

Just released!

FINDING THE LOVE YOU WANT

IN THAILAND

By Scott Curtis

Finding the Love You Want in Thailand

By Scott Curtis

Copyright © 2016. R. Nooklung.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

First Edition September 2016

Smashwords Edition License Notes:

This free ebook may be copied, distributed, reposted, reprinted and shared, provided it appears in its entirety without alteration, and the reader is not charged to access it.
"Once you've got a Thai girlfriend, you'll be happy as a pig in mud!"

Randy, 46, from Manchester, England

"I never thought that in my 50s, I'd be having the best time of my life with the prettiest girls!"

Steve, 51, from Portland, Oregon

"At an age when most guys are getting ready to go to the old age home, I'm just getting started with a new young wife and a new life!"

Bruce, 62, from Sydney, Australia
**A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR...**

This book is for you if you're interested in finding the love of your life in Thailand and bringing her back to your home country. Or if you're interested in finding love in Thailand and living or retiring there.

I'm offering this book to you free of charge to introduce you to the new 2nd edition of it's companion, _How I Moved to Thailand: Retired Early, Found Love, Built a Mansion, Live Like a King on a Pension--Plus How You Can Too!!!_ In that book, I tell my story and provide you with an in-depth example of what's possible for you in Thailand. In this book, I offer you stories and comments from 50 men about finding love in Thailand. That book outsold this one 50 to 1, so I hope to wet your appetite for the other book by offering you this one free.

They say you should write about what you know, and I've been married to an amazing and beautiful Thai girl for 15 years and have been living much of the time in Thailand for 16 years now. Scott Curtis is a pen name. I'm a fairly popular writer in America, and since both books are true and personal, I'm using a pen name to preserve my privacy. I've also changed the names and locations of the men who were kind enough to contribute to this book to preserve their privacy.

I felt compelled to write both books because I had a hard time finding love...until I came to Thailand. If you're having the same problem, I've got great news and I very much want to help you.

Ready?
**TABLE OF CONTENTS**

A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR

50 GUYS / 50 STORIES

ADVICE FROM OUR 50 GUYS

Just do it!

Reasons Thai women are happy to date/love/live with/marry older men:

Where to meet single women

Meeting Girls on the Internet

Who to Choose

Dating Do's and Don'ts

Understanding Thai Women

Guy Friends

Choosing to Get Serious

Marriage Do's and Don'ts

Settling In

Goodbye for now...
**50 GUYS / 50 STORIES**

Doug, 66, from Galway, Ireland

I'd been hearing about Thailand for years, so finally I took a trip here. I could hardly believe my eyes! First of all, it is cheap to live here, MUCH less than half what I'd pay in Ireland. I can have a First World life with all the conveniences- and even luxuries- of home without really stretching my budget. Lots of places in the Third World, I've heard, you just can't find lots of things. They just don't exist.

Second, the girls are gorgeous- many of them- and they're interested in me- some of them. Where have these girls been all my life? I wish I'd come here when I was 20, scooped one of them up- I'd have had a much happier life.

Third, they're not just gorgeous, they're also kind and charming and polite- many of them.

The other day, I was having some shoulder pain. I noticed there's a physio across the street, so I go over there. "Can you help my shoulder?" I ask the physiotherapist. "What does it say on the door?" she says. I look and it says "HELP PAIN." Now that's not a very charming reply, but she's smiling a charming smile- a great big beautiful smile! So tonight I'm taking this girl out. I just can't believe it! Not sure if it'll be for a $2 chicken meal at the night market or someplace more fancy. Yeah, I think I'll go for the fancy meal. Maybe go as high as $5!

My advice for any man out there? Get over here right away! You've wasted enough of your life!

Robert, 72, from Sydney, Australia

My wife- my first wife- had Alzheimer's. Didn't remember who I was. I stayed with her till the end, through many rough years.

When she passed, a buddy in Bangkok told me I should visit him. He told me what a great place it was. My life was over in Sydney. I had no wife, no relations there anymore, no friends to speak of. So I went.

I didn't much like Bangkok. All the cars and pollution and noise... I don't go out at night, so the nightlife doesn't interest me.

My friend- bless him- had lined up some girls for me to meet from some Internet dating service. He'd written them! So when I showed up, right away I was in the middle of the action. That's where I met Som. She was working as an accountant at a bank- now she doesn't work anymore- doesn't need to. She's 53, and a very lovely girl- just right for me. She cares for me, she loves me, she's given me a new life. She's from Nong Khai, so after we married, we moved there.

I bought a nice small home for $40,000 a couple years ago. It's well-built, in a nice development. I guess living here costs me 20% what it costs to live in Sydney.

Chuck, 43, from Brisbane, Australia

My wife died after 16 years of marriage. I was devastated and didn't date for a long time. When I did, I realized that in Australia, I was just never going to meet anyone as wonderful as her. Maybe in 10 years- but I didn't want to take 10 years. The last date I had in Australia was with quite an upper class woman I took out dancing and drinking. For no reason I could figure, she became sullen, quiet, withdrawn. I asked her what was wrong, but she said nothing. I told her if she was in such a bad mood, there was no use our staying. When I turned my back, she hit me full on in the head with her fist! And that, as they say, was that.

Thai women are so lovely and kind and gentle, just the sort of women my wife was. I decided I should come here and meet one of them. On my job on the oil rig, I work 3 weeks and then get 3 weeks off. So I came here to see if I couldn't meet someone. One day, I was in a department store in Bangkok when I saw the most extraordinarily beautiful girl. Really, most of them are great looking, but she was extraordinary, even for here! I smiled at her, and she smiled at me, and I asked her if she'd have some tea with me and she said yes. That was three years ago, and we've been together ever since. We're not married, but we love each other and we're as committed as any married couple. We live together in her family's place here in Bangkok. Her son looks at me as his father. I'm a real part of the family- _this is my family_.

I have to go back to Australia soon, but I'm hoping I won't have to forever. I'm learning how to become a day trader, and if I can make enough money, I can stay here. I'm not trading Australian stocks- I trade technology stocks in America. Everything that's big always starts in America, and if you have a good tech idea, well it's just like printing money. So I'm hoping to make my fortune this way. And to not have to go on working in Australia.

My dream is to build a 4 story home here. The first floor would be a shop where Na could sell something. Then the top floor would be our bedroom and a garden outside. In between would be the kitchen, living room, etc. Maybe I'll even have a lift, as I might get tired going up and down so many floors. Right now I've started looking around for land, but it's expensive in Bangkok. Still, I think I'll be able to work things out, somehow...

Brad, 71, from Torrance, California

I was divorced- had quite a bitter divorce actually- when I met Som. We were both working at a non-profit in Bangkok, she was one of the helpers. Marriage? I wasn't really interested. I thought that part of my life was over and done with. And she was quite a bit younger. But Som, she was always looking after me, like a stalker (he laughs). And I came to care about her and love her. When I went back to America, I found I missed her. I felt empty inside without her. And so when I came back, I came back to her, and I married her.

Tony, 58, from Bath, U.K.

I work in Afghanistan, I'm a mechanic for a cargo shipper. I get off 2 weeks every two months, and I come here, to Nongsum. I like it! It's a small quiet Thai town. Most of the people make their money from farming. You have to like country living to like Nongsum, and I do.

There are maybe 40 farang (foreigners) in Nongsum. They're all characters, but I like them, or at least I like some of them.

I met my girlfriend through my best friend. He was going with a girl who had a friend- that sort of thing. I'm so happy he introduced us. She's just a great gal!

I have eight years to go until I retire. Sure hope the war keeps going until I'm ready to retire. Not sure what we're going to do. Right now we rent a very nice spacious house for $200 a month. I've thought about building, and I can afford it, but not sure if I'd want to build in our little town, or maybe in some larger town where there's more to do.

James, 65, from Naples, Florida

Like most guys, I met my wife on the Internet. She was the prettiest girl on the page, so I wrote her. And I'm glad I did, she's not only pretty, but pretty wonderful!

We live in Bangkok, my wife works for Toyota, and I'm retired. They say Bangkok is so expensive, but I haven't found it so bad. Yeah, if you eat at fancy restaurants, it can cost any amount. But I mostly eat at Thai restaurants or carts on the streets, the sort of food Thais eat. It might cost $1 for a full meal, maybe $1.30 if you have pad Thai.

Andy, 46, from Birmingham, England

I met my girlfriend at one of the sites everybody uses. There was something about her, aside from her being really beautiful, that I really liked. For one thing, her English was really good, which it turned out was because her sister was translating! And she was funny. Really, she seemed too good to be true.

A month after we started writing each other I said to myself, "I have got to go meet this girl!" So I flew all the way over here from England, although I only had a week. And- aside from her English not being so good (laughs) she really was just the same- and terrific!

I came back for a month a few months later, and now I'm back for three months. Not so hard to do in winter as nobody wants a gardener now anyway (laughs). And I'm happy as a clam in water- isn't that the American expression?

Jim, 58, from Gallup, New Mexico

I've been married four times, to an American, a Mexican, a Moroccan, and now a Thai. So you know I really believe in marriage!

My wife was brought up poor. One time she told me, she plugged a borrowed TV into a defective outlet and it started to melt. So the family had to give their TV to make up for the one she destroyed- and they didn't have a TV for years!

We met on the Internet. I love her, but she is the cheapest person I've ever met. She wraps gifts in the cartoon pages of newspapers. She takes scraps of soap and melts them together to form new bars of soap. Buys a T-shirt- and asks if it's okay if she keeps the hanger! She takes advertising return envelopes, cuts one side, turns them over, puts a bit of glue on it, and recycles the envelope! Doesn't want me going out drinking with me mates, says the money I spend for a beer, it would be cheaper to drink at home. That's true, but it's not half the fun. She's got me living like a subsistence farmer, which is what she was. It's great she's so thrifty, but really, we're not that needy!

Dave, 67, from New York City, New York

I was an architect living in New York City, and I had to face the fact that I would never have enough money to retire. I was tired of my work- I've been doing it for 30 years- and I was divorced and lonely. My brother had been in similar circumstances, and he had moved to Chiang Mai 2 years before. Was living in a fancy smancy condo almost for free, and had a girl like, well like you see in a magazine. And she had a sister...

Rick, 65, from Dallas, Texas

I was a UPS driver in Texas. I hurt my back and was off the job for some time. But their doctors decided I was well enough to go back to work, even though I was still hurting. UPS, man they want you to hustle all the time, running, driving, jumping, a very demanding job. But at 45 and hurting, I had to face reality, and reality was that I couldn't go on. I remembered seeing a guy on a TV show once, saying in the States you're invisible to girls when you're over 40, while in Thailand, he was still a hot commodity. So I decided to check it out. It was all true!

The biggest problem I faced was waiting till I got my retirement at 55. But that wasn't really so hard as it's cheap living here.

Joe, 54, and Mai, 37, from Chicago, Illinois

I met my wife on match.com. I had been dating American girls- unsuccessfully, I might add- when I got a note on match from someone in Thailand. I wrote back, "Thanks, but no thanks. Thailand's a bit far." But just for fun I looked over the pictures and bios of her- and then lots of Thai girls. "Holy moley," I said to myself. "These girls are gorgeous!" And I started writing some. They were really pleasant, far more pleasant than Chicago girls. One I wrote to turned out to be Mai, now my wife. I didn't know it, but my letters were read- not by Mai- but by her friend who translated them. So soon, I was writing love letters to Mai's translator! We've been married 9 very happy years. Meeting and marrying Mai changed my life, and I couldn't be happier.

(Joe's wife Mai, who's pregnant with their child and lives with him in Chicago, tells their story from her point of view):

Thai men, many are no good. Selfish, have mistress, no job, pushy. I don't want to marry Thai man. I want to marry Amelican. I go to match.com and look for man. I see Joe there. I have teacher I pay translate English. I cannot speak or write English 9 year ago. Teacher write Joe, write many man. Joe write back, and teacher translate to Thai for me. Then I tell teacher what to write back. Teacher say Joe not rich but he velly good man.

Joe don't know about teacher, but he like me and I like him. Teacher live outside Udon and sometime he lazy to tell me what Joe say, so he write Joe himself. So Joe send me picture, and teacher write back, "You velly handsome man." Funny!

After 5 month, Joe come to Thailand, want to meet me. He meet me- and teacher. Very funny- He talking sweet mouth to me, but talk to translator. After one week, he say to translator, "Tell her I want marry her." I CANNOT BELIEVE! Must be mistake! But not mistake. I know I love him and so I say yes. Three month later, he come back, we marry. Big ceremony, party, everybody come.

Today, nine years later, we live Chicago. I'm work accountant for government. Chicago weather not like Thailand, but I learn to love cold weather. I learn to love Catholic religion, I'm Catholic. And now we will have baby! I'm happy and Joe happy man. Is a good love story, yes?

Ryan, 70, from Chicago, Illinois

I was a street performer in South America for 15 years. Juggling mostly. I got bored with that and became a magician. But South America changed over the years- and not for the better- mostly due to drugs. It wasn't as friendly. It wasn't as much fun. And it sometimes it was downright dangerous! Also I was getting older and it wasn't as much fun as it had been for me to travel around, stay in cheap hotels, perform for strangers...

I was visiting friends and family in Chicago and we got to talking about this and everyone agreed that, yeah, it was fun, but now I'm in my 40s and it doesn't feel so right anymore. I decided I had to find some place where I could settle down and live a comfortable life. One day, I was visiting my favorite Thai restaurant, and I asked the owner, who is a friend of mine, where I should move. "How 'bout Thailand!?" she said. "You like the food. You can live in good style for not much money. Thais are friendly. The girls are beautiful. One thing's for sure, you won't be lonely!"

