of some other girl getting to be with Todd like that...having dinner, going on a date...she couldn't handle it.

"Congrats, man. Finally, you went on a date," Landon said, reaching out to shake Todd's hand loosely. Jill glared at him, and she saw Hilton give him a dirty look too.

"Are you going out with her again?" Brady asked.

"I don't know." Todd shrugged.

Then, to Jill's utter horror, "Attention, staff and students. We are going into code green lockdown immediately. Please enter the nearest classroom or office. Once the hallways are empty, lock the door and cover any windows. No one may leave until you receive further instructions. Stay away from all doors and windows. Again, this is a code green lockdown. Find the nearest room immediately."

Jill swallowed a lump in her throat. Code green lockdown always made her nervous, because she never knew if it was a drill or not. And now, with this whole Todd thing, she seriously felt like she might throw up.

Brady jumped off the counter and tried the door to the coat check room. It opened, and Jill numbly followed everyone inside. While Brady looked for paper to cover the window in the door, Jill slid down on the floor against the wall.

"Hey, you okay?" Dirk asked her.

"Um, I kinda feel like I'm gonna puke." She buried her head in her knees. She hoped Todd would say something about the time they'd been in the boys' bathroom together during lockdown last year, but he and the boys continued talking about his date. Jill felt even sicker. He probably hadn't even thought of that, of being alone in the bathroom with her and jokingly saying they should get it on in a stall and then pushing her up against a wall and pressing his whole body into hers....He was too busy thinking about his date. And this totally sucked, because normally she would've been thrilled to be with Todd during lockdown, and it was especially cool that it was just their little group in the coat check room with no teachers, but now she couldn't even enjoy it.

"Are you okay, Jill?" Lorylyn asked as the four girls walked to French half an hour later. Jill had sat with her head down the whole lockdown, and she knew all the girls knew what was really wrong.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea till this morning," Hillary said. "I guess it was on Saturday night, and Dirk didn't tell me. I would've told you if I knew sooner."

"It's fine, seriously. Don't worry about it." Jill didn't want to talk about it because she was afraid she'd start crying.

Hilton squeezed her elbow silently, and Jill was grateful to her for knowing not to talk about it now.

***

"Oh my gosh, Hilton, what am I gonna do?" Jill asked despairingly during SRT. The bell had just rung to start the period, and they were still in the bathroom; they hadn't even gone to Ms. Kirkwood's room yet.

"Well, it's only one date," Hilton said. "It's nothing serious yet. So you still have a chance. But if you're gonna tell him you like him, you have to do it now, before they go out again."

"I can't tell him I like him!"

"Jilly, you're gonna have to. He has no idea how you feel about him. I asked Landon, and Landon said Todd told him you two are just friends, and you see it the same way he does. Don't worry, though, I was very discreet. Landon doesn't know you like Todd."

"Well, now I definitely can't tell him I like him, if he told Landon we were just friends! I'll look like the complete idiot who's been pining over him this whole time when he never even thought about us as more than friends. That's so embarrassing!" Her eyes were welling up with tears.

Hilton grabbed some toilet paper and caught the tears just as they spilled over. "Sshh, Jilly, it's okay." Hilton hugged her.

"No, it's not okay! I don't know what I'm gonna do." Jill sank to the floor with her back to the full length mirror, pulling her knees up to her chin. "I don't know what I'll do if he goes out with somebody else."

"That's why you have to tell him how you feel," Hilton said gently, sitting down in front of Jill. "And I think you have to do it yourself, 'cause if I ask Landon to say something to him, or Hillary asks Dirk, Todd won't take it seriously. He'll just say the same thing he told Landon before, 'No, she doesn't like me.' He'll only know it's true if you tell him."

Jill shook her head. "I really can't do that. There's no way."

"Well, it's only Monday. He won't go out with Melanie again till at least this weekend, if he goes out with her again at all. There's always the chance it was just a random, one-time thing. But I don't think you can take that chance. Think about it for a couple days. You have to decide what's more important, having a chance to date him...or not having him find out you like him."

"I can't have him find out I like him. It'd ruin everything," Jill sobbed.

"But wouldn't it ruin everything if he dated Melanie too?"

Jill wiped at her eyes and shook her head. "Well, kinda, but not as much as if he shot me down."

"Won't it ruin everything if he's liked you all along but you just let him go and never know what could've been? Wouldn't you rather have an answer, even if it's not the one you want?"

"If he liked me, he should've done something! It shouldn't have to be like this now! It's just not fair! I never saw this coming! He hasn't mentioned Melanie since like, the second week back to school! How did this happen? How did it happen?" The tears flowed down her face again.

"You're right, he should've. But just 'cause he didn't do anything, are you just gonna sit back and not do anything either? If you guys never get together it'll be like the biggest waste of a couple ever."

"I know!" Jill sobbed. "I know! But I can't do it, Hilton. I just can't."

Hilton stroked Jill's hair. "At least think about it, okay? You shouldn't decide for sure when you're this upset."

***

Jill did think about it, and she asked her mom about it too, but she knew deep down that telling Todd she liked him was never really an option. There was just no way she could bare her soul like that. And maybe Todd and Melanie wouldn't even go out again. She was probably freaking out over nothing. They hadn't sat by each other in advanced computers today. They hadn't even talked at all. So maybe it really was just a one-time thing.

***

The next day at lunch though, Jill couldn't even stand to look at Melanie. And the worst part was everyone was asking her about the date.

It was three days ago! Jill thought bitterly. Get over it already!

"It was so fun," Melanie said. "He's so sweet. He paid for my dinner. And he's sooo hot." She grinned.

"Did anything happen?" someone asked.

"No, but there's always time for that later."

So much for her not liking him, Jill thought, putting down her pork tenderloin and knowing she wouldn't be able to eat any more that day.

***

That night was the Winter Sports Awards, and Jill and Lorylyn, who had now each accumulated two varsity letters in gymnastics, got their letter jackets. It was something Jill had been excited about for a long time, but now it was bittersweet. As she and Lorylyn stood on the stage and Coach Tanner helped them put on their jackets, Jill scanned the area where the basketball team was seated, but she couldn't find Todd because it was too dark. She looked quickly away and back at Coach Tanner. As she and Lorylyn walked off the stage and back to their seats, they had to pass the swim team. Jill stared straight ahead and walked as fast as she could. The last thing she wanted was to see Melanie tonight.