I went to check things out in Thailand, and I found I really did like the place! It was fun, just like South America used to be. It was cheap- I could rent a nice place for- well, almost nothing! And the girls were friendly and beautiful.

I tried doing my act in the park. The Thais liked it, but they have no real tradition of tipping. If you get 50 cents from someone, you're very lucky. So my act wasn't really supporting me, and I needed to make money if I was going to stay and make Thailand my home.

I was visiting a friend in Khon Kaen, a mid-sized city in the middle of Thailand. My friend's girlfriend works at a huge factory making fishing nets. Khon Kaen isn't on the water or even near it, so this doesn't make any sense, but that's Thailand! Or more likely they're there because labor is cheap in that area- for 3 or 4 dollars a day, you can get someone to work hard for you the whole day.

So the girlfriend tells my friend there's been a disaster at the factory. Someone who takes orders took a huge order for "Grey" nets- only they just wrote down "GRE", and they made them green! Now the customer has refused to accept the green nets as nobody in his country fishes with green nets, and the boss is really upset. He says he wants to hire a falang to take orders. "I'm a falang!" I said. Pretty much, being a falang was my only qualification, I had been doing juggling and magic for so many years. Well to make a long story short, I got the job. And for 10 times more than a Thai worker gets! And I stayed there 5 years, taking orders, helping in the factory, writing and speaking with customers.

After a while, the boss started sending me on sales trips abroad too. And that got lonely and difficult for me. I'd be in Taiwan or someplace, and I'd be drawing the same salary I got in Khon Kaen. But for that salary, I was away from my friends and family the whole day, not just 8 hours. So I asked the boss if he'd be willing to give me a commission in addition to my salary. That way, I told him, I'd be motivated to drum up new business in my spare time, not just call on our regular accounts.

Thailand has no tradition of giving commissions, and my boss wasn't exactly an innovative thinker. He pointed out to me that I was making many times what his Thai workers were getting, and he thought I should be happy with that. And that, as they say, was that, at least as far as he was concerned. But not for me.

While working at the factory, I had met a beautiful- oh, she was so beautiful she could take your breath away! Her name was Pat, and she came from a small village and was working part time at the factory and part time as a waitress at a bar. She also slept in a corner of the bar on a heap of clothes, like she was the family dog.

One day, I came to the bar, and got to talking with her. And I said, "I'd like to take you out." "Lie on date?" she asked. "Yeah, we'll go out to dinner, maybe go for a walk or to a movie." She looked down. "Oh, cannot." She explained to me that I would have to get permission from her parents to take her out as she was a good girl.

Next thing you know, we're riding on my big chopper to visit her parents. Now, I'm 30 years older than Pat- and two years older than her father! But these Thais respect older people, so it wasn't as awkward as I feared.

Actually, it wasn't awkward at all. We hung around the village for a couple of days, visiting relatives, going on walks, taking the chopper out, our every move observed by the villagers. And then her dad says to me, "You wan marry my daughter?" I told him if things went well, yes. And that was that. She moved in with me the next day! And we got married - a Thai wedding - soon after that. It was a happy time for sure. We had a daughter and this kept Pat busy. And then we decided to leave the factory, since they wouldn't give me any commissions.

Pat seemed to change after I took her back to America. You know, if you marry a much younger girl in Thailand, and you keep her in Thailand, everyone's telling her how lucky she is. But in America, some people are telling her a beautiful girl like you should find someone richer, and maybe younger.

Also, in America, she started to become like American girls. She stopped giving me back rubs and serving me all the time- actually told me to go get my own food! Then I found out she was having an affair. Now that just about killed me. I decided we'd go back to Thailand right away.

Pat's parents were near Khon Kaen, so we decided to settle there. I went into the fishing brokering business- I'm a middle-man for large companies who want to buy large amounts of fishing equipment wholesale. I've been doing this for 10 years, and it's been okay, though slow lately.

Pat never changed back. In fact, she got more Western as time went on, and finally she left me and our daughter. So now I'm here, a single guy again in this crazy wonderful country, raising our daughter and making a life. I ride my bike at 6 every morning downtown to play tennis. You'd think at that hour, there wouldn't be anyone, but actually some of the most powerful people in town come there to play, and we've become friends over the years. Then I go for a walk around the lake. And finally, I bike home and start my day around 10 am. It's a great life, and I enjoy it.

Sanders, 59, from Syracuse, New York

Years ago I was in & out of Bangkok a lot on my way to somewhere. I used to drink beer in a long destroyed little beer bar area. The bar was called SPORTS BAR. The owner actually played tennis & always had it on TV. The toilet was at the end of the strip of beer bars.

As I paid, there was this absolutely stunning woman talking with the attendant. She was just beaming, maybe in her late 30's. I couldn't resist & she said why not come see her bar. I was traveling often then & we became quite friendly. She would let me sit at the end of the L-shaped bar as she worked her customers. She was great...every guy thought HE was the one but of course, she had to "take care of other customers." Being an entertainer myself, I loved watching her work her own brand of magic.

Eventually she told me she really was the perfect woman: an orphan, never married, no family or kids, I thought to myself, YES! But then I had the chance to think about it... working in bars for the last 15+ years probably disqualified her from being a perfect 10. I came in one night & she wasn't there. I asked where she was. "Gone home to see her mother. Be back next week." I never saw her again.

Norm, 66, from a small town outside Montgomery, Alabama

I'm from a little town in Alabama and I moved to a little town in Thailand. I guess I just like little towns, where you know everybody and everybody knows you. In my case, I'm not far from Korat, so I can always drive to town if I want to meet a friend or go to the mall. One thing I like is I have no money problems here- I'm rich on my Social Security! My house rents for just $161 a month- not bad for 3 bedrooms, 2 baths! I'll go grocery shopping for maybe $20, and it'll last me a few days. My wife's a teacher, so we've actually got more money coming in than going out! We met at the market. She smiled and I said hi!

Jacques, 63, from Toulouse, France

I met my wonderful wife at a restaurant in Bangkok. She was my waitress, and oh la la, was she beautiful! So I ask her out, but she wants me to come to her house instead- and she cooks for me! Oh, she is a wonderful cook, I love her already! And she was so very nice and pleasant...

Next thing you know, I am back in France, and I am thinking about her. I am miserable without her! We talk on Skype, but is not the same. So I come back to Bangkok, but just for the weekend. I have a job and I can only come for 2 days. But what a weekend! We talk and we talk and we walk and we walk and we eat and we eat and...next thing you know, I decide I have something quite wonderful here!

So I arrange to have her come to France, first to visit and then to make a life. I had 5 more years to work, so I could not just come to Thailand to live. The first 3 years, she went to school, and then 2 more years she worked. Now I am retired and we live in her town.

Five years ago, we bought land for to build a house. About 3 rai on the river, with a beautiful view of the lake. It cost about $66,000. That was one thing I wanted, where I lived it had to be beautiful, and it is! Also, it is near enough to her family, but not so near. That is good, as we have privacy.

And then when I retired, we moved here and started to build our house. We brought land to the house, 850 truckloads of land. But that was not enough, so we had 1000, to make the land up in the air. And then we built our house. It's 4 bedrooms and very big... 350 square meters. Cost us about $97,000. So altogether, maybe $160,000, but the house! Oh, you could not have a house such as this in France. In France, I lived in an apartment. And if you want to have such a house on the French Riviera, oh la la, at least 2 million- euro, not baht!

In daily life, we go to visit my wife's family often. I am lucky, everybody have a job. In Thailand, if they have no money, you have to help. But I have not this problem, nobody here needs my money. We have no market so we have to drive 40 kilometers to the market. But soon, we will have a proper supermarket and that will be good. I also have some friends, which makes life nice. And I like to go walking and sailing on the lake.

My expenses in France were quite high. Europe is expensive. But here, nothing...Food costs little, restaurants not much. The most expensive thing you can spend money on is wine. I love white wine from Chile. And wine from Australia. (He points to a shopping cart with lots of bottles.) So this one is $7, but that one is $16 and this one is $13. Well, I enjoy my wine. What can I say, I am French!

George, 63, from Houston, Texas

I had wanted to go to Thailand since 1967. It was the Vietnam War days and I was suppose to go there for R&R. Boy was I excited! But at the last minute they told me there was no more room on that plane, and I was sent to Hong Kong instead.

Fast forward to 2007: A buddy at the police department where I was working tells me about his trips to Thailand- and my mouth is just open hearing about the girls, the beaches- and how cheap everything is. "Next time you go, count me in!" I tell him.

So he does, and I'm just astonished and go wild with the bar girls and having fun- I'm a "One Week Millionaire!" My room is like $7, dinner is 4, the girl is...well, not much. Then I met Ma, who became my wife. She was tending bar on Soi Cowboy, and what a looker she was! And she made me feel like I was the handsomest man in Bangkok. Course I knew that wasn't true, so we went back and forth on that, and that became part of our fun. I may not have been the best looking, but she certainly was.

Well, to make a long story short, we go back to her home in Nong Khai to meet her parents. Nothing. They don't smile. They don't wai (bow). They don't anything! They ask her, "Why you bring this ugly old falang here?"

So we go to grandpa- old people in Thai culture hold a lot of power. Grandpa looks at me, looks deeply into my eyes. And he says to Ma, "I see a warrior." Which is true, I was a Marine, and then a policeman. And grandpa announces I'm okay and the family should accept and respect me. Which they do- sort of.

When we announce we plan to marry, Ma's ma- get it?- Ma's ma. Anyway, she says she wants a 200,000 baht dowry. I say no dowry. Hell, she had been married before and had 2 kids- and that means no dowry. The family had been in trouble, owed a bunch of money, and I paid it off, so that counted as the dowry, and that was that.

Still, in coming years, Ma's ma would always be after her to get money out of me. A number of times, I told her to get out of the house, go home, she was making Ma upset.

But she had a method to her madness, and one time she actually got Ma to steal from me. Actually, what she did was go to an ATM on an account I had 45,000 baht ($1,500) in, take it, and give it to her. I didn't know about it until one day I was just looking thru a bunch of papers and saw I had nothing in the bank! Well, that caused one hell of a blowup, with me cursing and screaming. She never did that again, but then I've never given her the chance.

And then another time, she and I had a fight and I went to visit a buddy in Pattaya. And she gave away all our furniture to her parents! I came back, had to buy all new furniture!

Hell, even now, I don't like to visit her parents. When her dad asks me to have a seat, hell, it's my seat he's asking me to sit on!

She's not as nice as she used to be, but I guess that's just the way it goes.

The house we moved into was one of the first in the development. I didn't notice it, but there were two little yappy dogs living behind my house. And even before we had unpacked, Ma calls me up and tells me to come home. Turns out the dogs had snuck in thru the back door, pushed the door open, and had crapped on our floor! Well, I got a broom and chased them all around the neighborhood. So all the neighbors say, "Falang want to kill dog"- and it's true!

Those dogs seem to bark at everything, and it's not been great to tell you the truth. But now lots of other dogs have moved in. If I didn't already own the house, I'd leave. Rent an apartment. That way, if it gets too bad, you can pack up.

Thomas, 54, from Amsterdam, Holland

I met my wife in Udon Thani in... I am not ashamed to say, a bar. It was just before I was to leave to go back to Holland. And since it was the most important event of my life, it was bad timing. So I am back in Holland, and I miss her. And so I decide to come back and see if what I saw in her was real or not. And it was! We marry five years ago. We have a 19 year old girl- hers. And together we have a 4 year old. All the time, my wife goes to her mother's, and takes our son, while I come to Centerpointe to have chicken and talk with the cook Hassa. My wife and I, we are not especially close, but close as I want to be.

Our boy, he is growing up a little Thai boy, not Dutch. And I teach him English, while my wife teaches him Thai. English, you can talk to people everywhere in the world. Dutch, you can go to Holland, and Surinam in South America, and in South Africa they speak Dutch like they spoke 400 year ago. We live here now. I don't plan to go back except to visit. We are mostly pretty happy. We live in a village in the country near Nong Khai. It is quiet, just like I want it. My life is good.

Sam, 62, from Jacksonville, Florida

I'm a retired economist from Jacksonville, Florida. My best friend was engaged to marry this wonderful woman he'd met on the Internet. And he told me, "Hey, I'm going to Thailand in November to marry this girl. Wanna come?" Heck, I'd been wanting to come to Thailand my whole life! So I told him, "I got the money. I got the time. I'm in!"

At his wedding, I met my wife, Pym, who is the cousin of the bride. I liked her right away. She spoke pretty good English, she was pleasant, and she made an effort to please me, which was the opposite of what I was used to in Florida.

Nowadays, we live in her home, which is in a planned community not far from here. She's a teacher and she got me into teaching- I work Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at a local school. I don't make much money, my wife makes far more. So some people might say the falang is taking advantage of the Thai!

A year or so ago, an Army jeep pulled up to our house. A soldier got out and asked for me by name. And I'm thinking, "Holy cow, I am in a heap of trouble!" Turned out this group of Thai Army soldiers was going to Sudan, and they wanted me to teach them a little English to get them ready. I asked "When do you want to start?" And they said "Next Tuesday." So we did. I taught them a few phrases they were likely to need. And went over with them what they should do if people don't- for example- stop when they say "Stop."

Right now, I'm building my house. Pym loves her present house, and she built it herself, so she doesn't want to just tear it down. But we want something much bigger. So we are building onto what we've got, making it much larger. We've torn off the roof, and we'll be having cathedral ceilings. I've planted mangoes and herbs. My wife's a teacher so she's plenty busy, doesn't have time to water the plants. So I installed a central sprinkler system, all she does is turn this knob. And I built this carport. They said you need support on both sides, but this one works with just support on one side. They keep expecting it to fall down, but it doesn't.

People here, well it hasn't been that easy for me to make friends. I had a friend, who was my best friend. We'd go golfing, pal around. One day he gave me some videos of him golfing. And in those videos, right in the middle of them, were videos of him having sex with his girlfriend. So I had to write and tell him that was too weird for me and please don't call or write me again.

These Thai people don't think of the future. It's just what's happening NOW. So they double park, and don't think about how they'll tie up traffic. Or they'll gamble away their money, because it's all about now. Or they'll take big chances in traffic, never thinking they'll pay some price in the future.

My wife is just like everyone here when it comes to having opinions. They don't seem to have them much. If I ask, "Do you want to go shopping or go for a walk?" she'll say, "Whatever you want"- and truly won't care which we do. This I think comes from her Buddhist thinking where she's happy and sees the good in everything. This is fine with me, as I get to do what I want every day! I used to ask what do you want, but now I just say, "Let's go bike riding!"- and that's that. This is exactly the opposite of what I had in Florida, where women would disagree just to give me a hard time, where they'd fight about everything.

As far as America goes, it's really changed- and not for the better. I've never seen this level of conflict, people just tearing each other apart. Things are getting worse and worse. I really worry there's a depression coming. If there is one, this will be a good area to live in- agricultural. We're the richest people here, so if anybody's eating, we'll be eating.

Reiner, 67, from Dusseldorf, Germany

I was at home in Dusseldorf, and needing a Thai massage, so I went to the massage place, and there was Noi. She was so nice to me, but a little shy, not at all like German girls. I hadn't had good luck with German girls- I'm divorced. They are- well let's just say they are followers of American girls- being very difficult to get along with. So far we are together 1 1/2 years.

Noi lives in Surin, which is a small town. I like living in Europe at least some of the time, so we live half time in Germany and half time in Surin. In Germany it's hard to afford anything, but in Surin... I am a rich man!

Werner, 68, from Kapel, Holland

My wife and I live in Khon Kaen, but I'm from Germany, lived in Holland for 20 years. When it came time to retire, I found it hard to live, I had no savings to live on, and Holland is expensive. On Thai Cupid, I meet Toy in Khon Kaen, and we really connect. She had lived in Holland in the past, so she knew Dutch, and she was sweet, and smart and, well, everything I wanted in a partner.

So I came to Khon Kaen to see what is this, and it was all very nice. She has a little house, it's not so big, but big enough for two, and comfortable. Costs us $60 a month to pay the mortgage- almost nothing. In Amsterdam, even the worst apartment in the worst neighborhood would be many times that. Here I can be...what's the word? at ease. I don't have any pressure for money, for anything. Toy still works, and she pays everything, but really nothing costs much. This dinner costs $2 and we'll ride the free train home.

Khon Kaen is growing, and that's the only thing that worries me. In the future, it may get so busy we may not want to live here, we'd have to find another place. But for now, it's just about perfect!

Rick, 72, from South Detroit, Michigan

I was an auto worker for 27 years. When my wife left me, I was alone in a miserable neighborhood of South Detroit. Dating was pretty much a nightmare, I had been married so long, I really couldn't relate to any of the women I was dating. And women my age seemed so old! Sorry to say that...I know that's unfair to say, but that's how I felt. And they were all so difficult, demanding, critical.

So I joined a dance class to meet some people, and that didn't go well either. I'm short, and nobody wanted to dance with me. And I'm older, probably the age of their fathers. I remember when one of the young women had a turn to dance with me, I saw her stick her finger in her mouth, like she wanted to vomit.

I told this to my friend Mack, and he took me to a bar in Pontiac where he likes to go. But that was even crazier, it was full of college kids! And the guys made fun of us two geezers coming in and sitting down with them, looking at their girls. That was really horrible for me.

So I moved to Thailand. I had been here on trips before and I liked it. Man, it was just night and day! In Thailand, I was hot stuff! Girls would smile at me, shake their stuff for me, try to please me. In Michigan, nothin'. But here, everything!

Started hanging out with a group of Vietnamese who had settled here. They liked me and I liked them. And before long, one of the introduced me to Fon, who came here as a little girl. We really hit it off. We have been married, what, 6 or 7 years now and I've never been happier.

Now I don't play around. That's the thing that ruins most of these falang/Thai marriages. These girls are super-jealous, and if you do, they'll cut off your you-know-what! Fon is very gentle and considerate. She keeps the house in perfect shape, cooks for me, irons, drives me where I want to go, everything. Really I couldn't ask for more. She's like, brought me back to life!

Only negative I can think is she's not interested in art or going to museums. I took her to Hokkaido, which is an island north of Tokyo, and she didn't really like to walk or do anything. But when we're home, she talks about how she'd like us to travel. We've talked about going to Europe, but all you do there is go to museums and see art. I haven't taken her, since I can't see what we'd do, since she doesn't want to see that. But listen, that's a small, small thing amid all the wonderful things about this sweet, loving woman I married.

Hans, 74, from Bonn, Germany

Mot had tickets to go on a Bangkok river cruise, but her friend didn't come, so she was alone. I was a traveller in Thailand, and lucky enough to be on that boat. I asked Mot, "Do you mind if I sit here?" And she welcomed me. We saw the beautiful wats, the golden Royal Palace, as we sailed past, that golden bridge. There was a live band on board, and we danced as we sailed past these golden monuments. How could we not fall in love?

We've been married almost 9 years, and it's been wonderful. I'm just now leaving Germany permanently. We won't be coming back to Europe. Life there is too crowded, too expensive, too cold. I used to like it, but now I'm older and I prefer a quiet life in Issan. We have a very large beautiful home and some rice paddies. Mot doesn't know much about finance, she's a farmer, so I buy her rice paddies, which she will be able to manage when I'm gone.

Wayne, 64, from Ann Arbor, Michigan

I've had two Thai wives so I'm a world expert on the subject! (smiles) The first one I met at a bar near my Air Force base in upstate New York. All the single guys tried to get assigned to Korea or Thailand, where I'm sure they had many wild times. But I reckon I didn't try hard enough cause I got assigned to a base where family men were assigned, only I didn't have a family. It was there that I met my first wife, 28 years ago, in a bar. We had a passionate romance. She was on a tourist visa that was about to expire, and I had the choice of driving her to the airport, or to the preacher- there was a definite fork in the road. And I chose the preacher.

We had a good marriage that lasted 28 years. She was a wonderful wife, and is still a wonderful friend. But after about 20 years, we just sort of grew apart. Happens all the time, I hear. We moved back to Issan, Thailand, near where her family lives. We were hoping that would bring us together, but it really didn't work. I didn't like staying home, I'd rather go out to some bar and talk with other falangs rather than stay home with her. So after a while, we decided to split. She gets half my Air Force pension, which is plenty enough to live on here. And I get half.

I have three places I like to hang out, and 3 girls I got to know from those places. One was a bar girl who I thought cared for me and me alone. But one day when I came to the bar after a trip, she wasn't there. They told me her French boyfriend was in town and she was over at the hotel with him. So that was the end of that.

The second place I like to hang out is a Mexican restaurant, and the girl, whose name is Moo, was my waitress. When I came by her place, Moo was excited to see me and gave me a big hug and kiss. I'm not the kind of guy who ever got lots of attention from girls, so this made quite an impression on me. Wasn't long before we were livin' together. Plus we had her two young daughters, who are real girl-girls, kinda like Honey Boo, into makeup and all. And we were- and are- very, very happy.

I told Moo we could get a house when I had saved $3,300 from my Air Force pension. One day, she's all smiles and hoppin' around and all, and tells me we've got the money! So we start making plans with her brother, who luckily is an unemployed builder. Moo has a lot out in the rice paddies, 90 by 90, and we decided to build a house 84 by 84 on it- that doesn't leave a lot of extra room. It'll be on stilts 12 foot high. The house itself will be one floor, as I remember all the trouble my momma had having the washer and dryer in the basement. I don't want to have no trouble going up and down stairs like that when I get old.

The whole kit and caboodle should cost me around 300,000 baht ($10,000). Now, it's gonna be made of cement, so it won't be fancy or nothin'. And the kids' room will be tiny, just big enough to sleep. But it'll be fine. One thing I always heard at the bars is, don't bring money to Thailand that you can't afford to lose, and so I don't reckon I'm risking a whole lot.

Right now we're staying in a guest house on the rice paddies, and it's getting old. I recon we'll build our house little by little, as I get my retirement money. Moo's getting good with money. The other day, I gave her some money and told her to pay her brother, since the job is movin' along. And she says no, if I give it to him, he'll just spend it getting drunk and carousing. So she's keeping it for him and she'll give it all to him when he finishes the job.

Moo has a mother who lives- well, she lives in a junky little shack in front of where our house will be. So I promised to add a little house for her. It'll probably cost me $2000 and won't be much. But her mother's excited, and so's Moo! All in all this is pretty much the happiest time of my life. It's just like my life is starting all over again!

Dick, 65, from Las Vegas, Nevada

I was living in Las Vegas and it was getting worse and worse. Obama saved the banks, but people all around me were just getting crushed! All my neighbors got foreclosed on and kicked out. My house was so beautiful... It had 4 bedrooms, 3 baths, a swimming pool. At the top, it was worth maybe 300,000. At the short sale it went for 105. I had retired from the military, and they didn't want me back again. No house, no job, no future. I came to Thailand.

My wife was my waitress in a Bangkok restaurant. I was her customer. We've been married 10 years and have a beautiful new home in the countryside, 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms- $66,000. I like to go biking- I have 3 bikes. I ride everywhere, even here in Bangkok. I've ridden from Kao San Road in Bangkok to Don Muang Airport. I never get in an accident, just go with the flow and you'll be okay.

They say you should marry your best friend, and my wife truly is that. Girls in Las Vegas... they're just after money. "No money, no honey," they say. Pretty girls come from all over to live and work in Vegas. They're nice to look at, but they've got no character. They're just trying to be beautiful and find a rich husband. Ying, she's not like that at all. Even though we have enough from Social Security, she still works, knitting purses and other things to sell. She doesn't have to, she wants to. And she's 100 times as kind and sweet and loving as those Vegas girls. This is a whole different life here...

Frank, 62, from Leiden, The Netherlands

My wife was a teacher here in Bangkok. Her English is pretty good, so it was easy to meet her on Internet. I'm Dutch, and I never expect to meet anyone fine like her, here- or anywhere. So I was kind of "blown away," as you Americans would say. My only problem is we have two children, plus my wife has a child from before we met. And the Dutch government, they give you money for children if you live in Holland, or you live in France or UK or even America. But if you live in Thailand, they don't give you anything, because they say, "Oh, it's so cheap for you to live here, you don't need help." It is cheap, but I think that's not fair.

Marcus, 45, from Berlin, Germany

I wanted to live in Thailand since I first visit here 25 years ago. It was so... exotic, so wonderful. I think for Germans, it starts with the warm. Germany is cold 10 months a year. There's just 2 months of summer. Here it's warm all year. And it's so friendly, people in Germany don't smile much and never to strangers.

I met my wife in Germany. She was visit her sister. And we met and we liked each other. She lives in a village outside Chiang Rai, so we live there. We have a farm small and we grow rubber tree. I'm a farmer, but not really. Just when I want to be. We have 3 workers who do everything. So sometimes I drive tractor, but don't really have to.

Our village has no Internet. No TV. But I don't miss it, I'm too busy. But we decide to move to a nearby city that have all that. And some falang for me to maybe be friends. We are building a big 2 story home- $60,000.

When I moved, I had a container shipped here- cost me about $1500. So all my junk from Germany is now here making a mess. In some ways I wish I had just bought new things here.

I only been here 6 months but I love it. It's just like a dream every day. And my wife is wonderful!

They say rubber trees is big money. Ours is 7 years old, so they just start to give rubber. So far, we just make $130!

Mike, 52, from Chicago, Illinois

To me, America is like white bread, not so interesting. I always wanted to live abroad. And so I'd take vacations to see places that maybe I'd want to live. One year Costa Rica. Another year Uruguay. And then Thailand... Bingo! For me, that was it. I LOVED Thailand!

I knew I wanted to teach there, so I took a course in teaching ESL (English as a Second Language). I ended up in Ubon Ratchathani, like everyone else, because of a girl. I met Soon in Pattaya, where she was about to become a bar girl. And I told her, "The heck with that bullshit. Come with me! Let's try to work out a life together!" And so we came back to her hometown of Ubon.

It was the worst possible time to come, September. All the teaching jobs were taken. But I heard there were still jobs in Hanoi, Vietnam. So we went there and I got a job at a private school- $24 an hour! That was good, but it was freezing! Forty degrees at night, and no heater! Finally, I bought a heater and put it on the next bed facing me, but it was so small it didn't help much. And I lived like that from October till March, when it got warmer.

Here in Ubon, my girlfriend at first got a job working in an office 55 hours a week for $220 a month. I got her a job teaching Thai to foreigners for $380- and she only works 20 hours or so a week!

We're pretty happy. We live in a 3 bedroom home in a lovely community. Rent is just $300 a month. There's just one thing: I don't like the way she raises her child. He's 4 and she babies him like you just can't believe! Puts his clothes on for him. Even brushes his teeth! I don't approve of that. He should learn to do things for himself. But I recognize that's the culture. Anyone else I meet will probably be the same story. And yeah, it's a good life for me, being with her and her child.

I got a job teaching English, and I love it, but I work too long hours. Oh, I put in maybe 40 hours a week when you count preparation time. I only get $1,120 a month, not so much. I like it here though. I skipped Phuket, which is more beautiful. Just wanted to live a more normal life, without a lot of tourists.