After the part in the auditorium was over and the teams went to separate rooms to present special team awards, Jill hurried to the gymnastics room, praying she wouldn't see either Todd or Melanie, because the thought of possibly seeing them together here, in front of all the parents, was too much to bear. It was like it would establish them as a real couple, to have all those people see them together. _She_ should be with Todd tonight, and all the parents should be seeing the two of _them_ together.

She couldn't wait to get the hell out of here.

***

"Would you care if I went to prom?" Brady asked Lorylyn on the phone Wednesday night.

"I don't know. Why? Did somebody else ask you?"

"No, but I was working with Brooke on our Spanish project-"

"What Spanish project?" Lorylyn cut in, upset. "You didn't say anything to me about that."

"Chill, we just got assigned partners today."

"And you just so happened to get assigned Brooke again?"

"Well, she did it alphabetically by first names this time. What am I supposed to do about that? But anyway, we just wanted to get an early start on our project tonight and-"

"Are you with her right now?!" Lorylyn was horrified.

"No! I left her house awhile ago."

"You were at her house tonight? And you didn't even feel the need to let me know about that?"

"Lorylyn, seriously, chill. Mrs. Martin assigned partners in class, and Brooke randomly called me and was bored and said she wanted to get a head start on the project, so I went over there. I didn't realize I had to notify you every time I go somewhere."

Lorylyn was silent.

"So anyway," Brady continued, sounding less annoyed now that she'd stopped yelling, "we were working on our project and she was talking about how Lindy and Landon are going to prom together, and she said Lindy was saying she wished Brooke and I could go together, 'cause the four of us used to have so much fun hanging out together. But Brooke said her and Lindy both agreed they didn't think she should ask me, 'cause they didn't wanna upset you."

That fucking bitch! Lorylyn seethed silently. Stupid scheming whore! She'd played it perfectly with Brady, to make Lorylyn look like the bitch if she wouldn't let Brady go now. Lorylyn had known Brooke wasn't over him! She'd been right to be worried when Brooke and Matt broke up.

Brady had paused, but when Lorylyn still didn't say anything, he continued. "But I didn't know if it'd really upset you, so I just thought I'd see."

How could you not know? Lorylyn thought. Do you not remember how upset I was when you kissed her at Hilton's birthday party?! "Did you tell Brooke you were gonna ask me?" Lorylyn said, trying to keep her voice level. She was about to burst into tears.

"No. She has no idea. She thinks it's not even a possibility that we'd go together."

Yeah fucking right! Lorylyn thought. "Well, I don't think it is either," she snapped, slamming the phone down. She hadn't even planned to do that, but she was shaking. She couldn't believe this.

It rang again immediately. She hesitated, then picked it up. "Hello?"

"Lorylyn! Why are you getting so upset? This is crazy. If you don't want me to ask her, I won't. You don't have to get upset just 'cause I asked you about it."

But that's exactly why I _am_ upset! she wailed silently. The fact that you would even ask me. You shouldn't even wanna do it. You shouldn't even have wanted to ask me.

"Besides," Brady continued, "Brooke's actually trying to be nice. Can't you see that? She knows we'd all have a lot of fun together, but she didn't even ask me 'cause she knew it'd upset you. She's changed a lot."

Yeah, Lorylyn thought darkly. She's changed from being an obvious bitch to a scheming, secretive bitch! Brady's words played over in her head, and she wanted to hit something. Couldn't _she_ see?! How could _Brady_ not see what Brooke was trying to do?! But Lorylyn knew it'd be pointless to try to make him see; he'd just get even more annoyed with her. And this fight could go on for hours. She needed some time to think.

"You're right," she said finally, trying to make her voice sound normal. "I guess she is trying to be nice. But I just really don't want you to go with her, Brady. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Okay, that's fine. I won't ask her," Brady said, but she heard him give an irritated sigh under his breath.

***

Lorylyn called Jill as soon as she hung up from Brady and unloaded the whole story on her. "How can he not _see_?" she cried.

"What a bitch!" Jill cried. "No shit! How can he not see that? That's crazy! Do you think he's mad at you?"

"I don't know, but I don't even care! He has no right to be mad at me! I hate how she's making me look like the bad one! Ugh, this sucks so bad! What the hell am I supposed to do? He's gonna carry this grudge against me, 'cause he thinks I'm being petty and stupid, and then he'll spend all this time with her on their Spanish project, and he'll start liking her better! What should I do?!"

***

"Break up with him!" Hilton cried when Jill called her after hanging up from Lorylyn. "Jill, you have to call her back and tell her to break the hell up with him. Don't tell her I said it if you don't want, but please, please tell her!"

"Really?" Jill asked.

"Yes! Holy shit! He's such an asshole! First of all, she shouldn't wanna be with a guy who wouldn't take her feelings into consideration at all, and what is this Brooke thing, anyway? It's like it keeps coming back up over and over again! She should not stand for that! She keeps letting it slide, like at my birthday party, and the whole email thing....She needs to take a stand."

"So just like break up with him to make a point and then get back with him?"

"Maybe...maybe not. This Brooke thing has gotta end. Break up with him and give him his freedom. Let him see what happens with Brooke. He'll either get it out of his system once and for all, or he'll start dating her. And then Lorylyn'll have her answer either way."

"Yeah, you're totally right. How are you so good at this stuff?!"

"Well, it's not that hard...I'd just never let a guy treat me like that! She has to stand up for herself."

***

"But what if I end up losing him, Jill?" Lorylyn asked when Jill called her back and gave her Hilton's advice, pretending it was her own.

"Well, then, at least you'll know," Jill said, trying to think quickly. She'd said everything Hilton had told her; it was harder thinking on her feet and making up her own advice. "I mean, honestly, would you rather be in a relationship with a guy who has this weird thing with another girl and is totally inconsiderate than be single? I think you'd be better off single."

"Yeah...but I love him." She said it simply, but her voice was thick with pain.

"I know," Jill said softly, her tone losing some of its determination. "I know. I really don't know what to tell you, Lorylyn. But are you really happy right now?"

Lorylyn hesitated. "No. Not after tonight. And I guess the email thing still bugs me a little too."

"Then you _have_ to do something about it. You love him, but you're not happy with him? And don't you want back what you had with him? If you let things keep going like they are, you won't get that. You're different, Lor! You're not bouncy all the time like you always used to be! I mean, sometimes you are, but not as much as when you first got back with him last year. He's ruining you! You can't let that happen! I miss your bounciness! That's who you _are_. And when you don't have that anymore, something's way wrong. And I think the only way to get him over this Brooke thing is to give him his freedom with her. And if he's not tied down to you, he'll be able to do whatever he wants with her. And hopefully he won't do anything, but if he does, then there's your answer. I'm so sorry, Lor...I know it's so hard to let him go. But you can't go on like you are right now."

Lorylyn was silent for a moment, and when she spoke she sounded on the verge of tears again. "You're right. You're totally right. Am I really different? Agh! That totally freaks me out! What the hell has happened to me?!" She sniffled. "And I didn't even realize till tonight how much that email thing still bothers me. I thought I was happy...ugh." She paused. "Thanks so much, Jill. I really needed somebody to say that to me."

"So are you gonna break up with him?"

"Yeah. Tomorrow."

"Aww...well, good luck, hon. You're doing the right thing. Come talk to me right away, okay?"

"Okay."

***

The next morning the baseball team met at seven to lift weights. Afterwards, as Brady left the locker room and headed into the gym lobby, he ran into Brooke.

"Hey," she greeted him with a friendly smile.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Going to clean out my cheerleading locker. I never got a chance before spring break, so..."

"Oh...well it's a definite no-go for prom. I said something to Lorylyn about it and she flipped."

"Oh, that's okay," Brooke said, waving it away with her hand and laughing. "I never expected it to happen anyways. It would've been fun though..." She smiled at him again.

"Yeah. Okay...well, I'll see ya later, I guess."

"Later!" Brooke said cheerfully. As she turned and headed for the locker room, she smiled in satisfaction. She was going to play it totally cool this time, and Lorylyn was going to come off as the bitch. It seemed like it was already working, from what Brady had said. She could tell he was annoyed with Lorylyn. And he had actually asked Lorylyn about going with her...that meant he wanted to! One of her plans was _finally_ working perfectly. And little did Lindy know, Brooke had her to thank for the idea.

***

As Brady exited the health hallway and turned toward his locker, Lorylyn ran up to meet him. She'd known he had baseball and had shown up early and waited for him. She was glad the hallways were still empty, and she knew she had to do it right away, before everybody met in the commons. She'd rehearsed over and over what she was going to say, and she'd barely slept last night. She was devastated. This was the last thing she wanted to do, but Jill was right...she wasn't happy anymore, and she didn't want to go on like this. Now her stomach was churning. She had to do it before she lost her nerve.

"Hey, Brady." Her voice was unsteady.

Brady threw her a glance and kept walking as she joined him. "Hey, Lor." He sounded tired and annoyed. His coldness made it easier.

"So I changed my mind about you going to prom with Brooke," she said, staring at the floor and hugging her books as they walked. She really thought she might throw up. She prayed she'd make it through this.

Brady turned to look at her. "Really?"

He sounds happy, Lorylyn thought with disgust. Stupid asshole! "Yeah," she said. "You can go to prom with her." Suddenly she was furious. At this whole situation, at him for the way he had acted last night and the way he was acting now, at Brooke, at life. Her voice turned nasty. "You can do whatever you want with her. You can fuck her again, if you want. 'Cause we're done!" She spun on her heel and walked quickly back in the other direction, squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears and hugging her books even tighter.

She heard Brady give an incredulous laugh. "Are you really fuckin' serious? You're breaking up with me 'cause of this? Fine. Be a bitch." He snorted again, then she heard him kick a locker.

Lorylyn broke into a run and didn't stop until she was locked in a bathroom stall. She sobbed until there were no tears left, then pulled her feet up on the toilet seat so no one could see her legs. The bathroom was starting to get crowded.

"Is somebody in that last stall?" a girl asked. Lorylyn didn't answer, and somebody pulled on the door. When it didn't open, whoever it was went away.

Lorylyn sat silently, her head buried in her knees. When the one-minute bell rang, the bathroom started to empty. Lorylyn waited until a couple minutes after the final bell, then came out and looked at herself in the mirror. She looked awful. She tried to arrange her hair so it fell more in front of her face, but it still didn't come close to hiding her puffy red eyes. She'd have to wait awhile longer. There was no way she could go to class looking like this. She was just turning around to go back and wait in her stall so no one would come in and see her when Hilton and Jill burst into the bathroom.

"Lorylyn!" they cried. Seeing her face, they both ran to hug her. "We've been looking all over for you! What happened? Neither one of you guys came to the commons this morning!" They were both talking at once.

"He laughed at me," Lorylyn said, and suddenly she was sobbing again. "He laughed and said, 'Are you really fucking serious? Fine. Be a bitch.' And then he kicked a locker."

"Aww, hon, we're so sorry," Hilton said soothingly.

"Yeah, what an asshole! I'm so glad you're done with him!" Jill said.

Finally Lorylyn lifted her head and wiped at her eyes. "Damn it, now I have to wait even longer before I can go to class," she said, trying to laugh. "How'd you guys get out of class, anyway? Thanks for coming to find me."

"Oh, we just didn't even go to class yet," Jill said.

"Yeah, we're making that a trend this week," Hilton said, referring to Monday in SRT when they'd gotten to Ms. Kirkwood's room fifteen minutes late after Jill's sobbing fit in the bathroom. They'd just told Ms. Kirkwood what had happened, and she'd been totally understanding about it. They wouldn't be able to tell Mrs. Craft, their English teacher, about this though.

"Oh no! What are you guys gonna do?" Lorylyn asked, wiping her eyes some more. Hilton grabbed some toilet paper and handed it to her.

"Don't worry, Ms. Kirkwood will write us a pass. She'll write you one too."

"Ms. Kirkwood?"

"Our myth teacher."