Dick, 62, from Sydney, Australia

I was 50 and tense and nervous and under lots of pressure on my job in import/ export. I was good at my job, but really unhappy. So many of my colleagues had died. They'd get to 60 or 65, with money in the bank, and then they'd die- and what good did their money do them? And I started to think about them a lot, and wonder if the same would happen to me. I decided to retire and begin a new life while I was still young enough to do that, before I became too old.

I had been to Thailand before and loved it and I decided I wanted to move here. Just like that.

I told my boss, and he acted like it was a joke!

"Look," he said, "You want more money?"

"No."

"You want to be a partner in the business?"

"No."

He just couldn't believe I said no and really wanted to move to Thailand. I told him, "I'll give you three months' notice so I can train someone to replace me and then I'm leaving." Now I had worked for him for 35 years. But just like that, he changed and turned cold. Told me I could leave next week! It was quite a shocker...

I arrived in Pattaya and met a bar girl and we liked each other. I asked her where she was from. "Chiang Mai." So we came here to live and I liked it. We were together 7 years. But I never really felt loved. It was more like we just had a comfortable deal going. She was gone a lot, trying to get a long-term visa to Norway, and I was alone a lot. I had bought us a house and car, both in her name.

And one day, I left her, the house, and car and left.

Oy and I had been friends for 3 years. She had the usual story: She'd married young to a Thai and had 2 kids, but he cheated on her and drank and all that. She left him and devoted herself to raising her kids and decided she'd had enough of men.

So one day, when I asked her for a date, she said, "Now why you want that?" But finally she went and we already knew and liked each other, and love gradually grew. Three years later, we got married. I'm 62, she's 50, and I've never been so happy.

George, 47, from London, England

I'm a retired British Army officer. I served 23 years, and now I'm eligible for a pension. I met my wife in Pattaya and we moved back to Chiang Mai one year ago. For $60,000 we bought a bungalow in a nice development and I like it quite a lot. I don't much like Thai food- sorry to say- so I cook English food. You can get anything you want in Chiang Mai, and I shop at Rimping, a grocer that has all the English food I'm used to back home.

I like Chiang Mai much better than Pattaya. It's safer, there's a better class of people here. And it's less expensive. In Pattaya, guys were always after me to go out to bars. Here, it's more home and family.

As a special project, I'm studying Thai. Not just speaking Thai, but also writing and reading Thai! My wife thinks it's funny, because I'm making a lot of mistakes. But I think it helps me because I can understand her better, speak to our relatives, be part of the community.

Greg, 48, from London, England

I'm also a retired British Army officer. I love Chiang Mai, and Thai culture, and I especially love Thai boxing, which helps keep me fit.

This is going to sound strange, but I also really like Philippine girls. For me, they're the best, cutest, nicest, sexiest in the world! So I decided to combine the two, and fly my Philippine girlfriend to Thailand and live with her. Like having the best of both worlds! Everybody said I was mad. She'll be a fish out of water, they said. She'll miss her family, her culture. But now a year later, she's doing well. She's got a work permit and has a job teaching English. She talks to her mother at night on Skype. She's happy. We have friends...

Ray, 51, from San Jose, California

At first, I found it fantastic. I'd go to red light areas. I'd have girls- beautiful girls!- for as little as $7! One time, just for the heck of it, I had 2 girls at once! Or I'd go to bars and chat with the bar girls- and spend the night with the prettiest one. These were not hard, drugged out, addicted girls- these girls were soft and lovely and smiling and beautiful.

I felt powerful, like a king! It was intoxicating! What a high! At first I'd just go at night, but then I started going afternoons too. Nothing else I could do would be half as incredible! My life revolved around going.

The whole thing still amazes me, and continues to amaze me, because I'd never been with such beautiful girls like that in my life! And the things we did...

But after a while the whole thing started leaving me depressed. It was all about money, and no matter how nice they were about it- and most were plenty nice- what it came down to I was a customer paying for sex.

It wasn't easy for me, but I stopped going and started meeting girls on dating websites. Man, it was a lot more work than going to red light areas or bars, and the girls weren't- well, it wasn't a fantasy. I was out of my comfort zone. The girls I chose at first were beautiful, but uneducated and unemployed. Waiting for some falang to make their dreams come true. Their friends had married falangs, lived in nice homes, and seemed happy- and they wanted the same. But they had no other ambition, and they weren't that interesting.

In the end, I came to feel like I was just paying for it all over again, although just in a different way. It was all one way, with me contributing everything.

For the past few months, I've been dating a shopkeeper I met on the Internet, and it feels so much better. The smile she gives me when she sees me is because she likes me, not because she sees money coming her way. In fact, she's got her own money- more than I have! She sees me because she wants to, and that makes all the difference.

I'm not criticizing guys who go with street girls or bar girls, as I did that too. But when you have a regular girl who's there because she loves you, it just makes a world of difference!

Steven, 55, from San Gabriel, California

I wasn't even looking for a Thai wife when I went to Thai Cupid. I was going to visit Thailand and wanted to trade English lessons for Thai lessons, so I would be able to talk a little.

Right away, I started getting lots of messages. And lots of invites to chat. I don't like to chat, but with so many pretty girls contacting me, I started lining up dates to get together when I made the trip. And it wasn't long before I met the girl who became my wife.

My Thai? Well, it never did get all that good. Seems it's a lot harder than Spanish to get down right. But I've got a wonderful wife who's straight out of a dream, and we've been married for 3 years now.

Mark, 66, from Orange, New Jersey

I moved to Thailand out of desperation. I was desperate for love, and was never gonna find it in New Jersey. I tried meeting women in supermarkets and on the Internet, but I just couldn't relate to any of them. They were different from how they were when I was young, in a different world. I became a video junkie as I had nothing to do in the evenings after work. From A to Z, I watched all sorts of videos. I was becoming a hermit because it really was hopeless.

A friend was taking a trip here and invited me to join. In Bangkok, I met a nice girl, dated her, and married her in a Thai ceremony. The next day, she completely changed- just ignored me, stopped being kind. I thought, well, I'll give her some time and space. But two weeks later, nothing had changed. I got my stuff and left.

My friend, who by now had settled in Nong Khai, introduced me to my present wife. When I met her, a whole new world opened up! It was just night and day from my first wife. She is lovely, loving, and connected. I decided to marry her, but I didn't want just a Buddhist wedding- I wanted to get married legally to this woman, and to stay married forever.

It was a holiday when I asked her, and she said, "Yes!" I wanted to get married right away, that day! But it was a legal holiday and the only place we could get legally married was Bangkok. So we drove to the airport and flew to Bangkok, and we were the first in line!

We just had a baby 3 months ago. All in all I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Jess, 61, from Auckland, New Zealand

Women in New Zealand have changed. They have a long list of things they want, and no one is going to fulfill that list. Among the many things they want you to be is the same age as them. My first wife was 10 months younger than I. My girlfriend was 5 months older. That's about the limit. Here in Thailand, women don't care what age you are. It's just not on their list- or rather they don't seem to have a list!

Also, women in New Zealand don't bother being pleasant. But here, it's like an art form. My girlfriend here is nothing but pleasant.

Elias, 59, from Stockholm, Sweden

When I got to Thailand, it was hot and I needed a haircut to stay cool. So I went to a barber shop, and there was Nim, my barber. She looked like an angel, and fun- a fun angel! And I thought, "Okay, I'm gonna try this one last time." So after the haircut, I say to her, "Are you hungry?" She says yes, and off we go.

Now it's already 8 years later. We have some problems because, when we started, we didn't have a common language beyond a few words. But I studied Thai and she studied English, and we tried to meet in the middle, and we did. She been to Sweden and took a six month course in Swedish so that helped.

She's really a pretty great wife. She irons my underwear and lays it out for me each morning. If I ask my first wife in Sweden, she will point to a pile of clothes and say, "Go get it yourself."

Back in Sweden, if I will look at a woman, she might say, "What are you looking at, old man?" But here, she will smile and be happy you noticed her. And if she's not taken, probably she will be happy if you ask her out.

The only thing I don't like is she doesn't have much opinion. If I ask her, "You want to go to this restaurant or that one?" she is happy with either.

So, after 8 years, I don't bother asking. I just say, "Tonight, we go to Baan Thai," and she's happy as can be!

Sam, 52, from Toronto, Canada

This isn't a story about me. It's a story about big businessman I know who went out to a bar with friends. And he was carrying a suitcase with $5000 cash in it. And, as sometimes will happen, he met a bar girl and took her home. He woke up with a big hangover. Oh, his head was aching! And he left to join his colleagues. When he found them, he realized he had left his briefcase at the bar. They all thought it was lost for good, and certainly the money would be gone. He went back to the bar and saw the bar girl. "Do you happen to know where my briefcase is?" he asked.

She went to the back, got it, and placed it on the bar. He opened it, hardly breathing. The money... it was all there! He tried to give her a reward, but she refused. "It was your money," she said. "No need to thank me."

He left, but he could not get her out of his mind.

Finally, he came back to the bar to tell her he wanted a date- not as a bar girl with a customer, but a real date. She accepted.

Today, they are married some years, have two children, and are very happy.

Bjorn, 62, from Gothenburg, Sweden

I was home in Sweden when I met my wife on Internet. So I came to see her in Chiang Rai and hey, we get along pretty good. So I decide I move here. She's a very nice girl, have 3 very nice children. Two now working- I tell them you must work, not rely on me.

We have a good small house we rent. Two bedroom, a living room, 2 bathroom, everything you want. $130. In Sweden it would be at least 8 times more. Since I spend almost nothing on rent, this gives me lots of money to spend on my wife or to save. I don't give her allowance, but I ask her, "You have enough?" She's 42- old enough she doesn't want to out to clubs, she's happy to be home with me and her son.

I had a problem last December with immigration. I'm a little fat and have a white beard- I'm 62. So I dress up like Father Christmas- Santa Claus to you Americans- and go to Immigration Office. I come in the room- and everything stops and everybody smiles and clap. They tell woman they are helping to wait a moment, and in 2 minutes I have my stamp and am okay.

Now they know me and every time they help me quick.

Life in Chiang Rai is good. I have everything I need and a wonderful wife to share it with. There are some Swedish friends I meet for lunch and we talk...

Mark, 61, from Dublin, Ireland

I was a truck driver for 30 years in England. I lived in England because I couldn't find a job at home in Ireland. I had a horrible divorce with lots of tension, lots of anger all around, and I had a heart attack which almost killed me. At that point, I decided "the heck with it, I'm goin' to enjoy myself and what time I have. I'm goin' to the beach!"

So I moved to Patong on the holiday island of Phuket in Thailand. Bought a small bar and had a few girls working for me. One was a gorgeous girl who had 2 children. Met a man straightaway from Finland and left the bar- every bar girl's dream, I'm told.

Most bar girls don't get their dreams to come true. Instead, inside of a month, they change. They may start out sweet village girls, but soon they're all about money, money, money, and how to get it from customers. You see, they teach each other, and they learn. Pretty soon, they're not the same.

I loved being at the bar. Every kind of person would come there and talk with me. But after the tsunami and 9/11, with tourism plunging, I decided I'd had enough and sold the bar.

A friend invited me to Phitsanulok. At first I didn't like it after life in Patong. There weren't many bars or bar girls. No beach. Not as much traffic. But then, it got to me and I started to love the slow pace of life here, the friendliness of the people.

I have a few girlfriends. The main one is a lovely girl with 2 kids. These girls start having sex so young, don't even know what they're doin'. And then they get pregnant, their boyfriends take off, it's an old story. I've told my girlfriend I'll not marry again and if she finds someone to marry I'll wish her well. But she's still here. It's not about money- I don't give her any money- but we love each other.

I live a lot like the Thai people, so I don't spend much. I rent a place near the hospital. I pay $1,100 per year, pretty reasonable. I just leave the place vacant when I'm gone. I don't have air conditioning- it makes my sinuses stuffy. I use 2 fans and that's enough. In Ireland, you'd be lucky to pay that for the month, and it wouldn't be so nice. I don't care about fancy. Utilities are extra, but don't cost much. My only real expense seems to be whisky. It costs $4 a glass- and it's a tiny glass! In a night, I might drink 5 of them, so it adds up. What I save on the apartment, I spend at the bar!

Max, 55, from Kansas City, Missouri

I'm the Asian distributor for an American company. Maybe because I grew up in boring Kansas City, I've always been attracted to foreign, exotic places like Thailand. I met my wife at the beach while she was still in school- I'm 19 years older than her. She wanted to quit but I knew if she did that, her parents would blame ME. So I insisted she graduate.

I always lived beneath my means before I got married. Staying in Cheap Charlie hotels, having a little apartment. That's how I saved money. But when I married Nattaporn- I call her Natty- I've loosened up. We bought a $300,000 house- really a dream home- outside Pattaya. Would be millions in America. And, just for fun, I bought a $100,000 car this year. I can afford it as I've saved so much. Back in the States, it's hard to save anything.

My wife and I moved to Chiang Mai because her parents are here, and we wanted to have a real family. That's mostly been a disappointment. Those people work all the time, they have a hotel in Pattaya. The other day, they came for dinner- and left after a quarter hour- to go back to work! But we have each other and now we have our daughter.

I wake up at around 4:30 every morning. That's early enough to get in touch with the head office in the States. It's nice at that hour and I can really get a lot done. My wife wakes up at 5:30 and maybe we go for a walk or go out to breakfast. Parewa, our daughter, gets up by 6 and my wife takes her to school.

Maybe you've heard, but since I make my money in Thailand, I don't have to pay U.S. taxes on the first $100,000, which means I basically don't have to pay America taxes.