"Oh, the one who lets you go in her room for SRT?" Jill and Hilton had told Lorylyn, even though they weren't supposed to tell anyone. They had told Landon and Todd too.

"Yeah."

"But she doesn't even know me."

"It doesn't matter," Hilton said. "She'll write you a pass. She's awesome."

"Hey!" Jill said suddenly. "Hillary always carries makeup with her at school. If we could get her out of class, she'd be able to help you fix your makeup."

"Does she know about this?" Lorylyn asked.

"No, we didn't see her till we got to the commons, so we couldn't tell her in front of everybody, and we weren't even sure what happened," Jill said.

"Was Brady at the commons?" Lorylyn asked quietly.

"No," Hilton and Jill said together, their voices sympathetic.

It was silent for a moment. "Well, Hill's in Algebra II, but how are we gonna get her out of class?" Lorylyn asked, her voice still filled with anguish.

"Um...okay. Who's her teacher?" Hilton asked.

"Michaels," Lorylyn said, looking at herself in the mirror and trying to wipe the mascara away from under her eyes.

"Okay. Jill, stay here with Lorylyn. I'll go get Hillary and be back."

"How are you gonna get Hillary?"

Hilton grinned. "With a pass from Ms. Kirkwood."

Hilton rushed across the school to Ms. Kirkwood's room, praying no one stopped her for being in the hall without a pass. When she reached the classroom, she peeked in. The students were working in groups and talking. She breathed a sigh of relief and slid into the room.

"Hey, Ms. Kirkwood," she said, approaching her desk.

Ms. Kirkwood looked up from her computer screen and smiled. "Hi, Hilton! What's going on?"

"Um...Jill and I have a little problem. Our friend, she broke up with her boyfriend this morning, and she's in the bathroom crying. And Jill and I knew she was gonna break up with him, so we went all over looking for her to make sure she was okay, and so we just found her and talked to her, and so we haven't been to class yet. But Lorylyn can't even go to class, 'cause she's been bawling and her makeup's all messed up." Hilton paused and smiled wryly. "So we have this other friend, Hillary, who always keeps makeup with her. So is there any way you could write Hillary a pass so she can go help Lorylyn, and then you could write us all a pass to class?"

Ms. Kirkwood laughed, and Hilton breathed a sigh of relief. "What is it with you girls and crying in bathrooms?" She dug in a drawer for her passes. When she looked back at Hilton, her eyes showed concern. "Is Lorylyn gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. She's just really upset 'cause her boyfriend's pretty much an asshole. Oh, sorry!" Hilton covered her mouth.

Ms. Kirkwood waved it away as she wrote out a pass. "Don't worry about it. What's Hillary's last name?"

"Um, Andelin."

"Okay. Here's a pass for Hillary, and when you girls are all ready to go back to class, come back and get another pass. Here...take this so you don't get in trouble in the hall." She handed Hilton a teddy bear with a sign around its neck that read _Ms. Kirkwood's Pass_.

"Aww, that's cute. Thanks soooo much, Ms. Kirkwood."

"No problem."

As Hilton walked into Hillary's Algebra II class a couple minutes later, she caught Hillary's eye. Hillary gave her a weird look. Hilton walked to Mr. Michaels, who was standing at the board, and handed him the pass, then turned and walked back to the door.

"Hillary," Mr. Michaels said as Hilton was leaving.

Hilton waited for Hillary in the hallway and explained the whole story as quickly as she could on the way back to the bathroom.

"Holy shit!" Hillary said. "I can't believe him! What a fucking bastard! Oh, shit! I left my bag in there, and my makeup's in it."

"Oh! Well, go back and get it, and meet me in the bathroom. The one by the health hall."

"Okay."

Hillary rushed back to her classroom. When she walked to her desk, then picked up her backpack and turned to leave without sitting down, the whole class stared at her. "Sorry. Just needed my bag," she said with a pretend embarrassed smile, then rushed out as fast as she could.

In the bathroom, Hillary helped Lorylyn fix her makeup. Lorylyn seemed to feel better for the moment, and finally they all headed to class, stopping by Ms. Kirkwood's room first to get their passes.

"Thanks so much, Ms. Kirkwood," Jill and Hilton called as they rushed back out of her room.

When Jill and Hilton got to English, the class was sitting around the room reading. They gave Mrs. Castle their passes, then joined Todd and Nick Castle by the window.

"Where the hell were you guys?" Todd asked.

"Talking to Lorylyn," Jill said. "Her and Brady broke up."

"What? Why?"

" 'Cause he's an asshole," Hilton said, and her tone said the conversation was over. Todd was smart enough not to ask anything else.

It was quiet for a moment, then Nick said, "So my mom asked if anybody knew where you guys were, and Todd goes, 'I don't know, I know they're here; I just saw them in the commons right before school.' " He looked at Todd with a grin.

"Todd! Thanks a lot!" Jill said, laughing. Hilton smacked Todd on the arm.

"Dude, shut up. I wasn't thinking, okay?" Todd laughed too, and Jill and Hilton opened _The Scarlet Letter_ and began reading.

***

"Brooke!"

She turned from her locker at the sound of Brady's voice. He was striding purposefully toward her. He stopped when he reached her, resting his hand above his head on the closed locker next to hers. "Wanna go to prom with me?"

"What?" Brooke was bewildered. "I thought Lorylyn said no."

"Yeah, well, she came up to me right after I talked to you this morning and told me she'd changed her mind. Then she broke up with me."

" _What?!_ She broke up with you 'cause of _that_?" Brooke was ecstatic and trying as hard as she could not to show it. Could it get any better than this?!

"Oh, yeah. She did. So you know what? Fuck her. I don't even care. We're gonna have an awesome time at prom, and I won't have to worry about her bitching at me. So you still wanna go?"

"Yeah, definitely!" Brooke slammed her locker door, then grabbed onto Brady's arm and pulled a little to get him to start walking with her. She smiled up at him as they walked and leaned into him with her shoulder. "Yay, Brady! I'm really sorry about Lorylyn, but this is gonna be so much fun!"

***

Lorylyn was walking to her second period class when she passed Brady and Brooke in the hallway. Brooke was smiling, and she leaned into him for a second, saying something Lorylyn couldn't hear. And of course she looked more beautiful than ever, with her shiny brown hair pulled back just a little right at the top, and her stylish outfit....Brady smiled down at her, and they laughed.