A friend from the City who's got major bucks- I mean really MILLIONS- came to visit me one time. And he was staying at this big hotel in Pattaya and he saw this girl who was a waitress, and he said, "I'm gonna marry that girl." And he did! Changed his entire life, moved to Phuket, bought a house, he's so much more calm and happy now.

Leo, 67, from Cairns, Queensland, Australia

My first wife left me for my best friend. I had come to Bangkok to cruise the bars, go to shows, and have a bit of fun. Then I saw Phi. She had a downtown shop selling clothes and she spoke a bit of English. So I bought some clothes for my son back home and we got to talking and I asked her to lunch. There was nobody to watch her shop, she explained, so she had to say no. But she would be free for dinner!

We met for pizza, and afterwards went walking through a night market. There was lots to see and talk about there, and I found I was really enjoying myself! Much better than seeing ladyboys parade around in dresses! We met every day after that, and soon it was time for me to go, only I didn't want to go. I wrote her and she wrote me every day. My town looked totally empty without Phi. It was the same town, but my feelings had changed. In two months, I came back and married her, just a small civil ceremony.

It's now 7 years later and Phi has become an Australian citizen. I'm happier than ever. For a while, she worked as a cook, but she hurt her back. She went for 500 hours of English instruction. My daughter died recently, and I was happy to see all my other children gathered around Phi, including her in their circle.

I've never been happier. It's indescribable, the difference between Phi and my first wife, like black and white!

Richard, 56, from Nashville, Tennessee

I was working in Nashville, writing music for a company. I got to be friendly with my boss, and one day, I asked him if it was okay if I moved and wrote music from another place. He said yeah- not knowing that "other place" was THAILAND! I'd always dreamed about Thailand and wanted to experience life here- and this was my chance!

I really love it here in Bangkok. I didn't have much of a life in Nashville: not many friends, no girlfriend. And here- well- it's pretty amazing! I married the most wonderful girl. She's a banker so she didn't really need my money. But she loves me! We met on the Internet, like everyone. No way I coulda met her any other way, unless I guess, if I went to her bank, which I never did. We have two children and they're my pride and joy. My mom came over from America to help us care for them. That's a big help.

Bruce, 62, from Sydney, Australia

I met my wife Cake on the Internet. She has two lovely children, 3 and 6, and she's a teacher. Her salary is about $1300 Australian dollars a month. I was 60 and lost when I met her. I loved her immediately, and invited her to join me in Australia. She said no, she loves Thailand. So I moved to Thailand, to her village. There are about 100 farmers there and lots of work to do- her family has 3 fish ponds. You work really hard, and if you're lucky, make a $700 profit for the year. She also grows palms and rice and other fruits, so we'll never be hungry.

Home in Sydney, I had no life. Here I have a life, but not such an easy one. It cost a lot of time and money for me to build our 3 bedroom home in our village. It's certainly the best house in town, since all the others are... But there's no TV, no Internet, no foreign friends. But my wife is just so wonderful, and the kids are great fun, so it's all worth it.

I have to go back to Sydney for the next two years. There's a law that says if you want to get a pension, you have to live in Australia for 2 years before you're 65, so I have to go back. I spent all my money building the house, so I'll have to live with my family there. Then I'll come back, and on my pension, I'll be rich again!

Ralph, 63, from Denver, Colorado

I had a heart attack, and that made me re-think everything. And I decided with the time I had left, I should enjoy myself. Here in Korat I have a much higher standard of living than I could afford in Denver. And it costs me about 20% as much, so I can live very well and spend very little.

I was a bachelor for some time here, and yes, had a wild time with lots of female attention. But I came to love one of these girls, and I married her, and I'm very happy I did.

These Thai people aren't lonely like we Western people are. Family still means something to them. In Denver, if I heard from my son once a month, that would be a lot. Here, my wife's mom and dad and family are part of our everyday life. We see them all the time, and we're happy to see them all the time. My wife has a daughter and the other children come over to play with her, and sometimes I'll come by to play a little myself! Or I'll just sprinkle some money on them and tell them to go get some candy or ice cream. It's a lovely life!

Martin, 59, from Tacoma, Washington State

I came here for the climate, which is warm and tropical. In Tacoma it just rains all the time! And when it's not raining, it's just about to rain. Or it's cold and depressing.

I came for the climate, but I fell in love with the people, who are warm and fun and good-natured. And then there's the food- love Thai food! Oh, and mustn't forget the girls! Something in the water here where they don't mind I'm older than them. Back home if I started talking to a gal of 30, it would be thought strange. But here it's not- and it's usually not unwelcome either.

Rex, 63, from Tucson, Arizona

I retired from teaching high school in Tucson, and my life was just one big nothing. I decided to take a big leap and join a friend who lives in Loei, Thailand. A really amazing situation here: There are no foreigners hardly. And there are LOTS of girls who want to date foreigners! Gorgeous girls. Desirable girls. Sexy girls. So I've gone from zero to hero, from invisible to the center of attention! At work, or driving around Loei, there's always some cover girl smiling at me!

I haven't been dating anyone, because I've had a hernia. At first I was in denial, big time! I told myself the reason my gut was popping out was because of gas. So I'd shove it back in and promise myself I'd eat better. But then the pain got so bad, I had to go to the hospital. You know, public hospitals here aren't bad at all. They don't take care of you as fast as private hospitals maybe, but they're not halfway bad. I got my hernia operated on, had a private room for two days, nurse care- everything- for $250. Can't complain about that!

I used to be a math teacher, but now I've got a job teaching English to kids. Some I teach 15 minutes a week, some more. Most are really great kids and I enjoy them. My pay isn't bad either, about $800 a month. All in all, it's been an exciting, wonderful move. Now if I can just get a girlfriend... (laughs)

Alex, 39, from Marseille, France

I was originally going to be a banker in Paris. I had trained for it, and I was just graduating in finance. My father decided, before I spent my life in banking, I should see another side of life. So he took me for two weeks to Thailand. What I saw there was so shocking, so wonderful, so amazing, it changed me, and I never did go into banking.

Instead, I decided to move to Thailand and start a tour company for French people who want to see the place. Thailand is such a great place for tourists. The business is going well, now for 5 years.

I don't like living in Bangkok. It's too crowded, too many cars, too noisy. So I live in Chiang Mai, which has everything you could want for living a nice comfortable life.

I have a lovely girlfriend. Oh, she is such a lovely girl. We are on a break from each other just now. She is not happy because... well, there are so many beautiful girls here, I sometimes do something to make her jealous. And she is quite unhappy when she hears I have been out with someone else. I tell her she is the one I love, but... what can I say? I am a man! And French!

How do I meet them? They're all over. It's easy to meet them. Just smile. Most of them don't like Thai men and are happy to meet a foreigner. It's easy. My girlfriend says I am not ready for a real relationship, and perhaps she is right. But I love her! The other day, she told me with tears that she met somebody and went to his apartment. She only stayed a few minutes, then left, as she thought it was wrong. I agree it was wrong, and I'm finding it hard to forgive her, even though I've done the same and more, many times. And I've gone all the way. But I am a man, is different for me.

Tim, 71, from Dallas, Texas

When I worked at American Airlines, I would sometimes fly to Bangkok for the weekend. What an exciting, exotic, wonderful place it was! So different, so amazing, so much more lively than my dull workaday life.

When I retired from American, I decided to move to Bangkok. Friends said I would burn out on life there, and they were right. Too many people, too many traffic jams, air not so good, noise...

But on the Internet I met my girlfriend Nit. She was everything I'd been looking for, and I've been pretty much happy ever since. She's from a village outside Chiang Mai, and we decided to move there. Our life is totally different from Bangkok. Here we're in a planned community. Everything's organized, everything works.

Nit wants to come back to Dallas with me some time. I have a buddy who did that, brought his wife home to San Francisco. She got an under-the-table job and didn't want to leave! So I haven't brought Nit back with me, and don't think I will. Anyway, I doubt she'd qualify for a visa, since we're not married and don't plan to be.

As for Nit, her English isn't the best, but I've picked up some Thai to try and meet her halfway.

Charles, 62, from Inverness, Scotland

Chiang Mai is for me, the best place in the world to live. You've got everything you want and need. It's cheap. It's fun. What more could you want?

I'm an engineer on an oil rig. Been all over the world- I've lived in Brazil, lived in Australia, lived everywhere. Thailand's the best place I've found. I would work one month, get one month off, and wooosh, come here! It's the best place for me. Most of us on the rigs feel like that. Now I'm getting close to retiring, and it's here I want to live.

I meet girls on the Internet, in bars, all over. This one girl I met at Thai Friendly... I really liked her, but she made a bad mistake. She slept with me the first night. Oh yeah, it was fun... but it told me what sort of girl she is. That's fine for sport, but that's not the sort of girl I want to have for a long term partner.

I plan to buy a condo in Chiang Mai. I can get a nice 100 square meter place for maybe $160,000. And I can own it myself. That's the law for condos in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Chiang Mai. It just can't be on the ground floor, as they don't let falang own land. Second floor, third floor, no problem.

Henk, 65, from Amsterdam, The Netherlands

I want to live while I'm alive, like that Bon Jovi song says. I don't want to be married. I've done that before. Just staying home with my wife day after day, night after night, that's not for me. So I'd rather be single, date, play the field, have fun, be free. And Thailand is a great place to do that.

Back in Amsterdam I was a banker. And a good one. But I did not want to live there fulltime, with those cold winters and high expenses, when I retired. A friend told me what a great life he has here- with lots of friends, girls, cheap, fun living. He invited me to visit. At first I just came for 3 months. And I found it was everything he said it was. So now I've moved into his apartment, and he's moved upstairs with his girlfriend (I have a problem climbing stairs.) My place... oh, it's very expensive... about $130 a month! Plus utilities!

I've just been here a few months, but it's a great life. I plan to divide my time between here and my apartment in Amsterdam. I've got children and grandchildren there, and I want to keep in their life. But I also want to have a live of my own. Very hard to do that there. The girls in Amsterdam, they wear a long face. And they're not happy, or maybe they're just not happy with me. But here they are plenty happy, and they don't ask so much.

Sean, 66, from Limerick, Ireland

I'm Irish, and so I pay as much attention to my heart as to my head. And that can get me into trouble.

I met a girl from a village near Udon Thani. She is a lovely girl, beautiful as you can imagine, but our ways are different. We had lots of fights, and not just ordinary fights, but BIG FIGHTS, with screaming and yelling and all sorts of carrying on. I took her to Pattaya just to get us away and give us a new chance. We rented a condo and we were mostly happy, though we still had fights. Then, after about four weeks, she tells me she wants to go somewhere else, she's bored. I was happy enough there, and the rent was all paid up, so I said no. She went off on her own.

Soon after, I had dinner at a hotel and the cashier asks me what I'm doing after I leave. I told her I'm going to a bar to have a beer and shoot pool- and she asks me if she can join me! Well, I was quite surprised. She's a lovely girl, but I'd never seen a Thai girl be so forward. So I says sure, and she does.

Well... I was a perfect gentleman, but one thing led to another and somehow we ended up in bed that night. And we ended up having another date and then another. This girl is just the opposite of the first girl. She's calm and collected. Smart. Thoughtful. She's had a hard life, and it shows a bit. When she was very young, she had a Thai boyfriend who got her pregnant- twice- and then left. Typical story. So she had to work, finally ended up selling her own line of clothes she made herself, became somewhat of a businesswoman.

I like her a lot, and she's very good for me, and there are almost no fights- or even disagreements really. But like I said, I'm Irish, and the heart is important to me too. I let the first one get into my heart, and she's there. So I been keepin' in touch with her as well. The second girl and I have been living in Pattaya for 11 months, and very peacefully, except one day when the first girl showed up!!!

Now the first girl knows Thai boxing, so I was worried about her beating up the second- and maybe me- when she showed up. But it was the other one who was fierce, like a lion defending her cubs, she was. And the first girl left, just hung around a few days, then went back home. I still email her now and then, just to keep in touch, and like I say, she's got my heart, even though she's not good for me...

(As an aside, when I met this fellow in Udon Thani, he was staying at a $10 a night hotel in an inconvenient location, far from downtown. "You're Irish- not Scotch!" I told him. "Why don't you spring for a hotel downtown? It'd only be an extra $5. You'd be close to the mall, to entertainment, to everything." "You never know," he replied, "when you might need that $5. Besides, our hotel is just as nice as the one downtown. And my lady and I enjoy walking- it's only a 20 minute walk downtown." So instead of going out to hear music down the street from his hotel, he and his girl watch TV. Instead of going out to a nice restaurant, he orders out for a pizza.)

Martin, 55, from Miami Beach, Florida

I used to get into fights with women about everything. One girl I dated (once) got insulted when I opened the door for her. "You're trying to control me," she said.

"How am I doing that?" I asked.

"By opening the door and telling me it's time for me to go when you want me to go."

"I'm just trying to be a gentleman," I protested.

"A controlling gentleman."

Here, women are happy to be women, and they're happy for you to be a man. I can't remember the last time I had a fight with the woman I'm dating about...anything!

Harry, 61, from Boise, Idaho

Man, there was nobody for me in Boise. All the women seemed like they were divorcees. And all they wanted to talk about was their bad first marriages!

I handled taxes for a Thai restaurant. And the owner told me I should go to Thailand to find a wife. I did. I married a beautiful girl 24 years younger, and I brought her back to Boise with me. Lots of guys do that, but mostly it doesn't work out. Four or five years go by, the girls become US citizens, they learn English. Then they meet someone younger and they leave. That's what happened to me.

I went back to Thailand to find someone new. One day I was shopping for mobile phones, and I got to talking with this gal... She wasn't so young- 54, but she looks 35. But she was spirited and fun. She worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week. That was a big problem at first, she was always working. I never saw her. I offered to pay her what she made to take one day off, but she didn't reply. That led to us breaking up, for a while. She never took the money, but she did cut back. Now she works 6 days a week, only 8 hours a day.

We get along wonderfully. She speaks a little English and I speak a little Thai. Her kids are all grown and gone. I've found that's a big advantage of being with a woman nearer my age. I don't have the patience anymore to be with a woman who has a lot of children around.

Doug, 69, from Melbourne, Australia

I looked all over the world before I settled on Thailand. I found Issan is cheaper by far than Turkey, which is my second pick. And the girls are prettier! My guess is it costs 25% as much to live here as home, so I can live comfortably on my pension.

I prefer a small town girl to a big city girl any day. You'll find they have more honesty and integrity. It's the same as in Australia or America- a girl from Corvallis or Iowa City will be a totally different girl from a girl from Chicago or Manhattan.

I'm an average-looking older guy, but here, everybody's interested! I take a songthaew (a shared taxi), and the driver asks if he can fix me up with his daughter, who's a pretty village girl. I go to a bookstore, and girls are looking at books near me, hoping I'll speak with them. As I walk thru the mall, lots of girls smile at me.

I knew a guy who would borrow the dog of the owner of the apartment house where he was staying and take him for a walk. Dogs are naturally sociable, so he would come up to every girl in the park, and it wasn't long...

I have heard someone did the same with the infant child of a friend. Lots of girls would come up and talk to the baby. He'd explain he wasn't the dad, and...
**ADVICE FROM OUR 50 GUYS**

Just do it!

"One quote I read from Henry David Thoreau was particularly significant to me when I came to Thailand looking for love. It went 'If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.' I have always found that to be true in my business dealings, and I found it true for my love life in Thailand as well. But really, the hardest part was just getting started. Once I did that, everything else was pretty much easy! It was like that quote from Woody Allen- '90% of success is just showing up!'"

Reasons Thai women are happy to date/love/live with/marry older men:

"They see guys like me as more stable. More financially secure. Younger Thai guys often have no job, no money, and are always bouncing from girlfriend to girlfriend."

"My wife says she's always liked older men. She says they've lived longer, so they're smarter."

"Reason #1: Money. Reason #2: Money. Reason #3: Money."

"Many Thai guys are butterflies. They see Nud on Monday, Tan on Tuesday, Na on Wednesday, etc. They don't want to marry, or even have a serious relationship. So when you look at it from the girls' viewpoint, falangs (foreigners) look pretty good!"

"If you look carefully at who's interested in falangs, a lot of them are Thai women with a child or two. They could use some help raising the kids. They could use some help paying the bills. Not saying that's bad- Hell, I married one of them and I'm happy as can be! I got a sweet, gentle woman, an instant family. It's 1,000,000 times better than living alone in a little apartment in Brooklyn!"

"Large age differences are acceptable here, much more than in the States. Other women don't make fun of you, they want you!"

"A Thai newspaper did a survey a few years ago of 10 year old schoolgirls in Northern Thailand. 99% said they wanted to marry falangs because they would be better husbands."

"A Thai woman who's educated, cultured, and wants a real relationship has nowhere to go except finding a Westerner."

"It's crazy, but Thai women over 30 are regarded- and even regard themselves- as old! Thai men aren't interested in them, but falangs like me are plenty interested. So it's just natural that we'd get together!"

"For some reason, the babies Thais and falangs have are always beautiful! You can take the ugliest guy, and his baby with a Thai woman will turn out _beautiful_!"

"Thais love light skin. It's regarded as more beautiful and higher class. At Boots Pharmacy, there's all sorts of whitening skin creams. So if they have a baby with a white falang, the baby is almost guaranteed to be light."

"A baby born to a falang and a Thai is called 'Luk Kreung,' which means 'child half.' They always have such beautiful white skin- Thais love white skin. Lots of famous Thai singers and actors are luk kreung, and they're very well accepted."

"Whether it's in Houston or Thailand, one thing that attracts women to men is money. There's no denying that and that's just how life is. And no matter where you are here in Thailand, you're the richest guy around! You can accept that or you can let it be a reason to isolate yourself. I just enjoy it, but hell, I enjoy most everything here!"

"Most all marriages used to be arranged. Parents would marry off their daughters to settle debts, as part of partnerships, for political reasons, etc. So it's in the culture for these women to marry for some reason other than love. In the beginning, they may not even like their husbands much, but with time, they usually learn to love them."

"I'm a pensioner from Sydney, and my pension is many times what a Thai makes. And it's stable, going to go on and on the same. Maybe that's what me wife likes about me. That, and me good looks!"

"I asked my wife about this very question, and she said I treat her better than any Thai man would. I don't beat her. I don't come home drunk. I give her a nice allowance that's enough- more than enough- for her and our child."

Where to meet single women

Go beyond bars: "Most falangs only meet girls in bars, because they are easy to meet. But if you get out a little, there are lots of girls to meet. 99% of Thai girls are not bar girls. Talk to your tuk tuk driver. Ask him if he knows anyone. Spend a little time talking with the clerks at your hotel. Most of them will know some single women who want to meet falangs, because everyone wants to meet falangs!"

"If you're in Bangkok or Chiang Mai, go to the many concerts, art shows, museums, and lectures that are happening all the time. Go to Christian or Buddhist services. Go to events that interest you, and you'll meet women with similar interests."

"Schools and hospitals are where to find a good respectable girl. Take a beginning Thai class at AUA and you'll be around lovely Thai girls all the time. Get a checkup and get your teeth cleaned at the local hospital. It's 25% the price in America and who knows who you might meet!"

If you want to choose among hundreds of girls and be sure about who you're meeting, go to an introduction service. They'll show you galleries of hundreds of girls, plus information like whether she has children or wants children, her education and job etc. The girls have been pre-screened so you know they're not really bar girls and don't have children they're hiding with their sisters. You get to pick the ones you'd like to meet. If they agree, meeting dates are set up. Men like this way of meeting because they feel safe and comfortable. Best introduction service I know: Thai Personal Connections (www.thaipersonalconnections.com).

From a poster on a local website: "I've been happily married to an ex-nurse for 11 years. I was in the coffee shop at Maharaj hospital, waiting for my wife visiting her brother - when I was approached by a very attractive nurse, asking if I had a girlfriend. I said I was waiting for my wife. She grinned - and asked if I had a falang friend whom she could meet. This was in excellent English and almost sorry to disappoint her."

"I think Bangkok, Chiang Mai, Phuket and Pattaya aren't easy places to find love. They're too busy, too fast-paced, too much prostitution, dirty, expensive... I'd go to smaller cities where I think it's easier to start a real relationship."

"Normal girls don't tend to hang out in tourist areas unless they're working there. So go outside those places – you'd be surprised what you find!"

"Stay at a nice hotel in a smaller city like Ubon, Udon, Korat, Khon Kaen, or Nong Khai. Shop at the same shops every day. After a while, people will get to know you- shop assistants, clerks, food service. If they speak English, they'll talk to you. Even if they're not free, everybody's got a sister or cousin who wants to meet somebody."

"Look up 'salsa Bangkok' in google and go to some salsa lessons. You'll meet a totally different kind of girl than you'd meet at a bar. She'll be educated, have a good job, she'll speak English well."

"Get massages at a different place every day- pretty soon you'll connect with some lovely wonderful massage girl who's interested. Then you'll have a new girlfriend- and you'll get free massages!"

"I really don't think it's necessary to meet girls on the Internet. Just take a few weeks off, come here, and walk around. You'll meet girls at the park, in the market, everywhere. The other day, I asked an older woman if a melon was ripe. And she said, 'Just a minute, I want you to meet my daughter!'"

Say something!: "When you see a woman you're attracted to, ask her a question: 'How do you get to so and so Skytrain stop?' 'I'm lost. Can you tell me where the Night Market is?' 'Is there an English bookshop nearby?' At a restaurant: 'What's good to eat here?'''

"No matter what you say, say something! At least that way you'll have made some contact. And smile! If she's interested, she'll smile back."

"It's a great idea to learn Thai as most girls speak little or no English. Me, I've tried, but nobody understands me! Thai's a tonal language, and if you get the tone even a little wrong, you'll get this blank stare- they'll have no idea whatsoever what you're saying!"

You can meet girls just living your everyday life. A poster on our local community website had this to say: "Catching the smile from the young lady standing at the optician's on the way into Tesco... and returning it. Followed up with an impromptu tightening of the frame screws in my glasses. Noticing the cute shelf-stacker that was surreptitiously watching my selection 10 minutes earlier suddenly appear to bag my purchases at the check-out and asking me if I spoke Thai... and me denying it. The HomePro checkout lady that asked what 'GBP' meant when processing my credit card... and my indulging her with a few more currency abbreviations she may encounter. Helping the lady get her bag down from the overhead locker on arrival at the airport a few months back... and her seeking me out at the baggage claim to ask the best way into town. The opportunities are ENDLESS but one just has to watch very carefully and stop goggling at the mostly untouchable young & pretty ones."

"If you have a baby in your arms, lots of girls- and lots of other people- will come up to you and smile. You could explain it's not your baby, you're single, and let things go from there."

"Thai girls may smile at you, but they'll never make the first move. So if it's going to happen, YOU have to get out of your comfort zone and say hello. Good idea to know at least a little Thai, so she'll understand what you're saying!"

"Where to meet a Thai girl...walk out your front door!"

"Go to Lions meetings, Rotary, Kiwanis. Go to the theater, plays, speechs. Find a university library and do your reading there. Go to places where a well-educated, normal Thai woman is likely to be found."

"Talk to other foreigners- you'll find plenty all around, and if you're shy about starting a conversation, go to expat club meetings. Find one who seems happy with his girl, and ask him- and his girlfriend- if they know someone you might like. You'd be surprised..."

"I met my girlfriend at the local shopping center. I looked at her and smiled. She smiled back. I walked up and said hi. She said hi back. We went to get some coffee and donuts. Simple as that."

"One guy I knew would walk up to girls, say, "Suay mak" (very pretty), and hand them a card with his name, local number, and email address on it. Well it wasn't the easiest sale- and I wouldn't do it- but he did get some calls and emails, and did meet his girlfriend that way."

"Get your hair done, and ask the hairdresser if she knows anyone- probably she'll have many friends who want to meet a good falang like you!"

"Get manicures- there will be lots of girls working there, and some will have friends looking for someone."

Meeting Girls on the Internet

Line up LOTS of girls: "A friend met a girl online, and corresponded with her for some time before coming to Thailand. And he came to meet that one girl. And it worked...for him. But most times it doesn't work. There is no magic. There is no love at first sight. And then where are you? Better to have ten girls you've been corresponding with all lined up. Then you show up here and meet them all and find you like two better than the rest. Drop the others, date the two, until you find which one is a better match for you. This makes a whole lot more sense than does just writing one and hoping on hope that lightening will strike."

"Try friending some women on Facebook, and see what happens!"

"It's the same as fishing. If you go fishing with one line and nothing bites, you go home hungry. But suppose you have FIFTEEN lines! If 14 come up empty, but one catches a fish, you still get to eat!"

A case study: While researching this book, I paid half of a friend named Gary's Thai Cupid membership- with the understanding that he would tell me everything. His first report went like this: "This is not as easy as it seems. I took out an ad: 'Wife wanted by teacher- not too crazy.' So far nobody's contacted me. I've contacted many, many girls, and arranged 11 dates. Only 3 showed up! The worst one came with a friend- and ordered everything on the menu! I told them I wasn't going to pay for them, and we agreed to split the bill. I'm feeling discouraged."

I showed Gary's email to a psychologist/friend. He said to me: "Imagine you were single again, and you saw a woman's ad that went: 'Husband wanted- not too crazy.'" "I wouldn't answer that ad," I replied. He asked why? "Because it sounds like the girl has a chip on her shoulder. She expects you to be crazy or has had lots of bad experiences before and thinks it's likely meeting me would be one more bad experience. She'd be looking like a hawk for something bad, and so would probably find it." "Exactly!" he said.

"Second," my psychologist/friend said. "Wife wanted" is not too bad for Thailand. Most girls want husbands, and at least they'll know you're serious, while many men aren't. But I would add why you want a wife. For companionship? For travel? To help raise your kids? For love? To share expenses? To go through life's joys and sorrows with you?"

Gary did try again. His new ad read: "Wife wanted by teacher- for love, companionship, travel." At my suggestion, he posted a new head shot so girls who'd seen his ad the first time would give him another look. He reports: "It's night and day!: Several girls have written me. And most girls are replying to my messages. I've been on 4 dates so far- every one showed up. I don't want to speak too soon, but #4 is beautiful and fun."

Focus on one or two areas: "Lots of guys go to websites like Thaismile.com and start writing to every girl who looks pretty- and there are plenty! So they end up with 3 in Bangkok, 2 in Buriram, 1 in Chiang Rai, and 2 in Phitsanulok. Sounds like a wonderful male fantasy, but if what they want is a real relationship, they've hurt their chances.

"Why? It takes a while to get to know somebody, and they're never going to get that chance. In a place like Buriram, there's not much to do, so they're probably not going to be too happy to hang out there for a week or a month while they see a girl for an hour or two a day. And with so many girls here and there, they'll always be scurrying around, spending an afternoon with this one, a dinner with that one- and ending up alone. Better, I think, to just pick one or two places, and meet lots of girls there."

"I think Bangkok is better than Pattaya or Phuket to look for someone. Bangkok has millions of educated normal girls leading normal lives. Pattaya or Phuket have many thousands of bar girls or girls who are attracted to the party atmosphere there."