Lorylyn turned away, pretending not to have seen. She was humiliated. Everyone in the hall was probably looking at her and at Brady and Brooke and wondering what the hell was going on. And by the end of the day Brooke and Brady probably would've spread some exaggerated story that made her look like a complete uptight bitch.

She shook her head and stared at the ground, willing the tears to stay back this time. She should've known Brady would go running right to Brooke. What had she been thinking when she hoped he wouldn't? And she'd really thought there was a good chance he might not, too. She should've known. How had she been so completely stupid all year? She felt like she'd been walking around with her eyes closed, thinking things were great between her and Brady, while this whole Brooke thing built up. She seen it at Hilton's birthday party and that day on his email account, but she had deliberately shut her eyes to it.

She tried to remind herself what Jill had said..."Then there's your answer." But she didn't want that to be her answer. That meant she'd been wrong about everything all along...wrong about Brady being a sweet guy, wrong about the two of them being the perfect couple, wrong about not confronting him earlier, wrong about there not being anything between him and Brooke. Just wrong.

### chapter 15) the big picture

Todd finished his assignment early in advanced computers the next day, and Jill could tell he was typing on email. She got up to go to the trash can so she could look at his screen when she sat back down. Her stomach turned. He was writing back and forth to Melanie. Just as she'd feared.

"Are you going out with her again this weekend?" she asked as she sat back down, trying to sound casual but glaring at the back of Melanie's head across the room.

"Nah, probably not," Todd said without looking up. "I have a double-header, and she has a big invite for track. And Sunday's Easter."

"Oh. But you guys have been talking a lot?"

Todd glanced at Jill, as if trying to focus on what she was saying. "No, not really. Just emailing a little."

"Oh." Jill turned back to her own computer, ready to burst. So much for "Good Friday." Then she felt a little guilty, because she hadn't even given a second thought to Easter yet this year, or to the meaning of Good Friday.

Please forgive me, she prayed silently. I promise I'll really focus in church this Sunday. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually paid attention to the sermon. She was always thinking about Todd or something else going on at school or with her friends. But she couldn't say she was that happy with God right now. She'd prayed every night for things to work out with Todd, and look what was happening. Why me? she asked silently, her eyes cast toward the ceiling. I'm a lot better than most people. I pray, and I go to church, and nothing ever works out for me and a guy. So why does it for people who probably don't pray at all, like Melanie? Jill wrinkled her nose at the ceiling and turned back to her computer.

***

At lunch, Jill, Todd, Bennett, Hilton, and Lorylyn were all sitting at their table already when Brady walked into the cafeteria. Jill, Hilton, and Lorylyn saw him at the same time, and their eyes followed him silently as he walked straight to the far side of the cafeteria and sat down at a table they couldn't see. He hadn't even looked their way. The girls' eyes met, and Lorylyn said, "He wouldn't even look at me in chem." Then the bell rang and they were dismissed to get their food, and no one mentioned it again.

***

The next day Jill drove Hillary to the varsity baseball double-header at West Side, one of the schools in Logan. Todd and Dirk had both gotten to dress varsity. Jill's thought was that she'd be here and Melanie wouldn't, so Todd would be thinking about her and not Mel. She even hoped they might hang out afterwards with Hillary and Dirk, and maybe even Hilton and Landon, when Hilton got done with her tennis invitational.

Brady had a horrible first game, striking out four times, and Jill was psyched to see he didn't get to play the second game. She'd been able to tell he'd been cussing every time he struck out, so that was probably why he'd been benched. He was one of the team's best players, so normally a bad game at bat wouldn't keep him sidelined in the next game.

Todd was put in to pitch in the second game, with one out in the top of the sixth inning. Jill was thrilled; he hadn't been sure if he'd play or not. He struck out his first batter, but the second one hit a three-run homer off him. Todd threw his glove down and kicked furiously at the pitcher's mound.

Jill turned to Hillary for a second, unable to watch. Todd got taken out right away, and he threw his glove again just before he entered the dugout. Jill's heart broke for him. And it sucked for her too, because now he'd never be in the mood to do anything after the game.

***

"Dude, that was so funny. I was rolling," Bennett was saying Monday morning when Jill and Hilton joined everyone by the coat check counter.

"What's up?" Hilton asked.

Bennett looked at her, laughing hysterically. Kelsey was laughing too, and Todd had a dumb grin on his face.

"We're just making fun of dumb-ass over here," Bennett said, pointing his thumb at Todd.

Jill waited eagerly for Bennett to continue. It sounded like a good story.

"So we're in my basement Saturday night," Bennett said, "watching a movie, and me and Kels hear this thud, and we look over at the couch, and Melanie's laying on the floor." He stopped, laughing again.

Jill's eyes flew to Hilton's, then she looked down. Saturday night?! Todd had done something with Melanie Saturday night?! After that horrible baseball game when she'd been sure he'd be too pissed to even wanna hang out with her, he'd gone on a date with Melanie? Jill felt betrayed. He'd told her he wasn't going out with Melanie at all this weekend!

"He knocked her on the floor!" Kelsey continued Bennett's story exuberantly. "They were making out and he tried to move closer to her, and he knocked her on the floor!" A loud laugh escaped her mouth, and she looked at Todd gleefully.

Todd was staring at the ground, but he was grinning.

They were making out?! Jill thought. On the second date?! How does it always happen for everyone but me? I was laying on the couch with him after Homecoming, and he started to kiss me, but he never did! How did Melanie make it happen? What the fuck?! Just the thought of Todd wanting to kiss another girl made her unbearably jealous. And now she'd probably missed her chance with him. What had she been doing wrong all this time, and how come every other girl knew how to make something happen with a guy except her? Even these freshman girls!

Suddenly she remembered what her grandma had said in California. Something about making the most of every chance, so she wouldn't have to look back later and regret missing one. Jill felt deflated. She'd totally missed hers. It had blown right by her, and she hadn't even realized it. She'd been too caught up in the moment and unable to see the big picture. _Why_ had she not made more of her time with Todd? _So_ many times she could've just kissed him...last summer, Homecoming, so many other times this year...how could she have been so stupid?! She wished she could go back and do it all over again....She felt her chest tightening, her whole world slipping out from under her. She was gong to lose Todd, and it was all her fault.