"You can't be too careful nowadays. When you meet a girl on the Internet, you should run her name, email address, Facebook name, Skype name- whatever you've got- on Facebook and Google. See what comes up. Friend of mine did that- and found pictures of this girl with another falang- and she'd said she'd never even met a falang before!

Who to Choose

Choose the one who makes you feel alive!: "Don't just choose the prettiest girl- those are a dime a dozen over here. Choose the girl who makes you feel alive, who's kind, who makes you feel that you're home."

Someone who has children: "Most guys don't really want children, but they accept the package. If she already has children, hang out with them and see if you like them, if they like you. And if it's a situation you think you can be happy with for the long haul. Someone I know loved his girlfriend, and her 2 and 4 year old, but just couldn't deal with all the noise and running around."

Someone who wants children: "This is a biggie. Thais love children, and most Thai women want one. Think through this very carefully, as it's a long term commitment. If you don't want children, say so, and find someone who agrees with you or someone who can't have children. Or, find someone who's too old to have children or who's got adult children."

"Having a child at 60...I didn't think it would be so much fun, but it is! I get to do all the things I was always too busy to do with my kids the first time. Ride canoes, go biking, draw cartoons. Really it's given me a new life..."

Middle class women: "A shopkeeper or government officer, someone with a normal job, is best. Usually they'll have some college, be divorced, perhaps have children, and not interested in Thai men. Poor women can be fine, but often they're struggling and are just interested in money, money, money."

Shy girls: "Don't be put off because a girl is shy. That's exactly what you want! Someone who hasn't been around a lot. Someone with good manners, morals, and values. Someone who, if she comes to trust you and love you, will stick around through good times and bad."

Someone who treats her kids or parents well: "If she has a kid or parents, see how she treats them. If she's neglectful or abusive, she'll probably be like that with you someday. If she's wonderful and respectful, you can expect the same."

Not a bar girl: "My advice for other mens: There are so many single woman here, working in the bank or the grocery store- everywhere! And they are lovely and wonderful and they are happy to meet you, most of them. But many men meet their wives where? In the go-go bar! Those girl have no culture, no education, they just use mens. And when you marry them, they just take and take and take your money. And their whole family take your money till you have no money or you quit. So my advice is to go to the go-go bar for looking only. But go to elsewhere - anywhere else - to find your wife."

Choose your daughter, not your granddaughter: "For God's sake, if a girl doesn't know about Vietnam or President Kennedy, the hippies or Bob Seger and John Lennon, how are you going to relate to her? You've got nothing in common! Now having said that, I should add that I know a retired guy here who married a girl in her teens. They have a baby now, which certainly gives them something in common! And he says he's having fun teaching her about life, like Eliza Doolittle. So maybe there is some hope, but I would suggest you find someone no more than 20 years younger."

Someone in her 40s: "Girls in their 40s don't want to go to discos. So you won't feel like Prince Charles with Diana. They don't want to hang out with their friends. If they have children- or if they don't- they're happy to be home with you, or to go out if that's what you want to do. They will be grateful to have you, nobody else will be interested. She won't think of herself as young, but she will still look young and act young. And since she doesn't think of herself as young, she won't think of you as too old."

"Girls in their 20s make good eye candy. But older girls are more interesting, have better social skills, and more grace. They're more likely to stick around and do the hard work it takes to make a relationship work."

Age doesn't matter to these girls: "Thai people see the world as a circle rather than a line. There's the rainy season, then the dry season, then the rainy season again. In their wonderful Buddhist religion, there's birth and then death, and then birth again. And it all just sort of goes round and round. So if you're 80 and she's 20, you're just in different places on the circle. And before long, you'll die and be reborn, and they'll be old and it just goes on. So she doesn't mind that her face is unlined and she has firm young breasts and bouncy buttocks- and your hand that reaches out to touch that face and breast is withered and shaking. You're all just on the circle of life, and it isn't something that concerns her."

Don't look for a nurse: "Lots of guys I've known, they come to Thailand looking for someone to clean up after them and change their diapers and spoon feed them when they get old. If you want that, get a real nurse- I hear you can hire a Lao helper for $100 a month here. But don't expect a wife to do that as she probably won't."

Be aware of what you're getting into before you get involved: "You may be expected to provide money to care for your lady's parents (likely), and other members of her family (maybe). In Thai families, the one who has money is expected to help the others, and that's always going to be YOU. So find an orphan. Or find a girl whose family all have steady jobs. Find someone with no children. Or at least know what you're in for before you get involved. One man I know married a woman whose son sniffs glue. That boy will never have a job, never be able to support himself, and the friend will be expected to support him forever."

Don't reject girls just because their pictures show them wearing military uniforms: "On Thailovelines, Megafriends, and all the other Thai dating websites, I would often see girls pictured wearing what looked like military uniforms. And I would always pass on contacting them. I would think they were either in the military, in the reserves, or thought those pictures were attractive. I thought, 'Well they wouldn't understand me or my culture if they have a military picture on a dating website.' What I did not know was that everyone who works for the government has a picture like this, though they may have only worn that uniform once in their lives. And in many cases, this is the only picture the girls have. My own wonderful wife has a picture of herself in a military uniform hanging on our wall. She just, fortunately, did not post that one online."

Don't reject girls just because they don't speak much English: "Because there were so many girls to choose from, I think I was too quick to reject girls who couldn't speak English. I just figured if they hadn't learned English by now, they probably never would. But a friend of mine met a wonderful woman and sent her to school to learn English. And he married her. And he has a wonderful life with her. Probably I could have been more patient, and maybe you should be too."

Look for an honest, hardworking woman. (From a local poster): "It's so easy to find a nice woman. Just go shopping in any market in a normal town, buy some fruit or fried chicken and you will see an honest hardworking person. The chances are they will have at least one child and the husband has done a bunk. That's why they are working selling their wares as opposed to their body. Don't get too chatty till they know you don't have a wife or girlfriend and they will approach you. There are many many very nice women that really do need a bit of financial support for their kids' schooling etc. In return they will support you through thick and thin."

Dating Do's and Don'ts

On your first date: "Expect her to bring a girlfriend or sister. Often they'll speak English- your date won't! In some Thai circles, it isn't proper for a girl to go alone on a first date. Best to just smile, be nice to the chaperone, and see how it goes!"

"Present your best self. Dress nicely. Comb your hair. Clean your nails, your teeth, etc. I know a guy, a business owner, who only shaves every few days and dresses like he's homeless. Girls here go a lot on appearance, and maybe that's why he still has no girlfriend although he's a pretty great guy."

"Learn to speak at least a few words of Thai. This shows respect and interest in her and her culture."

"Go somewhere that's fun, where you're around people, where you two can relax and get to know each other."

"Treat her with respect, no matter where you met her."

"When the bill comes, pay it. This isn't America, and it's the custom here for the guy to pay. Besides, you've probably got 100 times more than she's got."

"Start by just being a friend. Then see what develops. See what you have in common, what you both enjoy doing. Then if you have a second date, invite her to do that!"

"I would never try to sleep with a Thai girl on the first date, but if it works out that way, drop her. Yes, I know you're irresistible, but if she's doing it with you, you're probably not the first one."

Tell the truth: "Guys who act like they're rich, next thing you know the girl is asking to fly first class, or she's not happy when you book the two of you into some cheap hotel. Or when you suggest dinner at the Night Market or KFC. Better to let her know approximately what you can afford. If you marry, it's best to spell out in detail your financial situation. Give her a monthly allowance on which she can run the household. Let her have some personal spending money."

"When I met the woman who became my wife, she was 40 and I was 54. I told her I didn't want any kids, and if she did, I understood and she should find someone else. I feel like that honesty made for a good start."

Don't tell her she's The One- unless you mean it: "If you're just dating, it's okay to play the field, you just don't talk about it. And if she asks, tell the truth- she probably already knows. Tell her yes you're dating others, but you're not having sex with anyone, and you aren't serious about anyone else."

"Thailand is where all your dreams come true- if you're a man. Here, if you have one arm, one leg, no hair, and a little money, people will be surprised if you don't have a beautiful girlfriend! But a lot of guys go overboard and date everyone in town, and have sex with everyone they can- and pretend to each girl that she's the only one. This is a bad, bad, bad idea, because 100% of the time, she will find out the truth and punish you for it! Recently, one girl here glued her boyfriend's penis to his thigh with superglue. That's an extreme case, but believe me, you've never seen jealously like Thai jealousy. You will damage your reputation, you'll go from hero to zero, everyone will hate you and look down on you. It will not be pleasant. So don't do it! If you just want to date, say so. Girls can accept that. That's what Thai guys do, so they're used to it. What they can't accept is you lying about it."

Do not give your girlfriend or wife any possible reason to be jealous: "Thai women tend to be very jealous. In some cases insanely jealous. So do not look at other girls, no matter how amazing they look. Do not complement other women on how good they're looking. Do not talk about other women in front of your woman. And do not bring your wife to meet your ex."

Understanding Thai Women

"Thai women are brought up to look out for and nurture their family and their man. This is very different from Western women, who are raised to be independent and feminists."

"Thai women want what every woman wants: To be loved, cherished, and respected. Treat her well, and she'll return the favor 100 times."

"If you really want to win her over, look deeply and find out what's special about her: her smile, how she always looks out for you, how she takes time to listen to you. Then let her know you've noticed and appreciate those things. She'll really love you for that!"

"The popular image of Thailand from movies like _The Hangover_ is of a wild place where people party all the time and do crazy shit. This may be true of bar girls. But the great majority of Thai women generally are quite conservative. They dress modestly and are very well behaved. Although things are changing, you'll never see them in a bar, unless they're a bar girl. You won't see them smoking or drinking or gambling or kissing in public. They will never sleep with you until they've gotten to know you well. If they did, they would be criticized by their friends and family."

From a local poster: "Many Western women are outspoken and blunt, and Thai culture, as a general rule, is not this way. They don't like to be confronted and don't like to confront other people. They do not like to be embarrassed and don't like to embarrass others. This may be translated by a Western man as a lack of honesty or sincerity, but that can't be further from the truth. Thai culture believes that it is better to say nothing at all than to say something negative or hurtful."

Another poster: "A Thai lady will cook dinner, do the laundry, bring you a drink, spoil you and even deal with you hanging out at the local pub for a few drinks every evening as long as you take care of her as well (which might include sending money home to her family). You might even go as far as making her responsible for the family budget and you can be certain that she will do an excellent job."

Guy Friends

PUT YOUR MATES FIRST: "Women come and go, but your mates are forever (or at least for a long time). So value them, and put them first.

"A buddy of mine met a girl- a bar girl- and she so totally dominated him, telling him I'm not good for him, and he should be with her all the time, not me. He started hanging out with me less and less, and then finally not at all.

"He took all his life savings- 100,000 pounds- and brought it over from England. Put it in a bank account, and to show her how much he loved her, he puts both of their names on it.

"One day, he goes to the bank to take out some money. There's nothing in the account! He tells his girlfriend and she says the bank has taken your money. So he tells me the whole story, and I tell him no, the bank wouldn't steal your money. I tell him I've got a friend at the bank, and I'll check with him if you like. He says yes, and I do. Turns out she'd been using her ATM card over months to take out more and more money- and finally ALL the money. And now it was gone, and she was gone. Said if he didn't trust her, she was leaving, some nonsense like that...

"I wasn't that interested in helping him as he had dumped me as a friend, and don't know what I could have done anyway.

"Now he's back in the UK living with his ex and their son, miserable and broke as can be.

"Lessons I get from this are: value your buddies most of all, before women. Don't stay with a woman who tries to get you to dump your mates. Don't date bar girls, don't live with bar girls, etc. Leave most of your money in your home country. And give your girlfriend or wife an allowance, but not access to all your money!"

Stay away from crazy falangs: "There are, quite honestly, more than a few crazy falangs in Thailand. Stay away from them. I saw these falang. They were drunk and came into a restaurant just after me, and asked to sit with me. I told them, 'You sit here, I gotta sit there by myself, as I have a headache.' I don't want to be friends with them, but I also don't want to insult them."

Find guy friends who are more established: "Stick with western men who have money/education and something to lose (like a house or business). Then you'll have common ground. Most of my falang friends have shops, where their wives work in the front, and they are busy in the back fixing things or taking care of accounting. Guys you meet in bars don't make very good friends, though it can be fun talking with them sometimes."

Choosing to Get Serious

Do the hard work of having a relationship if that's your goal: "It was my 46th birthday, and I was in Pattaya getting drunk with bar girls. I really like doing that! I like the scene. I like the beautiful bar girls. I like that, for just a little money, I can take any one of them back to my hotel for an amazing night of wild sex doing stuff they would never do with their boyfriend! But the thought kept coming back that I've been doing this for 10 years, and I'm not getting anywhere. What I really want is to have a wife, and maybe a child, and I'm no closer to having that.

"Why do I keep going back to Pattaya? Well, I know it, and I know just what to do, and- frankly- it's easy. I'm guaranteed success. If you have money, that fantastic looking lady at the bar will go home with you and give you the time of your life!

"But what I have to do- and what I advise other guys to do- is to get out there and do the hard work of finding a real Thai girlfriend and wife. And take chances with rejection and disappointment and loneliness and suffering- all those good things! Go to Thai Cupid and find someone there and put in the time and effort. It's all quite possible. I have friends who've done it. Now all I have to do is follow my own good advice!"

(Later he adds) "It's sort of like deciding what to eat. I mean, you can down junk food and sugar every meal- and end up gaining weight and looking like a pig. Or you can spend a little more money, take a little more time, and eat something that's good for you. Or like, you can just sit around watching TV. Or you can exercise, get on that treadmill, lift those weights... I guess everything in life's like that."