***

And of course it was a green day, so at lunch Jill had to hear about it all over again from Melanie and Kelsey. Her one slim hope had been that Melanie would think Todd was a complete loser after what had happened, but she seemed to think it was as hilarious as Bennett and Kelsey did.

Jill sat there silently, stuffing French fries in her mouth numbly and wondering how her sophomore year had suddenly gone from cloud nine to the gutter in a week and hating herself for not seeing it coming way back last summer and doing something when she still had the chance.

### chapter 16) prom

The second Saturday in May, Jill, Hilton, and Hillary went to the Grand March together to see all the prom couples. Lorylyn had said there was no way in hell she was going, and Dirk couldn't care less.

The three girls had just sat down in what was normally the junior high student section during basketball games when Jill saw Todd, Melanie, Bennett, and Kelsey walk in.

"Don't let them see us," she said anxiously to Hilton and Hillary, nodding in their direction. Hilton and Hillary turned to look. "I don't wanna sit by them," Jill added in explanation.

But the foursome took a seat on the other side of the gym. Jill couldn't tear her eyes away from them. It was so weird to see those four together. Before Melanie, she would've probably been with them right now. She felt like she'd been replaced, and like she wasn't welcome in their group anymore. Not that she'd want to be part of it anyway.

***

"Are you gonna hook up with Brady tonight?" Lindy asked Brooke as they neared the gym. It was almost their turn to be presented to the crowd. The boys were entering the gym from the other side.

"I don't know," Brooke said thoughtfully, pretending to be pondering it. "Do you think it'd be bad?"

"I don't know. You guys seem to be getting along so well lately. I don't know what to think. I mean, it's been over a month since him and Lorylyn broke up. So I guess there's nothing holding you back. I just don't want you to get hurt again. I think you should take it slow. It seems like he's different, like he doesn't just want sex from you like before, but you never know. Just be careful."

"I will," Brooke promised, rolling her eyes and smiling to herself as she turned back to the gym doors. She was next in line.

As the couple ahead of her joined arms and stepped off the platform, Brooke gathered up her full skirt in her hands and walked confidently into the gym and up the steps, grinning at Brady as she linked her arm through his. He was beautiful.

"Brooke Carlson and Brady Cash," Mr. O'Malley said into the mic.

Brooke beamed at the crowd as she and Brady reached the bottom of the steps and began walking the Xs taped to the gym floor that set out a path for them to follow. There'd been a practice Grand March on Thursday during SRT, so they knew what they were doing. Plus, Brooke had been coming to these things since she was little.

"Lindy Brooks and Landon Kessler," Mr. O'Malley's voice boomed out behind them, and as she and Brady made their first turn, Brooke looked back at Lindy with a smile.

When Brooke and Brady finished their walk and got in line on one side of the gym, Brooke kept her arm through Brady's. She was a little disappointed Lindy and Landon would be on the other side of the gym, since every other couple went to the opposite side, but at least she'd have some alone time with Brady.

"I'm having so much fun," she told him, smiling up at him. She reached up with her free hand to push the curl out of his eye.

"Thanks," he laughed, shaking his head to throw the curl back away from his face. "I am too." Then he leaned down and whispered in her ear, "But I can't wait till the real fun later."

Brooke grinned back at him wickedly. "Me neither."

After the last couple was announced, music began playing in the background, and each couple walked again, one right after another this time without their names being announced. Then each couple came to the front a third time and joined with another couple to walk the path in groups of four. Then they walked straight down the gym in groups of eight, then they formed rows of sixteen, taking up the whole gym floor, and waited for the Prom Court to be announced.

"Welcome, everyone, to the 1999 Brinkley-Caldwell prom, Too Good to Be True," Mr. O'Malley said. "Now we would like to announce your Prom Court, voted for this week by those who had purchased tickets to the dance. First, representing the junior class as Prom Prince..."

Brooke's stomach tightened. She wanted this so badly...and if Brady got Prince, she'd probably be Princess.

"Landon Kessler!"

Brooke's heart sank. She still had a chance, but it didn't even matter that much if she wasn't with Brady.

"And for your Prom Princess...Lindy Brooks!"

Brooke smiled, removing her hand from Brady's arm so she could clap for Lindy.

Lindy was ecstatic, smiling happily at Brooke as she moved past her out of the row. Brooke squeezed her arm and grinned back.

As Lindy joined Landon on the platform and Mr. O'Malley pinned her tiara on, she looked more beautiful than Brooke had ever seen her.

"She so deserves this," Brooke whispered to Brady, meaning it. "I'm so excited for her!"

She figured now that Landon and Lindy would probably be Homecoming King and Queen next year too. Kayley Bradbury had been Prom Princess last year and Homecoming Queen this year....It had been Brooke's dream ever since she made Homecoming Court her freshman year to be Queen, but it didn't really look like that'd happen now.

After announcing and crowning the King, Mr. O'Malley said, "And for your Queen of Too Good to Be True...Kayley Bradbury!"

Brooke laughed a little. Yep, it was going to be Lindy all the way through. She was surprised how little it suddenly mattered to her that she probably didn't have a chance for Homecoming Queen. But she knew why it didn't matter....She looked up at Brady and squeezed his arm. She had all she wanted right here.

***

After the Grand March, everyone was allowed to mill around the gym and talk to the prom-goers and take pictures. Brooke and Brady had just finished posing for a picture with Lindy and Landon for Lindy's parents when a cute little old lady touched Brooke's arm.

Brooke looked down at her in surprise.

"I just wanted to tell you," the lady said, "I graduated from this high school in 1947, and I've been coming to all the games and such ever since, and I've noticed you two at every Homecoming game for the past three years. I think you make a wonderful couple. As well as those two." She gestured at Lindy and Landon, who were talking to Lindy's parents. Lindy's tiara sparkled in the light. "It's so nice to see you're all such great friends. Well, I'll be going, but I just wanted to say something to you. You look beautiful." She moved her hand from Brooke's arm to Brady's. "And you're a very handsome young man." She moved away.

Brooke looked up at Brady and giggled, unable to believe it. She'd thought that the last two years at Homecoming...that maybe people noticed them year after year, but she didn't really know if people did. It was like a dream come true for someone to say that to her. And in front of Brady...that was even better. She loved the image of them as the perfect couple that'd been together all through high school. She hoped he was figuring out how perfect they were for each other too, and realizing his relationship with Lorylyn had been nothing in comparison.

"Hey, guys! You look gorgeous, Lindy! I'm so excited you guys got Prince and Princess! Let me get a picture!"

Brooke turned around to see Hilton, Jill, and Hillary. Hilton was raising her camera to snap a picture of Landon and Lindy.

"Hey, guys!" Brooke said, raising her finger to her nose for just a second as Jill and Hillary looked in her direction.

Jill did it back but didn't smile. Hillary gave Brooke a weird look, then turned to Jill, confused. Jill just shook her head.

Hilton took another picture, then turned off her camera.

"Oh, hey, do you want one with all four of us?" Lindy asked her, motioning to Brooke and Brady.

Hilton looked right at Brooke, then raised her eyes to Brady's and smiled a little bit. "No, that's all right." Then she turned and walked away.

Jill and Hillary looked at each other, and Brooke could tell they were trying not to laugh. Then they hurried after Hilton.

Brooke looked up at Brady. He stared after Hilton for a minute, looking upset.

"Hey, don't let it bother you," she said, reaching up and squeezing his chin in a friendly gesture.

"I'm not," he said, grinning down at her and squeezing her chin back. "Let's go." He reached for her hand and intertwined his fingers with hers.

Brooke's heart raced. For her, this was as good as sex, but in a different way. He was finally being affectionate with her in public, and she had the intimacy she'd desired outside of the sex.

***

The four of them had a great time at prom, dancing and joking around all night. Brooke felt beautiful. She always felt pretty when she was dressed up for dances, but being with Brady made her feel more radiant than ever. And now that he and Lorylyn were broken up, they didn't have to worry about acting like "just friends" at the dance.

When he kissed her in the middle of the dance floor during a slow song, Brooke felt like she was in heaven.

Lindy and Landon were dancing right next to them, and when Brooke and Brady finally stopped kissing, Lindy shot her a grin.

Brooke decided this was the best night of her life. It was great not having to hide this thing with Brady from everyone, but it was especially great not having to hide it from Lindy anymore and knowing that Lindy was happy for her. It really was "too good to be true."

Brooke beamed at Lindy, then impulsively kissed Brady again.

***

After prom, they went to Landon's and watched a movie. Then Landon and Lindy went to bed, Landon in his room and Lindy in one of the other rooms.

"Finally," Brady whispered to Brooke, and after a little making out in one of the recliners, they moved to the other empty bedroom.

Brooke thought of the last time she'd been here with him, when it'd been fast and hungry and breathless and exhilarating. Tonight started out slower, but by the end it was just as hungry and passionate, and even more exhilarating.

Brooke lay in bed afterward, out of breath and unable to stop smiling.

"I think that might have been the best ever," Brady gasped, sounding like he'd just run a marathon.

"Oh, yeah. Definitely the best ever."

***

The next day they went to Cedar Point. It was a little chilly and drizzly, but still fun. It was the first weekend Cedar Point was open, but because of the weather there wasn't much of a crowd.

That made it more fun, and the four of them were hyper all day, running around and splashing each other by jumping in puddles. While it was raining and some of the rides were closed, they sat in Macaroni's for two hours and talked about how much fun they'd had the night before.

When the rides started running test cars, they ran to get in line for the Magnum and were in the first car up when it reopened.

"Let's start kissing right before we go over the top," Brady said. "And see how long we can keep doing it. And you have to keep your hands in the air."

"Okay." Brooke giggled excitedly.

Just before the top, Brady leaned over and kissed her, pulling her arms up in the air. Right as they reached the crest of the hill and started to plunge over, big fat raindrops hit their outstretched hands and their hair and faces, and as they hung there weightless for the briefest of seconds, Brooke thought it was the most romantic moment of her life.

### chapter 17) so in the meantime

"I still can't believe Todd and Melanie are officially together," Jill said dejectedly three and a half weeks later as she sat down at a computer in Ms. Kirkwood's room.

"Uh, I know," Hilton agreed, rolling her eyes as she turned away from her own computer. She didn't understand at all. She'd been so sure all year that Todd liked Jill, and Landon had been sure too. She felt horrible for Jill and pissed off at Todd for leading her on like that if he never really liked her.

Jill had found out they were officially together the day before at lunch...from Melanie. It'd been awful those mornings in the commons, hearing from Dirk and Bennett and Kelsey and Todd what was going on with Todd and Melanie, but Jill hadn't realized until yesterday how much she'd rather hear it from Todd than from Melanie. She now felt totally and completely out of the loop. It must have happened over the weekend, and Todd hadn't called to tell her, or even mentioned it before school or in English that morning.

"Hey, guys," Lorylyn said, coming in and tossing her bag down at the computer next to Jill. "What's going on?" The day after Lorylyn had broken up with Brady, Hilton and Jill had brought Lorylyn with them to SRT, and Ms. Kirkwood had said it was fine for her to start coming every day.

"Nothing," Jill said glumly, slumping down in her seat.

Lorylyn made a glum face too. "It's been a shitty end of the year. The Brady thing, the Todd thing, and Hilton and Lindy lost last week..."

Hilton waved her hand. "Oh, that's all right. It was a bummer, but there's always next year. Then after that I'll be all by myself...probably playing singles..." She made a sad face. She and Lindy had been doubles partners in tennis for the second year in a row, and had lost at regional in the second and final round in a third-set tiebreaker.

"Oh, speaking of it being a shitty end of the year," Jill said, "you probably don't even wanna know, but Brooke was telling everyone in children's lit yesterday how her dad and mom got together and went around her step-dad and gave her the money for Spain for her birthday."

Lorylyn shrugged. "Like it matters. Spain or not, they'll probably end up together." She laughed bitterly. "I was at the mall last night with my mom, and we went past Foot Locker and she was in there talking to him. And it's like we don't even know each other in chem. Even when we do a lab, it's like I'm just some girl who's his lab partner, and that's it. He won't make eye contact with me. I can't believe it. It's like we never had anything. He should've just been with her all along."