Marriage Do's and Don'ts

Don't get married before you've known a girl for a year: "Most guys...things are going well, and they think they'll continue to go well, so after two months, they pop the question. Naturally, the girl says yes. Everyone's thrilled...for a while. But then you move in together, and you find out she's a neatness freak, while you're sloppy. Or she wants you home every night, and you like to hang with your buddies at the bar. Or there are any of a thousand other problems you just didn't realize because you haven't been together long enough. You'll only find these out...if you take a year!"

A local poster: "In your own country you wouldn't imagine marrying someone you met a month ago. It takes time to get to know your new friend, to comprehend her culture and background and to gain each other's trust. You also need to comprehend the financial repercussions of your relationship, as throughout history in Thailand marriage is a financial partnership as much as a romantic one. Be sure to look before you leap."

Agree on her allowance beforehand: "If she's to have an allowance after you're married, agree on how much beforehand. This amount will often be mentioned in talk between her and her girlfriends, so don't be too cheap. A distant #2 topic will be if you have a good heart."

Don't cheat: "If you do get married, it's not a good idea to have a mistress, known here as a 'geek.' For one thing, it'll takes up a lot of your time and money. She'll be expecting you to provide her with a nice apartment and to pay all her expenses. Most likely she'll want you to take her out to expensive restaurants and nightclubs once or twice a week. And she'll bother you the rest of the time too. It's one of those things that sounds like fun, but it won't be fun for long."

"Man, you're like a kid in a candy store here. There are so many girls, and they're mostly all interested! It's like nothin' you've ever seen. So I got a little carried away. I was having lunch at a hotel, and I met the most stunning-looking waitress, who kept filling my water. And before you knew it, we're going off during her lunch hour to one of the rooms in the hotel- it's just like a sex fantasy! And before you know it, one of the other waitresses, who knows somebody who's got a sister who knows my wife, tells her! I come home and my stuff's all out in the street and my wife's screamin', and I just can't hardly believe it! I went from feeling like the luckiest man in the world to, well, nothin'... When the waitress found out about all the pain we had caused and all the trouble I was in, she didn't want to see me either."

If you marry, have a Buddhist wedding: "A Buddhist wedding is a moral wedding, not a legal wedding. So if you have a Buddhist wedding and things don't work out, you won't have to get divorced. You don't have to leave Thailand or pay the girl a bunch of money. So you'll have the girl. She'll be happy and Thai family and everybody will be happy. But you won't be on the hook for all that much.

"On the other hand, you won't have the benefits of being legally married. For example, you won't be able to deduct her from your U.S. taxes. If you want to take her to live with you in America, she won't be eligible for a "married visa"- a visa only given to the legal wives of Americans."

Do give a dowry: "We don't have dowries in the West, so you might not think they're important. Or you might think you're being asked to 'buy' the girl. But here in Thailand, dowries show respect. Sometimes the dowry goes to the girl, and provides some security for her. Sometimes the dowry goes to the girl's parents to thank them for raising such a nice daughter. If you don't give them some dowry, they are guaranteed not to be real happy with you. They may well refuse your offer of marriage, or refuse to attend the wedding. Somehow- believe me- they will find a way to make you miserable. Also, the community will hear about it and will look down on you."

"How much to give is always a tricky question. Just remember that everyone at the wedding will be asking each other. And the topic will come up often in future years. If the answer is $250, it won't look too good!"

Don't take your Thai wife or girlfriend abroad: "She'll talk to Western girls, and, little by little, she'll become like them. A friend took his Thai fiance abroad. And had her sign a prenuptial agreement so he could protect himself. And then he married her. So she starts telling him every day that she's not happy about the prenup. 'If you really love me,' she'd say, 'you wouldn't need the prenup.' And it was hard for him to disagree. So on their one year anniversary, they held a ceremony in which they burned the prenuptial agreement. The marriage seemed to go downhill from there, She wasn't as cooperative, wasn't as pleasant. They held on for another 7 years, and then finally divorced. Because he had no prenuptial, he lost bigtime."

"If I bring her back to California, she'll hang out with those feminists, those man-haters. Next thing you know, instead of cooking for me, she'll want me to cook for her! Instead of her giving me massages, she'll want me to give her massages! That wouldn't do. And they'll be telling her she should find a rich man, or a young man. She's happy right now- and I'm happy. Why shake things up?"

"I feel that bringing your wife abroad would be good for the woman. It would help her understand you, understand what your world is like. Now granted, I haven't done that- I like her just like she is right now, don't want to risk it!"

Settling In

Adjusting: "At first, I loved everything about it. Then I hated everything about it. Then I realized it's like everywhere else, life's what you make it. Decide to enjoy your life, and you can.

"You need to be adaptable and bend to their ways and customs and beliefs, and not expect the opposite. Give it a try for 6 months."

Rent first: "When you first come here to live or to try it out, live in an apartment attached to a hospital. They're cheap by the week or month. They're easy in- easy out, and they're clean."

Bang a gong!: "If you are looking for a single family home to rent, don't just go there in the daytime. All the dogs will be asleep. Come by at night. Bang some trash can lids together, and see what happens. Coming in the day works in America, but here, you have to think about a lot more possibilities, and one is that there will be dogs living all around your new house, keeping you up all night. Believe me, this is hard-won wisdom I'm sharing!"

Rent, don't own: "That way, you'll be able to easily LEAVE if there are problems. I had the most lovely house I rented for years.

Just loved it! It was on a cul de sac. Next door to a policeman, so safe. Quiet as can be. But then the policeman left and the next renter installed a kennel. Yes, you can bring a kennel into a residential area- you can do anything in Thailand! There is no zoning, there are no rules. So suddenly, I went from perfect quiet, where the only noise was the breeze in the afternoon- I went from that to constant threatening barking from 12 doberman attack dogs! Well, I just started going out of my mind!!!!!!!!! Fortunately, I was renting, and so I got the hell out of there quick as I could. If I owned, I'd be in a heap of trouble."

"I own a lovely 3 bedroom/ 2 bath home in a nice neighborhood. But then one day, the renters across the street open up a factory in what had been a garage. Suddenly, there's banging and soldering- they seem to be making metal furniture. I can't leave, I own, and my place is worth 250 grand or so- a fantastic house. I was just talking with my wife about this, I think we should offer the owner some money to kick those people out. But my wife says the owner will tell the renter and they'll get mad and set our place on fire. So I'm just not sure what to do, that factory sure makes my life a whole lot less pleasant."

"Never buy a house- Under Thai law your wife will own it, and if you split up, you'll get the short end of the stick. Never bring more to Thailand than you can afford to lose. This means keep your money in your home country, and certainly don't give your girlfriend or wife access to more than a little of it."

(Author's note: In some cities you can own a condominium in your own name. If you want a house, you'll need to do it in the name of a Thai- like your wife- but you can take out a 30 year lease on the land, renewable for a second 30 years. A friend who bought the land to buy a house, then divorced before he built the house, ended up splitting the sales price with his wife when they divorced. I hear this is common.)

"Travel around and see what life's like all over Thailand. Rent first for a year or two- but never less than 6 months- and decide if you really like a place and the people there."

Don't move in with in-laws: "True, it's free, while an apartment or house will put you out $2-400. And your wife won't mind- in fact, she'll probably love it. But don't do it! You won't have any privacy. And your wife will lavish attention on her mom and dad- everyone but you! Better to have your own place 15-20 minutes away and visit the folks once or twice a week."

Drive a modest car: "We drive a 10 year old car, a Honda City. When we got married, my wife's brother asked if he could buy her car, expecting naturally that we would be buying a Mercedes. No way! Having an expensive car in this town would make us targets for thieves. And if anyone hit us, they could never afford to repair such a car. Much better to just have an ordinary car, like everyone else. Lately, however, I'm noticing that our car is standing out because it is older than everyone else's! Soon it may be time to trade it in for a good 2 year old car."

Go to an American-trained dentist and doctor: "I had a toothache, so I looked for a dentist. The one who was recommended to me was busy, so I walked around the corner and found another one. Thai. He wasn't a good dentist. Pretty much botched my root canal. I came back to him to complain it was still hurting. He gave me some medicine, but a few days later, the pain returned and I went back to him. 'What do you want me to do?' he asked. I said, 'You're the dentist. You tell me.' He became upset, gave me my money back, and kicked me out!

"I went to the first dentist, who now was free. I told her my story. 'That's a shame,' she said. 'He had to give you money back!' Here I thought she was sorry for me having a bad root canal and pain, but no, she felt bad the other dentist had lost his money! 'But what about ME?!' I cried. No response. Still she did a good job, or at least I haven't had any more pain for a long time."

(Note from Scott, your author: I don't agree with this advice. One of my two dentists was trained in Bangkok, and has given me superb dental care. To find a dentist, ask someone whose opinion you trust for a recommendation.)

Dealing with Gossip: "Your neighbors, your Thai friends, everyone will gossip about you endlessly. That's how most people are. If you're not giving your girlfriend or wife much money, they'll ask her why she has such a cheap falang. If they see you talking with another women, some will say she's your new girlfriend/wife - or she's your mistress.

"I don't worry about it. In fact I feed it. If someone says they haven't seen me with a girl, I tell them I have 5 mistresses in the next town. I tell them sometimes I go out to the fields and make love with an elephant!"

"One time, a friend had to go to the hospital and left me to babysit his two children. So I took them to get an ice cream. Someone saw us and started a rumor I had a secret family on the side of town that my girlfriend didn't know about. I told her the truth, and told her to tell everyone else, and that settled that- for now."

Let her be in charge of the kitchen: "My first wife used to yell at me when I didn't wash the dishes. She'd call me lazy and deride me for expecting 'maid service' from her. My Thai wife forbids me to do the dishes, telling me that's her job. My job- she tells me- is just to enjoy myself!"
**Goodbye for now...**

Well, that's the end of my book. I hope you like it and most important I hope you will use it to find the girl of your own dreams.

I am interested in hearing from you, so please email me at _scottcurtis@yandex.com_. I'm especially interested in any love stories (and what you learned) that I can use in a possible Part 3 of this series. Also, if you'd like me to let you know when Part 3 is out, please drop me a note.

If you haven't already, you may want to read the companion to this book, which is my personal story. It's entitled _How I Moved to Thailand, Retired Early, Found Love, Built a Mansion, Live Like a King on a Pension, – Plus How You Can Too!!!_.

Bye for now- I know you're going to be a big success! Scott

Scott Curtis is the pen name of a popular author whose books have sold millions of copies. He is a graduate of UCLA and the University of Oregon and was a teacher for many years. He is using a pen name because this book is true and highly personal, and he wishes to preserve his privacy.

How I Moved to Thailand, Retired Early, Found Love, Built a Mansion, Live Like a King on a Pension, – Plus How You Can Too!!!

Now available everywhere books are sold!
Praise from readers for

How I Moved to Thailand

Amazon Customer

5.0 out of 5 stars

A great book about a great place

Scott does a fantastic non-PC take on the American Woman. His description of life in Udon is spot on. I've lived here for years and he manages to get the flavor of the place just right. He deal well with the little pleasures of living in Thailand. And, he does a great job of capturing the special aura of Thai women. If you're looking for a new life in paradise, read this book. I re-read this book recently and it still does a great job of describing the flavor of expat life in Udon Thani. My only reservation is that too many foreigners will discover how great it is here.

retiredone2007

5.0 out of 5 stars

When the pond you're fishing in (for women) is not giving you any good catches, then move to a new pond

The most important points brought to light in this most helpful book are: 1. When the pond you're fishing in (for women) is not giving you any good catches, then move to a new pond. 2. Do your self-reflecting homework and make a list of the criteria you are looking for in a woman. Write it down. and, 3. Stick to that list and be willing to say NO when a person doesn't meet your criteria (e.g., too young, doesn't speak English, etc.). Hold out for the woman you are looking for.

Paul

5.0 out of 5 star

Realistic

I've been to Thailand many times and this is just how it is. Everything is exactly like the book when I am there although I haven't met my bride yet. I enjoyed the references to Thai culture and traditions. When in Thailand I try to respect the Thai culture and not act like an arrogant tourist. This book gave me some tips, like not touching the people taking pictures with them, and the dowry that has to be paid to the wife. I'll look forward to another book.

Paul S Neustadt

5.0 out of 5 stars

Many guys think about going to Thailand - Scott Curtis did it and relates in detail what is was like

Interesting book. Mr. Curtis is in the unique position of being able to write about what so many men dream about. He gave up his life in the U.S., moved to Thailand and lives there now. Writing in the first person from actual experience (as opposed to stories from others), he gives a detailed, on-the-ground description of how his life changed when he moved from the U.S., and what his life in Thailand is like now. The book is well written and both easy and enjoyable to read. Curtis' writing style is conversational, and he throws in great little details as he describes his own move to Thailand. If you're a single guy thinking about moving to Thailand, or even if you're not, you'll like this book.

Avram Grossman

5.0 out of 5 stars

Inspirational

What an encouraging book, and story of his experiences. He met the most wonderful woman and has been married for 12+ years, living in Thailand and enjoying his life. Little to worry about. Great food. Scott you are an inspiration of us guys in Irvine, California who keep banging our heads into brick walls. Just just meet anyone nice here. Thanks for writing this book.

5.0 out of 5 stars

A Real Life Dream Comes True

I am an acquaintance of Scott and through mutual friends I heard of all the suffering he felt while he struggled with the American dating scene. But all that changed when he met Lek in Thailand. He has gone from being a lonely single to now being a part of a wonderful, loving couple. And he's now able to enjoy a lifestyle that he wasn't able to afford in the USA. If you're free and single you'd be a fool not to read about Scott's life and then go over to Thailand and live it for yourself.
Just released!