"Come on, guys," Hilton said, giving them a sympathetic look. "Cheer up! We only have two days of school left. It's almost summer!" She hated seeing Jill so bummed, but it was almost worse seeing Lorylyn this way, because she was usually the most giggly, perky person Hilton knew, always excited about something in her innocent, cheerful way. Hilton hated Brady for taking that out of her.

"That's just depressing," Jill said. "It's gonna be so different from last summer." Her computer beeped.

"Ooh, Detter," Hilton said, peering at the screen. "You guys have been emailing a lot lately."

Jill shrugged indifferently. "Whatever. I just can't understand how he could wanna be with her. After everything we had together, all the memories...he went to California with me when my aunt died! I just can't imagine what it's gonna be like this summer without him around."

"Oh, he'll be around," Hilton said.

"Not really," Jill said, feeling like she might cry. "Not like he was last summer. We probably won't even hang out except when Landon has parties. It's not like I can invite him over to come swimming anymore."

"Sure you can," Hilton said. "You and Todd are best friends. You can do whatever the fuck you want with him. He still came over to watch _Friends_ right up till the finale."

"That's true." Jill straightened up a little. "I guess I can. But him and Melanie weren't officially together at the season finale. So it's different now."

"No it's not. She's gotta understand he has friends. If she doesn't, fuck her. She knows you guys are best friends. And we'll invite him to Cedar Point for Hillary and Lorylyn's birthday, and we won't invite her. And I'll have Landon have us all over to go tubing again."

"Okay," Jill said, brightening somewhat. "That'll be fun."

"Yeah. Don't give up and just let him fall out of your life. Don't stop being his best friend. You guys are meant to be together. He'll see that eventually."

"Do you really think that?" Jill had never heard Hilton say she and Todd were meant to be together before. She knew Hilton had thought they'd make a cute couple, but this was totally different.

"Are you kidding me?" Hilton asked. "You're Ross and Rachel." She grinned at Jill, knowing Jill would like that comment.

"We are," Jill said, smiling. Then she clapped her hands and giggled. "And they just got married in Vegas! So maybe they'll get back together." The season five finale had ended with a huge shocker: Ross and Rachel drunkenly leaving a Vegas wedding chapel.

"Exactly. They had a rough patch, where it just wasn't the right time. But they'll end up together. Just like you and Todd. Meant to be together, just not right now."

Jill smiled. She liked the sound of that. She started typing back to Detter.

"And we have the student council stuff," Hilton added. "Car washes and cookouts and stuff. That's gonna be so fun next year. I'm so glad we made it." She smiled at Jill.

Jill smiled back, but she didn't share Hilton's excitement as much as she had when Hilton had first convinced her to run. Back then she'd been hoping she could convince Todd to run too, but with everything that had been going on with Melanie, she hadn't even suggested it to him. She'd been afraid of another let-down, another feeling of rejection.

"What about me, guys?" Lorylyn asked despondently. "I don't even know if I wanna go to Cedar Point this year. It'll just make me think of how great things were with me and Brady when we went last year. And I didn't run for student council." Her big brown eyes were sad.

"Don't worry," Hilton said, trying to be encouraging. "You can run next year. And we'll find you another guy for the summer. You can have a summer fling. Plus you have us. And we love you, and we're way better than some asshole guy." She smiled at Lorylyn and was relieved to get a small smile back. "Trust me, guys." Hilton grinned at both of them now, her eyes sparkling. "It's gonna be a great summer. Right now, put your hands together." She held her hand out, and Jill and Lorylyn placed theirs on top. "This is to all of us and all the fun we're gonna have this summer. And it's to Brady dying in Spain." Hilton flashed a grin at Lorylyn, and this time she got a genuine grin back. "But really, here's to not letting guys ruin our lives or control our feelings, but to going out and having a great time no matter what the hell kind of stupid issues they have going on...like being too stupid to see what girl they should be with. And here's to knowing that we're too good to sit around bumming and putting our lives on pause while they're out _living_ their lives. We're gonna live our lives too, and the most important thing is it's gonna be all of us together."

All three girls raised their hands in the air, smiling at each other. Jill felt immensely better. Hilton was right. She and Todd were meant to be together, but right now must not be their time. So in the meantime, she was going to live her life...and live it to the fullest.

###

### Next, in _Spin the Bottle_...

###

### _Best-Kept Secrets_...

###

### *Todd's relationship with Melanie sends Jill spiraling in a new direction that could lead to trouble...

### *Brady and Brooke fly off to Spain...

### *Lorylyn struggles to get over her first love...

### *Todd faces more problems at home...

### *Hilton takes her relationship with Landon to the next level...

### *Hillary inadvertently makes a horrifying discovery about her past...

### *Blake Bishop becomes a sudden and surprising, if only temporary, ally...

### *a new girl, Savannah, moves to BCHS...

### *the seniors plan for life after high school...

### *Kara Darson attempts to get her revenge with a bold act that could prove devastating to everyone involved...

### *Brooke hides her most shocking secret yet...

### *Landon's parties and spin the bottle continue to draw everyone together for better or worse...

### *and much, much more! Look for it soon, and live out junior year with Jill, Hilton, Lorylyn, Todd, Hillary, Bennett, and everyone else!

###

###

### Check out Daisy Jordan's _Spin the Bottle_ website for updates and to see the characters' individual webpages!!! _http://spinthebottle.daisyjordan.com_

Follow Daisy Jordan on Twitter!

### http://www.twitter.com/DaisyJordan06

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### About the Author: Daisy Jordan grew up in Indiana and attended Purdue University, where she earned bachelor's degrees in English Education and psychology and her master's degree in school counseling. She now lives in Denver. She is a former high school gymnast who still can't resist some good boy drama. :) She is the author of several other novels, including the rest of the _Spin the Bottle_ series, _All That Sparkles Isn't Real Sapphire_ , _Everything Happens for a Reason..._ , and _Love Means Zero_. The first _Spin the Bottle_ novel, _Really Good Friends_ , is currently available on her Smashwords page, and the rest of the books will be available shortly!

###

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